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The Batman added you to Official Justice League Chat

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Canary: HO
Canary: LY
Canary: FUCK
Canary: guys
Canary: GUYS.

Wonder Woman: Ahem

Canary: …and girls

Wonder Woman: Better.

Canary: ~AN.Y.WAY~

Green Arrow: What is it? Something wrong??

Canary: if this is wrong i don’t wanna b right

Superman: ???

Green Arrow: @Canary ????

Canary: I JUST MET THE WOMAN IM
     GOING 2 SPEND THE REST OF MY
     LIFE WITH
Canary: OK SO WE HAVN’T TECHNICALLY
     MET YET BUT SHE’S HERE AND
     PERFECT I CAN TELL AND I
     WANTED 2 SHARE THIS MOMENT
     BCZ UR ALL V IMPORTANT 2 ME
Canary: SORRY WE CAN’T INVITE MOST
     OF U 2 THE WEDDING BCZ
     ~SECRET IDENTITIES~

Green Arrow: Oh, so ur fine then
Green Arrow: Any suggestions on what I
     should get the wife for our
     anniversary?

Canary: OMFG NO @Green Arrow I AM
     NOT FINE!
Canary: I REALIZED I HAVE 2 TALK 2 HER
     EVENTUALLY AND IM FREAKING OUT
     HOW DO U CASUALLY TELL SOME1
     THAT UD CONQUER EMPIRES IN HER
     NAME????

The Atom: Uh @Green Arrow isn’t your
      wife in this chat?

Vibe: @Black Canary rotfl

Cyborg: Wait, I thought…
Cyborg: I’m so confused

Vibe: lol newbie can’t tell the canaries apart

Canary changed name to White Canary

White Canary: NOW CAN WE PLZ FOCUS
White Canary: SHE’S MY HELEN OF TROY

Wonder Woman: @White Canary have you
     been approached by any strange men
     lately? I fear Ares may be responsible
     for your unusual behavior

Green Arrow: Unusual? Have you met White
     Canary?

Black Canary: Wait wait wait. Everyone back
     up a second. @White Canary what’s
     happening? @Green Arrow I already
     told you what I want

Green Arrow: What? When?

White Canary: I FOUND MY SOULMATE

Green Arrow: Babe I need a hint?!

Black Canary: I meant context WC

White Canary: OH RIGHT
White Canary: Sorry. 4got 2 turn off caps
White Canary: I’m in a class @ the gym
     and the kickboxing instructor is the
     most amazing humanoid i’ve ever seen.
     I want 2 make ninja babies with her

Black Canary: I thought you had a crush on
     ~you know who~?

White Canary: Well that’s obvs not gonna
     pan out so I’m being more realistic

Black Canary: you know what I’m just gonna
     PM you

The Atom: Wait, why are you in a kickboxing
     class? Aren’t you a pro or whatever?

White Canary: Bcz @The Atom it never
      hurts to revisit the basics. judgy much?

Vibe: ^ translation: homegirl walked into the
     wrong class but stuck around 4 the
     hot teacher 😂

White Canary removed Vibe from the group

White Canary: Fate led me here obvi

Green Arrow: @Black Canary ?
Green Arrow: Am I in trouble?

Zatanna: lol yep.

The Atom: @White Canary tell me she’s not
     wearing one of those “superheroes wear
     spandex” shirts? I hate those.

Zatanna: Hey, that’s my girl’s fiancée you
     might be dissing

Flash: While ur all here, what do u guys think
     of the whole asking ur SO’s parents 4
     their blessing thing?

Wonder Woman: I find that practice to be
     antiquated and misogynistic.

Flash: OK yeah but I’m just trying not to get
     killed by her dad…

Superman: I guess it depends on your
     relationship with him. And her.

White Canary: Um, xcuse me we’re talking
     about *my* future wife right now. Wait
     ur turn speedy gonzalez

Flash: U haven’t even spoken 2 her yet

White Canary: Exactly! smol window of
     opportunity. Ur weird family dynamics
     can wait

The Batman: As a reminder, this group is for
     urgent, official Justice League matters
     only.

Flash changed name to The Flash

White Canary: UH YEAH NO DUH BATMAN
     THE FUTURE MOTHER OF MY
     CHILDREN IS LESS THAN 20 FT AWAY
     AND I STILL DK WHAT 2 SAY 2 HER.
     IF I SCREW THIS UP IM GOING TO DIE
     AND THEN WHO WILL PROTECT STAR
     CITY?? THIS IS CLEARLY AN URGENT
     LEAGUE MATTER. SEND HELP

Green Arrow: I mean, there r 3 other league
     members based in star, so we’ll probs
     b fine

White Canary: gee robin hood, ur such a gr8
     friend thnx

Superman: Just be yourself, @White Canary

White Canary: R u crazy?! i can’t do that i’m
     a total dork wtf
White Canary: like fml my sox don’t match

Superman: If she doesn’t like you for who
     you are, she’s not worth your time.

Zatanna: Hctam reh skcos
Zatanna: Did that work?

White Canary: No still 1 white 1 red but thnx
     4 trying Z

Batgirl: Wow ok give me a sec 2 catch up

The Flash: Hey, ok so back 2 getting
     approval from the future in-laws…

Supergirl: On Krypton, it was customary for
     suitors to write a thesis paper on their
     worthiness. As a sign of intellect and
     dedication 📜

The Flash: um

Cyborg: Really?

Supergirl: No. That would be ridiculous. Just
     like this. He isn’t marrying her dad.

Zatanna: Lmfao. Preach, girl!

Superman: Food for thought: following
     tradition to please her dad won’t
     matter if it pisses her off enough to
     say no herself, Flash.

The Flash: Shoot I didn’t think of that

Lois Lane-Kent: @The Batman your child is
     definitely a sociopath

The Flash: !

Cyborg: !!
Cyborg: Who added Lois Lane to the group?!

Superman: Lois?!

Lois Lane-Kent: Oh, relax. I’m the JL’s
     greatest ally. Your texting habits are
     safe from the headlines.

The Batman: What did he do this time?

Lois Lane-Kent: He used his sai to make
     puppets out of the backyard squirrels
Lois Lane-Kent: Come get him. I am not a
     babysitter.

The Batman: I’ll send a car.

Lois Lane-Kent: Send bleach, too.

Cyborg: Still waiting on an explanation for
     how a reporter got into our chat

Superman: Lois.

Lois Lane-Kent: Fine.

Lois Lane-Kent left the group

Green Arrow: Guys I can’t find Black Canary
Green Arrow: I looked everywhere

Batgirl: Ok, I’m up to speed

Black Canary: *apparently “everywhere”
     doesn’t include the laundry room

Green Arrow: !
Green Arrow: We have a laundry room?

Zatanna: omfg DEAD

Batgirl added Nightwing to the group

Batgirl: @Nightwing your skillz are needed,
     Casanova

Zatanna: How did I not think of that?!?
     @Batgirl you’re a genius.

Nightwing: Hahaha yeah just saw your text.
     also wOw GA

Batgirl: @White Canary you still with us?

Captain Marvel: Guys the ice cream truck
     driver gave me a free rocket pop!

White Canary: whatyesbarelyistopped
     breathingtenminutesagowhenshe
     madeeyecontact

Black Canary: Please continue breathing

Zatanna: Deep breaths, honey

Green Arrow: @Black Canary can you tell
     me where the laundry room is??

Black Canary: Not the time 4 this, O

Nightwing: I got ur back, WC. U trying 2
     get laid or date her?

White Canary: I’m trying to find the nearest
     courthouse. decided 3 sec ago a
     ceremony will take 2 long 2 plan

Nightwing: lol what changed 3s ago?

Black Canary: EXCUSE ME YOU ARE NOT
     ALLOWED TO GET MARRIED WITHOUT
     WITHOUT ME PRESENT

White Canary: She bent over 2 pick up her
     water bottle. Damn.

Nightwing: 😂 That hot?

White Canary: Total smokeshow

Black Canary: OMG ew pls stop

The Batman: Why is this still going on?

Nightwing: Wait, do u know if she’s queer?

White Canary: What kind of cruel universe
     would make my soulmate a straight
     girl?

Green Arrow: Ok WC you still haven’t even
     spoken to her yet, so…

White Canary: Shut up GA

Batgirl: wtf GA? Let her live

Black Canary: Yeah, don’t be mean

Green Arrow: I’m just saying

Zatanna removed Green Arrow from the group

Aquaman: Is anyone near here📍? I could
     use assistance.

Superman: On my way.

Nightwing: @White Canary r u going 4
     subtle or forward? Sweet or seductive?

White Canary: All of the above?

Nightwing: I may b skilled but it’s def not
     possible 2 b subtle and forward @ the
     same time

White Canary: idgaf boy wonder just make
     her love me

Nightwing: …let’s start with subtle. U know
     her name?

White Canary: No I couldn’t hear the 1st few
     min of class over the sound of my ❤️
     growing 3x

Zatanna: Wow bb girl, you are a hot mess

Nightwing: No actually that’s perfect!!
Nightwing: Just say that!

White Canary: U want me 2 tell her i’m the
     grinch?!?

The Heir: If I may…
The Heir: I, too, am in need of advice.

Batgirl: What’s going on?

Nightwing: @White Canary no, ask 4 her
     name and say ur sorry if she said it
     earlier, but u were overwhelmed by her
     presence

The Heir: How do I get the young woman
     in the back of my class to put her phone
     away and pay attention?

Batgirl: Ask nicely?

White Canary: GUYS WHAT SHE WINKED
     AT ME WHAT DOES THST MEAN?

The Heir: Perhaps it means she would
     appreciate if you postponed your
     updates to the group until her class is
     over

White Canary: 😱

Nightwing: 😱

Black Canary: 🤯

Batgirl: oooohhhh

Zatanna: Holy shit, plot twist!

Black Canary added Green Arrow to the group

Green Arrow: SUCCESS!
Green Arrow: (I found the laundry room!)
Green Arrow: What’d I miss?

Nightwing: …

The Batman: I tried to stop you, White
     Canary.

Green Arrow: WTF WC’s fiancée is the Heir?
Green Arrow: I did not c that coming

The Flash: Ok they’re not actually engaged
     jesus

Green Arrow removed The Flash from the group

Green Arrow: I learned my lesson

Black Canary: Good boy

Green Arrow: 😋

Black Canary: 😉

Zatanna: EW TAKE THAT OUT OF THE
     GROUP CHAT GROSS

Batgirl: I need an update on WC and Heir

Batgirl: Nvrmd she texted me an audio clip
      of I Swear by all 4 one
Batgirl: Pretty sure they gucci

Zatanna: YAS LOVE WINS

Nightwing: Am I allowed to take credit here?
Nightwing: Eh, whatevs

White Canary: Yep yep yep thnx guys
White Canary: Ttyl got a date with destiny
White Canary: As you were

Nightwing: 👍

Nightwing left the group

The Batman added The Flash and Vibe to the group

Vibe: Ok ouch who removed me????

Black Canary removed Vibe from the group

The Batman: …acceptable.

Green Lantern: Uh guys I forgot the access
     code to the watchtower. Can someone
     let me in?
Green Lantern: Anyone?
Green Lantern: Come on guys I know you
     were all just checking the chat wth
Green Lantern: Ew nevermind I think WC and
     the Heir are having their “date” here

The Heir: OMG GTFO HAL!!
The Heir: oops this isn’t my phone

The Batman: sigh.