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Hazuki exhaled a large cloud of smoke as he leaned against the side of the bar, the brick giving him a sense of stability that he just couldn't muster on his own right now. He was being a coward standing out here alone, not to mention a huge shit to his friends. They, of course, had no idea what was going on with him, why he needed to vacate the bar so suddenly. They only knew that one minute they were having a conversation about their next fishing trip, and the next Hazuki was mumbling something about needed a smoke and high tailing it for the exit before they could even respond. Asanao and Akinori would forgive him, they may not have even noticed he was gone if a fishing expedition was being discussed. Closing his eyes, Hazuki, took another deep drag from his cigarette and let his mind wander.

FLASHBACK

Taka was having another one of his Friday night parties and Hazuki had arrived a little late due to work. He made a beeline for the kitchen where he knew the beer would be, eager to shake off the stress of the week and get to relaxing with his friends. "Look what the cat dragged in. You finally decided to show your face." Hazuki couldn't help the besotted smile that broke out when he laid eyes on Kiyoharu. "Hey... I was tied up at work." Kiyoharu handed him a much needed beer, grinning mischievously. "That sounds fun." Hazuki, in the process of drinking, sputtered a bit. "Wha... being at work? Not really, no." Kiyoharu shook his head, turning to leave the kitchen. "No, the being tied up part." Hazuki swallowed thickly as he watched him leave, shaking his head at himself for being such an obvious idiot.

As the party continued on, Hazuki's eyes would inevitably find Kiyoharu. It wasn't as if he was trying, the older man just drew him naturally. He had an effervescent quality that Hazuki just couldn't resist. Everything about Kiyoharu was attractive to him... from the way he wore his long auburn hair and clothing to those large pouty lips. Kiyoharu had sex appeal and he had it in droves, it was only natural to notice such an attractive person. "You want me to take a picture for you? That way you'll have something to drool over at home too." Hazuki eyed his ex closely as he sat down next to him on the couch. "How much have you had to drink, Yusuke?" Yusuke scoffed, lifting his beef for a long pull. "Enough for me to find your behavior more amusing than pathetic." Hazuki exhaled loudly at that. "Let me get you an uber home, alright?" Yusuke stood up, bumping into the coffee table as he did, practically falling over. "You never did thank me." Hazuki stood to steady him on his feet. "What for?" Yusuke glanced over at Kiyoharu who was looking in their direction. "I'm the one who asked him to do that shoot with you for me. If it wasn't for that..." Hazuki frowned, knowing where this was going. "I've told you a million times, there's never been anything going on between Kiyoharu and me." Yusuke raised a brow, favoring him with one of his pointed looks. "But you'd like there to be."

Kiyoharu found Hazuki out on the deck not long after Yusuke's departure. "Everything alright?" Hazuki nodded with a slight shrug of his shoulders. "Yeah... I mean... it is pretty much what it is." Kiyoharu took a drink, looking pensive. "I had heard that you two broke up." Hazuki pulled out his cigarettes, offering one to the older man. "We did, months ago. Yusuke likes to use me as his punching bag when he's had a few or is feeling down." Kiyoharu exhaled a cloud of smoke. "That sucks. He seemed like such a sweet guy when we did that shoot together." Hazuki added his own cloud of smoke into the air with a deep sigh. "He is a sweet guy. I think he's just temperamental... you know because he's an artist." Kiyoharu raised a brow in skepticism. "That may be, but it doesn't give him the right to shit all over you." Hazuki chuckled at that. "No, it doesn't and thanks." Kiyoharu stared over at him. "What for?" Hazuki felt butterflies in his stomach as he looked back at Kiyoharu, butterflies like the one he knew was on the older man's chest. "For making me feel like it's not my fault. I've been feeling pretty guilty since Yusuke and I broke up."

Kiyoharu stubbed out his cigarette, watching him intently. "Did you do something that you should feel guilty about?" Hazuki examined the older man's face, those eyes, those lips... he got lost in looking at the beauty of him." Kiyoharu smiled, rapping him on the head. "Zu... hello." Hazuki blinked rapidly, clearing his head. "Sorry... I must have... I guess I spaced out. What was the... did you just call me Zu?" Kiyoharu laughed, throwing his head back so that his hat almost fell off his head. "I did, but maybe spaceman is more accurate." Hazuki's face broke out into a pleased smile. "No, Zu is... I like it." Kiyoharu raised both brows in anticipation. "So... did you or didn't you?" Hazuki shook his head, red faced and confused. "Did I what?" Kiyoharu wrapped an arm around his shoulder, drawing Hazuki closer with a fond smile. "Did you do something that you should feel guilty about?" Hazuki, blushing profusely now, managed to shake his head. "No, we were drifting apart for a while. It was just one of those things." Kiyoharu angled his head so that they were almost nose to nose. "So then you're alright... with the breakup I mean?" Hazuki forced himself to breathe as normally as possible. "Yeah... fine." Kiyoharu reached out with his free hand and ran his fingers through Hazuki's hair. "Glad to hear it." When those soft, full lips connected with his, Hazuki wanted to pinch himself to see if he was dreaming. Then Kiyoharu pressed his tongue inside of his mouth and Hazuki knew it was real. No fantasy or dream could ever equal the feeling of the older man's wet muscle plundering inside his mouth, slowly laying him bare for all the world to see. Kiyoharu kissed him senseless until he was gasping for air and even then Hazuki was willing to drown just to continue to taste him upon his lips. He would rather suffocate in Kiyoharu's grasp than breath freely ever again.

Over the course of the next few weeks, the two met up again several times. They were casual interactions at best... dinners, drinks, just hanging out. Nothing was ever said about the nature of their relationship, no words exchanged about what they were doing. They would always arrive separately, leaving in the same manner but only after Kiyoharu would press a kiss or twenty to Hazuki's awaiting lips. When they sat side by side at a bar, Kiyoharu's hand would inevitably reach for Hazuki's thigh if only to brush it once or twice, just enough to make the younger man giddy with amorous affection which never quite came to fruition at night's end. Hazuki had it bad, he realized after their fourth outing. Watching Kiyoharu returning from the restroom. "What? Did I forget to zip my fly? What are you staring at like that?" Hazuki tried to shrug it off, earsplitting grin firmly in place. "No, it's nothing. I just... I enjoy spending time with you." Kiyoharu lifted his brows in a cheeky manner. "Me too, I enjoy spending time with me too." Hazuki laughed, the older man never ceased to amuse or amaze him. "That's... would you like me to leave so you can be alone?" Kiyoharu chuckled, throwing some money down onto the bar. "With myself? Not necessary... I'll have some quality alone time later. Ready to go?" Hazuki stood, tossing some bills onto the bar top as well. "Yeah... you must be anxious to get home to yourself." Kiyoharu rolled his eyes, heading for the door. "Can you blame me?" Hazuki followed along behind. His only thought being, no... he couldn't blame him at all. Jesus, he was sounding like a lovesick kid, even to himself.

Yusuke opened the door to his loft/studio then turned without a word, leaving Hazuki to enter on his own. "Hello? Yusuke? Where..." The photographer stuck his head out from his studio door. "I'm with a client." Hazuki rocked awkwardly on the balls of his feet, wondering why his ex would call him insisting that he had to come over now if he was working. Yusuke called out to him again. "Just hang out, I'll be finished soon." Hazuki sighed, looking around the familiar loft absentmindedly. His eyes landed on the photos that Yusuke had taken of Kiyoharu and himself some months back and he began sifting through them, pleased with the results. "Daddy." Hazuki was startled by the small girl's sudden appearance at his side. He smiled down at her, she was incredibly cute. "No sweetheart..." She pointed her finger at the photograph in his hands, right at Kiyoharu. "Daddy." Hazuki's eyes widened, this was Kiyoharu's daughter. Yusuke emerged with a pretty woman at his side. "There she is. Kumiko, your sister is waiting to do the last shot." Kumiko rushed over to her mother, pointing at Hazuki when she got there. "That man knows daddy." The woman merely nodded at him before ushering the girl back into the studio. Yusuke stood a moment longer to make sure the impact was made before turning on his heel to hurry after his clients.

END FLASHBACK

Standing there in the night air, thinking back, Hazuki felt even more miserable than he did that day in Yusuke's loft. He was a lot of things, but a home wrecker was definitely not one of them. He'd made every effort after that fateful encounter to avoid Kiyoharu, no matter how much he wanted otherwise. Tonight, when he'd caught sight of the older man across the crowded bar, he'd done the first thing he could think of... run with his tail between his legs. "Hey Zu... you're a hard man to pin down lately." Apparently, he hadn't run far enough... probably because deep down he wanted to be caught. "Kiyoharu... hey. I've been... busy... you know... work has been..." Kiyoharu made himself at home leaning on his side against the wall, not going anywhere anytime soon. "Mariko told me she saw you at Yusuke's. Is that why you've been avoiding me?" Hazuki tried to look surprised, failing miserably. "I haven't been..." Kiyoharu raised a brow, daring him to finish that sentence. Hazuki turned to face him, mirroring the older man's posture. "Alright, you're right. I have been avoiding you. You're married, Kiyoharu. You have kids. I can't continue to do whatever it is we we’re doing."

Kiyoharu placed a hand on Hazuki's arm, looking at him with an earnest expression. "I do have kids, but I'm not married. Not anymore. Mariko and I divorced last year. It's been difficult on the girls but we're trying to stay friendly for their sake." Hazuki just stared at him, a mixture of shock and relief crossing his face. "Oh... I thought... why didn't you ever mention it?" Kiyoharu turned so that his back was pressed to the wall, letting out a deep sigh. "I was planning on telling you the next time we went out. I wanted to make sure... my first priority always has to be my girls. No matter how interested I am in someone, they have to come first." Hazuki pulled out his pack of cigarettes, offering one to Kiyoharu before taking one himself. "How interested are you?" Kiyoharu blew out a stream of smoke, smiling slightly as he looked over at Hazuki. "Pretty damn interested. I have been since we did that shoot for Yusuke." Hazuki's brows raised in surprise, faint blush staining his cheeks. "You have? I never knew." Kiyoharu nodded, chuckling slightly. "Yeah... Yusuke made it pretty clear to me that you two were together so I never made any advances, but you caught my eye right away." Hazuki shook his head, chuckling as well. "Yusuke was convinced that you and I were involved behind his back." Now Kiyoharu's brows raised in surprise. "Why would he think that? I never said a word to him about you." Hazuki let out another deep chuckle. "You didn't have to. He could tell how I felt and that was enough to make him suspicious."

Kiyoharu leaned in closer to him so that they were shoulder to shoulder. "I miss spending time with you." Hazuki let his face crinkle into a pleased smile, joking. "But you've had so much more time with yourself." Kiyoharu echoed his joking tone as he pulled back slightly, allowing a hand to rest loosely on the younger man's back. "That's true, but even so, I was more fun when you were around." Hazuki tossed his all but forgotten cigarette onto the sidewalk. "I'm flattered. I make you even more fun. How is that possible?" Kiyoharu followed suit, tossing his own cigarette onto the sidewalk as he drifted back closer to Hazuki once again. "Easy... I try harder around you." Hazuki angled his head to bring their lips together in a deep kiss. "You don't have to." Kiyoharu smiled, breathless against Hazuki's mouth. "Neither do you."