Life kinda went back to normal after we got back. I hate that I don't know what to say to Dean, though. I don't want him to think I'm ignoring him because i'm not, I just....... I don't know what to say. When we were on the island it was just the two of us, i mean throw in a monkey and a jaguar, but it was just us. Me and Dean. Alone. I don't want him to think that he doesn't mean anything to me because he does, I mean he was the first person i had sex with and I hold that dearly to my heart. I just....... I feel like now that we have all these people aroound us that it's going to change what we have, or had? I don't know. I guess what I can do for now is just try to talk to him and see where it goes. The only bad thing is what I want to talk to him about. See when we were on the island he asked me one day when i was puking bad if I might be pregant and i lied to him and told him no. I guess that's what I'm scared of. Becoming a mother. I didnt mean for it to happen, but it did and I'm not going to get rid of somehting that is part of me and someone i am in love with. I know it's hard to say your in love after 3 months, but i am and i'm SO scared to tell Dean he is going to be a father. Especially cause were both so young. "What am I gonna do," i asked myself rubbing my stomach where a little bump was forming. I guess I have to face reality. i am going to be a mother at 17.