“What the hell were you thinking?”
Kara dropped off what was left of the cargo plane with DEO agents standing by. Without giving Lena a chance to give her opinion she was back in the air with Lena in her arms, touching down on her penthouse balcony within minutes.
Kara usually made a point to be gentle with Lena, to approach her with caution after traumatic events. But tonight she almost lost her. And it started when Lena decided to take care of a problem on her own, again. So tonight she was right behind Lena as she entered her home, being gentle the last thing on her mind.
“You can’t keep doing this, Lena! Do you want to go to prison? Do you want to die?”
Kara tries to steady herself, she knows she’s a little out of line. Looking at Lena it’s obvious she’s still rattled. She should be comforting her, not scolding her.
Taking a few breaths does little to keep her emotions in check, abruptly swinging from accusatory to pleading.
“I - I can't lose you, Lena,” holding back seems stupid in light of what they just went through.
Lena's mind had been somewhere else up until this point; jumbled with the night's events. But Kara’s words have her snapping back to the present.
“What?” It’s the only word Lena has at the moment.
“I can’t lose you.” Kara goes for the simple repeat, but knows Lena is asking more.
“No - I, heard you.” Lena’s brow is knitted in confusion, searching Kara’s face for an answer, “Supergirl - I,” Lena realizes how close they are and takes a step back, “I don’t know what you mean.” It doesn’t nearly cover the avalanche of thoughts suddenly raining down in her head.
Kara’s hands are uselessly held in the air begging Lena to understand, an equally perplexed expression on her face.
“You, don’t know?”
Words start tumbling now.
“That I’m Supergirl?”
“What the hell are you talking about? Of course I know!”
“No, Lena, it’s - it’s me, Kara… I thought, you knew.”
Lena just blinks at her. Staying silent.
“I’m sorry Lena. I thought you knew,” Kara repeats herself again. The high of the rescue still very much pumping through her veins, she begins to pace.
“I mean that’s not a good excuse. I should’ve told you myself anyways, but if I told you officially then I’d have to tell - well - other people that you knew. Then tonight happened and if I had lost you without telling you - I don’t know what I would’ve done, Lena - I can’t even think about that. Please, please don’t do that again, come to me when you think you can take care of something yourself. I realize I’m not in a position to tell -”
“Kara!” Lena cuts her off and Kara’s attention snaps back to her, “It’s - it’s okay. I think, maybe, I did know.”
Lena slumps against the nearest wall, the mess of her mind zoning in on something Kara’s said; she can’t focus on anything else.
“What do you mean, if you had lost me?” It feels like a dumb question, she understands the words, but there’s an emotion behind it, she needs to know she’s not imagining it.
Kara faces her, a lot calmer than a second ago.
“You mean so much to me. I held back because, well, a lot of reasons,” She gives a small little half smile and Lena has to return it, thinks she knows Kara’s alluding to the mess that is their lives.
Kara’s encouraged by the response and steps closer until she’s in Lena’s space again, “It was enough to be your friend, as long as I was there to support you.”
Kara’s hand comes up to brush hair out of Lena’s face, behind her ear, watching her fingers as they settle on the side of her neck.
“But after tonight. It’s not enough. You told me to let you go...”
Kara’s throat constricts at the memory and she has to look off to the side, at nothing, biting the inside of her mouth, wondering if maybe enough things have been revealed tonight, maybe she should just stop here. But then she feels Lena’s hands on her hips, drawing her attention back. She looks to Lena and knows she can’t hold it in any longer.
“I love you, Lena. I could never let go.”