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“It’s not like you to ruin anything”

Yeah and Bates felt like openly weeping. God the amount of times he’d replayed that - figuratively and literally - since they’d broken up and was apparently enough to drive him mad…unless this was how he was going to end up mad? Oh no was he going mad? This was harder than he thought to resolve this.

Should he call Katie? Peter? No they were still sorting out their own thing, call Bink? No she was still sorting out herself, he didn’t want to disturb her time with Annie either. And he still hadn’t apologised yet. At all. Maybe that should come first. 

God, he couldn’t even call Millie right now. 

Bates remembered another party not that long ago with more than disastrous results, had he ruined this one for the girls like that? He hoped not. 

 

“It’s not like you to ruin anything” 

Emphasis on the ruin.

After New Years he’d wanted to talk to G….leeson, figure out what happened or at least get him to understand his view point some more, work on being friends again. Sort it out.

That clearly hadn’t worked. 

And then he’d arrived with his new best buddy. Bates had really wanted to hate him, but this was the first time he’s seen his childhood friend happy in months, and it hurt because it hadn’t come from him. The green eyed monster had then truly come a-knocking. 

 

What else could he have done? Kept his feelings locked tight into his chest And after Gleeson yelled at him! Him! Well maybe he started some of it having been so infuriated at the new person he’d brought in with him and how he just..wouldn’t talk to him but did that really matter right now?

Immediately after he’d uploaded it, he had regretted it, he’d been fueled by rage and hurt..and put up the worst version of himself, while also broadcasting Katie’s drama. That wasn’t his to upload. 

Yet he’d chosen to do that. Was Gleeson right, had he really been that lost for words lately so the worst came out instead of the best? Was he really ‘emotionally unavailable’?

This needed to hurt less

Last year had felt so much like magic - even with all the pining and the Katie/Peter - it was inclusive, it was supportive and they’d had each other, they’d had their backs, sure they’d had that fight but they’d worked their way through it so when they broken up he thought they could do the same again. He was sure he had heard both hearts shattering. 

He hated the feeling he carried round with him, one day hopefully it could stop He didn’t think it would just yet, if only.

 

Either he could decided to leave it, pray it went away and continue life without him in it..or he could start accepting his part in the breakup and admit his words, and try to fix things. It wouldn’t be easy but there had always been a reason for second chances, and why he’d always liked them so much.

After all of this..he just wanted someone to hang around with, chat too..he just wanted his best friend back.

“It;s not like you to ruin anything”

It had been like an echo these few months but now? Now he knew what to do.

This time, this time he wouldn’t ruin anything.