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You Take My Breath

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Hutch lay in bed debating if he really wanted to get up to go jogging. He sighed and swung his legs over the bedside, got up, and stretched. He went into the bathroom to splash water on his face. He looked in the mirror. The face looking back at him was not the same face as a year ago. It had lost a lot of its vitality. So much had happened. He shook his head and looked down. He missed those days; he missed his old life. He missed Starsky.


Arms went around his waist. He felt a soft kiss on his ear. He stood up and let his body be pulled into the strong arms. He lay his head back on the shoulder of the man he now called his lover.


“Good morning, baby.”


“Morning.” Hutch tried to shake off the memory that lingered in his mind.


“I thought you would be out hitting the pavement by now.” Evan pulled him in to a close hug. “What’s the matter?”


“I’m still trying to wake up.” Hutch answered.


“Lately you seem a bit preoccupied with your thoughts. Is it something I did?”


Hutch turned to face Evan. “No, it’s not you. It’s me. I’m trying to get used to my new job. I should be settled now. But I feel like... I don’t know... I’ll be okay.”


“Someone giving you trouble?” Evan asked with concern.


“No. The staff is nice, the students are great.” He sighed. “I’ll be okay, really.” He kissed Evan then wrapped his arms around him. Feeling the arms tighten and hold him close made him feel a little better, for now anyway.


“How about I get off a little early and take you out somewhere nice.” Evan kissed him on the lips then moved to Hutch’s neck.


Hutch pictured Starsky doing this to him. He startled himself and kind of pulled away. Evan gave him a strange look. Hutch smiled. “You are going to be late.”


Evan once again pulled him close.


“You keep this up and you’re going to be really late.”


“Your right, I got to go. I have a meeting at 9.” Evan kissed Hutch. “You sure you’re going to be okay?”


“Yes, I’m sure.” Hutch forced a smile. “I’m going to run off whatever is bugging me.” He smiled.


Evan smiled. “I’ll see you tonight.” He kissed him again then left.


Hutch listened for the car to start and drive away. He sat on the edge of the bed, “I wonder what you’re doing this morning, Starsk?” He looked down, remembering happy moments of the past.


He remembered many happy times with Starsky. How had things gotten out of hand so fast? How had he let it happen? If he could turn back the hands of time he would. He closed his eyes. He wished when he opened them, Starsky would be here, and everything would be like it used to be. He thought back before everything had happened. He and his partner and lover were truly happy. He smiled and sighed.


He thought back to the year before. Starsky and he were still partners. They had a case that ended with them busting up a big drug ring. They had their usual Friday night, going to eat at Huggy’s place. Then home to one of their apartments. That night they ended up at Hutch’s. They were exhausted. A night of beer and snacks and watching a movie; ended up with a hot sensuous shower and bed.


They were off for the next few days. That had been the start of their problems.


“It will be fun, babe. Look, let’s just go and if you don’t like it, we’ll leave. Okay?” Starsky pleaded.


Ever since that new club opened up, Starsky had been begging Hutch to go. There was always the excuse of working on the weekends. Now, they were off and Starsky thought it was a prime opportunity to go.


“And you’ll just up and leave when I’m ready, huh?”


“I swear.” Starsky grinned.


“Okay.” Hutch finally said, smiling himself.


Starsky was like a little kid. He ran into the room pulling off his clothes and heading to the shower.


That night Starsky and he had danced and chatted with various people they knew from Huggy’s. When Hutch was too tired to dance, Starsky would just dance with whoever was on the floor in front of him. Hutch loved watching him have fun. He always told his lover, I don’t care who you dance with, just save the last one for me.


The next few weekends they were there every Friday evening. One night, Hutch went to use the bathroom. When he came out, Starsky was not at the table. He sat down, thinking that he was dancing. He looked around on the dance floor and did not see him. He hadn’t seen him pass him going to the bathroom either. He got up and walked toward the back of the club. This club had halls and little coves in the back. He heard his partner’s laugh. He followed it and saw Starsky leaning up against the wall, and some guy was all over him. Hutch went over and pulled him away. As soon as he did, the guy started to swing. Hutch held up his badge. That stopped the man in his tracks. He walked away muttering to himself.


“Come on, we’re done for tonight.” He pulled Starsky with him.


“Hey! What are ya doing? I was...”


“Starsky, don’t start with me. Let’s go, don’t make a scene.” Hutch kept his voice low. They got outside and Starsky yanked his arm away from Hutch’s grip.


“What the hell?!” Starsky yelled.


“Get in the car.” Hutch ordered.


“I ain’t going anywhere. I’m not twelve! You can’t order me around like this.” Starsky started to go back in the club.


Hutch grabbed his arm. “Starsky, I am warning you. Get your ass in that car, now.”


Starsky stopped. He got the message loud and clear. He got in the car on the passenger side and folded his arms. He glanced out the window. The ride home was quiet. “Drive me home.”


“Starsky, I am taking you to my place. You’re going to get in a shower and go to bed to sleep off the liquor in your system. When you get up, we are going to talk. I’m not going to argue with you right now.” Hutch was trying to stay calm.


“Drive me home. I want to be in my own bed.” Starsky was not budging.


“Fine.” He turned the corner and headed for Starsky’s.


He pulled up in front of Starsky’s building. Starsky got out and headed up the steps. Hutch followed. Starsky was trying to unlock his door, but could not get the key in the lock. Hutch tried to take the keys from him. He pulled away.


“Will you stop it?!” Starsky yelled.


Hutch found the key on his key ring and put it in the lock and opened the door.


Starsky pushed past Hutch and headed for his bedroom and slammed the door. Hutch heard the door lock.


Hutch tossed and turned all night. When he was awake he was listening for Starsky. He finally got up as the sun was rising. He made coffee and decided to start breakfast. He was tempted to go knock on the bedroom door, but decided it was best to let his partner come out on his own. Finally halfway through fixing breakfast, he heard the shower turn on.


The bedroom door unlocked and Starsky walked out. He walked past Hutch and grabbed a cup and poured himself some coffee.


“Morning.” Hutch managed to say.


Starsky leaned up against the counter and took a sip of the hot liquid.


“Why don’t you sit down? Breakfast is ready.” Hutch put the plates on the table. Then he grabbed two cups of juice and placed them by each plate. Then he sat down.


Starsky stood there a moment. Then he sat across from Hutch. Finally, he said. “Why are you here?”


Hutch almost choked on his juice at the blunt question. He cleared his throat. “First, I drove your car here. Second, I thought we needed to talk about last night.”


“There’s nothing to talk about. You yanked me away from talking to a friend, embarrassing me in front of everyone. Then you dragged me out to the car. What more is there to talk about?” Starsky shoved a piece of bacon in his mouth.


“Starsky, the guy was all over you. If someone was all over me, I’m sure you would have done the same, or beat the hell out of him right there.”


“He wasn’t all over me. We were just talking.”


“In the back hallway? Those are make-out rooms, Starsk. What do you think he had in mind taking you back there?” Hutch found himself getting angry.


“We were talking, Hutch. Maybe if you didn’t just barge in and get all tough with him, you would have seen that. And what the hell was it with you flashing your badge at him?! Now you’re trying to be super cop?”


“Starsky, you were drunk. He was going to fuck you. I wasn’t going to let that happen, okay?” Hutch yelled.


“I could have stopped him, if I wanted...” Starsky stopped in mid-sentence.


Hutch turned pale. “IF you wanted?”


Starsky looked down.


“What the hell is that supposed to mean? The last I heard we were in a committed relationship.” Hutch was livid.


Starsky was still looking down. “Ever since we started going out to this club, you have been like a mother hen. You won’t let me talk to anyone. The only thing I can do there is dance. When someone comes up to even ask me anything, you’re on them like white on rice. Maybe I just want to be social. Did that ever occur to you?”


“Well, pardon me. The last I heard, being social meant talking, not having a guy climb on your body and trying to get into your pants.” Hutch knew that was out of line, but he was mad.


“He wasn’t climbing all over me. We were talking. Sam wouldn’t do that.”


“Sam? Starsky, I never even seen the guy before, and you act like you see him all the time.”


Starsky looked down. “Hutch, I do have friends, you know.”


Hutch went red. “You’re seeing him outside the club?”


“We just had lunch. I saw him and we got to talking and we ate.”


“You went on a date?”


“Not a date. He’s a friend, Hutch.” Starsky got up. “You think every guy I talk to I fuck? Don’t you trust me anymore?”


“Well, after I saw him man handling you...” Hutch got up. “You’re acting pretty smug about all this, buddy.”


“What’s your problem lately? Now you don’t trust me?” Starsky yelled.


“Well, gee Starsk, we’re in a relationship and you’re going out with people behind my back. When were you going to tell me? When you moved in with him?”


“I’m done with this. You are acting paranoid.” Starsky walked into the living room and sat on the couch.


Hutch stormed past him and grabbed his jacket off the chair. “I’m leaving before I say something I can’t take back.”


“How are you getting home?”


“I’ll walk.”


“Hutch, it’s storming outside.”


“No more than it is in here.” Hutch walked out and slammed the door.


Hutch was soaked when he got home. He took off his wet clothes and got into the shower. After he got out he pulled on a pair of sweat pants and a tee shirt. He headed to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. He went out in the green house and sat down. He closed his eyes and listened to the rain hit the glass. Seeing that guy all over Starsky had made him so angry. Why did Starsky allow that? And why did Starsky not see Hutch’s point in all of this? Hutch remembered when a new guy from IA had started hanging around Hutch a little too often, Starsky about blew a gasket. He was lucky not to get kicked off the force that day.


He didn’t remember falling asleep out there. When he woke up it was almost 8 in the evening. He got up, hoping maybe his partner had come over and was on his couch or in bed waiting for him to wake up. The apartment was quiet. He picked up the phone and dialed Starsky’s number. No answer. He decided to get dressed and go over to talk with his partner.


When he got there, the Torino was gone. He drove past his own place again, to see if maybe his partner had had a chance of heart also. Still, not a sign of him.


He drove down to where the club was. Right in front, was the Torino. His heart dropped. He pulled up and parked a few cars away. Just as he was getting out, Starsky and Sam walked out of the club and headed for Starsky’s car. Starsky was drunk, he was swaying into Sam. Sam started patting Starsky down and pulled out his keys. He opened the passenger door of the Torino and helped Starsky in. He then got into the driver’s side and Hutch followed them to Starsky’s place. Sam helped him up the stairs and into the apartment. Hutch got out of the car and headed up the stairs. He stood at the door and listened. He heard muffled sounds, a laugh then something fell over. More laughter. When he didn’t hear anything, he opened the door. Following the sounds to the bedroom, he saw Sam on the floor in front of his partner. Starsky’s pants were down around his ankles and his cock was in Sam’s hand. Starsky was obviously drunk. He looked like he was going to pass out any minute.


“Hey!” Hutch yelled.


Sam got up, quite startled. He put his hands up. “Look... it’s not what it looks like...”


“Get the hell out of here. If I see you around my partner again, I’ll kill you.” Hutch said in a low and menacing voice.


Sam ran to the front door and left.


Hutch helped his partner off with his clothes.


“Hutch? What… what are you doing here?”


“Getting you ready for bed, babe.”


“Where’s Sam?”


Hutch knew yelling and arguing would not help right now when Starsky was drunk like this. He helped him into bed and covered him up.


“Aren’t you coming to bed?”

“Not right now. I’ll be in later. Go to sleep now.” Hutch walked out in the other room. He was shaking with anger. What was Starsky thinking? For now, Hutch decided to let it go and try to lie down and rest. Tomorrow he was going to confront Starsky with some things that he knew his partner was not going to like.




When Hutch woke up he was still laying on the couch. He got up and went into his partner’s room. He sighed. That’s all they had been doing lately is fighting. He regretted not sleeping in his lover’s bed last night. He needed it to be normal again with them. It was not going to happen as long as Starsky was going to that club.


“Something wrong?” Starsky asked.


Hutch sighed. “Starsk, we need to talk.”


“Uh oh.” Starsky pulled himself up. “About what?”


“About everything that’s been going on. Starsk, you need to quit going to the club so much. You’re drinking is getting out of control...”


“Are you trying to say I’m an alcoholic?”


“You have been hitting it pretty hard every weekend. Hell, Starsk, you almost got yourself raped last night.” Hutch could feel tension rising.


“Rape?” Starsky laughed. “When was this, at the club?”


“It was right here in your room! I walked in and Sam almost had you for dinner! And speaking of Sam, what the hell are you doing going to the club with him late at night?”


“Hutch, I’m a big boy. I can go anywhere I want to go. I don’t need your permission.”


“So are we not in a relationship? Is that what you’re saying, buddy?”


“I’m saying, pal, I can do whatever I want to do. If I want to drink or go to the club, I will do it. Hutch, nothing is going to happen to me...”


“Stop right there, Starsk. I walked in on Sam ready to put his mouth on you. You could barely stand you were so drunk. I told him if I ever saw him around you again, I would kill him.”


“You what?!” Starsky was up out of bed with that comment. “Now you’re telling me who I can be friends with? How dare you tell him that!”


“Starsky, he was going to suck your cock! What the hell was I supposed to do, let him? Join in with him?” Then he paused, “Oh, I get it, you wanted him to do that to you. You waited until I was at home to leave and go be with him. Are you sleeping with him?”




“Answer my question, Starsk. Are you sleeping with him?”


Starsky stormed across the room to the bathroom. “I can’t believe this crap. You think I’m sleeping with him because he made a move on me when I was drunk?” He laughed a cynical laugh.


“Answer me, Starsk. Just give me a straight answer.” Hutch stood there watching his partner.


“So you don’t trust me? Is that it?”


“You can’t even answer the question.” Hutch almost broke down.


“I don’t have to ...” Starsky started to say.


“I know already, Starsk. You don’t have to do anything… including telling me if you are cheating on me. Right?” Hutch stormed out into the other room.


Starsky followed. “How committed are we if you can’t trust me?”


“Starsky, how can we be committed if you are going out with Sam all the time?”


Starsky looked down. “Nothing is going on, okay? Satisfied?”


Hutch shook his head and chuckled, “I haven’t been with anyone since you and I became lovers. I don’t go out unless it’s with you. You seem to be going out all the time lately. Not to mention, you seem to have someone you’re going out with.”


Starsky walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Then he closed and locked the door.


Hutch just stood there not able to respond. Starsky just closing him off like that sent bad vibes though his system. He grabbed his jacket and left.


The week of working with his partner was a challenge. They didn’t talk a lot other than about the job. The banter between himself and Starsky had stopped altogether. Hutch went home alone after work every night. It was tearing him apart. Finally, Hutch could not stand it anymore.


“You know, Starsk, I have a couple of steaks in my fridge. I thought I would cook them up for us after work. How bout it?”


“I’m busy tonight.” Starsky turned into the parking garage at Parker.


“Can I ask you a question?”


Starsky pulled into a parking spot next to Hutch’s car and turned off the engine. “What?” He looked at Hutch.


“I don’t know how to even say this. I can’t believe I’m asking this.” Hutch shook his head.




“You want a new partner?”


“Hutch… I don’t understand what is going on with you. You think I want a new partner because I don’t want to eat dinner with you?”


“Starsk, you don’t want to do anything with me anymore, including sleep with me. You’re busy every night after work. We don’t even spend weekends together anymore. If you’re sleeping with him, tell me. I’ll move on.”


Starsky was quiet. “Maybe I would be around you if I knew you trusted me.”


“Trust you?!” Hutch yelled. “Hell, you spend your free time with Sam. I can’t tell you when the l... last time we made love.” Hutch was getting upset. His vision blurred with tears. He looked down. “Starsk, just tell me if you still want to be with me.”


“Look, I’ve been thinking. All we do anymore when we are together is argue. Maybe we need to… take a break...”


“That’s all I need to hear.” Hutch opened the door.


“Babe, listen.” Starsky grabbed his arm. “I’ll come tonight, okay?”


“Don’t do this on my account, Starsk. Don’t do this because you feel sorry for me. I don’t need a sympathy fuck right now. I need you.”


Starsky shook his head. “There ya go. Every time I try...”


“Try? Starsky you haven’t tried in about a month. What would you think if I did this to you?”


“Hutch, I… don’t know what is going on with me. I do know I’m not messing around on you. I like Sam. He’s a friend, that’s all.”


“How many times has he brought you home drunk since the night he tried to suck your cock?”


“We were both drunk that night...I can’t believe you...”


“Look. I’m going to give you what you want. A break. I can’t do this anymore.” Hutch opened the door, and then he turned around. “Don’t come tonight. Maybe after your little break you’ll make your decision who you want most.” Hutch got out of the car and got into his. For a moment he thought his partner was going to get out and run over to try to stop him. But he didn’t. Starsky’s car pulled away. Hutch just sat there and watched him leave. His heart was breaking into pieces. He put his head down and a sob escaped.


That same night Hutch met Evan.


Hutch didn’t want to head home. He needed a drink. He headed straight to Huggy’s.


He found a booth in the back of the bar where it was quiet. Huggy approached him. “Hey, aren’t you missing someone?” He smiled. When Huggy saw the look on Hutch’s face; he stopped.“Something happen?”


“Nothing like you’re thinking. Get me a beer.” Hutch didn’t make eye contact.


“It’ll be right up.” Huggy left to go to the bar. He came back with a beer like Hutch requested. He stood there for a moment not saying anything. “Are you okay?” He leaned on the table.


Hutch looked up at his friend. “I’m hanging in there, Hug.”


“Does this have anything to do with his new hang out buddy?”


Hutch stared at him in shock.


“They come in here every now and then. They play pool.” Huggy sighed. “How are things with you two?”


Hutch chuckled sarcastically and took a drink of beer. “Peachy, Hug.”


“Well, that answered that.”


“Get me another one of these.” Hutch finished the beer and pushed the glass toward Huggy.


Huggy left the table with the empty glass.


Hutch was torn up inside. Why didn’t he just let Starsky come over tonight? Maybe if they talked it out... who was he kidding. Huggy brought his beer over and then headed back to the bar where there was a commotion with two of his waitresses. Hutch saw a tall man in a suit approach out of the corner of his eye.


“This seat taken?” He smiled.


Hutch looked up. “Uh…”


“Good. My name is Evan.” He smiled again.


“Ken, Ken Hutchinson. Most people call me Hutch.”


“I think I’ll call you Ken. Okay?”


Hutch smiled, “Okay.”


“Bad day?” Evan raised his glass to his mouth and drank.


Hutch chuckled. “You name it.”


“On the job? Or just life in general.” Evan smiled.


“You ask a lot of questions for just meeting someone for the first time.” Hutch said.


“I don’t meet guys like you all the time.” Evan didn’t break eye contact.


“Look, I’m not looking for a boyfriend.” Hutch got up and threw some money on the table.


Evan got up. “Hey. I’m sorry. I’m told I can be a bit pushy sometimes. I guess that’s why I became a lawyer.” He smiled. “Maybe we can go out sometime. No strings, just dinner.” He handed Hutch his card.


Hutch stared at it. “I got to go.” He left the bar quickly and headed home.


After a shower he sat down on the couch and turned on the television. He fell asleep.




Hutch woke up close to noon the next day. He got up and got dressed. He needed to clear his head, so he decided to take a walk to the diner down the road. When he got there he noticed Starsky’s car parked outside. Maybe his partner was getting lunch also. He could talk it out with him like they were going to do the night before. He straightened his clothes and walked inside. The place was bustling with activity. Starsky was not at the breakfast bar like he always was. Hutch looked around anxious to talk to him. He stopped.


In the corner was Starsky and Sam. Sam was sitting on the same side of the booth as his partner. He was leaning in and laughing. Starsky was laughing and trying to eat at the same time. That was all Hutch needed to see.


He left and started running. He ended up back at Venice Place. He closed the door and leaned against it. He slid down the door and the flood gates opened.


Once he got ahold of himself he got up and went in and washed his face. He walked back into the bedroom and saw the card Evan had given to him. He stared at it. The thought of his partner in bed with Sam nauseated him. He walked to the living room and sat on the couch. He picked up the phone receiver and dialed the number on the card.


Later in the evening he got ready to go with Evan to dinner. He had an hour or so to waste. He decided to go see Starsky.


He got to his apartment. It was dark. Starsky’s car was parked outside. He went up to the door. He wanted to knock, but decided if his partner was sleeping, he would let him sleep. He opened the door and headed into his room. The small light in the hall was on. He could hear soft snoring. He glanced in the bedroom. Starsky and Sam were naked and entangled together on the bed.


Hutch ran out of the apartment. He didn’t remember if he slammed the door or anything. He remembered going home and sitting on the sofa in the dark. A soft knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts.


He got up and opened the door.


“Hi.” Evan had a puzzled look on his face. ”Uh, you always sit in the dark?”


“I think better.” Hutch flipped on the light. “Come in for a minute.” Hutch headed to the bedroom. When he turned around Evan was standing at the bedroom door.


“Everything okay? You look a little pale.” Evan asked with concern.


“I... I’m fine.” Hutch started to walk out of the room and Evan stopped him. Evan was a bit taller and a bit stockier than Hutch. He had sandy colored hair. Hutch was startled by the hand on his shoulder.


“You look like something happened.” He ran his hand up to Hutch’s face. “You’re beautiful. Anyone ever tell you that?”


Hutch gulped. He wanted to run. He wasn’t ready for someone else. He wanted his partner, his love. He wished Starsky would break in and stop all this. The feel of Evan’s hand on his cheek felt so calming. It scared the hell out of him. He looked up into Evan’s eyes. “I... I... can’t.”


“Sure you can. I don’t know who you hold a candle for; but I’m going make you forget him.” Evan kissed Hutch’s cheek. He placed his other hand on his other cheek and pulled him into a soft kiss. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Evan smiled.


“Evan... I... he...” Hutch lost his words as Evan pulled him into a deep kiss. Soon, clothes were coming off and Hutch was being maneuvered to the bed. Evan lay on top of him, kissing and touching him all over. It had been so long since Hutch had been made love to; he lost himself in the secure feeling. Evan started kissing down Hutch’s chest, gently biting his nipples on the way down. Hutch’s cock was fully erect, and he pushed up into Evans body with each kiss. He felt the hot heat on his cock and he pushed up into Evan’s mouth. Evan pulled off and gently lifted Hutch’s legs up and got between them. He rolled on a condom.


Hutch watched mesmerized at the man who was ready to take him. “Evan... I... haven’t been with anyone except… “


“You’re with me right now. That’s all that matters, okay?” Evan felt down and pushed his finger into Hutch’s anus. He then replaced his finger with his cock.


Hutch grunted with the intrusion. He felt tears going down his cheeks. He felt lost and found all at the same time. His emotions were running wild. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted Evan to stop but knowing Starsky was sleeping with Sam made him go on. He let Evan take him and man handle him. He gave into the pain in his heart and he let go.




Hutch sat on the side of the bed. He realized tears were falling from his eyes. That was a year ago and all the memories were still so fresh in his mind. He put in his resignation the next day and left. He told Evan he needed to get away. Over the next few months he and Evan saw each other occasionally, until finally a few months back Evan made the move to where he was currently living.


He thought about Starsky often. He wished things had gone differently. He never did figure out how things had gotten so out of hand. Usually they could talk things out but this time something went horribly wrong. Evan had been good to him. He did everything for him to make him happy. But no matter what he did, something was missing. Hutch knew what it was, but his mind kept telling him to leave it be.


He got up and decided he wasn’t going to go jogging. He picked up the phone to call Evan. There was no answer. He probably was still in his meeting. Hutch decided to go for a walk. He loved the area he lived in. It was homey. He walked to the park and headed for the lake. As he was walking around it, he saw a couple people sitting on a table in a pavilion. They were lovers obviously. He got closer but didn’t want to intrude, so he was going to go around the other way. With him getting close, the lovers heard him and pulled apart. That was when Hutch realized one of the men was Evan. He stood there just staring at him. Then he started to jog away. He heard Evan call after him, but he ignored him. He ran all the way home. He knew what he had to do now; Evan made that decision for him. He headed into the bedroom and opened the closet. He pulled out a suitcase and started to pack.


Evan came through the door. “Hey, Baby, It’s not what it seems. You got to believe...”


“Look, Evan. It’s over.” Hutch continued to pack.


“Where are you going?”


“To where I should have never left.” He continued packing.


Evan grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the bed. “I don’t want to lose you.”


“Evan, I’m not blind. You were making out with that guy in the park. How long has it been going on?”


“I don’t love him like I love you. I’m sorry...” Evan was stopped.


“Hey, don’t be sorry. I’m not that upset. Maybe that’s a sign or something. Look, we’ve only been together for a few months. I don’t think we ever really sealed anything as far as a full relationship.” Hutch said.


Evan looked down. “I tried to make you happy.”


“I know. You did good. I just wasn’t ready for that yet. I should have stopped this a year ago. It’s not your fault, it’s mine.” Hutch kissed him.


“Where are you going?” Evan asked


“I’m going home.” Hutch smiled. He did care for Evan, but not like he did for Starsky. The love he felt for Starsky was embedded in his soul. He needed his partner back, he needed his life back. Soon he was packed and heading down the highway toward Bay City.




Starsky came out of the building squinting up at the midday sun. He put his sunglasses on and headed for his car.


“Mr. Starsky?” Someone called from behind him.


He turned and then smiled. “Hi Mark. I thought you would be out of here hours ago.”


“I had to do some research in the library. Uh, I know this is not supposed to be… Um… would you like to go get a capuchin or something?”


Starsky smiled and looked down. This young guy flirted with him constantly in class. He was a regular teacher’s pet. This came as no surprise to him. “Mark, how old are you?”




“Of all these friends you have, why would you want to go out with me?”Starsky could see a blush form or the boy’s face.


“Because... I thought maybe we could... get to know each other...”


“Stop there.” Starsky sighed. “You’re a great kid and an exceptional student. I enjoy having you in my class. You have a bright future ahead of you. You know as well as I do, this would never work.” Starsky looked up and saw another young man start to come up and stop. He was looking at Mark, and then he looked away. “I think someone wants to talk to you.” He smiled and nodded toward the other guy. “I’ll see you Monday.” He patted Mark on the shoulder. He got a smile in return.


“I’m sorry, Mr. Starsky. I guess I acted kind of... stupid.”


“You’re far from stupid. Let’s just say, ‘you acted impulsive.’” He smiled. “The person you should be looking at is that guy over there.” He smiled. “Have a good weekend.” He walked toward his car. Then glanced back to see Mark and the other guy talking. He smiled. To be young again. His life had changed so drastically the last year.


He thought about Hutch often. He had left so abruptly. He knew it was his fault that he left. He pushed him away. He never really knew why. They started going to that club where he met Sam. Hutch never liked him at all. He did though. Maybe that was one of the reasons he did the things he did. He started out as a friend. He never really had a regular friend other than Hutch. It felt good to get away and have fun sometimes. The job was even getting to him. Which normally if Hutch was jealous of someone, he would always let him know he was his one and only. But the thing with Sam became too much for him. He was bitter at the way Hutch was acting. So he distanced himself from him. He didn’t want to start arguments and he didn’t want to say something he couldn’t take back, so he just stayed away.


Then Hutch quit chasing him. He was saddened by that. He thought maybe he could mend what he did. He hated seeing his partner so sad at work. So one day he decided he was going to go get a couple lunches to go’s and go to Hutch’s place.


He walked into Huggy’s and saw Hutch with another man. He saw Hutch smiling at him and he was smiling back. He felt so angry. He wanted to go and rip the guy in two. But instead he bolted. He headed to where Sam worked. Sam was just getting off and he went with Starsky. They ended up in bed that day. He felt ashamed and hurt. He needed to talk to Hutch.


He went to work the next day and was told he was getting a new partner. Hutch had turned in his resignation. Starsky ran from the squad room and headed for Hutch’s apartment. He went in and saw men putting things in moving boxes. He was told Hutch left and his stuff was being put in storage. They didn’t know where he had gone.


Starsky spent a few weeks trying to find out where he would have moved to, but he had no luck. Finally he just quit trying. He called in for two weeks straight. Finally with his captain’s help, he got a job at the Police Academy, teaching.


Starsky and Sam stopped seeing each other after two months. Five months later, Starsky’s mom passed away. He became a loner. He went to work, and came home. If he went to eat, it was always the same places. He would find himself sitting on the beach for hours. His mind’s eye would see Hutch and him walking down the shoreline at dusk. Them making love on the beach in the dark, with just the moon as their witness.


Starsky got in his car and looked up. Mark waved to him as his friend and him walked away. The car purred to life. He had to smile. He could hear Hutch, ‘Starsky, who’s more important, this car or me’ ‘Don’t make me choose.’ Starsky used to tell him.


He got to his apartment. He walked in and put his briefcase down. He walked over to the big window and put his keys on the table. Looking out he could see the beach a block away. Maybe he would go walking tonight after he got something to eat.


After he showered and dressed in some cotton kakis and a soft oversized white cotton shirt, he slipped on his sandals and headed out the door. He loved where he lived. It was within walking distance of everything he needed.


He went down to where restaurants were by the beach. It was after dinner hour so the crowd had thinned out. He walked over to his usual table by the widow so he had a view of the beach.


“Hi, David.” The waitress greeted.


“Hey, Carrie.”


“Ice tea?”




“You know what you want?” Carrie asked.


“Give me a minute.” He smiled and picked up a menu.


“Okay, be right back.” She left to get his ice tea.


She came back and set the tea down. “I’ll be right back out; I have to help someone with a big order.”


“Take your time, sweetheart, I’m in no hurry.” He looked back down at his menu.




Hutch took the elevator up to the fifth floor. It seemed longer than a year since he had stepped foot into the building he used to call his home away from home. He walked into the squad room. There was one other officer at the desk where he and Starsky used to sit.


“Can I help you?”


“Is Captain Dobey in?” Hutch asked.


“Yeah. Knock.” The officer went back to what he was doing.


He knocked lightly then opened the door.


“Ken!” Dobey got up and went around the desk. He took his hand to shake it, and then pulled him into a hug.


“My first name and a hug.” He smiled.


“I’ve missed you two around here. Edith and the kids miss you too. It’s been way too long.” Dobey looked misty eyed.


“Well, I’m back. Maybe back here, I don’t know yet.”


“Whatever you decide, I’m happy you’re here.”


“Uh, Cap’n? Where’s Starsky?”


Dobey sat down. “Starsky is teaching at the academy now. I wish he was here. After you left he...”


“ He… what?” Hutch got concerned.


“He was not here for two weeks. I went to his apartment. He was a mess. He said with you gone his life was nothing. I thought he was going to hurt himself, but I realized he was just… heartbroken. Look, I don’t know what happened between you two, and it’s none of my business. But it shouldn’t have happened in the first place. Oh, another thing, about six or so months ago, Starsky’s Mom passed away.”


“His mom... died?” Hutch was shocked.


“I thought he was going to relapse or something. He went to New York for the funeral and to take care of things. When he came back I was told he went back to his teaching job.”


“Does he live in the same place?”


“No, he moved into a small apartment closer to the beach.”


“Thanks, Cap’n.” Hutch headed out the door.


“Hutchinson?” Dobey called out. When Hutch popped his head back in the door, he said. “Welcome home, son.” He smiled as one of his best detectives went to find his partner. Life was going to be good. He picked up the phone to dial Edith.


Hutch drove around for a while looking for the bright red and white car. He decided to stop and get something to eat before he continued. He drove down toward the strip by the beach. He remembered certain restaurants Starsky liked to go to.


Hutch parked and turned off his car and grabbed the magazine listings for apartments. He walked into the restaurant and looked around. That was when he spotted Starsky in a back booth by the window. He stopped. He hadn’t expected to find him that soon. He was nervous and anxious all at the same time. He closed his eyes and then he got himself together. When he opened them, he walked closer. He saw a waitress set a drink down then rush back into the kitchen. He walked closer.


Starsky looked relaxed and calm. Hutch felt his mouth go dry as he looked at how the cotton button up shirt made him look exquisite. He got closer and got enough nerve to finally speak.


“Since when did you give up tee-shirts?”


Starsky was still behind the menu. He slowly lowered it revealing his face. He looked like a deer in headlights. “Hutch...” He whispered.


Hutch smiled, “You look great in that.”


Starsky got a small embarrassed grin on his face, “Thanks. You look good too.”


Hutch cleared his throat. “How have you been?”


“Fine. I... uh… I’m doing fine. I… teach now.” Starsky managed to say.


“I heard.” Hutch saw the puzzled look on his face. “I went to Parker today. I saw Dobey and he told me.”


“Oh.” Starsky looked up into the eyes he remembered. Those were the eyes that brought comfort to him when he needed it the most. That was when he realized... they still did. “Why don’t ya sit down?”


Hutch was relieved he was asked to sit. He had felt like an intruder at first, but then it was like a gate opened back up that had been locked for a long time.


The waitress came over. “Sorry about that. It was a big phoned in order. Okay, what did you decide on?”


“Um, I’ll have the roast beef with potatoes and corn.” Starsky handed the menu to Hutch and smiled.


“I’ll have the same.” Hutch smiled and bit his lower lip as he realized Starsky was staring at him.


“Drink?” She asked.


“A glass of milk, please.” Hutch answered.


“Great. It’ll be right up.” She walked away.


“You haven’t changed. Milk?” Starsky smiled.


Hutch smiled back. “Roast beef is still you favorite?”


Starsky laughed. It felt good. “I missed you, ya know.”


“I know.” Hutch replied. “We got a lot to talk about.”


“I know. But not here. My place isn’t far. We could go there. Where are ya staying?”


“Hotel for now. I have a couple of places to look at.” Hutch said.


“So you’re moving back?”


“Is that okay... I mean... I don’t want to... m...make you...”


“That’s probably the best news I’ve heard in a long time.” Starsky looked down. When he looked up he had tears in his eyes. “Hutch, I was an ass...”


Hutch reached across the table and put his hand on Starsky’s. “Shh. Not here, remember? I see you still can’t follow directions.” Hutch grinned. He wanted to hold him so bad.


Starsky wiped a tear that escaped down his cheek. “Yeah. Well I don’t have anyone here to keep me in line.”


“You do now.” Hutch whispered.


Starsky felt warmth go through his whole body.


Their dinners were brought to the table. They ate and chatted about things that happened with their jobs. Hutch told Starsky about the new job he took teaching also, but he felt it was not right for him. When he told Starsky he quit via answering machine to the Dean of the college, Starsky laughed. Hutch had missed hearing that so much.


Starsky, on the other hand, liked teaching. He did admit he missed working on the street as a cop. He told Hutch about the 23 year old that had hit on him earlier that day. Then he told him to basically find someone his own age to play with. Hutch laughed. Starsky felt happier than he had been in a long time.


“I’m sorry about your mom, Starsk. I should have been with you.” Hutch put his hand over Starsky’s.


“S’Okay. She had been sick on and off. Then she got pneumonia. Never really recovered from it. Aunt Rosie said she died in her sleep.” Starsky looked down. “You know? That Friday after the funeral, I got home from my classes and called her house. Three o’clock, just like always. It started to ring and I hung up. I never cried during her funeral. When I hung that phone up I must have cried for three hours.”


“God, Starsk.” Hutch felt so helpless.


“Hey? It’s okay, really. When I called her every Friday, I always told her I loved her. She knew that. I talked to her the day before she died. I was going to make a trip out to see her the next day. She was in the hospital and was mad about them not having marinara sauce for their spaghetti.” He smiled. “They better have that up in heaven, or there’s going to be hell to pay.”


Hutch snorted a laugh. He was glad to be home.




They walked out of the restaurant just as the sun went down.


Hutch glanced over the ocean watching the sun just go beneath the waves. “I missed that.” He sighed, and then looked at Starsky. “I really missed you.” He smiled.


Clearing his throat, Starsky asked, “Wanna take a walk on the beach?”




“Hutch, I never cheated on you until I saw you in Huggy’s with that guy.” Starsky blurted it out.




“Let me finish. It’s hard enough telling you all of this knowing what I put you through.” Starsky could not look his friend in the eye. “I guess I was mad at you for not liking Sam. I stayed away from you on purpose. When you would come find me, I acted like a brat. I think maybe I wanted you to come find me because when you didn’t come I got worried that you hated me. I went into Huggy’s to bring some food back to your apartment so I could make up with you. I saw you with that guy. You were smiling and he touched your hand. I felt... angry. I blamed you for not coming to get me. I thought you gave up on me and was cheating on me. So I went to Sam and let him have me.” Starsky’s voice cracked. He wiped the falling tears away from his cheek with his hand. “I loved you and I pushed you away from me. I hate myself for hurting you so much that you went to someone else...”


Hutch took Starsky in his arms and hugged him tight. He let Starsky get out all the pent up frustrations he had. Hutch realized he was crying too. When Starsky calmed down, Hutch pulled him over to a bench. He pulled him down but kept his love in his arms. “Starsk? Looks like it was both our faults.”


“How can that be? You left. It was my fault you left.”


“No. That guy you saw, his name is Evan. I had just met him that day. I went there to think and he just walked up. I blew him off and went to find you. I wanted to make up with you. So I went to your place and saw you and Sam...” He looked down and remembered that day. He shook the thought off. “I got mad and went and found Evan. Don’t you see, Starsk? I felt guilty I slept with Evan and I couldn’t face you. I was alone most the year until a few months ago when Evan came to where I was. We lived together.” He watched the look on Starsky’s face. “I can’t lie to you. He was good to me but it wasn’t the same. I needed you.”


Starsky took Hutch’s hand. “I saw Sam on and off for a couple months but that didn’t work out. When I was with him I thought about you. I never stopped loving you.” He looked up at Hutch, “When I talked to my mom over the phone that last time, she asked about you. I told her I messed up on us. I thought you hated me. She said, say a prayer and ask God for forgiveness for yourself. Then ask God for a second chance.


After I got back from the funeral I walked on the beach for a while that night. I must have walked three or four miles, just thinking. Then remembered what ma said. So, I prayed for forgiveness. For Him to forgive me for hurting you.” He started to weep. “I said, ‘God, if you bring Hutch back to me, I promise I will never hurt him again as long as I live’. I found myself begging God to bring you back.” He pulled Hutch in his arms and held him tight. “He answered me, Hutch. He gave me a second chance.” Then he pulled away and looked at Hutch very serious. “Uh… I mean, if you want... me still.”


“I never stopped wanting you.” Hutch gave him a soft kiss on the lips. “This time around, I’m not going to let you go.”


“I was stubborn, Hutch. Me being like that caused us to be apart.”


Hutch chuckled. “Starsk, I think we are both guilty of that.”


“This better not be a dream.” Starsky said wiping his face with his shirt.


Hutch laughed.


“You want to come back to my place?” Starsky asked.






Hutch smiled. “I’m going to pick you up tomorrow night for a first date.”


Starsky smiled. “First date?”


“Yep.” He played with the top of Starsky’s shirt that was unbuttoned half way. “Wear something sexy.” He grinned and bent down kissing the furry chest that was exposed. He took his time exploring the hardening nipples. He breathed in Starsky’s scent. He missed that so much. Then he sat back up.


That took Starsky’s breath away. He gulped. “You sure?”


“Absolutely.” He got up and pulled Starsky with him. He drove him home. “I’ll see you at 6. What is your apartment number?”




Hutch pulled him close and kissed him. “I’ll see you then.”


“You sure you don’t want to come up?” Starsky had a gleam in his eyes.


“Goodnight, Gordo.” Hutch looked down biting his lower lip. It was all he could do to not jump out of his car and take his lover up on his offer.


Starsky got out and headed into the building. Hutch went back to the hotel. He had a lot to do before tomorrow night.




Starsky got out of the shower and dried off. He brushed his teeth and then he shaved. He was happy but nervous too. It had been a year since he had seen Hutch and feeling his soft feather touches on his chest had sent him reeling. Being near him woke up so many senses in his body the night before, he was getting light headed. He went to his closet and pulled out a pair of dark blue silk dress pants. He chose a light blue dress shirt. He started to pull on the pants when he stopped. He smiled. The he slipped off his underwear. He slipped on his pants. After he was dressed he checked himself in the mirror. He made sure his hair was brushed and unbuttoned the shirt halfway. He grabbed the suit jacket and headed out to the living room. The doorbell rang.


Starsky opened the door. “You’re still prompt.”


“I’m amazed you’re ready.” Hutch smiled then leaned in and gave him a soft kiss.


Starsky was taking in the sight before him. Hutch had a tan color loose fitting shirt with dark brown dress pants. “You look terrific.”


“I was going to say the same about you.” Hutch smiled.


“This is nice, Starsk.” Hutch glanced around the apartment. Then he walked to the window. Looking out he could see the beach in the distance. He smiled.


Starsky walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Hutch’s waist. “The view is better with you standing there like that.” Starsky was moving his hands down below Hutch’s belt.


Hutch stopped him. “Now just what do you think you’re doing?” He tried to keep a grin suppressed.


Starsky pulled back. “Sorry.”


Hutch turned around and took him in his arms. “I was joking, babe. I want us to have a nice evening getting to know each other again.” He kissed him and felt his lover’s lips part. He plunged his tongue into his mouth and explored it. He got ahold of himself and pulled back. “There will be plenty of time for some more of that later.”


“I’m sorry...again.” He said with an embarrassed smile on his face.


“You don’t have to be sorry for wanting to love me. I just have some... plans for you tonight. Later, I promise.” He kissed Starsky again then pulled back. “Are you ready?”


“Yeah.” He grabbed his suit jacket and carried it with him. “Hey, I meant to ask you about something last night. When did you get rid of that heap you were driving and finally get something with class?”


“When mine broke down. The engine was shot.”


Starsky climbed in the passenger seat of Hutch’s car. “Imagine that.” He said with a grin.


“So you approve?”


“Approve? I never thought I’d see the day.” He laughed.


Hutch gave him a sideways glance while keeping his eyes on the road. A grin emerged on his face.


He pulled out of the parking lot and headed down to the beach. Hutch could not believe that he had his true love in the car. A few days ago he thought he would never be with Starsky ever again. But, here they were, together and happy. He pulled on the stretch of road that led up the coast. The sun was just setting.


“I didn’t know they had a hotel way out like this.”


Hutch smiled.


“Where is it at?” Starsky asked


“A person would think after a whole year someone would learn how to be patient.”


“I used to love when you...” Starsky stopped.


“Go on, Starsk.”


Starsky took a deep breath. “I loved it when you surprised me with things. Like the time you rented that house in Beverly Hills. Or the time you got a yacht for that weekend. You always did things for me. I was so...”


Hutch pulled off the road and stopped the car. He put it in park and turned to his lover. “Starsk, what happened a year ago is over. It’s a new beginning for us. I love you and I will always do things for you because you make me happy to be alive. I should have been here months ago.” He touched his partner’s face. “I love you.” He kissed him and pulled him close.


Starsky pulled Hutch in for another kiss. “I should have come looking for you. You know how many times I wanted to do that? I thought you didn’t want me anymore, that I screwed up everything...”


“It was us that screwed up. Our pride got in the way of our love. That is never going to happen again, ever, Okay?”


Starsky nodded.


Hutch pulled back and put the car in drive. “We need to get where we’re going or I’m going to take you in the front seat.” He grinned and continued driving up the road.


Starsky grinned. “And that’s a bad thing?”


“I have a more… comfortable spot.”


About ten minutes later they arrived at their destination. Hutch pulled into the driveway to a house on the beach. The house was dark except for a small light by the front door. Hutch got out.


Starsky got out and looked around. Then he followed Hutch to the front door.


Hutch unlocked the door and went in. Starsky noticed very familiar things furnishing the home. He saw a colored afghan over the back of the couch. He walked over and touched it. Then he looked over at a small room off the kitchen. It was a greenhouse full of plants. He smiled. “You rented this?”


“It’s a rent to own option. I like the latter of the two.” Hutch walked to the kitchen.


Starsky followed. The smell was amazing. “Something smells great.”


“Why don’t you get the wine out of the refrigerator and open it.” He handed Starsky a corkscrew.


As Starsky was opening the bottle, Hutch put two wine glasses down. “You can take that out on the deck if you want.” Hutch opened a sliding glass door and walked out. He lit the candles in the middle of a set table. “I’ll be back with dinner.” Hutch was gone for a few minutes. He returned with a tray that had two plates and a few bowls on it. He set the plates down then two bowls of salad. Then the bowl of rolls. “Dinner is served.” He motioned for Starsky to sit down.


Starsky sat. “This is incredible.”


Hutch held his glass up, “To our future.”


Starsky held his glass up and tapped Hutch’s. “To us.”


They both took a drink.


The next hour and a half was spent eating and talking. They talked about everything. The relationships when they were apart, the feelings they had during those rocky times. They talked about what happened between them and how they might have prevented certain things from happening. They talked about when they both were on the force and the people they encountered on the street and in the station. In the end they were laughing and bantering back and forth. After dinner was over, Hutch cleared the table and was cleaning up in the kitchen. He placed a cake on the counter.


“Are you sure I can’t help you with anything?” Starsky leaned against the kitchen counter.


“Nope, almost done.” Hutch put the last few dishes in the dish washer and turned it on. He glanced up at Starsky realizing he was staring at him. He looked down as Hutch looked up. He smiled. “Why don’t you got sit on the couch in there and I’ll bring dessert in.”


Starsky went in and sat down. He glanced around the room, taking in all the old familiar things. He noticed several pictures on a table in the corner of the room. He got up and went over to them. One was of Hutch and him standing arm and arm on the top of the Torino. Another was of him standing outside of the gym they worked out at. Then there was one of the BBQ’s from work, where Hutch had given him a kiss on the cheek.


“Like them?”


Starsky was startled out of his thoughts. He smiled at Hutch. “Yeah. Brings back a lot of good memories.”


“I’m glad.” Hutch smiled


“Wow. Did you make this?”


Hutch handed him a plate. It was a triple layer chocolate cake. “Well... no. I was going to lie and say I did.” He smiled. “I got it at that bakery by where I use to live.”


“It looks terrific.” Starsky took a big fork full in his mouth.


Hutch put a big glass of milk on the coffee table in front of where Starsky sat down.


When they were done Hutch stood up and walked over to the stereo. He turned it on a soft love song. He walked back over to Starsky and held out his hand. “Dance?”


Starsky smiled. He got up and went into Hutch’s arms. He looked up into his eyes.


Hutch bent down and kissed him. Then pulled him close so Starsky’s head was on his shoulder.


They rocked slowly and sweetly not saying a word, but knowing how each felt. Hutch’s arms pulling his love in so close he could feel his heart beat. And Starsky holding on to the one person who had brought the most joy in his life and not ever wanting to ever let go again. They were enjoying being in each other’s arms so much, they both realized at the same time the song was over and they were dancing without music.


Hutch kissed his lover again. He walked over and turned out the light in the living room. The candles from the table were still lit. There was also a candle lit on the coffee table.


Starsky could see the soft glow on the side of Hutch’s face. It sent chills down his body.


“Starsk, take off your clothes.”


Starsky gulped. He started to slowly unbutton his shirt.


Hutch watched his lover undress. He noticed when Starsky unzipped his pants and pushed them down, he wasn’t wearing underwear. He smiled slyly. “No underwear, Starsk? Were you anticipating something?”


Starsky looked down and grinned. “Well, you never know.”


“I missed seeing you like this.” Hutch looked his lover up and down. “You’re still so beautiful.”


Starsky did not take his eyes off Hutch.


“Touch yourself.” Hutch licked his lip.


That sent shock waves down to Starsky’s groin. He reached down and took his cock in his hand.


“Use both hands.” Hutch said.


Starsky obeyed. He was stroking his cock and massaging his balls.


Hutch stripped slow and made sure Starsky was watching while he did it. When he was naked, he walked over to Starsky as he was pleasuring himself. He got behind him. “I love watching you do that.” He whispered in his ear. He got a soft moan from Starsky. He got down behind his lover and kissed each cheek, then parted them. He stuck his tongue into the puckered opening and licked and played with it.


Starsky legs almost buckled. He moaned and kept pumping his very hard, dripping cock.


Hutch crooned as he rimmed his lover. Then he stopped and stood up. He got behind Starsky and his cock rubbed against Starsky’s anus. Hutch pushed but just let it rub against it, not enter it. He pulled Starsky close. “Like that, lover?”


“Oh, God. Hutch, please fuck me. Please...”


“Soon, babe. Very soon. Now, stop what you’re doing. I want you to get on your knees in front of me and suck me.”


Starsky was on the ground and sucking Hutch so fast that it took Hutch’s breath away.


Starsky always loved pleasuring Hutch. He loved tasting his lover and having Hutch come inside him when he was doing it. He was almost in tears thinking of how long it had been since they had made love and how he wanted to feel Hutch love him once again.


Hutch gently pulled him off and up to him. He kissed him and pulled him to the bedroom. He pulled him over and onto the bed. He kissed and rubbed his furry chest. He nipped and sucked the hard nubs. Then he moved his way up to Starsky’s mouth. He kissed him. When Starsky’s mouth parted he plunged his tongue in and explored every part and sucked in Starsky’s tongue. Then he pulled off and sucked and nipped his neck. He sucked one spot making a red mark. He moved back down until he got between his legs. He pushed Starsky’s legs up and licked the furry sacks and went lower and rimmed his lover again. He got up on his knees between Starsky’s legs, then reached over and grabbed a tube of lube from the bed table. He squeezed some on his fingers and then pushed them gently into Starsky’s anus and worked them around.


Starsky moaned when Hutch’s fingers went up in him. He pushed down onto them wanting more.


Hutch pulled his fingers out and replaced them with his cock. He pushed in until he was fully seated. He bent over and kissed his lover. “I’ve been waiting a long time for this. I love you, Starsk. I love you so much.” He kissed him again. “Keep your eyes on me, lover, I want to see your face when you come.”


“I’ll never hurt you again, ever. I missed you so much.” Starsky let a soft sob out. “Please love me. Love me, babe.”


“Forever.” Hutch pulled out and pushed in hard. He continued to pump in and out. He reached down and grabbed his lover’s cock and started moving up and down with the rhythm of his pumping. Starsky was moaning and crying out as he hit his prostate over and over. He felt the first spasms grip his cock as he felt a warm surge of his lover’s essence coat his hand.


Starsky cried out Hutch’s name.


Hutch was on the edge. He bent over and put his hands beneath his lover’s ass and pulled him to him as he pushed in as far as he could possibly go. His orgasm hit and he squeezed his lover’s ass as the spasms hit one after another. He moaned and cried out.


As they both came down off the high, Hutch felt his cock slide out of his lover. He rolled off and moved up into Starsky’s arms. They both were tired and sated. There were no words exchanged. There were no words needed. Just holding and kissing. They finally fell asleep in each other’s arms.




Starsky woke up and stretched. He lay there for a few minutes with his eyes closed. He could hear the waves and sea gulls. He opened his eyes when he remembered the night before. It made him smile. He looked over at the empty side of the bed. He yawned and put his hands behind his head and closed his eyes again. A new beginning. He liked the sound of that. It felt so good being in Hutch’s arms again, he was afraid he was going to wake up and it would have been a dream. Starsky took a deep breath and lay there listening to the outside sounds.


Hutch put the finishing touches on the tray. He placed two toasted bagels and fruit around the center plate. He had coffee and two juice glasses also. He looked it over and then realized he forgot the cream cheese and jelly. How many times he dreamed of fixing Starsky breakfast once again. There would be many more to come. They both screwed up and didn’t realize they were doing it to themselves. That was all in the past now. New beginnings. He smiled, picked up the tray and headed into the bedroom. The sight before him made him stop at the door and stare at his lover. Starsky was sprawled out on the bed. His hands were behind his head and the only thing covering his naked body was a sheet draped over his abdomen. Hutch could see a bulge under that sheet. He smiled and walked toward the bed. He set the tray down on the bed table.


The rattling of the cups made Starsky open his eyes. He glanced at the tray then back up to Hutch. “Morning, beautiful.”


“Morning.” Hutch climbed over to Starsky and lay on top of him. He kissed him deeply. “How did you sleep?”


“Perfect. That was all your fault.” Starsky smiled.


“My fault, huh?”


“Yeah.” Starsky could not take his eyes off his lover. His eyes got watery and a single tear fell down his cheek.


“Don’t cry, Starsk.”


“Sorry. I c... can’t believe this. I missed… this.” He sniffed.


“So did I. We don’t have to worry about that anymore. I’m never letting you go again, no matter what.”


Starsky pulled Hutch into a kiss, and then hugged him close. “Me neither.” He whispered.


“Hey, you got me crying now.” Hutch chuckled and wiped his eyes. “Why don’t we eat? The bagels are probably cold by now. Hopefully the coffee’s hot.”


Starsky pushed his very awake cock into Hutch’s. “You’re hot.” As Starsky was kissing him he was pushing down the pajama bottoms Hutch had on. “Help me with this, Blondie. You have way too much on.”


Hutch pushed the pants down and kicked them off onto the ground. He was so happy he was trembling. It felt like they had never been apart.


Starsky was kissing and nipping Hutch’s neck. He loved the smell of Hutch’s skin and hair. He breathed it in as he kissed him. He then rolled his lover over onto his back and was now on top of him. Then he got up on his knees and reached over and grabbed the tube on the bed table. He squeezed out some on his finger and pushed it deep into Hutch’s anus.


Hutch gasped. He pushed down onto Starsky’s hand.


Starsky smiled. “I’ve been wanting this. You feel so good... so tight.” He bent over and covered Hutch’s lips with his. He sucked them in waiting for Hutch to part his lips, which he did.

Hutch was having sensory overload. He couldn’t speak.


Starsky sat up and pulled his fingers out. He took the excess lube on his fingers and rubbed it on his own cock. He kept a steady pace, rubbing it up and down. He saw Hutch was watching his hand intently. He smiled. “Like what you see, Blondie?”


Hutch looked up at him. “Starsk... I need you… n.. .now... please... f... fuck me... please?” He was panting and going from Starsky’s eyes to his hand which was still pleasuring him.


Starsky licked his lips. “I need to fuck you so bad. I have waited for this for so long. Feeling you in me was the best thing in the world. Now it’s my turn.” He pushed his cock against the tight opening. He pushed slow and steady, listening to his lover’s labored breathing. He was all the way in when he bent down and kissed Hutch once again. “How’s that feel, lover?”


“Oh, God... Starsk. Now, please, now.” Hutch was frantically pushing up.


Starsky pulled out almost all the way. Then he plunged in, and then pulled out again. He pushed in with more force. He started pushing and pulling harder. He was dizzy with the feeling of his lover beneath him. All these months without his blond, and now here he was. He reached between them and started pumping Hutch’s leaking cock.


Hutch was moaning and babbling. He felt like he was getting pounded into the mattress, but the feeling was nothing but pure passion. He was on edge and he knew he was going to come. He wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist and pulled him down for a kiss.


Starsky felt the first spasms tightening around his cock. Then he felt Hutch’s cock jerk and the smooth white strings shot out and over his chest.


Hutch screamed Starsky’s name about the same time the orgasm hit Starsky.


Starsky yelled and pushed with every spasm his body had. He pushed until he could no longer move. He fell forward onto his lover’s chest. He felt the wetness and lapped some up. Then he kissed his lover deeply, plunging his tongue into Hutch’s mouth. When his cock slid out, he rolled over and lay on his back, panting. He then got up and went into the bathroom. He brought out a washcloth and washed Hutch’s stomach off. He threw the cloth into the hamper. Then he got back into bed.


Hutch rolled on his side and cuddled against his lover. “Well, I guess the coffee is cold.”


“I think we compensated for that. The bed was hot... or at least the occupants.” Starsky grinned.


Hutch chuckled. “What am I gonna do with you?”


Starsky got serious. “Anything you want. Just never let me go.”


“You got my word on that.”




“With my life.” Hutch kissed him and took him in his arms.






“This isn’t a dream, is it?”


“Actually, Starsk, it’s a dream come true.” Hutch grinned and kissed his lover. “I was thinking about going back to Parker.”


Starsky looked at his startled. “Parker? You’re gonna be a cop again?”


“No... well... sort of. IA has a supervisor position open, I thought I would apply for it.” Hutch felt Starsky tense up. “What’s the matter, babe?”


“Police work, a cop?”


“Starsk, a supervisor.”


Starsky sighed, “I never thought you would ever go back there... uh… I mean...”


“Without you?”


Starsky gave an embarrassed smile. “Yeah, maybe. I liked being a cop. I liked being your partner for that matter. But... I...”


“Starsk, I don’t want to be on the street. We paid our dues there already. I think we seen enough hospital emergency rooms to last a life time. Teaching just isn’t for me, Starsk. And; I would never make you quit your teaching job to go back on the street. I know you love it by the way you talk about it. And I know you love your students. They’re like your kids. I couldn’t take that away from you. I won’t be on the street. Even if I did, I wouldn’t go there without my partner.” He smiled and kissed him. “Starsk, I want to live a long and happy life and grow old with you, right here in our beach house.”


Starsky lay there for a moment, then sat up on his elbow. “Our beach house?”


Hutch smiled.”Yes, ours.”


“You bought this?”


Hutch didn’t respond. He kept a sweet smile on his face watching Starsky get emotional.


“You got this for... us? Really?”


“Really. For you. I love you, Starsk. I wanted to start new.”


Starsky looked down. He tried to keep from crying. “You know? This is all I do these days.”


“What’s that?” Hutch put his arm around his waist and pulled him close.


“Cry. All I’ve been doing is crying. You probably think I’m… I...”


“Oh, babe.” Hutch rolled on his back and pulled Starsky close to his side. He kissed his forehead. “When I think of you I see someone who can be as tough as they come but also someone with a kind loving heart. A macho guy who isn’t afraid to show his feelings, especially to the one he loves. Starsk? I want you to be honest and open with me. I don’t want you ever to be afraid of asking me anything or telling me anything. You can cry on me any time you want. I’ll always be here to kiss your tears away.” He gave him a soft kiss.


Starsky sniffed, “Sounds like a song.”


Hutch chuckled. “Maybe I’ll write one for you.”


“I’d like that.” Starsky snuggled closer to his lover. “Hutch?”


Hutch took a deep breath and smiled, “Hmm?”


“I’m hungry.”


Hutch laughed. “How about I go out and fix us some eggs and bacon and pancakes?”


Starsky smiled. “That sounds terrific.”


Hutch pulled his face up to his and kissed him deeply. He would do anything for this man. Just having him in his arms was heaven itself. “Why don’t we take a shower first.”


Starsky got a smirk on his face.


“On second thought, why don’t we wait till after breakfast? If we do it now, we won’t be up till this afternoon.” Hutch smiled and smacked Starsky on the butt.


“Ow!” He yelled as Hutch jumped out of bed and grabbed his pajama bottoms. He ran out to the kitchen. “You’re still good at ruining all my fun, you know?” He could hear Hutch laughing in the other room. Starsky looked around the room. He felt so content and safe. He felt like he was... home. That made him smile. He went over to the dresser and opened a couple of drawers until he found another pair of Hutch’s pajama pants and put them on. Then he headed out to their kitchen.






“Starsk? Hurry up, we’re going to be late.” Hutch was looking in the mirror straightening his tie.


Starsky emerged from the room in a dark suit. He was trying to tie his tie as he walked, then gave up. Hutch went over and did it for him. “I can’t believe Cal is getting married.”


“I know. He just graduated college and got into that law firm. Now he’s marrying his high school sweetheart. I remember when he was just a little guy.”


Starsky smiled. “Jenny is a great girl. Harold and Edith love her a lot.” When Hutch finished with his tie, Starsky kissed him. “Thank you”


“You’re welcome. Oh, I got to get the card on my night stand. I don’t want to forget it.” Hutch went into the bedroom. He started to reach for the card and noticed a small wrapped box next to it. It had a big bow and a small envelope with his name on it. He opened it. It read, Hutch, I would be lost without you. I thank God every day for bringing you back to me. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I love you so much. Marry me and make me the happiest man in the world. Hutch stood there and folded the paper up. He took the box and peeled off the paper. He opened it and there were two etched gold rings in it.


“Sorry I didn’t get on my knees. Didn’t want to get the suit dirty.” Starsky stood at the bedroom door.


Hutch turned around. He had tears running down his face. “Starsk...” He went over to his lover. “Of course I’ll marry you.” He kissed him.


Starsky made a dramatic sigh of relief. “Thank God. I thought I would have to drag you down the aisle.” He smiled. “I love you, Blintz”


“I love you too, Starsk. It would be an honor to be your husband.”


“It would be an honor to have you as mine, too.” Starsky smiled. “I wish my mom could be here to see this. Maybe she is, in a way. She loved you a lot.”


“I know. I loved her too. She was always a mom to me, even before we got together.” Hutch kissed him.


Starsky looked at his watch. “Hey, we need to get going. You got the card?”


“Oh, yeah.” Hutch grabbed it off the table. “Almost forgot.”


They both left the beach house and got in the Torino and drove away.


Hutch rolled the window down and breathed in the spring air. He smiled and thought about the year they had been apart. It seemed so long ago, almost like it hadn’t even happened. He reached over and put his hand on Starsky’s thigh. They used to protect each other on the streets from harm and they still do that, but in a different way. They protect each other’s hearts now. Hutch listened to the song that was playing on the radio. You take my Breath away, by Queen. That was truly their song.


They both started to sing along with it as they drove.


Look into my eyes and you’ll see

I’m the only one

You’ve captured my love

Stolen my heart

Changed my life.

Every time you make a move

You destroy my mind

And the way you touch

I lose control and shiver deep inside

You take my breath away.


You can reduce me to tears

With a single sigh

Every breath that you take

Any sound that you make

Is a whisper in my ear

I could give up all my life for just one kiss

I would surely die

If you dismiss me from your love

You take my breath away.


So please don’t go

Don’t leave me here all by myself

I get ever so lonely from time to time

I will find you

Anywhere you go, I’ll be right behind you

Right until the ends of the earth

I’ll get no sleep till I find you to tell you

That you just take my breath away.