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Unanswerable Questions

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Logan, alone in his room, wanted to scream. He hated himself for leaving Virgil behind, hated himself for leaving in the first place. That was what happened when he let emotions rule him.

Being a part of Thomas, he could watch what was happening in Patton’s room if he wanted to.

They didn’t seem too worried about him. Far more worried about Patton. To be fair, Logan himself was incredibly worried about Patton. He hated how he had snapped at Patton, but his pride wouldn’t let him admit it. And Patton, the kindhearted person that he was, definitely deserved far more worry than the dismissive Logan. Still, it really did sting a little.

After a few moments, he decided that he really didn’t want to watch.

He collapsed onto the bed. He still was present in the conversation, as a part of Thomas he couldn’t disappear. Or, apparently he could, (at least Virgil could) but leaving Thomas entirely without logic was not a wise idea. So, he kept pulling the few strings he needed to in order to keep Thomas sane.

Logan’s hand reached out to the grey fabric object near him. He ran his fingers over the soft material, and smiled bittersweetly. Roman’s creativity let him conjure whatever he wanted, but it didn’t come that easily to Logan. Graphs and cards, sure. Sentimental objects, not so much. He had an entire pile of reject hoodies he’d made while searching for the perfect one. It was exhausting, but Patton was worth it.

Logically.

Logically, an act of goodwill towards the side would make them closer and make Thomas function better. Yes. Everything was entirely logical, he assured himself of that.

He could feel their conversation coming to a close, and quickly ran through what to say to them. Strange feelings alighted inside of him, and he tried to ignore them.

In his gut, he felt stones and heaviness. A sadness.

Why didn’t they come to check and see if you were alright?

Because I am alright.

Are you?

Logan had no answer to his own mind’s question.

In his chest, a burning, fiery pang.

They can solve Thomas’ problems without you.

I still had a say. They still need me.

Did you? Do they?

Again, no answer.

He wiped at his eyes, which were inexplicably starting to tear up. Possibly allergies. Definitely allergies. Then, he rose into Thomas’ world and waited for them to show up.

Finally, they did.

He had to admit, Patton’s excitement upon seeing him made Logan’s heart race.

He gave Patton the sweatshirt, nervously hoping Patton would like it. The overjoyed squeal was all the evidence he needed.

When Roman conjured up puppies, Logan noticed how happy Patton was.

You can’t conjure up puppies.

I could if I tried hard enough.

But Roman didn’t have to try.

Sometimes, he hated his own mind.

Those are making Patton even happier than the sweatshirt.

He still appreciates my gift.

Does he?

Once again, Logan could not come up with an answer, and the questions swam in his brain, plaguing him long into the night.

Why didn’t they come to check and see if you were alright?

Are you?  

Did you? Do they?

Does he?

 

Do they…

 

 

Do they even care?