Chapter 1: Holy
Alex Danvers and her four years old daugher, Mia, now dressed as Wonder Woman, were walking the street of the neighborhood next to theirs trying to get as much candies as possible. At first, Kara had been with them, excited to be there for Mia's second halloween with the Danvers family, but the DEO had called her for an emergency causing the superhero to fly off.
Alex had adopted Mia two years ago, when they had found the baby hidden under the sink in the kitchen while her biological mother had been bleeding out in the living room. The woman had been killed by an alien, whom she apparently owned money to, after buying multiples times drugs out of this world.
Once the agent had hold the baby girl in her arms, once she had comforted her for the first time, she had knew she was meant to be the mother of this child. The girl had no related family left and at the hospital, her birth document had informed them the father remained unknown. With the help of Jonn and Lucy, Alex had been able to adopt her. And now she had been a mother for two years and she couldn't be happier. Well, only one thing was missing. A partner, a second mom, someone to share birthdays and christmases with, someone to be overjoyed with her, when Mia was doing something simple like drawing a picture of their family. Alex knew who she had wanted that person to be but she hadn't seen her in three years. She had had relationships since then of course, but nothing worth sticking around for.
"Mama!" exlaimed the little girl tugging her mother's hand "Look at this house!"
Alex laughed as she made the little girl jumped toward the red door with a skeleton on it. The whole porch was covered of lights and pumpkins.
"Think they have lots of candies here, mama?" piped up Mia.
"Only one way to find out babygirl" smiled Alex caressing the small girl's brunette hair "Go ahead, knock"
Mia's tiny fist reached for the door and knocked timidly three times. Alex was sure that whoever was inside wouldn't have hear it but the door opened anyway and Alex froze right then. There stood the most beautiful woman in the world, the woman she once claimed to be the love of her life. Maggie's reaction was similar to hers, mouth agape, wide misty eyes.
"Holy--wonder woman!" the brunette corrected herself fastly looking at the little girl.
Mia swung on her heels, a sweet smile gracing her cute face.
"Trick or treat!!" yelled Alex's daughter excitedly.
Alex's heart was still stuck in her throat as Maggie recovered slowly and bent her knees to be head level with Mia as she reached into the bowl beside her to give the kid candies.
"Hey sweetie! You make a beautiful wonder woman, you know that!" Maggie tipped her head toward Alex "Was Kara mad about the costume choice?"
The agent let out a sound that was half a laugh, half a shriek.
"They actually met you know" swallowed Alex "Wonder woman and Supergirl are great friends."
Maggie nodded slowly not really caring about the information as she was still dumbfounded. A beautiful black woman came to stood beside the detective.
"Babe, what's taking so long?" she asked as she rejoined them at the doorstep.
The brunette turned to her with a forced smile on her face as the woman eyed the tiny girl and her mom behind her with jaw lenght redhead hair.
"Oh, shi...wonder woman is at my door! And her mom I presumed?" commented the black haired woman.
Alex nodded awkwardly, her heart now below her feet.
"Hum, yes, this is my daugher Mia " informed them the agent.
The little girl lifted her small bag full of candies in exasperation.
"Mama, you're not supposed to say who I am!" chastised the girl.
Maggie laughed wetly watching carefully Alex's daughter. She had long heavy chocolate hair and her eyes were the same color. Her skin was a bit darker than Alex's. The kid seemed to be around four, so, she wasn't biogically Alex's. Maybe her partner's child? Alex was looking good as ever, still wearing a black leather jacket, too tight jeans and a soft red sweater.
"I'm sorry babygirl, you're right. How about you say thank you for the candies?" Alex replied to her daughter.
The girl turned toward the women with a giant smile.
"Thank youuu!" she trailed happily.
Maggie bent again toward the girl with a smile of her own.
"You're welcome Mia." she said sincerely.
Alex almost choked at the way Maggie said her daughter's name. All the things they could have had together hitting her once again. Alex's eyes widen as Mia lifted a finger up and poked Maggie's dimples, frowning at the woman, trying to recall where she's seen her before. The detective touched the kid's soft hand between her thumb and index.
"Okay, Mia, it's time for us to go alright?" hushed Alex as she bent to pick her girl up on her hip "say bye to the ladies?"
Mia frowned once more, pouting.
"But mama, this is..."
"Mia" cut her Alex before the black woman beside Maggie cleared her throat.
"How about this, why don't you guys stay and catch up while I go to the corner store buying...stuff?"
Maggie glared at her friend threateningly.
"Renee..."she trailed with a hard voice.
The woman winked and went inside briefly to retrieve her coat.
"It was a pleasure to meet you Wonder Woman! You can have all the candies in the bowl if you want" said Renee bumping Mia's nose with a finger.
The little girl laughed as Renee left with a wicked smile on her face. Alex swallowed for the million times as she turned toward Maggie.
"My asshole of a best friend? Yes. Um, come in, if you want, this is her house by the way" proposed Maggie.
Alex couldn't help but feel relieved that the gorgeous woman was only Maggie's friend and then cursed at herself for thinking such a thing. Maggie deserved to have someone in her life, someone to be there for her, take care of her.
The agent stepped the threshold warily, her daugher tugging her hair absentmindedly as they were both looking around. Alex noticed that the TV was on and the two glasses of wine on the coffee table in front of the giant comfortable couch. Couples of pictures were hanging on the wall beside her and Alex recognized Renee smiling widely as a redhead woman kissed her cheek. She noticed other frames with them on their wedding's day and one with Maggie in a suit, obviously being a bridesmaid. Alex couldn't help but smile at how beautiful Maggie looked.
"Hum, if you want to, I could put a movie on Netflix for her or something" Maggie offered nervously.
Alex nodded quietly as Mia clapped and laughed. Maggie smiled at the girl before opening the app menu. The detective found a cartoon movie of Wonder woman and pressed play as Alex sat the girl down, taking off her arms's armour and crown to be more comfortable. She kissed Mia's temple before getting up to rejoin Maggie in the dining room, who was watching her intensively. The brunette raised a beer asking silently if she wanted one and the agent accepted gratefully. They both sat down in front of each other, Alex's chair turned slightly so she could keep an eye on her daughter.
"So...you have a daughter" started Maggie with a small smile. "She's beautiful"
The agent took a long swig of beer, nodding.
"Thanks" she muttered. "We had a rough case two years ago and Mia's mom died and we connected immediately so I adopted her.
"Oh" huffed out Maggie "Poor girl, does she have a lot of memories of her biological mom?"
Alex shook her head wincing.
"She was a drug addict but she still protected her daughter in her last moment, so, one day if Mia ask, I'm gonna tell her the truth. I just...the second I saw her, terrified in the cabinet where she was hidden, I just..."
"Couldn't let her go?" completed Maggie kindly.
Their eyes met. Really met this time. Not furtively, not akwardly, but just met and they realized that it didn't hurt. They had missed each other so much, they were simply happy to be in the same room again.
"So, does Mia have another mom or..." asked Maggie wincing at the tone of her voice.
Alex shook her head as she played with her beer's etiquette.
"No, it's just me. Well the whole gang is helping out a lot but, it's basically just me. I was dating someone back when I wanted to adopt Mia but..."
Maggie crossed her arms over the table listening attentively.
"She didn't wanted to do this or..." trailed the detective frowning.
"No, actually, she was very supportive" rectified Alex scratching her temple "I liked her a lot but she wasn't...I...didn't see myself...raising a kid...with her."
The brunette nodded as the information sank in. The movie was still playing in the background and Maggie looked back, seeing Mia dozing off on the couch.
"What about you? I see that Renee is your friend and she's married but are you seeing anyone?" Alex asked slowly.
Maggie drank shaking her head.
"Um, no. I mean, I was but she wanted something serious and I didn't felt it so I broke things off. I..." hesitated Maggie, not being sure if she should go there "I was alone for a while after we...broke up...I realized that...it wasn't healthy for me to have made you my whole world. I mean, you had your friends and your family and I had you. And it's not bad, it just sucks, when you lose it all..."
Alex wanted to take Maggie's hand between hers but she knew that if she did that, she'd fall all over again.
"I'm not mad, Alex. I mean, I'm not gonna lie, I was you know, at you, at myself but I get it all now. And seeing how happy you are being Mia's mom, I know it was for the best."
Alex swallowed back her tears watching the table intently. The agent had felt so guilty for so long for those exact reasons. Had kept her up at night. Maggie cleared her throat.
"What about after you adopted her? Met anyone then?" the brunette changed the subject.
Alex scoffed shrugging.
"Well, it's hard to meet someone when you have a kid and to be honest, I didn't exactly searched either.."
The agent was surprised at hearing the detective sighed.
"Tell me you're not doing it again, Alex?" the redhead shivered as her name rolled off Maggie's tongue "Please tell me, you're not forgetting yourself again to take care of everyone else but you."
Alex lifted an eyebrow at Maggie's words. Not knowing if she was upset or found it sweet that the brunette still cared even after all this time.
"It's not like before with Kara, Maggie. She's my kid. Of course, she's gonna come first." Alex reasoned.
The detective's fingers were fidgeting on the table as if she was stopping herself from touching the other woman.
"I get that Alex, and I admire you for being an amazing mom but you still need to take care of yourself. Or let someone take care of you"
Alex was physically straining herself to not think of how Maggie had always treated her, always taken care of her.
"I'm better at it now, don't worry" sighed the agent.
Maggie bit her lips, pushing her hair behind her ear. Alex couldn't believe how familiar the move was. How even still today, it caused somersault in her stomach and a buzz in her guts. Alex knew she'd always love Maggie, but she didn't expected to be this affected after three years without seeing the other woman.
"I didn't mean to scold you or anything, Alex, I just want you to have the full happy life you always deserved"
Alex suddently jumped off her chair noisely, fist closed against her thight to stop herself from doing stupid, like tugging Maggie's hair between her fingers and kissed her senseless.
"Um, where's the bathroom?" the tall girl asked dumbly.
Maggie's eyes were flying all over the redhead's body wondering what was going on. She pointed a hallway with her thumb.
"Just down the hall to your left" answered Maggie a bit dizzy.
Once the woman was out of sight, the brunette let out a deep breath shakily. Seeing the love of her life again was messing with her hard. The detective got up and entered the living room seeing Mia laying down on the couch with closed eyes. She lowered the sound of the TV then sat down on the coffee table, facing the little girl.
She couldn't help but imagined what it would have been like to have adopted her with Alex. Maggie regretted not being there for the agent, even if it was as a friend. But the truth was, if she had stayed, they would have found their way back to each other one way or another. And Maggie hadn't wanted to agree to have kids with Alex and then still not being comfortable as a mother. She hadn't wanted to risk it. And she hadn't wanted to end up resenting Alex for it. Maggie had been afraid she would have wanted to run and hurt the love of her life and break a kid's heart. Maggie always had knew she didn't wanted kids, she always knew she didn't need them to be happy, to feel complete. But if she was honest with herself, she knew her fears had also stopped her. That's who she was, reflexive, not impulsive, she studied the facts and took a decision and stood by it. But as she was watching the little girl, she wondered if it would have been so bad.
Mia suddently opened her eyes and Maggie jumped back, a hand on her chest.
"Jesus, Kid, you scared the sh...you really scared me!" spluttered Maggie.
The girl laughed squeakily.
"Uncle Winn always get scared too!" she whispered as if she was sharing a secret.
"I bet he does" commented Maggie with a smile, happy that certain things never changes.
The girl stayed silent for a moment, both hands laying under her face, as she studied the woman.
"You're Maggie" she finally said.
The brunette's eyebrows rose to her hairline in surprise, a warm feeling spreading in her stomach.
"You're even prettier than in the pictures." added Mia pensively.
Maggie bit her lips, hoping the tears would stay at bay.
"You've heard about me before, kid? asked the detective.
Mia nodded slowly with kind eyes.
"Found a picture of you on uncle James's fridge. He told me you used to be a very close friend to mama. Then mama showed me more pictures of you."
The brunette forced herself to stay still as she was dying to reach out to Mia to hug her. Maggie had missed the superfriends too but didn't know if they had missed her. They had tried to keep contact in the first few months but after Maggie had transferred to another precinct, Maggie had decided to rip off the bandaid and stopped answering them.
"And what did she say, sweetie?" Maggie wanted to know as she was doing her best to not sob.
Mia seemed to take the time to think about it.
"That she cares about you a lot, that you showed her what love means and that she misses you."
Maggie smiled at the girl, her eyes full of tears. She wiped them away when she heard the toilet being flushed. Mia sat up on the couch still looking at Maggie with curiosity. She lifted her small hand again and put it on the detective's cheek. The small girl tipped her head.
"You look like me" observed Mia.
Alex froze as she watched the scene in front of her. Maggie looked completely shaken as her daughter played with the woman's brown hair, just like she had a long long time ago when Maggie had came at her apartment with pizza and beers and had said 'Life is too short. We should be who we are and we should kiss the girls we want to kiss'. Oh how things had changed and how some didn't.
"Hey, babygirl, it's getting late, it's time to go home." Alex announced trembling.
Both brunette lifted their head up to look at her. The image was too much. She was in a house with the two girls she loved immensely. It was everything she ever wanted. Alex took a few fast step, taking Mia's accessories and putting them in the candy's bag. The agent reached for her daughter's hand.
"You ready, baby?"
Mia stumbled to her feet, pouting as she looked back toward Maggie. The woman had stand up as well as she rushed to pass around the couch.
"Danvers?! Would you...like to grab a coffee sometime?" Maggie asked nervously.
The redhead looked at her with big wide eyes, her heart pounding in her whole body.
"I mean, I'd get it if you'd never want to see me again but.."
"Mags," cutted Alex with a hand on her elbow "I'd love to. I had to made my peace with never seeing you again once, I don't think I could do it again..."
Maggie's whole body was burning from Alex's fingerstips on her skin. The agent retrieved her hand as if she had been shocked too.
"Is it crazy that I always thought we'd end up on the same path again?" smiled Maggie with tears pricking her eyes.
Alex smiled wetly too. Rao, she'd never get tired of seeing that smile, those dimples, those eyes.
"No. It's not crazy at all." she replied quietly.
Maggie bit her lips to stop herself from kissing the love of her life. There will be plenty of time later. She was sure of it. They'll go slow. They'll do things right. Her eyes drifted away from Alex to sweet little Mia who seemed to be as happy as they were.
No, it couldn't be that bad. Cause what they had was holy.
Chapter 2: Wanna do this right
So you guys convinced me...I'm manipulable like that. I want to thank all of you for reading, giving me ideas and encouraging me to write more of this story! This chapter is more focused on Sanvers but I might add a chapter at some point with Maggie and Mia's relationship evolving.
Sorry for the mistakes I wanted to get this chapter out to help us cope with Sanvers and the canon shit...I swear I'm more affected by their breakup than by own parent's divorce. For now, I won't watch the show anymore, I can't handle their crap. I didn't watched 305 but still I won't let that breakup affect my love for Sanvers. This ship is ours, screw CW for real.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It took two weeks before Alex and Maggie were able to see each other for that coffee and they both felt the same thing. Excitement, nervosity and fear that the other had changed their mind during the night. They had agreed to meet at a new café close to the DEO on a wednesday's afternoon. Alex had chose to leave an hour early before getting Mia from Pre-K.
Maggie was already there when Alex crossed the door. She had been relieved when Maggie had suggested taking a cup of coffee there instead of at Noonan's where they both shared too many memories. Too many mornings, hiding in a corner booth exchanging sweet kisses. Alex shook her head as she watched Maggie playing nervously with a ball of napkin. The agent smiled at the adorable action.
"Maggie?" she called out softly.
Alex still couldn't believe she got to say her name again. The brunette turned around fastly, getting up noisily. She winced then her face broke into a giant smile, her dimples appearing.
"Danvers" huffed out the dectective, visibly relieved and happy.
They both shifted on their feet, not sure what their next move should be. Maggie, brave Maggie, took the first step, raising her arms up and hugging Alex with no hesitation. The agent's shaken breath hit Maggie's neck as the brunette hid her nose in the taller woman's hair. Maggie smiled realizing they still smelled the same.
The embrace lasted longer than it probably should have but they both didn't cared as their hands were warm from touching the other woman. They finally took a step back, deciding on not saying a word about their teary eyes. Maggie still looked intently at Alex as the redhead sat down. She couldn't take her eyes away as if the other woman would disappear if she let her guard down.
The agent knew Maggie was still watching her even when the waitress came to take her order and left. Alex was shy somehow, feeling like she was under a microscope. She wasn't used to be looked like this anymore.
"I'm really glad you accepted my invitation" the detective finally said truthfully.
Maggie crossed her arms over the table and Alex knew she did that as a way to protect herself, not knowing what the outcome of this meeting would be.
"I must say I...I was surprised you wanted to see me after you met Mia" the agent replied playing with the tip of her fingers.
The brunette shook her head, surprisingly smiling.
"You got one cute kid there, Danvers." she admitted "Got those eyes you can't quite look away from."
Alex bit her lips as Maggie hold her gaze.
"Yeah I know the feeling" she whispered softly.
The detective swallowed as her smile faltered.
"I know it must be confusing for you, I..." she let out a dry chuckle "I was pretty confused myself. I so did not expected to see you the other day. Nor seeing you had a daughter, I..."
Maggie stopped for a moment trying to get a grasp on everything. On saying that Alex had a daughter as if it wasn't freaking her out anymore, on her feelings burning her stomach for the past two weeks, on Alex, beautiful Alex looking at her, so open and vulnerable, a trace of fear and hope in her infinite eyes.
"I don't know Al, I just...I just knew I had to see you again."
The smaller woman shook her head, her desperate smile still there, frustrated with herself for not being more clear about her feelings.
"Maggie, I...I have no words to explain how happy I am that I got to see you again" the agent nodded trying to get her point across "but...I don't want us to reopen old wounds if nothing has changed..."
"We're not." cutted Maggie firmly. Then she repeated kindly, then pleadingly "We're not. We're not. Alex, I...I know what I said three years ago and I meant it. I did. But here's the thing, I now know what it's like to live this life without you and god Alex...it's not...full."
Alex pressed a hand against her mouth to stop a sob from crossing her lips. Maggie was quick to grab that hand, interlacing their fingers against her heart as she slipped her chair to the side of the table to get as closer as possible to Alex while still giving her space.
"Alex, you know me. I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't say those things if I wasn't sure of this."
Maggie tipped her head trying to seek the other woman's eyes but the latter kept her head down, her whole body shaking. The brunette sighed, pushing a strand of the redhead's hair behind her ear.
"Look, I get that this a lot and I get that maybe this isn't what you want. I get it if I'm too late.."
She didn't had the time to finish her sentence that Alex turned toward her and kissed her hard. Maggie let it happened for a second before reluctantly backing off, her fingers around the other woman's jaw. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing raggely, trying to not fall into the memories of Alex's lips. Maggie chuckled at the redhead still impulsivity, reminding her of their very first kiss, of her proposal.
"You always made it hard for me to be the reasonable one" Maggie noted.
Alex laughed silently too, shaking her head against Maggie's.
"I can't say I'm sorry.." replied the taller woman with a innocent smile.
"Don't be. I wouldn't have it any other way."
They both moved back, still staying close as they opened their eyes. They stayed silentful for a moment, tracing the other's woman face with their eyes. Alex noticed a small scar on the brunette's jaw and wondered what was the story behind it. There were so many stories they missed.
"So, what now?" voiced Alex.
Maggie caressed the redhead's knuckles with her thumb softly.
"Now, you're gonna pick Mia from pre-K, take the time you need to think about this and we could meet some other time to talk some more. You could tell me everything about your girl."
Alex's whole face lit up hearing Maggie's plan. She wasn't sure what they were or what they would be but knowing the brunette intended to stick around made her feel hopeful. She didn't knew how they were gonna do this, but she knew they would find a way.
And so, the women met like this at least once a week, sometimes twice if their shedules allowed them and they both couldn't be more grateful to be slowly back in each other's life. Alex learned everything about Maggie's few friends and coworkers from the precinct and Maggie, well, Maggie was simply falling in love all over again each time they talked. The way the redhead told her about Mia loving Alex's past missions as bedtime stories, the way she told her with pride that Mia had a thing for wild animals and how the girl loved constellations as much as her mother, Maggie couldn't help but smile at the thousand stars in the redhead's eyes and call her kid a nerd.
So, she kept asking questions because as much as she loved Alex being happy talking about her daughter, Maggie loved to learn new things about the girl. Her favorite color being purple, sometimes dark blue, her lucky number changing every year on her birthday and her favorite animal was a red panda because it fur made her think of her mother's hair. Maggie thought the kid was adorable and she was surprise with herself for wanting to see the kid again. It had been almost two months since she last saw Mia at Halloween. She wondered if the girl thought about her too. If Alex had told her about their little...dates? Were they dates? God, they had kept it simple until now but the truth was, there was still this tension between them. Not a negative one, far away from that, both women just couldn't help but be drawn to each other. It was like magnets. Like gravity. But those things could be scientifically explained, and what Maggie and Alex shared...there weren't words for it.
Maggie and Alex were standing side by side, Alex walking Maggie home since it was on her way to her own apartment when Maggie stopped the woman in front of her building, taking the taller woman's hand in hers. Alex looked up with her big eyes, surprised.
"You know Alex, you don't have to shield Mia from me." Maggie said kindly.
"I'm not" sighed the agent "I'm not hiding her or hiding you...I'm not ashamed of either of you, I just...I just didn't wanted to overwhelm you.
The brunette gaze fell down to the pavement for a moment. She was afraid of this, afraid that Alex wouldn't trust that she wanted this, wanted her, wanted Mia, wanted them.
"I know that and I appreciate it, I really do." confessed Maggie tipping her head to the side "But I really...want to be a part of your life again, which means being a part of Mia's life. I'd really love that, if you want that too of course."
The agent smiled finally at ease, knowing Maggie was never one to do things she didn't wanted to do.
"Yeah, I'd love that."
Alex nodded three times, trying to keep her tears at bay as she stepped forward taking Maggie into her arms. The brunette sighed, relieved, as she hold on the taller woman's back. They stood back but Alex's fingers lingered on the corner of Maggie's leather jacket, biting her lips nervously.
"Could I come up? So we can talk some more?" Alex asked with pleading eyes.
The detective's knee weakened at the redhead's voice. She put some distance between them, her hands on her elbow.
"Don't you have to get Mia?" counteracted Maggie desperately.
Alex shook her head, getting closer to the smaller woman with a timid smirk.
"Kara and Lena have her for the night. I was supposed to joined them for a girls movie night but..." she trailed, her point being obvious.
Maggie swallowed as she took a few steps back getting her keys off her jacket.
"I don't think it's a good idea, Alex." reasoned the detective.
The brunette tried to not crumble seeing the disappointment on the agent's face. She sighed stepping toward Alex again, pushing her hair away, keeping her hands on the woman's cheek.
"I just...we agreed to go slow, right?" tried Maggie again softly.
Alex looked at the sky a moment blowing out air. She nodded then shook her head grimacing, shrugging.
"I don't know...it's been three years. We waited long enough, don't you think?" she said with half serious voice, half kidding, trying to not let her vulnerability show.
But Maggie knew. She always did. The brunette gritted her teeth doing her best to not think of how long it had been since the last night she had touched Alex.
"I got company up there" Maggie informed her.
Alex immediately stepped back feeling like she had received a bucket of cold water on her head. Maggie was confused for a moment, the agent's face turning hard.
"Oh..." whispered the redhead.
The detective finally understood and wanted to punch herself for the misunderstanding. She rushed to grab Alex's arms to keep her there.
"A dog, Alex. My big dog is up there" explained Maggie with a nervous smile.
The agent's organs fell back into place in her body as she sighed and laughed jitterly. She let herself get closer to Maggie, as the smaller woman circled her waist with her arms.
"You have a dog?" breathed out Alex, nostalgic of the plans they had to get one together "Since when?"
Maggie smiled, glad the moment of fear had passed but then the brunette felt her nerves spiked up.
"I adopted her two and a half year ago. She's a beautiful brown labrador." told her Maggie.
Alex smiled too, picturing the puppy and thinking of how both Kara and Mia would want to meet the dog as soon they'd hear of her existence.
"What's her name?" the agent asked, curious.
Maggie felt her heart thumping hard in her chest. She locked eyes with Alex, the wind making her shiver.
"Gertrude" she admitted with half broken, half confident voice.
Alex's face froze for a second before laughing wetly. She intertwined her fingers between the brunette's hair before slowly tipping her head down capturing Maggie's lips in a searing kiss. Maggie's whole body vibrated in frequency with Alex's tongue diving into her mouth. The tall woman pushed the detective sofly into the brick wall, her heart threatening to combust at the rush of love overcoming her body.
They both pulled away briefly to breathe before kissing each other once again. It seemed like an hour, a second had passed before they took a moment to register what had just happened. They couldn't take their hands off of each other as their forehead, their hips were glued together.
"Can I come up now?" hissed Alex with a teasing smile.
Maggie's fingers curled on the redhead's stomach, causing her to tense softly. Her skin was as soft as it was three years ago. The brunette whimpered knowing her resistance was failing her.
"I should take you out on a real date first, don't you think? Buy you dinner or something" retorted Maggie.
Alex almost growled as she latched her mouth on the detective's neck. She followed the line of her jaw to her ear with her tongue, taking the lobe between her teeth.
"You brought me lunch two days ago" recalled her Alex.
Maggie pulled away, a hand on the taller woman's chest, breathing heavily.
"A proper date, Alex. Don't you want to go out with me?" asked the brunette,
The agent put her hand on Maggie's hips, keeping her close, laying her fronthead on hers, leaving a small kiss on the detective's nose.
"Of course I want to, Mags. We had amazing dates before and we'll have others again, but tonight, I just want your body under mine. I've missed you so much, Maggie" whispered Alex emotionally.
The brunette threaded her fingers through the redhead's hair on her neck, tiptoed and kissed her again, softly, hotly. She sighed into her mouth and they both had to pulled back because they were smiling too much.
Maggie tugged Alex toward her building, both taking their time as they climbed up the stairs. The detective opened her apartment's door, Gertrude coming to greet them excitedly. Maggie kneeled down, hugging the labrador.
"Hey beautiful! You had a great day, big girl? Yeah you did!" cooed Maggie a minute before Alex started laughing, moved by the affection Maggie clearly had for Gertrude.
The brown labrador turned her attention to the tall woman, tipping her head to side, studying her softly with her brown whiskey eyes. Alex imitated Maggie, dropping on the floor. She lifted a hand carefully letting Gertrude come to her. The brown dog sniffed her hand for a moment and Alex could swear her face broke into a smile as she pushed her head into Alex's chest. The agent smiled even more petting Gertrude.
"She likes me" exclaimed Alex happily.
Maggie scratched the dog's head behind her ears.
"Of course she does."
The detective met the agent's eyes and the only thing breaking the silence was Gertrude's loud breathing. The brunette cleared her throat, then got up, taking off her jacket and went to the kitchen. She put food and water in Gertrude's bowl then washed her hands. She did all this while still looking at Alex out of the corner of her eyes. The redhead stood up and joined Maggie at the sink. The agent bit her lips, suddently a bit shy.
"You went all badass and confident on me, insisted on coming here and now you get all shy?" teased Maggie softly, intertwining their fingers together and kissing her knuckles.
Alex shrugged trying to fight off her smile as she fell into Maggie's embrace, kissing a dimple.
"I just want to do this right. Just like you said" she admitted slowly.
Maggie kissed Alex on her lips, the taller woman immediately cupping the detective's face.
"It's us, Alex. Of course, it's right." Maggie reassured her.
The brunette started walking backward toward her bedroom, Alex following her as Gertrude totally ignored them, trotting to her food.
The sun woke Maggie up early the next morning. She let out a sigh as she blinked away the remaining sleep. Her eyes landed on Alex's naked back. The redhead was sitting on the side of the bed, putting her jeans back on. Maggie swallowed as she crawled toward the redhead, the bed creaking under her weight. She kissed her spine softly, light as air, then circled her completely from behind, her arms around her stomach, her thumb caressing the taller woman's skin. Alex tipped her back on Maggie's shoulder, recalling the detective the very moment before Alex had asked her to marry her.
"Where are you going?" Maggie finally dared to ask.
Alex reached out, a hand in Maggie's hair, scratching her scalp.
"Gotta pick up Mia from Lena's place" she mumbled, visibly still worn out by the night they had.
Maggie dropped a kiss on the redhead's shoulder.
"How about I go with you?" proposed the brunette.
The agent chuckled softly, turning her head toward Maggie.
"Mags...we just spent the night together and I know how overwhelmed I am, so I can only guess how you feel...don't you think you need a moment alone?"
The detective sighed knowing Alex was right, but she was afraid to let her go. The redhead must have sensed her hesitation because she got out of her embrace and turned, kneeling on the floor in front of her. She tried to seek her gaze but Maggie was too busy trying to not build walls around herself.
"Hey, Maggie, talk to me..." pleaded Alex with a low calming voice.
The brunette shook her head, despicating herself for ruining the great night they just had.
"It's just...the last time we made love to each other, it was a goodbye." she confessed her torment with a shrug.
Alex cradled her face with a soft determination pushing Maggie to finally meet her eyes.
"Hey, this wasn't it, okay? This...this is us starting again. Not starting over because frankly I don't ever want to forget how our story began, but this is our chance of being together again, of doing things right. And that is why I think you need a moment with yourself because this is a lot to take in" Alex told her with a chuckle to lessen the tension.
Maggie nodded to herself knowing Alex was right. She let a deep breath.
"Yeah, you're right" She shook her head, pushing away all negative thoughts as Alex climbed into her lap "How about this? You go and have breakfast with Mia and try to not think of me the whole day..." Alex scoffed at her and Maggie put her hands on her hips to stabilize her "...and you come back here tonight with her, so I can meet her properly and she'll meet Gertrude too. I'll cook you guys dinner."
Alex smiled for a long while not quite believing the woman in front of her. Was this it? Was she getting the full happy life Maggie told her she deserved?
"You'd do that?" Alex said anyway, incredulously.
Maggie laughed at her expression, adoring the way she looked at her.
"Of course. You should know by now I'd do anything for you."
The agent nodded fastly.
"Yeah i know that.."
The brunette nudged the taller woman's chin with her own.
"Hey Alex? This is for me too. This is what I want. I want to meet Mia and get to know her."
Alex sighed, relieved as Maggie left a kiss on her sternum.
"Is there anything she likes?" asked the detective as Alex got up to finish dressing up.
"She loves my mom's lasagna" responded the agent with a gentle shrug.
Maggie layed back down on the bed, cuddling the pillow Alex slept on.
"Hmm...I miss her food." grumbled the brunette.
The agent laughed, then laced her boot and swirled her jacket on her shoulder. Maggie grabbed her hand.
The tall woman sat on the bed beside the detective, surprised by her tone.
Maggie smirked, lifting an eyebrow.
"I'm not gonna run, okay?"
Alex let out a breathy laugh, loving seeing Maggie being so sure of herself, of them. She bent down and kissed her.
"Good. I'd run after you anyway"
Maggie traced the redhead's face with a thumb, biting her lips.
"Glad to hear that, Danvers."
Comments are very much appreciated! Let me know if it was up to your expectations...I know it might seem a bit rushed out but I just wanted sanvers to be happy. If you guys want the sex scene, I can try to write it if you guys insists..
So, yeah, might, will probably write another chapter with Maggie and Mia bonding...as always suggestions are welcomed.
Chapter 3: Meant to be
I'm really aware it's not my best work, so I apologize for that and for the mistakes. Hope you'll enjoy anyway.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Alex couldn't wipe her smile off her face as she waited in the elevator of Lena's apartment. She could still feel Maggie's kisses on her chest and her fingers around her hips, holding her down. She could still feel Maggie's tongue entering her mouth and languidly caressing hers. Alex cleared her throat, bracing herself on the wall as she felt her body tingling with needs.
She shook her head violenty and tried to think of the ugly green alien she had fought last week. The doors finally opened, the agent stepped out and ran a hand through her hair once more. She blew out a puff of air before entering Lena's apartment, already smelling eggs being cooked.
"Mama!" yelled her daughter.
The redhead kneeled down, a wave of happiness hitting her everytime she heard Mia call her. She catched her girl in her arms with a giant smile.
"Hi, my sweet babygirl. You had a good time with your aunts?" asked Alex.
Mia pulled back from the hug and nodded frantically, happily.
"Aunt Kara made me watch Spy Kids, said that it was one of your favorite movie when you were young. She said that you wanted to be a spy too!" Mia talked to fast, the words bumping into each other.
The agent laughed and grabbed her daughter's hand pulling her closer.
"Are you saying I'm old, Mia?" teased Alex.
The redhead heard Lena's laugh in the kitchen while Mia let herself fall backward dramatically with a groan, knowing her mom was holding her.
"Mama," sighed the little brunette "you know what I mean."
Alex kissed her temple and stood up, letting her girl go back to her toys in the living room. She walked behind the counter in the kitchen, taking a bite of a bacon. Lena turned around hitting her with her spatula.
"Hey! Those are for your sister, Agent Danvers! She's out there helping the firefighters with an accident on the bridge. She'll need all the food she can get!" chastised Lena with a playful glare.
The redhead leaned on the counter keeping an eye out on her daughter playing with a figurine of Wonder woman and Supergirl. She looked back toward her sister in law.
"I love how well you're taking care of my sister, but you know she'll fly to that bakery before coming here and I need to eat too after..." Alex stopped herself, shoving the rest of the bacon in her mouth.
Lena raised a perfect eyebrow at her, her green eyes shining. She almost blinded Alex with her smirk. The CEO hit the agent a couple of times.
"You totally got laid!"
The black haired woman got closer, sniffing her. Alex pushed her away wincing.
"Yep. You totally smell like sex." concluded the smart woman.
Alex buried her face in her hands groaning before raising her head, not being able to not smile after last night.
"So, who was the lucky woman?" asked Lena wiggling her eyebrows.
The agent froze glaring at the woman with a hard look.
"You're kidding, right?"
Lena took a step back, her arms up and checked on the eggs. Seeing they were done, she put them in a plate.
"We knew you were seeing Maggie again, but we didn't knew if you guys were officially dating." explained Lena softly.
Alex swallowed and cleared her throat. She had barely been able to date other women after she and maggie had broke up, there was no way she could have gone on dates while seeing Maggie again.
"Well, we were, we are. And last night," sighed Alex "god Lena, it was like time hadn't passed. And I know it did, and I know we still gotta go slow but she really want this to work. So do I. She want to meet Mia for real, tonight."
Lena turned around, surprised, with a soft smile. She caressed the redhead's arms.
"I don't remember the last time I've seen you this happy after spending the night with a woman." admitted Lena.
Alex shrugged slightly, smiling at her, feeling some tears threatening to fall.
"I've never loved anyone like I love her" simply said the older Danvers sister.
The black haired woman hugged her close, sighing, glad her sister in law was finally, enterily happy.
"Does Mia knows about her?" asked the younger woman stepping back.
"Yes but I want to talk to her more about this."
Lena nodded before calling Mia for breakfast. The little girl ran toward them and Alex scooped her up, sitting her securily beside her on a stool. Lena slid two plates in front of them and winked at Alex.
"What do we say to aunt Lena, babygirl?" murmured Alex into her daughter's ear.
Mia pushed herself away, feeling her mom's breath tickling her hair and laughed.
"Thank you, aunty Lena!" yelled Mia joyly.
Lena smiled at her niece before leaving the two Danvers alone. Alex enjoyed watching her girl silently for a while before gathering some courage.
"Hey Mia, you remember Maggie?" started Alex softly.
The little brunette nodded and took her time to chew and swallow, remembering that her mom didn't liked it when she talk with food in her mouth.
"We saw her at Halloween, right? And then when we got home you barely watched the movie! But you talked about her before and you met her since?" Mia responded a bit unsure.
Alex recalled how unfocus she had been that night after seeing Maggie again. She honestly didn't know how she had managed to do anything during those first two week before she had been able to meet her.
"Yeah, exactly, baby. Since Halloween, Maggie and I have spent more time together. To get to know each other again." she continued "and eum, I told you before that she was my friend and she is. But she was also more than that."
Mia frowned looking up at her mom. Alex pushed her girl's hair away and tied them in a low ponytail, away from her food.
"Like aunty Kara and aunty Lena?" asked the little brunette.
The agent smiled at her daughter's reasoning, biting her lips, noticing again how beautiful and smart her girl was.
"Yes babygirl, like Kara and Lena, Maggie and I were together a few years ago." explained Alex calmly. "We sadly ended things back then, but when we saw each other at Halloween, we wanted to meet and talk, to see if we could try again."
Alex found it hard to simplify everything that had happened between her and Maggie. How she felt that she was the one that had actually ended things between the two of them. How she felt that she had abandonned Maggie. How they both had suffered in the past few years without each other.
"And are you trying again, mama?" questioned Mia with her big curious eyes.
"Only if you're okay with that, babygirl" reassured Alex.
Mia looked down at the counter, a pensive look on her tiny face. Her dark eyebrows were scrunched together and Alex had to stop herself from snapping a picture of her. The agent bit her lips nervously, waiting for her girl to be done with her reflexion. The little brunette finally looked back at her mom.
"Does that mean I'll have more sleepovers at aunt Kara and Lena and uncle James and Winn?"
Alex laughed softly seeing how serious her daughter was. She lowered herself to be eyes leveled with her.
"If you want to, sure. But we could do stuff with the three of us too. Maggie, you and me. Would you like that? And of course baby, we're still have plenty of days just you and me." Alex said trying to put her girl's mind at ease.
The agent kissed her daughter's temple and hugged her. Alex moved back a bit, kissing Mia's nose.
"What do you say, honey? I won't be mad if you don't want to, okay?"
Mia rolled her eyes with a smile and went back to eating. She took a sip of her orange juice. Sensing her mom's nerves spiking up, the girl turned toward Alex again. She raised her hands and put them on her mother's cheek. The redhead smiled at the gesture, knowing it meant her daughter would make a statement.
"Everytime you say Maggie's name, you smile," shrugged Mia "and I like seeing you smile, mama."
Alex did her best to not cry, hugging her daughter once more.
"I love you, you know that, babygirl?" whispered the redhead.
Mia tucked her head under her mom's chin and smiled.
"More than all the multiverse together?" completed Mia.
"More than all the multiverse together." repeated Alex.
The agent let go of her girl, the brunette going back to her eggs, finishing them.
"Why don't we eat eggs, mama?" asked Mia the same way she had asked her why the sky was blue.
It dawned on her how her little girl was too serious sometimes.
"Because I can't cook them without burning our home down, sweetie." Alex sighed "But you know who cook well?"
Mia shook her head, a few strands of her hair coming out of her ponytail.
"Maggie" announced Alex "she invited you and me tonight for some lasagna."
Her brown eyes got wide.
"Like Grandma's?" she asked excitedly.
Just like her aunt, one of Mia's priorities in her life was food.
"Maybe not exactly the same but I know for a fact that it's delicious." Alex assured her "Oh and she have a beautiful labrador!"
The small brunette didn't say anything for a second, looking at her as if she had told her she was from Mars. Then she moved, slidding herself off the stool. She ran around her mother, her fists on her hips, frowning.
"What are we waiting for?" Mia exclaimed.
Maggie had been nervous all day, she had went to the store, baught everything she needed for dinner and a little extra for Mia, hoping the girl wouldn't think she was trying to buy her. She knew the Danvers was about to arrive, but she needed support from her best friend, so Maggie took the time to call her.
"What if the kid doesn't like me, Renee?" Maggie repeated for the third time "Then I'll lose Alex again and I don't think I could go through it this time..."
She heard her friend sighed as she watched Gertrude lazily lying on her stomach in front of the oven. The big girl loved the heat as the lasagna was cooked.
"Maggie! The kid is four years old, you would have to suck a lot to make her hate you. Beside, I thought the problem here was the fact that you didn't liked kids."
The detective retrieved some dishes from the cabinet and put down the plates on the table muttering insults about her friend, wondering why she had called her.
"I never disliked them, Re, I just never wanted one. But you saw the girl, she's cute as hell. She's Alex daughter, how could I not like her?"
Renee laughed at the cop's words as the brunette sat down, Gertrude coming to sniff her feet.
"Then you're worrying for nothing. Look, if this was any of your other exes, I'd stop you from doing this. But since the first day we met, I knew that you never got over that woman. And from what you've told me, it's the same for her. Don't try so hard, Sawyer. Apparently, you guys are meant to be."
Maggie smiled at her friend's speech. Renee had been there for her since the day she had transferred to her precinct. The detective had been so grateful for her and her wife, Kathleen for taking her in. For being there for her after her break up with Alex.
"Thank you, Renee. For everything." the brunette said heartily as she petted her dog.
"Anytime Sawyer" replied the sergeant.
Maggie hung up, sighing. She could do this. She wouldn't force herself on Mia, she would go slow, let the girl come to her or something. Three small knocks resonated in the brunette's apartment, taking the woman by surprise. She rubbed her palms on her blue jeans, hoping her nerves would disappear along with her sweaty hands. Maggie pushed her hair behind her ear and got up, ordering Gertrude to stay put. She reached the door and finally opened it.
The detective couldn't do anything else but smile at the sight that welcomed her. Mia's smile was crossing her whole little face, her brown eyes shining. Her hair were down and even longer than the last time she had seen her. She wore a black beanie and a nasa winter jacket. Nerd, Maggie thought. Her gaze switched to the woman who was holding Mia against her hip. Her still short hair were more curled than last night and she had a timid smile on her face as she eyed the woman's plaid shirt.
"Danvers and baby Danvers! Aren't you two the most beautiful girls on this earth!?" Maggie said cheekily to hide her nerves.
Alex looked at her daughter with a smirk as Mia laughed.
"Oh flattery" commented the redhead. "Mia, I know that you know, but this is Maggie Sawyer, the best cop and detective I've ever known, and Maggie, this is Mia, my little girl."
A wave of warmth and pride wreathed in her stomach at the woman's words. Mia reached out, her fingers opening and closing themselves, beckoning Maggie to get closer. The brunette smiled as the little girl immediately grabbed her cheek.
"What are those?" Mia asked half serious, half amused.
Alex laughed at her daughter's question and Maggie's bewilderment toward the child.
"They are called dimples, babygirl. They're one of my favorite things about her." Her mother told her.
Maggie rolled her eyes at the redhead while the woman winked at her. Mia let out a excited yelp.
"Detective Dimples!" she announced proudly, munching on the words.
The women laughed as Alex finally entered the apartment, putting the girl down. Mia got suddently shy seeing the big dog patiently waiting and wagging her tail beside the chair. She hid herself a bit behind her mother's legs, holding her wonder woman figurine tight against her chest. Maggie bend herself to Mia's size as Alex took off her daughter's hat and jacket, caressing Mia's hair, trying to get her to relax.
"Hey sweetie, I know Gertrude is a big dog and seem scary but she's actually very nice and loves hanging out with munchkins like you. I mean, she likes me and always follow me around and your mom always make fun of how short I am. So, I think you would get along well with Gertie."
The girl laughed then frowned, looking up at her mom.
"Mama, that is not nice! You always says we have to be kind with other people!" retorted the small brunette.
Maggie laughed at Alex as the redhead fought her own smile. The girl was so adorable.
"Yes, baby, I know I said that. But it's different when it comes from people we love and that loves us. But if someone you love tell you something you don't like, you gotta let them know."
The detective watched the agent as she reassured her daughter and Maggie told herself she had been right all those years ago when she had crossed Alex's door for the last time. She would be a great mom. And now, she was witnessing it and she couldn't be happier to be there with Alex and Mia.
"So you wanna meet her?" asked the redhead.
Mia nodded with all the seriousness of the world and Maggie wondered what the girl did for fun. The little brunette bravely stepped out of Alex's safety, approaching Gertrude with small slow steps. The dog was getting more excited and breathed loudly but stayed in place as Maggie lifted a hand to warn her. The detective moved to kneel beside Gertrude as Mia reached them.
"Hey big girl, this is little Mia, you have to be kind with her, okay?" Maggie whispered to her labrador.
Mia raised her tiny hand toward the dog's nose, letting her sniff her. Gertrude licked slowly the little girl's hand, the brunette laughing.
"Mama, Gertie's eyes are the same color as yours!"
Maggie swallowed her tears at Mia's words. It brought her back to the night she had almost died, five months after Alex had told her she couldn't be with her. The night she had met Gertrude, the night she had felt she had gotten a piece of Alex back.
The agent's heart skipped a beat and as she tried to not gasp out loud. She watched the woman hid her face in her dog's brown fur, kissing her behind her ears.
"How did you find her?" Mia questioned with curiosity, looking up at Maggie.
The detective smiled at her, recognizing Alex's never ending thirst of knowledge.
"Actually, she found me" admitted Maggie, avoiding the redhead's even more curious eyes.
Maggie got up, clearing her throat, letting Mia play with Gertrude.
"So, the lasagna will be ready soon" declared Maggie pointing at her oven "and eum, I bought a few papers, coloring books and colored pencils in case Mia get bored and..."
The detective walked to her living room, replacing the box of crayons and the freshly printed animals drawing . She took a purple monkey plush in her hand hesitantly and turned around, coming to face with Alex who was in awe. Maggie brought the monkey up to her chin, trying to hide her shy smile.
"I don't know, I couldn't help myself. She probably has enough of those but I thought it was super cute."
Alex pushed Maggie's hand away from her face, interlacing their fingers, while with the other hand, she caressed her cheek. The brunette closed her eyes at the gesture.
"I so want to kiss you right now" whispered the agent.
Maggie laughed and bit her lips.
"Alex, your kid is right there." she replied even if she wanted to give in.
The redhead took a peak at her daughter who was throwing Gertie's ball to the end of the hallway. Alex buried her nose in Maggie's dimple.
"I told her about you. About us." she breathed out heavily.
Maggie lifted her head, her eyes smiling as much as she was.
"Yeah? That means we're doing this for real? You and me?" said Maggie, content.
The agent brought her other hand up, cradling the brunette's face, caressing her hair.
"If you're sure, yeah." answered Alex with confidence.
The detective curled her fingers around the redhead's belt, her joints digging into her abdomen, causing Alex's hips to meet hers. They both bit their lips at the feeling
overwhelming their hearts and their guts.
"Does that mean I can call you my girlfriend again?" asked Maggie with a cracked voice.
Alex nodded a few times, her eyes filled with tears.
"Yes. God, yes." sighed Alex before kissing her fervently.
They both breathed each other, trying to last this moment as much as they could. Mia's laugh and Gertrude's bark brought both Maggie and Alex back to reality. They both looked at the little girl playing with the very happy labrador and smiled thinking that they both got what they wanted after all.
Maggie lifted a hand to the redhead's face, her thumb wiping a tear of happiness.
"I love you, Alex Danvers. I always have."
Alex smiled through her tears, not quite believing she got to hear those words from Maggie again.
"I love you too, Maggie Sawyer. Forever."
Next chapter we'll see Maggie and Mia's relationship progression through the months and we'll see Mia calling Maggie mommy for the first time!! Yeah it's definitely my favorite part. Will also write a piece from Maggie's POV after Alex and her ended and how she and Gertrude met.
So from now on, it'll be snippets of their lives. Feel free to leave ideas, things you'd like to see.
Chapter 4: Heroes
Damn, two updates in a week...don't get used to it...
I know I said next chapter would be with Mia calling mommy for the first time but it turned out I had to cut that one in two parts so here's the first part...hope you'll like protective Mia ;)
As always, tell me what you think!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Ever since that dinner, Maggie saw Mia on a more regular basis. Alex and her didn't wanted to change the little girl's routine too much, but they gradually had dates, like Alex and Maggie did. It started with Maggie joining the girls's movie night every once in a while, the brunette enjoying watching the Disneys movies more than she'd like to admit. Sometimes, after getting Mia from pre-K, Alex would bring her girl to Maggie's precinct and they would all go for a walk around the park.
The detective loved the pace they were going. They didn't wanted to overwhelm Mia but truthfully, it eased things out for Maggie too. The brunette was falling in love a little bit more each time they were all together. She had been disappointed that she hadn't been able to spent Christmast and New year's eve with them, but the girls were visiting Eliza in Midvale and Maggie couldn't get herself out of her shift. And still, it all was too fresh for Alex and Maggie, and both women couldn't help but think it was for the best even if they had missed each other deeply.
Maggie had been surprised when she learned that Alex had moved out of her precious open floor apartment after they had broke up. The agent told her it had been too painful to sleep there without her and that she couldn't bring herself to bring other women there. The Danvers were living in a slightly bigger apartment with two bedrooms that each had a door, which Maggie appreciated a lot.
The women still found time to be just the two of them, just like Alex and Mia still had their days reserved to each other. It was a bit difficult sometimes to juggle with it all but with the help of the superfriends, they managed.
The first time Maggie saw them all together, she was a nervous wreck. She didn't knew if they were mad that she had cut them out of her life after too many failed attempts at keeping contact, despite Alex's reassurance that they weren't. A few weeks after Alex and Maggie were officially together again, it was Mia's fifth birthday. The agent and her sister planned a little party for the younger Danvers girl. So everyone important were there. Maggie was working that day but she had promised Mia she'd pass by before they'd cut her cake.
The detective did indeed manage to get there in time, but once she was outside of Alex's apartment door, she started to freak out. It was Kara that found her, closing the door behind her, cutting off slightly the sound of music and laughter.
"Hey, I thought you were having a heart attack." teased Kara gently crossing her arms over her chest.
The brunette stopped pacing, laughing curtly. She had seen the younger Danvers sister before this day, but hadn't really exchange more than a few words.
"Yeah, I'm a bit nervous seeing everyone again." admitted the detective with a sly smile.
The blonde sighed and placed a hand on the smaller woman's shoulder.
"They all missed you, Maggie." reassured Kara "and I'm really happy you're here."
Maggie let out a deep breath looking at the floor before meeting the superheroe's eyes.
"You are?" checked Maggie again.
Kara shook her head with a smile, replacing her glasses on her nose.
"Why wouldn't I be?" retorted the reporter.
The detective kicked the carpet softly with her boot, shrugging.
"I just thought you'd hate me because I couldn't give your sister what she wanted."
Kara put her hands on Maggie's shoulder, frowning.
"Did I enjoyed watching my sister being broken, of course not. But I know firsthand that you went through the same thing, Maggie." Kara looked away for a few seconds "I kept an ear out for you, you know?"
The brunette's eyes bored into Kara's blue one, an eyebrow up, her stomach twisting itself.
"You did?" asked the detective, surprised and touched.
"You were my sister Maggie, of course I did. You were allowed to not want kids. Just like my sister was for wanting them. I couldn't hate you for that. I must ask, what are your intentions with my sister and my niece?"
The door suddently flew opened and Mia ran out jumping into Maggie's arms.
"Maggie!" yelled Mia happily.
The brunette blew out some air, pushing strand of Mia's hair away from her mouth, smiling.
"Hey baby Danvers!" welcomed Maggie, hugging the little girl tight.
Maggie lifted herself up, Mia adjusting herself on the detective's hip. She frowned at the woman.
"I'm not a baby anymore!"
Kara and Maggie laughed at the little girl's indignation.
"Right, you're so old now!" commented the brunette.
Mia scoffed and rolled her eyes. Kara shared a terrified look with Maggie, wondering what the girl would be like in her teenage years.
"You're old!" refuted Mia.
Maggie shook her head, smiling at the small brunette.
"Okay sweetie, whatever you say."
Mia smiled too and played with Maggie's hair for a moment.
"Did you bwought me a gift?" the little girl asked shyly in the detective's ear.
The woman tickled the kid for a brief moment, her high pitched laugh hitting her ears.
"I thought me being here was a gift?" said Maggie with a fake frown.
Maggie tried to ignore Kara watching them intently, feeling studied.
"It is but..."
The girl looked around confused and a bit sad. Kara rolled her eyes gently and Maggie laughed, not being able to keep this going.
"Just kidding sweetie, of course I brought you gift." said Maggie putting the girl down.
The detective took a bright red gift bag by the door and gave it to Mia whose face wore a giant smile. Maggie was proud to be the reason behind it.
"Here, go put it on the pile with the rest of them, will you?" Maggie suggested with a kiss to Mia's cheek.
The little brunette hugged Maggie and the detective couldn't believe the rush of love that overcame her heart. Once Mia left back inside, Kara was looking at at smiling.
"I just want to love them the best way I can." Maggie told the blonde as she got up.
Kara immediately hugged the detective tightly against her for a while.
"Welcome back to the family, Maggie Sawyer. Rao, how we all missed you."
It turned out that everyone was indeed happy to see Maggie again. The detective received a double hug from Winn and James and the brunette could swear she saw a tear sliding down the green eyes man's cheek. She tried to keep her emotions in check but failed deeply when Jonn hugged her for a long fifteen seconds and whispered in her ear "Welcome home, Maggie." Eliza sadly couldn't be there but she took a moment to skype her granddaughter which made the little girl happy.
After everyone left that night, Maggie tucked Mia in for the first time. She was reticent at first, not wanting to intrude Alex and Mia's night routine, but the agent encouraged her greatly.
"No, I think it's a good idea! She's getting tired of my stories and all of my voices, anyway." she said with a smirk.
The brunette circled the redhead's waist from behind, kissing her neck and smelling her hair, sighing happily.
"I don't think I could ever get tired of your voice, Danvers." Maggie whispered in the agent's ear.
Alex laughed and threw her head to the side, trying to get away from the brunette's tickling kisses.
"Aren't you smooth? Go ahead, I'll clean this up." The redhead pushed her away gently with a smile.
And so, Maggie started telling Mia bedstories of her own adventures.
Maggie and Mia kept getting closer and closer, even having moments alone, just the two of them. The first time Alex asked Maggie if she could keep an eye out on Mia, the agent was sinewy, not wanting the brunette to feel obligated or pressured. But there was an emergency at the DEO and Alex called Maggie in a rush, the woman being the first person she thought of, that she trusted, with her kid.
The detective reassured her girlfriend as she dropped Mia off at the precinct beside Maggie's desk. The little girl sat down, her feet dangling in the void, her forever figurines of her favorites superheroes in each of her hands.
"It's all good, love. Renee said it was alright for this afternoon. Things are a bit slow here and most of us are catching up on paperwork."
Alex danced on her feet, still edgy about the whole thing. Maggie wondered when the woman would truly believe she wasn't gonna run away. The agent grabbed the brunette's black jacket, biting her lips at her woman's attire.
"Yeah, okay, all right. This way you can show Mia what a badass my girlfriend is. Thanks again, Maggie." Alex said as she smiled and kissed her cheek.
The detective tried to not smile too hard at the gesture as Alex ran her fingers through Mia's hair, bending down.
"You be good for Maggie okay, babygirl? I'll be back home around dinner or maybe after." informed the agent.
Mia kissed her mom and smiled, waving at her as she got up.
"Be safe!" called Maggie out as the redhead winked at her and left the station.
The brunette sat back down in her chair, eyeing Mia playfully.
"So, Mia, I know how much you love superheroes but you want to know how us, mere mortals are doing things?"
The little girl laughed and put her figurines on Maggie's desk. She propped her head on her hand.
"Mama says that not all heroes wear capes. Like firefighters, doctors and cops! She says you're a hero too!" announced Mia with a wide smile.
Maggie looked down fidgeting with the tips of her fingers as she tried to swallow the wave of emotions that was overcoming her.
"I'm hardly a hero, kid. I'm just doing my job." corrected Maggie softly.
Mia frowned and huffed out angrily. The brunette would laugh at how adorable she looked but knew she probably shouldn't. Just like her mom, the little girl didn't seem to like being contradicted.
"Well, would you say that mama isn't a hero?" Mia dared Maggie.
Maggie panicked a little bit, getting closer to the girl.
"Of course your mama is a hero, sweetheart. She's the best. She's so brave and smart. She has saved so many people, me included. She's totally a hero, she's my hero." the detective confessed, reassuring little Mia.
Baby Danvers crossed her arms over her chest, lifting her chin up. Maggie saw so much of Alex in the gesture, she couldn't help but smile at her.
"She's mine too." she declared gravely. "Mama and aunt Kara said those things about you too, you know? Aunt Kara said you helped her become a better hero and made her respect the heroes that doesn't wear capes more."
Maggie nodded slowly at the girl's words, showing her she listened and understood, despite the fact she was touched to the core.
"Okay, kid, I hear you. You're totally right." conceded the detective.
The little girl nodded too and squinted at Maggie with a smile tugging at her lips.
"Does that mean I get ice cream?" she asked wittily.
The brunette laughed at the girl's personality. Truly a Danvers, she thought.
"You know what, Mia? You're totally getting ice cream. Just this time, okay? And I'm gonna bring you to a group of heroes. Would you like that?" offered Maggie excitedly.
Mia jumped off the chair, a fist in the air. Maggie bit her lips thinking that she needed to work on her ability to resist the Danvers girls.
After passing by a creamery, Maggie walked down the street holding Mia's hand while the little girl held on her ice cream with the other. It was a bit too cold to Maggie's opinion to eat ice cream, but the little girl seemed so happy, she couldn't say no to her.
The detective kept walking until they reached a big red brick building, with a bell on top. The large doors were open and the girls could see two big firetrucks inside. Maggie took a napkin, wiping Mia's face and her hand, dropping the cone in a garbage can nearby as the girl was still in awe looking at the trucks.
"You want to meet some friends of mine, sweetie?" Maggie smiled at the little brunette.
Mia nodded, excited, throwing her hands up toward the woman. Maggie took the girl in her arms, grunting a bit under her weight. The detective walked toward the firehouse asa blond girl in her twenties and a tall brown guy approached them with similar wide smile.
"Oh my god, Maggie!" yelled the blonde "It's been ages!"
Both women hugged briefly and the bulky guy simply fist bumped her.
"Wow, Sawyer with a kid in her arms, not something I thought I'd ever see!" Theo said joyfully.
Mia circled Maggie's neck with her arms with a frown. Theo winced after realizing he talked loudly. He smiled at the girl trying mend things.
"Aren't you the cutest? After my own little girls of course." he said with a bright smile "I have kids your age, you know? They're eight and five. Makaila and Tracy. What's your name?"
Maggie winked at her friend for his effort, knowing how proud he was of his daughters. Theo was a single parent, though his brothers helped him out a lot. She had met him when she had started dating Stella, a firefighter that had saved her life.
Mia eyed Theo thoroughly studying him and Kenzie before reaching a hand out.
"I'm Mia. I'm five years old."
"Wow, five years old." Kenzie said with a kind smile shaking her hand "I think you're old enough to drive my ambulance, don't you think, Mia?"
The little brunette gasped happily, asking silently Maggie if she could join the blonde. The detective put the girl down and Mia ran to Kenzie, the medic taking the little girl's hand in hers.
"Don't break her, Ken! Her mom would kill you and me!" warned the detective.
Both girls disappeared inside the firehouse as Theo shoulder bumped Maggie.
"What happened, dude? Did you get a girl pregnant six years ago or something?" Theo whispered.
Maggie pushed the guy away, laughing.
"Shut up, man! My girlfriend adopted Mia when she was two and a half. Eum, she was my ex, but we reconnected." Maggie explained.
Theo shook his head, dumbfounded. The detective saw a black haired woman eyeing Mia in the ambulance.
"Ah shit" commented Maggie "I take it Stella transferred back here."
The tall man winced and nodded as they walked closer to the open doors. Theo squeezed Maggie's shoulder in comfort before walking away, rejoining Mia and Kenzie. Stella walked toward Maggie, crossing her strong arms over her gray shirt.
"Well, well, Maggie Sawyer in the flesh." welcomed the firefighter.
The detective noticed how good the woman still looked. Her dark hair in a tight bun, her olive skin freshly washed, she looked well.
"Hey Stel" asked Maggie softly. "How you doing?"
The taller woman smiled at the brunette, tipping her head with a smirk. She shrugged.
"I'm okay. I've miss you tho." she admitted with a soft voice.
Maggie swallowed, nodding at the information. She blinked as Stella stepped forward, hugging the detective. She hugged her back, loosely, then push her away kindly when Stella lingered. The firefighter kept her at arm's lenght, looking at her intensely. A loud horn made them stepped away, scaring Maggie. The brunette turned her head toward the ambulance, seeing Mia behind the wheel with a scrowl on her face. Maggie bit her lips to hide her smile, witnessing, not for the first time, that Mia Danvers was as protective of her mom, as her mom was of her. Stella was eyeing the girl, then Maggie, her polite mask now gone.
"Is she a cousin or something?" asked the woman somewhat coldly, as if she knew the answer.
Maggie shifted on her feet, a bit uncomfortable, considering the fact she broke up with Stella because the woman wanted something more serious, wanted to plan their future together.
"She's Alex's kid." informed her Maggie directly. "She and I are back together."
Stella scoffed and nodded, biting her lips. She scratched her fronthead.
"I can't say I'm surprised, but I can't believe you're willing to trust that woman again after she broke your heart the way she did." she snarled.
The detective sighed. She thought things had ended well between the two of them but she guessed that in those situation, there's always someone who get hurt more than they're letting on. She knew that firsthand.
"We talked things out, Stella. And that's between her and me."
"It's kind of funny how you ended things with me just because I wanted us to move in together and now you're back with that...woman, who has a kid, which you've told me many times that you weren't interested in."
The firefighter shook her head and the brunette saw Mia stepping out of the ambulance, Kenzie following her.
"Look, I always knew you'd never love me as much as you loved her, but we had something good, that you can't deny it. And I loved you better than she ever did. I could have made you happy, Maggie. I know it."
Maggie's jaw tightened. She understood the woman's point of view, but she disliked adamantly the way she spoke of Alex's love. Nobody could ever get what it was like to be loved by that woman. Before she could say anything, Mia ran into her legs, begging her to pick her up.
"Maggie, I want to go home!" pleaded the little girl.
The brunette focused on Mia instantly.
"What's wrong sweetie, weren't you having fun? Don't you like Theo and Kenzie?" asked Maggie.
Mia frowned and nodded slowly.
"But I don't like her!" she insisted, pointing Stella.
"Mia!" chastised Maggie for the first time.
The detective was torn. From one side, Stella had meant a lot to her and didn't like the way things were but on the other side, the little girl was her priority at the moment. Mia wailed and kicked her feet to get out of her arms. The brunette tried to not feel hurt by the action. She put the girl down. Maggie eyed the three adult in front of her. Theo was talking to Stella, visibly upset while Kenzie was hesitating between comforting her friend or apologizing to the detective.
"Mia calm down, we can't talk to people like that." Maggie said sternly, kneeling on the floor.
The little girl stopped moving, sniffing, letting her tears fall down. Maggie sighed, wiping Mia's cheek. The little brunette put her hands on the detective's, pulling her closer. Mia hid her face in Maggie's neck.
"She's trying to get between you and mama." explained the Danvers girl in a tiny voice.
Maggie hugged the little girl close, kissing her hair. She picked her up again.
"Oh sweetie, no one, nothing, can come between your mama and me, okay? You hear me, kid? Nothing." the brunette tried to reassure Mia.
Mia circled the woman completely and the detective could tell the little outburst tired the kid out.
"So you're never gonna leave us?" asked Mia sleepily.
Maggie felt her heart opening and closing itself. It was a loaded question from an innocent child. It was soon, so soon in their relationship, but Alex and her were never good with the rules of time or space.
"No, sweetie. Never." swore Maggie, throwing caution to the wind.
Next chapter, maggie being called mommy I promised! Hope you liked this one anyway!
Chapter 5: Mommy
Not even gonna mention what happened this week and how my weak heart took it. Let's keep living in the land of denial shall we?
Here's the chapter we've all been waiting for. Hope you'll like it. It's a bit rushed because I really wanted to get this out.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Alex and Maggie had been together for eight months when the agent got hurt during a mission. Jonn called the brunette during her shift around three o'clock, telling her that Alex had been tossed around by an alien and that she had been poisoned. Maggie felt like her heart was ten feet in front of her as she jumped on her feet and ran out of the precinct. She could hear the man, still on the phone, telling her that they already gave her an antidote, thanks to Eliza Danvers and Lena Luthor, and that Alex had multiples bruised ribs. The agent still hadn't woken up. Apparently, it was normal and the woman simply needed rest, but it only increased Maggie's worries.
The detective wanted to drive right away to the DEO to see her girlfriend, but she knew she had to calm down and get Mia from Kindergarden. The thought of the little girl managed to get Maggie to breathe properly, knowing that no matter how wrecked she was, she had to be strong in front of little Mia.
Maggie walked into the DEO, holding Mia in her arms, still struggling to keep her emotions in check while the little girl kept asking questions about her mom. Thankfully, Eliza came and saved her, bringing Mia to the med bay, explaining everything to her in a low calming voice. The noises around the room were a bit blurry to the detective as she walked to where the love of her life was, ignoring Winn and Jonn talking in the control room and Lena comforting Kara, who was sitting on the floor beside Alex's room.
She stopped in front of the glass door, seeing Alex still sleeping, fer face too pale with a forming bruise on her jaw. Maggie swallowed and forced her heart to not go awry. She tried to not think back of the time she didn't even knew when Alex was hurt. How she had been shaking with worry in the middle of the night, wondering if the agent had been able to get home okay that day. How she had been able to go back to sleep only after a cigarette and a glass of scotch.
The detective shook her head, pushing away the memories as she watched Eliza rubbing Mia's back as the little girl was looking at her mom with teary eyes. Then the blonde woman nodded, listening to her granddaughter and slipped out of the room, placing a hand on Maggie's elbow.
"She's asking for you, darling." sighed Eliza "But if you need a moment alone, I can go back in there and..."
"No, it's okay, she's exactly what I need right now" cut Maggie with a raw voice.
The brunette got inside the room, the situation getting even more real as Alex still didn't moved. She knew ultimately the woman would be okay, but the fear that had rised in her chest when she received that phone call was still in her veins.
"Maggie!" whimpered Mia, lifting her arms up.
The detective silently took the little girl in her arms and sat herself down on the chair, hugging Mia tightly against her. Her own tears slid down her cheeks, not being able to stop them anymore as Mia sobbed in her chest. Maggie finally pulled back slightly, raising the kid's head to look at her in the eyes.
"Hey, listen to me Mia, mama is gonna be fine. She's the strongest woman I know, she's gonna be okay and will be back on her feet pretty soon to tell us to not leave the Legos on the living room's floor." reassured Maggie, smiling wetly.
Mia wiped her tears with her fist and looked back to her mother.
"Everyone says she's strong," started to say Mia, pausing because of a hiccup "but she's not aunty Kara...she can get hurt!"
Maggie's heart tightened as the little girl said exactly what she had told the older Danvers sister, multiples times the first time they were together. The detective drew circles on Mia's back, trying to get her to breathe evenly as she saw the sorrow on the kid's face. The girl was frowning, as if she had been betrayed, feeling like everyone lied to her.
"You're right sweetie, mama can get hurt. But your mom is strong anyway, not because of a superpower, but because she's smart, because she's the best at what she does and because she want to help people. She's specially strong because she loves hard and know that she is loved just as much. Everyone here have her back. Your grandma and your aunt Lena already fixed her. Now, your mom only need to rest, but she will woke up soon and will be so happy to see you."
The brunette kissed the kid's head, buying her nose in her hair. Mia finally turned to her, wiping the woman's cheek.
"If she will be okay, why are you crying?" she asked with a tiny voice.
Maggie laughed and kissed Mia again, on the forehead.
"Because sweetie, I was scared when I heard that your mama was hurt. It's okay for you to be scared too, just know she'll be fine." explained Maggie, hoping she was saying the right thing.
Mia put her head on Maggie's shoulder and played with her hands nervously.
"Can I sleep beside her?" she asked again, her voice cracking.
The detective hesitated, not wanting to worsen Alex's injury. Maggie sighed and got up, laying the girl beside her mother's hip.
"Just be careful Mia, okay? Mama's ribs are sore right now and we can't touch them." Maggie told the girl.
Mia placed her head on Alex's arm, her little hand caressing her mom's skin. The brunette smiled at the gesture as she played herself with the little girl's hair. Then Maggie laced her fingers with the redhead, not able to not touch her anymore, bending down to kiss them.
"What is it, babygirl?" questioned Maggie noticing, Mia was still frowning, eyeing her.
"What would happened if mama wasn't okay?" she whispered as they were standing so close.
Maggie swallowed, her stomach lurching itself at the very idea of Alex Danvers not being in this world. She then wondered if the girl was asking her about death and afterlife.
"What do you mean, sweetie?" Maggie managed to ask.
Mia looked down at her mom's hand tucked softly into Maggie's.
"What would happened to me?" Mia tried again. "Most of my friends have two parents. Jack's mommy died last year and but his dad still takes care of him. And I have mama...but if she..."
The little girl struggled, starting to cry again. Maggie was quick to wipe her tears as the kid didn't seemed to be five years old anymore.
"Baby, I'll always be there for you." declared Maggie strongly but softly "You never have to worry about that, Mia. I'm never letting you go. You're stuck with me."
Mia reached out, sniveling, hugging Maggie.
"I love you, Maggie" said Mia for the first time.
The detective laughed through her tears. She could have never imagine what it would feel like to be loved like this. By a kid. By Alex Danvers's kid, no less.
"I love you too Mia Danvers. So much."
Maggie tried not to think of the fact that it was in this very room, that Alex and her, had told each other I love you for the first time. She couldn't help but be fascinated that everything about them seemed to be a full circle thing.
It had been three weeks that Alex wasn't working and she was going out of her mind. Sure, she couldn't be in the field but she didn't get why she couldn't at least stay in the lab. The only thing that stopped her from going against Jonn's orders was the image of her daughter and her girlfriend's faces when she had woke up.
Right now, Maggie was running after Mia in her apartment as Alex was sitting on the couch with a pack of ice on her ribs. They were healing nicely, but a bit too slowly to the agent's liking.
It was getting late and the detective had giving Mia her bath, but the little girl refused to put on her pyjama. Maggie was living with them at the moment to help Alex take care of herself and Mia. The redhead was annoyed at first, not liking that people thought she couldn't take care of her daughter but the truth was, she needed the help and Mia loved Maggie.
Alex smiled as she watched her two favorite girls running around. The brunette finally cought the girl and flew her to the couch sitting her beside her mother.
"I swear you're harder to catch than the perps I chased in the streets!" Maggie teased as she tickled Mia.
The agent never heard her girl laughed this much. She couldn't help but blame herself for not being adequate enough to give her daughter the light life that she deserves. She watched Maggie throwing her back laughing at she tried to put on Mia's shirt and she told herself for the thousand times that she should have fought harder for this woman.
Maggie must have felt her torment because slowly, her laugh quiet down and she finished dressing up Mia.
"Okay, sweetie, time for you to say goodnight to mama, it's time for bed." Maggie announced.
Mia groaned then yawned, not able to stop it. Alex laugh at her girl and dropped a few kisses on her cheeks, her nose and her head, before hugging her, not too tight, to not hurt her ribs.
"I love you babygirl. So, so, much." Alex whispered
The little girl opened her eyes, looking up at her mom. They shared a moment, silently, Maggie watching them with a wide smile.
"I love you too mama." replied Mia with the same tone.
She dropped her head back to her shoulder, almost falling asleep, but Maggie picked up carefully to not startle her.
"I'll put her down and then it's your turn for a bath, love." the brunette told her quietly with a wink.
Alex sighed as her girls disappeared behind Mia's bedroom door. She hated feeling useless, not being able to help the DEO in any way, not being able to tuck her daughter in and not able to do anything with Maggie. After spending so much time apart, she always felt like she needed to catch up. And she knew the woman missed Gertrude. The dog was with Renee and her wife at the moment and Alex felt selfish for having Maggie, for herself, at her apartment full time. And deep down, she loved it. She loved that the woman was there when she woke up, loved that she cooked her and Mia a decent breakfast before driving her daughter off to school. She loved it and she was scared of it. She was scared that eventually, it would scared Maggie away.
The agent sighed and got up slowly, putting her ice pack on the kitchen counter, before walking to the bathroom. She sat down on the toilet and played with the knob, letting the water pour out. She stood up again, unbuttoning her plaid shirt.
Maggie knocked softly on the open door, announcing herself. She got inside, closing, not completly the door behind her. Without saying a word, she took off Alex's shirt, smiling at her gently. She then kneeled in front of her with a smirk, slidding down her gray soft jogging pants. She lifted the agent's feet, one by one, taking off her pants and underwear. Maggie kissed the lengh of her legs with no purpose, except trying to ease her girlfriend's mind from whatever thoughts she was having. She kissed her stomach with the utmost care, before getting up.
She bent down, turning off the hot water and then, turned to Alex, to help her get in. She waited until the woman was settled in until she asked:
"Can I come in?"
Alex didn't opened her eyes but smiled at her. Maggie took off her clothes and sat in front of Alex in the bath. She took the washcloth on the floor beside her and dug it into the warm water. She soaped the cloth, before washing the redhead's legs, slowly, massaging her. The tall woman let out an appreciative moan, making Maggie smiled.
The detective wanted to ask what was on her girlfriend's mind, but she didn't wanted to ruin the calm surrounding them. Alex finally opened her eyes when Maggie washed her hands and dropped a kiss on the agent's knee.
"I love you, you know that?" whispered Alex with teary eyes.
Maggie frowned at the heavy look in her beautiful brown eyes.
"Of course I do, baby. I love you too." answered the brunette.
Alex shook her head with a despicating laugh.
"I hate feeling useless." said the agent.
The detective let the washclothes sink in the water as she put her hands on the redhead's legs.
"You're not useless, Al, you're hurt." corrected Maggie with soft, serious tone.
The agent bit her lips, her eyes looking down at herself.
"You'd tell me if it was too much?"
"If what is too much, Danvers?" Maggie asked.
Alex waved her hand around, shrugging, before wincing at the move.
"Living here, cooking dinners, driving Mia to school, all of it."
Maggie's heart tugged in her chest. She reached out, carefully pulling Alex to her, sitting the woman in her lap, her legs beside. She cradled the redhead's face, forcing her to meet her eyes.
"I need you to hear me when I say this: I'm here. I always will be. It's not too much, Alex. It's everything I want. I love you and I love Mia. You got nothing to worry about."
The redhead placed her elbow on Maggie's shoulder, then laid her fronthead on her palm.
"But it's not what's only on your mind, is it?" insisted Maggie.
Alex sobbed suddently, her whole body shaking, worrying the brunette she'd damaged her ribs. The detective was starting to panic, not understanding what was the cause of her distress. She tried to be patient as Alex hugged her tightly.
"How do you not hate me?" finally said between hiccups.
Maggie pulled back suddently at her girlfriend's words, not expecting this. She caressed Alex's cheek softly.
"Hey, I could never hate you, Al. Where is this coming from?" Maggie whispered, not daring to talk too loud.
"Because I hated myself. I did. For a long time. For what I did to you, to us. And now, I got hurt and you're here for me, but I wasn't there for you..."
The detective bit her lips, knowing what Alex was referencing to. She had hesitated to tell Alex that story of the night Gertrude and her had found each other. The redhead had wanted to know, but now Maggie was regretting it. She thought she had managed to comfort her that night, but it seemed Alex had kept feeling guilty.
"It's okay, Al, it's okay." Maggie tried to soothe her.
Alex shook her head slowly and heavily, grasping on her the brunette's shoulder.
"It's not okay, Mags. It never was. I barely functioned without you. I mean I did because I had to, but I did everything on autopilot...I just...I needed you so much. It was only when I found Mia that I felt like I didn't broke both of our hearts for nothing."
Her body shook violently again and Alex whimpered out of pain. Maggie rushed to still her hips against herself.
"Okay, baby breathe. Breathe. Please Alex, I know it's not easy, but you need to let this go. You need to forgive yourself, because even though there's nothing to forgive...I forgive you." Maggie said vehemently with tears in her eyes.
The past was never truly the past, it was a part of them. Their hearts had reshaped themselves that night, just like it had the day they met again. Their love never faltered, sometimes maybe wavered, between regrets, pain and memories, but their love for each other was never something negative, never something bad. It had helped them keep going, even through the darkest times and all the whys.
Maggie couldn't believe it was already a year that she was back in Alex's life. She couldn't believe how happy she had been. It was already Mia's sixth birthday and this year, Alex and Maggie invited most of Mia's friends, some of their parents coming along with them.
The agent maneuvered her way through the running kids, carrying empty plates and ripped wrapping gift papers to the trash can. Maggie watched her with a smile, thinking back to that house for sale, she saw last week driving past the neighborhood to get Alex from the DEO. She wanted to show it to Alex, thinking that the two story blue house with the white picket fence and the secluded backyard was perfect for them.
The detective started to walk toward her girlfriend when Mia ran past Ronnie's mother, pushing the woman into Maggie.
"Mia, be careful, sweetie!" Maggie called out.
They really needed a house, she thought with a smile. She stilled Ronnie's mom with a hand in her back.
"Are you okay? Mrs. Collins, right?" Maggie asked her.
The older blonde woman laughed and patted the brunette's shoulder, reassuring her.
"Oh yes, I'm alright, don't worry. Ronnie has two steps-brother, I know what it's like to have a constant tornado in the house."
Maggie laughed politely with the woman.
"Mia is a adorable smart kid," Mrs.Collins added "she totally has her mother's look!"
The detective felt the blonde woman's eyes on her.
"Oh! No, actually Mia is Alex's daughter" corrected Maggie uneasily. "I'm not her mom..I'm.."
Something didn't feel right with what she was saying so she shut up, swallowing the rest of her drink. Mrs. Collins shook her head and waved her hand.
"It's okay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed." apologized the woman.
"It's all good." Maggie said before leaving the woman.
She looked out for Mia, suddently needing to see the little girl. It was getting late and she knew the girl would be tired soon after the day of excitment. She had already unwrapped her gifts and a few kids were dozing off on the couch or in their parent's arms.
She found her in Alex's arms, her head tucked in the redhead's chest. She frowned, noticing that the little girl looked upset. She walked closer to them, but the second the brunette reached Alex, Mia ran away to her room, closing the door behind her.
"What happened?" she asked, surprised. The girl looked so happy just a few minutes ago.
The agent shook her head, biting her lips.
"I don't know, she came to me, crying and wanted everyone to leave. She said she just wanted to be with me."
Maggie listened intently, still not understanding. Alex sighed as the brunette rubbed her back.
"I'll check on her, you get rid of everyone." Maggie said, starting to walk away.
Alex catched her, twirling her around with a small smirk.
"I'm not a people person either, Sawyer." recalled her the redhead.
The brunette smiled and kissed her a brief moment.
"The only kid I like is yours Danvers, so I'll take care of her, while you take care of them, okay?" said Maggie pointing at her with a smirk of her own.
Alex winked at her and Maggie turned around, rejoining Mia in her room. The girl's back was facing her. The woman sat on the bed, her hand reaching out to Mia's shoulder.
The little brunette shrugged away taking Maggie by surprise. She pushed her hair away from Mia's face and saw that the girl was holding that purple monkey she had gave her a year ago.
"Hey, sweetie, how are you feeling?" Maggie started softly.
The girl was still not answering her, so the detective tried a different approach, knowing that sometimes just like her and Alex, she needed time before being able to voice what was wrong.
"You liked all your presents today, Mia?" asked Maggie.
Mia shrugged again and the brunette suppressed a sigh.
"How about I give you mine, huh?" Maggie reached into the nightstand beside her, taking out a squared wrapped gift.
She put it on the little girl's hip, but she still didn't moved.
"Hum, actually, it's a book that I asked a friend to custom made for you. I know how much you love your mama's adventure and mine as bedtime stories so...this one is how your mom and I met." Maggie swallowed, completly nervous. "Do you want me to read it to you?"
Mia finally reacted, though Maggie would have prefered if she didn't.
"Why would I want to? It's not like you're my mom!" snarled Mia in a high tone voice.
Maggie felt her heart dropped down to her feet. She couldn't breathe for a moment, feeling the need to cry.
"You're...you're right kid, I just...I'll just..I'll send you your mama okay, sleep tight beautiful."
The brunette left a barely there kiss on Mia's head and left the room. Alex lifted her head, looking at her, closing the door behind the last guest. Maggie rushed to take her leather jacket and put it on. Alex reached out to her, stopping her.
"Hey, what's wrong? Did she say anything?" Alex asked.
"No, she really just want you Danvers, that's all." Maggie shook her head, building her walls up "Listen, my boss called me, apparently there's something going on, I need to go in. I'll call you tomorrow okay?"
She kissed Alex on the cheek and left, leaving a dumbfounded Alex behind.
Maggie was awoken the next morning by her phone. She grunted and took it in her hand, blinking at the sudden harsh light. The brunette sighed, seeing it was her girlfriend calling. She guessed Alex figured out that there wasn't any emergency last night and that she was pissed that she left when her daughter was upset.
Her daughter. Just when Maggie thought the three of them could be the family she would never lose, just when she thought they could have a future in that blue house she saw, her hope, her dream was crushed again. Maggie cleared her throat to avoid crying again.
"Danvers?" she answered the call.
She frowned hearing a few short breath.
"It's me" said a small voice.
Maggie stood up fast in her bed, hearing Mia sniffing.
"Mia? Are you okay? Is Mama alright?" asked the detective franctically as she got out of her bed.
"Yes, mama is okay. She's sleeping, but you're not here." Mia sadly said.
The brunette sat back down, dejected.
"It's because of me?" she heard the girl says.
"No babygirl, not at all, dont think that, okay..." Maggie was quick to reassure, pinching her nose.
"Then why weren't you there when I woke up mommy?"
Maggie's heart broke and mend itself in a matter of seconds. She swallowed a sob, a smile breaking it.
"Oh baby..it's what you wanted for your birthday, isnt? For me to be your mom?" the brunette asked.
She heard some movement on the other side.
"I can't see you, sweetie." Maggie reminded the girl.
"Yes." Mia answered with a confident voice. "Where are you mommy?"
The detective smile again, wiping tears of happiness slidding down her cheek.
"Baby, I'm gonna hang up, okay?I..."
"NO!" cutted Mia, crying.
"Mia, I gotta hang up so I can come home, okay? Don't worry, I'll be here in ten minutes. " swore Maggie.
The brunette heard the little girl breathe, reassuring her.
"You promise?" she insisted.
Maggie smiled once more.
"Yes, Mia, I promise babygirl."
Maggie parked her car in front of Alex's building. She look out her apartment's window, seeing Mia watching the street intently. She waited for the road to be free of cars before rushing out to enter the building. She literally ran up the stairs. She took her keys out of her jacket.
She finally opened the door and Mia ran to meet her.
Maggie kneeled on the floor and catched her, hugging her tightly against her chest. She kissed Mia's hair and hid her tears in her hair.
"I'm here baby, I'm here. Breathe okay, just breathe." Maggie whispered as the girl cried.
The detective opened her eyes, hearing Alex's bedroom door being opened.
"Mia? Maggie? Is everything, okay?" asked the agent, tying her bathrobe.
Maggie lifted herself up along with the girl still wrapped around her. Alex got closer to them, taking in the dried tears on both of the brunettes's face.
"Yeah, everything is perfect, Danvers. Everything is perfect."
Did you liked it? Tell me if you did, comments always make my day!
Next will be probably be the shot from the past, how Maggie and Gertrude met. I hinted enough about it...just don't know when I'll update, I need to work on To know we're good enough
Prompts are accepted!
Chapter 6: Eternally grateful, Gertrude
How Gertrude and Maggie met. A week after chapter three.
So, there's this whole debate going on about taking sides(Alex's or Maggie's) can we just agree that the show did this to them? They put the words in Alex's mouth and they were cruel to Maggie? I hope that I did my best in this story to respect both's point of view. What matters is seeing that the others had a different desire at some point and respecting it and from that...you work together to make it work if that's what you want. The show didn't wanted this for Sanvers, but we do. So let's accept everybody's take on that and respect people's work. We're all in this together people, let's not let them divide us even further, okay? Who's with me?
Just a reminder that I'm no doctor, no psychologist, hell I've never been drunk so all of this is just speculation. Sorry for the slightly more depressed chapter in the holidays period. I am working on a light shot! Also want to thank everyone for giving me ideas, suggestions, encouragement.
As always I'm not quite satisfied with this, so, let's hope you'll like it!
Probably have some triggers in this. But nothing happens. It should be okay, but you guys let me know. Mentions of blood.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
A week after that first dinner Alex had with both Mia and Maggie, the agent thought she was literally on a cloud. Maggie and her were saying I love you again. Were kissing again. Were making love again. She couldn't get enough of her. She didn't recalled the last time she had been this utterly happy. It was probably when Mia had called her mama for the first time, seeing how comfortable the little girl had became with her.
Mia was with her grandma at the moment, back at Alex's apartment. Eliza was visiting her girls for the weekend and wanted to see Maggie again the next day over brunch. Alex was afraid it might be too soon but the detective had agreed to it, saying she had missed the oldest Danvers woman.
Alex knocked on Maggie's door slowly with a sly smile. The small woman opened the door with a beaming smile, tugging the agent by her jacket, kissing her soundly. Alex tried to stop smiling to kiss her properly. Maggie pulled back slightly, keeping the other woman close.
"I came bearing gifts" announced Alex in a low voice, biting her lips.
Maggie lifted an eyebrow up, her deep brown eyes shining, curious. Alex took her arm out from behind her back, holding the little flower bouquet, attached to a ribbon which was rolled around a piece of paper.
"It's cheesy, I know, but Mia draw you a picture and I didn't wanted the kid to win more points than me." joked Alex, shrugging.
The detective laughed, kissing Alex again, before taking the flowers out of her hands.
"You're in a league of your own, Danvers." Maggie teased, shaking her head.
Alex couldn't stop looking at her as Maggie walked behind the kitchen counter to retrieve an empty bottle of wine. The agent knew that Renee had spent an evening with Maggie this week. The redhead was happy that her girlfriend had people looking out for her. Maggie rinsed the bottle before putting the flowers in them.
The agent laughed and shook her head, leaning on the counter. She should have guessed that the brunette didn't had any vase. She watched Maggie carefully as the smaller woman hung the drawing on her fridge. Alex came beside her, eyeing her reaction.
"Alex this is adorable." Maggie said with a small smile.
Mia had draw Maggie in a cop uniform with Gertrude sitting beside her. They could see how careful Mia had been at reproducing the detective and her dog.
"Yeah, you like it?" Alex still asked with raised eyebrows and wide eyes.
Maggie tipped her head toward the woman, squinting at her.
"Did you draw this, Danvers? Because you look pretty nervous..." questionned Maggie playfully.
Alex snorted, bumping her shoulder into Maggie's with a "Shut up, Mags.''
The detective turned toward the taller woman, circling her neck with her arms.
"Try not to worry so much, babe" sighed Maggie.
The agent nodded, kissing her girlfriend's head.
"You know it's not you I'm doubting, right? I knew the first time we got together you were pretty damn near perfect."
Maggie looked down at the floor for a moment. She and Alex had talked before about how much it had hurt Maggie deeply when she had broke things off. How it had made Maggie feel like she wasn't enough. But Maggie hadn't told her how bad things had been. She knew Alex wanted to know it all, but the detective wasn't sure if it was a good idea. She didn't wanted the tall woman to take it all on herself, as Alex did so well too many times.
The brunette ignored the little storm forming in her stomach and rised on her tiptoe instead, to pull the agent down in a burning kiss.
Maggie was laying, naked, on her stomach on her bed, as Alex was roaming over her, her gentle fingers caressing lightly every inch of her skin. They had already made each other come twice and now Maggie was resting comfortably as her girlfriend kept mapping her body. She trailed her fingertips from the back of her leg to her shoulder blade, letting out a deep breath causing Maggie to shiver. Her hand came over her ribs, her upper body slightly turned toward her and Maggie catched Alex's wrist a bit too harshly before her hand could touch the scar on her stomach. Alex's eyes got wide out of surprise and Maggie soften her hold, caressing her pulse with her thumb.
"Sorry, it's just..of all the scars that I have. This is the one that I hate the most."
Alex swallowed and tried to relax, sitting down beside Maggie, pushing her beautiful hair away from her face.
"Why?" she asked in such a quiet voice, Maggie barely heard her.
The brunette shrugged and looked into her lover's eyes.
"Because I almost died when I got it"
Maggie's head was pounding as the music kept blasting into the place. The woman thought that getting drunk in a noisy place would be better than an empty apartment, but it was just as bad, as pathetic. Maggie swallowed the sixth shot and turned the glass down slowly on the bar. She didn't wanted to go back to the place she was renting. Her boxes were mostly still packed even after five months of being kicked out of Alex's appartment. Their appartment. Or so she thought.
She shook her head. Alex didn't kicked her out. Her parents did that. But not Alex. Her parents couldn't stand the idea of what their daughter was, but Alex loved her. She knew that she did. But she simply wasn't enough. Again. It was just as bad, if not worst. She didn't wanted to see this as an abandonment, another one, but she couldn't help how she felt.
As always, when the redhead crepted her way into the detective's mind, Maggie took out a pack of cigarettes out of her leather jacket. She trew a couples of twenty on the bar before getting up and stumbling her way through the exit's door at the back of the club. She lighted up her cigarette, letting the smoke invade her mouth and exhaled slowly, letting the relief overcome her. She hated the taste of it but it was better than remembering the taste of Alex's tongue in her mouth. It was better to smell the smoke than remembering the scent of the soft skin beneath the redhead 's jaw.
Maggie growled, throwing the cigarette away and kicked her tires, almost falling to the ground, inebriated. She laughed curtly at herself. At how pathetic she had become. She fumbled, holding herself to the top of her car when she heard a soft whining. She lifted her head up slowly, eyeing the dark alley beside the building. She blink, trying to see something through the mist of her mind. She thought that maybe there was a dark shape over there when someone grabbed her and turned her around harshly, pushing her into her car.
She grunted and lifted her hands up to fight back but her arms were weak and the man was heavy against her. She tried to not panic, swearing at herself for drinking too much. The man was older than her and white, awfully pale, his dark eyes bloodshot. He had a knife at her throat. Maggie heard a low growling behind her, as if it was warning her.
"Give me your money now, bitch or I'll gut you!" the man snarled, showing his rotten teeth.
Maggie could have puke at the smell. Clearly the man wanted money to buy drugs.
"Look man, I can help you, okay? I'm a cop, I can find a place for you..." Maggie tried to say but she kept slurring. Quite some help she could give, she thought.
The man pushed her once more against the car door. Maggie was getting irritated as the man patted her jaw with his knife.
"You're a fucking pig?! Forget the money, you know what I like to do to pigs like you?" he retorted rubbing his hips against Maggie's.
The brunette felt the bile in her throat. God, no. She wouldn't let him do that. With every strength she had left, she pushed him away and kicked him in the stomach. She took her phone out to call for back up but the man was already up. She avoided the first hit but was too slow as she grabbed his hand, the one with the knife, that was now deep in her stomach.
She fell back against the car, grunting as the pain froze her in place. The man smiled at her, pulling the knife back and came to move but a dark shape jumped at him with a loud growl, his jaw locking on the man's arm. Maggie slid down to the hard floor, blinking the tears as she watched the man running away. She tried to keep her breathing steady as her savior scampered back to her.
She saw a black dog walking toward her, sitting close to her lap, whining, it nose poking her stomach. Maggie kept a hand on her wound, the other caressing carefully the dog's head.
"Hey buddy?" Maggie started to say, her voice raw "Whatcha doing here?"
She scratched the pup's neck, noticing the absence of a collar.
"Ohh girl, were you abandonned? Hmm, were you abandonned too?" Maggie whimpered through her tears.
The dog lifted her eyes and Maggie's heart stopped. They were a whiskey brown. She had stared into those eyes before, kissed their eyelids as the sun was blaring through the window. Stared into them as they were making love, as they were talking, laughing. Was supposed to stare at them forever.
Maggie lost consciouness.
Maggie was lying in front Alex in their large bed, back at their apartment. They were simply looking at each other.
"I don't want to go" Maggie whispered painfully.
"I don't want you to go either" whispered back Alex.
The brunette frowned at her former fiancée's words.
"But you told me to. You told me you couldn't be with me." recalled 'Maggie slowly.
Everything seemed to be slow here. Everything was so bright, too much light was coming into the white room, shining over the white sheet. Alex kept smiling as if the detective hadn't said anything. She couldn't help but see how beautiful Alex was. How perfect. How happy she seemed to be. With her.
"I don't want to leave this place" repeated Maggie, her voice breaking.
Alex finally sighed, caressing the brunette's cheek. Maggie exhaled at the touch, feeling the agent's forever soft skin on hers.
"Maggie. You said you didn't wanted this." refuted the taller woman.
The detective heard a child laughing and running in the other room. She turned her head toward the open floored apartment but didn't saw anyone. She looked back to Alex, her heart thumping loudly.
"I said I wanted you. I'll always do. I didn't wanted to leave, baby. And I don't want to go now either." Maggie insisted.
"Maggie, I don't want you to go either. But right now, you have to. You have to hold on." Alex said, more serious than ever, as she grabbed Maggie's hair.
The brunette heard a dog barking in a faint distance. Maggie wondered if the dog was in the living room with the child.
"What?" asked Maggie slowly, confused by everything.
Alex was leaning on her elbow, now in agent mode, her grip solid.
"You have to hold on, okay? Hold on until I get to you."
Maggie felt the redhead slipping away. She kept hold on her arms, her heart beating so loudly she didn't heard the dog jumping on the bed. She seeked Alex's eyes.
Maggie woke up, the black dog licking her face. She met her eyes again and started crying, sobbing fully. Then the physical pain overcame the emotional one. Looking at her wound, she saw her blood covering the major part of her shirt and that was now flowing to her jeans. Here she was dying in the back alley of a club. Nobody would care if she died. Nobody would know.
Hold on til I get to you, she heard again. The dog kept biting her arm softly, making sure she stayed awake.
She whimpered, frustrated and tired. Her fingers roamed around and found her cellphone. She called 911 before blacking out again.
Alex's face was buried into Maggie's stomach, hiding her tears from her girlfriend.
"I was there dying and I thought nodoby would need to be notified and I thought of you and I knew you'd find out...I couldn't do that to you. And I couldn't do that to myself."
Maggie paused as she caressed Alex's hair.
"When I woke up a few days later, they told me I had needed a blood transfusion because I had almost died bleeding out. They told me I was lucky and that I would made a full recovery. My captain came to see me and told me that a young captain in another precinct had requested me to work for her."
The redhead wiped her tears discreetly.
"Yeah. She told me that the ambulance found me with Gertrude howling beside me. The doctors told her that she ran after the ambulance and stayed by the hospital's door for the whole time I was there. And Rene told me about the new job. She wanted me to do a few undercover assignments. Said she'd help me get back on my feet. Told me to focus on my career. And I did. I went back home with Gertrude and I did a therapy."
Maggie was staring at everything around her, everything except the blonde woman sitting in front of her, legs crossed. The woman smiled and sighed patiently.
"How about we start with...Why are you here?'' the woman said with kindness.
The brunette brushed her hands over her knees, letting out a deep breath.
"I'm here because I almost died...because I was too drunk to be alert and...too busy trying to forget my pain. I'm here because I lost the love of my life and now I have to live without her."
"And so with Gertude, I started to run again, started to take care of myself again and it felt really really good. I mostly worked at Renee's precinct and did some undercovers jobs. Those were fun. I was in a group of dancers once." Maggie laughed.
Alex smiled, seeing how far Maggie had come. She looked at the scar again and wished it was on her body instead.
"So I started living again. I wasn't hung on up on you anymore or waited for you because I knew that...if it was meant to be, it was meant to be. And thankfully, my therapist agreed." Maggie continued.
"I tried so hard to fight it" Maggie sighed as she sat down on the couch again. "To fight my feelings for her."
She was pacing for the last ten minutes, retelling Mrs. Alice why it hadn't worked on the latest date Renee had set her up to. The blond woman readjusted her glasses, leaning forward , her elbow on her knee.
"Maybe that's the problem. Maybe you should stop fighting it." she proposed wisely.
Maggie eyed her, frowning.
"Excuse me?" she asked, shocked.
Mrs. Alice smiled at her reaction and sat back on her chair more comfortably.
"You heard me. Seems to me like you want to keep loving her, seem like you can't really stop yourself, so why does my suggestion of keeping doing so shock you?"
Maggie shook her head, still dumbfounded.
"I thought you therapists were all about moving on and not holding on to the past." Maggie explained slowly.
The woman nodded, listening.
"Hm, when it's toxic for the patient sure. Which it was at first, but you are now focus on the present, on your job, your friends, your dog. You cut out on the drinking, you stopped smoking. They're all sign of progress. And it's different for everyone and in this case, from what you told me, you guys were actually good to each other. Helped each other. You did told me that when you lost consciousness after you got stabbed, you dreamed of Alex and it helped you holding on since, right?"
Maggie sat there, taking in everything Mrs.Alice just said and something close to relief overcame her.
"As long as you know that you can do this on your own, I don't see why you can't still use her as any type of support. So stop trying to forget your time with her or your love for her. Use it, embrace it. Let it help you. You're taking care of yourself again, the way she'd want you to. And you're doing it for yourself. Maybe one day, it'll all be less painful." the blond kept saying.
The brunette swallowed, tears slidding down her cheek. Tears of joy for once.
"So, I don't have to forget her just yet?" Maggie whispered in her closed fists.
The woman smiled with sincerity all of over her eyes.
"Maggie, you never will. But it doesn't have to be a bad thing, sweetie. It really doesn't have to."
"I stopped forcing things. Renee stopped setting me up with random women. I met a girl though, an alien. She was from Starhaven. She called herself Cassandra. She was in the street and my coworker wanted to arrest her for being at the wrong place, at the wrong time, but I stopped them. I helped her out, found her a shelter. We became really close. I developped an affection for her and had a somewhat of a relationship with her."
Alex turned toward Maggie, wanting to see her as she talked about this woman. Something in her tone had change and Alex could tell that even if Maggie hadn't been in love with Cassandra, she had cared for her.
"But she had a husband and a kid locked up somewhere. I helped her find them and we bid our goodbye."
The agent stayed silent, frowning. She was sad that Maggie had lost yet another person she had gotten close to. She would forever be amazed by the goodness of this woman. She interlaced their fingers and caressed her palm with her thumb.
"After that, I had a few things, but I wasn't really looking for them." Maggie scoffed, shaking her head. "I never initiated anything. They all came to me."
The redhead was surprised once more. Maggie was a damn good flirter, but the woman was so beautiful and captivating, she wasn't shocked that Maggie barely had to do a thing to get women. The agent pushed away her own memories about picking up ladies at some bar.
"Why didn't you go to them?" Alex asked anyway.
Maggie laid down a bit more in the bed to face her.
"They weren't you." she said simply, kissing her nose.
Alex wanted to smile but she felt a weight, the size of a house, sitting on her chest. So she returned Maggie's kiss on her lips for a long time before pulling back. The detective played with the redhead's hair, pushing them behind her ear. She smiled at their naked forms, tangled together.
"Later I had a real girlfriend. On a call, there was a building on fire and like an idiot, I went in. A firefighter saved my life and yelled at me, called me brave and then asked me out." Maggie laughed.
The agent joined her laugh, shaking her head.
"Wow, she was bold." commented Alex.
"Yes, she was. At first I told her no." Maggie informed her "She told me there was no pressure, that we could just go out for a drink. So, we were friends at first and we clicked. It was easy and fun. It was the first time that I felt like I could breathe and not think of you. It was my longest relationship since you and I ended things."
Alex inhaled deeply, reminding herself that Maggie was right here in her arms.
"I'm glad you had her. You deserved that." the agent told her girlfriend sincerely with a small smile. "How long did it last?"
Maggie looked up to the ceiling, thinking.
"7 months." she answered.
"Wow." whistled Alex nodding.
Maggie smiled, then winced.
"Yeah, but then she wanted us to moved in together, to be more serious."
The agent traced her girlfriend's face with the tip of her fingers.
"And why didn't you?" she questionned softly.
Maggie pushed Alex's hair away from her face, sighing. She lifted a knee over the redhead's hip, pulling her even closer.
"I couldn't get you out of my head, out of my body, out of my heart. I couldn't go down that road again, being serious again, making plans for the future...because I still wanted those I made with you."
Alex let the tears fall as she kissed Maggie deeply, thoroughly. She kissed her cheek, then her eyelids, her fronthead, then her nose and her mouth again. They hugged tightly, molding themselves together.
"There was a time," Alex started quietly "I told myself that there had to be someone else out there for me. I tried to hold on to that, but the truth was...all I could think of, was that even if there was someone else for me, I didn't wanted them. I wanted you. And that was when I knew you were it for me."
Maggie rolled over the redhead, kissing her with all the love she had. Alex grabbed the detective's hair, pulling them away from her gorgeous face as she reciprocated the kiss. Maggie's tongue slipped past her lips, finding hers, before a ringtone interrupted them. The agent groaned as the brunette laughed softly, wiping a few remaining tears.
The detective got out of the bed, pulling a shirt over her head before taking her cellphone and locking herself in the bathroom. Alex sighed, sitting up before getting up too, taking one of Maggie's sweater and putting it on. She walked out of the brunette's bedroom, seeing Gertrude on the couch, lifting an ear up, looking at her.
The redhead sat beside the big dog, scratching her behind her ears thoroughly. Gertrude whimpered, licking Alex's neck with satisfaction. The agent smiled and sighed, hugging the dog close to her chest, kissing her head.
"Hey beautiful. Thank you for saving my love, big girl. Thank you for being there for her, for looking out for her when I wasn't. God, Gertrude, I'll eternally be grateful."
Maggie wiped a tear, looking at Alex hugging her dog, thanking her. She would too, be eternally grateful that she had held on.
As always, I appreciate constructive comments :) Tell me what you liked of this, folk!
Chapter 7: Merry Christmas
Belated Christmas shot. Yeah I'm late...so what? Hope you guys will like it! So yeah there's smut...still new to this..be gentle with me.
RATED M (just this one)
I'm sending you all my love folks!
And special shout to MGmt, happy birthday my friend ;)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
"Gertrude, stay." whispered Mia to the big girl before slipping out of bed.
The brown labrador opened an eyelid, eyeing the young girl. She moved to follow the little brunette but Mia turned toward her with a finger raised and a pointed glare.
"I said stay!" she whispered yelled
Her sudden hard composure broke down as the girl sighed and kissed Gertie's fronthead. The big girl didn't moved, confused, as Mia left the room.
Mia was walking down the stairs carefully, her purple monkey plush hanging loosely in a hand, the other holding tight to the rail leading into the living room. It was still dark outside. The seven year old girl looked around, seeing the lighten up christmas tree covered of bright decorations. She quietly walked past the couch, hearing the soft christmas song coming out of the stereo, before stopping abruptly. In front of her stood Santa Claus kissing her mama hardly, backing her up against the kitchen counter. She heard her mama making weird sound.
The little girl froze for a second, already feeling the tears in her eyes, before walking confidently to the duo, kicking Santa Claus as hard as she could, behind his leg.
"Stop it! My mama is with my mommy!" cried out Mia as she punched the man's back with her tiny firsts.
Her mama blinked her eyes open, surprised, as the figure in the red costume jumped, crying out of pain. Mia gasped as Santa Claus turned around, revealing the face of her mom.
Maggie stopped the curse from leaving her mouth, biting her lips. She folded her leg against herself, thinking that maybe Mia should do the tryout for the local soccer team this summer. The brunette almost lost her balance but Alex helped her out, a hand on her shoulder. She glared at the woman who did her best to not laugh and panic. Because their seven year old girl would soon figure out that Santa Claus didn't existed.
"Mommy I'm so sorry! I thought Santa was kissing mama and I got mad..." Mia rambled, wiping her tears away.
Gertrude barked and ran down the stairs, looking around, analysing the scene. Alex stopped her, raising her hand. The dog sat down at the kitchen's threshold, happy that there wasn't any imminent danger. Maggie took off her Santa's hat, trowing it on the counter.
"Hey it's okay sweetie, don't cry. You were looking out for mama and I, that's super sweet, okay?" Maggie reassured Mia, hugging the little girl close.
She lifted Mia up, sitting the brunette on the counter as Alex was rubbing her back in big circles. The redhead kissed her temple.
"Baby, I wouldn't let anyone that isn't Mommy kiss me, okay? And while what you did was very brave, you should know, mommy and I can take care of ourselves. So you never have to worry about that." Alex told the girl confidently.
Maggie smiled at her wife. The redhead caught her eyes and winked at her with a sweet smile. The brunette pushed Mia's hair away from her warm face.
"Why were you dressed like Santa, mommy?" asked Mia.
Both women looked at each other, a little dumbfounded, even though they knew the question was coming.
"Because Santa needed mommy's help, babygirl. He got a lot to do in one night and sometimes Santa ask a few parents to help him out." Alex answered the girl with a smile.
Mia rolled her eyes and lifted her arms up in exasperation.
"Why didn't you just say so?!" the girl retorted with a high pitched voice.
Maggie tried to not laugh, completely surprised by Mia's little outburst while Alex was looking at their daugher with wide eyes.
"We didn't wanted to disappoint you, baby." Alex sighed.
The brunette reached out to her wife, kissing her softly on her shoulder, caressing the small of her back. Mia frowned at her mama.
"Disappointed? That an old man won't come into our house to bring us gifts?" Mia said slowly almost whispering "Mommy, don't you call that...um..break..."
"Breaking and entering" offered Maggie softly with a amused smirk.
Mia lifted her fists up with a smile of her own.
"Yes! Don't you always tell me to not open the door to strangers, mama?" continued the little girl.
Alex and Maggie shared a proud look. Mia had come from a long way. When they had moved in into the house almost a year ago, Mia had been scared to spent the night alone in her room. The little brunette had rejoined the couple multiples times in the first few weeks before they had decorated Mia's bedroom into a stargazing set up. They had even bought and set up a tent, beside a bookcase, in which all of her plush animals were lying in. Mia loved to read in there and in another corner, Maggie had had the idea of creating a mini lab as a workstation, so the little girl would do her homework on it. Alex had cried when Maggie had shared her idea.
"Well, Santa is not a stranger, sweetie." Maggie said, trying to save a bit of her daughter's innocence.
Mia lifted her eyebrow up, crossing her arms over her chest, her purple monkey still in her hand.
"Do we know his secret identity?" Mia pointed out, looking at her moms. "No? Then he's a stranger."
Alex almost wanted to cry. Her baby was too smart. The redhead hid her face in her wife's shoulder.
"Babe, we got a mini detective in the house." she mumbled in a teasing tone.
Maggie smiled as she crouched a bit in front of Mia, her hands beside the little girl. She kissed the girl's nose shortly.
"Mia, sweetie, Santa, just like superheroes, need his identity to be a secret to protect himself and the people he love." reasoned Maggie gently.
Mia looked down at her monkey, obviously thinking hardly.
"Like Supergirl?" Mia asked, tipping her head to the side.
Alex stopped herself from crying once more at the familiar movement. She caressed both of the brunettes's hair, still not believing she got the family she always wanted.
"Yes, sweetie, like Supergirl." confirmed Maggie.
Mia nodded slowly, letting the whole conversation sink in.
"Then aunt Kara should think of a better costume. I mean I didn't know it was Mommy under Santa's clothes, but aunt Kara only wear glasses." Mia told them.
Maggie laughed quietly as Alex rolled her eyes and smiled gently at her girl.
"We'll give aunt Kara your precious advice, baby." assured Alex "Now, what do you say, we drink a nice glass of milk and we go back to bed with Gertie?"
Mia accepted, circling her mother's neck with her arms, already laying her tired head on her shoulder. The little brunette eyed her mommy, reaching out for her. Maggie caught her hand and kissed her daughter's face, hugging her for a moment.
"I'm glad you're my santa, mommy" whispered Mia.
Maggie wondered if Mia's uncomfort about Santa Claus had anything to do with how Mia's biological mother was murdered. A man had indeed entered their appartment in the middle's of the night to collect money.
She was glad Mia had found her and Alex tonight, so she wouldn't be scared anymore. Though she could have be scarred for life if she had found them a little later.
"Goodnight, little Mia, go to sleep. Tomorrow morning, we'll eat pancakes and unwrapped the gifts, okay?" Maggie whispered back, kissing the girl's cheek once more. "I love you, sweetie."
"I love you too, mommy."
Alex turned around, winking and smiling at her wife again, before leaving the room, Gertrude on her heels.
Maggie was sitting on the couch, waiting for Alex to come back downstairs. She had lit up a fire and had took off her Santa's coat, leaving her in a black tank top and suspenders, keeping the soft red pants in place. She closed her eyes, enjoying the quietness of the night.
"How is your leg doing, baby? Do I need to nurse you up or do you downright need Doctor Danvers, right now?"
The brunette laughed, ignoring the blush the redhead was causing.
"I think we did enough costume play for one night." commented Maggie playfully.
She felt long arms slipping over her chest, then her stomach, a hand pushing their way underneath her pants. Maggie moaned softly at the sudden intrusion. Their make out session in the kitchen had left her body tingling with needs.
"Are you sure about that?" susurrated Alex in her ear.
Maggie shivered at the words and at the sudden absence of her wife's skin on hers. She opened her eyes and blinked at the vision in front of her. The redhead was wearing a sleeveless velvet Christmas corset. There were ribbons with bows swaying on her creme thighs. Maggie looked at her wife, up and down, stopping at the smirk on her pink lips. Alex was wearing Maggie Santa's hat on her short brown red hair.
"Was supposed to put on the stocking and the heels but I'm too tired to wear them." explained Alex innocently, wincing.
Maggie shook her head, laughing softly, pulling the woman to her. Alex let out a small shriek, straddling her wife's lap, immediately burying her hands in the brunette's soft hair.
"God, you're perfect, Danvers." breathed out Maggie with a venerating gaze.
Alex kissed her fully, slipping her tongue in the brunette's mouth. Maggie sighed, welcoming it, caressing it with her own. The redhead pulled back sightly, smirking at her wife.
"I believe it's Sawyer-Danvers" corrected Alex with a wink.
Maggie grabbed the redhead's hips, pulling her tightly against her. They both groaned, their center coming into contact together. Alex rolled her pelvis slowly, the brunette hissing at her.
"I don't know, baby" murmured Maggie "You'll always be Danvers to me."
Maggie trailed her lips on the taller woman's neck, leaving open mouth kisses. She bit softly on her collarbone, before soothing the spot with her tongue. Alex's hips bucked against her own, her nose and her fingers hiding in the brunette's hair. Alex pulled Maggie's head back, not too harshly, causing the small woman to look up at her with a mist in her eyes. She felt the warmth in her guts boiling her stomach up.
"And I'll always be your wife." whispered back Alex before kissing Maggie once more.
The brunette tried to follow Alex's fervour, but failed miserably as the other woman played with her. Pushing forward, always slow and hard, pulling back teasingly with a sly smile. She was driving her crazy as her soft hands seemed to be everywhere. The redhead pulled her suspenders before letting them go, pinching her nipples through the tank top.
"Fuck baby..." mumbled Maggie, tightening her hold on her wife's hips. "Maybe um, maybe we should slow down...we wouldn't want Mia to catch us, would we?"
A part of Maggie really didn't wanted the redhead to stop, but another part of her kept glancing at the stairs, expecting her daughter or their dog to appear. Alex slipped off Maggie's hips, kneeling on the floor. With her hands under the brunette's knees, she pulled her slightly toward her. Her mouth ghosting over her wife's breast, she smirked as she saw the hard nipple. She bit them softly through the material, before inhaling, cooling them. Maggie whimpered, her hands in her own hair.
"I don't know Mags, I don't feel like stopping. Beside, the girl gotta find out how babies are made sooner or later, right?"
It wasn't the first time Alex and Maggie had this conversation. Even early in their relationship, when they got back together, Maggie was always afraid that Mia would burst into the room despite Alex's reassurance.
"I'm pretty sure this isn't how babies are made, Danvers." mumbled Maggie as the redhead lifted her head toward hers.
Alex shrugged pulling her into a long hot kiss.
"Semantics." said the taller woman witfully.
Maggie smiled, not knowing why the word sounded so sexy out of the agent's mouth. She pulled back from the couch, cradling the woman's face. She kissed her slowly, first sweetly, then languorously. The redhead whimpered, trying to pull Maggie closer to her. She could feel the brunette's arousal through the layers.
Maggie slipped her hand over Alex's shoulder, feeling the back of her soft corset. She didn't wanted to take it off because she looked so good in it, but she needed to see her wife, now. She was glad to feel that only hooks were holding the piece of cloth together. She kissed the taller woman's jaw then rip the corset open in a strong careful way. Alex jumped, pushing her chest toward Maggie, as she felt the sudden cold covering her pale skin. The redhead's fingers were digging into her wife's strong bicep. They looked at each other's longly, inhaling the tension between them, before rejoining their mouth once more.
Alex crawled back toward the blanket in front of the fireplace, Maggie following her, stucked in a daze. The redhead was still wearing the Santa's hat and Maggie smiled at it. Alex slipped her hands under the brunette's tank top. The smaller woman understood the instructions, pulling down the suspenders before taking off the shirt. Alex slowly put back on the suspenders over her naked shoulder.
"Seems like you have a thing for Santa, Danvers." Maggie smirked.
The redhead bit her lips, trailing her hands over her wife's abs and chest, Maggie shivering.
"No...I have a thing for you in Santa." rectified Alex.
Maggie bent down, her arms on each side of the taller woman's head. She kissed her lips, then under her chin, swirling her tongue down her throat. She trailed down the redhead's chest, blowing on her nipple, before taking it in her mouth fully, pulling it with her teeth, forever slowly and softly. She pressed her right hand on the other breast, feeling the nipple harden against her palm as she squeeze it with the right amount of pressure. Alex moaned in her ear, her own fingers kneading Maggie's skin between her shoulder blade.
The brunette repeated her motion to the other breast, before trailing her mouth down to the edge of the taller woman's underwear, her hands grazing her wife's side. She hooked her fingers around the panties, slidding them down. Not losing any time, she digged her tongue in her woman's heat. She moaned at the taste as Alex breathed out her name. She spreaded the redhead's juices to her clit, circling it with the tip of her tongue. Alex let out a swear, bucking her hips into her wife's face.
Maggie put an arm over Alex's hips, keeping her down, her other hand intertwining it fingers with the redhead's. Alex's free hand was scratching the brunette's neck, trying to pull her closer. Maggie hissed as she licked her clit with long strides, her tongue flat against the bundle of nerves. The redhead was breathing loudly as her wife ate her out, her tongue now entering her as far as she could. She slipped in and out a couple of times before trailing the tip of her tongue over her front walls, her nose slipping messily over her clit.
"Mags, I need more." whimpered Alex.
The brunette slipped out of her, wiping her face on the taller woman's thigh, biting her. Alex gasped as Maggie crawled back to her. With no warning, the brunette grabbed her and rolled over herself, the redhead now on top of her.
"Is this what you want, baby?" Maggie asked as she brushed her fingers on Alex's inner thight.
Alex nodded hastily, Santa's hat still on her head, following the movement. Maggie smirked at how adorable and hot her wife was. The redhead took Maggie's hand, putting in over her sex, her fingers already coated with her heat. The brunette moaned at that, slowly slidding two of her fingers inside Alex. The woman rolled her hips instantly, closing her eyes at the feeling. Maggie also felt the pressure of Alex's movement against her center. She breathed slowly in tandem with her wife.
"Come here" whispered Maggie, tugging on Alex's neck.
The redhead bent down, moaning into the smaller woman's mouth at the new angle. Alex slowed her hips, trying to catch her breath as she deepened her movements. Their chest were brushing against each other, making Maggie snap. She needed to make her come now. She rolled them over once more, putting her whole body into her arm, thrusting into the redhead harder and faster.
Alex slipped her hand into Maggie's pants, underneath her boxer, feeling the smooth muscle of her buttom as she was slidding over her. She digged her nails into the soft warm skin. They were both breathing into each other's mouth, trying to contain their moans as they moved together. Alex put a thight between Maggie's legs.
Maggie kept her ministrations going as she twirled the redhead's clit with her thumb. Alex gasped and rolled her hips franctically. The brunette kissed her deeply, trying to catch her cries, her tongue deep in her mouth. With her other hand, she pinched her left nipple between her finger and her thumb. Alex's back arched off the floor as she came loudly in Maggie's ear. The brunette followed her, biting on her wife's shoulder, slowing her motion. They finally stopped moving, breathing raggedly as Alex caressed Maggie's hair.
"God, I love you Maggie Sawyer." whispered Alex in her wife's ear before kissing it.
Maggie moved beside her, holding her close.
"I believe it's Sawyer-Danvers" corrected the brunette, kissing the tall woman's nose.
Alex laughed, shaking her head.
"That's never getting old" she said softly with a smirk. "When I was a kid, if i was told Santa Claus was looking like you, I would have figured out I'm gay much sooner."
Maggie laughed fully for a moment, pinching her wife's side.
"I don't know, babe. If mama claus had an outfit like you had, nodoby would give a damn about Santa Claus." replied the brunette,
The redhead smiled giddily, laying her head on Maggie's chest.
"Look at us ruining a kid's celebration."
"Who said it was a kid's celebration? Beside you ruined me and my pants in the best way possible, Danvers." snorted Maggie.
Alex leaned on her elbow looking down at her wife with a smirk.
"Yeah, I think I should do something about that" breathed out sensually Alex "Merry Christmas Mrs. Sawyer-Danvers."
Maggie smiled at her, more happy than ever, her dimples out, recalling when Alex had told her she wanted her name too. Saying how proud she was of her, how much she admired her. How much she'd like Mia to become a strong woman like her.
"Merry Christmas, Mrs. Sawyer-Danvers." answered back Maggie, kissing her wife deeply.
They both smiled into the kiss, Alex trailing her hand down toward Maggie's pants. She pulled back for a second, suddently thinking of something.
"Now that Mia knows Santa isn't coming here, you're gonna share those cookies, aren't you?"
Maggie blinked at Alex. Damn the Danvers and their obsession with food.
"Really, Alex? Now?"
"What? Eating you or the cookies, before or after, what does it change?" Alex asked innocently.
The brunette lifted her hands up in exasperation.
"My death, Danvers! I'm dying here!" she complained with a groan.
Alex moved to get up, rolling her eyes amusingly at Maggie.
"So dramatic." commented the redhead, leaving the room slowly.
Maggie lifted herself up on her elbow.
"Get your ass back in here, Alex!" she whispered yelled at her wife.
Alex turned around, wearing nothing but the Santa's hat on her head. She winked at Maggie. The brunette couldn't help but smirk at her.
"Come and get me" breathed out Alex.
"You're so on, Danvers."
Maggie got up, running after her wife who did her best to not laugh too loudly as she ran into the kitchen where it all started. They stopped under the mistletoe to kiss, before Alex ducked out under her arms to grab the cookies. Maggie caught her once more, circling her waist from behind, putting her chin on her wife's shoulder, loving the feeling of their skin against each other. Alex bit into the cookie, giving Maggie the other half. The brunette swallowed it quickly before kissing the redhead's cheek.
"God, I love you too Alex Danvers. Forever."
As always, I'd love to hear what you thought of this!
I'm currently working on another holidays one shot!
Chapter 8: Mommy part 2
Been a while I know! Thanks to all of you who wrote to me and left comments, it means so damn much. It is because of you guys that I wrote more than one chapter for this story.
This is set right after chapter 5. The part in italic is in the past, there's actually smut content in there so skip that if that's not your thing tho you'll miss a few informations about Alex. So maybe try to read after the sex end? (the smut is the actually the one that is implied in chapter 2)
Rated E for the smut
Menations of a panic attacks
Enjoy and drop a comment! I always love to hear your thoughts guys!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
"Yeah, everything is perfect, Danvers. Everything is perfect."
Alex frowned, pushing her hair behind her ears, blinking the sleep out of her eyes.
''Everything is fine, Danvers'' repeated Maggie ''In fact, what do you say, we go to the aquarium today, huh? To end Mia's birthday on a perfect note.''
The redhead noticed how nervous Maggie suddenly seemed to be. The tall woman was simply confused by the scene displaying in front of her. Her daugher was holding tightly to Maggie, hugging her purple monkey close to her chest as she hid her face in Maggie's neck. Alex sighed, knowing how warm her skin was there.
''What do you say, mama?'' Mia piped up with a soft smile ''Can we go with mommy?''
Maggie looked down at the girl, her throat tight, full of happiness and apprehension, because Alex and her hadn't talk about this. The brunette shifted her eyes back to her girlfriend. The agent was stunned, the air abruptly leaving her body.
''Why don't you go ahead in your room, little Mia '' Maggie intervened ''and choose an outfit for the day and one toy to bring with you?''
Mia whimpered, not wanting to let go. Maggie sighed, knowing the girl would be worried for a little while.
''Don't worry, sweetie. I'll be right here when you'll come back. I promise. I'm not going anywhere.''
Alex covered her mouth with her hand, a sob threatening to overcome her. She was getting a bit dizzy and forced herself to breathe, trying to avoid a panic attack. Now was not the time to have an episode. She watched Maggie kissed Mia's forehead and cheek with her most beautiful smile, her dimples out. She carefully put the girl down, hugging her one last time. Mia ran to her room and Maggie lifted herself up, eyeing her worriedly.
''Listen, Al, I know that we never talked about me being Mia's mom and I get that maybe this made you uncomfortable...''
Maggie was cut off as Alex crossed the apartment in three steps and craddled the woman's face in her hands, forever soft, and she kissed her hard and deep. Maggie sighed as the tall woman pulled back slightly.
''It doesn't make me uncomfortable but Maggie...what's going on? Last night you left so promptly and I could tell you were upset and so was Mia, I didn't know what to do...'' the redhead rambled, breathing unevenly.
Maggie laid her hand over her girlfriend's heart and lightly put her forehead on hers, quietly telling her to breathe. She waited the crisis to pass through.
''I'm so sorry Alex, I shouldn't have run, I just...last night, there was a misunderstanding. Mrs. Collins thought I was Mia's mom, I corrected her and Mia must have heard me.''
Maggie shook her head, recalling the girl's face and how upset she was ''When I tried to talk to her, she lashed out at me and told me I wasn't her mom. I just didn't expect it to hurt this much.''
Alex listened to her carefully, seeing how tormented her girlfriend seemed to be by last night's turn of event.
''Anyway, it made me realize that with time, I did started to consider Mia as...my daughter too'' Maggie laughed wetly.
The redhead smiled sweetly at her, touched by her sincerity.
''And I know I'll have to put Mia first...'' Maggie continued before being cut off.
''Yes, you're right, having a kid means exactly that. But we are two,'' Alex smiled, not able to stop smiling, tears blinding her for a second ''so, no pushing your feelings down, remember?''
Maggie swallowed as Alex caressed her cheek with her thumbs.
''What about you?'' Maggie asked softly.
The redhead lifted an eyebrow with a small grin.
''What about me?''
''How do you feel about this, Danvers? I mean, Mia already has a mom and it's you. You've taken care of her since she's two, I get that it must feel weird to suddenly hear your kid call someone else mom.''
Alex inhaled deeply, nodding. Maggie grabbed her hand and they walked toward the dining table, sitting down close, face to face.
''It is new and maybe a bit baffling. Probably will be an adjustment too, but Maggie, it's not sudden and it's not someone else. It's you. It's always been you. All I've ever wanted for Mia, was for her to have a family. Since I have her, I tried to give her the best of me and knowing that you Maggie, want that as well, already do that as well, I can just be happy. Our Mia deserves to have two parents. It was always clear to me that I wanted you to be her mom too.''
Maggie laughed and cried, pulling Alex to her, the redhead sitting on her lap. Alex kissed her temple, glad that her girlfriend was holding her tightly as she felt like she could fly with the amount of love inflating her heart.
The brunette kissed Alex's shoulder with gratitude, then her neck and her pulse point. The tall woman moaned and Maggie jumped from her jaw to her lips, kissing her soundly, the redhead's tongue welcoming hers.
''God, what are you doing to me.'' Alex whispered, pushing Maggie's hair away.
The detective smiled, leaving a small lingering kiss on Alex's cheek.
''I'm making you a promise.''
Alex sighed and reluctantly pulled away from her girlfriend's full amazing lips.
''Maggie'' the agent called her out when the brunette complained and kissed her throat ''Mags, have you thought this trough? Because once Mia calls you mom and that you're getting in on this, I...there's no going back and I don't want my little girl to get hurt. If we don't work out...'' Alex explained.
''Hey don't talk like that...'' Maggie replied, suddenly sad, nudging the redhead's chin with her own.
The agent sighed once more, putting some distance between them.
''We have to, Mags.'' she declared.
Maggie nodded, knowing her girlfriend was right.
''I know and Alex, I did think this through. If for some reason, we don't...we ends things between us or...'' the detective swallowed with difficulty ''something...happens to you...I'll be there. I'll always be Mia's mom. You can trust me.''
Alex took a deep breath, reassured by Maggie's words.
''I fell in love with her so hard, Danvers. Mia, she's...incredible and beautiful. You raised a fine little girl Danvers and I want to be there for her too, for the rest of her life. This last year, getting to know her, spending time with her, I...she showed me that I had what it takes to be a mom, to be her mom.''
Alex smiled and cried too, kissing Maggie once more. She could feel the brunette's warm hands on her hips, her fingers toying with her bathrobe's cord. The redhead shook her head, biting her girlfriend's lips. She couldn't help but buck her hips as Maggie shifted a moan into a loud deep breath.
Maggie pulled away with a beaming smile, looking at her beautiful Alex through her eyelashes. Something caught the corner of her eyes. She shifted her head away and saw little Mia hiding behind the ajar of her bedroom's door. Maggie laughed causing Alex to look toward her daughter.
''Hey babygirl, you can come join us, sweetie.'' the agent called her.
The little girl shyly walked out, her hands behind her back, her monkey trailing down on the floor.
''Everything okay, mommies?'' the six years old asked.
Both women beamed at her as she reached them, still not believing their new reality. Alex got up from Maggie's lap, squinting at Mia.
''Everything's alright, babygirl, but you are not going to the aquarium dressed in pyjama, munchkin!'' Alex teased her little girl, the small brunette running away from her, laughing.
Maggie watched her girls squirming around the apartment, her face hurting from how much she was smiling.
''All right, babe. I'll make my infamous French toast and you girls do whatever it is you're doing.'' Maggie said, getting up.
Alex lifted her head from the couch where she was tickling her daughter and held Maggie's gaze with a warm smile and half relaxed, half excited eyes. The detective felt that a weight was off her girlfriend's shoulders and Maggie swallowed, realizing how stressful it must have been for her to raise Mia alone, knowing the girl only depended on her.
The brunette walked toward the kitchen, her heart heavy and light altogether.
Alex sat down on Mia's bed as she watched her little girl dressed slowly and carefully into her gray comfy pants covered of toucans pattern along with her white t-shirt and her orcher cable cardigan sweater. The redhead eyed her beautiful girl as she kept humming a silly song.
''Baby, you want to talk about what happened last night for a second?'' Alex asked her.
The little brunette froze, her arm stucked in the wrong hole of her shirt. The agent kneeled down on the floor, ignoring the crack of her knees and helped her daughter out.
''Maggie told me that you heard her talk to Mrs. Collins and that her words upsetted you?''
Mia's head appeared as her t-shirt fitted correctly. Her eyes were down and her little pout killed the redhead. She sighed, wishing she had realize sooner the reason behind her daughter's tears.
''She told Ronnie's mommy that she wasn't my mom.'' Mia explained in a small voice.
The girl played with the hem of her shirt and Alex rubbed her girl's arms softly.
''And that hurt your feelings?'' Alex prompted her to continue.
Mia simply shrugged then nodded. Alex pushed her long curly hair away from her face.
''You know baby, you can come to talk to me about this stuff and from now on when you're hurt, you can talk to Maggie too and if you need time that's okay too, sweetie. As long as you know that we are always here for you. We love you so much, Mia. You're allowed to be upset but we gotta know why so we can do our best to fix it. You understand?''
The little girl lifted her head and hugged her mama closed, clinging to her. Alex was surprised by the strength of Mia's hold.
''Are you mad that I called Maggie mommy?'' the girl asked in the nook of her neck.
The redhead's heart broke at how sad Mia was at the idea of hurting her. Alex squeezed Mia against herself before pulling back.
''Of course not, sweetie. I am so happy that you love and trust Maggie like that. You gotta know that Maggie loves you a whole lot babygirl and want to be your mom forever. Is that what you want too? She would be your mom just like I am.''
Alex bit her lips, waiting patiently for Mia to think it through, the little brunette frowning.
''Forever? You and mommy will always take care of me?'' the little girl said.
The redhead nodded, trying to not give in and cry.
''Yes Mia, we'll always be a family.''
Alex could feel the girl's smile against her cheek as Mia lunched herself into her arms.
Maggie looked up from the stove as Alex got out of Mia's room, not closing the door completely behind her. The redhead was smiling and wiping remaining tears. The detective greeted her with a small hey, her fingertips reaching out to the taller woman's back.
''Everything went okay in there? Mia's alright?''
Alex sighed and nodded, bending down to kiss Maggie's eyebrow.
''Yeah? And you? You um...almost had an episode earlier...'' Maggie brought back the agent's avoided panic attack.
Maggie could still remember the first time her girlfriend had one in front of her. It had been a little while after they had found each other again, it had happen during their second first time. The detective remembered it perfectly.
The brunette started walking backward toward her bedroom, her hand linked in Alex's as the agent followed her, bewildered. Alex could hear her own heart in her ears. A part of her wanted to just be naked already, to feel her skin against Maggie's, but another part of her was overwhelmed, wondering how the hell was she suppose to touch again the woman she dreamed of for the past three years? The woman her body was thriving for, the woman that stole and reshaped her heart from the moment they met? The first woman she had sex with, the first person that made her come, the first person she had loved deeply and irrevocably. How was she supposed to handle all of it?
To try and drown out her thoughts, Alex surged forward, burying her tremblind hands in Maggie's hair and tugged her closer. The brunette gasped as the redhead kissed her, diving her tongue into her mouth and Maggie softly pushed Alex into her bedroom door, closing it with a short click. She pulled back when she felt the redhead breathing too fast.
"Hey Al, you know we don't have to do anything, right? We can just lay down and hold each other." Maggie smiled at her kindly.
Alex shook her head, her hands trailing down to the collar of the detective's white button shirt. She felt the roughtness of the material under her fingertips and tried to ground herself.
"I want you, Maggie. I've been waiting so long for this." Alex whispered as she latched her mouth on the brunette's neck.
Maggie sighed, holding Alex's head against her skin. She bit her lips, trying to control herself. Alex's slight despair reminded her of the very first time they had sex, how Alex had been shy and wanted desperately to please her. It reminded her of what was supposed to be their last time together. Maggie breathed deeply at the realisation that Alex was right there in front of her. The detective drifted the agent's mouth toward hers, trying to slow her down.
Alex followed Maggie's ardour but still pushed herself off the door, leading the brunette against her bed, her knees buckling slightly. She still couldn't believe she was between those walls after so many nights alone, regretting the detective's absence. The agent messily undid Maggie's buttons, her jaw tight as she feared to lose control. She finally slipped the shirt over the woman's warm arms. The redhead wanted to wrap herself around her and never let go. She instead took off the brunette's bra, Maggie nodding at her with barely contained want.
Her fingers followed a trail of freckles on Maggie's olive skin. She almost counted them but they became blurry as Alex felt her heart in her throat once more. She kissed Maggie again, the small woman moaning softly into her mouth. They both let themselves fall on the sheets, their legs tangled together. The buckles of their belt knocked and rubbed, sending a wave of shock into their bodies. Alex's stomach tightened itself as she felt a pool of warmth coursing through her veins. She got dizzy for a second from the feeling.
Maggie felt the agent's muscles of her bicep under ger fingertips and the brunette held on to her, the arousal knocking the breath out of her. She bend her knees on each side of Alex's hips, bringing the tall woman closer. They both groaned at the pressure on their cores.
"Fuck Alex" Maggie mumbled as Alex kissed her even harder and slower.
Alex had trouble breathing but didn't stop. God, she never wanted to stop. Hearing her name coming out of Maggie's mouth was a miracle. The detective briefly stopped their kiss to take off Alex's shirt and sport bra after checking in with her before bringing their mouths back together. Maggie pulled on the redhead's hair, enjoying their softness as they tickled her cheeks. She slid her hands over the agent's shoulders blades, sweat already covering her pale body. She felt the old scar from the credit card that Alex had use on her own skin during her kidnapping of Malvern.
The redhead shook under the detective's touch, recalling the incident and how it had led to her and Maggie confessing their feelings for each other. Oh, how things had derailed but feelings never changed. Alex whimpered as Maggie slipped her thigh between her own, trying to push away old guilt and forever insecurities.
"Stay here with me, baby. God Danvers, I missed you so much."
Alex bit her lips, her hips rolling against the hardness of Maggie's jeans. She held herself up, her arms on each side of the brunette's head. The agent breathed loudly and erratically, her high pitch moans making the woman under her shudder, her back rising, their chest meeting. Their brown eyes locked together as Maggie still held the redhead's face. The detective mouthed a simple I love you and Alex came, hard and fast. Maggie relished the sounds, rethinking back of lonely nights in which she thought she'd never hear Alex's voice again.
The agent barely waited, kissing Maggie thoroughly, their tongues dancing together, warm and wet. Alex pushed themselves to deepen the kiss, almost choking herself and her eyes rolled at the back of her head from the pleasure of almost going too far. The kiss got sloppy and the agent groaned out of frustration at her inability to focus. She was trembling even more now, slipping her open mouth on the detective's chin and down her throat. Maggie's quickened breath hit her ears but it seemed to hit her head as well. Alex shook herself, trailing her tongue down the brunette's chest, her long fingers caressing and squeezing her breast shortly, never giving her enough. Alex rolled her nipples between two joints, before taking it into her mouth, biting it and sucking it. Maggie screamed, her hips bucking against Alex's as the redhead soothed the bud with her wet tongue.
She moved down quickly, Maggie groaning and moaning at the loss of Alex's mouth on her breast and bit her lips as the agent slowly unbuckled her belt, her burning eyes boring into the brunette's. They were pitch black. Alex liked the feeling of the cool leather on her thumbs as she pulled it open, the sound of unzipping the detective's jeans ripping her stomach apart.
Her sight got blurry once more but she squeezed her eyes close while slipping Maggie's pants and boxer just above her knees. She ignored her very loud heart and the fear of not being able to breathe and dove into Maggie's heat, her nose slipping through her curls.
Her taste grounded her and drove her crazy all at once. She sighed and almost cried as the warm liquid coated her tongue. Maggie's moans and tight fingers in her hair made her chest contracted itself. She trailed her tip of her nose to her clit as she pushed her tongue into Maggie, the exquisite smell causing her senses to go awol. She gasped and held on to the brunette's hips, her fingers apart and insecures.
"God, Alex, you're so good baby, you're perfect."
Alex shivered and fought herself, not wanting to ruin this for Maggie. She pushed through and kept the pressure of her tongue on Maggie's wall, curling it just so. The detective cried out as Alex slipped it out and trailed it to her clit instead, sucking it into her mouth between her teeth, the tip of her tongue lapping it crazily. Maggie came with a high pitched broken Alex on her lips and the redhead lingered, lazily stroking the juices, prolonging the detective's orgams and then she pulled back, trying desperatly to get some air into her lungs.
She stayed like this for a moment, eyes closes as everything moved around her. Her chest was hurting as she failed to breathe properly, hyperventilating. She didn't realize she was crying until Maggie lifted gently Alex off from her position and cursed herself for not noticing what Alex was going through. The brunette wiped the agent's chin and put her other hand on the agent's stomach.
"Babe, Alex, you gotta breathe through your stomach, sweetie. Alex?" Maggie frantically called her out.
The redhead shook her head, hiding her face into her arms. She rolled herself off the bed, slidding down on the floor, choking on the heaviness of her heart and the shame. Maggie jumped off too, harshly pulling her pants on before kneeling down beside Alex without touching her.
"Okay, Danvers, everything is gonna be okay, Al? Tell me five things you see. That's right, open those beautiful eyes and tell me five things you see."
Alex listened to Maggie's calm voice, tho she still breathed too fast, not able to regain control of it yet. She opened her eyes and forced herself to follow the brunette's instructions, trying to not dizzy herself as she looked around the room.
"Walls, my shirt, your bonzai tree," Alex paused, swallowing a whimper "books and a lamp."
"You're doing so well, babe. Four things you can touch." Maggie continued.
Alex fumbled around, breathing through her nose.
"Sheets, the floor, jeans and...and your hand." the redhead said lowly, with more confidence.
Maggie squeezed Alex's fingers between hers, slowly relieved.
"You're great, Danvers, you're perfect. Three things you can hear?"
"A motorcycle passing by," Alex nodded, closing her eyes to focus "the fridge and Gertude pacing outside the door.
Maggie hummed with a smile.
"Does sound like her. Two things you can smell babe?" Maggie asked.
"My shampoo and your parfum." Alex listed with a sigh.
The detective rubbed the redhead's back, happy that Alex is getting through this panic attack.
"Your hair do smell good, Danvers. And one thing you can taste?"
The agent lifted her eyes, briefly meeting Maggie's.
Maggie inhaled deeply, her fingertips hovering the small of Alex's back in a silent question. The redhead nodded and the detective gratefully pulled her closer, the tall girl sitting on her lap.
"You want to talk about it?" the brunette asked softly, playing with the redhead's fingers. "Ever since we saw each other again, I noticed that sometimes you just stop breathing. Do you have panic attacks like this often?"
Alex sighed and turned around into Maggie's arms, facing her. Her eyes were downcast, shy that Maggie saw her at her most vulnerable.
"You don't have to, babe. I just want you to know that I'm here. Always. You can lean on me or if that's not what you need, you can tell me what is the best system for you when this happens..."
The agent cut her off with a slow, grateful kiss. She didn't see pity in the brunette's eyes, only care and love.
"I started to have them after you left. After we, after I..." Alex shook her head, frustrated. "It would happen randomly. Sometimes I was alone at home, once it was in a flower shop and I saw a bonzai tree. The first time I had sex with another woman, I panicked so hard. Thankfully, that woman was understanding and had dealt with this before. I...went to therapy too, tried to recognized the signs, what triggered them and all."
Maggie frowned and swallowed at the redhead's explanations. She hugged her closer, trying to not tighten her hold. She grazed the agent's collarbone with her lips.
"And did you? Found them?" Maggie asked in a small voice.
Alex nodded softly against her fronthead.
"It was mostly you. And the guilt I felt toward you." the redhead said shakily. "I barely have episodes now. It hasn't happen in a while. So you don't have to worry about me breaking down on you."
Maggie put her hand on her chest, reminding her to breathe and sighed, shaking her head.
"Alex, all I want is for you to be okay, to be gentle with yourself like you taught me to be. To let go of past guilt and to look forward. And it's alright if that takes times, sweetie. I I love all of you, Danvers. Nothing could ever change that."
"Can we just go back to what we were doing? I really missed that, missed you..." Alex whispered, leaving barely there kisses on Maggie's jaw and lips.
Maggie cleared her throat, kissing the redhead deeply before pulling back.
"We can just lie down naked too, you know?" suggested the detective.
Alex smirked at her, her fingers in the brunette's hair pulling her and her lips catching hers.
"Oh, we'll do that among other things, babe, please?" the agent asked biting her lips, shy.
Maggie shook her head and smiled, seeing the openess and easiness back in the redhead's whiskey eyes. She'd try to look out more for those signs in the future.
"You know I can never resist you, gorgeous." the brunette sighed, lifting herself up with Alex still holding on to her. "But promise me you'll let me know if things get overwhelming again, all right?"
Alex nodded against her fronthead, their noses rubbing each others. The women laughed and kissed as Maggie turned them around, laying softly the redhead down on the bed.
Maggie was brought back to the present, Alex kissing her chin.
"No, I'm okay truly, you don't have to worry. I'm just...I couldn't be happier, Maggie.'' the redhead reassured her.
The detective smiled and nodded, kissing the tall woman's cheek. She turned back toward the stove, turning it off as she slipped the perfectly cooked French toast into Mia's favorite plate.
''Well, maybe you could be.'' Maggie said with an lifted eyebrow and stars in her eyes ''Remember all those first we talked about?''
Alex nudged Maggie's shoulder with hers, smiling down at her lover as the detective retrieved forks and knives out of a drawer.
''How could I forget?'' the agent replied, reaching out for her cup of coffee.
Maggie grinned at her and took a deep breath, gathering courage.
''I saw a house.'' she announced gravely before laughing softly at herself ''And I want to show it to you and Mia. We don't have to decide anything but...I saw us there, Al. Us, Mia and Gertrude. The life we wanted then and now.''
Alex stood in front of her, a bit shocked before beaming at her girlfriend's words, her girlfriend's promises and plans. The redhead quickly got around the kitchen's island, kissing Maggie with a new kind of fervour. With hope for their future. Maggie reciprocated, pushing Alex back softly into the counter behind her. Her fingers were burning on the silk of the agent's bathrobe.
''You want to see the house? Cause that's what I'm getting.'' the brunette teased.
Alex dropped her chin, catching Maggie's lips immediately, not bothering to answer, kissing the detective and her own grin away.
"What has gotten into you?" Maggie smirked at her.
The agent circled the smaller woman's shoulders with her arms.
"All this talk about you being Mia's mom and the house, our future...you're so sexy." declared Alex as she sucked Maggie's earlobe.
"Come on, Al...Mia is in the other room." the brunette weakly fighted.
Alex pulled back and nodded, biting her lips. She put her fronthead on Maggie's.
"You know what a new house means? We'll have to christen every room."
Maggie laughed wholeheartedly, throwing her head back. Alex could only smile, enjoying the happiness coming out of the detective's lips. She bent down, kissing the base of her throat softly, staying there for a moment, breathing deeply. Maggie felt Alex relax in her arms as she scratched the redhead's scalp.
"That is something to look forward to." Maggie whispered in her ear.
They stayed like this until Mia ran out of her room with her monkey hanging around her neck and bumped into her mommie's legs. Maggie chuckled as Alex bent down to pick up Mia. She groaned and flew the girl off to the dining table, the little brunette laughing her heart out. Maggie looked at them, Alex kissing the top of Mia's head and she felt a part of the fourteen years old girl in her heal. Because those two beautiful girls were her home, her family, forever.
Soon, Alex's ex will be back in town ;) Chapter 10 maybe.
You can always give me suggestions or things you'd like to see happening down the line. Not making any promises but it can inspires me enough to keep this story going :)
Chapter 9: Flare into the night
So, this story was suppose to be a one shot but y'all wanted more, so of course, drama was bound to happen. I tried to respect their characterization as best as I could and probably failed.
This chapter will be split in three part. Will post the second part next week. Alex's ex is back in town, she's an occ character, I'd love to hear your thoughts on her!!
Thank you for the love and comments! Enjoy!
Maggie was startled out of her sleep, a text message ding waking her up. She sighed, noticing it was past three a.m. She fumbled on the nightstand, picking up her phone before realizing it was Alex's. She squinted at the harsh light. Maybe it was a DEO emergency. Clicking on the notification, Maggie read the few lines feeling like a brick fell in her stomach.
Hey babe, Colonel gave me a couple of days off. Think we can see each other? I miss you and your body. I still can't get out of my head that time I fucked you on my dining table before I had to leave on tour.
The text was from a certain Jackie. Maggie swallowed, rereading the message, the word Babe twisting her heart. Was that woman even aware that Alex wasn't single anymore? Had Alex informed her? Was Alex still in a relationsh...no, no, no. Alex wouldn't do that. She wouldn't break her heart again. Not like this. This was ridiculous.
Maggie turned off the phone, putting it back on the nightstand. She breathed slowly, talking to herself. 'No need to panic, Sawyer. Clearly they haven't seen each other in a while. And the last time they did, they fucked on...nope, don't think about that. Alex is right here beside you. Stay calm.' Fuck, she couldn't go back to sleep now. She wanted to know who was this woman, what did she look like, what she did for a living. Colonel, on tour. She was probably in the army. Great.
Maggie stayed like this, eyes fixating the ceiling, trying to get questions and images out of her head. Around five, she decided to get up and to go on a morning run. She changed quickly into her warm yoga pants and sweater and left a note on the kitchen table. Mia still worried from time to time and Maggie didn't want her to. The detective finally stepped outside, appreciating the cold air.
The detective made a detour, picking Gertrude up at Renee and Kate's house. Her best friend simply grunted at her, giving her the leash with a promise to call her later. Maggie kneeled in front of her dog, hugging her and scratching her neck and back, smelling her familiar scent.
''Ugh, I missed you Gertie. You're exactly what I need right now.''
Gertrude breathed loudly in her ear, licking her and Maggie laughed, pulling away. Together, they jogged off toward their usual path.
Maggie ran for an hour, hoping it would turn off her brain from what she had read that morning but it didn't work. She stopped, bending down, catching her breath while Gertrude patiently waited for her. The woman was halfway between her apartment and Alex's. They had put an offer on the blue house in the a close by neighborhood and they were now waiting for an answer. Maggie sighed, recalling where she and Alex were at the moment in their relationship. She had to trust that. Trust what they had and trust Alex. Maggie shook her head, trying to get rid of past insecurities and jogged back toward her girlfriend's appartment, Gertrude in tow.
She entered the apartment, closing the door behind her. She caught sight of Alex leaving her bedroom, stretching, her tank top showing off her skin. Usually it would make Maggie smile but this morning, she looked away. Alex frowned at her girlfriend's jittery behavior. She walked closer to her as the brunette undid Gertrude's leash. The agent bent down to caress the labrador's head and came to kiss Maggie but the woman turned her head, causing her to kiss her cheek. Alex pulled back, eyeing her with curiosity.
''Hey,'' she whispered softly ''you okay? You sleep well?''
Maggie cleared her throat and nodded, forcing herself to smile.
''Yeah, of course Danvers. I'm just dirty and full of sweat, I'm gonna head into the shower, okay?'' the detective answered.
Alex could tell something was off but decided to let it go for now, knowing Maggie needed time and space to process her feelings. Hell, she was the same way.
''Okay, I'll make breakfast. Take your time, babe.''
The redhead waited for Maggie to make a joke about not throwing away the smoke detector, but it never came. Alex watched her go, wondering what was on her girlfriend's mind. Gertrude nudged the agent's thigh with her nose, demanding her attention. Alex smiled at the pup, caressing her face and kissing her forehead. Gertie seemed to smile back at her, love all over her eyes. The redhead tiptoed toward the cupboard over the sink, retrieving Gertrude's bowl and food. She put it down, the brown dog trotting happily toward it.
A familiar rythmic knock pulled her out of her daze, causing Gertude to bark once. Alex frowned before padding to the door. She opened it and there stood a tall woman in her camouflage pants, an oversized white t-shirt and black leather jacket. She was leaning on the doorframe, her duffel bag resting over her shoulder, her smirk breaking into a sincere smile as she took in the redhead.
''Oh my god, Jack!'' Alex exclaimed as the blonde woman picked her up in her arms.
She twirled her around, entering the apartment with a groan and a laugh. Alex couldn't believe the soldier was alive and well in front of her. The army woman finally pulled back, closing the door behind her as Jackie dropped her bag near the kitchen counter.
''Damn, Lexie, you haven't change one bit. You look good!'' Jackie complimented with a sly grin holding her elbows.
Alex laughed awkwardly and withdrew her hands, inspecting the taller army girl. Her dark blond hair was cut just past her chin, half of it pulled up in a small bun, strands of hair falling in front of her green eyes. She looked tired, but mostly okay.
''Well, so do you Jack.'' the redhead said between her teeth.
The agent tried to fight the weird vibe when she heard someone clearing her throat. Her eyes got wide as she took in Maggie in the bathroom's threshold wearing her thigh length boxer and one of her comfy baggy shirts. Gertrude rushed to sit protectively by her side.
''Oh shit, you got company, sorry. You usually don't bring anyone here. It's just I texted you last night or maybe it was later than that, I don't know and you didn't answer so I decided to stop by and take my chances.'' Jackie explained with a sweet smile, squinting at both women.
Maggie crossed her arms over her chest as Alex's eyes kept shifting between Maggie and Jackie.
''I, uh, never got that text.'' Alex announced, forcing herself to shrug.
''Actually you did. But it was the middle of the night and I didn't want to wake you. After last night, you needed the sleep.'' Maggie said with a tight smile.
The redhead cursed mentally. So that was why Maggie wasn't in bed this morning and seemed upset earlier. 'Oh god, what did Jackie sent her?' Alex's panicking thoughts were interrupted by Jackie's scoff.
''You always read texts meant for other people? Way to invade privacy...'' the army woman commented.
''Jackie!'' intervened Alex, incredulous.
Maggie took a slow step forward, joining the two women, remaining calm, Gertrude following her. Alex bit her lips knowing that deep inside, Maggie was far away from fine.
''It's all right, Danvers. Not that I have to justify myself here but when that text came in, I just wanted to make sure it wasn't...work.'' the detective explained.
The brunette didn't want to feel this burn in her body, but it flared up her insides anyway. She couldn't believe that this tall blonde woman was Alex's...what exactly? The agent touched Maggie's elbow with a softness that surprised her. The smaller woman turned her head toward her, meeting her brown eyes. They seemed conflicted and a flash of something close to guilt crossed her whiskey orbs.
''It's okay, Mags. She knows about the DEO.''
Maggie took a step back, inhaling deeply but kept a neutral face, not wanting G.I. Jane to know that the newfound information felt like a punch in the gut. So, they had been serious. Did Jackie know about Supergirl? The detective saw the blonde woman flinch and lose her grin for a moment, her eyes flittering between Alex and her. She was starting to understand that Maggie wasn't just anybody.
''Maggie, this is my...friend, Jackie. Jackie, this is my girlfriend, Maggie.'' Alex sighed.
The tall blonde seemed to do her best to not wince at the word friend and walked toward Maggie, offering her hand that the detective took with a wary smile. Gertude growled softly at the tall woman.
''I'm First Lieutenant Jackie Jackson, specializing in army tank operations.'' Jackie said, winking at Alex. ''Yes, I know my parents had a poor sense of humor.''
'They weren't the only ones' Maggie thought. Of course, Alex had dated an impressive woman. The brunette was holding herself back from rolling her eyes. She shook the army girl's hand instead. They both seemed at war during the shake.
''Detective Maggie Sawyer.'' the woman simply replied.
Jackie took a step back, biting the inside of her cheek. Alex felt awkward, knowing her friend now understood who Maggie was to her. The blonde tried to catch the redhead's eyes but they remained on her girlfriend, cautiously watching her.
''Well, Lexi, I'm hurt.'' the soldier joked with a smirk at the corner of her pink lips ''I see that your Maggie here, doesn't know anything about me.''
Maggie frowned and cringed at the nickname. As far as she could tell, Alex hated that name. Apparently, Kara had tried to use it when they were teenagers and it hadn't end well.
''Lexi?'' the brunette asked, arching an eyebrow up.
Alex swallowed. This was getting overwhelming. She needed a drink even if it wasn't seven yet. There were too many memories involved. Jackie leaned back on the wall, keeping her emotions in check.
''Yeah, I'm used to calling people by their last name but Lexi was really not into it. I had to be creative.''
The agent looked down at the floor, not liking to recall one of her less finest moment. She lifted her head, seeing Maggie looking at her softly. Alex was surprised, straightening herself up, relieved that the whole thing hadn't royally fucked everything up.
''Gertie!'' a small voice made all the women turned toward the living room.
Gertude ran toward Mia who hugged the brown dog that was as big as her and opened her eyes before running off toward Alex with a beaming smile.
Alex felt instantly more at ease, picking up her daughter with a groan. She sighed, realizing how fast her little girl was growing.
''Hey babygirl, you sleep well?'' the redhead asked her in a soft tone.
Mia smiled and nodded against her neck before pulling back shyly, looking at Jackie. The blonde woman smiled and waved at her.
''Hey Kiddo, I know it's been a while since you last saw me, but I remember how much you like the stars, just like your mama and you know how in space we are surrounded by them?'' Jackie said, digging into her duffle bag.
Alex put Mia down as Jackie turned toward her, one knee down, with a white and red rocket ship in her hand. Mia gasped but hesitated, seeking Maggie's eyes. The small woman smiled at her reassuringly despite the tightness in her chest, Mia's happiness being the most important thing. The little girl shyly accepted the soldier's gift, studying every inch of it. Maggie gulped, feeling like an intruder as Alex kissed her daughter's temple.
''Oh and Lexi, I got this for you.'' Jackie retorted with grin, pulling a bottle of scotch ''I figured that you'd like this better than flowers.
Okay, that woman was getting on Maggie's nerves. The detective never wished this much for an alien to cause trouble or for an old fashioned robbery at the moment. Alex cleared her throat accepting the gift with a curt nod.
''Thanks, Jack. Scotch is Maggie's favorite drink as well.''
Jackie stood up up, her thin lips forced into a smile. The detective wanted to snicker but refrained herself to.
''Well, do you want to grab dinner with me, to catch up?'' Jackie tried again with a charming smile. ''Of course, you can come, Maggie.''
Alex's eyes got wide as she turned toward Maggie. Mia frowned at all the adults, slowly walking toward the brunette woman, hugging her thigh. Maggie caressed the little girl's hair, repressing a sigh. She hated feeling like this, jealous and powerless. She had no right to be, right? Alex had reacted so well when they had met Emily randomly. But again, Alex Danvers was in a league of her own. She didn't think she could sit through dinner with them without losing it.
''Nah, you guys go together. I wouldn't get the inside jokes anyway.'' Maggie said, despite not being comfortable with the idea of Jackie and Alex having dinner in a classy restaurant.
The redhead saw the twitch in her girlfriend's jaw and knew she needed to have a talk with her. At the same time, she also wanted to know how her friend had been doing for the past year.
''Um, yeah, sure.'' Alex accepted.
''What about you kiddo, you joining us?'' Jackie offered Mia.
The little girl squeezed the detective's leg harder.
''Can I stay with Maggie, mama?''
Maggie felt a tornado of emotions right now. A part of her wished Mia had gone with them to make sure this Jackie girl didn't do anything and another part of her was simply touched that the little girl wanted to be with her instead. Mia kept shifting between calling her Maggie and mommy. The detective had noticed that the brunette was more comfortable with the latter when she felt safe. The girl needed time to adjust just like her mother. Maggie could only be grateful every time she heard it.
''Of course you can, sweetie.'' Alex reassured with her in her sweetest voice.
''Yeah. We'll have a girls night, Monkey. You, me and Gertrude. We'll have fun, won't we, sweetie?'' Maggie bent down to tickle the girl's stomach.
Alex rubbed the back of her neck, noticing the longing in Jackie's eyes. She swallowed the guilt once more, wishing things were easier and less painful for everyone.
''Well, instead of going out, we could stay here.'' suggested the army woman ''I could cook for you.''
Maggie's jaw seemed set in stone at the obvious want in Jackie's eyes. Surely, Maggie wasn't overreacting, was she? The detective couldn't help but think back to the text message Jackie had sent to her girlfriend. She tried to not imagine them banging right there on the dining table but failed.
''Anyway, no matter what you decide, you can text the details later. We gotta prepare Mia for school.'' Maggie snapped in the calmest voice possible.
''Right, right. I'll leave you all be, then.'' Jackie replied, her green eyes bored into Maggie's.
Alex wanted to find the situation ridiculous but she knew that both Jackie and Maggie were overwhelmed and that what they were feeling was dead serious. She just hoped she didn't hurt both of them too much.
''Seriously, Mags, I don't have to meet up with Jackie...'' Alex sighed as she packed up Mia's bag.
Maggie kept cleaning the kitchen with a rare ardour.
''It's fine, Alex. You can do whatever you want. Besides, you're always the one who pushed me to get closure or something. You having dinner with Jack can only be positive.''
The detective was glad her girlfriend couldn't see her face right now or she'd downright see the lie. Alex pinched her nose, noticing the tension in the brunette's shoulder and the slight sarcasm in her tone.
''Maggie, can we please talk about this? Can you at least look at me?'' she pleaded in a low tone, not wanting Mia to think they were fighting.
The small woman turned around suddenly, throwing the dirty cloth on the kitchen counter. Maggie looked up at Alex, forcing herself to hold her eyes. She rubbed them frustratingly when she imagined Jackie standing behind her, kissing her neck and smirking at her. This morning, she had wanted to know what the woman looked like and right now, she regretted it sorely.
This was getting out of hand. Why was she being so irrational about this? Alex had an ex, why was she making a big deal out of this? 'Because I was suppose to be the only who got to be with her' Maggie selfishly thought.
''There's nothing to talk about, Al.'' Maggie shrugged, walking toward the bedroom. ''Everything is fine.''
Alex stopped herself from groaning out of irritation. She followed her girlfriend who opened her drawer, retrieving a burgundy henley along with her black jeans.
''I can tell you're not fine, babe!'' Alex insisted.
The redhead licked her lips as Maggie jumped into her jeans, buckling her belt. She took off her pajama's shirt when Alex pulled her close from her seat on the bed. The agent sighed once more, putting her head on the brunette's naked stomach.
''Look, I didn't know she was gonna show up, okay?''
''Well, I'm sorry for ruining your plans. I bet she was gonna take real care of ya, huh?'' Maggie said calmly, pulling back Alex's head, her fingers tight in her hair. ''Did you even tell her we were back together?''
Alex frowned at Maggie's unusual tone. The detective let the woman go, pulling her henley on.
''What the hell, Maggie?! I don't know what you're insinuating but you're wrong. Sure, Jackie and I used to see each other when she had a few days off, but we haven't talked in almost a year. If she had contacted me earlier, of course I would have told her.''
The brunette put on socks and her boots as well. She grabbed her badge and clipped it to her belt, Alex's eyes never leaving her.
''Well, it's a good thing I said everything is fine. Seriously, Danvers, enjoy your night. I'll pick up Mia at school and we'll spend the evening at my place.''
She went to leave the room but Alex stopped her, a hand on her bicep. Maggie kept her eyes on the floor, the agent breathing out on the brunette's hair.
''Maggie...I don't like this. I don't like you leaving the house upset. I can tell something is eating at you, but I can't reassure you if you don't tell me what exactly it is you feel.'' Alex whispered, her other hand on the bedroom's door.
The detective lifted her head up and tiptoed, kissing Alex thoroughly, breathing into her mouth. Her tongue traced the lines of her lips before grazing them with her teeth. She pulled back, her eyes black and smiling tightly at her girlfriend.
''I'm not upset. Nothing is on my mind. Don't waste your time worrying. I'm telling you, everything is fine.'' Maggie responded casually before leaving the room.
Alex mentally cursed and went to follow her but then, she walked toward her nightstand, picking up her cellphone. She opened the convo with Jackie and cursed out loud this time. She took a deep breath, now understanding why Maggie was so off this morning and with Jackie's constant playful grin and confident stance, she could get why Maggie was irritated. But still, it's not like Alex was actually gonna do anything with Jackie. She rushed to get back to the dining room but she saw Maggie kissed Mia's forehead before leaving the apartment with Gertrude in tow. The agent swallowed back tears and panic, walking toward her daughter.
''Hey babygirl, ready to go to school?'' Alex asked slowly.
Mia frowned at her, tipping her head to the side, pulling on the strap of her backpack, dancing on her feet.
''You look sad, mama. Mommy does too. Everything okay?''
Alex kneeled down, hugging her daughter close. She sighed in her hair, thinking back of Maggie's words.
''Everything is fine, sweetie.''
Mia pulled back, lifting her purple monkey up, making it kiss her mother's nose.
''Here. Mommy said it's to make me feel better.'' Mia informed her with a toothy smile.
Alex wanted to laugh and to cry, kissing her daughter's nose back.
''You make me feel better, babygirl.''
Maggie hung up the phone and returned to her paperwork. So far, she had been able to focus on her work but Alex's calls every hour were a reminder that she was pushing Alex away for no valid reason.
Renee interrupted her self depreciating episode by dragging a chair by her desk.
''You know if you'd just accept your old boss's offer to become Sergeant, you'd get your own office, Sawyer.''
Maggie glared at her, knowing full well her old captain at her last precinct was working hard at trying to get her back.
''You'd miss me too much Montoya.'' the detective replied.
The black woman rolled her eyes, crossing her legs together.
''Oh, please Sawyer, I'd love to see your face a little less.'' the captain said ''Seriously, you deserve this, Maggie. I know you said you weren't ready two years ago but now, I think it's your time. I know you and Alex put down an offer on a house, the pay would certainly help. Think about Mia. Don't you want to be with that little girl as long as you can?''
The smaller brunette laughed shortly, lifting her hands up.
''All right, all right. Enough with the speech, I said I'd think about it and that's what I'm gonna do.''
Maggie turned back toward her paperwork but sighed, feeling her friend's eyes on her.
''Okay, what's the real reason you came down here at my low-key office?'' the detective said curtly.
Renee arched an eyebrow at her attitude.
''Your girlfriend texted me. Wanted to make sure you weren't following some dangerous lead.''
''She had no right.'' Maggie groaned ''I'm perfectly fine at doing my job.''
''Hmm. She said and I quote 'She pretends to be fine. I know she's not and she won't fucking talk to me.' If you wanted to be the old Maggie 'I'm fine' self, maybe you shouldn't have gone back with the woman that has two PhD's.''
Maggie turned slowly toward her friend, trying to remember the breathing exercises from her yoga class.
''Fuck off, Renee.''
The woman leaned toward Maggie with a dangerous smile.
''Don't forget that I'm your boss, jackass, and your best friend. Come in my office, now.'' Renee declared before walking away.
The detective took a moment to herself, knowing she shouldn't have snap. She slowly got up and followed her best friend. She passed by colleagues who eyed her curiously and entered her boss's office, crossing her arms over her chest.
''Okay, sit down, Sawyer. Out with it, tell me what's going on. It's the best friend talking and you know I don't have patience for your 'I'm okay' bullshit.''
Maggie fought her primal instinct to flee and sat down, sighing longingly. She wanted a cigarette so bad at the moment.
''Alex's ex is back in town. She sent her a text during the night, telling her she missed her and her body and their fucking.'' the brunette spat out. ''She showed up this morning with a gift for Mia and a bottle of scotch for Alex. She had no idea that Alex and I were back together. She and Alex have plans tonight.''
Renee lifted an eyebrow and scoffed.
''And why do you pretend you're fine with that?''
''Because I have no right to be bothered, Renee. She's her ex. I have exes too. I just need time to...to let it go.''
The other woman stared down at her with judgment in her eyes.
''Hold up. You're telling me that a woman sent a dirty text to your girlfriend, having no idea she was in a relationship with you and showed up with clear intentions to buy your little girl and seduce your woman that she apparently already has a past with AND is gonna have dinner with her?'' resumed Renee ''Yeah, I wouldn't be fine either. What you're feeling is normal, Sawyer. For how long have they date?''
''I don't know.'' the brunette shrugged.
Renee nodded once.
''Was it serious?'' she asked again.
''I don't know.'' Maggie answered, gritting her teeth.
Her friend lifted her hands up in indignation.
''You know I love you, Sawyer and I think you're amazing at your job, but dealing with your personal shit, not so much. Now listen to me, talk to your woman. It's the only way for you to stop being paranoid.''
Maggie rolled her eyes, knowing full well it wasn't right to go back to her bad habits and keep Alex at arms' length, but she couldn't help it. She was too proud to tell Alex that she was jealous of this Jackie woman.
''It's not like I think she'll cheat on me.''
''At least, there is that. Then what's gotten you the most upset?'' Renee questioned softly.
The detective bit her lips and sighed, not wanting to face everything she has been feeling since she saw that text.
''I don't know. Alex and I had talked about my exes from that time period when we weren't together, but we didn't go into details about hers. And I didn't insist because she has this horrible guilt about how things went down between the two of us.''
Renee listened to her carefully. In another circumstance, Maggie would have joked about how her friend looked like her therapist right now, but the detective kept her mouth shut, glad that Renee was there for her.
''What about you, Sawyer? Do you feel guilty about how things went down in the past?''
Maggie opened her mouth then closed it, shaking her head. She scoffed at the world.
''I can't help but think I should have never left.'' Maggie admitted with a barely controlled voice ''I should have been there. For Alex, to help her take care of Mia. For that little girl, to see her grow. I feel like I wasted three years of my life, of being hurt, of missing her when we could have just been happy and together. Becoming a family with Mia.''
The detective took a deep breath, leaning her elbows on her knees.
''We promised each other a lifetime of firsts and I've missed so much of them during those years.'' Maggie told her.
''This is all great, Maggie. But back then, both of you weren't ready. You didn't have the same priorities as you both do now. Leave the past in the past. Look at where you are now. Just enjoy that.'' Renee comforted her with a warm smile. ''And call your girl.''
Maggie stopped herself from rolling her eyes once more, nodding at her instead, thanking her silently. She left the room and went back to her desk, picking up her cellphone. She sighed noticing the missed calls and text messages. She ignored them, simply replying: ''We're okay, don't worry. Have fun catching up with your friend tonight. We'll talk tomorrow. X''
Chapter 10: Flare into the night part 2
I don't care what happens with the show, I stopped watching it anyway after 306. I don't care who the world think is the One for Alex Danvers, I know, WE all know it's Maggie Sawyer. Sanvers is forever, fuck the rest.
On that note, I apologize for the ex coming back in town...poor timing x). Second part, here we go. Enjoy. Or at least try?
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Alex nursed her drink slowly while Jackie started her fourth beer even though they already drank a glass of scotch. They were sitting on the couch and had mostly talked about safe subjects, like their jobs and families. Jackie had three brothers and they were all in the army, but their mom hadn't talked to Jackie for a while, mad at her little girl for following the career path that killed her husband. Alex had met the woman once and had even tried to talk to her, but the woman was stubborn as hell and mostly hurt.
It was getting late and the agent wished that Maggie and Mia weren't spending the night at the detective's apartment. She enjoyed Jackie's company, having missed her friend, but she wanted to talk to Maggie. The text had barely reassured her. She hated not knowing what was going on in Maggie's head and she hated that she couldn't spend a few hours with an old friend without feeling guilty. She had a feeling that her girlfriend was trying to slip back into the habit of keeping things to herself. She understood that Maggie was vulnerable and didn't trust people easily, but surely, she knew that Maggie was it for her? If only she had told Maggie about her past with Jackie. Maybe she should have refused Jackie's invitation and talk to Maggie instead? Yeah, she should have postponed dinner to talk to Maggie first, make sure she knew nothing was going on anymore between Jackie and her. 'Ugh, what were you thinking Danvers' Alex thought frustratingly.
The army woman let her head fall back on the couch, eyeing the redhead who was lost in her head. Alex took a sip of her beer before putting it down on the coffee table. Jackie reached out to her, her thumb stroking her elbow. The agent turned her head quickly with wide eyes.
''You look so relax and happy, Lexi.'' the soldier whispered. ''Were you ever this happy with me?''
Alex sighed, studying the blonde woman in front of her. The too loose collar of her t-shirt showed a scar on her collarbone and her army tags. Her green eyes were a mixture of sadness and nostalgia.
''Yes Jack, sometimes.'' she contented herself to say ''Come on, don't go there tonight, okay?''
''I should go home.''
Jackie moved to get up but she lost her balance, Alex grabbing her arms. She put her back down while the woman laughed at herself.
''Okay, you are not driving in this state. You're gonna sleep on the couch.''
The blonde woman kept hold on Alex's fingers, pulling her in.
''All those months we were together, you were always so careful for Mia to not see us in bed...''Jackie slurred ''That Maggie woman and Mia seemed pretty close. You trust her to take care of her for the night.''
Alex sighed, not wanting to have this discussion with her when she wasn't sober. She wasn't sure if she should tell her that Mia had started to call Maggie mommy. Jackie had offered after all to be Mia's mom all those years ago.
''That Maggie woman like you said is my girlfriend, Jack. She and I have history, you know that.'' Alex recalled her.
Jackie kept looking at her softly, lifting a hand up to push the redhead's hair away. Alex closed her eyes, old memories hitting her. All those nights, Jackie being there for her. The whole thing wasn't fair, she knew that. The agent pulled the soldier's hand down.
''We have history too. We were good at taking care of each other, weren't we?'' Jackie said.
Alex shook her head, squeezing Jackie's hand.
''Okay, stop. Jack, this isn't happening. I'm in love with Maggie, we're building a life together. I'm really sorry that things didn't turned out the way you wanted them to be, but...this...''
Jackie nodded and gave her the tiniest, saddest smile.
''I know, I know. You broke up with me and were super clear with me. Later, I suggested we became fuck friends, you didn't want to because you didn't want to hurt my feelings but I told you I was okay. I lied, I'm sorry. I guess I always thought that one day, we'd try again.''
They stayed quiet for a while and Alex desperately wanted Maggie back in her arms.
''You're a tough woman to let go of, Lexi.'' Jackie admitted with a grin and closed eyes.
The agent sighed once more, getting up from the couch. The soldier was already falling asleep as the redhead softly pushed her to lay her down and covered the woman with a blanket. Her mind was stuck in whirlwind of memories as she laid down in her bed. She pulled Maggie's pillow to her chest and swore to make things right with her girlfriend.
Alex woke up slowly, hearing moans and whimpers. She looked at the clock, noting it was past four. She got up, rubbing her eyes and opened her bedroom's door. She quickly walked toward Jackie who was trashing on the couch, mumbling tactical strategies in her sleep. The redhead noticed her damp hair as she kneeled in front of her.
''Hey, hey, Jackie, wake up.'' she whispered ''You're having a bad dream, you are not on the field, you are here with me in National City.''
The woman's breath quickened, blinking at her slowly, looking around her. Alex rubbed the tall blonde's arms, soothing her.
''Fuck, Lex, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have sleep here...''
''Shh, it's okay, don't apologize. It was just a nightmare, okay?'' Alex was quick to reassure her.
She waited for the younger woman to calm and went to move but Jackie grabbed her hand, holding on tightly.
''Please, don't leave me alone. Just tonight, please. It was horrible.'' Jackie pleaded in a hoarse voice.
Alex didn't remember the last time she had seen her friend this vulnerable. She hesitated, feeling uncomfortable, then sighed, thinking of everything Jackie did for her. She sat down on the couch and the blonde woman immediately threw an arm around her, shaking like a leaf.
''Hey, it's okay. I got you. Go back to sleep, Jack. Everything is fine.'' the redhead bit her lips at her own words, her mind flashing back to Maggie.
Maggie unlocked Alex's apartment door, her other hand tucked in Mia's. Last night had been quite stressful and Maggie had regretted not talking to Alex, but having the little girl and Gertude in her bed had managed to keep her mind at ease.
She opened the door, Mia following her. The little brunette dropped her backpack on the floor and ran toward the bedroom. Maggie walked toward the living room, catching sight of Jackie lying on the couch, her head on Alex's thigh. The redhead's arm was on the soldier's hip, keeping her safe. The detective saw red and took a step back, but Mia called out for her mother, passing by Maggie.
''Mama!! We're here!''
Jackie immediately jumped on her feet, rising her fist, her eyes wide and unfocused. Maggie rushed to push Mia behind her back, grabbing the soldier's hand. Her heart was thumping hard against her chest as Jackie started to fight back, but Alex suddenly got up as well, putting herself between the two women. The agent caught the rage behind the girlfriend's eyes and held them for a second, completely afraid of what Maggie was thinking at the moment. Alex let Jackie go and the blonde woman finally snapped out of it, taking major steps back, tugging at her hair.
''Shit, Lex, I'm so sorry. I didn't expect her to...I just reacted, I...''
Alex didn't listen to her as she ran to Mia's side, the little girl shocked and afraid. She hugged her daughter carefully, her heart breaking as Mia stood there rigidly.
''It's okay, baby. Everything is okay. Nobody is gonna hurt you, don't worry. You're safe, Mia.'' Alex kept repeating.
Maggie watched the scene, a bit overwhelmed by multiples emotions that were hitting her like a freaking train. The detective slowly kneeled in front of Mia, not wanting to startle her.
''Can I touch you, mija? Did I hurt you?'' Maggie whispered, her stomach twisting at the idea of her little girl getting hurt when she was trying to protect her.
The girl shook her head and cried, leaning forward into Alex's arms to reach Maggie. The brunette woman stroke her hair, murmuring sweet nothing. She and Alex looked at each other, quietly telling each other a million things. They heard Jackie clearing her throat.
''I...I'll just go.''
The woman didn't seem to know what to do with herself, clearly freaking out. She rushed to put on her pants, picking up her cellphone and a hair tie, pulling her hair together into a messy bun. Maggie noticed the beers on the table and got up, facing the blonde soldier.
''I'm not gonna let you roam the streets in this state. You could be a danger to yourself and others.'' she declared in her cop voice.
Jackie didn't say anything, simply staring at her. Maggie could tell that a part of her was insulted but could see that she also felt deep regrets.
''Mags, I'll do it, you don't have to...'' Alex tried to intervene.
The detective's glare shut her off as well as her daughter's whimper. Alex held Mia closer, regretting so much how everything went to shit. She shouldn't have fell asleep last night, she should have waited for Jackie to feel better and should have gone back to bed. She bit her lips, knowing she fucked up even more with Maggie.
''Mia needs you, Danvers. I'm driving her home and I'll come back afterward.''
Alex tugged her hand, frowning, her eyes soft and insecure.
''You promise?'' the agent insisted.
Maggie bent down to kiss Mia's forehead, looking at Alex from the corner of her eyes. The redhead felt hot and cold all at once.
''Cross my heart.''
Maggie was driving Jackie's green jeep while the blonde woman tapped her knee up and down, her feet on her dash.
''Don't be mad at Lexi.'' the soldier sighed.
The detective rolled her eyes at the nickname and shook her head.
''How about you don't tell me what to do, Jackson.'' she replied.
''Fair enough. Just so you know, I had too many drinks last night and Alex didn't want me to drive so I crashed her couch. During the night though, I had a...nightmare.'' Jackie admitted through her teeth, embarrassed. ''She simply was there for me.''
The brunette accepted the explanation with a curt nod.
''Still wasn't fun for me to see you sprawled over my girlfriend like that.''
Maggie thought she saw Jackie smirk for a second.
''Yeahhh I'm sorry...''
''No, you're not.'' Maggie scoffed at the woman.
Jackie chuckled and shrugged.
''Look I know I'm an asshole, I was just surprised to see you there yesterday morning.''
Maggie changed lanes and drove toward the main road close to the water, following Jackie's earlier instructions.
''Trust me, me too.'' the detective said bitterly. ''She never told you about me?''
She hoped her tone wasn't pleading or vulnerable. She just wanted to know how Alex had been all those years. Jackie shrugged once more.
''I, uh, knew of your existence and the basics about her first love and not wanting the same thing and the broken heart, but nothing more. Everytime I tried to talk to her about you, she'd close herself off.''
Maggie nodded slowly, swallowing with difficulty.
''She never spoke of me huh?'' Jackie questioned with curiosity and a hint of hurt.
The brunette shook her head and changed the direction of the conversation.
''How did you guys meet?''
It was Jackie's turn to scoff.
''In a bar. We were both drunk, we had great sex and uh, she had a panic attack. I helped her through it and managed to calm her down. She was embarrassed and I thought it was gonna be it, but I don't know, I guess I was intrigued and fell her big doe eyes.''
''Yeah, Danvers is irresistible like that'' Maggie commented with a sigh.
Jackie looked at her weirdly from the corner of her eyes.
''She wasn't ready for a relationship, so we became friends. Talked her through seducing other women, soothed her disappointment over failed or forced relationships before we gave each other a real chance.'' Jackie paused for a second ''Don't you want Alex to tell you about all this?''
Maggie didn't bother answering, shrugging. She knew she had to talk to her girlfriend sooner or later, but she didn't want to do so without having all the information. The detective stopped the jeep in front of a small grey bungalow house. Jackie looked hesitantly at Maggie.
''Um, thanks for the ride.'' she trailed awkwardly. ''Come on, let's go inside. I'll make you breakfast and we'll talk some more.''
Maggie held Jackie's eyes, wondering if the woman was serious. Apparently, she was because the soldier stepped out of the jeep and turned around the car, waiting for the detective to follow her. The brunette shook her head as the army woman opened her door.
''Let me prove to you that I'm not a complete ass trying to steal your girl.''
The detective rolled her eyes and got out of the jeep, following the blonde woman to her house front door.
''You better take a shower first.'' Maggie suggested ''No offense, but you stink.''
Jackie snickered but agreed. They walked inside as Jackie threw her keys on a nearby table. Maggie looked around the open space, her eyes stopping on the dining table. She cleared her throat and watched Jackie retrieving a bottle of water from the fridge.
''Make yourself at home or whatever. I won't be long.'' Jackie said. ''You can get a head start on that breakfast if you want.''
Maggie had no idea how she got herself in this situation, but she decided to just go for it and beat herself up later. She ignored the modern though warm look of the house and walked into the kitchen, planning to prepare an omelet along with fresh fruits.
Jackie came back into the room less than ten minutes later, her wet hair leaving drop of water on her baseball shirt. Both women didn't exchange words as they moved from the kitchen to the dining table. Maggie regretted this already. She crossed her arms over her chest as Jackie started eating.
''Argh, of course you're a good cook too.'' the tall woman rolled her eyes and grinned at the detective. ''Okay, fire away.'' She waved at her.
Maggie lifted an eyebrow, not knowing where to start.
''You said it took a while to give each other a chance. When did you fall for her?'' the brunette didn't even know why she asked this question. ''If that's too personal, you don't have to answer.'' she added strainly.
''How considerate.'' Jackie scoffed. ''Well, I always liked her of course and we became close even though she was trying to make it work with this kindergarten teacher. I could tell she was trying too hard. It's like she wanted to be in a stable relationship right away even if she didn't like her that much. ''
Maggie listened carefully and waited for the soldier to continue.
''Kara thought she was good for her but I knew that while Ms. Laura Blue was great, she wasn't the one for Lexi. She didn't...''
''Challenge her?'' Maggie offered.
Jackie smiled sadly and nodded, a bit surprised by how well the small woman knew Alex.
''Yeah, anyway, she put an end to it and after that, she had this bad relationship, but I won't tell you much about that one. I think it's Lexi's story to tell. But I was always there for her and eventually I told her about my feelings and she said she liked me back and we gave it a try.''
The detective breathed deeply, hating not knowing all the details. She wished once more she had been there for Alex. What was the story behind that bad relationship?
''What happened?'' Maggie questioned softly, focusing on the soldier.
Jackie smiled briefly, looking past the brunette.
''Mia happened. I swear when she met that little girl, I had never seen her this happy, this concerned. She told me she wanted to adopt her and I totally supported her. I offered to adopt her with her, I even proposed...''
Maggie's eyes snapped toward the blonde's, her heart dropping beneath her feet.
''You proposed?'' she repeated, her voice empty.
Jackie squinted at her, surprised by the sudden change in Maggie's behavior. She nodded slowly as if a silent affirmation would be easier to take. The brunette woman covered her mouth with her hand, not knowing what to do with herself.
''What did she say?'' Maggie asked with a small clear voice.
''That she'd think about it. I mean, I could tell she wanted to say no, I could tell she hadn't planned to be with me forever but we had something good and I thought this would be it, you know? The American dream.'' Jackie laughed bitterly. ''I knew she only thought about it for Mia's sake. She finally told me that she couldn't do it. She just couldn't.''
Maggie swallowed, taking a deep breath. She rubbed her face, fighting the stupid need to cry. She managed to stay in control, a part of her feeling sorry for Jackie and for Alex, who was apparently not able to completely move on.
''Anyway, quite some time after that, we started being friends again and she got custody of Mia. She didn't really want to date so we...we saw each other from time to time to...''
''Fuck?'' Maggie suggested with an arched eyebrow.
Jackie cleared her throat and nodded. Maggie bit the inside of her cheek, wondering if this is what would have happened if Maggie had stayed around when Alex broke off their engagement. Would they have stayed friends and eventually gravitated back to each other? Become fuck friends instead of wives? Would they have ended it when Mia came into Alex's life or would they have realized they wanted to be a family more than anything? They both didn't say anything for a while before Jackie restarted the conversation.
''It's because of you, isn't?'' Jackie asked, an edge in her voice ''That I can't call her by her name? I called her Danvers the night we met. She pushed me into a wall and growl at me to never call her that again. Then, she kissed me hard.''
The detective shook her head, her fingers tightening around her arms.
''I really don't need to hear about this.'' Maggie told her, gritting her teeth.
Jackie tipped her head and pointed at her, her green eyes having lost all illusion of pleasantries.
''I think you do.'' she insisted softy ''Look, I know you don't like me but the truth is, I hated you for so long. When we had sex that night, right when she came, she was about to say my name, I know she was...''
''Stop.'' Maggie cut her sharply.
''But she said yours instead.'' Jackie informed before waving at herself ''I look nothing like you, Maggie and I think that's what she wanted or needed, but my name was a bit too close to yours. That's when she panicked.''
Maggie let out a shaky breath, wishing she could have a drink right this moment.
''I think I managed to be there for her and to make her happy, but it wasn't enough.'' Jackie declared.
The brunette's shoulders shook from a spasm. It wasn't enough. Maggie sighed, thinking back of the time she thought she wasn't enough for Alex Danvers as well.
''I'm sorry.'' Maggie ignored Jackie's scoff. ''No, I am. I know what it's like to imagine a whole life with Alex and having that dream slipping away between your fingers. I'm also sorry because I've always wanted Alex to live a full happy life and it sadden me that she couldn't let herself...be with you.''
Jackie leaned back in her chair, looking exhausted.
''I'm glad you're not an asshole, Maggie Sawyer. Even if it's freaking annoying.'' she laughed shortly. ''I saw the way Lexi looked at you yesterday and the way you care for her and Mia. I can only hope I'll find my person someday.''
Maggie got up, extending her hand. Jackie shook it firmly and they both smirked at each other. The brunette wasn't sure what to think of everything she learned in the past hour. She apparently needed to go home and talk to Alex, but what was she suppose to say? Did she even had a word in this?
''I'm sure you will, Jackson. Take care.'' the detective said before leaving the house.
She now knew most of what happened between her girlfriend and her ex. She was okay, she was fine. She'll let it go in no time.
Alex kept pacing around in her apartment. It had been hours since Maggie left with Jackie. She hoped all went well, but Maggie wasn't answering her phone and the soldier had informed her that her girlfriend had left her place many hours ago. The agent was starting to get mad. She knew Maggie needed space but enough was enough. It had took a while for Mia to be okay, Alex had even called her daughter's old therapist and the girl was now resting in her room.
The frontdoor finalled opened and Alex turned toward her disheveled girlfriend. Her ponytail was askew, her face pale and her eyes red. Alex's anger dropped instantly, seeing how the last two days had taken a toll on her girlfriend
''Mags, where have you been? I was so worried.'' she said approaching her with her hands up to craddle her face.
The brunette dodged her and waved her concerns, moving toward the scotch Jackie had gave Alex. She poured herself two fingers in a glass and grabbed it noisely, walking toward the living room, ignoring the other woman.
''Okay, seriously, you gotta to talk to me, Sawyer, right now. I need to know what's on your mind.'' Alex pleaded.
Maggie scoffed at her before drinking her whole glass, putting it down. She was about to sit down but she changed her mind, squaring her shoulders, facing the agent.
''What's on my mind? Are you serious? You really gotta ask me that when your fuck buddy is back in town?'' the brunette replied with sarcasm.
Alex took a deep breath, feeling small under Maggie's hurt eyes.
''You keep asking me to talk to you, but what about you, Danvers? Why have you never talked to me about your relationship with Jackie before? About the fact that you and her still had a thing going on? Do you still have feelings for her? Is that it?''
The redhead's mind emptied itself at every word Maggie pronounced. Alex shook her head, trying to understand how the whole thing spiraled down into something bigger than it actually was. The agent took a careful step toward the brunette, wishing she'd let her touch her.
''Mags, absolutely not. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her, but it's not like I wanted to hide it and it certainly not because I still have feelings for her. I liked Jackie, I think I can even say that I loved her in a way,'' she trailed on hesitantly, frowning ''but I was never in love, Maggie. She never made me feel the way you do. And that thing we had like you said, we both agreed that if we met someone else, we'd put an end to it right away.''
''Except, it wasn't right away and Jackie hadn't planned to meet someone else because she's still in love with you.'' the detective refuted.
Maggie bit her lips, pissed at her herself. She didn't want to be vulnerable about this. She wanted Alex to know that there are reasons that she was upset about. Points that were valid after she took the time to think about it. She wanted to be logical. Both Alex and her understood logic and facts. Besides, the last time she showed her vulnerability to Alex, she still dumped her anyway. Maggie cursed herself for thinking back to that night.
''And that was poorly treated on my part, Maggie. I should have seen it, but Jackie and I weren't in a relationship anymore. We haven't talk since she last left for her tour and after that I was busy with the DEO, Mia and having you back in my life again.''
The brunette nodded, the rational part of her hearing what Alex was telling her, but the conflicted part of her was making it hard for her to be okay with all this.
''Then why didn't you tell me? I told you how Stella was important to me.'' recalled Maggie.
''And it hurt, Mags. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad you had her and that you...fell in love again, but it hurt, Maggie.''
''Oh, so it's my fault?'' the detective scoffed at her.
Alex's shoulders dropped as she sighed and did her best to stay calm and not roll her eyes. She was so damn stubborn.
''No, that is not what I'm saying, Maggie.'' the agent said firmly with her hand up.
Maggie bit her tongue, crossing her arms over her chest.
''Look it hurt even more not knowing who she was when she showed up after I saw that text message. I felt stupid, Alex,'' the brunette managed to say calmly before snapping again ''and then, Jackie is telling me the things my girlfriend should be telling me, making me feel like I don't know you, like you are hiding things from me or something.''
Alex moved to face Maggie, shaking her head in disbelief.
''You've been avoiding me since she showed up, Maggie! How could I possibly...you know what, I don't know why we're fighting...''
''You're right. This is dumb.'' Maggie cut her off ''I told you I was fine, I just needed time to comprehend this whole thing, but you just won't give me the space to...''
''Stop pretending you're fine!'' Alex pleaded with exasperation ''I know in situations like this you want space, but right now pushing me away is not the solution. We don't need to fight either. We just gotta talk, Maggie. I can tell you're hurting baby and I wish I could make it all disappear but it doesn't work like that. We can get through this as long as we do it together.''
Maggie turned away from her, facing the window. She rubbed her fingers together, her lips shaking. A phone call cut the sudden silence. Alex cursed as she picked up her cellphone. She recognized Jonn's number and she answered.
''Jonn, I don't know what's going but I can't come in.''
The brunette shifted on her feet, hearing her girlfriend sigh behind her.
''I get that it's important, but right this moment, I have other priorities, Jonn.''
Maggie watched Alex paced through the window. The agent threw her head back, licking her lips.
''No, okay, yes, I'll be there in ten.'' Alex finally accepted, frustrated.
The redhead turned toward the detective, hesitating, a hand hovering the small woman's shoulder.
''I'll text Lena to pick up Mia later.'' she told her.
''What why?!'' Maggie quickly faced her, frowning.
Alex gulped, haven't been this close to the brunette since they went to bed 36 hours ago.
''Because this conversation isn't over. I know you, Maggie.'' the agent said with a crack in her voice, stroking her girlfriend's cheek ''I can tell when you're sad or upset. I have the crinkle and you have the dimples.''
Maggie closed her eyes and bit her lips, desperately trying not to cry.
''We suffered immensely from our lack of talking in the past and I know I'm at fault too here. I didn't handle it well, then and now. Both times I wanted to protect you and ended up hurting you. I'll try to be better. I don't ever want us to go through that again.''
The detective half shrugged, half nodded. Alex bit the inside of her cheek, hating that Maggie was going to put the walls back up the moment she left. She reluctantly walked toward the front door, grabbing her leather jacket on the way. She opened the door when she heard her girlfriend's voice.
''Please, be careful.'' the small woman sighed, her brown eyes shining bright like a flare in the middle of the night.
Alex twisted her neck toward her, giving her a small but genuine smile, something close to hope sparkling in her stomach.
The door closed softly behind the redhead when another one opened. Maggie's gaze shifted toward Mia's bedroom. The little girl hesitated, rubbing her eyes. The detective sighed, hating the fact that Mia heard them fight. She knew it was inevitable for a kid to hear their parents fight, but she had hoped the girl was asleep.
''Hey Mia, we woke you up, didn't we?'' Maggie said lowly, approaching her.
The small brunette nodded, walking toward the woman. Maggie sat down on the couch and Mia climbed on it, sitting down in her lap. Mia was wearing one of Alex's shirt that fell on her knees.
''It must have been scary, sweetie.'' commented the detective ''Just know, that even if sometimes Mama and I don't agree on something, we still love each other, okay? You never have to worry about that.''
Mia nodded, her head in her neck.
''You know, tonight you'll have a nice sleepover at your aunts's place while mama and I continue our boring adult talk. So, in the meantime, you want to do something with me?''
Mia pulled away with a smile and nodded excitedly. Maggie felt herself calm down at her little girl's shining eyes. She kissed Mia's hair shortly.
''All right, here's an idea. You know I might accept a promotion soon, meaning I'll be a sergeant. So, you could draw me a picture for my new office, what do you say?'' Maggie suggested.
''A ser-sergeant?'' Mia repeated, frowning ''You won't be Detective Dimples anymore?''
The brunette woman laughed and shook her head.
''You can call me however you like, Monkey.'' Maggie replied kindly. ''While you draw me something, I'll draw a shelf for all your books for your new bedroom. Would you like that?''
Mia jumped off the couch and smiled widely, hugging Maggie's neck tightly.
''Yes, mommy. I'll get the colored pencils.''
The young brunette ran back to her bedroom while Maggie stared after her, her love for that little girl never ceasing to amaze her. If Alex had said yes to Jackie, she wouldn't be here right now, just about to color with Mia, something she never thought she would want to do. And Mia wouldn't be calling her mommy. Hell, she'd probably call Jackie mommy. Maggie choke on those thoughts, holding back the tears once more. Alex and Mia were her heart, an impossible dream come true. Jackie's ultimate, unreachable dream. Maggie knew Jackie Jackson wanted the same thing as her and almost had it. How close Maggie had come to never have Alex back in her life again? The detective sighed, starting to feel sick, but breathed out slowly as Mia came back into the room, her arms full of paper and pens.
''You ready, mommy?''
Maggie smiled. She wasn't ready for a lot of things. Losing Alex and Mia being one of them. She promised herself to try to talk to Alex when the agent got home. Home. Yeah, because home was right here with Alex and Mia and she didn't want to lose it again. She only hoped her stubborness wouldn't get in the way.
Do you guys hate Jackie? I'm very curious about what you're thinking of her. Love to read your comments folks ;)
Up next, they'll freaking talk. For real this time.