"Ben, I said I didn't want to right now, knock it off.."
"Come on, Rey, you know how stressed I have been lately and it's the only way I feel better!"
"If you have to give me reasons to have sex with you when I've already said no, you're doing it wrong."
The resulting blow made Rey even more acquainted with the fist and wall she had come to know only so well.
Rey was shaken awake by the solid, dark form of her best friend. Taking a moment to herself, she shook with sweaty chills thinking of the last time she had a nightmare about Ben. It had been years, nearly 3 come to think of it, since she had been graced with such a malicious reminder of her past.. It had been when she and Jess had finally gotten their shit together that all of those bad reminders floated away, since she was so perfectly happy with Jess.
Jess, her Jessika Pava, that she is marrying today. Holy hell.
"Rey," Finn's soothing voice crooned as he rubbed circles in the shivering girl's back, "baby are you ok?"
Nodding, Rey gave herself a few more seconds of breathing so she wouldn't completely panic at the thought of both her Ben dream and marrying Jess. She reminded herself that Ben lived in Washington now, cleaned up his act a bit, and is actually in a steady relationship. Once he got out of jail after the assault, and the restraining order was made so strong it was basically a force field, Rey and Jess were happily left to their own vices and didn't have to worry about him ever again.
"Yea, Finn," Rey finally replied with as much muster as she could, "just a bad dream. I get them when I'm nervous and when Jess isn't around. This just happened to have both of those."
"Oh sweetheart, what is there to be nervous about?" Finn questioned as he walked back to the hotel table to grab the coffee for Rey and the tea for himself. "You're marrying the love of your life today, you shouldn't be worried at all."
Rey couldn't find a proper way to reply, because Finn was right. She never questioned for a second her love for Jess, and she knew she wanted to marry her more than anything, it's just a weird kind of nervous. One no one but someone who is about to get married can feel. As she drank her coffee, not doctored as well as Jess does it but made with love by Finn nonetheless, Rey thought back on every big and small moment that meant the most to her with Jess and by the time the cup was done, she was tranquil as can be. She was marrying the love of her life today, and she was so damn happy that there wasn't any more room for nerves.
A few miles down the road, at a separate hotel, Jess woke leisurely and unencumbered by the panic that Rey woke to, having had her panic session a few days ago at her final dress fitting. Surrounded by her mom and a few obscure Aunts, Jess could only think about whether she was making Rey happy enough, if maybe she hadn't given her enough. It took a while, no one knowing how to console her, but Jess finally came around. Rey was a happy person in general, but Jess knew deep down that together they were the happiest. Not to boast, but once she got her head out of her ass, she knew she gave Rey everything she wanted and more, there was no question their love for one another. So all she had to do was wake up, get pampered, and put a wedding band on that perfect finger connected to her beautiful, perfect girl she's going to get to call her wife later. Life was perfect.
It was a slow morning for both girls. Wanting to stay semi-traditional, they opted to stay away from each other the night before and the day of the wedding. The warm, September, LA morning shone brightly for them as they both picked at their breakfasts and started to get ready for the big day.
Rey, the more emotional of the duo, had made it the entire day without crying until Uncle Ray, that sweet man, walked into her room so he could take her to the wedding.
"Oh my girl," Ray choked out when he took in how serene Rey looked in her dress. With lacy sleeves and a tight bodice, hair done up loosely to sit in an organized messy bun on the nape of her neck, she was the picture of elegance and perfection. The look of pride and adoration written so plainly on Ray's face was enough to make anyone burst into tears, but it was when he pulled an envelope out of his jacket pocket that Rey totally lost it.
Tears falling unashamedly down her perfect face, Rey took the envelope with shaking hands.
"I don't think I need to say where this is from?" Ray huffed out with a watery breath, trying to pull himself together.
Rey just shook her head and flipped it over, reading the 1/3 with a humongous grin. God damn does she love Jess. She's going to marry her so fucking hard it's not even funny.
Opening it, her grin and tears only grew and flowed heavier as she read it:
"My beautiful girl, my soon to be wife, today we seal this bond for life. I've got so much to tell you, but it'll have to wait. Meet me on the aisle, please don't be late."
Once she calmed down a bit, patted away her tears, and gotten her makeup fixed back up, Rey took Ray's offered arm and walked out of the room. She had a date that she couldn't miss, not that she could ever want to. Not when Jess was there waiting.
Nerves reigned in, shaky legs cooperating for that moment, Rey and Ray turned the corner to walk towards Jess and her dad. And hot damn, if Ray didn't have a hold of her, Rey would have fainted right then and there at the sight of Jess looking more drop dead gorgeous than she had ever seen her. It was only when Ray shook her that she realized she had stopped dead in her tracks, but couldn't be bothered by anything but the smirk on the perfect face of Jess right in front of her.
"Hey beautiful," Jess breathed strongly, linking her arm with Rey's.
"Hi," Rey whispered back, overwhelmed by he love for this girl next to her, washing away any nerves she had before.
"Rey!" Jess called with a laugh from behind her wife. Her wife! "Rey, come help me pee, please?" Jess finished as she walked up to the other girl, looking drunk and beautiful and cute as ever as she held up most of her dress and bounced around like she was about to pee her pants.
Traditionally it is the duty of the Maid of Honor to hold the brides dress while she pees, but since Finn and Poe were the girls' Maids of Honor, that wasn't going to happen. This was perfectly fine for Rey, she had only just been sitting there reminiscing about the past few hours of perfection.
The wedding had gone on without a hitch, being short and sweet and full of laughs and love. Jess and Rey had laughed together at Ray balling his eyes out, mumbling something about his beautiful girls. Standing up there, hearing the minister tell the story of their life and love, had put a blanket of utter peace and love on the girls which would never fall or wash off. There weren't words Rey could find to express how she felt walking back down that aisle with her wife, finally being able to call herself "Mrs. Pava."
"Hey, Pava, you with me?" Jess asked with a little nudge to Rey's shoulder.
Pava. Rey Pava. What a great sound.
"Sorry, Jess," Rey replied with a smile, "just thinking about everything from today." Rey's final thought before hiking up Jess's dress was about the amazing lemon pound cupcakes that she proudly destroyed nearly 7 of before dinner. She was the bride after all. She did what she wanted. She was brought out of her reverie by an envelope sticking out of Jess's panties.
"Hurry up and take that out, it's uncomfortable as hell."
Rey laughed as she took out the envelope marked "2/3" and began opening it.
"Maybe if you would just hand me these instead of..." Rey had started before Jess threw her a 'not this shit again' look, enhanced by numerous shots of tequila. "I just want to surprise you and be cute," Jess argued before Rey could finish.
"You are very cute, Jess, and I love your surprises," Rey acquiesced, knowing there was no use arguing when Jess had tequila. Giving in, she read the letter while Jess peed.
'You look so beautiful in that dress,
You make my life so complete.
How about in 10 minutes we meet
And fly away from here?
I want you to myself, naked.
And to make your hair a mess.'
Folding up the letter and smiling, Rey started to back away, thinking of how fast she could call up the getaway car. "Should we tell anyone we're leaving?"
"It's an open bar, Rey," Jess replied with a smirk. "No one will know we're gone."
With that, Rey was gone. She made it to the car in 5 minutes after grabbing some more cupcakes and finding Finn to say goodbye. To no surprise, Jess was already waiting with bottle of champagne in her lap. They toasted their marriage and had drank the whole bottle by the time they got to the airport. With both being quite good and drunk now, they were asleep in their seats before their jet even took off..
Jess woke up first to a soft light coming through her window feeling surprisingly less hungover than she thought she would be. After a few groggy seconds of wondering where she was or what year she might be in, she pushed the glowing button for some service.
"Hello, Mrs. Pava," a soft, sweet voice spoke from behind the front curtain that had been pulled for privacy and darkness. "My name is Lily, how can I be of service?"
"Can I get some tea and honey for myself," Jess began with a sleepy stretch, "and some coffee and cream for my wife when she wakes up?"
"Absolutely, Mrs. Pava. I'll bring some Advil for you both as well," the attendant replied with a smile and wink. It's so nice to have flight attendants that know what to do.
"Oh, and Lily?"
"Where the hell are we?" Jess questioned as she gazed out of her small window to the view of a perfect sunrise.
"We are starting our decent into Korea, Mrs. Pava."
"Holy hell," was Jess's only reply. Lily understood, smiled again, and walked away. She and Rey had slept for nearly 14 hours. Not that she minded, since flying could get boring as fuck, but god damn. Deciding not to wake her, Jess just drank in the sleeping form of her wife. She couldn't help but think about how amazingly lucky she was to land this little slice of perfection. She was so happy she could scream, but that might scare everyone on board and wake up Rey. Instead she just sighed, feeling happy and thankful for the 3-week honeymoon they were about to finally go on to some tiny remote island in the Philippines. Three weeks, alone, on a beach, with Rey? That sounds like perfection.
"I don't want to leave," a very sunburned Rey said to Jess, pouting very cutely as she packed up the remainder of her bathing suits. The tiny charter plane that would be taking them back to the main island would be there in about an hour and Rey could only think about how three weeks had passed so damn quickly.
"I don't either," Jess agreed, zipping up her suitcase and placing it at the front door. Their honeymoon had been absolutely serene. Three weeks of being completely alone besides the weekly cleaning and food service. All they had done was lie around in the sun, eat exotic foods they don't have in New York, and have amazing, loud sex.
"Hey, Rey?" Jess said with a mischievous grin.
"How about we say one final goodbye to that sweet bed?"
"I like the way you think, Mrs. Pava."
"Let's just go to Tahoe for the weekend," Jess sighed as she slumped onto the bed next to her wife. Once they had gotten back from their honeymoon they had been on a two month press tour for the last movie in their trilogy. They were use to lengthy press tours but this one had been more exhausting then usual because of their recent marriage which had their fans practically foaming out of their mouths in obsession with the girls. It had been nonstop questions about their lives together and now that it was over, Jess just needed to get away and be alone with Rey.
"Oh thank god," Rey exclaimed, rolling over to look at Jess. "I was thinking the same thing! I feel like we haven't been in so long."
"That's what I like to hear, Mrs. Pava," Jess replied with a smile, jumping out of bed and heading towards the closet. Rey didn't know it yet, but Jess definitely already had this all planned. She still had one envelope left from their wedding to give to Rey.
"Get up and pack then," Jess called from the closet, getting down their luggage and snow gear. "We've got nothing else to do, so let's go!"
"Right now?" Rey laughed, "are you crazy? It's like, 2:30 in the morning." Besides thinking Jess was crazy, she knew when her wife had decided on doing something that she shouldn't really question it. So she got up and joined Jess in their massive closet.
"I'm crazy for you, Rey" was Jess's only reply with a smacking, wet kiss to the girl's cheek. Jess booked the next flight out, feeling thankful that they have a lot of fucking money and first class always has seats open, while Rey packed for them. Jess was an adult and could perfectly well pack for herself, but she had to admit Rey was better at it so she let her do it.
"Ready?" Rey asked once both suitcases were packed with essentials for the snowy Tahoe they soon would be in.
Rey had to admit that this was the best time to get through the airport without being hassled by the paparazzi. It was nearing 4 in the morning by the time they made it through security and the sleepy terminal made it for minimal interaction with adoring fans.
"We should really bring Poe and Finn with us one of these times," a sleepy Rey grumbled as their car rolled up to the snowy, crunchy front of their usual cabin.
"Remember the last time we shared a house with those two?" Jess retorted, thinking back to Italy when she promised to herself to never been near the boys at night again. Rey seemed to be thinking the same thing because she winced and groaned, "yea, better not."
"Exactly," Jess laughed, pulling the key to the cabin out of her pocket, pushing it into her wife's ungloved hand. "Here, Rey. Go inside and we will get the luggage," she finished, nodding towards the driver.
Rey was too sleepy to argue or to see the proud smirk on Jess's face. Pulling on her parka before opening the car door, Rey stumbled out into the frosty, frigid morning air and hurried towards the cabin. She was so consumed with the thought of turning on the heater and starting the Keurig that she didn't see what was engraved on the key Jess had handed her.
Rey had cranked the heater, started some tea for her wife, and was stopped dead in her tracks by the sight of a large envelope resting regally next to her box of k-cups. The envelope was labeled ‘3/3,’ but also had “do not open without Mrs. Jessika Pava present” written on it.
Rey just laughed. Like she would ever open an envelope without Jess there. She was very curious though, since this was the biggest envelope she had ever received from Jess in all their time together. She wasn’t kept waiting long, thankfully, because her gorgeous wife pushed herself through the front door with both suitcases and that big, perfect, knee weakening smile smack upon her face.
“Did you find it?” Jess asked loudly, basically bouncing with excitement. She brushed off Rey who had run over to help with the luggage, “oh never mind these.” Jess was getting pushy with her excitedly and ushered Rey back into the kitchen. “I’m here now, open it!”
The previously sleepy Rey was now wide awake, feeding off her wife’s abounding excitement. She could totally be an ass right now and fuck with Jess, but she was way too curious about what was in the envelope that she didn’t wait even a second more before she ripped it open.
“No,” Rey whispered after what seemed like an eternity to Jess. After she had excitedly tore open the envelope, Rey had gone silent and showed little emotion once she began to read the contents, making Jess a little afraid of whether she did the right thing or not.
“Jessika,” Rey breathed shakily. Ok, Jess just got Jessika’d which could either mean she did something very right or she did something very wrong. “Jess are you serious?” Rey asked with a stronger voice this time. “You’re not fucking with me, are you?”
Rey sort of looked like a little kid that was just told she was going to Disneyland for the first time, part excited and part afraid it was all a joke. Jess realized that even after all this time together, Rey still had trouble being able to accept that people want to do stuff for her. Her troubled childhood still lurked around in her head, making her afraid of the good things that can happen to her.
“Look at the key I gave you, Rey.” Jess gave as her only reply with a soft, understanding smile.. She wrapped a tender arm around her wife’s waist as Rey lifted the key from her pocket with a trembling hand, letting out a watery huff when she finally saw what was engraved on top.
Damn near all of the air in Jess’s lungs were knocked out from the force of Rey’s crushing hug. “You are the craziest, most amazing, best thing of my life Jess Pava,” Rey finally laughed out. “How? Why?”
“Get yourself some coffee and join me on our couch and I’ll tell you everything,” Jess replied with a kiss, grabbing her tea and walking over to the fluffy couch by the fire.
Once Rey had sat down, Jess dove into the whole story. She had gotten a call about a month before their wedding from the owner of the cabin they always rented. From the very first time they had been here, Jess let the owners know that if they ever wanted to sell it that they need to call her first. For the years that they had been coming to this cabin, Jess had constantly and annoyingly reminded the sweet owners of her interest in buying it from them, but they never seemed to want to let it go no matter how much she offered to buy it for. They were an older couple without children, so Jess had figured that persistence would eventually help her win once the owners grew older. She was sadly right. She got the call in late July saying that the owner’s husband had passed away and the widow was too tired and frail to manage the estate and properties they owned without him. Jess had flown Poe out to meet with the widow and go over all of the paperwork that needed to be done and bought the cabin then and there.
“I just wanted to be here when I told you that the cabin is ours,” Jess explained as to why she kept it a secret so long. “I know it’s stupid and been so long but…”
She was cut off by her wife jumping on top of her. “Yes it was stupid,” Rey interrupted, pinning Jess down. “But I still love you. Now can you shut up so we can christen our new vacation house?”
“I like the way you think, Pava.”
“You know,” Jess said sleepily after they christened, and rechristened, and rerechristened the cabin, “they owned some other properties too that she wants to sell now.”
“We’re pretty rich, Jess,” Rey replied as she snuggled into the bed, “but if you keep buying expensive ass houses, we won’t be anymore.”
“Like there’s a nice townhouse in London,” Jess pushed on, not needing any of Rey’s negativity right now.
“We’ll talk about it,” was Rey’s only sleepy reply before both girls drifted off into a much needed nap.
Jess woke to the sound of tiny, pattering, socked feet and loud whispers of two little voices trying to sound quiet. She kept her eyes closed and listened to the whispers and feet marching ever closer to the door separating the early risers and her sleeping wife. Rey liked to sleep a little later these days, and Jess was about to get up and go coral their twins in a different room when Rey spoke up.
“Let them come,” her wife whispered truly, sounding more awake than was normal for this frosty morning. “We can scare them before they try and scare us.”
“I like the way you think, Pava,” Jess replied with a huge smile before mustering all of her acting skills to pretend she was deeply asleep.
Only seconds later the door creeped open and right when each twin got to either side of the bed, Rey and Jess sat up and grabbed the now noisy boys into a pile of screams and tickles.
“Mummy stop!” cried a little voice that shook with laughed, sounding like he wanted the exact opposite from his mom. Both girls stopped after a while though, as two little boys being tickled tended to have a lot of accidents.
“Now why do you two think it’s so funny to wake us up?” Rey questioned, brushing back the curly bronze hair that had fallen into her sweet son’s face. The small, delicious boy who was now so innocently curling up onto her lap. Little devils.
“At least their sister can’t walk yet,” Jess joked, “soon enough we’re going to be outnumbered!”
“Mum,” a little British voice lilted, bringing the girls back to their wriggly sons who obviously want something their mischievous little hands can’t get to.
“Yes, my little loves?”
“We’re hungry,” the twins said in unison.
Rey and Jess had always known that they wanted to adopt, Rey’s upbringing being what it was, but they never imagined they would get twins. The adoption process was lengthy, and they had been on the list for quite some time when they had finally gotten a call. Twin boys, no more than 3-weeks old had been left at the hospital Rey stayed at after her incident long ago with Ben. It must have been fate, the girls decided, when they learned that their favorite nurse, Katie, had been the one who found the boys. Right then they decided there was no other option for them. They had all the means to love and support twins so they accepted immediately, and went in the next day to meet their now sons, who were both so small and slightly malnourished, giving both girls intense, motherly aches as they watched their boys in tiny incubators. Neither of them spoke for a while, just watching them breathe stronger than one might think from such small babies, listening to all of the beepings around them from machines working tirelessly to keep all of the babies healthy and alive. Jess was the first to speak.
“Do they have names?” She asked with a croaking voice. She was surprised by how fiercely protective she felt already, and she wasn’t even completely certain that they would be theirs. She had so many questions. What happened? How could someone leave them like that? Where are the parents? Can her and Rey actually do this?
“They do,” Katie started, “and there was a letter wrapped up with them as well,” she finished, handing it to Rey. With Jess standing next to her, she opened the letter.
To my boys, this is the hardest thing I have ever done, giving the two of you up. Not even giving birth alone, without medication, could compare to the pain of leaving you, but I just want to give you two the chance at a better life than what you ever would have had with me. I named you Samuel and Louis, after my brothers who passed away when we were kids. Sam has a freckle on his left hand, and my Little Lou has a birthmark on his right knee. My perfect boys, I love you more than any words will ever be able to describe. You two will do amazing things.
To whoever takes my boys as their sons, thank you. You can name them whatever you want, if you so wish. All I ask is that you promise me that you’ll love them every second of every day. I know I will.
Reading the letter over and over, the girls only shared a look before giving their answer.
“So what do we have to do?” Rey asked Karen, their adoption agent.
“You two stay here with the boys and I’ll get the paper work,” Karen had replied and left the room.
“I can’t leave you guys in here alone with them,” Katie began, “but I’ll take you to the family room to discuss things. Just ask for me if you have any questions.”
The days that followed were the most exhausting and amazing the two girls had ever experienced between all the paperwork, feeding, changing, and learning all they could the girls were sending Poe and a crew of trusted individuals to buy absolutely everything needed for two new babies. Poe had been amazing, so by the time Jess and Rey carried in two fast-asleep 5-week old boys, they needed only place them neatly, swaddled into the pack-n-play next to their bed. Since they were on formula, the twins slept for pretty decent amounts of time. Rey and Jess were so bone tired they could have easily sleep for 20 hours straight, but instead just sat on the edge of the bed and watched the patterned rise and fall of their sleeping sons’ tiny chests, making sure they kept them breathing.
“We’re moms,” Jess whispered.
“We’re moms,” Rey nodded in reply. It all had felt so surreal, but there they were. Two weeks ago, when they left their bed after they got that call, they stayed in the hotel next to the hospital to be as close as possible to their boys. Two weeks ago they left their apartment as a family of two, and returned as a family of four. Now there are stacks of diapers, tiny baby clothes, and just insane amounts of infant paraphernalia that it was starting to become more and more overwhelming. Poe really took the the ‘unlimited budget’ thing to heart. Bless him.
They fell into motherhood quite naturally, being aided by the fact that their new boys were easy and mellow babies. Even when they moved to London for a new round of movies (or for Finn, as he likes to think) the boys just went with the flow and acclimated to life out there. After a year with the twins, the girls were ready to start the lengthy adoption process again. They knew it would be more difficult, being in the UK but adopting from the US, but they pushed on. After some time in London, they got a call again.
This time it was only one baby, but she was left at what the girls now call ‘their hospital.’ The little girl was only days old, and unlike the boys, was left without a note. A few different families were contacted but none of them wanted a baby who was left on the curb. What was wrong with her, they all asked. Jess and Rey had laughed at that, thinking about their beautiful boys in the next room, and said they would be there tomorrow to start the paperwork. Their new girl, their little Miss Kate, was accepted into their home and lives and loved so immensely it was insane. In no time she had her older brothers and moms wrapped around her stubby little fingers, little fingers which now rest upon her cheek and brought Rey out of her reverie and back to the present.
“Mummy,” Sammy whispered questioningly at his mom who finally blinked and came back.
“Sorry, kiddo,” Rey laughed, ruffling thick, unkept curls. “I’m here. You’re hungry. Let’s go make breakfast. Lou, you coming?”
“Yes!” Cried the other boy, identical to his brother so much so they to the outside observer they could only tell the difference with birthmarks and freckles. Dive bombing off the bed like crazy 4-year olds do, the boys lead the way. “Let’s go!”
“Jess,” Rey smiled to her wife, “I got this if you get Kate.”
And that was their life. And it was perfect.