Jared loves working at the library. He loves the books, and how easy it is to find everything you want too, from science to history, all at the same place. He loves how Miss Johnson always agrees to stay a little bit later, so they can talk about the book he just read, and how she always gave him something to eat before he left, no matter what time it is.
But most of all, Jared loves the library because it’s quiet. There’s only a few students in here, but they never stay long, and even when they stay, they’re quiet because that’s the rule.
It’s not that Jared doesn’t like people. It’s just that he is too shy, a little too clumsy, and a little too smart, according to Miss Johnson, which can scare people. He personally thinks that the smart part should be replaced with boring, because that’s pretty much what he is.
But today, the library is anything but quiet. There’s so much noise and people that he actually had trouble walking in, slipping through people, even if it’s mean; earning some accidental knocks on the shoulder and back.
“What is happening?” He asked Miss Johnson as soon as he saw her
“Oh, we have a special guest today!” She sounds excited, a big bright smile on her face, even brighter than this one time when Jared gave her cookies that he had made.
“Jensen Ackles. He’s going to do a dedication for his new book, and he chose our library to do so.”
Jared frowns. Sure, he had heard about Jensen Ackles, because who didn’t? But he thought he was an actor, not a writer. He told so to Miss Johnson, who looked at him like he come from another dimension. He had to hold back a sight. So, what if he doesn’t know who the man is? He knows the name and the story of all the most famous writers and poets, and even the less known.
“He’s an actor, and he just wrote his first book. It’s what everybody talks about, especially teenagers.”
She’s saying it like she’s trying to make him understand that he must know who the man is. He gave her a little smile, clearly uncomfortable with the situation, before excusing himself and walking forward to the emptiest spot he can find. He ended up right next to the archive, far, far away from the crowd.
He took his book from his bag, happy to not be able to hear all the noise from before, and let out a breath, relaxing in his chair.
“Dear lord.” He whispered, closing his eyes for a moment. He hates when, so many people are here, all talking and moving like they can’t stay still for a minute, not taking the time to appreciate anything else but themselves.
“Don’t think he’s here.”
He almost falls out of his chair, turning so fast it he makes him feel dizzy.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you”
The man who almost gave him have a heart attack is standing close to the rescue door, a truly sorry expression on his face. Jared may have wanted to snap at him for making him so afraid, but he can’t even come with a single word. The guy is beautiful. No, he’s glorious. He’s tall, taller than Jared, with dark blond hair and freckles all over his pale skin. He has the most beautiful eyes Jared ever saw, and at this point, Jared is sure he is blushing like he's never, well too aware of what he must look like. It’s not that he is ugly, but he’s clearly not a beautiful boy. His hair and legs are too long, he wears well to big clothes, trying to look bigger than he really is, and most of the time, he has two or three big pimples on the face. And his damn dimples, which made him look so stupid. So maybe he’s a bit ugly, but he’s pretty sure any everyone would look ugly next to this man anyway.
“I… I-It’s ok” He tried to say, failing miserably
The guy gave him a smile, and it’s nothing like the pity smile he was excepting.
“Can I sit?” He asked, moving to the chair next to Jared
“Yeah, I mean, I’m not excepting anyone so…” He mentally cursed himself. Why does he always have to say stupid things like that?
“I’m glad you're not” The guy answers, still smiling “What are you doing here, in the back?”
“Oh, I- There’s a lot of people. I just… I wanted to read my book”
“What are you reading?”
Did he take a hit to the head and pass out in the middle of the library and all of this is only in his head? Since when people are interested in what he reads?
He can’t get the words out of his mouth, so he just nods, pushing the book to the other man.
“It’s in French” He let out.
“You speak French?” The man has a surprised look on his face, but drops his stare so he can examine the book.
“A little. I’m still learning. It’s just that I couldn’t find this book in English so…”
The man nodded, and they stay quiet for a moment, Jared playing nervously with his hands. He should ask the man his name. Or maybe not. He has no idea, he never talks to strangers like that usually, which may say a lot from him.
“So, you love to read?”
“Why? I mean, people your age generally don’t like reading”
That’s it. That’s the moment the guy going to realize he is a freak.
“I… I don’t know, I just… I find it amazing, how you can create something with nothing but words, and make people feel things, make characters alive, create a new world.” The man looks like he was interested, so Jared keeps going. “I just love reading so much. Can you imagine bringing so much joy to someone? When you read, you’re so… It’s like being in another dimension, you know?”
“Yeah, I know” The guy keeps smiling, looking at Jared with sweet eyes, making him blush again. “You take reading quite seriously.”
“I do. It just makes me so mad that some people can write a book without even being passionate. Like this guy, Jensen Ackles. He’s just one of those stars who think that they can make a little extra money in doing a book. Even if he wrote it himself. I’m practically sure he didn’t even write it. But still, people come here, disturbing other people so they can see him. Most of them don’t give a shit about the book.”
“You seem like you hate the guy.”
“Hate is a big word,” Jared frowns, scratching his head. “It’s more… He makes me angry. That’s all. He probably can’t even read.”
“I can understand that.”
The guy keeps smiling, and Jared could feel his heart ready to beat out of his chest. It’s the first time that someone actually took an interest in him. Well, maybe taking an interest was a little too much. It’s the first time that someone's talked with him like that, anyway.
Jared saw Miss Johnson coming forward them, seeming pretty surprised. Jared smiles back, not sure why she was smiling so big.
“Hi, I’m sorry to interrupt you, but the dedication is about to start Mr. Ackles.”
“Oh yeah sure.”
The guy – Jensen Ackles, apparently-, stands up under the shocked stare of Jared. Of course, he had to tell this poor guy that he thought he was stupid. God. What a dumbass can he be!? Not a surprise no one likes him.
He was so absorbed in his mind-kicking that he almost didn’t see when Jensen gave him a paper.
“Wh-What is it?”
“My number. You know, if you want to talk about how I don’t know what I’m doing.” Jensen told him with a wink
Jared could feel blood leaving his face, and he was pretty sure that if dying from embarrassment was a thing, he would die right away.
“I’m so, so sorry.” He tried to defend himself
“Nothing to be sorry about. I actually enjoy talking to you a lot. So, if you want to give it another run, maybe we could discuss in front of a coffee or dinner?” Suddenly, Jensen looked almost as stressed as Jared.
Is this man really asking him on a date? After everything he told him?
“You don’t have to say yes.”
“No! I mean, yes.! I would really like that.”
Jensen leaves him, but not without giving him one last smile, his eyes full of what Jared thought was joy.
Jared loves the library even more now.
I don't really know if I should turn this into a serie ? Let me know what you think !
Jared wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Should he wait for Jensen to finish what he was doing, or should he go home and text him later?
He had planned on staying at the library until closing, reading a book or writing something, but now he wasn’t really sure. He should wait. That was surely the best thing to do. He had been so mean to Jensen, he didn’t want to take the risk of hurting him more. He closed his eyes, thinking about the horrific things he told Jensen. Well, it wasn’t that bad, but still. He knows that it always hurts when people are mean with you for no reason. But he didn’t do it on purpose, so that was ok, right? Plus, Jensen didn’t seem that hurt.
He decided that in order to make things right with Jensen, he should know a little more about him, so he wouldn’t make blunders again.
According to Wikipedia, Jensen is 27 years old, which means that he was 10 years older than Jared. He was from Texas, like him, but he wasn’t living here anymore, preferring the big cities. He was an actor, a writer, and also a model, which was really not surprising. Apparently through, you can find a lot of things the on internet, and Jared wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with this new information. Everything was here, from his favorite food to the size of his feet, and even the brand of his underwear.
But Jared also found out that Jensen had a lot of conquests, from both genders, mostly some fans who claimed that they had a one-night thing. Jared's stomach clenched when he read the numerous articles. Is that why Jensen talked to him in the first place? Only so he could get into his pants? He laughed at himself for thinking one minute that someone may be interested in him, for who he really was. Well, it was also hard to think that someone would want him in a sexual way too, even more when that someone was Jensen.
Maybe Jensen was into weird nerd teenagers who can’t get three words out of their mouths without making a fool of themselves. Or maybe he was into virgins. That was more likely.
He should go home, now, while he still can. He can’t lose his virginity to a man he barely knows, let alone a celebrity. He knew he was gay for a long time now, but the farthest he went with someone was through the porn he watched online. Yeah, so much for an experience.
He didn’t had time to think more about it, because Jensen was already walking in his direction, a bright smile on his face. He was even more glorious than earlier.
“Hey, are you ready to go?”
“Yeah. Sure.” He wasn't at all but ready, but what else could he say?
He quickly packs his things, ignoring the stress that was rushing inside of him, before standing in front of Jensen, not sure of what to do now.
“We need to go out through the back door.”
“There’s paparazzi at the front door. Unless you want your face all over internet by tomorrow?” Jensen asked, smiling playfully
“God no.” He made a horrific face, imagining his family reaction if he was seen with Jensen.
Jensen laughed this time, a true, real laugh, and it made Jared's stomach clench. Jensen put an arm around his back, guiding him toward the door, and he was pretty sure that this single touch wasn’t supposed to make him blush so much.
They walked to Jensen’s car, which was probably the most glorious thing Jared ever saw. It was a big black jeep, like the one he saw sometimes on movies, and he couldn’t wait to get inside.
“You like it?”
“Yeah. It’s… It looks so powerful.” Jared was caressing the car, which probably made him look a little weird, but that wasn’t something new.
“You ever drive something like this?” Jensen asked, opening the driver door.
“Me?” Jared frowns. He was the third son on a four children family. He doesn’t have a car. Even if he did, it would be something closer to a trash can than an actual car. “No. I haven't. My brothers both have trucks, but I’m not allow to drive them.”
“Why not?” This time, it was Jensen who frowned, “You know how to drive right?”
“Of course, I do!” Jared defended himself. “It’s just that we’re not really on good terms so, yeah. No cars for me.”
Jensen stayed silent for a moment, and Jared cursed himself. Of course, he had talked too much. There wasn’t any normal state for him. Either he would talk too much, or not enough. Nothing in between. Jensen was probably gonna pretend to have some important meeting and never talk to him again.
“You want to drive it?”
It was definitely not what he was excepting. He looked at Jensen like he had lost his mind. Who would let a perfect stranger drive his expensive car? No one. Ever.
“What if I crash the car?”
“Then I will buy a new one.”
“Oh” It didn’t occur him that Jensen was rich. He didn’t seem to look at him like he was some poor boy, and he sure as hell doesn’t speak like a snob.
“Come on Jared, I’m sure you’re a good driver.”
“I didn’t tell you my name.”
“I didn’t tell you my name.”
Jensen looked really tense, running his hand through his short hair, looking anywhere but at Jared.
“I asked Miss Johnson.”
“You did not!” Jared was already freaking out. Did he tell her they were going on a date? Was it a date? He had no idea. But he knows damn right that if his parents find out he’s gay, nobody will see him for a really, really long time.
“Yes. I told her that you wanted an autograph, but I didn’t have any book with me, and I couldn’t remember your name.”
Jared was debating if Miss Johnson would buy this, and when he was convinced, he relaxed a little.
“You’re a good liar.”
“I’m a good actor.”
They shared an accomplice smile before Jensen made a sign for him to get in the car.
“Come on, I’m not gonna eat you.” He smirked, and Jared felt himself blush. Again.
He got in the car on the driver side, and he never felt so happy and excited in his life. The seat was more comfortable than his own bed, he was sure. Judging by the smell, the car must be new, and he couldn’t help but sniff the air.
Jensen had an “aww” expression on his face, and Jared bits his lip, feeling a little ridiculous.
“Where are we going?”
“Start the car, I will guide you.”
Jared smiled before doing just that, forgetting all his worries for the moment.
I chose to do a long fic, instead of a serie. Hope you would like it !
Tell me what you think about it, so I know if I should keep going or not.
They drove for about an hour, Jensen refusing to tell him where they were going, only assuring that he wasn’t gonna kill him, and even if it was a joke, it kinda reassured Jared.
They spent the entire drive talking. Jared tried excusing himself again about the words he said earlier. Jensen only laughed, telling him that it was fine, and that he shouldn’t be sorry to say what he thought.
“But I mean… Why a book?” Jared asked, eyes fix on the road.
“I don’t know. I wanted to do something more authentic, more personal. Something I could create myself, do everything that I wanted without being afraid of anything. It was supposed to be a thriller, some mind twisted book. I spent two years writing it.”
“Two years?” Jared couldn’t hold back his surprise. He assumed the book was about Jensen and his life, some “Get to know me better” book.
“Yeah” Jensen smiled, but it quickly faded away. “My manager read it and said that even if it was good, I couldn’t publish it. So, you can’t read my thriller but you do can read about how I found the best steak to eat in all of Texas.” He tried to laugh but it was clear that it wasn’t funny for him at all. Jared gave him a tiny smile, not sure of what to do. He knows how it is when you can’t do what you really want to because others don’t agree with you.
“I’m sure your thriller was amazing.”
They share a quick smile before fading in a comforting silence. Jared was amazed by how nice Jensen is. Not the celebrity attitude at all, listening attentively to everything he was saying, and he wonders briefly if Jensen was only doing that so they would sleep together. He seems to truly enjoy Jared’s company, but lying was kinda his job right?
“Turn to the left.”
Jared did as he was told, stopping the car in front of a really fancy restaurant, a place he would never ever dream of going.
“I don’t… I’m not really dressed for this kind of place.” He said when Jensen opened the car for him.
“You’re awesome just like this, don’t worry.”
They start walking to the door. Jensen’s compliment sticks in his head as they enter the restaurant. it was even more beautiful inside than what Jared thought. There were only a few people in it, but as soon as they saw him, they frowned, staring at him like he was a junkie. Automatically, he leans on Jensen a little, searching for reassurance, which Jensen provided by putting his arms around his hips.
Jared hates going in new places, even if it’s not a fancy one. It stresses him on a high level, making his stomach painful, his mind telling him that he shouldn’t be here because what if he gets sick, and he can’t go to the bathroom? What if someone tells him something, and he doesn’t know how to respond? Or what if someone robs him? Well, in this place, no one will rob him, but still. He hates being away from home.
“Are you ok?” Jensen whispered in his ear, and he felt himself shiver. Jensen. He had to focus on him. Nothing else but him.
“Yeah.” His voice was not as reassuring has he wanted it to be, but at least he said something.
Jensen didn’t look convinced but he didn’t say anything else, only making him sit in front of him.
The waiter came with the menu, and Jared realized once again that this place wasn’t for him. He couldn’t read any of the plates that were written, even the drinks had weird names. His heart was beating even stronger, his hands moist from the stress.
“What do you want?”
“I… Can you choose for me?” He tried to smile but only end up making a grimace.
“Do you want meat or fish?”
The silence in which they fell was nothing like the previous one. It was awkward, tense, and if he could disappear, Jared would gladly do it.
What was he thinking, saying yes, to Jensen? He wasn’t even capable of calling to take a meeting with his doctor without writing down what he has to say and repeating it ten times before actually calling, but here he was, with one of the most famous men, in a fancy restaurant, waiting for Jensen to tell him to bend over so he would fill his part of the contra.
It was what it was. A contra. Jensen took him here because he, somehow, wanting to have sex with him. He wasn’t special, just another stupid teen who ended up doing something stupid.
“I’m so stupid.” Jensen sighs, getting up.
Jared swallows hard, eyes dropped on the floor.
“I’m sorry Jay. I don’t… This is not me. And definitely not you. I think we should go.”
Jared didn’t even answer. He just got up, and followed Jensen to the car. This time he sits in the passenger seat.
They drove without talking, no music or laughing like an hour ago. Jared mentally cursed himself for being so naïve and stupid.
The car stopped thirty minutes later, and he wasn’t sure why until he saw the McDonalds sign.
“This is better right?” Jensen asked, guilt written all over his face.
“You don’t have to.” He whispers
“No, I do. I… I wanted to impress you, but you’re not like that. You’re real, and that restaurant? It was everything but real. I didn’t like it either.”
“Hell no. I’m forced to eat in those because my manager asked me too. You know, publicity and all of that. But for me? Nothing’s better than a good hamburger.”
Jared couldn’t help but smile, the knot in his stomach slowly going away. Jensen was nice. He wasn’t pretending.
He bits his bottom lip, not really sure how to bring up the next subject.
“Jensen, I… I like you. I mean, you’re nice and everything. But I don’t… I don’t think I want to have sex with a guy I just met.”
Jensen's smile disappears immediately, and he's looking at Jared with so much anger that it scares him for a moment.
“You think that's why I brought you here?”
“Y-Yeah. I… The articles. They said you slept with fans and I… Why would you to talk with me otherwise?”
The anger was gone so fast that Jared doubts for a moment it was even there. Jensen’s green eyes were all soft, even a little sad. Why? Jared couldn’t understand.
“Jared I’m talking to you because I’m enjoying being with you. You’re nice. More than nice. And funny, smart, beautiful, and a lot of other things. I wanted us to get to know each other. That’s all. Those articles...They don’t… That’s not the truth. I did it once. Sleeping with a fan. The girl told everyone, took pictures, and now I’m supposed to have sex with every person I meet. But I'm not like that.”
Jared was trying to digest everything he heard, from the nice compliments to the horrific experience that happened to Jensen. He couldn’t even imagine what it was like, having someone taking pictures of you and showing them to everyone.
“You find me beautiful?” Jared asked shyly
It gets him a happy smile from Jensen, even though he looks a little embarrassed.
“Shut up.” He said before driving to the drive thru.
They both kept smiling after that, even bigger when Jensen’s ketchup splashed into his face, and when he accidently put some on Jared’s own face.
Tell me what you thought about it !
“No, I’m not”
“Yes you are” Jared laughed, amusing by the false hurt face of Jensen. “You really never saw any Harry Potter? Like, never, in your whole life?”
“You’re saying this like I’m old”
“Well, I’m not the one who say this but... Ouch” He wined when Jensen punched his arms and put himself as far away as the car allows it.
“You should know, young man, that’s I’m not that old. And no, I never saw Harry Potter. I’m actually surprise you saw it. What about the “I don’t watch television or any movie”?”
“I made an exception for this movie. You should do the same”
“I’m a little hurt that you watch Harry Potter but none of my movie” He putted his hand on his heart, his face twisting in a horrific grimace. Jared rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. Jensen was always making a comedy of everything, knowing exactly how to make him laugh.
“I did, actually” He whispered, feeling the heat raising on his face
“What was that?”
“I did” He says louder “I… After we meet. I watch some of your movies”
For probably the first time, Jensen looked stressed, his body tensing immediately. He probably shouldn’t had say anything. What is creepier than someone watching you but without telling you? He was about to apologize but Jensen spoke first.
“What do you think of them?”
Jared hissed in surprise when he realized that Jensen wasn’t made at him. He was insecure. He never thought that it could be possible. How a man like that can ever have doubt about himself? He considers making a joke to break the awkward tension but go against it.
“You were good, Jen. Amazing even” He looked at Jensen, offering him what he hoped was a comforting smile.
Jensen stared at him for a moment, analyzing his face, searching for any proof that he was lying, but when he didn’t find it, he relax instantly and gave Jared a smile.
“Thanks. I mean, you’re probably saying that because I’m driving and you’re afraid I may crash the car, but thanks anyway”
“Oh yeah, that’s definitely why I say that”
They both share a laugh, the previous tension totally gone now.
“Where are we going?” Jared asked. They had been driving for the last hour, and as much as he loves Jensen car, it was starting to feel uncomfortable.
“I thought we could go to my place. Catch on movies or something”
Jared heart skipped a beat. It was their third date, and he knows what that means. He likes Jensen, a lot, but they never kissed or talk about getting in a relationship. It wasn’t even true date, more like hanging out with an amazing friend.
“You look like I just kill your puppy” Jensen said, looking at Jared instead of the road.
“No, I don’t” It came out harder than he attends it too and for a fraction of time, Jensen seemed hurt. “Sorry, I didn’t…” He sighs, not sure of what to say.
“I’m not taking you home, so we can… Do whatever you think we’re going to do. I just… There’s not a lot of places where I can take you, without risking being recognized. But if you don’t want to go home with me, I can turn around without any problem. I won’t get mad or anything, I promise”
He considers it for a second. It was stupid, having drove here for finally getting home. He already told his mother that he won’t be here for dinner, so even if he came home, he won’t have any food left for him. Plus, he really didn’t mind going at Jensen place. Or, for what it worth, making out with him if the situation was favorable. He was just so nervous. He never done anything like that, ever. Not even a little smack on the lips. On the other hand, Jensen was older, experienced, and so glorious. The minute their lips will meet, he will know that he had made a mistake and Jared will be humiliated forever.
He bits his bottom lips, trying to decide what to do. He could feel his stomach clenched from all the stress he was putting in him.
“I… I want to go to your place”
“Yeah” He gave him a tiny smile, assuring him that he had made his decision.
“That’s a good thing because we’re here”
They stopped in front of a huge portal, blocking the view of the house.
At Jared’s house, there no portal, because there’s nothing to steal or to hide. They are four kids, Derek, Jeff, him and Megan. Their dad worked on a garage and his mom used to do the cleaning, before her back hurt too much. They’re not poor, but they’re sure as hell not rich. Derek’s girlfriend, Amanda, lives with them too, so Derek got his own room. Jared has to share with Jeff, which could be fine if his brother wasn’t such an asshole. They got one bathroom for all of them, with broken bathroom and hot water that only last for 3 showers. There’s not a day where you can’t find a dirty underwear or some food in the living room, despise their mother’s yelling.
Jensen house isn’t like that, at all.
It’s big, functional, clean and as impersonal as a house can be. There’s no picture, no trinkets or anything that show that someone is living here.
“It’s not my principal house. I’m not spending a lot of time here so…” Jensen try to defend himself, obviously award of the image that reflect his house.
“What do you mean it’s not your principal house?”
“Well I… I’ve got an apartment in Vancouver, a house in LA, and another one in Florida”
“You’ve got four houses?” Jared asked, eyes big
Jensen nodded, looking ashamed. There’s no reason for him to be ashamed. He works hard for this, he should be proud. Even if Jared can’t see why someone would ever need four houses.
“So, what about a movie?” Jensen asked, sitting on the couch.
“Yeah, sure” Jared sit awkwardly beside him, afraid to do something wrong
Jensen’s television was incurved, bright, and so big that Jared wonder how it even fit in the room. The shutters were all close, which helped Jared stress to go away a little.
Harry Potter started to play, with a wink from Jensen, who sit closer than before to Jared, despise the size of the couch.
Jared didn’t watch the movie, to busy admiring Jensen. He was even more beautiful like that, with the light of the screen illuminating his face, his eyes bright from happiness. He looked at Jared multiples times, but Jared just look away, praying that he wasn’t caught staring.
He was filling more and more relax, and his body moved without his accord forward Jensen, their arms and legs glue to each other. At some point during the movie, Jared’s head fall on Jensen shoulder’s, while Jensen arms slides around his waist, but none of them say anything.
When you live in a world like Jensen does, you meet a lot of people. Some are nice, some aren’t, but in the end, they’re all the same. They can pretend all they like, dress in the most expensive clothes, trying to get a look that says, “we’re not the same” even if they are, going to parties after parties. It’s exhausting, and pathetic. But like all of them, is like that, too, he knows that.
But Jared… God, Jared. Jared may be the most perfect person he ever seen. He has flaws too, Jensen can see that. He can’t stop talking while watching a movie, he has this way of always rolling his eyes when someone says something, and he leaves his clothes and books everywhere. Last time she came to her house, Jensen’s mom almost found one of Jared’s boxers that he left here two nights ago, and even if he’s not ashamed of him, he’s sure that Jared doesn’t want to meet his mom yet.
See, Jared has a lot of flaws. But that’s part of what make him perfect for Jensen. Where other people would pretend, Jared is true. He’s not pretending to be someone he’s not, or pretending to love things when he doesn’t. He’s not rude, and he won’t say a thing, but his body betrays him.
Jared's still amazed by everything. From the flower that just bloomed to the fact that you can talk to someone, even if this person is hours away from where you are. When he talks, there are millions of stars in his eyes, and Jensen can’t look away, not when Jared is so beautiful in front of him.
“What are you thinking?” Jared asked, his head on the pillow next to Jensen.
Jared blushed furiously, attempting to hide his face but Jensen is too fast, his hands encircling Jared’s face. He’s looking at him with his big blues eyes and Jensen had to hold back not to kiss him. They’re not here yet, probably soon but not now.
The thing is, Jared is anxious. About everything. From going to the restaurant to sitting alone at school. One time, when they were talking late at night, he confessed that he was less anxious when Jensen was here than with anyone else. Jensen though about it for weeks.
Jensen's got to admit that he’s nervous, too. He’s falling way too hard, and way too fast for Jared. He never felt like that before, and it’s both exciting and scary. He’s afraid Jared will realize that no, he’s not that awesome, and that maybe he deserves better. He feels naked when he’s with Jared, like he can see right through his soul.
“You’re amazing, you know that?” He whispered, caressing his cheek gently.
Jared smiles, moving instinctively a little closer to Jensen. His dimples are apparent and Jensen wonders if Jared would let him kiss them.
“That’s definitely weird,” Jared said, throwing his head back while laughing.
This time, it’s Jensen's turns to blush when he realizes he actually said that. He starts to laugh too, before attacking Jared with tickles.
“Ok, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jared yelled, tears in his eyes.
“Who’s the best?” He asked, moving his fingers to Jared's waist.
“Who’s the most beautiful?”
“It’s… God Jen stop! It’s you!”
Jensen stopped torturing him, but Jared is laughing so hard that he had trouble breathing.
“You’re an ass,” He said, passing his hands in his hair.
“Am not,” Jensen defends himself, sticking his tongue like a child.
“A really immature ass.”
They laughed again before finally calming down. Jensen collapsed on top of Jared. He starts curling the young boy's hair, playing with it gently, while Jared is looking at him like he owns the sky.
“You wanna stay tonight?”
“Can’t. My mom… She asks questions, you know. She thinks I’m on drugs or something.” He laughs again but there's no happiness this time “She doesn’t believe I have a friend. Neither do the others.”
“Am I your imaginary friend?” Jensen asked, scrubbing his nose against Jared’s.
“Sometimes I think you are,” It came out as a whisper and it hits Jensen right in the heart. He wishes Jared could see himself as he saw him. Hell, he wishes Jared’s family could see him like he really is.
“Then you have a really great imagination because I feel very alive.”
He can’t read Jared’s expression, can’t understand what is hiding under his smile but it doesn’t look like something bad, so he doesn’t say anything.
“Hey, I was wondering… There’s an exposition. At the museum. I know that it’s not the most awesome place or anything, but I was wondering if, maybe, you would like to come with me?” Jared is biting his lower lip, dragging Jensen’s look to his mouth immediately. He must have seen him because when Jensen looks at him again, Jared face is redder than ever.
“Next week. It’s… It won’t take long, just… I don’t like doing it alone.”
“Oh, I thought it was because you loved spending time with me but that’s ok, really.” Jensen rolled over, sitting on the bed next to Jared, arms crossed against his chest.
Jared gave him an apologetic smile before putting his head on Jensen’s lap.
“Well, that’s like, the third reason or something. But definitely one of the reasons.”
Jensen tries not to laugh but fails completely.
“Then ok. I’m flying to L.A this week, but I’ll be back on Monday. Is it ok?”
“You’ve got a date then,” He smirks to Jared before getting out of the bed, forcing Jared to move. “Come on, I’ll drop you before your mom thinks you're dying from an overdose.”
“What a caring boy you are.”
Jensen wraps one of his hands around Jared’s waist, dragging him closer.
“That my biggest flaw, can you believe that?”
Much to his pleasure, Jared laughed again, and he will be damned if there’s a sound more beautiful than that.
Sorry for the wait, I was completely block on this story, but I get back on my feet,
I hope you love this one, and if some of you want to see particular scene or anything, just tell me, I'm open to suggestions
“So, Jared, you were with your friend again?” Sharon asked, failing at keeping her tone neutral.
“Yeah” He doesn’t look at her or to anyone, doesn’t want to see their worrying eyes who are screaming liar to his face.
“Are we gonna meet him soon?”
“I don’t know mom. He’s busy.” That’s part true. He’s practically sure that if he asked, Jensen will come. But it’s a secret to no one that Jensen is bi, and he doesn’t want to give his mom a heart attack. Or let his father kill Jensen.
“I say, even if Jay is doing drugs, it still better than staying in a library all day. He may not be a freak after all.” Derek laughed, mouth full of food and Jeff quickly follows him.
Jared rolled his eyes but doesn’t say anything. No matter what he will say, they won’t believe him anyway.
“Maybe it’s not a friend.” Megan said, and Jared is actually surprised to hear her. She never takes part of the debate about what Jared was or wasn’t doing, and until now, Jared was infinitely grateful. “Maybe it’s a boyfriend.”
If words could kill, Jared’s entire family would have died instantly. His mother is looking at Megan like she just lost her mind, and their dad hand is clenched into a fist. If it had been one of the boys, he would have hit him. But it was Megan, “Daddy’s little princess” and he never, ever, laid a hand on her.
“I don’t want to hear that ever again,” His jaw is as clenched as his fist, talking in a rough, cold voice “None of my sons are sick, you got it?”
“Being gay isn’t a sickness dad,” Megan says, rolling her eyes. Jesus, what has gotten into her?
“Drop the topic Megan.” He hits the table, making their mom gasp in fear.
Jared is tetanized. Does Megan know something? Or is she just being annoying? She’s probably testing the water, trying to break their father's patience. She wants to be treated like the boys, and even if Jared is ok with it most of the time, he’s not here. He doesn’t want his father to hit his sister. Not now, or ever.
He doesn’t know why Megan’s doing that, but she’s dragging Jared with her. No one knows he’s gay except Jensen. Well, if he had to speak the truth, he wasn’t even sure himself before Jensen. Girls didn’t apply to him, but all the boys he met were asshole and he never exchanged more than a few words with them. But Jensen… Jensen made everything clear. He was exactly what Jared was looking for without even being aware of it.
The rest of the dinner went without anyone talking. Their father was biting angrily into his food, while their mother kept looking at Jared like she was waiting for a rainbow to pop out of his mouth.
When they were on the way back to their rooms, Jared was surprised to see Megan following him. He closed the door, hoping that Jeff wouldn't come anytime soon.
“Hey,” She said, sitting on the edge of the bed. She never came to their room. They weren’t a close family at all, and the interactions were keep to the minimum. “I’m sorry, for earlier. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“It’s… That’s ok Meg. Not big deal.”
She looked at him with a serious face, and Jared could see how guilty she felt.
“Yes, it is Jared. I… I know. I saw… I saw a text, from the guy you’re with. He was talking about a date and he… He said that you were cute.” Jared couldn’t tell which one of them was blushing more and he immediately dropped his eyes to the floor, afraid of what was coming. “I… I won’t tell anything. I promise. It’s… Jay, you’re not sick, you know that? It’s… It’s natural. I know that. I don’t value you less, and I don’t see you any different. Earlier I.. I tried to defend you, you know? Because Jeff and Dereck, they can’t see how amazing you are, but I can.” Her face got softer, and she offered Jared a warm smile. “I can see how happy you look, I’m glad you found someone.”
Jared couldn’t bring himself to face his little sister, not when she was saying so many nice things to him. Maybe he should talk more with her, she seemed like a good person, a nice one. He was glad that she accepted him, even if he was a little discomforted with her knowing that he was gay. At least, she doesn’t know who her boyfriend is.
It hits him hard when he thought about it. Is Jensen really his boyfriend? They never kiss, but they share intimate moments, and when Jared slept at his home, they shared the same bed. He was pretty sure that friends weren’t doing that. He would say that they are in a relationship, but what if he’s the only one to think that? Maybe Jensen isn’t feeling the same at all?
He knows that’s not true. He could feel that Jensen was interested in him. Every time they slept together, Jared would wake up with Jensen’s hard on pressing on his back. Then there was this one time when Jensen was literally rubbing himself against the sheets while calling Jared’s name, and the awkward moment where Jensen realized what he was doing, it was one of the hottest things he'd experienced.
He could see it, too, every time Jensen looked at him like he was the most amazing thing in the world. He doesn't know how it was possible, but apparently, Jensen loved both his body and personality.
Still, they didn’t say anything or promise anything to each other.
“You ok Jay?”
“Yeah, I… Thank you, Megan, it’s… It was really nice. Everything you said. And I’m not mad for earlier, don’t worry.”
She smiled before leaving the room, leaving Jared with a lot of doubts. What was really going on with Jensen?
Monday came sooner than Jared wanted. He and Jensen had barely spoke since last time they’d seen each other since Jensen was having a hard time getting away from the cameras. He had been assured that it was unusual, that he’d normally able to call and text more, but this movie was apparently harder to film than others.
He feels guilty admitting it, but Jared doesn’t mind the quietness. Sure, he misses Jensen a lot, but he also needs time to study, and most of all, to think about them.
It’s not easy to have a conversation about the future of your relationship when you’re alone, but it wasn’t fair to start talking about it with Jensen on the other side of the world.
So, he focuses on himself instead.
Does he really want to be with Jensen? Yes, obviously, that question is easy.
Does he think he deserves Jensen? No, but apparently Jensen does. Or at least, he thinks he does.
Will they ever be able to have a normal relationship? That’s the hardest part, because as magical as it is with Jensen when they’re hiding in his apartment, he also knows that once they’re really together, it won’t be possible. They won’t be able to go out without someone following them and Jared’s face will be on internet forever. He really doesn’t want that kind of attention on him.
Never mind how his family will react.
And what about Jensen’s career? Jared is underage and will be for a few months yet. What if Jensen gets into troubles because of him? He built up his career all by himself. It’s not fair to destroy everything for one person, even if they love each other.
Is he overthinking? Probably. Jensen hasn’t kissed him; hasn’t asked him to be his boyfriend or anything. They’re not together together, not yet anyway.
“Jay? Did you fall asleep?”
Jensen’s face is so close to his that he can feel his breath on his skin and he knows that Jensen’s probably doing is best not to laugh at Jared’s surprise.
“First time I’ve see someone sleeping with their eyes open.” Jensen laughed, righting himself in his seat.
“Sorry, I was… sorry.” Jared said, brushing the hair out of his eyes.
“No problem.” He winked, glancing quickly in his direction while keeping an eye on the road, “Hope you were thinking about me.”
“Yeah, sure.” He rolls his eyes, which earns him a slap to the back of the head. “You’re not supposed to take your hands off the wheel you know?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. Are you gonna call the cops?”
“Well, that would be bad for our little date.”
Jared licked his lips, trying to find the right thing to say. He doesn’t know what he supposed to do; doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. He just knows that he needs answers right now, before it’s too late to pretend that nothing’s happening.
“Can you stop the car?”
“What?” Jensen frowns, glancing toward Jared.
“Stop the car please.”
Jensen does as he’s asked, stopping the car as soon as possible.
“Are you sick?”
“No, I… what’s going on between us?”
Jensen seems taken aback for a moment before quickly hiding it and choosing to smile instead.
“Well, what do you think is going on?”
If killing him was an option, Jensen would be dead by now. Jared sighs, rubbing his eyes. If Jensen keeps answering all his questions with the same question, they weren’t going to get very far.
“I asked first.” He says, even though it sounds childish
“I… I don’t know, Jay. I mean, I know what I want, but I don’t know what you want.”
The truth is, he doesn’t know what he wants either. He wants Jensen, he knows that, but he doesn’t want the fame or the deception.
“I’m scared that… I want to go further, but I’m afraid it will come back to bite us. I mean, what about my parents? And what about your career? We can’t just… ruin everything.”
“Ruin everything?” Jensen repeats, eyes widening, “We’re not ruining everything by dating Jared. I can’t make the decision for you, but I can tell you that we don’t need to tell your parents. Not right now, anyway. My career won’t take a hit because I’m dating you, and the world won’t stop spinning either. I can’t promise you that we won’t get caught, or that there won’t be a moment where someone will find out about us, but I just… I want to try. If you want too, of course.”
Jared doesn’t answer right away, trying to focus on what he wants instead of Jensen.
Maybe Jensen is right. Maybe they should take the risk and just let themselves love each other and live. But there’s so much that they could lose, so many problems they will have to face. He’s not sure he can handle it.
“I don’t… I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the pressure.” He whispers, dropping his head to hide his face.
They both stay silent for a moment, the only sound coming from the traffic outside the car. It was the first time in a long time that Jared felt uncomfortable with Jensen, but he doesn’t feel guilty for speaking his mind.
“You want to stop then?” Jensen asked, voice shaking.
“No,” he admitted, even if it was contradictory, “I don’t want to stop. But I don’t want to… fuck, I don’t know what I want Jen, I just know that I want to be with you.”
“Then be with me.” Jensen took his hand, interlacing their fingers, “I can’t promise you that everything will be fine Jay, but I can tell you that if you don’t try, you’ll regret it. I’ll protect you, as much as I can, that I can promise.”
Jensen is looking him right in the eyes, as if he can see his soul. It gives Jared the feeling of being loved and wanted, but most of all, it gives him courage.
“Ok.” The words are weak but it’s enough to make Jensen smile, truly smile.
Jensen leaned in until his face was front of Jared’s with just a few inches between them. Jared’s heart is beating so hard that he’s pretty sure Jensen can hear it, but he doesn’t care, not when Jensen’s beautiful lips are so close to his.
“Can I kiss you?” Jensen asks, his breath hitting Jared’s face.
He nods, not trusting his voice and the next second Jensen is kissing him.
He doesn’t know what to do at first. He’s never had the chance to kiss anyone, but Jensen is guiding him and soon, he’s kissing him back enthusiastically , all the doubts from earlier vanishing.
Right here, right now, nothing matters except them.
So, uh, long time not posting on this story. Gonna tell the true, I thought no one was reading it so I just gave up. But I want to finish this story, so I'm back again !
Side note, my beta kind of vanished, so this story chapter is un-beta until I find a new beta.
“Jen, where do I put this one?” Jared asks, holding a box full of clothes in his arms.
“Uh… Drop it where you can find space.”
“Oh, that’s really helpful, thanks” He said, rolling his eyes.
Jensen gives him the finger and Jared can’t help but laugh.
He put the boxes on the table, next to all the others. Last month, Jensen decided to make this house his principle house, for practical reasons of course, which was only an excuse to be closer to Jared. Not that he minds, though. The new furniture is giving life to the cold house, and Jared even noticed that Jensen put a picture of them on the wall of his bedroom. He didn’t mention it, but he finds himself smiling every time he sees it.
Unfortunately, moving means that they had to get all of Jensen’s stuff from his old house to this one. When Jensen mentioned that he wanted to pay someone to do it, Jared claimed that it was more fun and intimate to do it together. Needless to say, he regrets it bitterly now.
“Ok, how about a break?” Jensen asked, sweat dripping down his face.
“Yeah, you kind of look like crap.”
Jensen makes a choking face before pointing at himself.
“Me? I look like crap? I’ll have you know that I am on the list of the top ten hottest men in America so I would weigh my words if I were you.”
“That’s only because they haven’t seen you without makeup.”
“Oh, that’s it!” Jensen yelled, running in Jared’s direction.
He barely has time to see what was coming before he’s picked up and thrown over Jensen’s shoulder with a yelp.
“Put me down! Come on Jen, it’s not funny!” He’s laughing so hard that he’s having trouble speaking clearly, but he doesn’t care.
“No. All the belongings have to go in the right room, don’t they?”
“I’m not a belonging!” He yells, trying to kick Jensen with one of his feet.
But Jensen just climbs the stairs, his hands holding Jared tightly over his shoulder, before opening the bedroom and throwing Jared on the bed.
“This is my place?” Jared laughs, scooting himself to the center of the bed.
“Well, I think you look pretty good here.”
Jensen slides on top of Jared and kisses him before rubbing his sweaty forehead against Jared’s face.
“Oh, come on, you love it.”
Jared rolls his eyes but spreads his legs, so Jensen can position himself better. He doesn’t really mind his boyfriend’s behavior, especially not when it lets him to feel all of Jensen’s body against his.
They’ve been dating for two months now, and despite to what Jared expected, nothing bad has happened yet. The world didn’t stop spinning, the birds didn’t stop flying, and most of all, no one has found out about them.
They’re still careful, only going out to places they know are safe and hiding themselves when it’s necessary. Jared’s parents are still not aware of what’s going on, but they’ve stopped asking. It almost looks too good to be true.
Jensen slides his lips from his mouth to his neck, sucking on the little spot that makes Jared shiver. He can already feel himself hardening but he doesn’t say anything, not when he can feel Jensen’s own cock responding.
He slides his hands to the back of Jensen’s head, dragging him even closer while wrapping his legs around Jensen’s waist.
“Fuck” Jensen breathes, biting gently.
“Don’t leave bruises Jen.” He sighs in happiness, moving his hips so they can rub against each other.
“No, I mean,” Jensen isn’t kissing him anymore and he’s moved his hand to his pocket, or at least he’s trying to since Jared isn’t doing anything to help him “sorry, my phone is ringing.”
Jared throws his head back on the pillow, growling in discontent. Jensen gives him a quick kiss on the lips before answering his phone and getting out of bed.
“Hey Singer.” Jensen says, throwing an apologetic smile at Jared. “Yeah, of course, I’m listening.”
Jared rolls out of the bed and takes his book out of his bag. Knowing Jensen’s manager, the call will be a long and boring one, which gives him plenty of time to read.
To his surprise, Jensen had a lot of books in his old house that he gladly brought to his new place for Jared to read. He even put a little library together for him in the bedroom. It’s stupid, but it’s little things like that, that make Jared fall in love with him a little more every day.
He doesn’t really have time to go to the library anymore, but he doesn’t miss it. He loved the place because it allowed him to be alone, but he could never be as comfortable as he is now, snuggled in the big bed with Jensen’s too big sweatshirt on.
Here, he’s free to do whatever he wants, however he wants. Maybe one of the reasons he doesn’t go to the library is that now, he doesn’t want to spend as much time alone. Why would you want to spend time alone when you have the hottest and sweetest boyfriend ever?
He’s lost in his thoughts when Jensen suddenly jumps on the bed and drops a kiss on his cheek.
“Done with your call already?”
“Yes.” Jensen sighs and Jared immediately knows. He’s leaving.
“In a week. I need to meet people, so it won’t be a really long trip.”
“Where is it?”
“You’re going to Paris?” He asked, eyes widening.
“Yeah,” Jensen laughed “wanna come?”
“My parents would kill me.”
“It’s only a week. And you’ve got a holiday break, right?”
Jared bites his lip. Of course, he wants to go with Jensen. Who wouldn’t want to go to Paris? Maybe his parents would say yes. They never really cared when his siblings took holidays away from home, so why should they care now? He’s never been to another country and the last time he went on an actual holiday, he was four.
“I need to ask.”
He doesn’t even have time to finish his sentence before Jensen is tackling him, knocking all the air from his lungs.
Thank you all for all the comments, I didn't thought so many people were reading this.
Good news, the fic will be beta pretty soon ! Hopefully, in the following week
Hope you like this chapter ;)
“You want to go...” Jared mom says, arms crossed against her chest.
“You want to take a flight, to Paris, for a whole week with a stranger.”
“He’s not a stranger,” Jared says, shifting uncomfortably on his chair “He’s my friend.”
“Your friend? That we’ve never seen?”
“Come on mom, I’m with him all the time. What’s the matter?”
“The matter is that my 17 year old son wants to go in Europe, with a stranger, and I’m supposed to be ok with it. That’s the matter, Jared.” She’s pissed, there’s no doubt about that, and Jared regrets even telling her about it. Maybe he should have just gone without telling anyone and it would have been ok.
“Maybe instead of travelling you could work. Or if you don’t, you could stay home and actually help us.”
“Help you?” Jared repeats, “I’m helping you! All the time! I’m the only one here helping you!”
“You don’t yell at me!” She yells, her face twisting in a grimace. “You can’t go, and that’s it!”
“But I want to!” He tries to calm himself. He’s never yelled at his mom, or even replied when she was telling him something he didn’t agree with. But this isn’t fair, this is the opposite of fair. How can she mistrust him when he’s never done anything bad? “Please Mom” He begs, using his puppy dog eyes as much as he can.
His mom looks at him for a long time, her face unreadable. Her lips are pressed together, and she keeps taping the floor with her foot.
“I want to meet him.”
“What?” Jared asks, not believing that his mom’s agreed.
“Your friend. I want to meet him.”
“I don’t… I don’t know if that’s possible…”
“Jared, either I meet your friend, or you’re not going. It’s up to you.”
“I’ll ask him.”
“Good,” She says before turning around forward the fridge “tonight.”
“Ok, mom, it’s- “
“Tonight.” She repeats again, leaving no room for discussion.
Jared holds back his sigh and nods, almost running to his room.
How is he supposed to present Jensen to his parents? Not only is he famous, but he’s also older than him, and, most of all, openly gay.
“Hey babe.” Jensen says, panting “Everything ok?”
“Yeah. Why are you breathing so hard?” He asks, putting his bluetooth in his ear.
“Oh, I… uh… I was busy.”
“Yeah,” Jensen laughs nervously, “you know, the, uh, thing you do, sometimes. When you’re alone…”
“No, I don’t-” Realization hits Jared and he closes his eyes in embarrassment. “Yeah, ok, I see.”
Jared has no idea which one of them is the most embarrassed right now. But the thought of Jensen, lying naked in his bed with his hand in his boxers sends waves of pleasure through him.
They’ve never done anything slightly sexual, with the exception of rubbing against each other with their clothes on. Jared wants to wait, and Jensen respects his decision.
“You… were you thinking about something in particular?” He asks, laying back.
“I don’t think you want to know Jay. Honestly, I only just started so it’s ok.” Jensen laughs again, and Jared can’t help but smile.
“Come on, tell me. I… I want to hear.” His cheeks are burning but he doesn’t care. Jensen can’t see him anyway.
“Are you sure?” Jensen asks seriously.
There’s a little pause, barely perceptible, and Jared is afraid he’s overstepped some line but then Jensen is talking again.
“I was thinking of you. You were here, in my bed, wearing that big hoodie you love so much. You know, the red one. Then you took it off, and you were just… shirtless, while looking at me with smirk and caressing yourself. You started by putting your fingers in your mouth, getting them just slightly wet, and then your started… Fuck, your started rubbing them against your nipples. Just… just rubbing, at first, then you pinched them until they were all red and I… I moved, so I could take one in my mouth while you kept moving lower… Do you want me to stop?”
“No!” Jared says quickly, eyes closed. His dick is painfully hard in his jeans, and he’s getting uncomfortable, but he doesn’t want to stop. “I’m… keep going, please.”
“You moved your hands down and slid your underwear off and you… you were freaking glorious, all spread out for me. I kept kissing your nipples because it was making you moan like crazy, and I could see that you were moving your hands to your ass...”
“Fuck” Jared gasps out, kicking his jeans off.
“Yeah” Jensen moans, and Jared can hear him jerking off. “You… you looked at me, with your big blue eyes and you just… you just asked.”
“What did I say?”
“You said, ‘Please Jensen.’”
“Please Jensen” Jared repeats, finally taking his dick in his hand.
“Fuck Jared,” Jensen sighs, jerking faster. “I’m moving my hand from your belly to your ass, you’re hard, you’re so, so hard and leaking for me. I run my fingers between your ass cheeks and I just… I start pressing one into your hole.”
“Oh god!” Jared says, his fingers moving toward his ass. He knows he can’t do it without lube, so he just rubs his fingers against his asshole, while his other hand is jerking him.
“You’re so tight, so freaking tight. No one’s ever been here before, right?”
“I’ll be the first?”
“First and only.” Jared repeats, too far gone to care about what he’s saying.
“Shit,” Jensen says, “tell me how it feels.”
“Feels good, Jen, so good. You’re fingering me, and you’re kissing me too. Don’t stop, please don’t stop.”
“Fuck!” Jensen screams, coming all over his hand and stomach.
Jared follows him immediately, his whole body shaking with the force of his orgasm.
They don’t talk for a long, long moment, both of them trying to catch their breath. Jared has no idea why he ever wanted to wait. If it’s this good when they’re not even together, how will it be with Jensen right in front of him?
“That was awesome.” Jensen says
“Yeah, I agree.” Jared laughs, finishing cleaning himself up.
“So...why were you calling me in the first place?”
“Oh, I… I talked to my mom, about the holidays, and she said that she wanted to meet you first.”
“Yeah, no problem. When?”
“There’s actually a lot of problems. Starting by the fact that she doesn’t know I’m gay” Jared says, pulling the covers over him.
“I should tell her first.” He says, his throat tightening.
“When does she want me to come?”
“Then you know what you have to do.”
Hey guys, I hope you like this chapter !
To make sure that his parents weren’t going to have a heart attack upon meeting Jensen, Jared knows he should have told them about him first.
He knows it, and yet, as the day goes by, it gets harder and harder to say anything.
How does he start? What exactly should he tell them? There’s too much stuff, too many secrets, and too many things that he doesn’t know himself that prevent him from saying anything.
He spends the day in his room, hoping that maybe, if he lays still for a while, everybody will forget about him, and nothing will happen.
Of course, dreams and reality are two distinct and different things, and when he hears the doorbell, his stomach twists painfully. He can’t do it. He can’t. He wants to sink down in the corner of the room and disappear forever.
“Jared!” His mom yells from downstairs “Your friend is here.”
Slowly, he hauls himself out of bed and makes his way downstairs. He’s thankful that his brothers aren’t here tonight, he can’t even imagine how the night would go otherwise.
His sister is here, and it’s actually more of a support than anything else. He didn’t tell Mandy that his boyfriend is Jensen, but he knows that she won’t say anything, and that she will support him no matter what. They’ve grown closer those past few weeks, and he trusts her completely now.
“Hey beautiful.” Jensen says as Jared opens the door, a big smile on his face. Couldn’t he pretend to be at least a little worried about this whole thing? “I got flowers for your mom and whiskey for your dad. Is that too stereotypical?”
“No, it’s good.” Jared tries to smile back, but it comes out more as a grimace than anything else. “Just, can you not call me by any name other than mine? Please?”
“Oh my god babe, do you know how hard that’s going to be?” Jensen complains, “Fine, no nicknames. But as soon as we’re together, you won’t even be able to remember your name.”
Jared is almost sure that Jensen meant it in an innocent way, but his mind goes straight to the gutter with a flashback to their earlier phone call. He can feel his cheeks turning red, and he quickly steps back so Jensen can step into the house.
“Mom, Dad, this is-”
“Jensen Ackles.” Megan breaths out, her eyes widening with surprise “Oh my god, Jensen Ackles!”
“It’s me,” Jensen laughs before moving to shake her hand “Nice to meet you, Megan.”
“He knows my name.” She whispers, looking at Jared.
Jared’s mom frowns as she looks at Jared, and he does his best to ignore her. He should have told her. God, why didn’t he tell her earlier?
“Mr. Ackles, I’m really glad to meet you” She says, “I’m Jared’s mom.”
“Please, call me Jensen. And the pleasure is mine, Mrs. Padalecki. I can see where Jared got his beautiful eyes from.”
Jared clenches his jaw, his face burning with embarrassment. He expects his mom to frown or look shocked, but she simply laughs and takes the flowers Jensen brought her after thanking him.
“Asshole.” Jared whispers when he’s alongside Jensen “Don’t compliment me either.”
“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” Jensen pouts a little, trying to soften him up and Jared can’t help but smile at his boyfriend’s stupidity.
They take their places around the table. Jared is sitting next to Jensen but Megan is directly across from him with her eyes glued to him as if he were holding the moon. His mother looks impressed too and he knows that she recognizes him but she’s polite enough not to make a big deal out of it. For now, anyway.
Jared’s dad is still working, so they start eating without him, and to Jared’s surprise, everything goes much better than he’d expected. Jensen doesn’t make any more comments about his appearance or anything that could embarrass him, his mom doesn’t ask intrusive questions, and Megan- well, Megan still has her eyes glued to Jensen, but at least she’s not saying anything.
They talk about the first time they met, and Jared’s mom can’t stop shaking her head the whole time, before yelling at Jared that that’s not how she raised him. Everybody laughs after that, including Jared, and he feels himself relaxing a little, even allowing his hand to move from his knee to Jensen’s.
Jensen smirks before slipping his hand under the table and interlacing their fingers.
The light mood dies as soon as they hear Paul’s car in the driveway, and Jared tenses all over again. Meeting his sister and mother was something, meeting his dad is something else.
“Sharon, why is there a Ferrari in front of our house?” He yells as he walks in the house “I thought the drugs dealers next door where gone?”
“Drugs dealers?” Jensen whispers
“Yeah, it’s- Our neighbors used to be drugs dealers, but they- I’ll tell you about that later.”
Jensen doesn’t push things further, and when Paul enters the room, he’s already standing up.
“Paul, this is Jensen Ackles, Jared’s friend.”
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Padalecki.”
Even though Jensen is giving him his most charming smile, Jared’s dad still looks him up and down with an expression of disgust on his face. He doesn’t even shake Jensen’s hand, choosing to sit down instead.
“You’re an actor, aren’t you?”
“Yes sir” Jensen answers, not letting himself being put down.
“Lazyass” Paul mumbles, biting on the bread.
“I’m sorry?” Jensen asks, holding Jared’s hand tighter.
“Not your fault. I just thought that maybe, for once, Jared would do something good. Like have a friend who had a real job or something.”
“Being an actor isn’t a real job?”
Jared feels a knot forming in his stomach as the tension grows, and he pleads with his mom to help him with his eyes.
“Paul, why don’t you-”
“Actors ain’t doing shit. I work 80 hours a week, and that’s not even when I have a heavy week.”
He wishes he could communicate with Jensen by thought; that way, he could tell him to just drop it, to forget what his dad just said and to focus on the dinner instead. Through he can’t do that, the stress still makes his hands sweaty, and when Jensen turns toward him, he winks, giving him a weak smile.
“Well, you’re right. Your job is really impressive, and you should be proud of it.”
“Damn right I am.” Paul agrees, “Ain’t a job for the faggots, like yours.”
“Dad, that is so homophobic!” Megan says, anger already raising in her voice “Can’t you speak like, one sentence without sounding like an ass?”
“You better watch your tongue!”
“Whatever” She mumbles, crossing her arms against her chest.
“So, Jensen, Jared tells me that you want to take him on a trip?” Sharon says, trying to calm the tension.
“Yes, I’m going to Paris and since Jared really loves the city, I thought we could go together. If you agree, of course.”
“Well… Jared is only seventeen, he’s so young and Paris… Paris is far away”
Jared lets his shoulder drop and he has to force himself not to sigh. He really thought his mom was going to say yes once she saw Jensen.
“Let him go,” Paul says “Who cares if he’s here or in Paris? At least he won’t spend his days in his room.”
Deep down, Jared knows he should be happy that his father took his side, but he knows that the only reason it happened is that he wants him gone. He’s almost sure that if he could, his dad would make him move out immediately.
“Paul, are you sure?”
“Damn, Sharon. It’s not like they’re fucking together or anything.”
Jensen colors and at the same time Jared can feel his face turning red again too, but his dad doesn’t even look at them.
Sometimes, people only see what they want to see, and it’s even more true in this case. He was pretty sure that it was obvious Jensen was his boyfriend, given how close they’re sitting and the fact that they spend almost every single day together, and yet, his parents don’t seem to notice anything.
His sister caught them holding hands as soon as they did it, and he has no idea how his mom didn’t.
The rest of the dinner passes without any more problems, Jensen having taken the hint and not rising to any of Jared’s dad’s provocations. Paul was just testing him, and Jared remembers immediately why he never invited his friends over here. Well, when he had friends, anyway.
“It was delicious, Sharon. Thank you for the invitation.” Jensen says as he puts his coat on “Mr. Padalecki, it was a pleasure meeting you. And Megan,” he turns toward her “I hope we’ll see each other again.”
She giggles like crazy, and Jared can’t help laughing too. He walks Jensen to his car, making sure that no one can see them before kissing him.
“You were perfect,” he whispers against his lips “So perfect.”
“Thanks. Your dad is…”
“Yeah, I know.” Jared sighs, dropping his head to Jensen’s shoulder. Jensen is so warm and so comforting, he could spend all his days and nights here, just leaning against his boyfriend’s body while Jensen holds him.
“They have no idea we’re together, do they?”
“No,” He laughs “Honestly? It saved us a lot of trouble.”
“I bet it did.” Jensen kisses him again “And you know what? We’re going to Paris together.”
“We are,” Jared smiles, biting his lip “I can’t believe it!”
“Well you should, baby boy, because in less than a week, we’ll be flying the skies.”
Uh, I know, it's been years since I update this story.
My beta on this story dumped me without even sending me a message, which really put me down, then I felt like no one was reading this story, so I quickly gave up on it.
But I had a lot of comments and messages asking me about this story, so here I am ! I'm gonna try to post more often, and in the meantime, feel free to tell me if you like this story, and the things you would like to see in it ;)
Also, please don't make comments about the mistakes in it. I'm trying my best, but I won't take a beta. I had too much bad experiences, and I just want to write this story in peace.
Thanks to the sweet readerwriterme who now beta this fic !
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
“Jay,” Jensen says, dropping his hand on Jared’s knee, “relax.”
“We’re flying, Jensen.”
“The plane is flying, yeah.” Jensen laughs.
“We’re - ” Jared starts saying out loud before whispering so only Jensen can hear him, “we’re in the air, Jensen. In the air! I’ve never- we could- we could die. Did you know that? We could crash, and they may not ever find our bodies.”
“Well, at least I would have spent my last minutes with you.”
“That’s not funny!” Jared says harshly. “We could die. There’s nothing funny about it.”
“I shouldn’t have given you those pills, should I?” Jensen laughs, watching the amazement on his boyfriend’s face as he looks through the window.
“It’s so beautiful.” Jared whispers, “The clouds, the- the whole world, it’s beautiful, Jensen.” He turns around, “You’re beautiful.”
Jensen can feel a deep blush spreading through his cheeks, and he tries to brush it off with a laugh. Jared had been pretty anxious to fly, and given his normally high stress level, he couldn’t imagine putting Jared through several extra hours of stress.
He’d thought the pills would be a good solution, and the doc had promised them that they should only have a mild effect. Right now though, Jared looks more high than relaxed, and a part of Jensen wishes he hadn’t given him the medication. The other part of him finds it pretty funny to watch.
“You’re beautiful, too.” Jensen says, dragging Jared to his chest “And really cute, if I may add.”
Jared sighs in happiness, leaning himself more comfortably against Jensen until he’s almost entirely on his lap. Good thing they’d taken his private plane.
“I think I love flying.” Jared says “It’s… it’s good. So good. I feel light, so light. It’s like… nothing else matters anymore. Like I’m special, and you’re special, and it… it makes me so happy.” He declares while waving his hand in front of Jensen’s face “Look, I don’t weigh anything, Jen.”
“Yeah, that’s not how you usually feel when you’re flying.” Jensen laughs, “You’re really high, love.”
“That’s it!” Jared yells, pushing himself away from Jensen.
“Love! I’m high with love, Jensen!”
“You are?” Jensen asks more seriously this time.
“Yes! I mean… I used to feel so… so… heavy. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t… I couldn’t breathe, you know? It felt like I wasn’t living. Well, I wasn’t. I… it’s like I’m always flying, when I’m with you.” He let out a breath “You make me feel like I’m flying. You make me feel special.”
“Believe me sweetheart, you are special.” Jensen responds, cupping Jared’s face in his hands “You’re a hell out of a lot more special than you know.”
“Do I make you feel like that, too? Like you’re flying?”
Jensen smiles softly before dropping a kiss on Jared’s lips, to which Jared answers happily. He opens his mouth, letting him in, and Jensen pushes his tongue inside, ravishing Jared’s precious mouth the best he can.
“I felt like I was drowning, before you.” he says as he pulls back. “The… celebrity is harder than people think, you know? I felt like my life was meaningless, like I wasn’t doing anything real. After playing characters for so long, I forgot who I really was and I was just playing a part all the time. You make me feel like I’m grounded, and for me, that’s way more intense than flying.” He whispers, pushing Jared’s hair behind his ear “You make me feel better than flying.”
“That’s a good thing,” Jared says, “Because if you’re on the ground, and I’m flying, and the plane crashes, then you’ll be there to catch me, right?”
“You lost me there sunshine,” Jensen laughs “but I’ll catch you if you fall, I promise.”
Jared smiles brightly before kissing him again, his hands running down Jensen’s arms. Right now is probably not the right time to ask any more questions, so Jensen doesn’t; instead, he just enjoys letting Jared touch him.
While he didn’t follow everything his boyfriend had said, he thought about every word that had come out of his mouth. Before Jared, he was always pretending, always faking amusement and happiness because that’s what everybody was expecting from him. He had everything, money, fame, family, friends, and maybe that’s what made it worse: the fact that even with everything most people dream of, he still felt empty.
He tried to talk about it, so many times. But how can you explain something that you don’t understand yourself? How can you explain that you feel like an impostor; that you hate yourself and that there are times where you wish everything would stop?
So he did what he was told to do. He shut up and smiled for the camera. He dated, got laid, and moved on again and again. But it only made things worse, even more so when pictures of him started turning up all over the internet, because then, on top of his self-hatred, he had to deal with other people’s hatred too.
But Jared- Jared is special. He isn’t fake. He’s anxious, and he doesn’t hide it. He doesn’t pretend like he is fine when he isn’t. He doesn’t pretend he likes something when he doesn’t. He’s simple and he doesn’t ask for more than what’s given to him. He smiles, and he laughs, and he loves without fakeness and without expecting anything in return.
Jared is like an angel who was sent to earth to save him, to make him see how good life can be, how much love he really can give.
“I love you, Jared,” he whispers “so damn much.”
“You’ve never said that before.” Jared frowns.
“Well, I’m saying it now.”
“I’m not entirely sure I’m gonna remember this later. Could you say it again? Once we’re at the hotel?”
“Of course I can,” Jensen says, “but only if you say it back.”
“I love you.” Jared says firmly, “Like… like fish love water.”
“I don’t know if fish love water.”
“Of course they do, Jen! That’s what’s keeping them alive!”
“Yeah, but does that make them happy?”
Jared stops for a moment to think about it, his nose scrunching up as he tries to concentrate.
“Je t'aime comme les écureuils aiment les noisettes.” Jared says in a good approximation of French.
“It means ‘I love you like squirrels love nuts’. I read that in a French book once.”
“That’s actually really cute.”
“And really true.”
“Well, I love you like squirrels love nuts, too” Jensen says, kissing the tip of Jared’s nose. “But I think you should sleep a little, love.”
“Yeah, I’m tired.” Jared yawns “Flying is exhausting. But your arms are big, so that’s alright.”
“I don’t see the connection there, but sure babe.” Jensen laughs, dragging Jared against him.
“You need strong arms to catch me.” He says, already closing his eyes “Night, Jen.”
Jensen lowers himself back against the seat again, and for the first time in years, he appreciates the beauty of the view outside the plane’s windows. He’d forgotten how beautiful life could be.
I kind of forgot about this fic so thanks to the reader who sent me a comment !
I hope you all loved this high Jared ;)
Jared’s eyes are still closed when he feels a soft, wet pressure against his neck. He smiles, immediately recognizing Jensen’s lips. With a sigh, he reaches out and wraps his arms around Jensen, pulling the other man against him until he can bury his face in his neck and hook his leg around Jensen’s knee.
Jensen chuckles, sliding his fingers through Jared’s hair and dropping another kiss.
“How are you feeling sweetheart?”
“Good. Are we gonna be there soon?”
“We’re already here. Arrived a few minutes ago, actually.”
“Oh,” Jared says, pushing away from Jensen’s so he can take a better look around.
He doesn’t know how long he slept, but his mind is foggy from his nap and the stupid pills he took. God, he can’t remember most of what happened but he’s almost sure that he ended up bouncing on Jensen’s lap at some point, begging him to do things to him that he would never had said out loud if he hadn’t been drugged.
“I’m so sorry,” he says with a grimace, “for the flight, I mean. I must have been awful.”
“Nah, you were pretty great. Really funny. Really horny, too.”
“Oh my god, shut up!” Jared chokes, hiding his face in his hands.
“Why? You were so cute! Begging me to eat your ass and all!”
“I never said that!” Jared squeaks, mortified.
“Actually you did my love. One minute you were drifting off in my arms and the next, I had a lapful of excited, horny Jared. It made for the most interesting flight I’ve had in a long time,” he laughs, dropping a kiss on Jared’s forehead. “Come on, we need to get moving.”
Jensen gets up and extends his hands to help Jared stand. He’s still completely humiliated by his behavior but his legs feel weird, and since he still needs to recover from the actual flying part too, he let’s Jensen support him.
“It was a long flight, but you’ll get used to it.” Jensen reassures, but all Jared hears is that Jensen plans on taking him on more trips in the future and Jared’s not sure he manages to contain his excitement at that thought.
They gather their excessive number of bags before heading toward the exit. The sun hits Jared as he reaches the exit, forcing him close his eyes against the too bright light. As he blinks them back open, he sees people coming to offer help. Not wanting anyone to notice their intertwined hands, Jensen immediately lets go of Jared’s.
Jared wishes he could say he doesn’t care, that he understands why Jensen is doing it – and he does, he gets it, but he still feels his heart tightening a little with Jensen’s withdrawal. Sometimes he forgets that their relationship doesn’t exist outside of their private bubble and that they have to hide every time someone comes their way.
“You alright?” Jensen whispers as they make their way through the airport.
“Yeah, just… dizzy, you know?”
“Don’t worry, the hotel is only a few miles from here. You’re gonna head out first. Go ahead and get into the car and then I’ll wait a little before following you.”
“Why can’t we go together?”
“I don’t know if fans or paparazzi are waiting for me. They shouldn’t be, but you never know.”
“How are we gonna do anything?” Jared asks, “I mean, what’s the point of the trip if we can’t be together? We won’t be able to go out or do anything?”
“Of course we will,” Jensen reassures him, his fingers brushing Jared’s discreetly. “I know some places that should be safe, and the rest of the time I’ll just wear my ninja clothes.”
Jared smiles when Jensen’s winks even though he’s still a little worried about what will happen during their trip. He hates not having a plan. A few months ago, if someone had told him he would be holed up in a city halfway across the world from his home with no plan, he would probably have had a panic attack right then. Now, however, he’s learned to put his trust in Jensen and let him guide him without worrying.
Outside of the airport a man is waiting for him with a card with his name on it. Jared sees him and slowly makes his way over, and away from Jensen.
He sits alone in the car for about ten minutes before Jensen joins him, sliding in after waving to some girls.
“Fans?” Jared asks
“Yeah. Not a lot, so we should be fine.”
“Good,” Jared says, nestling himself in Jensen’s arms.
Jensen puts his arms around him and drags Jared’s closer until he can drop his head on his shoulder. The hand resting on his ass rubs gently with just enough pressure for Jared to feel it, while Jared’s own hands are hiding under Jensen’s t-shirt.
The city is passing by outside their windows. Hundreds of people are walking by, so caught up in their day-to-day that they don’t seem to look anywhere but at what’s right in front of him, and Jared wonders if they still can see the beauty of the city. Paris is stunning, even more amazing than what he’s seen in books and he can’t wait to walk these streets too.
“I want to see everything,” he says. “I want to see the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, and I want to take the undergrounds trains.”
“We’ll do all that,” Jensen laughs. “But you should know that it’s not as fun as it seems. Except the Louvre. That one is good.”
“I don’t care, I still want to do it.”
“Whatever you want, love.”
Jared smiles, lifting his head so Jensen can drop a kiss on his lips. He can’t believe that he’s really here, in the most beautiful city in the world with the most perfect guy he could have ever asked for.
“I want to eat snails, too.”
“Ugh, you lost me there” Jensen grimaces.
“Oh come on, we have to try it!”
“Try it if you want, but I’m not going to kiss you after that.”
Jared laughs, leaning back a little to get a better look at Jensen. He scoots closer and angles his face in until there’s only an inch between them.
“I don’t believe you.”
“You don’t?” Jensen asks playfully
“Nope. I think you would kiss me, no matter what I ate.”
Jensen’s eyes drop to his mouth and he licks his own lips hungrily before kissing Jared deeply.
Jared laughs into the kiss, his arms encircling Jensen’s neck as he responds happily.
“Yeah, I think you’re right,” Jensen says. “You’re too delicious for me to resist.”
“Is that your best line?” Jared asks, rolling his eyes.
“It works pretty well, doesn’t it?”
“I guess so,” Jared says, dropping back to his original position. “You taste pretty good, too.”
“Better than sails?”
Jensen laughs, his whole body shaking, and Jared holds on a little tighter just because he can.
Eventually, the car stops in front of a hotel. Jared isn’t quite sure what he was expecting, but the reality is even more dazzling.
“We’re staying here?” He asks, looking through the windows.
“Yep. You like it?”
“Jen, it’s awesome!”
“And you haven’t even see the room yet,” Jensen answers with a wink.
Jensen gets out of the car first, opening the door for Jared, and Jared can’t hide his surprise when he offers him his hand.
“Won’t say a thing. This is a special place. No one will say anything, I promise.”
Jared isn’t sure he completely believes Jensen, but he doesn’t want to ask right now. If Jensen says it’s safe, then that’s all that matters.
“Here we go, mon amour.” Jensen says, wrapping arm arm around Jared’s waist.
They walk through the hotel entry, arms around each other, and Jared is awed by all the light and brightness coming from everywhere. It’s as if he’s walking in another world, one he’s never visited before. Just when he thinks he might panic, he feels Jensen’s reassuring arms pulling him closer and he takes a deep breath. Jared lets his body relax and enjoys the beauty of the hotel.
Special thanks to my beta who did an amazing job with this chapter.
I hope you all love it !