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Harry's Secret

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Harry visibly gulped. His eyebrows were pulled together, wrinkles creases appearing on his pale forehead. His back was still against the wall with brownish-yellow damp spots on it. He couldn't stop his torso trembling in fear and his knees wobbling, about to give in any second.


"So..." Louis stopped mid-sentence to rake his eyes over Harry's features, he raised his hand up, ignored the flinch Harry made when he did so, then he gently placed his hand on Harry's cheek, neglected the cringe Harry made once again and brushed his thumb over the smooth skin of Harry's cheekbone. The corner of Louis's lips twitched up, almost forming a smile but the suppressed grin never reached his eyes. Harry was extremely afraid of Louis. He shielded himself away from Louis's intense stare by ducking his head down, locking gaze onto the ground.


"So, Harry, tell me why your job as a bartender acquires you to have sex toys?" Louis asked, more like interrogated Harry. "I-I don't k-know what you're talking a-about." Harry tried to make it a matter-of-fact but he ended up stuttering and shaking even more violently now. Louis inhaled deeply, causing a shiver to dart through his body, sending fear to every single corner of his mind and body.


"Then tell me, Harry." Louis stopped again to once pull himself together to stop himself from punching the wall. He knew when he threw tantrums, it scares others, especially Harry.


Harry, who used to be the only one that could calm him down, was now the reason of his anger.


How could Harry do this to him? He himself knew that he had a bad reputation, ever since high school, that he sleeps around a lot, never stays faithful but he had always been loyal to Harry. Not once did he cheat on him in any way; he hadn't flirted with others unless it was for business. How could Harry do this to him? It was unbelievable! Harry had always been compassionate, friendly, and one thing he could rely on was Harry was loyal. He got really nervous when people other than Louis flirted with him, asked him out or anything, really. Whenever that happened, even after they got married, he got really jumpy and he apologised over and over whenever THAT happened.


Louis got really jealous but he still found it really cute when Harry got all apologetic.


Louis just didn't understand why Harry did this to him. He had treated him with nothing but out of love, Harry was happy, right? Of course he was Louis, don't be stupid. But was he? Harry had been distant lately and... And maybe it was because... They had financially problems? W-Was Harry a gold digger? No, he's not like that. He has a heart of gold, he wouldn't care for riches. Maybe because of the financial problem Louis hasn't been treating Harry like he should have.


"I-I j-just bought th-the.... The Umm... The butt plug t-to use it with you." There still wasn't any emotions plastered on Louis's face. Then Louis slowly lifted his hand, showing Harry the butt plug and asking," yeah, well then why is it used, Harry?"


Harry could feel sweat prickle down the gap between the shoulder blades on his back. He could feel moist forming slightly in his forehead and perspiration began to seep into his palms. His heart was beating so loud in his ribcage he was fretting that Louis would hear the drum of his heartbeat.


"Oh, um... Th-That's because I u-use it sometimes on myself, plunging i-it into m-myself while thinking of y-you." A deep shade of scarlet was brushed onto Harry's cheeks. Louis thought it was because he was being shy, as usual but Harry knew that he it was because he was lying, but more importantly, he was embarrassed. Because. What he said wasn't a whole lie, when men... Penetrated him with the butt plug or with their fingers or with their members, of anything, really, he always thought of Louis doing that to him. Of course none of them could even compare to Louis but thinking of Louis doing those things to him makes it easier somehow.


After a moment of silence, the only sources of sound was heard in the room was Harry's ragged breathing, his frantic heartbeat and the silent ticking clock hanging on the the wall.


Harry's gaze was locked onto the floor before him, too frightened to move or even breathe, really. His hands were behind his back, palm facing the wall while his lower back leaned into the backside of his hands, knuckles poking him in the back.


Finally, Louis had some response. A smirk grew on his face. He raised an eyebrow towards Harry, sending him a questioning look. The anger abandoning Louis's features, once again tucked away somewhere in Louis's heart. When Harry saw the colours returning to Louis's face, he knew that he was safe. Scary Louis was gone.


Harry felt really bad for lying to Louis, guilt once again rushing through his veins. He found out that that happens a lot lately, him just being guilty a lot whenever he was around Louis. But he knew that Louis didn't deserve this, he deserved someone who could be honest with him, make him feel special and unique because that's what he is. He knew that Louis should be happy with his life. He knew that Louis should enjoy his life instead of being stuck with Harry, who couldn't even be loyal to his partner for life.


But he was selfish.


He was selfish that he wanted Louis to be his, and his only.


Even though he knew that he wasn't best for Louis.


But all the thoughts that was swarming in his head all stopped when he felt a sudden neediness over him. He slid down against the wall, his bottom hitting the ground and he hissed slightly. Then tears began to sting behind his green orbs. They shoved their way out against all of Harry's wishes and rolled down freely onto his flushed cheeks. More and more trails of tears was beginning to form. The tears dropped onto his jacket, his chest, the cold, hard floor. Soon, he stopped holding back the sobs by biting down harshly on his own tongue and he began to whimper. He reached out his arms and made grabby hands for Louis.


Louis, who was fuming with anger just seconds ago, came to his aid. He engulfed Harry into a warm hug and Harry automatically buried his face into the crook of Louis's neck, inhaling the deep scent of vanilla that screamed Louis. Soon his whole body began to shake once again, sobs began wrecking through his body, he became unable to control his crying. Louis combed his fingers through Harry's locks, feeling the smooth of his silky curls. He pressed kisses into Harry's hair while Harry just sobbed quietly in his arms. "I'm sorry, Harry. I'm sorry for questioning you. I'm sorry for doubting you. I love you baby, I love you so much." Harry just clung his arms around Louis like Louis was his dear life.


Louis could feel Harry's brown ringlets tickling the stubbles on his chin. "Did I scare you, baby boy?" Louis asked whilst brushing the pad of his thumb across the skin underneath his eyes, just above his cheekbone. Even though Harry is 25, Louis still called him baby boy. Louis started calling Harry baby boy since Harry was 15, when they started dating.


Harry just nodded bashfully. Harry tried to shield himself away from Louis, too shy to face Louis.


Louis's heart almost crumbled at Harry's words. He somehow knew that angry Louis is really scary but he never thought it would frighten Harry.


Harry curled himself into Louis's warm embrace, twisting into a ball. "I love you baby boy. I'm sorry I scared you, forgive me?" Harry just folded himself further into Louis, barely nodding his head.


Louis bowed his head down a little, his lips touching the soft, pale skin covering Harry's right collarbone, kissing it softly there. Harry squealed a little, didn't expecting Louis to do that. Louis ran his hand up Harry's thigh, leaving a trail of tingles behind. Louis didn't think he got a proper response so he started trailing his kisses up, kissing Harry's neck lightly, nibbling on the soft spot right underneath Harry's ear, the spot he had memorised so well over the years, the spot that made Harry's knees buckle, that could make Harry squirm. He sucked on the spot, a hickey starting to form. A small moan slipped passed Harry's lips. Louis smirked against Harry's skin, still working on the love bite that was turning purple.


Louis' snaked his arm around Harry whilst slipping the other arm underneath Harry's bottom and lifting him up, Harry immediately wrapped his legs around Louis's torso, arms swathed round Louis's neck. Louis carried Harry to the bed while slowly unbuttoning and pulling down the zipper of Harry's jeans. Despite Harry being taller than him, Louis could easily lift Harry up with only one arm. It had always been that way, Harry being carried to bed while Louis kissed his neck. Regardless of Harry saying that he could walk when he was carried, he secretly loved it. He loved being taken care of, of having Louis's strong arms around him, to protect him, to shield him, to make him feel safe.

***^*** WARNING: Stop reading if you don't like smut. ***^***

Louis carefully laid Harry on the bed, lifted a leg to straddle Harry, pulled away slightly from his neck to work on a different spot, grazing his teeth over the skin before sucking onto it. His hand was cupping Harry's member, rubbing his member through his jeans. A smirk making its way to his lips as he felt Harry hard underneath his palm.


Harry was moaning and writhing beneath him. "L-Louis... Help me get off-"


Louis didn't need to be told twice. He slowly removed Harry's skinny jeans, sliding them off both his and Harry's shirts as well. He then detached his lips from Harry's neck, earning a whimper of desperation from Harry. He leaned down, pressing his thin, pink lips against Harry's plumped ones, brushing them together momentarily before snogging him. He licked his way into Harry's mouth, Harry slipping his tongue into Louis's mouth, battling for dominance only to have Louis winning after seconds. Harry's hand started to touch around the bed, as if he was searching for something. Louis instantly knew what Harry was doing. He pulled his hand away from Harry's cheek and trailed his fingers down Harry's arm, interlocking their fingers together.


Even in such a state, both of them incredibly turned on and frantically trying to remove each other's clothing, they were still completely in love with each other.


Harry used his other hand to tug at Louis's trousers, his fingers fumbling trying to yank Louis's trousers off. Louis placed his hand on Harry's, sweeping his finger over the backside of his hand and helps him with his pants.


Harry bucked his hips upwards, trying to get friction by grating his member to Louis's.


Louis ground down, eliciting a high pitched moan from Harry. Louis pulled away from the kiss, unlinking their fingers to pull down Harry's boxers. Louis placed both his hands on Harry's hips. To hold him down. Louis leaned down and blew lightly on the head of Harry's member. He then placed a kiss to the head feeling the pre-come on his lips. He then licked the underside of Harry's cock, Harry mewled and jerked up to the contact. He enveloped Harry around his mouth, Harry gasped loudly at the feeling, at the warmth of Louis's mouth around him. Then he started bobbing his head, hollowing his cheeks out when bobbing his head. Harry was thrashing about on the bed, squirming for Louis and trying to jerk himself into Louis's mouth, if it wasn't for Louis holding him down, Harry would be thrusting into Louis mouth with no self control. Harry reached down and ran his fingers through Louis's feathery hair that was starting to stick to Louis's damp forehead, beads of perspiration forming in it. Louis hummed around his cock, sending chills and vibrations down Harry's member. Harry bit his lower lip to stop himself from screaming out. Louis's eyes travelled to Harry's, blue meeting green. Through Harry's long, thick eyelashes, he could see the love brimming for him in Louis's cerulean blue orbs.


And just for that second, he felt guilty, regretting his decision to always going to random people's houses and sleeping with them. How could he do this to Louis? Louis, when in an immensely turned on state, still tries to make sure Harry was enjoying himself, still taking care of Harry and his needs.


But the feeling of guilt that was rushing through his veins was immediately gone when Louis took a kitten nibble over the slit. That was all it took to feel the familiar feeling in e pit of Harry's stomach, rapidly building its way up, his cock getting even more heavy now, his head lolling back onto the fluffy pillow, his throat getting dry from panting, his eyes rolling back as he came into Louis's mouth with a high pitched moan of Louis's name. Sweat was dribbling its way down Harry's chest, his hands slowly released the sheets on the bed, his once white knuckles tardily changing back to normal. His eyes were squeezed shut but still making grabby hands for Louis.


"I need you, I need-" Louis didn't need Harry to finish that sentence before climbing up and grazing his lips tenderly over Harry's. Louis used one hand to cup Harry's cheek whilst the other opening the drawer next to them, fishing for a condom. Harry stopped his moments and whispered into Louis's mouth,"I-I want to feel you inside me." Louis nodded and stopped fishing for the condom. Harry pulled down Louis's boxers in one swift motion, caressing Louis member tenderly in the process, causing Louis to groan low in his throat.


Louis continued to kiss Harry tenderly whilst popping open the lube, squeezing a dollop portion amount of the lubricate over his fingers. Adding a tongue into Harry's mouth as a distraction as the tip of his index finger circled around the ring of his hole before pushing in, Harry wriggling his bum to get used to the feeling, accidentally skimming Louis's finger over his prostate and letting out a moan.


"More." Harry whispered, feeling breathless.


Louis slithered another finger into his hole, feeling resistance as his knuckles had trouble pushing in. Harry let out a breathy groan as Louis started to rut his groin on Harry's thigh. Harry couldn't wait for Louis's third finger for him prepping himself. "Lou-Louis I-I'm ready."


Louis pulled out his fingers, making Harry whine in protest. But he immediately stopped as he felt Louis against his hole. "You ready?" Louis asked, voice soft and tender. Harry nodded, feeling loved and protected.


Louis pushed in in one swift motion, causing Harry to hiss in both pain and pleasure. Louis could feel Harry's cock pressing against the abs on his lower abdomen. Harry knew Louis was fully hard and it was taking a lot of self control for Louis not to pound himself into Harry but the pain just stung too much.


"It-It's okay. You can move." But Louis remained his post.


Panic washed over Harry's features even though he was in a lot of pain, the feeling of numbness and pricks were masked by consternation. His insecurity of fear of abandonment took over him, afraid that Louis was disgusted by him and didn't want anything to do with him anymore. It truly was riveting how Harry could change from feeling loved unconditionally to fear of abandonment in a matter of seconds.


"W-Why are you not moving?" Does Louis not love him anymore? That must be it. Louis was disgusted, Harry must be revolting in Louis's eyes. But...but without Louis, Harry's life didn't have any meaning. Ten years of his life, since he had been fifteen, his world spun around Louis. He couldn't operate without Louis, no, what would he do? He loves Louis with all his heart and he doesn't know what to do without Louis. Louis was the reason for his breathing, Louis was his happiness, was the reason of his smile. What can he do now? It was as if he was drifting, like a ship without an anchor on the ferocious sea.


He couldn't halt the tears from stinging in his eyes. Before he knew it, he sniffled as tears cascaded down his face.


"Hey, hey baby boy, why are you crying?" Louis asked, still inside Harry, his voice soft. He began planting kisses all over Harry's face to sooth him. He never wanted Harry to feel sad, he wanted him to always be happy, be full of glee and mirth, a ball of joy.


Harry clung onto Louis, both of them still fully hard, Harry's arms snaked around Louis. "I'm sorry Louis. I'm sorry. Please don't leave me. I love you. I don't know what to so without you. I'm sorry." Louis ran his fingers through Harry's mop of curls, bewilderment written all over his face. "What are you talking about, Harry? I love you, I'll never leave you. I love you." Harry was shaking by now. Even though Louis was painfully hard, he thought about pulling out of him. But he thought that wouldn't be a good idea because Harry's fear of abandonment was acting up, if he pulled out now, Harry would feel unloved and he would panic. "I thought-I thought because you didn't move, y-you thought I was disgusting and y-you didn't want anything to do with me." Harry admitted, his voice getting softer and softer, embarrassed, arms letting go of Louis and wrapping them around his stomach. Louis knew that Harry was very insecure, so he untangled Harry's arms that was around his abdomen and put his own arms around Harry, wrapping them around his lanky torso, leaning in and skimming his lips against Harry's neck, trailing kisses up to Harry's lips.


"I love you." Kiss. "I will never leave you." Kiss. "You're the light of my life." Kiss. "You're beautiful and I love you." Kiss. "I just-" Kiss. "Didn't want to hurt you. So I didn't move because I knew you weren't ready." Kiss. "I love you and I want you to enjoy this."


Louis continued kissing Harry, long and sweet, pouring all of himself and his love for Harry into the kiss, trying to show that Harry's was beautiful, not at all repellent.


Suddenly, Harry broke the kiss, leaning his forehead against Louis's. "I'm ready. Make love to me, Louis. I'm ready." Louis didn't need to be told twice before pulling out and pushing himself back into Harry.


Louis entangled their fingers together, he could feel Harry squeezing his hand in both pleasure and pain. He continued at a slow pace, but to Harry, it was torturous. "Faster, Louis. Please."


And with that, Louis started pounding into Harry. The sound of skin slapping skin bouncing off the walls, echoing throughout the room. Louis reattached their lips, feeling Harry biting his lower lip, making him feel hot all over. He angled himself in another way and thrusted in, hitting Harry's prostrate straight on. Harry was screaming Louis name and moaning in ecstasy, breaking away from the kiss. Harry ground his cock against Louis's stomach, feeling in heaven, his head rolling back onto the pillow, his back arching off the bed and toes curling in pleasure.


Not soon after, Louis's movement became sloppy and with one swift, hard thrust straight into Harry's prostate, Harry came, screamed in bliss and was panting hard. Louis was out of breath too and Harry was determined to have Louis cum inside him, filling him up with his seed. He started sucking on Louis's neck,creating a love bite and moaning Louis's name because he knew that it really turned Louis on.


Louis's thrusts began to become sloppier and sloppier. And with one last lethargic thrust, Louis came inside him, with Harry's name rolling off his tongue before collapsing beside Harry, he didn't want to crush his fragile boyfriend. He slowly pulled out, wrapped his arms around Harry's torso, Harry's back to his chest, throwing the duvet over them and kissing Harry's lips one last time before drifting off to sleep, their fingers still interlocking. Harry was still leaking, but he didn't find it disgusting or awful. No, he found it very intimate and it was a symbol, declaration of love.


And in that moment, Harry has never felt more loved and safe in Louis's arms.