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Garth Brooks Couldn't Have Sung It Better (And the Thunder Rolls)

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And now for the weather, Heather. How do things look over the weekend?

Bad, Charles. There‘s a massive storm building right this moment over Carthage, the likes of which we haven't seen in decades here in Arkansas. It's-

~

"You just had to piss off a weather god, didn't you?"

Awesome. Blame the archangel for everything. Not like there hadn't been a Dean-shaped Winchester running his mouth off, as well. "Glasshouses, bucko. Glasshouses."

"While Dean would do well to learn how to be respectful, he didn't call the most powerful of the Olympians a 'cow-fucking mountain-dweller.'"

Oh, sweet. Little bro was being all protective of his Deanie-weanie. Gabriel could gag. And now Sam was sighing and shifting like a 90-year-old suffering from arthritis, trying to figure out where to keep his legs. Maybe he should mojo him some extra legroom. Or maybe not; he could hear Dean bitching already. 'Oooh, my poor Impala. What have you done to my baby, waaaaah!' Fine, so maybe shrink Sam a bit. Not all of him. Just the legs.

"I know what you're thinking."

Doubtful. He took a peek inside Sam's mind. Yeah, it was mostly along the lines of 'don't do anything to my brother. Or Cas.' Predictable, so damn predictable sometimes.

"Fine, fine," Gabriel huffed and-

-winced against the bright light and the sudden boom that shook the car.

"Shit!" Dean cursed as the car swerved wildly. Gabriel readied his Grace in case he needed to do some quick rescuing, but the car spun to a stop, and the Winchesters remained unhurt.

"Oh God," Sam gasped, blinking and rubbing his eyes. Gabriel checked him over. Nah, boy was fine.

"Our Father had nothing to do with this. It was Zeus who aimed the bolt that struck us."

Stupid fucker that he was. Little bro twitched but otherwise ignored that comment. Huh, he actually agreed.

"You alright, Sammy?" Deano twisted around, took a look at his brother.

"He is," Gabriel grumbled; he'd been sitting right next to Sammy, hadn't he?

"Right." Dean turned back and tried to restart the car. Key word being 'tried'. "Son of a bitch. Okay, that's enough. I'm going back there and kicking his ass."

"That isn't wise, Dean."

"I don't care. He broke the Impala!" Which was a declaration of war in Dean-land. Kill him 200 times, he bounces back smiling, but Dad have mercy on anyone who dared to touch little Sammy or Deano's car. Gabriel could get behind the Sammy part; the car? Fuck the car.

"Let's just wait it out. He'll calm down, yeah?" Sam suggested, eyes fixed on Dean now that he'd stopped rubbing them. "Mercury was his best friend. He's got the right to be upset."

Fuck, now Gabriel was feeling guilty for being an ass. This wouldn't do. It hadn't been his fault that his brother had killed old M, and Gabriel totally got to defend himself. He'd done nothing to deserve that crappy attitude Zeus showed him. Tho' okay, alright. Insulting him was maybe not the smartest move, given the circumstances.

"But my-"

"The car can be fixed, Dean. Let it go," Castiel interrupted.

"Fine." Dean crossed his arms over his chest and settled into his seat to glare out into the semi-darkness for however long it took. 'Course, Cas did too. He was such a patient little thing.

Sam shifted again, pulling up a leg almost to his chest.

They waited. Thunder rolled. Lightning struck. Rain rained. Sam shifted. They waited some more. After thirty seconds of this, Gabriel couldn't take it any longer. He was going to get them out of there, with or without the Impala, but then Castiel's gaze snapped towards him. Yeah, okay, he and Dean'd already had that convo, and Sammy always got so bitchy when his brother was bitchy. Little bro, too. They were all such sourpusses, Gabriel didn't know why he put up with them.

Aside from the sex, that was. And the fact that they made great targets and didn't try to kill him (much) afterwards. Okay, and Dean sometimes laughed at his jokes when they were on Sam, and Gabriel liked having an appreciative audience. And Sammy might pretend to disapprove, but he enjoyed them too. "I could-"

"No."

"Just me and Sam?"

"You brought this about. You're going to stay here like the fucking rest of us!"

"I foresee that Zeus' ire will increase if you leave."

Gabriel clicked his tongue. "Alright. Wouldn't want you lot to fry without me here to protect you."

"I believe that I can-"

"Okay, stop." Sam glowered at them. "We're going to be stuck here for a while yet. Let's all try to get along."

"Yes, Mom," Gabriel sing-songed. Sam glared at him while Dean snickered.

"Even your boyfriend thinks you're a giant girl, Sam."

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Winchester War settled. Awesome. Everything was quiet for another minute while the thunder thundered on outside. Dad damn it, but this was boring.

'Shit!'

Oh-ho, what was this? Gabriel tuned into Sam's mind. He was cursing the cramped space that gave him a cramp in the calf. Better than nothing, Gabriel supposed.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"You. A favor. Shut up and think of England."

"You removed my pants!"

"Christ, I didn't wanna know that!" Dean yelped from the front.

"It makes massaging your calf easier."

"Massage my...? Couldn't you just have removed the cramp?"

"Cas, do something!"

"Nah. Then I'd still be bored." Gabriel made a grab for Sam's leg. "Hold still."

"What would you have me do, Dean?"

"I don't know," Dean whined, and Gabriel fucking had enough. He snapped his fingers, making his brother's tie fly from his neck and gag the noisy Winchester.

"Mmph!" Dean's hand flew up to his face, pulling at the tie wrapped around his head. Hmm. Gotta make sure it stayed there.

Snap.

"Brother."

"What? You want him more respectful. I agree."

"I kind of wanna gag you now," Sam grumbled, expression serious. Inwardly he was laughing his head off about Dean. Score!

Gabriel leered at him. "Maybe later. If you're good." He started rubbing up and down Sam's leg, slowly increasing the pressure.

Castiel stared at them. Then he stared at Dean, expression thoughtful. "It has a certain appeal."

Oooh, lovely. Cas could do with a little corruption. "The gag or the massage?"

His brother tilted his head, hesitating before answering, "Both."

"Mmph!"

"Shut up, Deano. I'm doing you a favor." Dang it, he seemed to be doing this a lot.

"I'm going to be scarred for life."

"Nah, you'll be fine. Look, even the innocent angel is fine." Little bro had just made up his mind and was making a grab for Dean's legs, tugging and pulling till they were in his lap.

"Should I?" He made a vague gesture towards Dean's pants. Dean glared at him, and Gabriel took a quick peek into his mind. Down with little bro getting his hands on him, not so much with being pantless. Hmm.

"Shoes will do. Go for his feet."

Cas pulled off both shoes, socks too, and began to stroke Dean's feet.

"Kneading too. See?" He changed his grip and began kneading and rubbing in circles. Cramp was going away - alright! - and Sam swallowed and bit back a moan. That could have been a bit pornier. Maybe he should use some kind of oil or lotion. Gabriel snapped up a bowl, spread some of the contents over his hands, then floated the rest to Cas.

"You're kidding." Cute. Sam was still pretending he was annoyed. Kind of futilely considering the noises he was making.

"Nope."

Oh, and now Deano started moaning behind his gag. Heh. Gabriel raised an eyebrow at his brother. It was all about finding the right incentive, yeah? So it had taken him a while to figure out what that was, but so what. His patience had totally paid off, and Sammy was in agreement with him, judging by the whimpering, and Deano was right there with his brother, gag or no. Gabriel's own brother was nodding thoughtfully and staring at Dean's feet like they were the most fascinating thing on earth, and that boy was oh so aroused by that and trying not to show it. His little brother noticed though, even if he pretended not to. Some of Gabriel was obviously rubbing off on him, and he'd totally take credit or blame or whatever for that. Awesome.