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Thor 3- RagingCock: A Porn parody

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Tom finished the play to a rousing applause and standing ovation. The cast bowed deeply. It was the first night of Coriolanus. Tom smiled widely and exhausted. He was so surprised that Shakespeare was so widely appreciated. The lights went out and Tom and the others returned to their rooms to get cleaned up and head out for celebratory drinks.

In the crowd a man and a woman sat back down and allow others to leave. He was a burly Aussie with short hair and a thin beard. Next to him was his glamourous wife.
“See, I told you you would like it.” She nudged him and patted his arm.

“Yeah, ok, but it was only the sword fighting and blood I liked.” Chris joked.

“You say that, but you were totally hanging on the words of that lead…” she looked down at her playbill. “Tom Hiddleston. I am totally sure you were crying when he was!” she teased him.

He rubbed his eyes and then tried to man up. “I just had dust in my eyes.” He stood up and assisted his lovely wife. “But yeah. He is good.”

“Yeah, nice body too!” she joked, knowing he noticed too.

“I wonder if he has done any screen work?”

“You thinking of hiring him?” the walked down the stairs and the light began to get brighter.

“Well, he would be good, we do a lot of blue screen stuff, and this stage acting to things that aren’t there would be a necessary skill that he would have in spades.” Chris was convincing himself. He smiled and they walked out the door. Of the stage to the foyer.

“Well, the night is still young, shall we go get some beers and a feed?”

“you know the way to my heart!” Chris laughed and kissed her cheek.


Tom showered quickly and took one last look into the mirror and gelled his hair. He slipped on his jacket and headed out to meet his friend waiting in the foyer. The cast headed to a nearby pub and the shouts were thick and fast.

They had been only in the pub a couple of hours but they had drunk more than should be consumed in six. They were all loud, singing and cheering. Tom’s tie had quickly become a headband and he didn’t know where he put his jacket.

On the other side of the pub Chris and Elsa had finished dinner and had been talking and drinking for the last 30 minutes. Chris kept turning his head to the sounds coming from the other room. Elsa could see he was distracted.

“Darling, did you want to go drink with loud party people?”

“No. no, I’m having a good time with you.” he patted her hands.

“You’re a terrible liar. Look, I’m going to head home, I was mean to be back a little while ago. The kids should be in bed.” she looked down at her watch. “well its 10 now.” she stood up and kissed his cheek. “I will see you in the morning ok?”

“Ok.” he stood up and escorted her to the pay point. He paid the bill and kissed the back of her hand. “I will not get too drunk, but then again, these brits don’t know how to drink like a red blooded Aussie!”

“Good night darling!” They both gave cute little waves. They had been married for five years but still had that newlywed feeling.


Chris went back inside and decided he would go for a piss first. He stood and the urinal and looked down at his fat uncut cock as he began to piss. He didn’t notice the room was dark and empty. The sounds of the bar were incredibly muffed in here. It gave Chris time to think. He had drunk a bit tonight, but nowhere as much as it would take to get drunk, plus he had eaten a big meal.

The loud sounds of the bar suddenly could be heard. The door swung open and then the sound was gone again as it closed. Tom giggled and stumbled over to the urinal. He pulled open his pants and pushed them down a bit further than necessary. He held his cock but didn’t really go. Tom was giddy and looked over to the stream from his neighbour. He glanced at the heavy penis then up at its owner.

Tom stumbled forward and placed his hand on the wall to steady himself. He then quickly looked back at himself as he began to piss. Chris watched the man to his left out of the corner of his eye. He was clearly wasted. Chris smirked to himself.

Tom hummed to himself as he finished. He tried to stow himself. A little uncoordinated he eventually managed. Chirrs turned when he was done and confidently strode towards him. Tom stumbled back and he leaned against the wall, drunk, confused and giggling.

“You were in that play, weren’t you?” Chris calmly whispered.

“yep!” Tom chuckled. His face was red.

Chris moved closer and placed his hand on the wall next to Tom’s head. Tom was so drunk he didn’t recognise the man before him. Despite seeing all this non-porn films and his TV shows. He had seen one of his pornos, but deleted it from his hard drive when he found himself wanking of him and not the woman he was fucking.

Tom mostly deleted it because he was in denial that he also liked men. Out of some subconscious instinct he reached forward and found Chris had not zipped up his pants and his cock was easily accessed. Tom moaned and then began to softly tug.

Chris gripped Tom’s wrist and leaned in. “You would do better with your mouth.”

Tom giggled and went to go to his knees but he was too drunk to be effective. He slumped to the floor and then passed out. Chirrs smirked and fixed his pants. He leaned down and pulled Tom to his feet. He easily carried him out to the taxi rank and helped him into a black cab. Chris rummaged through Tom’s wallet and got the address of where he was staying.

He then directed the driver to take them.


Chris told the cab to walk Tom to his door and helped him inside his little apartment. He could tell that Tom was not doing so well. He placed Tom in his bed and took off his shoes.

Chris looked around the merger apartment and saw the pile of bills on the kitchen counter. “overdue, past due…. Oh Tom, you are a talented man, you are wasted in the theatre.”

Chris closed the door and took the cab back to his place.


The following day Chris sat in his high-rise corner office and stared out over the city. He tapped his pen as he thought. He looked up at his cabinet full of industry awards. He then looked down at a script he just finished writing with a good friend.

“Yeah.” Chris plonked the script down on his large oak desk and began to type up a letter. He printed it and hand signed it. He then walked out to his personal assistant.

“Good morning Sir.”

“Clara, can you mail this job offer to Tom Hiddleston?” He handed her a card with Tom’s address on it.

“Oh is he going to be in your new series?”

“Yeah I think he would be perfect.” Chris then returned to his office.