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if this is my last night with you

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it’s a regular tuesday night, and maybe that’s why it hurts even more.

usually they’d be eating chinese takeout on the couch, yelling jeopardy answers at the television.

usually they’d be at kara’s watching whatever show they were in the middle of bingeing.

usually they’d be at the bar ganging up on winn and buying a round of drinks for their friends, always close enough to be touching.

usually they’d be happy.

instead, they sit in silence, with a sadness so dense hanging above their heads it feels as though it’s sucking the light out of the usually bright apartment.

‘so is this it?’ maggie asks, her voice filled with the heartache alex feels in her own chest.

‘i don’t know,’ alex whispers. ‘i don’t know.’

time may pass, but they don’t feel it. the sorrow that settles in their bones is enough to slow time in its tracks, enough to make it feel as though they’re to spend eternity feeling the despair that is now a part of them.

‘i guess… i should go,’ maggie says, unsure. she’s been here before- at the end - but she never thought she’d find an end with alex. alex had always felt like forever, she’d always felt like finally maggie had somebody who wanted her for her everything.

maybe maggie just wasn’t built to find long lasting happiness.

‘don’t go,’ alex replies. ‘please.’

‘i’ll have to go eventually. that’s how these things usually happen.’

‘not yet.’ maggie can hear the plea in alex’s voice, the unspoken yearnings, the unshed tears. i thought we had forever. i want more time. i need you.

but who ever truly gets what they want?

maggie stands slowly, purposefully, and reaches out a hand to alex. holding alex’s hand used to feel like home, but in this moment it feels like holding a pinless grenade – when she lets it fall, it’ll destroy her.

maggie leads alex to the bed they’ve shared for months. they lie on top of the blankets, facing each other. they lie so close together that maggie can feel alex’s small breaths, she can smell the lingering perfume, she can see the tears that pool and threaten to fall. she reaches up and lays her palm against alex’s cheek. alex flinches at the action.

‘i don’t want to do this,’ alex confesses, ‘i don’t know if i can do this.’

‘you can do anything,’ maggie smiles sadly, ‘you’re alex danvers.’. she wishes more than anything that they could stay here forever, that their problems would go away and let them be happy. but for now, this is what needed to happen. at least, that’s what maggie was telling herself. this needed to happen for now, but maybe one day they’d find each other once again. maybe one day they’d get the life they always wanted.

but for now all they could do was lie together one last time and imagine a world where that was enough.