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I Don't Have Time to Maintain These Regrets

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It starts like this: Yoongi is a starving college kid; Hoseok is a starving part-time-worker, part-time dancer, and full-time student; Namjoon has too many academic scholarships to count, but no money for food or rent, so he's a starving college kid too. 

 

Yoongi remembers that he’s got sticky fingers when his manager tells him not to bother coming back because he’s late to almost every shift anyway. It’s not his fault that his class schedule is an absolute mess this semester. Yoongi’s shocked it took them this long to fire him, but his manager really, really liked him. Yoongi’s actually absurdly glad to be away from that dead-end job and old, sketchy manager, even if now he only has a dollar-seventy-two in his bank account.

 

Yoongi just doesn’t tell Hoseok or Namjoon where he’s been getting his cup-ramens recently - until he’s put in holding for petty theft. Both Hoseok and Namjoon are amazed and furious at him when they get his phone call…  but Yoongi is just glad they picked up.

 

  Somehow, they gather enough money from their own threadbare pockets to pay bail and enthusiastically defend him against his charges (by paying the store owner off). They go home on the midnight train, having gotten Yoongi off of his charge of petty theft, dead silence between them and the few other passengers on the train.

 

When they get home, Yoongi is sat down on the couch and given the lecture of a lifetime - he can’t even get a word in edgewise for several minutes. It’s not ‘til Namjoon and Hoseok are blue in the face from scolding him like a child that Yoongi realizes that they’re not yelling at him for stealing. They’re yelling at him for getting caught. 

 

He stops yelling; he starts laughing .

 

###

 

At first, it was just Yoongi. Sitting in an old, unused practice room, claimed for doing nothing except doodling notes in the margins as he listens to a video drone on about- well, it’s something he has a test on tomorrow. It’s cold in the room, but it’s better than being outside or being kicked out of the library at this time of night. The janitors in this building like him, so they turn a blind eye.

 

A storm enters in the form of an attractive kid with silver-blonde hair, stumbling over a - “Hey, I’m Namjoon and I have a deadline tomorrow can I please use this room? Great, thanks.” Not even waiting for a response. Yoongi does a double-take before shrugging and shifting to sit in the corner of the room with his bag and coat. Yoongi has no problems with sharing the space, as long as the kid isn’t an asshole, he supposes.

 

“Um… By the way…” The kid is looking at him strangely and Yoongi shifts his bag closer to himself. The kid is still not sitting at the piano as Yoongi expected him to, but instead fidgeting, he asks, “I - hate to bother you, but are you - did you take Powell’s Advanced Comp 203 last year?” 

 

Yoongi frowns, preparing himself mentally to flee the scene and find somewhere else to sleep tonight - “Yeah? Why do you ask?” 

 

“Powell’s Advanced Comp OST project… I completely forgot about it until, like, yesterday, and then all the practice rooms were closed or full… I’m stupidly late on it.” He gives Yoongi a surreptitious glance as if he’s going to rescind his offer. “I’ve just gotta get a few rough recordings in but I have no idea what she wants! How did you do on this project? Do you know what she means? I’m sorry to interrupt you but I need help!” The kid rambles on, gesticulating wildly. 

 

Yoongi’s eyes widen - “Oh, no worries. I wasn’t really doing anything anyway. You’re taking Powell? I took that last semester and failed it… so hard.” Yoongi shakes his head at himself, “She’s insane but the only teacher for it. I gotta retake it, but it’s all full up.” Yoongi sighs and locks his phone, his test tomorrow can wait, he won’t let another person get caught off guard by Powell’s deceptive assignments like he was last semester. Because that was definitely the only reason he failed that class. Definitely. 

 

“Really? You failed it?” Namjoon looks despondently at his crumpled sheet work. Yoongi panics and tries to reassure him - 

 

“Well, yeah. But people fail that class all the time - I’m not special. Powell isn’t the absolute worst or anything, you just have to learn how to deal with her and look smart…” Namjoon still looks sullen, though, so Yoongi trails off. “Here, I can look over your sheets and see if I can give you some pointers? I think I remember something about this project… Would that help?”

 

At this, the kid finally looks alive, “Really? You really mean it, Yoongi?”

 

Yoongi tilts his head, “I didn’t tell you my name, did I?” He honestly can’t remember if he told this kid his name because he hasn’t slept in 19 hours, but he doesn’t tend to give his name out, because then people start giving him Looks .

 

Namjoon, though, blushes. “Uh - no? Sorry… But I did recognize you from - around campus. A few of the upperclassmen have... pointed you out before.”

 

Assholes, Yoongi thinks vitriolically, they should keep their mouths shut. “I see.” 

 

Namjoon raises his hands defensively, “None of them said anything! They just mentioned that you got the music scholarship for their year.”

 

Once upon a time. “You shouldn’t listen to them,” Yoongi bites out, before forcibly letting go of the tension in his shoulders. He shouldn’t be getting mad at a kid who looks so young and tired. “Sorry. How old are you anyway, kid?” 

 

Namjoon blinks, “20, this is my second year here, technically, but - um I got to CLEP out of a couple of classes and my AP credits cover some of the basics…” He rambles a little nervously and Yoongi can guess that some upperclassmen didn’t take well to the fact that this sophomore skipped classes they still had to pay for. 

 

Yoongi nods, “That’s pretty cool, kid.” Namjoon breathes an obvious sigh of relief, “Anyway, about this project, in particular, I think that…” Yoongi goes to take a seat next to Namjoon on the bench, cramming close on the hardwood bench so that he can straighten out Namjoon’s sheets and point out this note on the piano and this chord on Namjoon’s sheets.

 

He shows Yoongi a little of what he has planned, and Yoongi grins to hear it, eyes brightening with each note. Still, there’s a couple of points where Namjoon is unsure, so Yoongi tries to reassure him and singles out a few things he can do here and there- before he yawns on Namjoon’s face. It’s silent for a moment before Namjoon yawns back on a reflex and they share a laugh before returning to their work.

 

###

 

Yoongi’s not really surprised to wake up in the practice room, leaning against the wall and covered by a jacket, as it’s a more common happenstance than he would like to admit. He does get a surreal jolt of surprise when he sees Namjoon next to him, but he just snuffles a sleepy sigh and snuggles back into the warmth they’ve created, it’s unfamiliarly comforting - before his alarm goes off. He and Namjoon groan simultaneously, and Yoongi pats his jacket to find the off button. 

 

He glimpses the clock as he slides the button to turn it off: 10 a.m., his class is at 12 p.m. so he’s got two hours to shove this calculus down his throat so he doesn’t fail the test. Fuck.

 

Namjoon sits up as well and rubs his eyes blearily. He checks his own phone and grunts when he sees the time. Last night had been kind of a blur, fixing up his project draft, then recording, then submitting the whole thing at the last possible minute. Yoongi packs up his backpack as quickly as he can while Namjoon watches him, confused and with sleep in his eyes. Yoongi yelps out a, “See ya, kid!” As he stumbles out of the room and then the building into the morning light. He blocks his eyes to let himself adjust before rushing out to the campus cafe. He claims his seat in the back of the store and has pulled out his textbook and notes before he realizes that - ugh, he left his jacket back at the practice rooms. It’s okay because the janitors really like him (because he doesn’t ignore them or treat them like they’re lesser or make fun of their Russian accents behind their backs like the other students do) so they’ll keep it safe and he can go get it after his test, but the cafe is freaking cold and Yoongi hates the cold (and he likes to have some sort of a barrier against the people who like to stare at him). He just hopes that kid doesn’t steal it, although he definitely didn’t seem like the type, Yoongi has had people do things like that before. He rubs his arms and braces himself to just ignore it and power through - he has to pass this test. 

 

It’s almost thirty minutes later when there’s a crash and the cafe door opens. Yoongi - his phone hadn’t been charged either, otherwise he’d have his headphones in - looks up on cringing reflex and blinks when he sees Namjoon in the doorway. Holding his jacket. Oh, this kid is a blessing. 

 

Namjoon looks around for him before spotting him and making his way over, picking through students sprawled out similarly to Yoongi. “Hey, you forgot this but you left too fast for me to catch up - “

 

Yoongi snatches it from his hand and has it on in a flash, snuggling into the soft fleece-denim combination. It’s the most expensive piece of clothing he has, though he didn’t buy it. He probably should have burned it last semester, but he held on to it for some inexplicable reason. “Fuck, thank you so much, Namjoon.” 

 

Namjoon laughs breathily, watching him pull the jacket closer. “It’s - It’s really no problem.”

 

Yoongi sighs and looks back to his work. “Sorry, I’ve got a test in - what, like an hour and a half? But I don’t understand this.” Yoongi gestures helplessly and runs both hands through his hair. 

 

Taking a closer look, Namjoon follows a line in the textbook with his finger - “Oh, integrational calculus? That’s not that bad, where are you?”

 

Coming to a realization, Yoongi looks up at Namjoon in wonderment, “Not that bad? Did you take calculus already?” 

 

Again, Namjoon blushes. “Yeah, I took some in high school - APs and all. Math is okay to do, but I tend to make stupid mistakes thinking about everything.” He scrunches his nose, “It’s why I chose music and literature, instead.” 

 

Yoongi nods, he understands that. “I used to be pretty good, which is why I chose it as my gen-ed, but after a while of not using it, it all falls out of your head, y’know?” Namjoon nods. “Could you maybe give me a hand? Explain some to me?” 

 

Namjoon gapes - “Oh, I dunno how helpful I’d be.”

 

“Please, anything would help at this point,” Yoongi pleads

 

Namjoon takes a seat, “Okay, I’ll try my best!”

 

###

 

Next semester, it’s Hoseok who stumbles into their practice room. 

 

It’s not their practice room , per se, but they’ve good as claimed it, and Yoongi has upperclassman rights for reservations now, so they’re usually left undisturbed. It helps that no one remembers the basement room anyway. (Namjoon, upon joining Yoongi in their room to study and practice, had also quickly endeared himself to the janitors, even picking up some phrases in Russian to talk to them.) That is, of course, until Hoseok bursts into their room in the middle of a project. In a manner that is eerily similar to Namjoon’s entrance into his life, Yoongi hears the orange-haired kid mumble something that sounds like, “Hey, I'm Hoseok, can I crash here for a couple? I -” he interrupts himself with a yawn. “I - promise not to interrupt, whatever, it is you're doing." He waves a tired hand, which is covered in road-burn. This time, both Namjoon and Yoongi give him a small double-take (the guy is weirdly built and, wow, that’s a nice face) but give a shrug in suspicious acceptance.

 

It turns out that Hoseok did actually come here to sleep, snoring quietly in the corner and Yoongi often joins him. Neither of them has a steady place to stay and they quietly bond over long sleepless nights on hard surfaces, though Hoseok disappears often enough to some friend or another’s house, and Yoongi occasionally cajoles his way into sleeping at a frat house for a few days. Soon, Hoseok has become a permanent feature in their practice room, always quietly curled up in a corner. Yoongi even shows Hoseok his stash of warm blankets in the cupboard and offers to share.  

 

Namjoon and Yoongi worry about Hoseok, probably more than they should, considering that they hardly know each other. As much as they’ve never talked to the guy, it was kind of impossible not to realize who he was after a while: Jung Hoseok, junior, near-unanimous president of the dance club, street busker, and handsome, friendly guy who everyone likes. They’re basically strangers, only catching glances of each other outside of the practice room, seeing Hoseok with his dance group and Hoseok isn’t proud enough to not give them a small smile when they make eye contact in the wild, and it’s not much, but they smile back.

 

But when Hoseok comes into their practice room, practically their home by now, he sits down at the rickety table in the corner and starts his own homework while Namjoon and Yoongi do their own thing - so it’s hard to start an actual conversation about Hoseok’s eating and sleeping habits. It’s not like they can really say anything, anyway. 

 

It finally reaches a breaking point when Hoseok comes in with a black eye one autumn night.

Namjoon stands and pushes the bench back when he sees Hoseok enter and Yoongi looks up at the interruption. "Namjoon -" He starts but then stops when he sees Hoseok. And Hoseok's impressive black eye. And Hoseok's split lip. And the way Hoseok is holding himself off of his right leg ever so slightly.

 

Yoongi pushes the bench back further, briskly stepping over to Hoseok, who's still leaning against the door, as if he's too tired to hold himself up. "What the hell happened to you?" He asks, incredulous. He moves to support Hoseok and helps him walk over to one of the chairs along the wall. Quickly turning and grabbing the Advil he keeps in his bag along with the extra water bottle Namjoon brings.

 

Namjoon seems to be in shock, standing still, staring at Hoseok's black eye. "Sorry I- I didn’t have anywhere else to go...." He tries to refuse the Advil that Yoongi offers.

"What happened to you?" Yoongi scolds lightly, fumbling - "Listen, I know we aren’t close, but we care about you and want to help..." 

 

Hoseok finally accepts the Advil with a bowed head and knocks it back with a sip of water. "Thank you guys so much..." He frowns then winces at the resulting pain in his face. "I appreciate you guys... you don’t expect anything from me like everyone else does. And you brought those blankets and that one time you brought me a coffee- I just. Thanks for worrying about me, but you don't have to be so nice to me just because ."

 

Namjoon, who's been silently considering their words, walks over to them and interrupts Yoongi's retort at Hoseok's dismissive tone, "Hoseok, we’re really not doing this just because . Who beat you up?"

 

Hoseok sucks in a breath just to sigh and rub the back of his neck, finally relenting to their interrogation, "No one I recognized, just some really drunk kids on the street while I was out busking. Apparently, they disagreed with my music choice." He chuckles and winces when his ribs twinge.

Namjoon sighs at this and Yoongi shifts on his feet, looking as if he’s ready to go find the assholes who beat Hoseok up. "Where do you busk that you get drunk guys passing you? Why would you work in such a dangerous area?" He's this close to shaking Hoseok's shoulders like an upset and scared parent. It’s not exactly an uncharacteristic reaction for him, but Yoongi can still feel the broiling uncertainty in his chest that his overprotectiveness is weird, too sudden.

 

Hoseok just shrugs wearily. "I need cash? Drunk people are stupidly generous. We're starving college kids, we’d do anything for cash.

 

###

 

Now, instead of being Yoongi , alone in a practice room, he’s become YoongiandNamjoonandHoseok . He tingles, thinking about how the feeling is foreign and unsettling. Yoongi wouldn’t have it any other way.

Looking back, it’s a wonder they hadn’t resorted to this alternative earlier.

 

It starts like this. With Hoseok and Namjoon by his side in this new endeavor, Yoongi becomes a lot more confident. It doesn’t take long to teach Hoseok how to filch from store displays and pickpocket drunks, as nimble as he is. Namjoon himself isn’t that bad, but his nerves always get the better of him and he backs out before he even starts. It’s not a huge loss, however, as Namjoon’s talents lay more in the strategy department, and his sweet, unassuming face makes him perfect for scouting and deception.

 

Yoongi doesn’t really consider the consequences of their actions, because well, he needs it more. They’re only worried about their growling stomachs and approaching deadlines and frantic course loads as they scramble for credits to graduate on time. Yoongi is already late and he’s determined not to stumble again, running on pure spite.

 

 Yoongi uses his light fingers to make some of the stuff on the shelves ‘disappear.’ Hoseok laughs and smiles and charms and, most importantly, distracts, the clerk, the businessman on the street, the policeman outside the small convenience store. Namjoon leans on a pole across the way, eyes on his phone, as if waiting for them to leave. Then they all walk away slowly.  

 

None of them are ever caught again. 

 

They start in the small corner stores, then, as they all get better at what they do, they graduate to the rich businessmen on the street who’re walking home late. Namjoon buys an RFID scanner secondhand, which lets them take advantage of the technologically-ignorant businessmen who bump into them on the street as if they own the sidewalk. They only use it occasionally though, preferring to keep to the traditional methods of pickpocketing wallets and phones, fencing the whole credit card and phone to some kiddie hacker that  Namjoon knows in the computer club. Still, it’s easy to make a profit in the crowded streets and subways, and easier still in the tourist areas of their city. These are places that they could never afford to live, the middle of the city that’s filled with hipster coffee shops and bars, boutique avocado shops and rich start-up businesses.


The only reason they managed to afford the place they have now, on the outskirts, is thanks to Hoseok agreeing to join a lease with them in November. It has a bedroom and a kitchen and enough room for a couch and a desk and that’s about it. It’s not much, they’re still living by the skin of their teeth: their lock is still half-broken, the microwave only works if you look at it a certain way, but it’s home now. It’s home because Namjoon and Hoseok are there. It was home when Namjoon and Hoseok yelled their worried lungs out in their living room and it’s home when Namjoon whispers dreams of grandeur into their ears. They gesture and tilt and mumble late at night on their raggedy, too-small couch, watching an old movie that Namjoon had picked out, packing in close like sardines to conserve heat, conversations becoming softer and smaller as they drift off to dreams of making it just like Namjoon says.

Chapter Text

In the light of new bounties, new freedoms, and the new year, Hoseok kisses Namjoon. Or maybe Namjoon kisses Hoseok, Yoongi doesn't really know.

 

Yoongi, half asleep but suddenly so so awake, can hear Hoseok’s noise of surprise as his final countdown to midnight is cut off and Namjoon’s little, “Sor-” which is also quickly cut off.

 

Yoongi turns over to face the wall and tries to even his breathing at the soft sound of lips connecting, again, and again, and the harsh breath of Hoseok and Namjoon echoing off the walls. He shuts his eyes tight against the new year and wills himself to sleep, but it just doesn't work.

 

With how their bunks are set up, Yoongi can't hear more than a soft murmur that signals their whispers. Yoongi doesn't really want to know what they're saying, but it's insidious, the way their soft, sweet whispers turn into harsh, angry sneers between their mouths and his ears.

 

He's always expected it to happen, eventually, but he'd been able to push it to the back of his mind for the past year of friendship. He guesses that the events of the past week - Hoseok and Namjoon having to bail Yoongi out after he got caught - had made them realize that they were better off alone together. They realized that they didn’t need him anymore.

 

Before, Namjoon and Hoseok had always inspired feelings of warmth and caring (with the odd dash of annoyance). Now, though… he's not jealous, oddly enough. Just scared. Scared that the two people who mean the most to him (whether they realize it or not) will disappear, as most people in his life are ought to do.

 

They were probably just putting up with him because he helped them do their literature and music homework and was another person to split the heating bills with. Yoongi's glad that he was at least useful for that, if nothing else.

 

Now, every time Namjoon goes out with Hoseok, even when they're inviting him too, they're only being polite. Don't intrude , he thinks to himself as he waves them off. Every time they come back laughing, his mind whispers to him: l ook at how much fun they're having without you . Every time Hoseok pulls off a new heist, the wave of they don't need you creeps closer.

 

Nothing changes between them, outwardly, at least. Namjoon and Hoseok invite him to go out with them, but he always refuses, preferring to stay in bed. They don't whisper between themselves or jump apart when Yoongi enters a room, but they do spend more time out on the living room couch together while Yoongi slips away to bed earlier and earlier. They chat quietly out there, and Yoongi hears the shift of the squeaky couch as they lean together. This isn't what gets under Yoongi's skin, though. What gets under Yoongi's skin is the way they look at him. They're always looking at him now. Searching his eyes for something.

 

Whatever it is, Yoongi doesn’t have it - can’t they see that?

 

###

 

Namjoon finally catches him when they're at home and Yoongi is just getting out of the shower, towel slung around his waist and hand absently rubbing at his hair, clothes in hand. Namjoon presses gentle fingers into Yoongi’s elbow to keep him from running away before he even starts, accustomed to Yoongi's habits when he's confronted.

 

"Hey, Yoongi, can we talk? You've been kind of... off for the last couple of days. Hoseok and I are getting worried." Yoongi stiffens and tugs his arm from Namjoon’s grip quickly.

"Nothing's wrong, Namjoon. Go away." Yoongi tries to continue past Namjoon.

 

"Not until you tell me what's wrong." Namjoon stands in front of him and crosses his arms. Yoongi bites his lip and turns around, he's tired - but he's always tired, recently. No matter how hard he bitches, though, Yoongi knows he won't be able to get past a Namjoon who's using that listen-to-me-or-else tone of voice. He'll have to give up something if he wants to get by and go to bed.

 

"Will you leave me alone, Namjoon? I'm just tired recently - you know how it is. It's just stressful right now." Yoongi crosses his own arms across his pale bare chest. He keeps his knees locked and steady, preventing the tremble that wants to spread throughout his body.

 

"No. You and I both know that's not really it. Tell me what's going on with you. You've been distant and snappish these past few days.

 

Yoongi growls low in his throat. "Drop it, Namjoon. Go hang out with Hoseok or something." Yoongi fidgets with the skin of his elbow between his fingers but doesn't let up with his unyielding pose.

"Hoseok went out with his dance club, hyung, like he always does on Friday." Oh, was it Friday already? "What's wrong, hyung, tell me - you’re not… usually like this." Namjoon tilts his head, staring at Yoongi with his piercing eyes. He takes a step forward, towards Yoongi. Yoongi takes a step back. Another step, and another, and another, and suddenly Yoongi is pressed against the wall with Namjoon right up in his face.

"I’m always like this, Namjoon.” Yoongi deadpans, pressing ineffectually at Namjoon's flat chest. "You’re imagining things. Just chill out and stop fucking bothering me - "

 

Yoongi just wants to go to sleep and forget about what's going to happen when Namjoon and Hoseok finally realize that he's just a pessimistic, needy asshole who has no real place in their lives. Namjoon bothering him about his fucking feelings when he's obviously just going to forget about Yoongi again as soon as Hoseok comes home - it's - it's aggravating. Yoongi wets his lips - "You don't need to- pretend, Namjoon. Just- leave me alone."

That gets a reaction. Namjoon's passive, worried face turns into a deep scowl, and oops, apparently Yoongi's in for a beating now. He cringes back against the wall. But Namjoon leans back instead, eyes dark. "Hyung, what the fuck. We've been friends for almost a year now, I don't pretend to care about you, wh- what makes you think that? Why- "

 

"Well - I mean, you don't have to hang out with me just because Hoseok isn't here. When Hoseok-" With each word he says, Yoongi unconsciously shifts back against the wall, shoulders curling inward, very directly not looking at Namjoon.

 

"Will you shut up about Hoseok for one goddamn second, hyung.” Namjoon’s hands curl into fists, sliding up to cage him in. “I don't want to hang out with Hoseok right now, I want to talk to you and figure out what's wrong because something obviously is. Which is why I'm here. Because I'm your friend and I genuinely care about you."  Namjoon’s tone takes on a note of confusion.

 

"Yeah - Well, I’m saying you shouldn’t feel obligated to. I’m fine so you can just. Fuck off." Yoongi frowns right back at Namjoon, waving around his hand to the side- clothes still in hand- annoyed with Namjoon's constant invasion of his space, the way he can lean over Yoongi. Trap him so thoroughly.

"I already told you, no , I'm not pretending, Yoongi - I - fuck this." Namjoon comes to a sudden decision and leans down so their eyes are level, nose brushing his, staring directly into Yoongi's darting eyes for just a second-

 

"Namjoon, what the-"



Namjoon kisses him.

 

Yoongi grunts at the sudden press of lips against his, eyes wide. Namjoon just presses closer, hands resting lightly on Yoongi's hips over the towel, chest keeping Yoongi still against the wall. Yoongi's eyes have instinctively fallen half shut at the feeling of Namjoon's lips. Namjoon's lips are chapped against Yoongi's shower-damp ones, but it still feels like the ocean is slipping against his lips, slightly salty and yet entirely sweet.

 

Yoongi doesn't have the brain to respond for a long moment, but Namjoon still very softly dots kisses to his lips, to his nose, to his cheeks, not pulling away. It takes Yoongi's slow brain, reeling from the sudden shift in atmosphere, a disbelieving second to comprehend that Namjoon is kissing him. Namjoon, his best friend next to Hoseok, is kissing him. He can barely feel his lips, dizzy from the unexpected action. He can't think for a few seconds, let alone breathe. Namjoon keeps kissing him - is still kissing him, slowing down with hesitance as Yoongi freezes up.

 

Well. Yoongi has always been impulsive. Just look at their current employment.

He lets his mouth slip open under Namjoon's sweet, sweet ministrations, eyes falling fully closed, and kisses back just as sweetly, mixing Namjoon's salty lips with his own tangy ones. He tilts his head against Namjoon and lets his hands - previously gripping his clothes so tightly they might've torn, now gone slack with feeling - slip along Namjoon's skin like they've been wanting to do this whole time, wanting to do for a long time. One of his hands finds the small of Namjoon's back just as Namjoon's hand finds his bare waist, fingers digging into his sides.

 

Namjoon kisses more fervently and yet sweetly with every passing second and Yoongi can't help but respond with equal enthusiasm. Namjoon's tongue slides into his mouth and Yoongi can't help the little whimper he makes when the action makes his knees weak. He can barely support his own weight with the overwhelming feeling of being kissed by Namjoon, thankful for the wall at his back and Namjoon's warm presence at his chest.

 

His cheeks are flushed from more than the shower now, and Namjoon is very temptingly nibbling on his lower lip and shifting closer to Yoongi, eyes alluring like the sea in his hometown. Yoongi can't help it, he drowns.

 

When Namjoon finally pulls back from Yoongi's swollen, kiss-red lips after a time that neither of them can quantify, Yoongi can't stop himself from recklessly chasing his lips, and he doesn’t have any control over the soft whine that forces its way out of his throat. In response, Namjoon just gives him a fond smile that leaves Yoongi even more breathless than the kiss before dropping his head onto Yoongi’s small shoulder.

 

"Hyung." Namjoon breathes a warm breath into the hollow of Yoongi's neck, making him shiver violently. "Hyung, I really, really like you. We've been friends for years and I- I think, I think I might I love you."

 

Yoongi freezes.

 

He swallows and chokes on a nonexistent laugh, his mind racing. His hands tighten in Namjoon's worn-out crew neck shirt - "Namjoon -"

 

Namjoon stands up, though still stooped to be on Yoongi's level. He presses a silencing finger to Yoongi's lips - "You don't have to say anything, hyung. It's okay if you don't return my feelings - " Namjoon has a dreamy look in his eyes despite his words and Yoongi - Yoongi can't listen to any more of this, he just - he can't. "Yoongi, Hoseok and I- We want you in any way we can have you… We wouldn’t want to tie you down if you didn’t want to be - if you still want to um,” He takes a deep breath to continue but-

 

Yoongi, in one movement, pulls Namjoon's finger away from his lips so that he can press them to Namjoon's lips firmly, cutting off any more ill-thought-through words from either of them. He lets the kiss slip to something more achingly sweet as it continues. Namjoon seems to be trying to put all of his misguided feelings into the kiss and it's all Yoongi can do to stand firm against the tidal wave. It makes Yoongi tremble and Namjoon responds by being softer, stronger, pulling away only to murmur-

 

"Yoongi-hyung..." Before returning to the kiss with fervor. Namjoon hikes Yoongi's lithe body against the wall just a little more, kisses him a little firmer, angles him a little better. And just like that, Yoongi is his, not that there was ever any doubts about that.

 

Now, Yoongi takes the initiative to press his tongue into Namjoon's warm mouth and distract them both by mapping every ridge and cliff. His knees go weak and he's absurdly glad for Namjoon's invasion of his space because he surely would've fallen without it. Yoongi lets slip a moan to encourage Namjoon's calloused hands to explore his chest and unhitch his towel from his hips, to grip his thigh and hold him close.

 

Their shift causes their lips to part for an unbearable moment, but it brings Namjoon's attention to the pale, unmarked space of his neck and so Yoongi's head falls back against the wall with a thump. He sighs and moves with Namjoon's whims, inhibitions sliding away like so many water droplets from his hair, impulses clinging to him like steam on the mirror.

 

###

 

Hoseok gets home to pure silence and is immediately put on edge. Namjoon had said, before Hoseok left for his weekly hangout, that he was going to talk to Yoongi tonight, confront him about his recent behavior - his recent distance.

 

Yoongi had been avoiding them ever since the new year, and while Hoseok had his suspicions as to why Yoongi just wouldn’t come to talk to them about it. Tensions had been higher than usual with them anyway, what with their new venture into criminality, but this brought them to the breaking point. As much as Hoseok would rather not confront Yoongi like this, he couldn’t help but be grateful that Namjoon had taken that duty on while Hoseok went out to blow off steam with his dance team. It had been nice to pay for his own meal this time, to not just sip at a single beer as his cohort laughed around him. 

 

Still, he’d expected to walk in on more yelling than just… nothing. Though, Hoseok muses as he fills up a glass of water from their fridge, they’ve never had a proper fight before, mostly due to Yoongi conceding before it can even begin - whether directly or indirectly. He comes off as the confrontational type but in actuality…. Hoseok taps at his phone to thank his friends for the night out. He sets the glass down in the sink and takes the few steps down the hall only to - almost slip on discarded clothes. Hoseok groans and leans down to pick up - Yoongi’s, these are definitely Yoongi’s, going by the black theme of them - dirty clothes. Why couldn’t he have put them in their laundry basket only a few steps away in the bedroom?

 

Whatever. Hoseok clasps the clothes in one hand and his phone in the other as he opens the bedroom door. If they’re not yelling, then Hoseok supposes they must be sleeping off their emotional deficiencies instead.

 

Hoseok definitely does not expect to see them both on Yoongi's bunk, mostly naked. Yoongi is crouched over Namjoon's groin while his long fingers slide up Namjoon's torso and Namjoon arches his back beautifully, soft t-shirt rucked up around his armpits.

 

Yoongi pulls off of Namjoon's - Jesus Christ - with a wet, slick, lewd pop. There’s a dazed look in Namjoon's eyes and Yoongi’s blond hair is tangled.

Hoseok's mouth falls open as Yoong sits up, carelessly confident and obviously running on ten kinds of adrenaline and impulse, his lips turning into a salacious grin. Seductively, he slips his hands down and between Namjoon's bare thighs without care.

 

Neither of them notices Hoseok in the doorway and his sigh of mixed shock and appreciation is covered by Namjoon's moan when Yoongi pinches his thighs in between his pretty fingers and then shudders in response. Their silhouette is obscene against the small window behind them, curtains blurring the duskydark colors. The edges of Yoongi's skin is dusk painted shades of red in the light of the window, a stark contrast to the shadowed, blue-tones of Namjoon's skin under Yoongi.

 

They look so good together Hoseok almost feels bad when he clears his throat. Namjoon and Yoongi jerk away from each other and Hoseok sees a flash of fear in both of their faces, but Namjoon quickly relaxes back onto the mattress, hands finding Yoongi's supple waist in a gesture that's meant to be soothing - instead Yoongi jerks and trembles. Hoseok can see the beginnings of fear and guilt in Yoongi's eyes, his confident posture melting even under Hoseok's fond gaze. All he wants to do is see that hateful glint of fear and self-doubt banished from Yoongi’s eyes forever.

 

Hoseok licks his lips, studying the situation in his gentle manner. He takes a step towards the two, closing the door softly behind him - "You don't have to stop on my account, I was enjoying the view." Hoseok takes another step forward and he can see Yoongi shrinking mentally and physically in response - shoulders shaking under the tension.

 

Yoongi shuffles off of Namjoon’s sweaty form quickly- despite Namjoon’s grunt of protest. Namjoon’s hands loosen their grip reluctantly, even as he whines and pouts. Yoongi avoids both of their eyes as he swipes a pair of boxers hanging precariously off the edge of the bed and struggles them on, while Hoseok looks on awkwardly and Namjoon loops a non-restrictive arm around his hickey-covered chest. 

 

Namjoon bites his lip and hooks his chin on Yoongi’s shoulder, gently keeping him close, instead of letting him slip away. “Yoongi. Yoongi-hyung, it’s okay.”

 

Yoongi looks away and tries to choke out something as Namjoon tries to distract him by placing lascivious kisses on his neck. The atmosphere is taut, pulled so, so tight between the three of them. Yoongi tilts on a balance and Hoseok takes another step, close enough to touch now. Hoseok considers Yoongi for what feels like an eternity, trying to figure out what to say, “It’s okay, Yoongi.” He reassures. 

 

Yoongi gulps, eyes shifting to and away from them, “Is this really… okay?” He says, voice forcibly casual, Namjoon’s arm still loops around his neck in a choking manner, keeping him close. “I m-mean?” Yoongi’s voice fades into helplessness. Hoseok wants to reach out and touch him, his beautiful Yoongi.

 

Hoseok takes Yoongi’s hand from where it’s hiding his abdomen, tracing his fingers through calluses and lifelines. He watches Yoongi’s wide-eyed expression until their eyes meet. “Of course, Yoongi. Yoongi - I want you too, hyung.“ He says it earnestly, trying to convince him with his every word. He’s not sure he succeeds by the look in Yoongi’s eye, but Yoongi does relax ever so slightly and returns Hoseok’s grip.

 

***

 

Yoongi stares into Hoseok’s eyes, studying them carefully for regret or anger or disappointment. But he doesn’t find anything of the sort, only sharp intensity and almost… fear? Yoongi looks away. Fuck, he can’t deal with this. If this is what they want - then Yoongi will take what he can get from them. He’ll take what he can get. 

 

He's trying to convince himself that it won't mean anything afterward, that they'll continue on as ever - friends can fuck and not have feelings for each other, right? But, in his heart, he knows that there's more to this than just friends fucking, the consequences will be larger. The haze in the room, though, being held by those two who mean the most to him - more than he’s ever admitted before - makes him throw caution and hesitation to the wind and - 

 

Surge forward, kissing Hoseok roughly, filthily. He grasps the short strands of Hoseok’s hair at the base of his neck to keep him locked in the kiss, groaning as Hoseok responds. Behind them, Yoongi can feel Namjoon grin and kiss his neck.

 

Namjoon pulls Yoongi back onto the bed, Hoseok following eagerly, lips stilled locked with Yoongi’s. Hoseok moans into Yoongi’s mouth when Yoongi bucks his hips up without his control. Namjoon’s fingers find the back of his neck and twist, making him break off from Hoseok and whine uncontrollably, head on Namjoon’s shoulder. Hoseok moves to attack his newly-exposed neck with bruises as Namjoon tilts his head to kiss him strongly. 

Yoongi tries to let himself fall into the kiss, to stop thinking and enjoy the moment, kissing Namjoon back and grinding up against Hoseok sloppily. His mind goes blurry unlike ever before, nothing has ever been like this before. “Ah - ah - “ He pants as Namjoon pulls away slowly. Yoongi can’t bear the distance, chasing Namjoon’s mouth desperately. Yoongi squirms helpfully as Hoseok tugs off the boxers he had only just put on, freeing Yoongi’s hard cock to the cold air. Namjoon slides a hand around his pale chest, fiddling to find his nipples and tug lightly. Heat slips through Yoongi’s very bones at the way they touch him and hold him tight, making him groan and fall into their heated ministrations.

 

While Hoseok pulls away for a moment to unbutton his jeans, Namjoon tugs off his shirt and leans against the headboard of Yoongi’s twin-sized bed, pulling Yoongi into his bare lap, making Yoongi arch when their warm skin brushes together. Hoseok joins them again in a flash, completely exposed and warm and firm and hot against Yoongi’s back. He whimpers needily at the contact and looks up to Namjoon through his bangs, begging without words.

 

“Hm? What do you want, hyung?” Namjoon smiles coyly and caresses Yoongi’s cheek - “Our pretty hyung, all strung out for us. So beautiful - “ Namjoon interrupts himself by bending kissing Yoongi’s collarbones and down to his nipples, biting gently. 

 

“Fuck - Namjoon!” Yoongi yelps, pushing back into Hoseok’s solid body.

 

Hoseok’s breathing has become ragged with the heat in the air and he grins into Yoongi’s ear - “Oh hyungie, baby- “ His voice is so enticing and Yoongi can’t resist the pull to twist his head uncomfortably and kiss Hoseok sweetly as he frots his leaking cock against Yoongi’s back. In return, Hoseok reaches down between Namjoon and him to slick fingers along Yoongi’s rubescent length, making him cry out pitifully.

 

Namjoon bites down on Yoongi’s nipple a little harder before sucking hard then pulling off, leaving Yoongi panting for air. “Hoseok - we need - “ Yoongi has decided to retaliate, though, by latching on to Namjoon’s neck, causing him to stutter through his words- “Oh- oh- uh - Hoseokie, we- mmm, need lube.” 

“Ugh - “ Hoseok pulls away reluctantly and shuffles through his drawer in their armoire. Yoongi whines at the loss of his warmth and fingers, but Namjoon replaces them with his own, twisting around the head of Yoongi’s cock. Yoongi collapses back onto Namjoon’s chest and returns to marking him up while Hoseok comes back to the bed. Namjoon is forced to pull his fingers away when Hoseok takes control of Yoongi’s hips, however, and forces him to shuffle back so that he’s more on his knees, exposing his ass to Hoseok. Yoongi gasps when Hoseok runs a finger down his hole gently. Namjoon takes Yoongi by the chin and smiles down at him. 

 

“Baby, you doing okay? Feeling good?” Oh, Yoongi can’t stand this. A tear slips down his cheek and Yoongi stretches up for a deep kiss instead of answering. When he pulls away, purposely rubbing his head across Namjoon’s body to get rid of the wetness on his face, Yoongi goes to his elbows to kiss Namjoon’s belly button and then decides that he should probably finish what he started earlier, before Hoseok interrupted. 

 

Licking chastely at the flushed head of Namjoon’s cock, Yoongi hums to add vibrations, enjoying the way that Namjoon’s hands come down to finger the strands of his hair. He expects the pressure at his hole, but he doesn’t expect the sudden wet slick press of Hoseok’s tongue into him. Yoongi’s eyes squeeze shut and he groans at the feeling, still holding Namjoon’s big dick next to his cheek. As Hoseok settles into a rhythm of sucking and licking and pressing, adding in a finger to supplement the stretch, Yoongi dazedly regains his bearings and slides his open mouth down the thick length of Namjoon, mouthing at the base. Eventually, he works up the courage to take Namjoon fully into his mouth, sucking him down part-ways, using his hand to cup the rest. He comes up gasping for breath after pushing his gag reflex a bit too far, he really hasn’t done this in a while. He takes a deep breath and sinks down on the full length of Namjoon’s cock, feeling the surprised grip in his hair tighten as he works his throat around the length. 

 

Hoseok takes that moment to suck harshly at his rim, as Namjoon’s hand presses him further down and Yoongi groans, eyes shut tight at the feeling of the thick cock in his mouth, on his tongue. Fuck. He kinda missed this. Missed doing it with a cock like this, at least. Namjoon keeps him pressed tightly to his groin for a moment too long before letting him pull off, rasping, spit pooling out of his mouth. He stays there for another long moment, enjoying the stretch of Hoseok’s fingers and trying to catch his breath, hot puffs of air falling on Namjoon’s cock as he holds on to it as if it were an anchor. Namjoon brushes his fringe back from his eyes and coos, but Yoongi doesn’t meet his eyes. Instead, he presses his head into the space by Namjoon’s hip and shuffles back so that he can dip Hoseok’s fingers in just the right way.

 

Namjoon keeps carding his fingers through Yoongi’s hair but thankfully doesn’t demand any more attention. Yoongi doesn’t think he could focus on anything other than the tight burn of Hoseok’s long fingers as he kicks it up a notch and drills and stretches his hole.

 

But suddenly it's all too much as Hoseok kisses his spine tenderly and Namjoon whispers soft praises. He can't stand this . He leads Namjoon's hand back to his head and presses, trying to make his desire clear. He bucks his hips on Hoseok's fingers to encourage him to be rough. It works, as Hoseok pushes in without pause and Namjoon fills his mouth with his fingers, stretching his cheeks and making him drool.

 

Yoongi lets himself be taken by the haze of giving his entire self over to them. It’s nice, like this. These are the two people he trusts his life with, and Yoongi actually feels himself relax a bit. Here, they are in familiar territory. With Namjoon roughly pressing his fingers into his tongue, Hoseok giving him no rest and pressing his cock into him coarsely. Here, Yoongi knows just how to curve his back and moan around Namjoon’s fingers. How to clench and roll with the punched-out thrusts Hoseok starts with. He tries to bring a hand up to jerk Namjoon off as well, but Namjoon brushes his hand away to do it himself. 

 

Hoseok jerks Yoongi off in time with his own thrusts and Yoongi quickly reaches the edge of pleasure, stimulated from both sides, as Namjoon does as well. Namjoon comes first, angled over Yoongi’s chest. Yoongi comes at some point, though in a daze it takes him a few moments to realize the wave of pleasure washing over him. The daze continues as Hoseok pulls down one of the other blankets to wipe them all off messily before shoving it off the bed. He pulls them all in close, Hoseok nearest to the wall, with Yoongi bordering the edge of the bed, Namjoon in between them.

 

They fall asleep quickly, too exhausted to talk.

Chapter Text

Hoseok is pretty nervous when he gets home. It's been a long day, what with Yoongi's slip up at the mall and then his unexplained anger and frustration afterward.

 

 

Namjoon had said that he was planning on confronting Yoongi about his behavior tonight, not just the shit he pulled earlier, but all of the drama he's been causing these last couple weeks. Yoongi had been avoiding them, it wasn't hard to see. He avoided them and frowned when they were around and ignored them when they were trying to talk to him.

 

Furthermore, he started getting angry about the smallest things, like just last week when Hoseok let his toast burn by accident (he had been up late talking with Namjoon, so it wasn't his fault he had almost fallen asleep standing up!) or just the other day when Namjoon tripped and dropped his coffee (Hoseok had caught him about the waist and had been fondly scolding him about watching his step when Yoongi walked in and stepped on the hot coffee.)

 

 

So, suffice it to say that Hoseok wasn't exactly expecting to walk into a silent, empty apartment. He'd expected to walk in on yelling and Yoongi's fierce anger and Namjoon's frustration that he just won't listen! Maybe some plate throwing, that sort of thing. That's why he'd gone out with his friends this evening, eager to avoid as much of the yelling as he possibly could.

 

Hoseok walks through the kitchen and grabs a glass of water to clear up some of the buzz in his head from the drinks he and his friends had. He sips at it, tapping at his phone for a little, before setting it in the sink and walking to their hallway, trepidation dogging his every step.

 

He steps in front of the bathroom and quietly growls to himself at the mess of clothes on the floor. They're definitely Yoongi's. Hoseok doesn't even know how they got there. Why didn't he take them the rest of the way to the bedroom only a few steps away?

 

He's not really sure what he's expecting to see when he opens the bedroom door. He kind of expects to see Namjoon and Yoongi passed out on their beds, sleeping soundly. That's what usually happens when they deal with feelings in any measure because they're both blockheads with emotional deficiencies. At this point, he's not unused to seeing them like this, not with all of the emotional tension that's been running high in the house lately.

 

 

Hoseok definitely does not expect to see them both on Yoongi's bunk, mostly naked. Yoongi is crouched over Namjoon's groin while his long fingers slide up Namjoon's torso and Namjoon arches his back beautifully, soft t-shirt rucked up around his armpits.

 

 

Yoongi pulls off of Namjoon's - Jesus Christ - with a wet, slick, lewd pop. It seems like they've been going for a little while, if the dazed look in Namjoon's eyes and the tangled strands of Yoongi's blond hair is anything to go by.

 

Hoseok's mouth falls open as Yoongi smacks his lips with a salacious grin, sitting up, carelessly confident and running on ten kinds of adrenaline and impulses. Seductively, he slips his hands down and between Namjoon's bare thighs without a care.

 

Neither of them notices him in the doorway and his sigh of mixed shock and appreciation is covered by Namjoon's moan when Yoongi pinches his thighs in between his pretty fingers and shudders in response to the noise Namjoon makes. Their silhouette is obscene against the small window behind them, curtains blurring the duskydark colors. The edges of Yoongi's skin is dusk painted shades of red in the light of the window, a stark contrast to the shadowed, blue-tones of Namjoon's skin under Yoongi.

 

They look so good together Hoseok almost feels bad when he clears his throat, running a suddenly sweaty hand through his hair. Namjoon and Yoongi jerk away from each other and Hoseok sees a flash of fear in both of their faces, but Namjoon quickly relaxes back onto the mattress, hands finding Yoongi's supple waist in a gesture that's meant to be soothing even as Yoongi's shivers increase in a not good way.

 

Hoseok can see the beginnings of fear and guilt in Yoongi's eyes, his confident posture melting even under Hoseok's fond gaze. All he wants to do is see that hateful glint of fear and self-doubt banished from Yoongi’s eyes forever -

 

Hoseok licks his lips, studying the situation in his gentle manner. He takes a step towards the two, closing the door softly behind him - "You don't have to stop on my account, I was enjoying the view."

 

Yoongi quickly recovers from his haze of arousal-turned-guilt when Hoseok speaks, shuffling off of Namjoon’s sweaty form despite his grunt of protest. Namjoon's hands loosen their grip on his waist, letting him move as he pleases even as Namjoon frowns, laying back on the pillows and whining a little.

 

Yoongi avoids both of their eyes and grabs a pair of boxers off the floor that are definitely Namjoon's, struggling to put them on even as Namjoon turns over in the bed and loops a non-restrictive arm around his hickey and bite-marked covered chest. Hoseok takes another step forward and he can see Yoongi shrinking mentally and physically in response - shoulders shaking under the tension.

 

Namjoon bites his lip, hooking his chin on Yoongi's shoulder, gently preventing him from moving any further than to put Namjoon's boxers on. "Hyung," Namjoon whispers, "Hyung, it's okay."

 

Both of them know that Yoongi has the tendency to overthink when given the chance. Namjoon and Hoseok make it their mission to pull him out of his head before he comes to the wrong conclusions and shuts down whenever it happens, and it's even more important that they manage it this time, before their whole relationship is fucked up and they lose their closest friend. Hoseok puts on a smile, "Seriously, don't let me interrupt, Yoongi-hyung." He takes another step.

 

Yoongi tries to interrupt him, "Hoseokie- I- I," he chokes as Namjoon places lascivious kisses on his neck. The atmosphere is taut, so sharp you could cut it with a knife. Yoongi tilts on a balance and Hoseok takes another step, close enough to touch now. Yoongi considers him for what seems like an eternity.

 

“Is-” Yoongi gulps, “is this really-- okay? Are we all-- okay? - with this-” he gestures with his other hand, curtailed by Namjoon’s arm still loose around his chest- “I mean?” He seems so hesitant and it pains Hoseok to see Yoongi fearful in contrast to his usually strong personality.

 

Hoseok sucks in a breath at the way Yoongi's eyes find his, "Yeah- Yeah, of course I'm okay with this." Hoseok has no idea what he looks like right now, but he must look a right mess and it's all because Yoongi just looks so good.

 

His hair is tugged out of order thanks to Namjoon's large hands grabbing it just minutes earlier. His lips are still a fucked-out red and his eyes are dilated. He looks amazing. Namjoon isn't much better, his hair out of place thanks to his own hands and Yoongi's contribution, neck marked with Yoongi's teeth and tongue.

 

Yoongi's lips purse slightly, "Oh-Okay."

 

Hoseok licks his lips, "Are you sure-- are you sure you're okay with this, Yoongi, you don-" Hoseok winces, he doesn't even want to give Yoongi the chance to refuse, knowing that Yoongi might overthink it but- he also knows that if Yoongi does this with them and then regrets it, it'll be worse than leaving these feelings to stew in his heart. "You don't have to agree with what you think we want just because you think you'll lose us if you don't do it."

 

Yoongi frowns at the all-too-accurate assessment of his thought process and closes his eyes, tries to think about this, think about the consequences and what will change after this night. Has already changed because of his actions with Namjoon so far. There's no point in denying himself now. Besides, Hoseok looks so, so good and Namjoon is there, and so, so warm against his back-

 

 

He's trying to convince himself that it won't mean anything afterward, that they'll continue on as ever, the eternal trio. Friends fuck all the time, he rationalizes.

 

But, in his heart, he knows that they aren't really that sort of friend anymore, may never have been. Not after Namjoon's confession, not after Yoongi had admitted his own feelings. There's more to this than just friends fucking, the consequences will be larger. But- the fact that they're both here, here for him, is kind of an intoxicating feeling. A feeling Yoongi can't get enough of, wants more of. Under the haze in the room, he barely manages to spare a legitimate thought to the consequences.

 

 

Yoongi lets his eyes open to look Hoseok in the eye before letting his head loll to the side to give Namjoon's soft, still-chapped lips more access to his neck, "I want this." He says.

 

And that's that, their friendship is forever changed. Hopefully for the better.

 

Namjoon can't help the little whimper that spills from his lips at the action. He now has a pliant, totally willing Yoongi right in front of him and it's euphoric. Yoongi's shoulders slump under his attention and an involuntary groan makes its way out of his throat. Yoongi reaches out with a hand, cupping Hoseok’s face tentatively, tenderly, unsure if he can touch Hoseok.

 

Hoseok, quick to reassure, eager to keep Yoongi's touch, places a hand over his and nuzzles into the combined hands a little. Namjoon's arms tighten around Yoongi's stomach as he nuzzles into his neck and it's so soft and Yoongi can feel himself fully relaxing in their arms.

 

He's surrounded by his best friends. By the people he loves. Yoongi's mind is in a fog, and he bites his lip to try to bring himself out of it, slipping his hand around Hoseok's jaw to lock long fingers behind the curve, bringing him closer, closer, always closer.

 

And so, when they've graduated from friendship to something more, in the middle of the night when it's silent and the only light is Namjoon's laptop on the dresser, and they're reveling in the newfound feelings of them - Yoongi kisses Hoseok. Then Hoseok leans over him and kisses Namjoon. Then Yoongi twists to capture Namjoon's lips and honestly, it's a shocker that they hadn't done this earlier.

 

They all just fit so well together like this. They're all their own people with different goals and they rub each other the wrong way sometimes but, god, they're good to each other, good for each other. Just. Good together.

 

Yoongi can feel it in his very bones that shake as Hoseok touches him, that they're not his destination. They're his journey. As sappy as he feels thinking it, the universe moved to bring them all together in that practice room in the middle of the night, and he couldn't be more grateful. Fuck the chances of irrevocably changing their relationship for the worse, Hoseok and Namjoon are worth taking the chance.

 

It starts like this: Hoseok, Namjoon, and Yoongi cannot resist the pull of fate. They become friends slowly, steal quickly, and love strongly. They fall into bed together through choice, though. Unaffected by destiny. In the lives that they so often cannot control, they can control this. They can control themselves and their love for each other. They don't have much else.

Chapter Text

 

Yoongi relishes the feeling of being loved and contained in between skinny arms while Namjoon pulls Yoongi back onto the bed and Hoseok follows eagerly, moaning into the kiss he and Yoongi are sharing. Yoongi's hips are suddenly not his to control and he bucks up against Hoseok. Namjoon's fingers find his hair and twist harshly, making him break off of Hoseok's lips and whine uncontrollably. Hoseok moves to attack his neck, mirroring Namjoon's bruises on his shoulders.

 

Heat slips through Yoongi's very bones, and he loops his hands around Hoseok's waist, pulling him closer so they can grind against each other - Hoseok's jeans on Yoongi's borrowed boxers. His mouth opens in ecstasy when Hoseok finds his sweet spot right behind his ear and Namjoon slides a smooth hand around to his front, fiddling around his chest.

The teasing torture that he receives from both sides is almost too much, Hoseok's hips grinding his down as Namjoon rocks up against him in return. Yoongi can't feel anything besides the aching in his bones and he tries to convey this to them both with a needy whimper, frantically tugging at Hoseok's shirt and rolling his hips back against Namjoon's.

 

It takes a little bit of maneuvering for them all to get fully on Yoongi's twin-sized bunk bed but they manage it with only a minor head bump on Namjoon's part. Namjoon's left to lean against the headboard, eyes half-lidded and inviting while Yoongi and Hoseok struggle to remove Hoseok's clothes and Yoongi's boxers. Namjoon lazily shakes off the shirt from earlier, enjoying the slowly revealed skin broken every few moments by Hoseok or Yoongi stealing a kiss from the other.

When Hoseok is down to his boxers, and Yoongi has already shuffled his off, he gives up on watching and slips a hand down his stomach. Neither notice until a small, barely contained moan frees itself from his bitten lips. Then they both turn their attention to him.

 

And what focused attention it is. Namjoon will be the first to admit that he's not as experienced as either of them but he's not shy when it comes to enjoying himself. Under the combined attentions of Yoongi and Hoseok, he melts like chocolate.

 

-



Lying, fucked-out and tired, at the head of the bed watching Yoongi give all he's got to Hoseok, to both of them. Namjoon feels like he's in a bit of a dream.

 

It's obvious that Hoseok feels the same way with the way his eyes are rolling back in his head as he tries to contain himself when Yoongi goes down on him. Namjoon knows for a fact that Yoongi's talented with his mouth, has watched him rap and eat and lick his lips a few too many times perhaps. He was even on the receiving end of that tongue not an hour ago and he'll be honest, if Hoseok hadn't interrupted when he had, Namjoon would've found himself boneless and brain-dead, he's sure.

 

Speaking of, Hoseok collapses in a heap next to Namjoon on the pillows, a smug and satisfied Yoongi sleepily crawling his way to sneak in between them. Namjoon remembers that Yoongi gets cold easily, and with the sudden chill that's been settling in recently, he'll be complaining for sure if he wakes up cold. He makes room for Yoongi in between his furnace heat and Hoseok's warming arms, jostling all of them until he can grab the blanket without to much trouble and bring it up over their shoulders. Yoongi whines softly, shuffling his feet and intertwining them with Hoseok's, who coos at the sweetness of the gesture. "I want round two later," he says, nuzzling into Namjoon's chest.

 

Namjoon can feel the sweet, deep chuckles that come from Hoseok as he murmurs in return, "Sure, hyung. Just go to sleep." Hoseok places a kiss to Yoongi's freckled shoulder and leans over to lick into Namjoon's mouth until Namjoon whimpers and pulls away, heat flushing his cheeks. Yoongi just grumbles in his sleep between them. Namjoon places a soft kiss on his forehead to calm him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

 

Twenty minutes later finds Yoongi looking smug over a moaning Hoseok as he rides him for all he's worth.

 

-

 

In the morning, when Yoongi wakes up, it's a lazy, languid feeling that greets him, settled deep in his bones like honey. He's contained between Namjoon's and Hoseok's warmth quite happily and he doesn't really want to get up. He supposes that he doesn't have to just yet...

 

When he wakes up, Hoseok is gone from the bed while Namjoon still has him caged in his arms. Namjoon snuffles sleepily into the back of Yoongi neck and Yoongi snorts before gently extracting himself from Namjoon's gangly arms. He slides out of bed and takes whatever pair of boxers he first comes to, ignoring the slight smell and tugging them on regardless.

 

He shuffles into the kitchen, hand loosely linked around his waist, just a little bit self-conscious even though he has no reason to be. Not after last night.

 

Last night.

 

It was so much, so good. Yoongi almost couldn't believe it. If not for the dark marks littering his neck and hips, he wouldn't believe it. It's not like he had fantasized about this before, what sort of weirdo thinks about having sex with their best friends? He's not complaining though. In the back of his mind, maybe, just maybe, Yoongi had thought about it. In passing, by accident. They've been living together for a long time and have been friends for even longer, so it's not like they've never been each other's wing-man or whatever, it's not like they've never taken people home and had to sleep in the studio or in the living room.

 

The walls are thin around here. It's hard not to hear.

So, it's weird, and strange, and uncomfortable when Yoongi stumbles into the kitchen, shirtless and tired. Hoseok is there making breakfast, scrambled eggs and leftover kimchi fried rice. It's their usual hangover food, but this isn't a hangover. There's no alcohol-headache to explain last night. He wonders if Hoseok and Namjoon think it was a mistake. They said they loved him, but did they think the same now? In the bright dawn light?

 

"Hyung!" Hoseok calls out, having turned when he heard his footsteps in the doorway. "How are you feeling? You want some food?" His sunshine-bright smile reassures Yoongi for now.

 

"I'm... good. Yeah, can I have some of that?" Yoongi answers uncertainly, taking a seat at the rickety kitchen table.

 

"Gladly, it'll be ready in a few. Is Namjoon still asleep?" Yoongi nods and sets his head down on his elbows. “Did we tire you out?” Hoseok asks, not a little bit smug. His words cause Yoongi to blush and turn his head to stare at their shitty laminated table.

 

A hand warms the back of neck in a calm but dominating gesture “Hm? Did we tire you out, baby? Were me ‘n Joonie too much for you, baby boy?”

 

A muffled “Fuck You.” Escapes the blushing mess that is Yoongi as even his neck turns a bright red under Hoseok’s hand.

 

Hoseok laughs and hums, squeezing his neck once before releasing it and stepping back to the fried rice he’s cooking. “You did that last night, remember?” Yeah, Yoongi remembers. Sandwiched between Namjoon and Hoseok, brain fuzzy and so far down he couldn’t string two words together. Ugh. Last night was so embarrassing, he let himself fall down so far because he trusts Namjoon and Hoseok, but maybe it was too much. He can’t help the rise of insecurities within him, but before it gets too bad, Namjoon stumbles in and drapes himself over Yoongi’s shoulders like it’s nothing. Like the contact doesn’t mean the world to Yoongi.

 

“G’morning hyungs,” Namjoon says sleepily. Yoongi huffs and wiggles his shoulders to slide him off.

 

“Good morning, Joonie. Did you sleep alright?” Hoseok asks cheerfully. Namjoon nods and sits in one of the rickety wooden chairs, hand on Yoongi’s thigh.

 

“Hey, Yoongi-hyung. How are you feeling?” Namjoon asks softly, nudging him out from his hiding place between his elbows.

 

Yoongi grunts and lifts his head only to say, “I’m fine.” Namjoon hums and watches Yoongi put his head back in his arms. Unbeknownst to Yoongi, Namjoon opens his mouth as if to say something before looking behind him to share a look with Hoseok.

 

He closes his mouth and lets the room stay silent.

Chapter Text

They don’t really talk about it. They fuck on every surface in their home within the week. Between that and classes and just generally trying to survive, none of them have the time for that emotionally taxing conversation.

 

More like Yoongi won’t make the time for that conversation. Whenever he’s at home he Hoseok or Namjoon away into bed or onto the couch or against the counter or anywhere, really. They know he’s trying to avoid conversation, but they really can’t resist it when Yoongi hums and widens his legs a little bit more, whines a little brattier, lifts his shirt up a little bit more.

 

So they don’t talk.

 

Instead, they hang around shopping malls and city squares, where people are loose with their money. They lounge around and browse the shelves and window shop and pickpocket and shoplift. It’s easy to ignore the underlying tension between them when they’re focusing on not getting caught.

 

The last week has been uneventful, for the most part. But it’s exactly that peace that puts Namjoon on edge. He yawns, tired from the emotional tension between the three of them. It’s a lazy day in the young part of the city and none of them want to do any work, thanks to their big haul on Saturday night - what with lots of young chaebols out with friends or escorts all looking for a good time.

 

Rich kids, intoxicated and distracted by their beautiful escorts, make easy targets.

 

It’s pretty quiet here because it’s Sunday and most people are at home relaxing before going back to their 9 to 5 jobs on Monday. Namjoon scoffs quietly to himself, What a joke. When his father was still alive, even for a time afterward when he still believed in his siblings, Namjoon thought that he would inevitably end up in a 9 to 5 job as a corporate lackey. This, however, Namjoon wouldn’t give this up for anything now that he has it.

 

He's here with his best friends not worried about whether his boss likes him or not. He has classes to worry about, but even that isn’t too much of a concern to Namjoon. He tries not to worry about it, so as to not fall into the pit of despair that’s always nipping at his heels. After he was excluded from the will, Namjoon learned that he can’t plan for the future without being swallowed by that black pit, that there are just too many variables to deal with. For now, though, he enjoys the quiet of the city.

 

The quiet of the city square is interrupted by a shout that makes all three of them look up, startled.

 

“HEY, DICKWAD!” There’s an auburn-haired kid who's running in their direction, but Namjoon doesn’t recognize him at all. He turns away quickly, avoiding the boy by turning to Hoseok and Yoongi, both propped up against the concrete wall of some tall shopping center.

 

The kid yells again. “You! With the stupid hat!” At this, Yoongi glances up once from his cheap, useful phone and frowns. Namjoon looks around the square for anyone else the kid could be talking to, but Yoongi's the only one around that’s wearing a hat right now. Just their luck.

 

The kid approaches and stops directly in front of them. Namjoon sighs, fuck.

 

Yoongi opens his mouth to speak, but the kid is quicker, stomping up to them and pointing accusingly. “You-” he waves the finger around to all of them - “You assholes ruined a perfectly good evening! It was all going great! But no-”

 

They all look innocently affronted at this, trying to look as if they're just normal college students who wouldn't hurt a fly. “Kid, I dunno what the fuck you think you’re talking about.” Yoongi refutes angrily.

 

“You assholes stole my mark’s wallet!” This startles Namjoon and he tenses, at the accusation. Hoseok and Yoongi both look ready to run as well.

 

“Listen, we don’t know a Mark, and we definitely didn’t take his wallet. Watch who you’re accusing, kid.” Yoongi tries to misdirect the kid’s attention.

 

The brat is not taking any of his snark or feigned ignorance, “No, my mark , as in my target. Well, his name was Mark as well, but that’s not the point! The point is, you guys ruined my perfect evening by stealing his wallet before we even reached the restaurant! He was even nice this time, wasn’t an asshole, didn’t grope me once, it was great!” Namjoon frowns in consternation.

 

Hoseok frowns and puts a hand out to try and calm the kid down, “Kid, none of us have anything to do with your date’s wallet being stolen - seriously-”

 

He’s interrupted by a cutting motion across the neck from the annoying kid, “Cut the shit, dude. I know you stole his wallet, I just want it back. I’m not going to report you.” He scoffs.

 

Namjoon thinks that he knows where this is going but - “Why not?”

“You heard me say mark , right?” The kid looks at Namjoon like he thinks he’s dumb. Namjoon rolls his eyes and his lip curls in response.

“I heard you well enough, but you don’t look like-”

 

“What? Like a pickpocket? Like you guys do? Raggedy and creepy, just standing here for no reason?” This kid is really getting on Namjoon's nerves and he sees Yoongi sneer out of the corner of his eye, aggressively leaning forward. Hoseok frowns at the kid but places a calming hand on Yoongi's shoulder regardless.

 

"Well, that's just rude. You definitely look like an escort, just so you know," Namjoon says, a little nastily, gesturing to the boy's subtly skimpy outfit. The shirt is loose on his shoulders, revealing collarbones and the jeans are so ripped they kind of seem useless and he's obviously wearing fishnets underneath them. It's hard not to find him attractive when Namjoon suspects that it's his job to be alluring.

 

"That's because I am, asshole. Now give me back the wallet or I start yelling thief, I swear to god." His blatant statement makes Namjoon's jaw drop a little. The escort taps his foot, "Right now." He holds out his hand- "I saw some police on my way over here and I think they'd be happy to help me out."

 

They all share a glance. Namjoon raises an eyebrow at Yoongi, who had been the one doing most of the work last night. Yoongi shrugs carelessly, "I dunno if I still have it." He turns to the demanding kid in their midst, "We usually dump the wallets at home and just keep the cash." He doesn't sound bothered.

 

The kid groans and lets his head roll back in annoyance, "Fine, just give me the money then. $500. Don't lie, I know you have it." He crosses his arms with one hand out in a demanding gesture.

Yoongi and Namjoon give the kid a long glance. "We actually don't keep any more than like, $50 on us," Namjoon says, and Yoongi can’t help but sneer-

 

"Yeah, don't you know these streets are dangerous? You should be careful, kid."

 

“Don’t call me that. My name’s Jimin.” He gives all three of them an exasperated look. “Just - Look. Take me to your apartment and give me the money. Then I can leave and we don’t have to see each other ever again.”

Yoongi groans, “Fine then! Let’s go!” Honestly, Namjoon thinks Yoongi would agree to murder at this point to get rid of the kid. He takes off at a fast pace and the kid spins to follow him.

 

Hoseok and Namjoon share a weary glance before following them. It’s been a long week.

"COME ON!" Yoongi yells and Namjoon and Hoseok rush to follow.

 

The walk is silent except for a couple angry huffs from Yoongi and Jimin. Namjoon sighs, walking behind the two, looking at them forlornly. Namjoon speeds up to walk between them, long legs easily keeping up with the two shorter people.

 

He shifts his weight forward while trying to keep up with them, leaning so he can see the kid's face better. He's interested and, well, he's a strategist at heart. Plans are whirling around his head and this could be good, this could be very good - “Jimin’s a nice name, do you have a last name?"

 

"Yeah." Jimin looks a little defensive and uncomfortable, but that just reassures Namjoon that he's been given Jimin's real name instead of some sort of street name.

 

Namjoon shrugs, he can work with that. He's accustomed to dealing with Yoongi's defensiveness when confronted with a feeling, so he doesn't get upset at the curt response. "What made you become an escort?" It's an intrusive question, but Namjoon’s willing to take the risk.

 

He gets a, "None of your business, piss off." Which, to be honest, he kind of expected. And the kid speeds up his pace to pass Namjoon, following Yoongi.

 

Thoroughly shut down and knowing how to pick his battles, Namjoon falls back to walk side by side with Hoseok, who nudges him supportively. Namjoon just hangs his head in response. The rest of the walk to their apartment is silent.

-

 

"You live here?" Jimin says skeptically.

 

"Yes, I think I know where I live, brat." Yoongi returns vitriolically.

 

"I told you my name like 15 minutes ago, asshole." Jimin's annoyed tone makes Namjoon's slowly building headache grow spike, and he puts a hand to his forehead, rubbing forlornly.

 

"No, you didn't," Yoongi refutes childishly, face all a storm, even while he unlocks their door with a code, pressing hard on the 1 and the 3 twice, and holds it open for Jimin, gesturing exaggeratedly.

 

"Fuck you," Jimin says easily, smiling smugly, sliding in the doorway and Namjoon and Hoseok follow, sharing more looks, and glancing at Yoongi worriedly. Yoongi mutters something dismissive, shaking his head to Hoseok's questioning glance and lingering hand.

 

Yoongi brushes past Jimin in the foyer with force and leads the way up the stairs instead of their rickety elevator. He unlocks their door and slams his way inside, stalking into their bedroom out of view of Jimin, Namjoon, and Hoseok in the small living room. He grabs the money box below his bunk and flicks off $500, grumbling all the while. The quicker he gets this asshole out of here, the quicker he can forget about him.

 

He growls quietly as he loses counts and restarts. Jimin just burst into a peaceful day where he was going to hang out with his best friends (boyfriends? friends with benefits?) and thoroughly ruined it. Stupid annoying, attractive, demanding, stupid, pretty, cute escort. He shouldn’t be feeling this strongly over a small inconvenience. He’s probably just tense from all the emotions that’ve been running wild in his brain recently.

 

“- Hey-” Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

 

Yoongi jerks to look up at Jimin, “What do you want, I’m getting you your stupid money.”

 

Jimin sighs, “I wanted to apologize, I’m sorry for being so difficult about this, but I was gonna use the extra cash I got from that job to take my boyfriend out on a nice date.” Yoongi can feel his heart squeeze tightly for some reason, not in sympathy.

 

Yoongi closes his eyes and raises a hand to squeeze the bridge of his nose. “It’s - whatever.” Looking Jimin straight in the eyes, he sighs and lifts the money, handing it to Jimin. “Just. Get out of here.”

 

Jimin stands and leaves out the front door with a frown, passing Namjoon and Hoseok on his way out, brushing them lightly with his shoulder. Yoongi turns away at the slammed door. Goddamn, he needs a drink.

 

-

 

Thankfully, most of the people who are at the bar on Sunday night don’t want to talk.

 

Confused, lonely, and sorrowful, Yoongi can only down another glass as visions of a future without Namjoon, without Hoseok, flash before his eyes. Thinking of a future without them is impossible, so it drifts to him unbidden in a glass of sorrows. Tonight, his glass is filled with Aberfeldy whiskey, Namjoon, Hoseok, Himself, and a blonde escort named Jimin.

 

The bartender, a tall dude with a button up that tucks perfectly into a slim waist, gives him a look when he gestures for another glass of whiskey. He’s splurging a little bit on the whiskey, even though they just took a hard hit with the $500. “This is your last one. Do you wanna talk about it?” The annoying, nosy, awful bartender comments, grabbing his glass.

 

Yoongi snorts, “Fuck off.” The bartender snatches the glass back. Yoongi pouts.

 

“OK. Nevermind, you’re not getting this until you talk about it.” This guy is really starting to piss Yoongi off.

 

“What? No! What the hell, dude? I paid for that!”

 

“No, you haven’t yet. You’ve got a tab going. So start talking. And don’t think about going anywhere else, I know I’m the only bar in town that has the whiskey you like.” The bartender sounds so smug.

 

“Fine, I’ll- I’ll just go home then!” Yoongi slurs, drunkenly, but the bartender grins like that was his original goal and Yoongi hates the idea that he’s giving that asshole the satisfaction- “I - whatever! I slept with my roommates a week ago after they cornered me and confessed and it’s so weird now. We haven’t talked about it yet because I refuse to. As long as I don’t talk to them about it then it could go either way, it’s like Schroedinger's cat… I could lose them forever or… I could just not talk to them.” Yoongi shakes his head, “How fucking likely is it that my roommates - who I’ve known for years - really return my feelings? That they actually return my feelings and never told me ? I would be delusional to believe that they actually liked me. Fuck, even the possibility that only one of them has minor feelings for me is laughable - “

 

“- Humanity is not dictated by statistics -” the bartender tries to interject, but Yoongi, finally letting it all out, is not to be stopped.

 

“And then, today!” Yoongi almost shouts, “Today we met this stupidly attractive asshole who ruined my day and made me feel even worse - because isn’t it enough that I have serious feelings for my two best friends? But am I such a whore I can’t even keep my legs shut? I shouldn’t be having feelings for someone else when I’m committed to my friends…” Yoongi sighs.

 

“I’m aware of all my problems and that the way I’m handling them is unhealthy, I just don’t have the confidence to fix them so I never will until pushed to the edge. Happy?” Yoongi grabs the shot of whiskey and knocks it back.

 

The bartender frowns, “No, I’m not. You’re aware of these issues and you know how to fix them but you won’t. Why not? Surely, the payoff outweighs the risk?”

 

Yoongi thumps a hand on the bar, “If you want me to talk more you gotta give me more whiskey.”

 

The guy laughs, “Oh, no, you can’t trick me like that, mister. Have a nice night.”