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Nothing Wrong ((for lack of a better title))

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There's nothing wrong with you.

 

That's what was said, when you were first diagnosed.

 

but was it really true?

 

Because you were only (almost) eleven, and you didn't fully understand what this Asperger's Syndrome was. It was a name, a title, that you made no connection with being the word to describe your behavior and difficulty.

 

As an adult you can appreciate it; it's not an excuse. Not a disease. To you, not a problem. Having a word for an essential part of you is like knowing what color your eyes and hair are (of which you are particular in describing), or knowing your blood type (if they'd freaking tell you. You already don't agree with blood transfusions you just want to know what freaking proteins cling to your hemoglobin, Jeegus mice.)

 

To you it is good to know. It can be an explanation of needing help with difficulty if people would only listen.

 

Becasue, if there was nothing wrong with you, then why are you always asked such things?

 

"Why would you do that?!"

 

"How could you not know!"

 

"It's common sense!"

 

"Are you stupid?!"

 

There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing broken - nothing missing. The friction and misunderstanding is from miscommunication. Your language is different from theirs. From most peoples'.

 

And it can hurt. It can feel like you're broken; like you were born with missing pieces and your whole system is falling apart, piece by piece.

 

But, like you, there are people different but not altogether removed from 'them'. And they can understand you enough to translate, so that others can understand you.

 

And it reminds you once more that it isn't you; you are not broken. That what was missing was nothing but patience amongst all, to give time for understanding.

 

And you've never been so greatful.