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Zappis' ''unfortunate evening''

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Zappis’ eyes were about to melt from their sockets when he tried to concentrate on reading the health studies book’s intense storyline. Tomorrow might be the world’s most shittiest exam ever because the healt teacher would have a test on everything the book had in it. Why had he chosen the living room of all places to read for the exam. There were five, drunk, adult men trying to play Gran Turismo. Why?? Keimo snapped at everyone because he was always losing. Retris laughed at Keimo with Proto. Fisu told some sort of an exotic story to Rauski who tried to thrust a straw into his beer can, god knows why.  Zappis slid down the sofa’s edge onto the floor and wailed in agony but no one seemed to give any interest to him and just continued to loudly ‘’play’’ the game.

‘’Hey, Zappis, your turn!’’ Retris yelled joyously grinning over the cheers when the game ended. Keimo got up with an angry grunt and walked off to the fridge. Rauski was half on Fisu’s lap when they continued their story session about a cashier’s pick-up lines for Fisu. Zappis looked at them with a bad eye and painstakingly got up. Proto handed him the controller and they started to play. Keimo blundered over into the toilet while cursing vigorously. Zappis slowly got into the mood when Proto and Retris made their dry jokes and Fisu told his amazing story about Rauski’s high school crushes.

The fridge started to empty, beer cans started to emerge in the bathroom and the decibels started to rise. Keimo stumbled back to the living room finally relaxed and grabbed himself chips from a bowl on Rauski’s lap. Zappis completely forgot about the health studies exam and the party started to get out of hand when Proto was already doing moon walk into the kitchen.

‘’WE DON’T HAVE ANY BEER ANYMORE!!’’ the man yelled from the fridge. Everyone ran into the doorway and thought for a solution. The boys decided to play rock-paper-scissors to decide who would go and make a beer-run.

And of course, the job was blessed on Zappis. He bitterly walked the apartment building’s stairs down and into the street. The market’s cashier looked at the swaying young man a bit sceptically but let the boy buy a crate of beer anyway. Zappis said his thanks for the lady behind the register but managed to explode his wallet onto the market’s floor. The cashier hurried to help him and together they picked up all the 10 000 coins back into Zappis’ wallet. The man exited the market back into the dark street. He pulled his phone from his pocket and automatically called to Rauski without thinking.

‘’Zappis? You okay?’’ Rauski answered the phone. There was a loud unformed conversation going in the background and Keimo’s wailing.

‘’What? –Yeah, I am. I don’t really know why I even called.’’ Zappis replied.

‘’Wow, dude. Are you soon here, Keimo’s about to do a make-over to your healt studies book because he lost to Retris in… what is it… Mortal Kombat! Come quickly, we need you here.’’ Rauski slurred.

‘’Oh man… I’ll come as quick as I can.’’ Why ‘’we need you’’? Why not just Rauski…


When Zappis finally got back into the apartment, it was all silent. Well, there was some kind of a snarling sound coming from the kitchen when Keimo tried to make himself food out of a sausage and some food cream. Zappis moved the man aside and gave him one beer from his crate. Keimo growled something like a ‘’thank you’’ to Zappis and wobbled back into the bathroom.

Zappis opened one can for himself too and walked into the living room. There, four men were lying in the most peculiar positions all around the room. Proto was half under the table, Retris drooled against a wall, Fisu had his legs up on the sofa and Rauski was halfway into the bedroom. Zappis manoeuvred his way around the bodies to in front of the sofa and slid his school book from under Fisu’s legs.

He laid the book onto the table with his beer can and turned towards the bed room. He almost tripped over on Rauski who grunted and turned on his other side. Zappis’ toes were singing ‘’Hallelujah’’ as he pulled them away from under Rauski. Zappis took a hold of Rauski by the waist and got him up.

‘’What the-‘’ Rauski started and rubbed his eye.

‘’Now were going to beeeeeeeeeeeed.’’ Zappis sighed and plopped the unexpectedly very heavy man onto the bed. A huge crush-sound came from the bathroom as Keimo passed out onto the floor. Zappis’ eyes fell shut and he slumped onto Rauski’s legs.



The next morning was an interesting one. All the men suffered from an immense headache, especially Keimo who had hit his head on the edge of the sink. Rauski gave out a manly scream as he woke up to notice Zappis’ hand placed on his butt.

‘’PERVERT!!’’ Rauski yelled and Zappis jumped up like he was struck by a lightning and slammed his hand onto his mouth with his eyes widening and his face blushing. Fisu practically flied into the bedroom and ripped out laughing. Proto and Retris followed and Keimo crawled in too. Rauski joined the laughing band and Zappis blushed bright red.

Really nice. And oh, he got an F from the exam.