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three men and a gayby

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the losers club™

16:36

 

trashmouth: alright who's helping with my history essay tonight
gazebabe: what kind of help?
trashmouth: ms abel said she's not grading anything that she can't read the handwriting
trashmouth: and spelling mistakes take the whole thing to a zero
benjamina: ms abel more like ms ableism amirite
gazebabe: BEN
gazebabe: SKGFGFJSJAGAJ
benjamina: what can i say, i have a way with words
mother marlboro: that was poetry babe i'm proud
trashmouth: my dyslexic ass is taking no chances i have straight a’s
gazebabe: i have gay c’s im not much help
flowerpot man #1: i’ll help i have a grudge against abel
flowerpot man #1: she made me take my hearing aids out during a test bc she thought they were bluetooth headsets and i was gonna have stan feed me answers from his study hall
flowerpot man #1: WAIT BEN WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR USERNAME WHY AM I THE ONLY FLOWERPOT MAN

 

flowerpot man #1 changed their nickname to bilbert

 

bilbert: smh flowerpots aren't the only thing in this garden
bilbert: there's SNAKES too

 

bilbert changed benjamina’s nickname to snake

 

flower boi: sorry i'm late a chicken escaped
trashmouth: shshsjskaj
flower boi: ITS NOT FUNNY RICHARD
trashmouth: it really is
bilbert: kinda is
mother marlboro: it's pretty funny
snake: yeah it is
gazebabe: mike i love you but it's really funny
flower boi: i’m going to overlook this BLATANT BULLYING
flower boi: only because i have a question
flower boi: where’s stan
bilbert: his grandparents are visiting from california they’re having dinner
bilbert: we have to be extra nice to him later it’s the transphobic grandparents
trashmouth: okay we’re cancelling the homework plans i have some geriatrics to fight
mother marlboro: richie are we forgetting the time you lost in a fight against a plastic bag
mother marlboro: you couldnt take out the urises
mother marlboro: go and do your homework

 

bilbert >>> trashmouth

16:52

 

bilbert: if ur coming over come over
bilbert: georgies at soccer until 6 so i don't have to risk ur potty mouth corrupting him
trashmouth: georgie plays a sport ?????
trashmouth: i'm withdrawing my adoption request
bilbert: i wouldn't have let you have him anyway
bilbert: get over here

 

the losers club™

19:04

 

trashmouth: let it be known here on this day that william andrew denbrough is the biggest asshole known to man
bilbert: you're not giving my 7 year old brother lung cancer RICHARD
trashmouth: YOUR DAD SMOKES
bilbert: AND I SEND HIM OUTSIDE TO DO IT AS WELL
Stanford Pines: I can confirm, we stopped cuddling the other day for him to usher Zack outside.
Stanford Pines: While Georgie was in bed, asleep, and not breathing in the smoke.
Stanford Pines: It was pretty cute.
bilbert: always on my side babe xxx
trashmouth: you both suck
bilbert: watch your mouth, my handwriting is getting you an A

Chapter Text

the losers club™

06:13

 

Stanford Pines: Meet us at the quarry in an hour? School is cancelled.
bilbert: we’re there now but it’s Gay so don’t be early
gazebabe: i don’t want to know what you’re getting up to but dispose of the evidence before we get there i’m running out of hand sanitiser
Stanford Pines: Don’t be vulgar Edmund we’re holding hands and kissing and talking about our anniversary.
Stanford Pines: You’ve been spending too much time with Richie.
bilbert: yeah eddie get ur mind out of the gutter
gazebabe: first of all, my name is edwin and u know it. second of all, don’t capitalize gay if it’s not a big deal, first rule of No Punctuation Random Capitalization™ 
mother marlboro: whys school cancelled? i don't know if my aunts going to let me out
bilbert: somebody broke a pipe in the marching band storage closet and now the ground floor is flooded
bilbert: not saying it was richie using the pipes as monkey bars while i was putting my violin away
bilbert: but it was probably richie using the pipes as monkey bars when i was putting my violin away
trashmouth: i resent that
gazebabe: but you don't dispute it
trashmouth: fuck you eddison
gazebabe: i know you want to but i'm not exposing myself to your crabs
trashmouth: not my fault your mom gave them to me
gazebabe: okay that's fucking gross and i don't want to hear it
bilbert: SHUT THE FUCK UP
bilbert: bev would it help if i came to collect you from the house and drop you home later?
mother marlboro: probably, she trusts you
Stanford Pines: So who's coming? This is the last chance to swim before winter kicks in. 
Stanford Pines: We have Bill and I, possibly Bev, and I'm guessing Richie?
trashmouth: as if my parents will notice me gone
trashmouth: eds? u comin baby?
gazebabe: don't call me that
trashmouth: sorry baby
gazebabe: I SAID DONT CALL ME THAT
trashmouth: my bad, eds
gazebabe: i fucking hate you 
flower boi: ill be there
snake: so will i
Stanford Pines: So we're just waiting on Eddie?
gazebabe: i've told my mom we're playing video games at stanleys
gazebabe: if anyone exposes where we're actually going i'll kill myself and make you watch
gazebabe: she's making me wear two sweaters and a scarf to walk three blocks to stanley’s 
gazebabe: it's 50 degrees
snake: your moms a nutjob

 

gazebabe changed snake’s nickname to truth speaker

 

bilbert: still a snake
truth speaker: you insult me because you wish you were me
bilbert: what was that? suddenly idk how to read
trashmouth: stop coming for my brand
gazebabe: HDJSJDJSK RICHIE
trashmouth: thanks for the compliment baby <3 can always count on you to big me up xo
gazebabe: my HDJSJDJSK is strongly revoked

 

the losers club™

09:03

 

trashmouth: [heterosexualsayswhat.mov]
flower boi: why are you sending us a video of something we all heard happen five minutes ago
trashmouth: bill didn't hear it
bilbert: [imcallingthepolice.jpg]

 

trashmouth changed bilbert’s nickname to heterosexual

 

heterosexual: i've never been more insulted
heterosexual: why would you play idiot says what WITH A HEARING IMPAIRED KID

 

Stanford Pines changed heterosexual’s nickname to hopefully not heterosexual

 

hopefully not heterosexual: much better
Stanford Pines: Imagine if you were straight
flower boi: imagine if any of us were straight
truth speaker: wow rude
flower boi: i've seen the way you look at me. u want what you can't have benny boy xo
truth speaker: i have a girlfriend michael
trashmouth: micholas stop attacking the token het or we'll have a hate crime lawsuit on our hands before you can say breeder
truth speaker: my cousin darren has a law degree y'all are going DOWN
trashmouth: my cousin mike has depression
hopefully not heterosexual: [mood.gif]
Stanford Pines: Love yourself William.
hopefully not heterosexual: if i don't will you do it for me?
trashmouth: BEEP BEEP BILL
gazebabe: yeah no rich that's not a thing
gazebabe: stop trying to make fetch happen
mother marlboro: guys you're all sat next to each other either SPEAK or get back in the fucking water
flower boi: beverly
flower boi: darling
flower boi: isn't that a bit hypocritical
truth speaker: DONT MAKE HER ANGRY SHE IS THE QUEEN OF FIRE AND SHE WILL BURN YOU TO THE GROUND
mother marlboro: awwww baaaaaaabe that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me 
mother marlboro: now everyone get your asses back in the water

 

the losers club™

13:42

 

trashmouth: someBODY
flower boi:
ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD WAS GONNA ROLL ME
truth speaker: I AINT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHEEEEEEEEEDD
flower boi: SHE WAS LOOKING KINDA DUMB WITH HER FINGER AND HER THUMB
truth speaker: IN THE SHAPE OF AN L ON HER FOREHEAD
flower boi: AND THE YEARS START COMING
truth speaker: AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING
flower boi: AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING
truth speaker: AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING
flower boi: AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING
truth speaker: AND THEY DON’T STOP COMING

 

mother marlboro removed truth speaker from the conversation.
Stanford Pines removed flower boi from the conversation.

 

trashmouth:  oh thank fuck

 

gazebabe removed trashmouth from the conversation.

 

Stanford Pines: Oh, thank fuck.

 

Chapter Text

happy hallomeme™
15:23

 hopefully not heterosexual: right if you’re taking georgie trick or treating we’re meeting at my house at 4:30
mother marlboro: you didnt add richie to this chat……………
Stanford Pines: We don’t want him, Beverly. His purchase history on eBay includes an inflatable penis costume and a crate of 28 cans of whipped cream.
mother marlboro: if anything that makes me want him more

mother marlboro added trashmouth to the conversation.
trashmouth changed mother marlboro’s nickname to queen.
queen changed trashmouth’s nickname to hypeman.

truth speaker: disgusten
hypeman: wait this isn’t the main chat wtf
hypeman: what is this for
hypeman: how many chats have i been excluded from
hypeman: how many times have i been SNAKED
Stanford Pines: I want it on record that we didn’t want you now, Bev added you against our better judgement.
hypeman: wounded
hopefully not heterosexual: if you wear a dick costume to halloween with my little brother you’re dead
hypeman: what the Cockstume™ Inflatable Penis Costume With Removable Foreskin Semen Sold Separately  ???
hypeman: dude that’s not for halloween
gazebabe: whats it ?? for ??
hypeman: personal use
truth speaker: … ew. what the fuck.
hypeman: a man can have secrets dear benjamin
flower boi: are we overcompensating again richie darling
hypeman: um?? transphobia?? where's my trans squad at?? defend my dickless honour??
Stanford Pines: I’ve been out as trans for 6 years and have never once tried to satisfy my dysphoria by spending $30 on a 5 foot penis costume.
hypeman: it was $29.95 and worth every cent
hypeman: back me up billy bob
hopefully not heterosexual: i,,, can't. i literally can't. i was tryna think of a way of defending you but ? no.

lions and tigers and queers, oh my!™
15:46

hypeman: fakes
hypeman: everywhere
hypeman: a CIS daRES remind me of my painful deficiency in the nether region and y'all have the AUDACITY to say that's okay??
hypeman: what happened to the trans squad!! i thought the three of us stood UNITED!!! what happened to the boys that accompany each other to the bathrooms to hiss at cis men who try and kick us out!!! what happened to the boys that wrote our pronouns on our faces when the spanish teacher called us ladies!!! what happened to the boys that defend each other against derry’s deep rooted transphobia!!
Stanford Pines: That wasn't transphobia, that was Richphobia, which I fully support.
Stanford Pines: Also, you needed question marks rather than exclamation points there.
hypeman: EMPHASIS
Stanford Pines: INTERROBANG.
hypeman: WHAT

Stanford Pines changed hypeman’s nickname to Illiterate.
Illiterate changed their nickname to illiterate.
illiterate changed Stanford Pines’s nickname to asshole.
asshole changed their nickname to Asshole.

hopefully not heterosexual: hwat on earth
illiterate: SEE STANLEY HE CANT SPELL EITHER
Asshole: It's cute when he does it <3

happy hallomeme™
15:52

flower boi: COSTUME UPDATE PLEASE are we all on theme still??
truth speaker: im hulk and stanley is banner
flower boi: im still black panther
flower boi: god the things i'd let chadwick boseman do to me
Asshole: Aren't you aro-ace?
flower boi: chadwick is my exception

truth speaker changed flower boi’s nickname to  chadwicksexual

chadwicksexual: yes
gazebabe: i'm going as captain america i can still fit costumes from the kids section
hopefully not heterosexual: awwwwwww cuuuuuute
gazebabe: BEEP BEEP BILL YOURE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE RICHIE
Asshole: Eddie, wasn't it you that told Richie that “Beep beep, Bill” couldn't be a thing?
gazebabe:
gazebabe: fuck the shut up
hopefully not heterosexual: i'm going as hawkeye but like,, comic hawkeye where he's deaf bc Mood.
hopefully not heterosexual: bev’s in detention but she's going as black widow and georgies gnna be winter soldier
hopefully not heterosexual: i'm wrapping his prosthetic in tin foil as we speak
illiterate: ummmm WHY the FUCK did nobody tell me there was a theme i'm going as a fucking whoopee cushion what the fuck
hopefully not heterosexual: HDHAKDJWODJSHSOA GEORGIES GNNA PISS
illiterate: rot
hopefully not heterosexual: [img_243.jpg]
illiterate: MINE SON FUCK HES SUCH A BOMB ASS BUCKY BARNES I LOVE ONE (1) WINTER SOLDER
queen: WHATS A SEBASTIAN STAN IDK HER I ONLY KNOW GEORGIE
chadwicksexual: THE WHOLE OF THE LOSERS CLUB IS QUAKING
truth speaker: can we all adopt please. like group adopt. six polyamourous gay dads and their mom.
queen: ben honey 1) you're not gay and b) how am i your guys’s mom and georgies adoptive mom
truth speaker: life works in mysterious ways
truth speaker: also i could be a lil bit bi lol
Asshole: I’m very happy for you for coming out, Ben, but my mom just threatened to ban me from trick or treating if my phone buzzes again so this chat is cancelled until this evening.

the losers’ club™
21:19

hopefully not heterosexual added illiterate to the conversation.
hopefully not heterosexual added truth speaker to the conversation.
hopefully not heterosexual added chadwicksexual to the conversation.  

hopefully not heterosexual: thanks for today guys, it was really fun. georgie had a great time.
Asshole: Are you alright? You seemed off tonight.
hopefully not heterosexual: if anyone wants the photos from this evening message me, i don't wanna clog the chat up
Asshole: That's not answering my question.
hopefully not heterosexual: I'm okay, dw abt it
Asshole: Certain?
hopefully not heterosexual: denbroughs don't lie

the losers’ club™
05:06 

hopefully not heterosexual: i lied
hopefully not heterosexual: i'm so sorry

hopefully not heterosexual has left the conversation.

Chapter Text

the losers’ club™
07:33

 

Asshole: SHIT
Asshole: FUCK FUCK FUCK

 

Asshole >>> hopefully not heterosexual
07:34

 

Asshole: Billy are you alright?
Asshole: Babe, please answer me.
Asshole: I’m so so sorry I wasn't awake please text me back.
Asshole: Sweetheart PLEASE I’m not kidding I’m so worried.
Asshole: I need you to answer me baby I’m scared for you, we all are.
Asshole: If you don't answer right now I’m coming over.
Asshole: I'm coming over.

 

the losers’ club™
07:39

 

illiterate: FUCK stan can you reach him??
Asshole: Nope, I’m really worried. I’m going over to his house as soon as I’m dressed.
truth speaker: do u want us to come?
Asshole: You guys go to school, I’ll text updates but if all 6 of us don't show up the administration will think we're truanting.
Asshole: Grab my homework from Simons, Grant, and Crabbe please?
queen: i will stanley dw, let him know we're thinking of him
queen: if anything serious has gone down call one of us, rich and i are no strangers to jumping the fence at lunch
Asshole: Hopefully that won't be necessary. If it is, I’ll call, but only after school ends. I don't want any of you getting in trouble.
gazebabe: we won't get in trouble !!
chadwicksexual: richie is one absence away from being suspended he is BANNED from skipping
chadwicksexual: call me first if you need anything, i’m not needed on the farm today and i just got paid so I could get a taxi straight to his door.
Asshole: Thanks Mike, do you mind if I text you a running commentary? If I don't do something with my hands I think I’ll freak out
chadwicksexual: that's totally fine bro, whatever makes it easiest for you to cope

 

Asshole >>> chadwicksexual
07:55

 

Asshole: Biking over there now.
Asshole: I think I can see Georgie walking to school? The bright yellow raincoat is pretty distinctive.
chadwicksexual: probs him, ask if he's seen bill this morning?
Asshole: Give me a couple of minutes.

 

the losers’ club™
08:00

 

chadwicksexual: aight he's speaking to georgie now so in a few minutes we'll h o p e f u l l y get the all clear
gazebabe: god i hope it's a false alarm
gazebabe: last time this happened was 48 hours of sheer fuckimg terror
queen: don't worry eddie, last time he was 100 miles away. he's down the street this time and stan’ll be with him in ten minutes. it won't be like before.
illiterate: it better fuckin not be that shit was worse than the time twinkies were gnna be discontinued
illiterate: and lemme tell u 10 year old richie was shook the fuck up by that
illiterate: coulda sued hostess for emotional damages i was DISTRAUGHT

 

queen >>> illiterate
08:03

 

queen: dude i know humour is some kinda coping mechanism for you and i totally get that but i don't think stan’s gnna wanna see the chat blow up w some bull about twinkies
illiterate: fuck u mean coping mechanism i don't have shit to cope WITH im totally stable
illiterate: i just naturally radiate fun
queen: empathy pal
illiterate: empathy isn't my strong suit
illiterate: i'm way too autistic for that emotiony bullshit
queen: i get that, but u gotta try
queen: imagine u were havin a crisis and stan talkin abt birds like nothing was wrong
illiterate: sorry mom
queen: im lov u son

 

Asshole >>> chadwicksexual
08:07

 

Asshole: Okay, so Georgie hasn’t heard from him this morning but said last night Bill and his mom were fighting, and Georgie had to hide under the covers to block the noise.
chadwicksexual: any clue what the fight was about?
Asshole: Nope, Georgie wasn’t really listening. He’s pretty sure Bill’s in the house, though, because he was supposed to walk Georgie to school and didn’t, and their mom yelled up the stairs for a while.
chadwicksexual: yike
chadwicksexual: how far are u from their house??
Asshole: On the corner of his street. Sharon’s car is outside??
chadwicksexual: nahhhh man smth aint right, she leaves at 7:45? every day? for the whole damn time ive known that family?
Asshole: G-d I hope he’s alright. I have this really uneasy feeling.
chadwicksexual: he’ll be okay dude, he always is. try not to sweat it too much until you know what’s happening.
Asshole: I can’t help but panic Mike, especially after last time.
chadwicksexual: this isn’t last time stanley, don’t let urself get hung up on before. most likely he’s just pretty down and needed some time out.
Asshole: What if that’s not it? What if it is like before? G-d, what if he succeeded this time?
chadwicksexual: it isnt and he hasnt, i can almost guarantee. keep walking dude, you’re almost there.
Asshole: I just knocked on the door. Oh G-d I shouldn’t be this scared of my boyfriend’s house.
Asshole: “She’s upstairs” fuck off Sharon he’s not a girl.
chadwicksexual: boiiii i got a mom to fight
chadwicksexual: i mean im a pacifist but
chadwicksexual: i got a mom to fight
Asshole: I’m at the top of the stairs, I called to his room but he hasn’t answered?
chadwicksexual: don’t panic don’t panic don’t panic, he takes his hearing aids out when hes feeling low.
Asshole: I know, I know, oh my G-d my heart is in my throat.
chadwicksexual: go through his door.
Asshole: Okay, okay, okay, I can do this. I’ll text you back in like ten minutes. If you don’t hear from me by half past come over, something’s probably happened.
chadwicksexual: sure thing cap’n, tell bill i love him
Asshole: I will do, thanks for letting me ramble.
chadwicksexual: not a problem dude, gl <3

 

the losers’ club™
08:23

 

illiterate: have we heard anything yet???????
chadwicksexual: give stan 5 mins more
Asshole: He’s okay.
illiterate: STANLY
illiterate: WHAT HAPPENED
Asshole: He had a fight with his parents last night, his mom especially. She’s been blaming him for Georgie’s accident and she thought the Winter Soldier costume was “drawing too much attention and making a mockery of his injuries”.
queen: is she,,, okay,,, georgie wanted to be bucky tf
Asshole: He’s really really upset, and I think his arm might be broken? She shoved him into the door and he caught his shoulder, it’s in pretty bad shape. Eddie, can you give the Dr. K diagnosis before we decide whether to take him to the hospital?
truth speaker: naaaaaahhh nah nah nah he’s not staying there, how fucking dare she
truth speaker: i’m sorry no that is unacceptable
truth speaker: he can stay at mine for a few days i’m not letting him stay with a bitch who’ll break his fuckin arm
Asshole: [img_011.jpg]
illiterate: GROSS
gazebabe: im pretty sure that’s broken, get him to the doctors. Even if its not broken its pretty fucked get it looked at.
gazebabe: also i second ben’s statement i have a spare bedroom with his name on it
queen: same here, my aunt always has a room for yall
queen: she calls it the richie room
illiterate: yeah nah i was gnna offer my house but L M A O i aint gnna be the snake to drag him into an even worse house

 

Asshole added hopefully not heterosexual to the conversation.
Asshole changed hopefully not heterosexual’s nickname to Delicate Man Boy Dude.
Delicate Man Boy Dude changed Asshole’s nickname to ridiculous.

 

ridiculous: Gender affirmation is key, Bill.
Delicate Man Boy Dude: i love you u dickhead.
Delicate Man Boy Dude: im sorry for freaking you guys out, i can’t handle shit rn. I’m in a really bad place and i took it out on you guys and i feel shitty about it
queen: don’t feel bad, you were processing. that presents itself in weird ways.
Delicate Man Boy Dude: we’re goin 2 the hospital and my phones n like 8% so im not gnna be able to keep u guys updated on whether im broken but ily all sm and thanks for caring bc i dont deserve it
ridiculous: You deserve every bit of it and more, you’re so important and so valued and what you don’t deserve is all the shit that gets put on you. Your parents use you as a scapegoat and that ISN’T OKAY. Georgie’s accident was not your fault, your being trans does not lessen your value as their kid, and you have a right to feel happy and safe and supported. We’re definitely not more than you deserve, if anything you deserve more than we can offer.
queen: ur sat next to him
queen: but well said
queen: also im sorry but im so uncomfy w this rn

 

queen changed Delicate Man Boy Dude’s nickname to delicate man boy dude.
queen changed ridiculous’s nickname to Ridiculous.
queen changed their nickname to mother marlboro.

Chapter Text

the losers club™
14:09

 

Ridiculous: We’re finished at the hospital. His arm is broken in three places, he has a sling and a plaster cast. Also, some really strong painkillers.

 

mother marlboro >>> Ridiculous
14:10

 

mother marlboro: stanny boi
mother marlboro: not to be That Guy™
mother marlboro: but please tell me you have hold of the pills
Ridiculous: Absolutely. I wouldn't dream of letting him keep them himself. I love that boy too much to risk losing him.
mother marlboro: <3

 

the losers club™
14:14

 

illiterate: SICK im glad billyboy is good
illiterate: just so yall kno bevs aunt is coming to get u from the hospital and then she's picking us up from school so we can have a movie night
Ridiculous: Does Bev’s aunt know this?
illiterate: buddy me and carla have a good thing goin, called her at lunch and she was practically begging me to come over x
mother marlboro: don't listen to a word the slut says, i asked her this morning and she said it was fine. stan she's gonna text u
Ridiculous: To let you all know in advance, Billy is practically passed out on my shoulder. He's tired and upset so can we /please/ be a toned down version of ourselves tonight?
truth speaker: don't sweat it stan, we'll be good
gazebabe: Rich will be gagged
illiterate: who knew eds was kinky ;)
gazebabe: SHUT THE FUCK UP
illiterate: come on spagetty u know u love it
gazebabe: THAT'S NOT EVEN HOW YOU SPELL SPAGHETTI YOU INFURIATING BUFFOON
illiterate: wow ableist much :///

 

illiterate changed gazebabe’s nickname to ableist spaghetti man.
illiterate changed their nickname to victim.

 

mother marlboro: richie u disgust me
victim: ah, so you've discussed me? i'm a trust fund baby u can trust me
chadwicksexual: SEE I BEEN READING COMMON SENSE BY THOMAS PAYNE
chadwicksexual: SO MEN SAY THAT I'M INTENSE OR I'M INSANE
chadwicksexual: U WANT A REVOLUTION? I WANT A REVELATION! SO LISTEN TO MY DECLARATION
truth speaker: WE HOLD THESE TRUTHS TO BE SELF EVIDENT THAT ALL MEN ARE CREATED EQUAL AND EHEN I MEET THOMAS JEFFERSON UH IMMA COMPEL HIM TO INCLUDE WOMEN IN THE SEQUEL
mother marlboro: WORK
ableist spaghetti man: WOOORK
chadwicksexual: W O R K
victim: WERK
Ridiculous: Work. Beverly, your aunt’s car is the blue minivan, right?
mother marlboro: ye, u see her?
Ridiculous: I think so.

 

Carla Marsh  >>> Ridiculous
14:22

 

Carla Marsh: hi sweetie, i can see u 2 xxxxx
Carla Marsh: come to the van xxxxx
Ridiculous: Thank you Ms. Marsh, just a second.
Ridiculous: :)
Carla Marsh: please sweetie, call me carla xxxxxxx


the losers club™
14:31

 

Ridiculous: bones: reset
Ridiculous: painmedicstion: aquired
Ridiculous: minivan: almot reversed in a bush
Ridiculous: we are forcibly removed from derry general hospital
Ridiculous: hi its bill im on amlot of mesicatiom
Ridiculous: i love you guyd
Ridiculous: also cant type bcbthe keybords fuxzy and im love carka
truth speaker: stanley collect ur mans
Ridiculous: im stan and stans mans yfhfhghj
Ridiculous: STAN THE MAN :o :o :o
ableist spaghetti man: is he actually okay
truth speaker: stan blink twice if u need help
Ridiculous: He’s all good, I have my phone back now. We’ll be with you guys at 3. <3

 

the losers club™
14:58

 

victim: i see the holy spirit approach, bathed in golden light and riding in a baby blue chariot
ableist spaghetti man: boi are u tryna say carla’s here
victim:
victim: maybe
Ridiculous: That’s exactly what he’s saying. Come outside, losers.
chadwicksexual: yall mind hurrying ur asses up? i’m outside bev’s house freezing my dick off
victim: [mydickfelloff.mp4]
ableist spaghetti man: richie why do you have that audio on hand so fast
victim: i am a vine conniser, i have all vines on hand always
ableist spaghetti man: connoisseur*
victim: [steptheFUCKupkyle.jpg]
ableist spaghetti man: [LINK: YouTube: if u wanna fight me then fight me]
victim: omg is this edward spaghedward flirting
ableist spaghetti man: MY NAME IS EDWIN YOU INFURIATING PIECE OF SHIT

 

victim changed ableist spaghetti man’s nickname to edwin spaghedwin.

 

edwin spaghedwin: BITCH OH MY GOD STOP
chadwicksexual: eddie when there’s too much drama at school
chadwicksexual: all u gotta do is
chadwicksexual: walk awaAYAYAYAYAYAYYYY
Ridiculous: Preferably to Carla’s car, you’re the only one that’s not here yet, save Mike.
edwin spaghedwin: wait tf even richie beat me???????????????
Ridiculous: He was the first one here. Hopped into our arms like a hamster on crack.
victim: i resent that
victim: hamsters need to be kept apart from other hamsters bc they’re not social creatures and they kill each other if there’s more than one in a cage
victim: where as i need constant attention and love or i’ll kill myself
victim: like a gerbil
Ridiculous: Like a gerbil on crack, then.
mother marlboro: eddie please hurry up, believe it or not it’s worse in person
edwin spaghedwin: boi hoW
truth speaker: H U R R Y
edwin spaghedwin: okay shut up i can see the van
edwin spaghedwin: drive towards me before my lungs collapse

 

the losers club™
16:47

 

mother marlboro: stan n bill babies
mother marlboro: stop making out in the richie room or we’re starting the film without yall
mother marlboro: amd it’s gnna b sixteen candles
delicate man boy dude: what nO that’s john hughes’s worst work waht the fumck
delicate man boy dude: and ?? the racism ?? bev babe how the fuck what the fuck why the fuck why would u watch that by choice
victim: bev the dvd doesnt have subs xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
delicate man boy dude: thank fuck for the world failing to cater to deaf bitches like me xo
truth speaker: u aint deaf
delicate man boy dude: im hoh and cant watch shit iwthout subtitles so its close tf enough
Ridiculous: We’ll be down in just a second, could we watch Kings of Summer? I’m in the mood for some Nick Robinson.
chadwicksexual: aye aye, i’m all in for some rick nobinson
edwin spaghedwin: ooooooooooo nicky boy
mother marlboro: eh not my type
truth speaker: u like girls and me
mother marlboro: is nick robinson a girl or u?
truth speaker: … no
mother marlboro: i rest my damn case

 

Mother >>> delicate man boy dude
18:44

 

Mother: would you care to explain why your seven year old brother made his own way home from school and had to look after himself in an empty house for three hours?
Mother: that’s ridiculously irresponsible, emily.
Mother: he could have been kidnapped, or hurt, or worse.
Mother: you are GROUNDED for the next month young lady
delicate man boy dude: Hi, Mrs. Denbrough, it’s Stanley. BILL wasn’t able to collect Georgie today because HE was in hospital at pickup time. HIS arm is broken, and we’ve agreed that HE won’t be staying home until we know HE will be safe from further injury under your care. Please stay away from BILL. :)
Mother: listen here you bitchy little madam, stay the fuck out of my business with my daughter and tell her to come home this fucking minute

 

You are no longer able to message this user.

 

Ridiculous >>> Mom
20:06

 

Ridiculous: Hey mom, I’m staying at Beverly’s this evening. Bill was hurt at home and I had to take him to the hospital, we don’t want t send him back to his parents. I’ll be in school on time tomorrow and home after, I just don’t want to leave him alone.
Mom: Totally fine sweetie, send Billy my love. Tell him he always has a place in our home x
Ridiculous: Thanks mom, I love you.
Mom: No problem, kiddo. I love you son x
Mom: Bring Billy with you tomorrow, have him stay over. I’ll get the spare room set up.

 

the losers club™
23:38


Ridiculous: Goodnight, guys.
chadwicksexual: u at bev’s still?
edwin spaghedwin: course he is, gaylords
victim: yeah he’s def still there, hes never this polite so late at night unless hes cuddling his boo
Ridiculous: Shut the FUCK up Richard.
Ridiculous: But yes, I’m still in the Richie Room. And doesn’t he look gorgeous?
Ridiculous: [mybaby.jpg]
mother marlboro: I AM SCREAMING