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Baby, I love you

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I took a couple of weeks off from Kinnetik, letting Teddy and Cynthia in charge. I took these days to put everything in order: spend more time with my Sonny Boy, check everything with the doctors and prepare the new loft for when Sunshine is going to co.

Combining my old one with the one above was a great idea. On the bottom level I had space for a spacious living room, a section for a dinning "room", just next to the kitchen- completely equipped for Justin to cook to his heart contempt. The best was that everything was out in the open, no walls dividing each section. Just my style!

Upstairs, I had a small place to work, next to the open library. Small because I won't work at home, this place was to spend with my family. Just for when I had to do something urgent, that really needed my attention. Our, Justin's and mine, bedroom was spacious with its own bathroom and walk in closet- much to my delight! Nearby, there was Gus' room. I had to make a hole in one of the walls, so it could be connected to the bathroom next to it.

One of my favorite parts of my first home was the nicknamed by me: "wall of fame". It was the wall of the stairs, where I placed Justin's paintings. From the two artworks I was obsessed with, from my Sunshine's show, I used the one that showed Pittsburgh and New York for the waiting room in Kinnetik and the one from the light post is in the center of the "Wall of Fame".

Then, I took my time dividing the projects Justin sent me, for Pratt that his teachers deemed good enough to be presented at the art show at the end of the year- only the best students were chosen, and my lover had his own place since year one! The choice of which painting would stay at home and which go to decorate Kinnetik was easy, the ones that portray the gang would stay at the loft and the rest in Kinnetik.

In a more personal matter, the gang was taken, my change much better than a few months ago. If I was surprised when Mel made me snap out of my moping and win Justin back, I couldn't believe when it was she the one that talk some sense into Lindsay. Nowadays I hear no complaints from her about the lack of spare key for my place.

Mickey was each day taking more responsibilities and making us all proud of his progress. He sold the comic I gave for his birthday once, the bidding war over it was 'epic'- or at least that's what he said- which left him with a lot of money to start his own comic shop. But he didn't leave things like they used to be in Buzzy's shop, he asked Ted and me for help to bust his shop. He's not doing that bad, for a comic shop that just started. For once, he is not demanding me to do the job for him and even though he whines when things don't go his way, his shrink is rationalizing with him- something we all thought impossible- and convincing him not to give up and try one more time.

Also, the sessions with the shrink were good for Mickey. He no longer comes to my place unnoticed and doesn't call me as much as before. For any person the times he calls me would seem obsessive, but in comparison to Mickey level he was much better. He even stood up to Debbie and told her to back off a bit, that we were already adults and that she had to stop treating us as if we were still fourteen years old.

That sent the whole Liberty Avenue in chaos, rumors everywhere you went. It also almost splits our family, especially when Debbie started blaming me-as always- about Michael's change of character. Luckily, that police officer, she started seeing made her see things differently and calmed things down a bit.

However, things stirred up again when Mickey started dating that professor that was positive. Debbie didn't like it at all and made a big fuss, but we all knew that it wasn't prejudiced. She was just afraid of losing her son like she lost her brother, it took a while- and Mother Taylor's help- but she finally understood that she was going to lose him anyways if she continued this way. She still hasn't accepted Ben 100%, but when she found out that he came with a son- a grandchild for her- she started to warm up to him.

It seems that the professor adopted a street boy who was abused by his mother and pimped to men, for money for her drugs. If you asked me that Hunter was lucky to have landed with both of them. As a gift for them, I promised them to pay for Hunter's sessions with Alex. Something that I wished someone would have done for me, it would have resolved a lot of problems early on. It seems that they hadn't thought of that and thanked me, after trying to convince me that it wasn't necessary. But this was something I wanted to do, and a help to their relationship. Because this time there was a chance for it to work, for Mickey to finally fall in love with someone else.

"This place looks amazing!" a voice exclaimed, snapping me out of my train of thoughts.

I turned around rapidly and locked gazes with my breathtaking lover. Before I knew it, he had leaped into my arms and was kissing me with all his might. One thing led to the other and we ended up having sex all over the new loft, it also gave me the chance to show him around. Talk about killing two birds with one stone.

"It's good to be back" he murmured against my chest, once we finally stopped breeding like bunnies and were laying on our bed.

"It's good to have you back" I replied.

"You really changed, before you would have rather cut your tongue than being caught saying that" he told... no, praised me.

"You too. Now you are more independent and can stand on your own two feet, without depending on me or Mother Taylor" I praised back, caressing the sun pendant that he was wearing.

"I only take it off when I shower or am painting" he told me, when he noticed my fixation on the gift I had given him.

"Good" I replied satisfied and a bit smug, if I had to be honest.

"Brian... about your... what did the doctors say?" my usually confident Sunshine was stuttering, unsure of himself and how to act in this situation.

"We'll talk about it later" I told him firmly, leaving no place for objection "Let's enjoy this now"

"Yes, sir, yes" he joked back, lamely, but earned a chuckle from me "We are back together and that's all it matters"

If he only knew how right he was. I thought to myself, happy, but at the same time sad. If he only knew...

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Not many knew about my condition. Only Justin, because he was my partner. Mother Taylor, since I couldn't keep this from my mother figure. The munchers, cause they had to be able to explain things to Gus if things ended up going south. I never thought that I would see the day Smelly Mel would cry for me, but then again cancer changes not only the person suffering it but the ones surrounding him as well. Ted, because he had to know why I was taking such a long vacation and left him in charge. The rest thought that I travelled to Ibiza with Sunshine, to celebrate us being back together. In reality, we were stuck in a hospital for two weeks while I was having chemo and one of my balls chop off.



I was happy this way, I don't like people not hovering over me. The ones I cared the most were by my side and that's all I needed, I am quite a simple man at least, in that aspect. Of course,, things weren't easy. Justin and I had a lot of fights, me trying to push him away in fear of him leaving cause I wasn't perfect anymore- I was a freak fro goodness sake! I only have one ball now! It didn't matter that the fake one was almost an identical replica. Sunshine is screaming at me for going back to my bad habits and demanding me to let him help me.



When that problem was resolved another one popped up. Mrs. Hobbs didn't like the idea that Justin broke the agreement and participated in a student exchange with PIFA for the first semester of his third year. He tried to talk with Pratt and get them to take his scholarship away. She didn't even back down when explained that Sunshine's partner, that being me, had cancer. If anything, it disgusted her, being a horrible human being must run in the blood. Things didn't work out for her as she expected, Jennifer went all Berserker on her. She made sure that the whole club would know what she had tried to do after what her son did, Mrs. Hobbs was shunned away by her peers, not wanting to be associated with someone whose son is a killer- or at least, tried to be one. Also, Pratt university refused her request, cause Justin's boss had many more contacts over there than her.



Another win for us but with our luck, of course a new problem would arise.



"Sunshine, what the fuck is wrong with you?"� I demanded when I couldn't continue standing his sour expression.


He's been moping the whole day, bordering in anger from time to time. Now he was serving me my soup, while I rested on bed.



"You want to know what the fuck is wrong with me? You lied! You once again risked what we had to protect fucking Michael!"� He yelled at me, dread consumed me when I noticed where this was coming from "Do you know how angry I was with Daphne when you told me that she gave you the information to how to contact me? I didn't talk to her for fucking weeks!"� He continued his rant, now he was pacing next to the bed "I forgave her, cause she is my best friend and things ended up working for us. I forgot about all of this, until yesterday when Daphne questioned me why around a year ago I had stopped talking to her for a while. She had no idea about the little story you had told me. Why? Why do you always put him first?!" 



"I don't well, I used to but not anymore" I corrected myself under his incredulous expression "He changed Justin. He is having help with his obsession over me, and trying to respect you as my partner. When he gave me the way to contact you, I lied to you because I didn't want to break that fragile bond we were forming cause I knew how angry you still were with Mickey. Then I just forgot all about it. But I never tried to deceive you, for his sake, more for mine than anything else"� I explained rapidly, trying to convince him.



"Changed? The 'I AM HIS BEST FRIEND AND KNOW BETTER' Michael changed? What a joke?! That man child will never change, he doesn't want to change. He can't even admit he is wrong!" He laughed humourlessly, before sighing "I am going for a walk"�



"Sunshine!" I called out for him, this scene reminded me of when he left me all those months ago.



"Relax, I'm coming back. I just want to clear my head, otherwise we would only end up fighting against each other"� he replied, annoyed, before crossing through the door.



His words didn't calm me down, if anything, they just broke my heart all over again.



Why do we always end up hurting each other? I thought, as I nodded off.



When I woke up, I was in the arms of the man I love and I couldn't be happier.



"I'm sorry, Bri. I took off, leaving you all alone, and before that I acted like an idiot. I love you, Brian Kinney and I do trust you. If you believe Michael changed then, I am ready to give him a second chance" he whispered, placing butterfly kisses all over my neck.



"You are the best, Sunshine. And don't worry, if it turns out that he hasn't changed I'll choose you over him every time"� I promised him and myself.

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After our fight over the secret I kept, things calmed down. The only trouble we faced during our time together was over the cancer treatment I faced and the news that Mother Taylor bagged a hot man that is my age. Justin could not accept it, but after reasoning with him that our age difference is the same he relented. He was not happy at all either, but he stopped bothering his mom about it. When Tucker started coming to the family dinners, Sunshine finally saw how serious they were and accepted them. However, that took months.

In which Mickey and my lover patched things up. They bonded over Rage, a comic they created together, based one the gang's problems- both romantic and of life itself. Things were still rocky, but with the shrink and Ben's help Michael was getting better. Slowly, but still a progress. It helped that Sunshine was a very kind person and is not one to hold to grudges.

While being here, Justin interned in Kinnetik and helped with a bunch of campaigns- especially Brown's, who absolutely loved Sunshine. But who was I to blame her? My Justin is just that loveable. Other than that, Sunshine only focused in school and me. He said not to worry that he can continue working on strengthening his career in the art world when he gets back to New York. That his priority was me, and until I don't get better I'll be his main focus.

I'll never admit it out loud, no matter how much I've changed, his cheesy, lesbian words warmed my heart and gave the strength to pull through this whole cancer mess. Knowing that he he has a show, in that boutique gallery in New York, for when he goes back, made me feel less guilty about him not focusing on his art while being here.

Things were good, things were perfect, especially when the girls told Justin about his rights on Gus, as a parting gift the day before he left for New York. Mother Taylor cried in joy at the news of being a grandmother. As I already knew there was no surprise for me, like for the rest of the gang. However, when Mel announced that thanks to todays technology she is able to get pregnant and wants Sunshine to be the father of her baby... let's simply say I spat what I was drinking all over the dining table at Debbie's.

Of course, the girls assured Justin that there was no rush and that he could give them the response once he graduates. We both had a long talk that night, we were a couple and this doesn't only affect him, but us as well. We didn't reach a verdict that night, but we still had a year and a half to think this through. So, we didn't rush things for once and decided to take our time. The possibility of having another child wouldn't go away, if Justin decides to wait longer. If the munchers can't wait for him, I could easily pay a surrogate.

But we still have time before that... for now I'll enjoy my health and count the days until summer vacations to be back at my Sunshine's side.

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Things worked out wonderfully for us at the end. The only side effect that I suffered from my cancer treatment was that my stomach couldn't handle food for a while, it took me at least a year until I could eat like a normal person. Thankfully, I had Jen with me, the whole time. She came during the weekends with various tapers for the week, it seems that Sunshine told her about my disastrous abilities in the kitchen. Other than that I have a plastic ball attached to my body now. I still feel insecure about that, not that I'll ever admit it out loud. On the other hand, it helped the fact that the only man I'd ever want to see my balls from now on still thinks I'm perfectly imperfect.  

Talking about Sunshine, he stayed in New York for another year and a half. However, this time he kept on visiting us during each vacation he had. I flew Gus with me for  some surprise visits as well, and for every art show he participated in. He gained some kind of reputation in the art world, for being the young rising star of the moment and for his art full of sensuality. Not to mention, that his main topic is sexuality. Not just sex, but also about being true to yourself. About showing the other side of the world, no more hetero shit. Gays, pans, bis, trans, that world that people turn a blind eye to, right into their snobby faces. Not only the good things, but also all the margination that we suffer. My Justin knows how to throw a punch and make a stand. I couldn't be prouder.

However, a decision I do not support is the choice he made of coming back to Pittsburgh after graduating. Lindsay convinced me that he was better off in New York to conquer the art world. Especially after how great he was doing as a student, now as an artist, he could rule in a short time. At least, that's what she said. Of course, that only caused a big fight with a furious Justin, who couldn't understand why everyone thinks they can mangle in our lives. At the end, he announced that New York is not leaving and the art world will still be there a decade from here. But the chance of watching our children grow and be with me, is a one life time chance. Also, he asked me what he would paint when his muse is in Pittsburgh. That made me unbelievably happy, we ended up making the decision of moving to New York when Kinnetik was ready to take the Big Apple.  

Talking about children, yes children, as in two. Justin gave the girls his consent about sharing another baby between our two families. As long as, the deal was offered: the new baby would stay during the weekends with us, alongside with Gus. Sunshine would maintain his rights to his child, and Lindsay and I to be it's legal guardian. Also, winter vacations were spent in our home and a month of their summer vacations would be ours. Like this the girls will have them the majority of the year, without us feeling left out. The munchers surprisingly didn't make much of a fuss and gladly accepted. We planned it so the baby would come soon after Justin returned from New York. It is a girl, our little princess, our Moon Beam. We couldn't even more excited, both of our families won the lottery. One child of each sex, and all of us at least related to one by blood. Not that the latter really mattered, we all loved both of them equally, even if there is no blood relation at all.

Things couldn't be better for our family. Everything was perfect. Especially now that both of our remaining bachelors- Emmy Lou and Teddy- were showing signs of finding a partner to settle down with. I never thought I would be happy for something like that, the Stud of Liberty Avenue was all for being forever single and not getting attached to nothing. Now I was a family man and couldn't be happier... Justin really did a number on me and I wouldn't change a thing.

My Sunshine was taken from me once, but it was what we needed to grow and go back to the place where we belong, right into each other's arms.