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Silent Move

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Yagami Souchirou's furious face was red and progressing towards a rather unhealthy-looking shade of purple. He pointed at the wide-eyed detective who was lazily licking a triple-scoop of strawberry ice cream, barefoot on the couch. "Ryuzaki, you CAN'T be serious! You want to put cameras in my HOME?"


L licked some dripping ice cream from his hand and took a big bite. Speaking with his mouth full, "Yeth, thas what I inthend." He swallowed, turning his saucer-like eyes up to the police Chief. "Yagami-san, I understand your discomfort, but I'm afraid it is necessary." He stood up, licking and pacing. I've underestimated Kira thus far. They are far more brilliant than I've given them credit for. "Raye Penbar was investigating the Yagami family and the Kitamura family, and now he's dead and his fiancee Naomi Misora is missing." How did you find her before I did, Kira?


Souchirou's finger wavered in the air and slowly fell to his side. "So you believe....that someone in one of those families may be Kira?!" A vein on his forehead pulsed as he huffed, "Ryuzaki, that's impossible!"


L stopped his pacing and brought a finger to his lip, looking up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Improbable? Yes. Impossible? Definitely not." He felt the cold ice cream running down his hand again and slurped it loudly. In fact, there's an excellent chance.


The team stared at him impatiently, not that L noticed. Matsuda scratched his head, "Ryuzaki....well, I'm sure the Chief is concerned for the privacy of his family. You know....." He blushed a little. "He's got a wife and daughter."


L ate the last of his ice cream and dumped the paper wrapping in the trash. "In that case, the task of monitoring the Yagami household will fall to just Yagami-san and myself." To Souchirou, "Does that seem a reasonable compromise?" He bit his thumb waiting for the Chief's response. It doesn't matter what you say, I'll do it either way. But it would be nice if you went along.


Souichirou gave him a glare. "I suppose if you feel you must do it, that is an acceptable compromise." He crossed his arms, "But NO cameras in the bathrooms. Is that clear, Ryuzaki?"


L got a serious look behind his thumb. "Of course Yagami-san." But of course I will tell Wedy to put them there anyway. He watched the older man relax a little. I don't intend to let Kira hide from me anywhere.


Aizawa dumped his uneaten ice cream cone in the trash with an annoyed sigh. "Won't the Yagami family notice if the Chief isn't keeping to his usual schedule? He goes home every night and comes back here in the morning."


L crouched in his chair, placing his hands on his knees. "We'll go in shifts then. I'll watch at night, and Yagami-san will watch here during business hours."


The Chief nodded reluctantly. "If this might help us catch Kira or eliminate suspects, fine. Its a sacrifice we'll need to make."


L smiled a little, trying not to seem overly pleased with himself for managing to smooth all this over. "We'll start surveillance tonight." You won't escape me, Kira, and before long I'll be watching your execution.




Light came in through the front door of his house, a little later from school than usual as the train had been late. But to his surprise, no one was home yet. He bounded up the stairs to the upstairs hall and stopped short in front of the door. The handle of my door's been moved. Its not in the position I left it in this morning. But the paper's still there in the door jamb....


Ryuk was floating beside him and noticed Light pause in the hall. "Hyuk, what's wrong?"


Light gave Ryuk a meaningful look but remained silent as he visually checked for the telltale pencil lead in the hinge. Broken! Someone's definitely been inside. I should assume the worst, knowing what L is capable of.


He opened the door to his room and moved around inside as if nothing was amiss. The desk's not in ashes so they must not have found the death note. That means they were here for another reason, probably to set up surveillance. How on earth did my father agree to this?!


Ryuk was dogging his steps, annoyed at being ignored, "Light-o! Hey!" He waved his arms wildly in Light's face, his feathers bristling out in irritation. "Aren't you gonna get to work on those names we saw on the news in the train?"


Light continued to ignore him and stepped back out of his room, heading down the stairs and out the front door. Ryuk, you are truly an idiot.


Ryuk did flips in front of his face, "Talk to me Light-o!" He crossed his arms and pouted down the street behind Light. "You're making me angry."


When they were a little ways down the street, Light turned to a steaming mad Ryuk. Its probably safe to speak now. He kept his voice low anyway, "Ryuk....the safeguards I had to tell if someone went into my room were triggered. I think I may be under surveillance. Probably wiretaps as well as cameras." Which means I'm under suspicion. Has L connected me to Penbar somehow?


Ryuk's eyes went wide. "Ohhhhhhh. I get it. Thought you were givin' me the silent treatment, hyuk. Not a good idea when gods of death are involved, I'll add." He chuckled a little. "So, what are you gonna do about that?"


Light held a finger to his lips like 'shhhh' as he walked towards the bookstore on the corner and stepped inside. I need some cover. I need to seem like just an ordinary teenage guy and no one remotely suspicious. That those safeguards hid something more mundane. He browsed through the selection of girly magazines, picking out 3 at random. But his eyes wandered. Well, while I'm here. He leafed through the boy magazines too and picked up a particularly naughty looking one called "Submission" filled with attractive guys photographed in sub roles. Fuck...I really shouldn't buy this. But I'm Kira, and Kira shouldn't be afraid.


Ryuk chuckled behind him, "So, that's the way the cookie crumbles, eh Light-o? Wouldn't have pegged ya. Hyuk hyuk hyuk!"


Light glared at him and rolled all four magazines together, paying for them and a miniature wireless TV in a hurry and walking out the door with a brown paper bag. Gonna have to hide THAT one with my death note I think. God, my parents would absolutely freak. But he smiled to himself anyway, excited to look at it a little more closely when he was alone.


But Ryuk zoomed around him to remind Light that he was NEVER alone anymore. "So are the girlie ones the decoys or does the door really swing both ways Light?"


Light tightened his fist around the bag and hissed through clenched teeth, "None of your business Ryuk." Shinigami are truly irritating beings. The death note would be nearly perfect if it wasn't attached to HIM.


Ryuk dangled upside down, pretending to pout, "Awwww cmon, you can tell me. I see everything anyway so there's really no point in lying, hyuk."


Light's eyebrow raised, "Everything?" He looked up at the stupidly grinning shinigami. "So you could tell me where all the cameras in the house were?" I need to find some place safe. Just one place Ryuk.


Ryuk righted himself. Uh oh. "Err. That sounds like a lot of work." He stopped with Light in front of his house, looking up at it from the sidewalk.


"Well, it occurs to me you won't be able to eat any apples in the house until we know where those cameras are." He gave Ryuk a devious smile. Oh I'm going to get you to do it one way or another.


Ryuk let out a strangled, "Hyuk!" Then scratched his chin in concern. "I guess you're right. Ok, I'll find them. Might be interesting." And with that he shot towards the house, zooming around between rooms and making a mental catalog of where the cameras were. I'm still irritated at you Light-o; holding apples over my head to do your bidding, and being so secretive. You shouldn't toy with the feelings of immortals you know.


Light opened the door and heard his mom call to him, announcing dinner in 5 minutes. "Ok mom! I'll be down in a sec!" He went upstairs and into his room, putting the bag on his desk. Later. First the decoy, and if Ryuk can find me a safe place, I'll take a peek at the other one.




L was perched in his chair, sitting next to Souchirou, both gazing at the newly set up surveillance of the Yagami household. He had a plate of pink and green macaroons in front of him, which was mostly crumbs by now. L inhaled as the front door opened and Light stepped through it and called out to an empty house. He took a macaroon and stacked it atop another, not looking down. "Yagami-san is that your son?" He's...quite attractive...for a suspect.


Souchirou grunted an affirmative response, still feeling uncomfortable with the surveillance, but resigned to it. "Light's in his last year of high school. Top student in his school. In Japan, in fact." Souchirou beamed a little proudly.


Light. L shifted in his chair and stacked another macaroon, alternating pink with green. The top student in Japan is a suspect and the son of the police chief? Light, you are no ordinary teenager. "I see. And how old is he?" He tried to temper his interest, but was following Light on the screen without blinking. 


"He turned 18 a couple months ago." Light had stepped into his room, set his backpack down and left the room and house again, placing the piece of paper back in the door jamb. Souchirou's eyes narrowed at that. "Hmmmm, I've never noticed him do that before."


L shrugged, "Its normal for that age. I did the same thing for no apparent reason." Actually, I had my reasons, and I wonder if you do too Light. Another macaroon was added to the precarious tower.


Souchirou stood up. "I should be getting home, my wife will have dinner ready for us. You alright to take over? I can review any tapes later if you need."


No, I won't tear my eyes away from your son. "They'll be no need for that Yagami-san. Have a pleasant night with your family." Now get out of here. He grabbed a pink macaroon and shoved it into his mouth, crumbs falling like rain.


Souchirou sighed and gave him a backwards look, but stepped out the door of Kira HQ and headed home.


L looked around the monitor room. Everyone's gone. "Hmmmm....Yagami Light...." He dusted sugary crumbs from the front of his shirt and buzzed Watari. "Watari, I'm going upstairs, send the Yagami household feed up to my room."


"Understood, sir."


"And bring me up something to eat in a bit. And tea." I've got something interesting to watch.




During dinner, Light was bored but polite as usual, picking at his dinner until enough time had passed that he could go upstairs without being rude. But right before he was about to go, a special banner started scrolling underneath the soap opera his sister was watching.


She exclaimed excitedly, "Huh? What's this? This news bulletin says that the ICPO has decided to dispatch 1500 investigators to Japan to help with the Kira investigation. Wow!"


Light watched the text scroll across the screen. Clever L, but you won't get a reaction from me using the same trick as the Lind L. Tailor one. I'm more cautious now. He laughed easily, "1500 investigators? Why announce they are being sent rather than have them conduct their investigation in secret?" He pushed some food around his plate, smiling to himself. "Sounds like they are trying to shock Kira into outing himself." And you are probably listening to this right now, aren't you, L? But I can't help but taunt you a little. "This ploy is probably completely obvious to Kira."


Souchirou looked up from his dinner at that, but he said nothing, knowing better than to discuss the Kira case with his family.


Light stood up at the table, taking his plate over to the sink. He grabbed a particular bag of chips, his favorite brand, and headed upstairs. Ryuk flapped, or more accurately, dragged his wings behind Light to follow him up. Once they were upstairs, Light tossed the bag of chips onto the desk and flopped down on the bed next to an exhausted Ryuk. How long will you watch me, L?


"Li-light-o." He huffed and puffed, all out of breath from zooming around the house. "That L's got nearly every nook and cranny of this place covered. 64 cameras in all."


Light sighed in disappointment, but kept listening. He glanced towards his bathroom door, his own bathroom, questioning Ryuk. Bathrooms, too?


Ryuk considered. You want to take that magazine in there don't you? Well, there's cameras in there, but at this point I'm still a bit peeved at you...and, this might be"Nope. None in there that I saw." Hyuk hyuk hyuk.......a magazine won't get you in trouble for being Kira....and I'll stop you if you tried to do anything that would actually get you in deep shit...probably. As long as that was the most amusing option to take. I'm here to have fun too, Light-o, not save your ass.


Light grinned up at the ceiling. Thanks Ryuk. He went to his desk and opened the bag, taking out the girlie magazines and leaving the other one in the bag. He flopped down on the bed with the decoys and started to leaf through them as Ryuk chuckled beside him. Showtime L.



L was turning over in his mind Light's statements about the ICPO task force when he saw Light head up the stairs. So you think it would be obvious to Kira, do you Light? Is it obvious to you? He picked up a chocolate chip cookie and dunked it sloppily in his tall glass of milk, sloshing some onto his desk in the bedroom. He took a bite, not letting his eyes budge from the image of Light going to his desk and taking out a few magazine from a bag. What are those? The soggy cookie dripped onto his crouched knee as he made one camera zoom onto Light's magazine.


Whoa! He took another bite of the gooey cookie, surprised that he was feeling a little disappointed. Damn.


"So its girls for you Light." He dunked the cookie into the milk again, letting his chin plop into his hand. "Figures." Not that someone like you would ever look twice at me anyway. L ate the rest of the cookie, now wondering what the hell he was thinking anyway. Stay objective. Light's a suspect in the Kira case! A potential mass murderer. It doesn't matter if he's beautiful or likes girls or boys or....But he found himself a bit more uncomfortable in his crouch anyway. No. Don’t let yourself be compromised. He took a big sip of milk and peered at Light, and against his better judgement, half hoped he'd do something other than just look. Eh, not half hoping. Full on hoping. 


But Light just looked, tossing each aside in turn. You look bored, Light. If the ICPO bluff was obvious to you, have you deduced somehow you are being watched? Are you doing this....for show? Are you really that intelligent? Could you really be...Kira? He grabbed the whole plate of cookies and poured the glass of milk over them, overflowing the edges, but L didn't care, he just stuck his fingers in the soup of milk and dough and brought it to his lips, savoring that buttery sugar mess. And there go my hopes again.



Light couldn't take much more. Ugh, its been twenty minutes. Surely that's got to be enough to be convincing, right? Really he was thinking about that other magazine, wanting to dash into the bathroom with it and relieve all this built up...tension. But I've got work to do first. If criminals die while it appears I'm studying, and in no way watching the news, I should be cleared as Kira. He took the girlie mags and put them in his bookshelf cubby, hiding them badly, and pulled out his school textbooks from his bookbag and sat down at his desk. He cast Ryuk a furtive look.


"Hyuk, time to write some names there Light? How you gonna do it with that L watching you?"


Light smiled and laughed silently to himself, opening up the bag of chips and setting it to his left. He peered inside and saw the tiny TV screen inside that he'd hidden there earlier, invisible to any of L's cameras. He set up his textbook to his right and pretended to study, a piece of the death note under his homework. I'll solve equations with my right hand! And I'll write names with my left hand! He bit his lip to keep from blurting out a laugh, getting to work, both sides of his brain afire with dueling missions yet unified to one real purpose. Defeat L! Kill L!


He scribbled furiously, equations coming as easily as ever, and names rolling of his pen point as the news showed criminals' names and faces intermittently. He felt a sick thrill every time he wrote another name and sent a wish to the news station to tell him more names, more and more, ALL the names in the world, so he could write them here and now in front of L, and be innocent, so innocent, so beyond suspicion. A tiny giggle almost pushed past his lips but he took a chip instead and ate it, swallowing the laugh with the snack, crunching it triumphantly, wishing he could spit the crumbs into L's face! 


Finally the news and his homework were complete, and he crumpled the bag of chips and tossed it into the trash. 200 bucks in that trashcan. Well worth it to rub it in your face L. He stretched his arms behind his head and stood up, feeling satisfied with himself as he put his books back in his bag for school tomorrow. And he hovered over the desk. Over the magazine in the bag. Waiting for him. Just sitting there. Calling. Fuck. I need this. I feel so much exhilaration after writing those names, I bet I'll come hard as hell. I'm feeling like...taking a little risk. He looked over at Ryuk, giving him a look like ‘no way in hell you better follow me.’


Ryuk grinned, using a long blade from his fingernail to pick a bit of something from his jagged teeth. "Don't worry, I'll stay in here. Go have fun, hyuk hyuk." And I can see into the next room anyway. Duh, Light, I found those cameras for you didn't I?


And Light smirked at him, grabbed the bag, and went into his bathroom. 




L was leaning forward in his chair so steeply he was in danger of tumbling out of it, a finger hooked in his bottom lip as he stared at the screen. What's in that bag, Light? He picked up a sugar cube and dropped it in his tea, and took another and just ate it, crunching it loudly. He washed it down with some tea as his throat was feeling suddenly very dry as his curiosity got the better of him. I shouldn’t be...but I’m going to anyway, aren’t I? This is just professional interest. Yes.


He watched Light close and lock the bathroom door behind him and pull out another magazine, but it seemed different from the others. L moved to zoom in on the cover and gasped, tumbling out of the chair and spilling tea all over himself. "Shit!" He quickly scrambled back up to crouch in the chair and looked at the magazine cover again. 'Submission.' Men! So that's what you're really into Light. The others really were just for show! This means you knew someone was watching and are trying to appear like a normal teenager, and not...Kira. But he was unconsciously grinning so wide his jaw nearly hurt with the effort. He pulled his chair up to the desk so he wouldn't fall out again. Am I about to watch Kira jerk off? L felt himself getting hard in his baggy jeans, and pressed his erection, watching with a finger pushed to his bottom lip. I shouldn't feel this way....but...Light, are you the one? Kira? You may be a mass murderer...these feelings I have are perverse. 


On the screen, Light was standing in front of the full length mirror on the wall of the bathroom, alternating between looking at himself and down at the magazine. L clenched his fist on the desk when Light pulled off his shirt, and L couldn't zoom in fast enough. Oh.... L's eyes widened even more when Light turned to a page he must have really liked because he tore it out of the magazine and stuck it against the mirror with a lick of saliva across the glossy paper. L zoomed in on the page.... 


A young spiky-haired man, looking to be early twenties, had a ball gag in his mouth and was tied up to the nines in rope, completely restrained on his knees. His hard cock was straining against some kind of cage, locked with a small padlock, not that he would have been able to touch it anyway with his hands pulled behind his body. The man was looking up at the camera with pleading, submissive eyes, as if begging for release not from his restraints, but for sexual release. Saliva was dripping from around the ball gag and running down his lean chest, and both his nipples were pierced with bars, with a thin chain connecting between them. Essentially, a slave.


HOLY FUCK! Oh that's hot.....L's cock pulsed hard, his eyes darting between the picture and Light, who was now leaning against the mirror, unbuttoning his pants and pushing them down. L did the same, yanking his cotton shirt off and unbuttoning his jeans with lightning speed. Is this what you're into Light? You like them submissive? Of course Kira would. Yes, just collecting evidence, gathering data.....Light started to touch his chest, gazing at himself in the mirror, playing with his nipples and running a hand down his flat toned stomach. You're admiring yourself aren't you? Well that makes two of us. But of course, Kira would have a large ego. Narcissistic personality..... L's heart was beating hard and fast, watching Light's hands move slowly across his hips and down to his beautiful cock, teasing it harder. L's jaw was practically on the floor, his finger dropping from his mouth as he stared unblinking. And pretense fell away, replaced with a kind of lustful horror. I feel desire for Kira. 


Light reached to lightly touch the picture of the submissive slave with one hand, leaning close to the mirror and beginning to stroke himself in earnest. He whispered, "L...L...Kira will kill you." And L fell out of the chair again somehow. KIRA'S THINKING ABOUT ME!



Light stared into his own eyes in the mirror and then at the picture he'd chosen to be L, starting to stroke and build the pleasure. How I'd love to see you like this you bastard. Tied up and helpless, at my mercy. Light didn't know what L looked like and it didn't matter. You've already mindfucked me. I know your mind, and you know mine. Tonight, this is you. He spat into his hand and spread it across his cock, teasing the head while he spoke softly to the picture, imagining it was his nemesis he was taunting. You've tried to humiliate me in front of the world. In my own home. But I'll be the one who counts out your last breath.


He leaned against the mirror, turning to stare at the picture. "You think you have power over me." He closed his eyes, leaning his head back, lips parted. "But I'll murder you. I'll find your name and write you such a beautiful death, L." He sped up his stroking, smiling into the mirror evilly, whispering, "Oh I could make you do whatever I wanted before you die, L...." A soft moan. "...and I will...." He shuddered a little as his he rubbed the head, "I'll fuck you so hard you'll turn your back on everything....everyone...I'll make you crawl to Kira on your HANDS AND FUCKING KNEES L....." Light's eyes flew open as he felt anger flare with his arousal, and he snarled at the picture, "And after I've watched you beg for your pathetic life....I'll murder you...." He laughed into the mirror, amber eyes wide as he edged closer, panting hard against the mirror and fogging it with his warm breath. "I'll watch the light fade from your eyes...I'll feel your body go limp beneath me..."


He stepped back from the mirror and started jacking hard with both hands, forgetting himself, the wiretaps, forgetting everything but the beautiful, the perfect image of L crawling to Kira and him shoving a knife in his heart again and again. He moaned softly, "Die....Die....DIE....." 




And Light might've well shoved a knife in L's chest for the effect that he was having on him. L was panting hard at the computer screen, sitting normally in his chair as he never did, sucking on a large dildo and stroking himself as fast as he could. Oh Light...are you really Kira? Are you admitting it right here?! Or is this just part of your fantasy? Your fantasy of me.....L moaned around the dildo at that thought. I don’t care if this is wrong, I can’t look away.


He took the slick dildo and pushed it into himself, lips parted and gasping slightly as he fucked himself with it slowly at first and then faster. You'll never kill me, Light, but I can play along too. He scooted down in the chair, putting his legs up on desk on either side of the screen wild horses couldn't drag him away from in this moment. When Light started moaning 'Die' in the mirror, L moaned with him. I am that man tonight see me there and I am there. And L indulged in his own fantasy to mirror Light's. What would it be like to be at your mercy, Kira’s mercy, to have death so near? I'd crawl to you, I'd beg you, beg Kira to fuck me before ending me. L shut his eyes, getting close to orgasm. You're close too Light. I'll come when you do. Don't make me beg you before I've even met you.....


On the screen, Light grabbed the picture and crumpled it in his fist, leaning against the mirror again, mouth open, and his body shuddered as he came with a gasping moan against the mirror. L banged the dildo against his prostate and came too, whispering, "Kira...," shooting back against his chest as his toes curled. He panted through it, watching Light do the same against the mirror, their breathing slowing together. He pulled the dildo out and tossed it across the room, pulling his legs down and leaning over them weakly. And he saw Light step back from the mirror and wipe his cum off the mirror with the crumpled picture.


Light threw the ruined picture into the trash can with a laugh and pulled his clothes back on. Light stopped one more time to gaze into the mirror, and L swore he whispered, "I'm coming for you L."


And L pulled back into a naked crouch, and stared back at him, “Bring it.”

Chapter Text

Light stared out his classroom window, his chin propped in his hand, and watched Ryuk zoom around in the courtyard. Ryuk was entertaining himself by knocking people's hats off or creating gusts of wind with his wings that carried off homework, sending bewildered students scrambling around to pick up the scattered pages. Light smiled behind his hand. Watching your tiny havoc is much more interesting than this boring history lesson, Ryuk. 


His thoughts turned back to the magazine he'd hidden in the bathroom last night, and how much he wished he was alone with it right now. That really tapped something deep in me, didn't it...But the more he thought about it, it just made him angrier and angrier that he was reduced to sneaking around like some real criminal because of L...L, who was watching his house. Watching me. His fist clenched on his desk as he watched Ryuk take somebody's backpack and place it on top of the flagpole. L...I hate you...I need to find you, find your name, so I can write my fantasies into your death....He smiled a little wider at that thought. A heart attack won't do for you, L. No one stands in the way of the god of the new world....Not even you. 


The droning teacher cleared his throat loudly at the front of the classroom. "Yagami-san. As you must already be well versed in the historical methods of ritual suicide in Japan, seeing as how you are not paying attention, perhaps you can explain seppuku to the class." He crossed his arms with a smirk.


Light sighed and stood up, his heart still racing a little at his thoughts of L and the magazine. Really? Idiot. "Seppuku is a method of suicide used by samurai to die with honor before falling into the hands of enemies, and prevent their possible torture. A kanto blade was usually plunged into the abdomen and moved from left to right, resulting in disembowelment--"


The teacher seemed disappointed that he actually did know, and his attempt at chastisement had failed. "Thank you fo--"


But Light went on, eyes shining, "--however, only a very deep cut to the descending aorta would result in a quick death by bleeding out, so it was very painful--"


The teacher uncrossed his arms, his brow furrowing, "Yagami-san that's--"


Light broke into a wide grin, staring the teacher down, "--and to avoid protracted suffering, a second person was usually tasked with beheading the victim if the pain was too much--"


The teacher was getting red-faced, "That's quite eno--"


Light felt himself getting a little hard at this power play, and he didn't care. Didn't care he was standing up and the entire classroom was staring at him slack-jawed. His voice rose over the teachers, "--like in the case of Yukio Mishima, but his second had to hack at his neck THREE TIMES and still failed to kill him--" 


The teacher walked over to Light's desk and slammed his palms down on it, huffing. "ENOUGH!"


Light dropped his grin and pushed his urge to laugh deep down. He assumed his normal submissive student face and merely responded, as if bewildered, "As you say Tanaka-sensei. I was only trying to answer your question completely." He gave an innocent smile. "Forgive me for getting over-excited about Japanese history. Its positively fascinating, especially with you teaching." Winning smile time. Avert the eyes down. He sat back down.


The student sitting next to Light piped up, "You did ask him, Tanaka-sensei." The rest of the students nodded and whispered, a bit impressed with Light getting a rise out of their usually placid history teacher.


The teacher looked from Light to the rest of the class, not quite registering why he was so angry when his top student was smiling up at him so nicely. He leaned up off of Light's desk, smoothing his hair back. "Ahem. Yes, well..." He adjusted his tie and gave Light a distrustful look. "Thank you for that complete answer." He headed back up to the head of the class with a tight smile, but didn't take his eyes off Light the rest of the period.


Light left Ryuk to his schoolyard games and concentrated on pretending to pay attention, eyes forward, while really daydreaming about watching a kanto blade plunge deep within L's belly. And missing the aorta.




L tapped the button to call the elevator almost as soon as Souichirou had left for the night. Of course, nothing interesting had happened during their surveillance of the Yagami residence during the day, just regular, boring domestic life. But things might get a bit more interesting at night. The elevator arrived and L rode it up to his rooms, carrying an entire pink-frosted cake. He padded barefoot over to his desk and turned on the surveillance monitor, setting the cake down beside it. He's not home yet. Held up at school, Light?


L crouched in his chair and turned to his laptop. He brought up the Kira file, specifically, the names and times of death of Kira's victims from yesterday. He'd been pondering all day how criminals had died during last night's broadcast of the news, but no one in either of the families who were being watched had seen the criminals' names or faces. Light was studying, with no TV in the room. Everyone else had the TVs off. Does that mean that none of them are Kira? But what also irked him was the type of criminals--they were all petty criminals, and not the usual murderers or violent criminals that Kira focused on. A purse-snatcher, an embezzler, a forger. These don't seem like your usual fare. 


He picked up a fork from the plate and swiped it across the top of the cake, gathering a huge mound of pink sugary icing and bringing it to his lips. His eyes went wide with realization. Unless, if you knew I was watching, which you seemed to, you might not have had a choice about the types of criminals that popped up on the news. You just needed them to die to get you from under suspicion. Are you really thinking like this? A high school student managed to get the names and faces and appear to be studying, all under my nose? The thought unsettled him and also excited him. You're making me think. To wonder. You’re staying a step ahead of me.


How did you get those names? L hugged his knees to him. Light, your mind is a complicated twist of lies and deception isn't it? He smiled to himself and licked the last of the icing off the fork, stabbing the cake and grabbing another bite. I'll be sure to unravel that knot before I see you behind bars. His fork slowed on its transit to his mouth and stopped. Something felt bittersweet about that. Will I ever find someone who challenges me as you do again? I want to stop you more than anything. But if I do, this ends. But that's the price I have to pay for justice.


He looked in the mirror by his desk, his inky black hair as disheveled as ever, deep black circles under his eyes from the lack of sleep and the toll his cases inevitably took on him. Ironic that I don't let that show to others, but my body lets it show anyway. It betrays me. He stared at his reflection harder. You can't see this, my face, Light, and you never can or you'd kill me. But if you did? Would you see what others see? Genius L. Stoic L. Creepy L. Emotionless L. A letter. A ghost. Your enemy. Or would you see me? Drifting L. Lonely L. Damaged L. Reaching L. A man of flesh and blood. A heart. Your mirror.


Which one would you see before you ended me? Which would you prefer?



Light left school a bit late, as his history teacher had made him stay to help grade history term papers since he found the subject "so fascinating." But it was worth it. On the way home, he spoke quietly to Ryuk, "You really shouldn't be so bold with your pranks at school, Ryuk. I'm bored there too, but you don't need to arouse suspicion." He laughed a little, "People are going to start saying the school's haunted."


Ryuk liked that idea. "I could be the ghost of the high school courtyard! That might be fun." He gave Light a sly look. "And you're one to talk, I saw what you did in there with your teacher, hyuk. Shouldn't YOU be on your best behavior right now, with L watching your every move?" Gulp. Yeah, your every move Light-o. You're gonna be soooooo mad at me. Maybe I better just not say anything. Yeah.


"You saw that Ryuk? I thought you were busy torturing students?" That idiot teacher. I hope he doesn't cause trouble.


Ryuk shrugged, "Shinigami can see a lot." Uh oh.


Light darkened a little. "Like through walls." Of course, that's how you found the cameras. So, I suppose you watched me last night. Ugh. Are gods of death truly so shameless? 


Ryuk swallowed hard. "Yeah, like that."Can you blame me? I haven't seen anything as interesting as you in aeons Light.


The death note comes with so many complications, and all the strings are connected to Ryuk. He smirked up at Ryuk. "Are shinigami even interested in humans that way?"


"Er...not officially."


"What's that mean?"


"Well, let's just say there's rules against that. And some nasty punishments." He dangled upside down in front of Light. "But none for just looking, hyuk!" 


Light glared at him. "And there's nothing I can do about it, huh? I guess I can't get rid of you, so I'm stuck with an immortal voyeur." You'll never listen to what I ask you to do, will you? How can I be a god if I can't control you?


Now you're starting to understand, Light. "Just pretend I'm not here when you need to. I'm used to it after millennia of everybody ignoring me."


Light sighed. "I suppose it can't be helped." They were home.




L had made it half-way through the cake by the time Light had started dinner with his family. He looks down about something. He's barely said a word since he came in the door. L listened to their dinner conversation:


Souichirou: Light, I got a call from your school today. Your history teacher said you were defiant in class. Is that true?


Light's mother: Light! That's not like you.


Light: [glowering down at the peas he was pushing around his plate] It was just a misunderstanding. I stayed after school today to help him with some grading to make up for it. [seeing they were still unconvinced, he gave a bright smile that was obviously fake to L] It was nothing, I promise. I've just been under stress lately and should've been more respectful is all. The entrance exams are next week...


Souichirou: [sternly] I suppose that is a stressful time for a high schooler. But I don't want to hear any more about you acting up in class. What would colleges think if your teacher decided to put that in your letter of recommendation?


Light: [smile becoming tighter but holding] Of course Dad. You won't hear another thing, I promise.


Souichirou: Good. [a bit more kindly] Let us know if you need anything at all, if you are feeling too stressed. I know you'll ace those exams.


Light: I will, Dad. I'm fine. May I be excused?


L watched Light put his plate away and head up the stairs to his bedroom. That was a farce. He played them. Something's bothering him and it isn't his entrance exams. 


Light threw himself on the bed as soon as he got upstairs, holding his pillow over his face. Is he screaming into that pillow silently? I can't hear anything. But when he threw the pillow across the room, Light's face was a mask of calm. He opened his backpack and took out his homework, sitting down at his desk. But he just sat there, staring straight ahead at the space between him and the wall for a full 5 minutes before finally looking down at the homework. He completed it in about 10 minutes. And L was impressed. Those were rather complicated equations, Light. And it comes to you so easily. You'll do fine on your entrance exam. 


L stopped himself. No, don't do that. Kira will be behind bars before that. If you truly are Kira, Light.


Light got up from the desk and put his homework away, and went into the bathroom. Light bent over the sink and looked into the mirror, running the water and splashing his face. He shut his eyes and mumbled something to himself, and L thought it was, "Nobody understands. No one can." Light put his palms on the counter and let his head fall down a little, and L saw his shoulders shake slightly. He's laughing. But when Light raised his head again to the mirror, L saw that wasn't it. He's crying! A few tears were streaming down Light's face, but when he saw them in the mirror, he made an angry face and wiped them away quickly. He said into the mirror, loud enough for L to hear, "'t let him do this to you." Don't let who do this, Light? Did your father's words cut you so deeply? Or....


Light opened the cabinet beneath the sink and reached in the back of it, pulling out the magazine from last night. L shifted in his seat, feeling a complicated mix of emotions. He pulled closer to the desk, feeling slightly guilty but not guilty enough to stop watching. I already blew any pretense last night. And I'm getting so hot at just the thought of what's going to happen. No sense in being a hypocrite now. He pulled his shirt over his head and kicked his pants off, his cock already starting to swell.


Light rubbed his eyes once more and sat down on the floor, flipping through the pages of the magazine until he stopped and stared down at one page for a long time. He traced his fingers over it and then ripped it out of the magazine. L quickly zoomed in on the picture:


A naked young man was trapped in a short cage, being forced to squat in it, and each of his wrists was handcuffed to the corners of the cage's front. He was wearing a collar and leash, and nothing else. The end of the leash was being held by a hand, the owner of which was standing outside of the picture, but was pulling it taut. The look on the man's face was similar to the one from last night, pleading and submissive. But he was also afraid, crying. The invisible person's other hand was stretching towards the man's erect cock, which was pushing through the bars, but was just out of reach. The image was somehow even more disturbing than the one from last night.


But L liked this one even more. Seeing into your fantasies is the most arousing thing I've ever experienced. He felt himself getting harder as he watched Light stare at the picture, rubbing his thumb over the man's face almost tenderly. Light moved to his knees and licked the back of the picture, sticking it to the mirror as he had last night. He leaned towards the mirror and placed both palms on it and took a deep breath, looking first at the floor and then bringing his gaze up to the picture, as if working up the strength to look at it.




Light's eyes focused on the man's face, and he placed his left hand on the picture. I feel afraid like you. I feel trapped like you. Alone like you. Alone but not alone. Watched, taunted.


He shut his eyes and whispered, "L..." and began to touch his body softly, brushing his lips, running his fingertips down his neck, his chest, his nipples, his hips. "L...where are you....who are you...." He opened his eyes and spit in his right hand, starting to stroke himself slowly, so slow. He leaned towards the mirror and kissed his reflection in a mimic of a real kiss, the smooth glass cold against his lips, his tongue. He pulled back with a small sob and felt the hot tears behind his eyes again, the icy barrier just another reminder of how alone he truly was. A choked whisper, "Alone....." I have no one. A god needs no one.


His breath hitched as he found a steady rhythm, and looked back to the picture. Softly, "You're going to kill me, aren't you?" Anger flooded over his fear, "You fucking try it then." Stroking a little faster, almost roughly, his beautiful face contorted in rage. "I'll push that blade into your stomach, L, push it in so slowly...." He leaned his head back, savoring the image, the pleasure building with his feelings of power. "I'll...I'll twist it, L...twist it across your body...." He gasped a little, twisting his fist around the head. "Watch the much blood....flow from you...." The tears began to burn down his face, hot and fast, and he leaned into the mirror, smiling and crying, gasping and panting. "But not too deep L....not too deep...." Not deep enough to kill.




L felt shocked at what he was witnessing on the screen, watching Light alternating between raging and crying. But he was inches from the screen, squirting lube into his hand and stroking smoothly as he knelt in the chair. Light you are rough with yourself. So angry. But why do you cry? You look beautiful, so vulnerable. This cannot truly be Kira. And no way you would think anyone is watching this. He touched his own lips as Light leaned into the mirror, and reached out to the screen when he heard Light sob softly, feeling a tight contraction in his chest at the sound. That was real pain. L felt his own loneliness reflected in that mirror instead of Light's image. Its me in your mind. And you're in my mind. You aren't alone, Light, but you don't know it. 


He reached for a small vibrator and smeared it with lube, inserting it into his entrance, and reaching....reaching for that spot. When he found it he moaned, watching Light speak to the picture, first with fear and then with anger. Please don't be Kira, Light. Please don't be. The vibrations were sending electric pleasure through his whole body, and he stroked harder as Light started talking about shoving a blade into L...into me....he gasped, and started to pant, feeling like he might come but pushing it back down. No, come with him. He's not alone and neither are you. 




Light was getting closer to orgasm, and he was choking back sobs. He was stroking so hard it nearly hurt, the pleasure taking a backseat to the raw need to just feel something, anything, to get release from all his emotions at once. I can't let L break me. I can't let this situation break me. Do what you need to do to cope. Do it all. 


He turned blurry eyes back to the picture, but he couldn't imagine it was L anymore, no matter how hard he tried. He squeezed his eyes shut, the tears welling out. Oh fuck...its me....its me in a cage, trapped and needing. The death note is my chain. My chain and my salvation, if I can just reach the other side. He leaned back against the sink counter and extended his legs, feet against the mirror. Be stronger damn it! "A god cannot die....." And I will be a god!


He sucked the fingers of his left hand and started pounding himself, just wanting to drown all this fear, all this doubt, to block it out and erase it. He arched into the sensations, finally getting to where he wanted to be. Oblivion. He moaned through hitching sobs, "Erase me...erase this...." And he forced himself to open his eyes and stare at the picture. I won't be trapped. That won't be me. His chest heaved as he came forcefully against his stomach, gasping angrily, "Thats.....not......ME!" He writhed on the floor of the bathroom, then turned on his side and panted, wanting just to stay here in this empty hole of a place. A black hole that sucked up everything in its path and left nothing but his purpose. 





L was panting hard next to the desk, bending over the screen and touching the image of Light while he stroked himself as fast as he ever had. Why am I crying too...Light, your pain moves me...this has never happened before. His lips were parted, the scars on his own soul being brought unexpectedly to the surface experiencing this one-way intimacy.


L gasped as he tried to hold back, torn between his desire to climax with Light and right now. To make this heart-breaking feeling stop. To never let it stop. We are both destroyed by our purpose aren't we? And L knew then that Light was Kira, in his heart if not in other ways. You know how it feels. You know. And only he could know. He bent closer, wrapping an arm around the screen and bringing his face as close to Light as possible while keeping him in focus and keeping up his pace.


And when Light finally came with an angry gasp, L felt his knees buckle underneath him as he came too with a blinding flow. The rush of sensation blocking out the pain, and washing over him was nothing but blackness, emptiness, void. It scooped him hollow, uprooted him, the could understand me. 


He panted on the floor, tears flowing harder now, watching Light do the same curled in nearly a fetal position in the bathroom. And he brought his knees to his chest, rocking a little with anxiety and exhilaration, pushing his fingers into his hair and grabbing, pulling. As the feeling of wanting something so wrong, so against everything he'd always been and had thought he wanted to be took that feeling settled into the new, empty place and made a home. Spread its wings and sunk its talons down into his insides, an invisible knife pushing deeper and deeper, and he was bleeding in red pulses.


Oh, Light, your knife. It cuts me deep.


But not deep enough to kill.   


Please be Kira, Light. Please be Kira.

Chapter Text

He’s interesting.


No, he’s more than that. He’s the most fascinating thing I’ve seen in an immortal lifetime. 


His games, his struggle, his failures and his triumphs. Watching him match wits with L...this will never get old. And while anything would be more entertaining than the dim monotony of the shinigami realm and those shallow gambling, silly creatures, this is more than merely a diversion. More than just a game. 


While they cast their bones into the dust, I’ve already hit the jackpot.


A human who believes himself to be a god! This is not new. There have been many before him. Planted by the seeds of madness, hubris, elevated position, childish religions. Some were lulled by the death note into believing they were beyond the reach of true immortals. But this is different. I knew, always knew, that none of the ones before would achieve it. I laughed at the joke and watched their minds come unspooled and careful plans dissolve to dirt.


Light is different. He has it in him to give it a good try, if he’s lucky and smart enough. But he doesn’t know the true game yet. What’s really at stake. His perfect human world is a meaningless fantasy built from limited understanding, he is the reality. Or he could be.


Somehow he’s already managed to take a step towards that reality, without even realizing it. He thinks he is battling L for survival, but that isn’t all of it. Its me he’s really warring with. And he’s already pulled off a pretty neat trick.


He’s made me not want to write his name. 


The next day at school was uneventful and Light was on his best, most practiced behavior. But afterwards, he didn’t feel like going home quite yet. Instead, he’d burned the magazine, unable to bring himself to enjoy looking at it anymore after what had happened last night. He just wanted to be rid of it, and had felt a tremendous weight off his shoulders watching it’s pages curl and flake into ashes that rose drifting to the sky. Take my doubts with you to hell.


On the way back home, they stopped at an apple orchard, heavy with ripe fruit. Light laid down on a grassy place under the tallest apple tree and watched Ryuk zoom around the orchard gobbling apples until he was drunk and sated and grinning.


Ryuk came to perch above the tree Light was laying under, heaving a deep sigh of satisfied but somewhat guilty contentment. “What are you thinking about Light-o?”


Light put his hands behind his head and gazed up at Ryuk dreamily. “What it means to be a god. The new world I want to make.”


“A god eh.” He stretched his heavy black wings lazily and folded them back again. “Do you know how many names you’ve managed to write so far?”


“Don't you already know that Ryuk?” 


“I do. 532.” He sounded a bit impressed.


“So, why did you ask me?” 


Ryuk shrugged. “Because no one has taken to the deathnote like you. You’ve written more names than anyone else in the same amount of time.” 


Light shut his eyes and smiled to himself, feeling proud of himself. “You know I’m not like other people Ryuk.”


“Maybe. The death note has never taken to a human like it has with you either.” It wants to stay with you for all time. I’ve never ever seen that, even for shinigami.


“Are you saying I’m special, Ryuk?” Light opened one eye and grinned up at him.


“I bet you’d like me to say that wouldn’t you, hyuk!” Ryuk grasped the branch and leaned down, leering at Light and chuckling.


“Yes I would.”


Ryuk got a sly look in his eye. “Why do you care what I think?”


“You're a god aren’t you? Tell me how I’m doing.” Praise me Ryuk. I need it today.


Ryuk leaned back up and scratched his scaly head, thinking about whether to indulge Light in the flattery he craved. Eh why not. “Well you’d make a better shinigami than most in the realm, hyuk.”


Light hummed in approval, and took a deep satisfied breath. Feels good. “And who controls the shinigami Ryuk?”


“The shinigami king does.” 


“And who controls him?” Light’s eyes got bright.


Hmmm. I don’t like this line of questioning. “Don't get your hopes up Light, the deathnote cannot kill shinigami.”


You’re nervous. Are you worried, Ryuk? “What can?”


“Breaking the rules of our kind. Other shinigami.” He looked out to the horizon. 


I’ll push just a little more. “And the shinigami king, can he be killed?”


Ok that’s it. Ryuk lowered his voice and gazed around shiftily. “I wouldn’t say that too loudly if I were you Light-o.” 


I’m more afraid of L than some lazy death god. King of the Fatal Fools. Light laughed, “What, is he watching us?” A bit mocking.


Ryuk gave him a nonplussed look. “I cannot know. But shinigami do watch the lives of humans if it interests them. And you have become interesting.”


Well, at least there’s that keeping you from writing my name. “So, I amuse you?”


Ryuk grinned again and nodded. “You do.”


“I suppose I should be grateful for that. I entertain you and you let me live.” But he didn’t sound particularly grateful. 


“Something like that, hyuk.”


One more try. “Who made the death notes Ryuk? The shinigami king?”


This again. Light, you’re pushing your luck and I really shouldn’t answer. But I owe you after what I did. “No, someone else made them, hyuk. The shinigami king rules over our realm and us but is bound by the primary rules of shinigami same as we are. He cannot change what has been set in place.”


Push. “Someone else. Who?”


Push back. “I cannot speak their name.”


Challenge him. “Can’t or won’t?”


Ryuk just laughed. “Do you aim so high Light?” You persistent bastard.


Light gave him a smug smile. “Why not Ryuk?” 


Ryuk was laughing so hard he nearly fell off the branch. “You would challenge the being that brought creation forth? This you cannot do, hyuk.”


Light closed his eyes and sighed. “I do not yet know what I cannot do.”


Ryuk stopped laughing. He’s serious. “You are mortal.”


Distant, dreamy, “Perhaps that is changeable.” Light opened his eyes and looked at Ryuk. Softly, “Is it?”


Ryuk was quiet for awhile, but held his gaze. “There are not enough apples in your world to get me to answer that, Light.”


Light closed his eyes again. I got him! It’s possible. “But you want to tell me. I know you do.”


He considered Light quietly. “Maybe one day.”


They sat together in silence for awhile, enjoying the warm breeze of early summer and the smell of apples all around. Light finally spoke, “Have you ever had a friend Ryuk?”


Ryuk shrugged. “There are other shinigami I like better than others. Or despise less than others, hyuk.” He laughed quietly.


Light smirked up at him. “That doesn’t sound like friendship. What about another human before me?”


Ryuk got a serious look on his face. “No. That would be foolish as I must write their name one day. As I must write yours. Did you forget, hyuk?”


Light gazed at him a long time until Ryuk looked away.


“Don’t worry about it now. You amuse me and I have no reason to kill you anytime soon.”


But Light remained unsettled. “If you can feel amusement and boredom, you can feel more than that, want more than that.”


Ryuk just shrugged. More than you know. “I told you what happens to shinigami that become involved with humans.”


“But you said that was for sex.”




“But what about love?” I need your love Ryuk, although I can not love you. It’s the only weapon I have to control you with.


Danger. Shots fired! Ryuk shifted on his perch. “I don’t love you Light.”


Light grinned up at him in a mischievous way Ryuk found very charming. “But you like me.”


Take cover! “I’m not a fool Light. You cannot charm or manipulate a god of death like the other weak-minded mortals in your life, hyuk.”


Light sighed and looked at him seriously, no hint of a laugh in his eyes. “I’m no fool either Ryuk. And I won’t have to charm you. You will come to love me as you see me for who I am and will become.”


Return fire! Ryuk glowered at him. “You are truly arrogant, Light.”


And now the laugh returned to Light’s amber eyes, “You like that about me.”


Damage sustained...Very quietly,“Yes.”


Light shut his eyes with a little smile. “What else do you like?”


Ryuk plopped his chin in his hand. Sarcastically, “Oh, should I count them all out for you? Nice try.” He stuck his tongue out and sulked.


Light was not deterred. “I’ll tell you something I like about you then.” He leaned his head back on his arm and stroked his neck thoughtfully, lightly, mulling what to say.


Strike back! Ryuk spat at him, “You only envy me, my power, my control of peoples lives and fates.” He watched Light’s fingers trace his collarbone lazily and whimpered a little inside. 


“No.” Light looked at Ryuk like he had a secret.


Really? “Then what?”


“Well, I like how hard you try to remain aloof and how well you are able to push aside any other emotions when you need to. I like how you listen to me and notice when something is wrong and ask me. I enjoy your single-minded focus on fun, it amuses me too.” Light laughed musically, easily. “See, there’s several things. Now you tell me.”


Shall I concede some ground? “I like...” He paused but was drawn too far in already “...when you really smile. Not when you are pretending to but when you forget to pretend and really do it. I like...your ability to dream past what other humans can. You are mortal and fragile but you don’t let that define what you think you can accomplish. Your mind is strong, so strong.” Another pause, and Ryuk considered. Hell, I’m already losing. “And I enjoy your body, hyuk.” A sheepish grin.


Light got an amused look on his face. “My body?”


Ryuk nodded. Cat’s outta that bag I suppose. “It is amusing to look at, hyuk.”


Light’s brow furrowed. “You find my body funny?”


He misunderstands. “Not funny. Beautiful.” 


Light appeared to be genuinely surprised and a little pleased. “Really?”


“Yes.” Oh I bet your ego’s the size of Jupiter right now isn’t it Light? Sigh.


”I’m not attracted to you, Ryuk.” 


Of course I know that. I’m...And you’re...”I know. And I couldn’t do anything even if you were.”


Light stared at him a while. “You watched me the last two nights, didn’t you....” 


Ryuk didn’t say anything right away, but finally whispered, “Yes.” His eyes glowed brightly and he did not turn away or flinch.


Light blushed hard and sat up against the tree. He turned away from Ryuk. “Then you know I am not as strong as you think. Not as arrogant. I am afraid, Ryuk.” I have no one else to be vulnerable to. And you won’t tell anyone, because you cannot.


You are opening yourself to me willingly. “Of death?”


He met Ryuk’s gaze once more. “Of dying before I achieve what I know is my purpose.”


“Death comes to all humans Light.” 


Light sighed and looked up through the branches of the apple tree. “And how did you feel, watching me, Ryuk?” I shall ensnare you.


Ryuk looked away and was silent.


He turned soft eyes up to Ryuk, a whisper, “Won’t you tell me?”


Ryuk turned back to meet his eyes. A small shiver ran through his frame but he remained silent.


Light laid back down on the grass, looking up into Ryuk’s eyes. Tell me.


Ryuk felt a bit dizzy and phased in and out of thin air a few times, so excited and overwhelmed by Light‘s intensity in this moment. Do you really want to know Light? 


Ryuk finally managed to slowly speak. “Shinigami do not feel what humans feel. You wouldn’t understand.”


Light’s voice was calm and even. “Try to explain it to me.”


I fell in love with your soul. “There is a place outside the shinigami realm, another plane of existence. Lense, it is called. No shinigami has ever been there, so I don’t even know how I know of it’s existence. But our kind say that in this place, every moment in all of time, since creation and those moments yet to be, blow like gusts of wind across a vast plain. And that when one blows through you, you feel every experience and emotion of all beings in the universe combined at that moment in time.” A slow smile, somehow kind, as razor blades are sometimes kind, spread across his monstrous face. “Watching you Light. It felt like I have imagined that would feel.”


Light was struck, and it showed on his face in an unusual lapse. Such a powerful thing. “That’s rather beautiful Ryuk.” Lense sounds amazing. “I want to see that place for myself one day.” He reached up and plucked an apple dangling within reach.


The embarrassment finally crept from the corner and tugged at Ryuk’s wing. “Don’t let it go to your head. Mortals must die and I must be the one to write your death.” And that sucks but that’s how it must be.


Light smiled up at him. “Just promise me one thing, Ryuk.”


I don’t make promises, but.... “What Light?”


“If you really do have to do it, write me a good one.” Light closed his eyes again. “It may be the death of me, what kills me more surely than L might, but I consider you a friend, Ryuk.” I’ll cast my net wide Ryuk, don’t flee from me.


Ryuk’s voice was small, “I’m not, though.” I lied to you. May have exposed you to L. You’d hate me if you knew.


Not yet. “I know. Friends don’t lie.”


“You lie to all your friends Light. You lie to everyone.” I feel so guilty. Why is that? I shouldn’t care at all!!


“Except you.”


That’s why. “You cannot lie to me.”


“And that’s why you’re my friend. When you stop lying to me I’ll know you consider me one too.” 


“Lying to you...” Uh oh.


Light gave him a half-smile. “About the cameras in the bathroom for example.”


“HYUK!” Ryuk’s eyes bugged from his head and he fell off the branch, barely righting himself to flap to the ground. “Light....” He kicked his toe in the dirt.


Light laughed a little. “I did believe you but when I thought about it more I know you must have lied. L would cover everything. That’s how he works. I shouldn’t have let my...needs...get in the way of my better judgement. But it cannot be helped now.”


Ryuk grimaced. “I suppose you’re very mad at me...”


“No. I know it is in your nature. I forgive you.”


Ryuk gaped at him. Really??! He went to sit down beside Light, wanting to be close to him. “L probably saw though. Heard you.”


Beside me at last. Will you stay? “I have to assume he did.”


Ryuk couldn’t tear his eyes from Light. “And that doesn’t worry you?”


Light took a deep breath. “Yes. I’m afraid. More than I was even yesterday.” 


“But you’re so calm.”


I am strong Ryuk. You’ll see. I bend, but I will not break. “I’ve accepted there’s no going back. I can’t change anything. I suppose I can always just say it was a stupid fantasy if confronted. But I think...I wonder...” Light gazed off into the orchard.


“Wonder what?”


“If he really did watch...if he felt anything. Anything like what you did.”


Ryuk was feeling honest and generous. “It would have been hard not to. Hell, you moved a god of death.”


Light fingered a single black feather jutting from Ryuk’s wing. So soft, yet you are so jagged everywhere else. “And yet you both want to kill me.” A real smile up at Ryuk, unguarded. Don’t you L? “Don’t you Ryuk?” His thumb softly stroked the shiny red skin of the apple he still held.


Ryuk watched Light’s chest moving slowly up and down with each steady breath. He looked inside and watched his heart beat, his lungs fill with air. He saw the cells of his blood jostle each other along as they flowed through arteries and veins. Saw a vesicle form and burst at a nerve synapse, producing an explosion of neural electricity. No where could he see why Light was any different than the billions of humans he had seen before. No where could he find it.


But it was there somewhere, hidden even from the power of shinigami eyes.


Softer, seductive, Light said it again. “Don’t you Ryuk?” He held his apple up to Ryuk, and Ryuk drooled. The best apple, the reddest, the juiciest in the entire world. In all the worlds.


Ryuk stared at him harder, more desperate to find it, the thing, and time was short. I can’t find it. I can’t refuse it.


Thin black fingers slowly curled around the apple and he held it with Light. The fingers of a god brushed flesh and blood as Light released it. Light’s real smile slowly faded as he held the shinigami’s silent gaze, a new expression of soft wonder taking its place. He doesn’t want to write my name. He does love me.


Ryuk sighed a bit sadly. And took a bite.