Skye was pissed. It was the third time this week that she'd gone to grab some chocolate from Jemma’s stash in the lab only to find it'd been cleaned out.
She knew it wasn't Jemma because, one, that was a hell of a lot of chocolate for her to go through that fast by herself, and two, there was a box of assorted truffles in there with cherry cordials and Jemma hated those with a passion. She must have gone for about ten minutes one day about the consistency and the mess factor and how it drowned out the taste of the chocolate.
Skye thought she was nuts, but hey, more for her. Except, of course, when someone else beat her to it.
It wasn't Fitz. The guy had a sweet tooth that could rival Willy Wonka, but it was for candies, not chocolate. And the rest of the team didn’t know about it, which meant it had to be one of the lab techs.
Normally it creeped her out that there were cameras all over the base, but right now she was okay with it because it meant she could go through the footage to find the culprit. And when she did, oh boy, she was going to tape a scarlet letter for thievery on their lab coat because the only person allowed to steal Jemma’s chocolate was herself, dammit.
She started with the day Bobbi got back, because she clearly remembered going to the lab that afternoon and coming away empty handed.
Unfortunately she must have queued up 3am instead of 3pm, because she was immediately greeted with semi-loud club music instead of the normal quiet daytime chatter of the lab. Jemma had gotten stuck on that music from her recent mission, and she'd listened to it a lot those first few weeks back when her schedule was still all shot to hell.
Incidentally, Skye had loved it - walking down the halls at the crack of dawn to go train with May, then cruising past the lab and seeing Simmons in her cute sweaters and ties listening to thrumming bass beats and electro synth rhythms.
Man, oh man, what Skye wouldn't have paid to see Jemma in action for that assignment - seeing Simmons, undercover at a BDSM club.
Bobbi had been with her, sure, but still that must have been priceless. Skye was holding out hope she could convince Jemma to wear something from that mission to the Halloween party, but the forecast wasn't looking good on that.
Speaking of Bobbi, she was currently on screen right now, talking to Jemma in the lab. She couldn't hear what they were saying over the music, and honestly Skye didn't care because this was not going to get her any closer to finding her thief.
Taking a sip of her barely drinkable coffee - come on people, it's not that hard to make - she was about to punch in the correct time footage when her hand froze over the keyboard because OH MY GOD Jemma was kissing Bobbi.
Jemma was kissing Bobbi and Bobbi was sure as hell kissing her back. And then Jemma lifted Bobbi’s top off and holy shit…
But then Bobbi pulled back and they started talking and Skye should definitely, positively stop watching because, you know, privacy and all. But she really wanted to know how this was going to shake out, if they were going to stop or-
Because Bobbi was pushing Jemma backwards onto the table and unzipping her pants and-
And Skye would have to guess at the rest of the details, because she liked Bobbi but Bobbi also scared the shit out of her and she didn't think it would go over too well if she found out Skye watched her and Jemma having sex. Even though it was a public space…and they both knew there were cameras in the lab…
Skye grinned. Simmons really brought this onto herself.
She found her in the lounge, sipping at her tea, completely absorbed in whatever it was that she was reading.
“Hey, Simmons,” Skye said, smiling wildly.
“Hello, Skye,” Jemma said warmly, looking up from her tablet. “You seem to be in a good mood.”
“Not as good as the one you've been in lately,” she replied jovially, enjoying watching Simmons try to puzzle that statement out.
“But then again,” Skye continued, “I'm not the one getting laid by a certain Agent Morse, now am I?”
The look on Simmons’ face following that bombshell was priceless. Skye honestly didn't think a person’s eyes could go that wide.
She barrelled on, mostly in an effort not to laugh.
“Remember how I said I was going to look at the lab’s video feeds to see which of the techs was thieving our chocolate stash? And yes, I know technically it’s your chocolate, what with you buying it and all, but that's not the point,” she dismissed cheerfully.
“So,” she continued, “I might have accidentally jumped to the 3am instead of pm footage from a couple nights ago,” and wow, Jemma’s blush just went two shades deeper, “and all I can say is, dude! Like, why the hell didn't you tell me you and Bobbi were doing it? I almost spewed my coffee across my laptop when I saw you guys kissing. And then when she popped you up onto the table-”
“How much of it did you watch?!” Jemma exclaimed, finally having found her voice.
Skye waggled her eyebrows, smirking unabashedly. “Enough to know you’ll be changing your mind about what you’re wearing to my Halloween party.”
It wasn't blackmail. Not really. She admitted to Jemma that she’d already wiped the footage. She even promised to erase any future shenanigans as well. It was more of a thank you in response to those gestures. A coerced thank you, maybe, but hey, it's the results that matter.
And boy was this result going to be a good one. She'd already spotted Bobbi walking down the hall in her full regalia and, wow, she couldn't wait to see Simmons.
“She's gonna kill ya, you know?”
“What?” Skye asked, only half-turning towards Fitz because she didn't want to risk missing Simmons’ entrance.
“Jemma. She's gonna murder ya when she finds out that ya picked out all our costumes for us. And she's deadly when it comes ta payback.”
Then Fitz started rambling on about an incident at the Academy, some practical joke that Simmons didn't take kindly to and returned four times over. She wasn't even pretending to listen, because Bobbi and Jemma just walked into the room and…whoa.
Her mouth shouldn't have dropped open quite so much considering she'd already seen that dress, but that was when she’d been helping Jemma unpack and seeing Jemma wearing it was a different story altogether.
Skye’s eyes darted over to Bobbi, then back to Jemma, as she approached them.
“Holy friggin’ crap, you two.”
Jemma tucked her hair behind her ear, looking away as Skye continued her inspection.
“I can't believe this is what you guys wore. I didn't even know you had this much skin to show, Simmons.”
Bobbi smirked. “And this was the tamest outfit. You should see some of the others. There's this sheer one that-”
“I'm going to go get a drink,” Jemma brightly interrupted, swiftly abandoning their conversation.
Skye watched as she moved away, then broke into a smile. She knew Jemma must be feeling a bit nervous, but all that time undercover was paying off because she walked around without any of the Simmons awkwardness she'd expected.
Well, none more than usual, anyways.
“She's going to figure it out, you know.”
Skye turned back to face Bobbi, trying hard not to be intimidated because with those clothes on she was radiating authority.
“The costumes,” Bobbi elaborated upon seeing Skye's blank stare. “Not super subtle.”
“I don't know,” Skye countered. “Simmons can be pretty oblivious at times.”
Bobbi rolled her eyes. “Not that oblivious. I mean I'll give you she might not notice the lasso on Fitz’s cowboy outfit, but Mack and Coulson’s handcuffs are hard to miss. Let alone Hunter’s whip or the riding crop May is wielding.”
Skye grinned proudly. She couldn't help it.
Getting Mack to dress up as a police officer wasn't hard, same with Coulson in his prisoner outfit. They were actually grateful they didn't have to deal with costume shopping. And Hunter was practically bouncing on his feet when she asked him to be Indiana Jones. It was May who was the wild card. Skye knew asking her to come as an equestrian rider would more than likely tip her hand, but May had a sense of humor that liked to pop up at times and lucky for Skye this was one of them.
“And then there’s you,” Bobbi added, looking Skye up and down.
Okay, so she had her there because a black latex Catwoman costume might have been a bit over the top.
“You might as well have put up a sign that said Skye's BDSM Theme Party.”
“Thought about it, but I'm pretty sure Coulson would have nixed that one,” Skye deadpanned. “And while we're speaking of the devil, I heard you and Jem officially told him you guys are a thing. How'd that go?”
“Considering he already unofficially knew about us, it wasn't that big a deal,” Bobbi said, shrugging. “Although he did needle us about waiting so long to tell him. And then he starting going over the rules on ’appropriate workplace behavior between agents engaging in sexual relations’ and I almost burst out laughing. Poor Jemma couldn't make eye contact with him and blushed the whole time. And Coulson looked so uncomfortable it was actually kind of sweet.”
Skye snorted. “Yeah, I’m betting he’s used to pretending Simmons and sex were two separate entities that never crossed paths. But that little land of make believe can't have been holding up well lately, because you two are not exactly quiet. Like, at all.”
“Mm. True,” Bobbi replied, without even a hint of contriteness.
“Seriously though,” Skye added a moment later, “I'm super happy for you guys.”
And she really, really was. Jemma was normally pretty chipper, but there was an extra bounce in her step as of late. And Bobbi, well, she was harder to read, but if Skye had to put a finger on it she'd say she seemed a lot more content.
Bobbi smiled. “Thank you, Skye.”
Then she watched as Bobbi’s eyes sought out Jemma across the room, and Skye got a little teary when she heard Bobbi whisper softly, “I'm really happy for us, too.”
Skye had honestly thought Jemma didn't notice, despite Bobbi and Fitz’ warnings. But she had. She really, really had.
It was kind of diabolical really. Because the first two were fine. But when she bit into that third cherry cordial, Skye gagged and then desperately looked around for a napkin.
It tasted like eggs. Eggs mixed with chocolate and cherries.
She grabbed the first thing she could find to try and wash away that revolting flavor, and unfortunately that turned out to be seltzer water. Normally she would have looked for something else, because really, who voluntarily drinks that stuff, but right now anything was better than the current taste in her mouth.
Her hope was that maybe it was just a bad piece. Of course, this was based on no logic whatsoever because she'd never, ever, had chocolate taste like that before, but it was better than contemplating the alternative.
It took her over a week to gather the courage to dive back in.
Luckily, it was smooth sailing, and her next foray was also equally uneventful. Thus, her guard was down and out for the count when she strolled into the lounge, lazily popping a piece into her mouth from her most recent raid.
Half a second later she was bolting for the nearest garbage can, nearly plowing into Bobbi along the way.
“Problem?” Bobbi asked sweetly as she watched Skye wipe the back of her hand across her mouth, after having spit out as much of that mouthful of horrendousness as possible.
“Your girlfriend is trying to poison me,” Skye replied archly before swishing with some orange juice from the fridge.
“Not so much trying. Most definitely succeeding,” Bobbi retorted with an amused smirk. “What flavor was it this time?”
“Ooh. What'd you think?” Bobbi asked, far too excitedly. “That one was my idea.”
Skye tore off a hunk of bread and started chewing on that, because wow that taste lingered. “Not as bad as the egg one,” she said. “But still pretty atrocious.”
A second later Bobbi’s question sank in.
“Wait,” Skye asked incredulously. “Is the whole team in on this?”
Bobbi’s smile grew, eyes alight with laughter. “Wait until you hit the flavor May suggested.”
A tiny wave of dread swept over Skye at that statement, and that's when the evil genius of it all truly sank in. Jemma was making her play Russian roulette with her favorite chocolate, and the only way to win was not to friggin’ play.
Dammit all to hell.
It took a prolonged apology, an agreement to clean the lab for two weeks straight, and sitting through a documentary about poisoning throughout the ages - which was actually pretty good - before Jemma finally relented.
In return, Simmons slid over an entire box of untarnished chocolate perfection.
“Oh, god,” Skye groaned as she bit into a piece, half her enjoyment from the taste, half from no longer having to worry about whatever nasty surprise was in store for her next.
“There is one more thing I forgot to mention…” Jemma tacked on, sounding far too innocent for her own good, “Bobbi and I are going out tomorrow night, and we think you should come along.”
“Really?” Skye asked cautiously, watching as Jemma took a box out from under her desk. “What are you guys planning on doing?”
“Well, Bobbi wanted to go dancing, and she found this one club that looked quite appealing. However, it does have a rather specific dress code.”
Skye swallowed, getting a sneaking suspicion of where this was heading…
“And since it’s such short notice,” Jemma continued, sliding the box across the table towards Skye, “we went ahead and picked something up for you to wear.”
Okay, Simmons seriously knew how to drop the other shoe.
“This isn't optional is it?” Skye finally asked, already knowing the answer.
“No,” Jemma replied, with a wicked glint in her eye. “It really isn't.”
Skye opened the box, and sure enough she found herself staring at a piece of apparel similar to what she saw Jemma and Bobbi wearing at the party.
“Meet me in my room around nine tomorrow night,” Jemma said, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Bobbi and I will probably need to help you get into it. I have a feeling all those straps will be a bit tricky.”
Skye sighed. She knew Jemma was thorough in her work, but she had no idea that extended to her revenge as well. Sweeping the box up under her arm, she headed towards the door, head bowed in defeat.
“Oh, and Skye?” Jemma called after her.
She turned around to find Jemma’s hand outstretched towards her, a wide smile on her face.
“Don't forget your chocolate.”