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Wafer Cookies

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Rick Sanchez, a man of many talents, one being a genius, another being able to drink alcohol throughout an entire day and not get a buzz. He was also getting old, and still not able to see color. Well, he was able to see it, but not well. It was dull, and not as vibrant as people described it to be. Rick thought that he found the one he could call his soulmate, an alien hive mind named Unity. They both saw color with each other, but it wasn't the real deal. Everything was dull. Once they broke up, you'd think everything would go back to black and white. Nope, they still loved each other, so much so that Rick still saw dull colors. He tried to convince himself that it was only because of the sex, but he knew better. Then after a while, Rick met someone, and he actually thought they were the one. But she wasn't, things were more vibrant yes, but the color red, still dull. They stayed together though, and had a child together thinking that it'd keep them together. After so many years of fighting and arguing Rick left, not able to take getting yelled at for his overwhelming passion for science anymore. Decades passed before the now visibly aging man even showed to his child, now a wife and mother, that he was still alive. He lives with her, colors duller than ever.

You were a woman who's never really felt love. You haven't been interested in ever seeing color, if you do fine without it, why need it? You could tell what some colors were thanks to color dictionaries that were provided but you felt that you didn't need to see color. There were times though, after an exceptional one night stand or an actually okay blind date that you saw some color, but then you'd push it aside and eventually the color would vanish. You've never gone a full week with color, and didn't intend to start. That at least wasn't until you were in the grocery store, and tall man with a bald spot hidden in his gravity defying hair, cut in front of you from taking the last box of wafer cookies.

"Hey!" You called when his hand took hold of the box before yours could. He rolled his eyes.

"Look lady, I grabbed the box first so it's mine oka-" He had fully turned to you and stopped, it was only for a moment before he started talking again.

"I-I-I got the box first, so they're mine." He tucked the box under his arm.

"Like hell, I was here before you and you took them when I was grabbing for them!" You said, leaning your weight to one hip. The man's eyes followed your hip, as you spoke, clearly not listening. You grunted, and proceeded to take the cookies out from under his arm.

"I've had a long week, I don't need your perverted eyes following me to be the cherry on top of it. I'm taking these cookies and there's nothing you can do about it."

The man stood there, dumbfounded as you stalked off, the wafer cookies under your arm. He honestly wasn't that bad looking, but god what a creep, and a rude one at that.

You were in the checkout line when he showed up again. You were paying for the wafer cookies when he was standing there behind you. You rolled your eyes and let out a disgusted sigh.

"What do you want, Bald Spot?"

"Those wafer cookies, obv-obviously." He said, following you as you took the wafer cookies and started to walk out of the store.

"I'm not going to give them to you." You said, taking your car keys out of your pocket.

"Look- look lady, I-I-I'm not afraid to fight-URP- ya for them."

At first, you were astonished that he could burp mid sentence and still have the flow of a sentence, then you registered that he said he'd fight you. You started to laugh, a hand covering your mouth.

"Fight me? For wafer cookies?!" You said from behind your hand. You keeled over, hugging your stomach as you felt it start to cramp up. You started to light up, standing up straight and wiping your eyes.

"Oh- ohohohoho-" you giggled, "Jesus Christ, that was a day brightener."

When your vision cleared, you could see that the man was not as amused as you were. Your mood was changed from the laughter, and you held out your hand, introducing yourself.

"You're pretty funny for a grouchy unibrow in a lab coat." You noted, still holding out your hand. The man stared at your hand before rolling his eyes and shaking your hand. It was then you noticed that he also was drooling. Oh god, you really knew how to pick them huh? Was the drool green though? You couldn’t see the color, but you were positive that that’s what the color dictionary says green is. This guy is an enigma wrapped in a riddle that's being butt-fucked by conundrum.

"Rick Sanchez, and this is- uuURP WHERE'S MORTY?!" Rick looked around.

"Uh, Morty?"

"RICK Y-Y-YOU ASSHOLE!" A shrill voice yelled from the front of the store. Standing there was a teenage boy, curly brown hair atop his head.

"Jesus Christ Morty you-you gotta stay with me- stay- k-keep up with your grandpa, Morty!" Rick yelled back, and he turned back to you. You raised an eyebrow. You felt a bit downtrodden thinking that this guy was actually married with kids and grandkids. You were hoping for maybe a one night stand in the least if you were going to be completely honest with yourself.

"You have grandkids?" You questioned as the said grandkid came up to stand next to his grandfather.

"Yeah- complete shitheads if you ask me."

"Ah- jeez Rick- that-that's notta very nice thing to-t-t-to say."
Morty stammered, rubbing his own arm to comfort himself.

"I-I have science to prove how shitty you and your sister are. I have scientific proof, Morty."

You regretted ever thinking about wanting to have sex with this man. He wasn't nice to his own grandchildren, how would that transfer to how he treats the people he's having sex with? Probably like absolute shit you thought, and maybe that's what you wanted. To be degraded and told how lucky you were to even be in the same room as him. Wait- no, that's terrible, you shook your head to clear it from the kinky thoughts.

"So- you're married?" You asked without thinking. Wow you actually did clear all thought. Rick looked over from the small boy he was ranting at. You could almost see the ghost of a smirk, but his face remained annoyed.

"No, why're you-uRRp-skin' shorty?" Oh well, maybe you might have a chance- wait- did he just call you 'shorty'?

"'Shorty'? You're freakishly tall, Jolly Green!" You retorted. Morty stifled a laugh. Rick sent a glare his way then looked back to you.

"Look- I-I-I just want the wafer cookies, so hand them over!" He held out his hand.

"Fuck no!" You say, continuing your venture to your car.

"Rick, it's just wafer cookies-"

"No Morty! I-I-I’ve been everywhere and-and no goddamn store has any goddamn wafer cookies!”


"Not the good kind, Morty! Wafer cookies are-are important, Morty! They're the only way we can properly-properly watch Ball Fondlers- BALL FONDLERS, MORTY!"

You had stopped listening to the man two minutes ago, and had successfully sat down in your car- setting your box of wafer cookies onto the passenger seat, starting the car. Rolling the windows down you settled yourself and plugged in your phone to listen to the music you wanted. As you scrolled through your Spotify playlists, out of the corner of your eye, you can see a hand creep into the car, reaching for the wafer cookies. You yelped and threw the car into reverse, hitting the gas. The hand flew out of the car with a gasp of surprise.

"What the fuck shortstack?!" You heard Rick exclaim. You drove the car to be right up next to Rick Sanchez and his little grandson Morty.

"'What the fuck shortstack'? What the fuck Professor Honeydew?! You were trying to steal a box of fucking wafer cookies from my car!" You glare at Rick, who only glares back. You sigh.

"You wanna come over?" You ask. You were surprised with yourself, but hid it with a quirked eyebrow and a face of someone who doesn't care. God your resting bitch face was a blessing sometimes. But why would you ask that? You find yourself repeating in your mind. Maybe because you were really hoping for a good stress reliever after this week. And god it looked like this crotchety old man needed it too. Really needed it.

"Love to-"

Wait did he just agree.

"Morty-" Rick reached into his lab coat and pulled out a weird gun looking machine with a bright green bulb that was moving with electricity on the top. Rick shot the gun and a green matching the bulb portal popped up next to Morty.

"Go home- I'll be home- fuckin' I don't know-" Rick looked at you. "How long is this gonna take?"

"How long do you think Doc Brown?" God what were you saying? Last time you did something like this your apartment was almost robbed of its T.V.. Rick rolled his eyes and looked to Morty.

"I'll- I'll be home when I'm home- now go-now go- Fuck I don't care."
Rick climbed into the passenger seat of the car, holding the wafer cookies in his lap. You watched Morty go into the portal with it disappearing after he stepped through, a look of annoyance on his face. It didn't click in your head that you could actually see how brilliant the green was. You were too preoccupied with the strangely handsome man in your car.

"You should be nicer to him, he seems like a good kid." You say, driving out of the parking lot. Rick groaned, and you could see an eye roll that moved his whole head.

"Fuck that noise- if- if- if you're just gonna rant about h-h-how I need to treat Morty then I'll leave."

"No- I was just saying- you should give the kid a break. Maybe he could use a stress reliever too." Rick groans.

"I'm just here for the wafer cookies." You hear the rustling of the plastic grocery bag and you grab his hands with one of yours.

"Touch those cookies, you get no form of sweets when we get to my bedroom. Ya hear me Doc Oc?" You took the cookies out of his lap and tossed them in the back of the car.

"Fuck you princess." Rick grunted.

"That's why you're here Unibrow." You say, resting your elbow on the armrest. You held out your hand expectantly. When you didn't feel anything slip in to your fingers, you snapped them.

"What?" Rick asked, sounding rather annoyed.

"I like to hold hands when I'm driving with someone." You say, not looking over.

"What? No, this-URP-this is a one time thing, I-I-I'm not doing dumb rituals or whatever."

"That's too bad- I was gonna let you have a wafer cookie or two if you did." You say, starting to lower your arm to just rest on the gear shift.

"Are y-y-y-you treating me like-like a dog doing party tricks?" Rick asked, and was answered in silence from you.

"That's kinky as shit." Rick slipped his hand into yours, you grinned.

As you drove, your music rang throughout the car softly, there wasn't much conversation between you and the lab coat wearing salt shaker. You finally ended up at your apartment complex, and you got out of the car, grabbing the bag of wafer cookies and waiting for Rick by the elevator.

"You're how old and you have an apartment?" Rick commented stepping into the elevator with you.

"You're how old and you're not married and live with your kid's family?" You retorted, poking the floor button with your middle finger. As you stood in the elevator, Rick slipped his hand with yours again, but then it slipped to your waist. It trailed down to your hip and grazed past your ass. You continued to stare lazily at the elevator doors, but you could feel the heat rising in your cheeks. Rick's hand found it's way under your shirt, fingertips skimming along your skin causing goosebumps. His hand traveled into your pants, and he groped your ass, making your cheeks flush even more.

You jumped when the elevator doors opened and people were standing behind it. There were at least four people and they all piled into the elevator. Somehow, you found yourself in a corner, Rick standing front of you. As the people individually pushed their buttons, Rick's hand had reached out behind him and was on your stomach, inching its way blindly to your pants again. It went under your waistband and started to massage your sex through the cloth of your underwear. If you weren't red before, you were now. You were surrounded by people and Rick was fingering you, unnoticed. And he said you were the kinky one. But I guess you still were, the thought of getting caught in such a lewd act and Rick's slender fingers stroking you was enough to have your underwear soaked. You bit your lip, focusing everything on holding back moans and controlling your breathing. His fingers went beneath your undergarments and prodded at your folds, teasing your entrance and rolling your clit.

When people got off they didn't even notice that you were behind the tall man in the corner, at least until the final person. You thought you were safe and moaned out a small 'fuck' and they turned around. What they saw was Rick pulling a sticky hand out of your pants and as the doors closed you saw their horrified face and they saw yours along with Rick sticking his tongue through his fingers which he made in the shape of a 'V'.

"You kinky bitch." You say breathlessly, when the doors close. You lean heavily on the wall, trying to regain feeling in your legs. Rick gave a satisfied smirk, then studied his sticky fingers.

"I'm the kinky one? You're the one that's soaking wet." Rick spread his fingers to show the bridges of clear fluid to emphasize his point. You scowled then waltzed over to him, and cupped his dick, it was hard. Rick let out a gasp of surprise and it was your turn to give a satisfied smirk.

"You're the one that's rock hard."

The elevator doors opened again, this time to your floor, you took Rick's clean hand and lead the way to your apartment. It wasn't much, a small living room with an adjoining kitchen; a hallway that went from the living room that lead to the bedroom and bathroom. It wasn't big or fancy but it suited you to your liking. Once you had unlocked the door, you whirled around and grabbed Rick's face, pulling him down to your height, kissing him roughly. Rick kicked the door closed behind him, and you set down the bag of wafer cookies. He tasted like stale alcohol, and what you can only describe as chemicals, it made you want more. You wrapped your arms around his neck, and he picked up your leg, hitching it to his hip as he picked up your other one. For such a twig-like guy he was able to pick you up with relative ease and he tried to find his way around your apartment to your bedroom. Rick nipped at your lip, making you gasp at the sudden pain and he took advantage and slipped his tongue into your mouth. You let out a moan, god he tasted even better with a deep kiss. Your tongues battled and before either were claimed the victor you were plopped down onto your bed.

Rick shrugged off his lab coat, then rolled up his sleeves, and Jesus did you find it hot.

"My good doctor, what do you plan on doing with me?" You asked, trying to catch your breath and kicking off your shoes and socks. Rick had pulled your bottom half, along with your pants and panties, off the edge of the bed. Rick kneeled in front of you, then placed either leg over his shoulders. He grinned.

"Eating you the fuck out."

As soon as the words left his lips he was on you, licking up your folds and pressing the flat of his tongue on your clit. Your hips bucked in response, making Rick chuckle against you. The sound's vibrations sent shockwaves through your cunt, making you moan out Rick's name. You continued to moan as Rick licked you thoroughly, clenching your fists full of your bedsheets. Your legs tightened around his head, pulling him closer to you, and making him press harder against your clit, making you moan louder.

"Ooh yes, Rick~!"

Rick rolled your clit with his tongue, then licked at your entrance. You could feel his tongue enter you and curl. He continued to tongue fuck you until you were practically screaming, switching from bedsheets to his hair. He stopped when you exclaimed how close you were. You shot up, breathing heavily.

"What the fuck?!" You panted. Before you could chew him out, Rick had crashed his lips onto yours. You ran your fingers along his thin chest, figuring out through touch that he was now shirtless. You could taste yourself on him, and it was almost like Rick was forcing you to taste what he did, just wanting you to know how good you actually tasted to him. You pulled away to breathe, and as you stared into Rick's eyes trying to catch your breath, you thought you could see glimmers of what you could assume was color. You pulled away from Rick even more, closing your eyes and shaking your head.

"W-wha-what? Is something wrong?" Rick questioned. Who knew? The cranky bastard cared.

"N-no-no, I just, eyelash in my eye." You lied. Rick seemed suspicious for a moment, but then went back to normal, he started to kiss along your jawline and down to your neck, lightly biting you. You moaned out a sigh, and your eyes wandered to your dresser. A lightbulb went off in your head.

"Hey, Rick?" You said quietly. Rick hummed against your neck.

"You into. . . Bondage?"

Rick pulled away from you, then quirked one side of his unibrow.

"You tellin' me, that you've been raggin' this whole time about how you weren't kinky, and-and-and here you are- asking me if I-I-I'm into bondage." Rick seemed a little miffed. You just looked at him with pursed lips.

"So. . .?"

"Of course I'm into bondage- fuck you- where's the handcuffs?"

You pointed to the dresser.

"Top row, far right." You sigh, and took off your shirt and unclipping your bra. You lay back on the bed, completely naked and close your eyes.

"Question, am I wearing the cuffs or-or are you wearing the cuffs?"

"Whatever makes you pop a stiff one."

"Either works, and I-I already am."

You open one eye and look over at him. He had gotten completely naked while your eyes were closed and he had the handcuffs in hand, keys in the other. He was lanky, like you had already figured, but it wasn't unhealthily so. As for his penis. . . It was pretty good for your standards. And as he said, he was popping a stiff one. You looked up at Rick's face, and grinned. You sat up and turned your back to him, setting your arms comfortably behind yourself.

"Cuff me."

You feel the cool metal clasps around your hands, and they click.

"Where did you even get these? They're real handcuffs."

"Old fuck buddy of mine was a cop- told me to keep them when he was transferred out of state." You explain, laying down onto your back and looking at Rick through your eyelashes. It didn't register for you that Rick's hair was starting to tint blue. Rick looked you over, his eyes raking your body, he seemed to be memorizing every curve, every dip, the pure mathematics of your body. You shivered as you watched him. Rick noticed, and his eyes flickered back to your face. He grinned mischievously, then leaned over and started to kiss you. You arched your back trying to press against him but he pushed you down. You whined and tried to push against him, but Rick was strong. You were stuck, pinned to the bed, your only contact being your lips and the hand just below your ribs. Rick pulled away.

"Riiick~" You whined, and writhed a little.


"Touch me, please." You whispered. Rick chuckled.

"Already begging? I haven't even started." He said it rather darkly, sending shockwaves to your cunt. You moaned a little, whimpering as Rick continued to torture you with little to no contact. You rubbed your thighs together, trying to get some form friction to your clitoris, but to no avail, you were aching for some form of release. Rick chuckled as he watched you struggle and squirm, looking to be taking pleasure in your discomfort.


“Shut up.” Rick ordered and you immediately shut your mouth, getting more excited by how demanding he was. He looked you over again and when you whined he looked at your face, quirking one side of his unibrow. You did your best puppy dog eyes, begging with a little whine here and there. Rick rolled his eyes and he got on top of you, skimming his fingers down your sides to your lower regions. You whined again when he teases you, playing at your folds then rolling your clit, making you buck your hips into Rick. He laughs.

“Someone’s ready to go.” Rick leaned over kissing at your neck, sucking and leaving hickeys where his lips left. You bit your lip, holding back a moan. Rick pulled away again, and this time rummaged through his pants, and he pulled out a condom.

“You son of a bitch, I didn’t take you for a condom man.” You tease.

“I don’t want to deal with children- Jesus and you think I have time for a vasectomy?” Rick said, rolling the condom on. You watched as he got back on top of you and readied himself. He played with you more, making your hips buck again. Then Rick pushed himself into you rather suddenly, and you let out a low moan, arching your back. Your eyes had closed at the sudden fullness of your body, you didn’t notice that the walls of your room were starting to gain hue. The pace Rick had set right off the bat had you moaning out his name. Rick held your hips in an almost bruising grip, keeping you in place.

“Oooh God- Daddy!” Your brain was mush.

“Daddy?” Rick laughed between pants. “You’re such a goddamn hypocrite, you kinky cunt.” Rick leaned over you to capture your lips before another ‘daddy’ left your mouth. You shoved your tongue into him, wanting to taste him again, to keep him down there with you. His chest rubbed yours, stimulating your nipples, making your body send more shocks of pleasure to you. It had only been a few minutes and you already felt the knot growing in your stomach. You cried out in the kiss, breaking away from your own craving.

“Yes, I’m so close, Daddy I’m so close~!”

Rick laughed again, and he kissed you again, shutting you up, which you didn’t argue against. Rick’s thrusts we’re getting more sloppy, more impatient, faster, rougher, he was getting close too. You whined in his mouth, you needed to be touched more, you needed to get over the edge. Rick groaned in response to your whine, pushing him closer to the edge, god the groans and little moans that would escape his mouth were the sexiest things you’ve ever heard.

You had to break away when you could feel yourself about to plummet off the edge, mere centimeters from diving into the ocean of ecstasy. You panted, you wanted to tangle your hands into Rick’s hair, you fought against the handcuffs. God you wanted nothing more than to touch Rick in anyway you possibly could, you wanted him to be pressed against you as you came around him. You tried your best by wrapping your legs around him, it did nothing but drive him deeper into you, making you scream in pleasure. You felt the knot release, you felt your whole body go numb. Rick kept going. You were so sensitive it almost hurt to have him driving into you, getting those last thrusts in so he can experience his own release. He let a guttural moan, giving weak thrusts in response to his orgasm. Rick let out a deep sigh, as he pulled out of you. You shuddered at the sudden cold, empty feeling that he left.

You opened your eyes, seeing stars. God, you’ve never had that happen before. You actually orgasmed to the point where nothing else mattered and nothing could bother you in that moment.

Except maybe that you could now see that you’re seeing wasn’t black but. . . Red. . .

Your eyes went wide, and looked over to Rick who was now laying beside you after he had taken off and thrown away the used condom. He didn’t look at you, and his own eyes were wide as he stared at your ceiling.

It was red.

Oh my god it was a vibrant red.

“Rick. . .”

He didn’t say anything, he just stared.

“Rick please answer me.”

He sat up and leaned over to grab the handcuff’s keys off your nightstand. You sat up so he could unlock the cuff. He did so, then got up and started getting dressed.

“Rick, please talk to me.”

“Thi-this doesn’t mean anything. Me seeing y-y-your dumb fucking red ceiling means nothing. Color is nothing, soulmates are nothing.” He said, pulling the lab coat on over his shirt. You got up now, feeling hyper aware of your nakedness. You grabbed his arm, and kept him there, using all your strength to make him stay still.

“Rick Sanchez. This means something, and you’re going to talk to me about it. You can’t run away from this, this is something important.”

“Me? Loving you? God it’s stupid to even say.”

“If you didn’t love me then you wouldn’t be seeing the red ceiling you fucking dumbass!” You exclaimed. You closed your eyes and took a breath, calming down.

“Rick,” You said it softer now, “We love each other, and that’s the truth, that’s what our biology is saying. We can’t ignore it. You don’t get full color from someone unimportant.”

Rick just stared at you. You let his arm go, losing hope in keeping your soulmate in your grasp. You turned around and left the room, going to your bathroom to clean up. When you got back from your shower, you expected to see your bedroom with your clothes strewn on the floor, the handcuffs thrown to the side, with no one inside. The clothes were on the floor, the handcuffs were thrown to the side, but, it wasn’t empty. Rick was looking at your things, observing, internalizing your room. He turned when he heard you step into the room, he looked annoyed.

“So, if we’re soulmates, you’ll give me the wafer cookies?”