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Don't Haze Me

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I've lost my mind, come to my senses

Come to my senses

Kim’s knee is bouncing almost uncontrollably. She’s sitting in a waiting room, trying to keep her head down. She’d rather no one recognised her but the odds of that right now are slim. Mostly because the TV is playing the news, and the news is currently that she participated in a high profile fight and chase around the subway of New York last night. She’s trying not to watch. In fact, she’s staring quite intently at the floor. The TV says “Kim Possible, the 21-year-old hero reportedly had her hand nailed to a table” and Kim hears most of the heads in the room whip towards her. She tucks her left hand below her other arm, tries to forget how much pain she’s in right now. Her hand is fine, will be fine - hurts like a bitch but no lasting damage, thank god.

“Kimberly?” Kim looks up at the blonde haired woman who just walked in. “This way, please.” Kim gets to her feet and hurries out of the waiting room, follows the woman through a hallway, around a corner and into an office.

“Take a seat anywhere you’d like, Kim.”

“Thanks,” Kim sits in the armchair facing the door. It’s softer than she’s expecting and she has to readjust her position a few times before she’s comfortable.

“Do you know how this works?”

“No I’m,” Kim takes a breath, “I’m only here cause my parents insisted.”

“Do you think they’re worried about you?”

“I mean, I guess?” Kim shrugs. “I don’t know.”

“Is there anything in your life happening that you think might cause you stress?”

Kim’s hand throbs in her lap and she doesn’t miss the passing look the psychologist gives it. The conversation continues in a similar fashion, the woman asks a question and Kim gives a noncommittal answer. After about twenty minutes the therapist sighs and lowers her clipboard.

“Okay, Kim, what do you want to get out of this session?”

“I,” she pauses. She wants to say I’m not sure but there has been something bothering her lately. “So I’ve been doing this for a while, being a freelance mercenary, that is.”


“And I’ve always been pretty good at it. But… lately, I dunno, it’s been…” Kim frowns. “Harder.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve never really, um. I’ve never really been that worried about my safety on missions, I guess. Recently, though,” Kim sighs. She wiggles the fingers of her left hand gingerly, wincing as she does. “The ante has been upped, and I think I’m falling short.”

Escaped the haze that clouded my vision

Clouded my vision

There’s a new villain on the loose. The guy is a ridiculously good fighter, and his goal is to personally take down Kim. She feels like everywhere she turns, there he is. She can take him, but he certainly demands a certain amount of her attention when they fight. She can take him.

She can’t take him and Shego at the same time.

To her surprise - but not to her significant surprise - Shego isn’t impressed by the fellow.

“Excuse me, can someone remind me who this twerp is?”

“I’m the Falcon Sentinel! I have vowed to best Kim Possible in battle and-” he doesn’t get a chance to say anything else because Shego hits him with a blast of plasma and he’s sent flying.

Thank you.

“Don’t be too relieved, Kimmie.” Shego advances on her, hands glowing. “We both know you’re mine.” Kim’s stomach flips over in her guts.

They spar and Kim relishes it. Fighting Shego is what it’s always been, a rush, a thrill. Perfectly matched fighters ducking and weaving in time with one another. A roll, a flip, a grapple, an escape. There’s no end to their movement and the sweat on Kim’s brow is satisfying. That is, until Kim has to throw her left hand out to balance and it’s been a few weeks but the damn thing is not healed yet.

“God - fuck!” She cradles her left hand on her chest and throws her right out at Shego, signalling stop. Shego does.

“Hey, are you alright?” Shego takes a step closer, concern written across her face.

“Have someone nail your hand to a table and then get back to me.” Kim snarls. “ Shit, that hurts. Fuck.”

“I didn’t see you as one to curse, princess.”

“Yeah, well,” Kim hisses, “I’m in a lot of pain here.”


“Sounds like you sugar daddy is calling.” Kim manages a smirk with her comment, and Shego actually cracks a grin at the comment.

“He wishes,” Shego says. “Just a minute!” She yells, not taking her eyes from the redhead in front of her. “Say, you foil his plan yet or what?”

“Oh,” Kim smiles, “I did that ten minutes ago. Then ‘twerp’ showed up and I got held back.”

“Well then, I guess I’ll see you next round.” Shego makes a show of firing blasts of plasma in Kim’s direction as she sprints away, but none of them come close to her. Kim flees only a moment later.

My thoughts were steering me off course

Off course

“That’s a gun,” Kim says. “Wade, that’s a gun.”

“A Glock 19, to be exact. Got you red dot sights and everything - not a huge difference to your standard Glock but it never hurts to have a little edge.” The handgun is sitting on the table between the two of them, and Kim is glaring at it.

“You’re fifteen, how’d you even get that thing?”

“I have access to older people. It’s licensed to you.”

“I don’t know how to use it.”

“You’ll pick it up, here,” Wade puts a card onto the table, “I got you a shooting range membership.”

“Wade, I’m not going to use it.” Kim says, crossing her arms in a huff.

“Sure,” Wade shrugs, “I didn’t think you would, but it could be useful to have on you. Even if it’s just to scare people.” He throws a strip of leather onto the table beside the gun.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a shoulder holster - just a standard one. I’ll bring you something cooler once you’re used to having the gun on you, okay?”

Kim’s not okay with it, but she can see Wade isn’t going to budge, which is unnerving to her. She takes the holster, lets Wade help her put it on when she gets stuck, and slips the gun into place under her left arm. It’s uncomfortable. Wade insists she’ll get used to it and usher her out of room to where someone’s waiting to take her to the shooting range. Kim wants to protest but she acquiesces, simply because she understands it’s better to know how to use something strapped to than to not know.

So to the shooting range she goes.

* * *

What follows is a stunning amount of information that relies on jargon Kim doesn’t understand in the slightest. What she does gather is that it’s important that she doesn’t keep her finger on the trigger lest she accidentally pull the trigger. Lord knows she doesn’t want that. She learns that it’s magazine fed, what a magazine is, how to put bullets in it, how to put it in the gun, how to take it back out of the gun, and things to keep in mind so as to not screw that up somehow.

It’s around this point in the procedure that Kim ponders whether this is scarier than driving on her own for the first time.

Kim is given a guide on how to maintain the gun as homework, and then - finally, she thinks - she’s handed earmuffs and glasses and brought to an actual range. Because she’ll be damned if she doesn’t get to try it at this point.

“So, point and shoot, right?” Kim asks, eager to step up to the range.

“Not exactly,” the tall fellow coaching her pulls out his own Glock, “watch this.” He racks the slide, aims, flips off the safety and then fires. The gun kicks in his grip but not as much as Kim was expecting. He empties the magazine and slides it back into his holster.

“Keeping track of your bullets is always a good idea, if you reload while there’s a round in the chamber you don’t need to rack the slide to fire with the new rounds.”

“You mean the force of the shot puts the round in the chamber for me?” Kim asks.

“That’s what makes it an automatic. Have a crack at it.”

Kim does, and then she spends the rest of the afternoon practicing.

* * *

A month later she still hasn’t touched it on the job, but she’s starting tactical training at the range.

She’s damn good at it too.

And I can see clearly once again

Once again

It’s strange how things change. When they first started attending college, Ron and Kim would video chat every night. Then assignments piled on and they switched to every other day, then twice a week, then once a week - three years down the line they have a scheduled call once a month, and even then they miss it sometimes.

“So KP, how have you been?”

“Oh, y’know,” Kim shrugs, “college, save the world, beat up Drakken, college, sleep maybe.”

“Sounds relaxing.” Ron jokes. Kim smiles weakly.

“Do you ever miss it?” she asks. Ron pauses for a moment, and Kim aches for him to hug her. Too bad he’s in New York. Too bad they broke up two years ago.

“I miss spending all that time with you and, uh, feeling like you really needed me around to get you out of trouble I guess!” Ron shrugs, “I know that was never really what was happening, but at least I could pretend. Now you’re out there taking on the biggest and baddest all on your own!”

“How’s Rufus?” Kim asks, feeling sick to her stomach. At the sound of his name Rufus scampers onto Ron’s shoulder and puffs his chest out. Kim smiles a little harder and sighs.

Then her beeper goes off and it’s all she can do not to scream.

“What’s the sitch?” she says, pulling her communicator up. Wade tells her about sightings of Gill along the coast of Massachusetts - odd - and she starts getting ready.

“Sorry Ron,”

“I understand,”

“I have to take this and,”

“Kim I,”

“I promise I’ll call you as soon as I,”

Kim!” Ron yells, and Kim stops. She looks at her computer, where Ron is smiling at her warmly from the monitor.

“It’s cool, KP. Go save the world.” Ron grins. Kim sighs and walks up to the computer.

“Thank you, Ron. Love you.”

“You too.” Ron waves goodbye and Kim ends the call.

My fears are melting like water from the ice

Water from the ice

Kim’s battle suit doesn’t do much in the way of concealing her weapon. She supposes that’s the point, but right now it isn’t doing her any favours. She’s fighting her way through the crowds of the Boston Seafood Festival and people keep giving her dirty looks. She has a license to open carry in Massachusetts - she knows it’s not really the thing to be doing but she’s working dammit. Kim breaks free from the crowd by the water and takes a moment to catch her breath.

“Alright Gill,” she murmurs, “what are you up to?”


“Fucking-” Kim jumps away from the water, “God, was that necessary?”

“Yeah,” Gill is grinning up at her from the bay. She glowers back.

“You’re a long way from home, Gill.”

“Everyone deserves a vacation, even freaks.”

“Look, midterms are coming up and I don’t have the time to listen to you expatiate- what are you up to?”

“I already said, nothing!” Gill snaps. “Unless sharing my favourite secret ingredient around the festival counts as something, that is.”

He’s barely finished talking when Kim takes off. She sprints to the nearest stall and vaults over the counter, ignoring the complaints of the staff.

“Yeah yeah, trying to save the day here,” she counters, searching for evidence to corroborate Gill’s story. She opens a vial marked ‘special sauce’ and sniffs it experimentally. She retches at the smell of swamp and throws it at the ground. The vial shatters and the muck sinks into the pavement.

* * *

The next fifteen minutes are spent running from stall to stall by Kim, and the entire time she’s trying to think of a better way to do this. Having Ron here would really help but he’s in New York, where he’s been studying at culinary school for nearly three years now. She misses having him around, but she’s come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t an enormous help anyway, even with his Mystical Monkey Power. He’s happier now, and they’re happier as friends.

Still, a second pair of hands would be nice.

What Kim really needs, she decides, is some sort of diversion. Some kind of diversion that will get people to run and - man running with this gun is uncomfortable - oh. She halts, making several people crash into her, but she doesn’t pay attention to the jostling of the crowd as she looks around for a fixture she can climb up. A minute later she’s standing on the roof of a food truck. Her hands are trembling but she holds the grip, racks the slide, flips the safety off and points the pistol at the sky.

The first shot takes her by surprise. It’s so much louder than she was expecting, she actually jerks away from the weapon in her hand, even as she squeezes the trigger twice more.

Her right ear is ringing like crazy and she flips the safety back on as she holsters the gun. She got what she wanted. The crowd is dispersing at a rate that takes Kim aback, and when the area is clear enough - maybe 90 seconds she waits - she leaps to the ground and races back to where she saw Gill.

* * *

The news the next day focuses on how Kim saved the day from 3,000 people becoming mutants, and spends no time on anything that happened before her fight with Gill.

“Perks of being America’s sweetheart, I guess,” Kim hums.

As the fire from the sun burns bright

Burns bright

Drakken’s really outdone himself this time. Her shoes are glued to the floor, and if she did the obvious thing, take her shoes off, then she’d just wind up with her feet glued to the floor. Which, no thanks. On the plus side the bird twerp also has his feet glued to the ground, as does Shego. She’s been in worse situations. Drakken is fleeing at top speed, Shego is screaming at him and Kim takes a moment to think of a way to stop him. She does the first thing that comes to mind.

Kim takes the gun from her holster and aims carefully before firing twice in Drakken’s direction. Once for either side of his head.

He stops.

The warehouse room is silent as Drakken turns around slowly, his hands in the air.

“Yeah,” Kim smirks, “that’s what I thought.” She’s got the pistol trained on him now, but the safety’s on. Not that these suckers need to know that.

“I think you should give me something to stand on, now.” Drakken hesitates and Kim fires above his head. That gets him moving, and fast. Safety back on, she aims at him while he scrambles to throw a tarp over the glue-covered section of floor. As soon as she’s able she holsters the gun again and dives out of the glued portion of the floor. The room is still silent as she walks to the doomsday machine in her socks and turns it off.

* * *

Fighting in socks really isn’t advisable. For one, it hurts a lot more to kick people when you haven’t got shoes on, but Kim kicks at Shego anyway. If Shego’s at kicking distance it’s going to be hard for her to get Kim with the plasma fists.

“So what’s with the new toy?” Shego asks, rolling out of the way of Kim’s foot.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean what’s it for?” Shego swipes at Kim’s face, “You look tired, Kimmie, what’s stopping you from just ending the fight now?”

“I’m,-” Kim snarls, kicks Shego square in the gut, “I’m not going to kill you, that’s why.” Shego executes a flawless tactical getup.

“There are other ways to stop a person with a gun, pumpkin.”

“I’m not the bad guy here, Shego.” Kim doesn’t like the line of questioning Shego’s taking them on, it’s making her stomach feel weird.

“I’m pretty sure Dr. D wet himself before, you know.”

“So, Shego? If there’s a point to this I’d like to get to it now.”

“So, maybe you’re not a bad guy. But I think you graduated to bully today.”

“What,” Kim bites her tongue and elbows Shego in the face. “Just, shut up.”

“Ooh, did I hit a nerve there? Don’t be too hurt, Kimmie.” Shego handsprings backwards and well out of range, blood on her face from her split lip. “I meant it as a compliment.” Kim’s stomach turns over again, accompanied by an almost uncomfortable pull downwards in her gut.

The next second the redhead is running from the facility as fast as she can.

I feel its warmth upon my skin

Upon my skin

Kim is walking across her campus when she notices a shadow behaving oddly. She watches it bob along and then squints up at the roof. She sees a figure moving across the ledge, and watches as it leaps off the ledge with a rope. It’s Falcon Sentinel.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Kim mutters, tossing her books to the ground and settling into a fighting stance.

“Kim Possible,” he yells as he sprints up to her. Kim cuts to the chase and punches him in the gut. She’s got a class in ten minutes and she got four hours of sleep last night. She doesn’t have time or energy to mess around right now. There’s no flash to how she fights today. Her strikes are direct, her blocks are solid and goddammit how is she gonna restrain this guy so she can go to class?

She’s distracted momentarily by the thought and he punches her full in the jaw. Kim spins and falls, Falcon yelps and shakes his hand out. Kim is too stunned to do anything but watch as three enormous men leap onto Falcon and a fourth helps her to her feet.

“Are you alright miss?”

“Yeah, I’ve had worse.” Kim watches the men wrestling in front of her, “I have a class across campus, do you think it’s cool if I run off?”

“I reckon campus security should take it from here - good luck getting to your class.” He smiles and Kim smiles back shyly. Then she remembers she’s got somewhere to be and hurries to pick up her stuff before she runs off.

* * *

The next time they meet she’s ready for it and she knocks out one of his teeth.

All my doubts, all my worry, all my hope

Falcon Sentinel smirks at Kim from where they’re locked in a grapple, and she gets a kick of satisfaction at the gap in his grin. She throws him off her and spins in place to catch Shego before her hair gets plasma-ed off.

“I’m surprised Kimmie, thought you would’ve gotten rid of that guy by now.”

“Don’t remind me,” Kim grunts, ducking out of Shego’s range.

“I’m tired of you interfering!" Falcon runs up to them and, to the surprise of both women, goes for Shego. He tackles her to the ground and she brings her arms up to protect her face as she’s pinned, plasma glowing strong. He grabs her forearms and begins to push her guard apart. For a moment Kim doesn’t know what to do, so she watches in stunned silence as he forces her arms out of the way of Shego’s face, which he punches once, twice, three times, four times. Kim’s vision falters and she doesn’t follow what’s happening too closely but she finds herself on top of Falcon Shithead and pressing the barrel of her gun into his forehead, hard.

His face is completely white and Kim can feel him shaking beneath her.

Her jaw is clenched so tightly it hurts, and she realises her other hand is pressing down on his neck, but not so much that he can’t breathe. Her anger fades and she’s relieved that she came to her senses before she made a terrible mistake. But she still wants this guy to hurt.

So Kim pins his hand against the ground with the gun and fires.

They don't haze me anymore

Kim doesn’t see Falcon or Shego for a while after that. Wade keeps her posted on Shego and Drakken’s activities, but Falcon seems to have gone completely underground. It’s two entire months before she has any reason to go after Drakken. So when Shego tackles her off the platform Dr. Drakken and his new whatever-ray are on and into a separate room, she’s in the mood for a good fight. They crash into a table, Shego throws Kim into a stacks of crates, Kim pulls herself out. Shego doesn’t appear to be in the mood for their usual acrobatics today, and is doing a good job of keeping Kim on a backpedal.

“What, cat got your tongue?” Kim says, dodging backwards. Shego responds with a growl and a fist. Kim grabs Shego’s wrist and puts her in a lock.

“Are you alright?” Kim asks. Shego roars and for a moment Kim’s vision is blinded by green plasma, the next thing she knows Shego is holding her against the wall. They’re almost nose to nose they’re so close. There’s a fireworks show happening in Kim’s belly. She can’t even feel her knees, Shego is practically holding her up.

“Do you understand how this works, princess?” Shego snarls. “We fight, one of us gets away and we call it a day.” Kim frowns.

“Is this because I saved you?” Kim says. Shego slams her ignited fist into the wall beside Kim’s head. Kim flinches, but does her best to maintain eye contact with Shego. “Shego?”

"Yes, this is because of that. This is because you clearly forgot the part where we’re enemies.” Shego’s glare could melt steel, but Kim holds it.

“You’ve saved me before. More than once.”

“That’s different, Kimmie, my end game is you six feet under - and I’m the one who’s going to do it.”

Kim can only think of one thing to say, which is probably objectively the worst thing she could right now. She says it anyway.

“Then do it, Shego. Kill me.”

* * *

Shego doesn’t kill Kim. Instead, she scowls at Kim with an intensity that makes Kim seriously regret her words, but before Kim can try and get out of her position stuck between the wall and her adversary, Shego kisses her.

And instead of stopping her, or fighting back, Kim lets her.

* * *

The next day Kim can barely move, but not for her usual reasons. Shego had bolted as soon as they were done, abandoning Drakken. That had made it easy enough to thwart his plans, and had made it even easier for her to pretend that what had happened hadn’t happened. Frankly, Kim was just fine with that.

They've been burned up by the sun's violent fire

Kim is grateful for the fact that her college is understanding about her occasionally needing to take leave to save the world. She’s especially grateful for it this week as she’s been flying from country to country trying to track down Professor Dementor. He’s toying with her, and it’s getting on her last nerve. Day three of this nonsense, Kim just wants some damn sleep. Her wrist beeps and she lifts her hand.

“You’d better have something solid this time, Wade.”

“Hey! I’m trying my best here, and it’s not like you could do any better.”

“I, god,” Kim sighs, “sorry, Wade. I’m just sick of plane hopping like this.”

“Good for you, I’ve actually gotten visual confirmation that Dementor is in Prague.”

“Are we any closer to knowing what he’s up to?”

“Uh, yeah. Looks a bit like a disintegration ray.”

“Oh, awesome.” Kim groans.

“That’s not even the worst part,” Wade adds, “it looks like he’s going to bounce it off a satellite and take out the Himalayas.”

* * *

As it turns out, Glock 19s are not very much help against fully automated robot soldiers. As it turns out, fully automated robots are a pain in the ass, and Kim is seriously considering changing her career direction.

“On the plus side, this is definitely where Dementor is,” Kim flips over an incoming robot and rips its head off in one swift action, “on the down side, this is terrible for my nails.”

Kim lands and the robot directly in front of her explodes in a mist of green.

“Your nails could’ve used the trim anyway, pumpkin.”

“What are you doing here?” Kim spies Shego dropping from the rafters before she disappears into the fray.

“What’s it look like? I’m helping.” Shego is faring much better against the robots than Kim was on her own.

"Why are you helping?”

“Because there’s a ski resort on the Himalayas that I’m quite fond of, why do you think?”

Together the rest of the robots don’t serve as a huge problem. When the room is empty the two women eye each other carefully. Shego speaks first.

“Are we gonna look into each other’s eyes for twenty minutes or are we going to save the world already?”

“Since when do you care so much?”

“Newsflash, Kimmie, as long as I’m in the world I’m going to be invested in sustaining it.”

“Then let’s get a move on.”

* * *

It’ll never cease to amaze Kim that every single villain’s lair has a network of crawlspaces that are just big enough for a person to get through. A slim person, sure, but it’s still a notable design flaw that so many people let slide.

“Hey, is there a reason why these things are always big enough to crawl through?”

“I’ve always figured everyone was too stupid to fix it.” Shego is behind Kim in the tunnel with her hands burning cold in an attempt to light the way.

“Why didn’t you?” Kim asks.

“Two way street, princess. How would I get all my pretty paintings without the help of these nifty AC units, hmm?”

“Okay, point.”

“You doing alright up there?” Shego asks.

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve been getting slower and slower - hey, when did you eat last? Hell, when’d you sleep last?”

“I don’t really remember,” Kim grunts, “I’ve been a little preoccupied. Plus I have no idea what time it is, like, anywhere in the world. I’ve been travelling a lot the last few days.”

“Alright, well, when we’re out of this stupid tube you’re taking a power nap while I find you some food.”

Kim freezes in place and tries to look over her shoulder at Shego.


“Why do you care so much how I’m doing?”

"God, Kim, how thick are you?”


“If you go down in a fight I’ll be on my own. I can handle myself, but I’d rather it didn’t come to that.”

“Oh.” Kim starts crawling again, somewhat disappointed. She’s not sure what she was expecting Shego to say but it wasn’t… it wasn’t that.

“Besides,” Shego coughs, “maybe you aren’t as intolerable as I first thought. Maybe I kinda like having you alive.”

Kim is grateful Shego can’t see her face right now, cause it’s bright as a tomato.

“I kinda like having you alive, too.”

* * *

Twelve more hours of chasing henchmen and navigating an underground maze of nonsensically poorly mapped tunnels in this damned lair, Kim finally gets a chance to breathe fresh air again. She’s not done yet, she has to keep going, has to disable the ray, but Shego and Dementor ended up on his escape rocket together and Kim’s pretty sure that means everything is handled. On that front, at least.

So she takes a second to breathe, and enjoy the sun. Just a minute of rest won’t beget the end of the world.

The space in front of her explodes.

* * *

She’s got no way of knowing how long she’s been out, or if she was out at all. Her ears are whining and her eyes are filled with dust. When Kim gets a chance to check her communicator she finds it broken. She lies on her back, debris surrounding her while she waits for her body to start responding properly. Again, she has no clue how long this takes. The sun is still out and she thinks can hear sirens but it’s very hard to tell.

Kim spots a figure emerging through the blur that is her vision currently, and for a fleeting moment she thinks it’s Ron.

“It appears your time has come, Kim Possible.” Falcon Sentinel walks up to Kim with an easy smile on his face. Kim goes for her gun and realises it’s not in her holster. Falcon is walking slowly, so Kim rolls onto her stomach and searches for her gun. She spies it, not too far away, hidden behind a bit of rubble. She thinks he hasn’t seen it yet.

Kim begins to crawl.

“Where exactly do you think you’re going?”

Kim ignores him. Dragging herself towards the pistol. She doesn’t want to reach for it before she’s sure she can reach it, in case Falcon realises what she’s trying to do. His boot slams into her side and Kim is knocked onto her back, gasping for air. Her ribs are throbbing with pain. She can feel tears in her eyes.

“You maimed me, Kim.” He holds up his hand, looks through the hole in it at her face. “Some hero you turned out to be.” Kim keeps inching towards the gun as best she can on her back, trying to maintain eye contact with the man standing over her. It’s hard, because to her the world is still spinning, but she’s trying.

“I’m going to kill you now.” Falcon steps forward, presses her chest into the ground with his foot. Kim tries to say something, but her tongue feels encased in wool. The foot moves up to her neck and Falcon puts enough pressure on to cut off her air, but nothing else. She grabs his ankle with one hand, tears slipping from her eyes as she tries to plead and coughs instead. He grins, and spots Kim reaching for a rock near her head.

“You won’t be able to hurt me with that, Kimmie.

Kim’s hand closes around the Glock 19, she flicks off the safety with her thumb, she aims, and she fires.

* * *

Falcon Sentinel crumples above her. Kim manages to have him land on her legs instead of her head, and it takes her a few minutes to climb out from beneath him. When she finally stands up the sirens are still wailing, she can’t stand straight properly because of the pain in her ribs, and she’s soaked in blood.

She shot him in the head.

Kim isn’t sure how long she stares at his body, but when she limps away it’s because she still needs to save the world. Save the world, shower, bed.

Maybe after that she can think about this mess.

My desires, all my will, all my want

The next day the news is about Kim Possible the hero, about Dementor and Shego crash landing into the countryside of the Czech Republic, about Dementor in custody and Shego still at large. The news makes no mention of Falcon Sentinel, or his death. Kim watches it from the couch at her parents house, despite not having lived there for two years now. There’s eggs and toast and a cup of tea in front of her, but halfway through the news segment she jumps to her feet and runs to the kitchen to throw up into the sink.

Kim spends the day trying to relax. Her bruises rise and her sores swell. Her cuts heal and her mother tells her about neuroscience, which Kim tunes out easily enough. Her mind settles on Falcon Sentinel’s dead body sprawled across her lap. When she had run into the control room there were a few straggling henchmen who all turned tail and ran when they saw Kim covered in blood. She shudders at the memory.

After the tweebs get home and the sun is just beginning to set, Kim has moved on from feeling sorry for herself. She climbs out of her window and calls Wade.

“What’s up?”

“Do you know where Drakken is?”  Kim asks. Wade pauses.

“Aren’t you having a day off?”

“This is what I want to do. I’m tired of reacting to his plans, Wade. We need to be proactive.”

“I, uh, okay,” Wade goes silent for forty seconds or so, then tells Kim an address.

“Thanks Wade,” Kim says, “I don’t need a ride.”

Kim did what she had to - she keeps doing what she has to. It’s them, thevillains, who are at fault. Anyone Kim hurts is only because she has to, and that’s on them. So, fine. If this is what they want from her, then it’s what they’ll get. Kim Possible makes things happen.

No matter what it takes.

* * *

When she gets to Drakken’s lair, Kim breaks through the glass ceiling. There’s no reason for her to be subtle. She’s got the element of surprise this time. Or, she thinks she does until she lands in a completely empty room. For a moment she’s checking everything carefully but it only takes her a second to determine that there’s no danger here. Kim walks to a nearby console and slams her fist down on it. These people were responsible for so much death, so much destruction, so much misery . They deserve to suffer and Kim is the only one who can do it, dammit.

I mean, Kim thinks, no one else will, it seems.

"What are you doing here?” Shego asks. Kim starts and faces the other woman, who’s filing her nails as she leans against a nearby column. “Hang on, is there an echo?” Shego adds.

“Where’s Drakken?” It’s said through Kim’s teeth.

“Hell if I know,” Shego murmurs, “care to answer my question pumpkin?”

“I,” Kim falters. She’s here to punch Drakken, she’s certain of it. But her mind keeps dragging itself back to Falcon’s dead body, and the gun at her side. Shego frowns.

“Are you alright? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I don’t,” Kim sways on her feet and Shego is at her side the next moment, arm around Kim’s waist to provide support.


“I killed him,” Kim croaks, knees folding. Shego holds her, makes sure Kim sits instead of collapses.

“Who?” Shego asks. Kim murmurs her reply - if her head weren’t buried in her knees she would’ve seen Shego’s eyebrows rising in tandem.

“Well,” Shego pauses, “that guy was a pain in the ass anyway.”

“Have you ever killed someone?”

“That’s an adorable question, princess. What do you think?” At that, Kim lifts her head and sees Shego eyeing her with a perfectly arched eyebrow.

“Okay, fair point,” Kim sighs, “how do you deal with it?”

“I don’t.” The nail file is back out and in use.

“You don’t care about it at all?”

“No,” Shego says, “why would I? I have a job, a goal, an ambition, an ideal. Whatever or whoever is in the way of that is an obstacle. I want a painting? I steal it. Drakken wants me to get a specific item from a specific engineer, and he won’t give it to me? That guy is in the way of my job, and I always finish my jobs.”

“What about when I stop you?”

“It’s the same principle, Kim. Only in this case, I’m the obstacle in the way of your ideal.” Kim thinks about that for a while. The two sit together in silence while she does. Finally, Kim speaks up.

“If we worked together the world would be such a different place.”

“That’s great, Kim, but I don’t plan on switching sides.” As she says this, Shego puts her hand on Kim’s. A moment later, Kim turns her hand over and intertwines their fingers.

They don't haze me anymore

Back from a mission, Kim staggers into her room at college. All she wants is a hot shower and to sleep for a year, so she doesn’t notice her roommate’s hurry when she leaves. All Kim is thinking about is how soon she can be lying down. When she’s out of the shower she decides that maybe she should eat something before she sleeps, so three minutes later she’s sitting in her living room with a bowl of cereal and the news on.

Her stomach drops when she sees grainy footage taken from a CCTV camera of her shooting a man in the leg as he runs away. He crumples and watching the video, Kim can almost hear his screams again. In her defence, he was trying to run away with artifacts from the Morgan Memorial Hall of Gems. The newsreel says ‘Kim Possible: Hero or Renegade?’ as the anchor gives a warning for graphic content before switching to Kim as she was only a few hours before, straddled across a different man in the same uniform. She punches him, and then she punches him again, and then she punches him again, and then Kim turns the TV off.

“They kept trying to run,” she murmurs with her eyes shut, “I had a job to do, and I do what’s necessary.”

Kim takes a breath, opens her eyes and grabs her laptop so she can watch Netflix.

They've been burned up by the sun

By the sun

The time between that news report and her next mission with Drakken, Kim tries to scale back on her methods. Less force, fewer fear tactics - nothing works. Every time she searches her own name online there’s articles and tweets and status updates damning her. Her efforts only prove to diminish her performance rate, so she goes back to what works - who cares what people think. She’s saving their lives. She’s saving the world.

Next time she runs into Drakken, she has a plan.

This lair is a relatively small one, only providing space for Shego and Drakken, Kim estimates. She switches her communicator off once she makes it inside the compound, and waits for Shego to leave Drakken alone. He raves about his new death ray for twenty minutes before Shego finally goes to check the perimeter, and that’s when Kim strikes.

“Sorry, Drakken,” she puts him in a sleeper hold and waits for him to stop struggling. She lays him down gently when he does, deactivates the death ray, and waits for Shego to come back. Kim’s getting bored when Shego returns.

“Oh no, how could this have happened,” Shego drawls. The older woman doesn’t even bother to feign interest in fighting Kim, she just walks up to her and says, “What do you want now?”

“I want you.” Kim says. Shego goes bug-eyed.

“That’s forward-”

“Not like that, god. I want you to work with me.” Kim says. Shego stares at her for a long time.

“It’s weird, if you’d said that to me a couple months ago I would’ve laughed in your face.”

“And now?”

“Pass.” Shego folds her arms. Kim shrugs.

“Fair enough. I have a question though.”

“And what’s that, princess?”

“Why work for him?” Kim gestures at the sleeping Drakken on the floor.

“Pay’s good, vacation’s good, it’s easy,” Shego rambles. Kim shakes her head.

“If that’s true, it’s a waste. But I don’t think it’s true. You could make way more money on your own.” Kim watches Shego’s features twist into a scowl.

“Alright, so if that’s the case, why should I work for you?" Shego snaps. Kim takes a step towards her.

“Not for me, with me,” Kim takes another step, “I’m not asking for a henchman or a sidekick, Shego. I’m asking for an equal.” At this moment, the two women are standing close, like good friends would.

“Why me, then?”

“Because, Shego, I know that you’re capable. You can keep up with me. And,” Kim takes one last step closer, “I trust you.”

“You’re freaking me out a bit here, Kimmie,” Shego says. She doesn’t move. Kim does, reaches up slowly to cup Shego’s cheek in her hand.

“You’re the only one I can trust now.” Kim breaks their eye contact, just for a split second to glance at Shego’s lips. She catches Shego doing the same for her, so Kim kisses her.

The first time this happened they were both angry, and desperate, and not entirely sure of what they wanted to get out of it. When Kim pulls away she presses her forehead into Shego’s.

“Please,” Kim whispers, “I can’t do this alone.” Shego takes a step back.

“What exactly do you want to achieve?”

“I want to make the world better, Shego. People keep threatening it, more than just Drakken and Professor Dementor and DNAmy - dictators and forgers and traffickers.”

“And how do you intend to do that?”

“Agree to be my partner and I’ll show you,” Kim says. Shego looks at her for a moment, then at Drakken on the floor.

“Alright,” Shego hesitates, “let me just,” Shego surges forward and kisses Kim again. It’s slightly rougher, but Kim is ready for it.

“Do we get to keep doing that?” Shego asks, smirking.

"I'd certainly prefer that.” Kim grins.

“Then okay,” Shego nods, “I’m in. Where do we start?”

“We start like this.” Kim draws her gun and fires three times, shooting Drakken where he lies on the floor.

All my thirst, my ambition in my mind

It takes two weeks for Drakken’s death to hit the news cycle. By then, Kim and Shego have already taken care of Gill. (When Gill crawled out of his lake to investigate the strange green glow, he’d found Shego crouched on the dock, smiling down at him. He’d barely gotten a chance to ask what she was doing when she grabbed him by his neck and dragged him onto his back. When he was thrown back into the lake he was tangled in a net and his gills had been cauterised shut.) Wade is the first to contact Kim.

“What’s the sitch?” Kim is careful to keep the communicator facing herself. She’s in her new apartment that’s off campus, which is shared with Shego. Shego is on the opposite end of the living room from Kim, inspecting the blueprints of the Señor Senior, Senior’s island.

“Have you seen the news?”

“Could you be a little more specific?”

“It’s Drakken, Kim. He’s dead.”

“Oh my god, what?” Kim manages not to glare at Shego, who is mouthing ‘oh my god ’ and fanning herself with her hands.

“There’s more. Apparently he’s been dead for two weeks and no one’s heard about it until now - which means you or Shego would’ve been the last to see him alive. It’s hard to tell, because I can’t find anything on her movements in the last couple weeks.”

“Okay, um, keep me posted on her status, Wade. She might’ve finally snapped.” She glances up to see Shego mouthing 'what the fuck, Kim’.

“I don’t think it was Shego.”

“You don’t? Who could it have been if not her?”

“Well,” Wade swallows, “thing is, he was shot.”

“Hang on, are you suggesting I did this?”

“No! No, no, not at all. Well, okay, maybe I am. Because, see, I’ve been thinking about timelines, and I checked the routines of the communicator at the time you would’ve been in Drakken’s facility, and it was switched off.”

“I can’t believe you’re saying this,” Kim says. Wade swallows again. The picture quality isn’t especially good, but Kim thinks she can see sweat on his brow.

“I just need to know why you turned the communicator off, Kim.”

“I might’ve bumped it or something, Wade. There could be thousands of reasons why.”

“Yeah, okay,” Wade nods, “don’t expect to hear from me again, Kim.” He ends the communication and Kim looks at the blank screen of her watch a little longer before she looks back at Shego.

“Well, it could’ve gone worse,” Shego says. Kim rolls her eyes and sits in the armchair, dejected.

“C’mon princess,” Shego walks over to her, “we don’t need him. I have my own contacts - we can still make our dream a reality.”

"Our dream?”

“Of course. We are partners, after all. I think this is a good idea. Like,” Shego hums for a moment, “survival of the fittest.”

* * *

When it comes around to Kim’s monthly video call with Ron, Señor Senior, Senior has announced his second retirement. (Shego didn’t want to hurt Junior and Kim agreed that the two of them had never posed any real danger, so a conversation and a formidable threat was all it took to get them to stand down. Word on the street is that Senior’s new hobby is lawn bowls.) It’s the first thing Ron talks about.

“Did you hear about Señor Senior, Senior retiring?”

“Sure did. Pretty good news, huh?” Kim’s smile is genuine. She’s had a tough week at college and hearing Ron, seeing him happy - it eases her mind.

“You know, I was in Middleton on the weekend. I ran into Bonnie.”

“Oh, that’s, um. Cool? I guess?”

“Apparently she saw you and Shego at Senior’s place last week.” Ron’s voice loses all its cheer.

“Ron, I-”

“Whatever you’re doing, Kim, I don’t think it’s good.” Ron hangs up.

Shego finds Kim crying in her room a few minutes later. Silently, Shego helps Kim up and away from the computer, and into the kitchen. Shego kisses the side of Kim’s head gently.

“I’ll make us some tea, okay?” Shego turns around and Kim shuts her eyes, a lump of pain sitting tightly in her chest.

“He hates me.” The lump pulses painfully.

“Why?” Shego is facing away as she asks this, still making the tea.

“He heard about us being at the island-”

“So he knows we got Senior to retire and he’s mad at you?” Shego interrupts, turning and putting the tea down on the counter beside Kim. “That’s ridiculous.” Kim remains silent.

“I mean, think about it. One of the most notorious and prolific villains in the world ups and retires, and he knows you were responsible - not only that, but he’s got evidence that you’ve gotten me to switch sides? He should be proud of you. Why’s the doofus gotten his panties in such a twist?”

“You… make an excellent point,” Kim admits. Shego puts her hand on Kim’s hip.

“Yeah, well. It helps that I’m right, I mean, what a fucking jerk.” Shego puts their foreheads together, “Remember, you’re only trying to make the world a better place.”

“You’re right,” Kim says. Shego gives a hum of agreement, planting another kiss on Kim’s forehead.

They don't haze me anymore

It’s amazing, Kim thinks, how efficient Shego is when she works. Now that Wade isn’t supporting her, she’s relying on Shego’s contacts to get her where the bad guys are. The thing is, the bad guys Kim is dealing now are less oddly themed lone men and more, y’know, drug cartels. They both go on these jobs, which makes them significantly easier. The fact that they all have guns, that’s pretty damn terrifying, but Kim and Shego know what they’re doing.

These guys don’t.

Kim’s gotten herself a second, standard, Glock 19 and as much ammo as her cargo pants can carry. Even so, she doesn’t take out half as many guys as Shego does. The compound is up in flames when they leave. Shego is piloting the helicopter.

“Do you know how many people you killed today?” Kim asks as she straps herself into the co-pilot seat.

“I wasn’t really keeping count, Kim. Does it matter?”

“No, not really.”

* * *

A week later the news is overcome with reports of a massive drug cartel operation in Argentina having been slaughtered, “all dead by shooting, burning, or blunt force trauma”. There’s no mention of Kim and Shego. No one knows they were there.

They've been swallowed by the sun

“Today’s a big day,” Shego slips her arms around Kim’s waist. She in her catsuit, and Kim is just putting on her tactical belt.

“It is,” Kim agrees, “I’m nervous. I haven’t been this nervous since my first cheer performance.”

“And how’d that go?” Shego asks, turning Kim around to face her.

“Perfectly, actually. Don’t even know what I was so worried about.”

“Then you’re going to be fine, obviously.” Shego kisses her softly. Kim kisses back, just for a moment.

“Come on, we have work to do.”

* * *

Energy; Yesterday is a company of deplorable habits. Kim’s uncovered evidence for their participation in employing child laborers, blackmailing undocumented immigrants, and to top it all off, the company is one of the biggest worldwide perpetrators of coal seam gas energy.

Essentially, Energy; Yesterday is evil, and Kim intends to take them down. Together they’ve plotted out a way through the company building to the room where an important board meeting is taking place. All the company bigwigs are going to be there.

When Kim and Shego drop together form the ceiling of the board meeting, the room goes silent.

“Hello gentlemen,” Shego says, “sorry to interrupt, but I need to know which of you is CEO Marvin Page?” Every person in the room points to the man at the end of the table.

“Thank you for your cooperation,” Kim says. She shoots Marvin Page in the neck, and Shego moves to block the exit, hands lit up. She eyes each of the board members, daring them to move.

“Marvin Page was an evil man. He was not going to finish this day alive. You all have a chance here, that I’m offering you - no, I’m begging you, take this chance.” Kim walks around the room to Marvin’s chair. “Turn the direction of this company around, invest in avenues of renewable energy, stop using child labour - you know, be good people.”

“You’re crazy,” one of the men at the table speaks up, and Kim looks at him. He shrinks back into his seat.

You are crazy. You people, in this room, you usher on the death of hundreds of thousands of people every day, you take people from their families.”

“You just murdered a man.”

“Yeah, well,” Kim shrugs, signalling Shego to get ready to run, “killing a killer means there’s the same number of killers in the world, but kill one person who kills lots of people daily - that’s a lot of lives saved.”

“Alright princess, time to go, emergency services and all,” Shego smiles at the board members, “thank you for your wonderful hospitality.” The two women sprint from the building and into the getaway car Shego prepared.

By the time the police get there Kim and Shego are long gone.

They don't haze me anymore

Together they bounce from hideout to hideout for a few weeks, mostly to throw the scent away from where they actually are. Giving credit where it’s due, Kim had no idea Shego had this many places backed up. It’s impressive. Kim hasn’t heard from her parents in a long while. Kim hasn’t heard from anyone other than Shego in a long while. Kim doesn’t really mind.

They finally settle in a nice almost-palace in the mountains of Japan. The air is clean and the view is fantastic, so Kim is listening to the radio on the balcony of the bedroom she and Shego share.

Notorious super-criminal Shego and hero-turned-criminal mastermind Kim Possible are still at large. Shego is wanted in thirteen countries, Kim Possible- ” The radio cuts out. Kim glances over her shoulder to see Shego by the radio.

“I was listening to that.”

“What for? Curious about your bounty?” Shego moves to Kim’s side, stands flush against her.

“I was trying to keep track of where they think we are.”

“We’ll be fine, baby. I told you, I have people ready to cover our tracks.” Kim remains silent.

“What’s wrong?”

“I was just thinking, we have a lot of work to do.” Kim leans into Shego’s side.

“Tomorrow’s job, Kim. Hell, maybe even next week’s job - next month’s job. You deserve a break.” Shego runs her hand over Kim’s back, which she knows is riddled with cuts and bruises.

“I could book us a trip to a resort nearby that I know…”

“That sounds pretty good,” Kim agrees. “I’ve never had so many enemies before.”

“Enemies gained, enemies lost,” Shego lets Kim rest her head on her shoulder, “allies lost, allies earned.”


“Kim, we’ve got more friends now than you can imagine.” Shego gives Kim a wide grin. “There’s nobody who can stop us now as long as we’re smart.”

“Which we are.”


The two women watch the sunset together on the balcony, their minds on the road ahead of them.

Nothing is left here in my path. I'm free...

I'm free, I'm free