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Tequila-Fueled Takedown

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Come to the cantina there’s a guy here being an asswipe and he won’t leave me alone

Cassian’s nights off were few and far between, so when he put his book down to check the text on his phone, he certainly didn’t expect to have to get up and address this.

We both know you don’t need me to fend off creepers, Jyn.

No shit Andor I want you to come over and bear witness when I murder him

He sighed. Are you planning to actually murder a man this time, or are you just exaggerating?

Just come to the bar Cassian. I haven’t seen you in almost a week anyway

Then, I miss you.

She wasn’t wrong- they’d been on a few dates over the past month, but their schedules made it hard for them to be anything serious. It just seemed weird to spend his free time at a bar when he could just as easily be in the comforting silence of his apartment doing things without drunk college kids getting in his way.

He did miss her too, though.

She sent another text. Pleaseeeeeee?

He rolled his eyes. Yeah yeah, be there in 20

Cassian got up, grabbed his keys and his favorite leather jacket, and was almost out the door when he heard his flatmate call out to him.

“Heading out as well, Cassian?”

He turned to look at his tall, strawberry-blonde friend. It looked like he was also on his way out.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, looking him up and down. “Why are you so dressed up, Kay? Where are you going?”

Kay looked almost offended that Cassian would think of his roommate as having no social life. “The bar. Bodhi asked me to meet up with him for something called a ‘rap battle’ for ‘open mic night’? I don’t know what that is, but he asked me to come and support him, so as his friend I feel obliged to go.”

Cassian nodded thoughtfully; he didn’t know Bodhi was into that sort of stuff. “Hmm. The more you know,” he mused, then took a step out but held the door open for Kay. “I’m going there, too; might as well walk together.”

Kay gave a curt nod and stepped out with him. “Might this be because of Jyn?”

He ran his tongue over his teeth as he locked the apartment door. “I figured I should go out to see her. It’s been a week.”

“Just as well then,” Kay responded. “I, for one, am just thankful that you haven’t made the decision to engage in sexual acts at the apartment.”

Cassian choked on his spit.

Kay’s eyes glanced to the side, observing his shorter friend. “Am I to understand that you guys haven’t done anything of the sort just yet?”

“Is this the kind of stuff you and Bodhi talk about?” Cassian countered, trying to change the subject.

The exhale from Kay’s nose indicated a scoff of amusement. “It could be, but I’m too analytical to give comforting sexual advice to that man. At any rate, I do not, as they say, ‘drive on that side of the road’.”

Cassian remembered this analogy. He smiled knowingly. “Because you don’t drive at all.”


“Well,” Cassian started, reaching up to put an arm around Kay’s shoulder, “You’re a good friend for coming out to see him. Meanwhile, I have no idea what Jyn is up to. I’m actually worried I’ll have to bail her out of jail based on the texts I got from her.”

“Do try and be careful, Cassian- she does have a wild reputation after all.”

A chuckle escaped Cassian’s throat as he thought back to his teenage years. “I honestly think that’s why we’re good for each other.”

Kay arched an eyebrow. “You would think, then, that the relationship would be a little more serious by now.”

Cassian had to admit- Kay’s words weren’t always helpful, but they certainly were truthful.

It’s not that they hadn’t had the time to do anything more than holding hands and the occasional kiss. But it was difficult for either of them to set time aside to even discuss being ready about getting serious, let alone having sex. That’s not to say that his mind was completely empty of fantasies of rutting his hips against her on all-fours or sucking on the pulse point of her neck until she rang out a soft moan, however. Rather, it just seemed like they weren’t quite at that place yet, and he was willing to wait.

Still, the wait was hard sometimes and a hand can only do so much.

He shook the thoughts out of his mind and cleared his head as he pulled the doors to The Cantina open, and almost immediately regretted even trying to sweep his dirty thoughts away.

Jyn was further in, leaning up against the bar and staring out at the stage. She was chewing at the straw in her drink- a Midori sour, her choice of drink when she preferred not to get plastered for the night. Cassian licked his lips as he wondered if her lips would taste just as sweet.

No, snap out of it, you guys aren’t in that place yet, he scolded himself.

When Kay separated from Cassian to look for Bodhi, he took a few steps towards Jyn, taking in her outfit. High-waisted black denim shorts, frayed at the legs. A white shirt with a band’s album cover printed on it, ending just above the legs of her shorts, the sleeves removed and the sides lowered to reveal the sides of her bright red bra. Her black leather boots came up above her ankles, and the laces looked a little loose. Her hand reached up to adjust her black knit beanie, which sagged at the back of her head, just above her signature off-to-the-side bun.

Normally, their dates called for more formal attire, and their coffee dates usually involved wearing whatever outfit they wore to work.

This look, totally new to him, was a brand-new level of A-game in his eyes, and it took his breath away.

He was just about to greet her when her eyes flicked towards him, and she turned her head with a bright smile. “I was beginning to wonder when you’d show up!” she said, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Cassian rested his hands on her hips and kissed her softly, unable to stop grinning. “You’re just impatient, Jyn; you know I’ll be there when you need me.”

Jyn took a deep breath. “Good, because I might have gotten myself into some shit.”

Cassian threw his head back a bit and eyed down at her. “What did you do this time?”

Her eyes widened with feigned shock. “’This time’? How dare you insinuate that I could ever get into-“

The squint in his eyes told her that he wasn’t going to fall for it.

“Some guy was talking shit about Bodhi and it was psyching him out, so I might have mouthed off and…got sucked into the rap battle on his behalf.”

Cassian’s eyes went from squint to shock in a split second. “Why…” He was so genuinely surprised by her news that the next words out of his mouth seemed like a more likely scenario with his girlfriend: “Murdering the shit-talker would’ve been easier, you know.”

Jyn dropped her head and let it crash into his chest. “I know, I know! And I’ve only had one drink! I am so not ready for this.”

“You might be in over your head, Jyn. This is, by far, the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

She threw her head back up and stared straight into Cassian’s eyes, a mix of defiance and fear melting into her features. “Bodhi’s too nervous now and doesn’t think he can win. He’s gone sick in the loo right now so I offered to take his place. I can’t let him be humiliated.”

Cassian smiled down at her. She always was quite the fighter, a tight, wound-up ball of energy that could prove dangerous when provoked.

He just wasn’t sure if that applies for verbal fighting.

“Buy you a drink to calm the nerves, then?” he offered.

Jyn mulled over the idea, nodding slowly. “Yeah, a drink…I could use that.” She pulled away from him and waved down the bartender. “Can I have a shot of tequila? With a lime, please.” She gestured to Cassian. “It’s on him, so you can start a tab. Oh! And the tallest glass of the sweetest juice you got.”

He tilted his head in confused amusement. “Tequila? Really? How is that going to help? Didn’t you say tequila always made you frisky?”

She threw back the shot and sucked on the lime before turning to him and said, “’Risky,’ my dear, not ‘frisky’.” She then wiped her mouth with her arm. “Okay, both. It’s a bit of both.”

Cassian arched an eyebrow. “So which is it going to be tonight?”

Jyn smirked at him and he swore he could see her tongue flicker out to wet the corner of her mouth. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

He bit his tongue. She was being such a tease tonight, and it wasn’t fair. Between her outfit and her gazes and smirks, this side of Jyn tonight felt so naughty that he swore it was downright criminal.

“Hey princess, when are you gonna stop eye-fucking that boy at the bar and come over and throw it down?”

Cassian looked to where the voice came from, towards the stage. “Han?” He turned to Jyn. “The asswipe you were referring to was Han?”

She bobbed her head once, too busy staring Han down as he sauntered up to them. His arms were lifted outwards, ready for a fight. “Well if it isn’t The Captain,” he said, eyeing Cassian. “Fancy seeing you out here to support your little spitfire of a girl.” He leaned against the bar, behind Jyn.

Jyn rolled her eyes. “We both know you’d rather leave the ‘princess’ title to one girl; let’s just say she’s lucky she won’t be here to witness a shite performance out of you tonight.”

Han threw his arms up in defense. “Hey, come on, no hard feelings, right? I wasn’t the one who picked on Bodhi.”

“If you weren’t so stupid in the first place as to owe a favor to Desi, you wouldn’t have to go up against either of us,” she hissed.

“Hey, have you looked at Desi lately, or at all? The guy’s huge; if he tells you to do something, damn straight you’ll do anything to make sure he doesn’t make a lesson out of you.”

“Oh please, even Leia isn’t afraid to shut him down. You’re such a moof-milker for being afraid of him.”

It finally dawned on Cassian as to who they were talking about. “Wait, ‘Desi’, as in Jabba Desilijic? The rich frat boy from upstate?”

Han nodded. “Though if we’re being honest, he’s just using his dad’s money to cause trouble for his own amusement. Don’t think the man’s ever actually got his hands dirty, even indirectly. Still, money gets you things, like power, and that’s not something you want to fuck with.”

His eyes widened as his gaze snapped to Jyn, reaching out to her for an answer.

Jyn looked back at him as if he were silly for being nervous. “It’ll be fine, Cassian, I’m pretty sure I can do this. Desi can’t drop beats, but Han here,” she gestured to the suave older gentleman, “sometimes gets in a bit of a kill streak with his words thanks to Lando. ‘Sometimes’ being the key word here.”

He stared at the duo in such disbelief that he swore he’d just fallen asleep while reading his book at home and was just dreaming.

He was still staring in disbelief as Han and Jyn eventually made their way up to the stage for the rap battle. He vaguely remembers Jyn pressing her lips to his cheek before walking up there, but it was barely enough to remind him that he, in fact, was not dreaming, and that he was completely in this situation, in real time.

The Cantina’s open mic host introduced the two contenders; Han raised his hands up, as if he were about to wrestle Jyn down to the ground. The crowd cheered. Jyn, instead, bowed, and Cassian’s throat went dry at both the elegance of her bow and the sight of her bra, made more visible when the cut-out portions of her shirt revealed more than they had before. She looked so sure that she could beat Han.

But she doesn’t even listen to rap music.

She was doomed, wasn’t she?

A steady beat dropped from the MC, and Han eyed Jyn up and down with hunger and determination. If Cassian wasn’t already sure that Jyn would smash his face in herself, he’d do it for her. After a few counts, Han raised the microphone up to his lips, and his voice came out as smooth and suave as his demeanor could ever call for:


What's a little princess like you here doing
at a bar like this? Tryna get laid, I'm assuming?
Dressed with looks to kill, all bark, no bite, tell me:
How'd it feel when Bodhi went all Mom's Spaghetti?

Leave it to the grown-ups, you aren't looking so strong
I don't think you can handle it, try and prove me wrong
You're out of your comfort zone, you're out of position
No way you can fight back, give up, abort mission

So run along, or I won't put you down gently
It's a war now, Kendall Jenner, can't end this with a Pepsi!

Jyn’s lips parted, and her tongue smoothed her upper teeth in contemplation, as if she were brandishing a weapon.

Bodhi and Kay re-appeared behind Cassian, and Cassian turned to them. Bodhi’s already large eyes looked even larger as he looked at Jyn up on the stage, accepting the sneers from the crowd. “Oh god I hope she does alright.”

Cassian stared back at Bodhi, the corners of his mouth drooping. “You mean to tell me Jyn doesn’t actually rap? She doesn’t have some secret talent for it?”

Bodhi shook his head. “She’s helped me practice every now and then, but she tends to stumble on her own words when she tries.” He pressed a finger to his temple to massage it. “She might actually fumble and make a fool of herself.”

Kay tilted his head as he observed Jyn. “It certainly seems like she knows what she’s going to do next, though.”

“That’s what I’m worried about- sometimes she gets in over her head. You know, fake it til you make it. Except my honor is at stake here, so I’m not sure if she’s just being that stubborn, or if she actually has a plan to throw something down.”

Cassian turned his head back to the stage, wondering just as much as Jyn took a deep breath and, with a sharp, toothy grin, shot back:


First off, I must confess, gotta proclaim:
the name's Jyn; Han, Destiny's Child- Say My Name
Don't you dare underestimate me because my size
can fool you, twist you up, take you down by surprise

You're making claims, tryna tell me you can throw me down to the ground
Check yourself 'fore you get wrecked, before it all goes southbound
Be glad that your princess ain't a witness, she ain't here
cuz Leia would straight-up walk out if she ever had to hear

the shitty rhymes you're pulling, boy, man, you're such a joke
Just give it a few more rounds, guarantee you're gonna choke!

Cassian’s jaw dropped. The crowd went ballistic, the sound of “oohs” filling the bar. Kay nodded slowly, his eyebrows raised in amusement. Bodhi screamed and cheered for Jyn at the top of his lungs.

Did she always have this in her? Cassian felt his face warm up at the idea that his girlfriend, this tiny, raging, gallant woman on the stage, had the verbal and physical strength to fight back. Her anger and ferocity on stage was terrifying and beautiful all at once, and he felt a tingle of excitement pooling low in his stomach at the thought. He hadn’t realized his mouth morphed into a proud smile until he felt his cheeks get sore.

Han had his own debts to settle, however, and he fired back:


This ain't the place
for daddy's little girl to take up space
Oh right, he's gone, didn't mean to rub it in your face
But wait,
I know you won't take the bait
So let's talk traits:

Your hair's a mess, always tangled, never straight
A scowl for days
If you cleaned up and fixed your gait
then you'd show the world, maybe indicate
that you're some type of lady straight out the gate

You think you're hardcore with your raccoon eyes
but you're just another rich kid, you're living a lie
You haven't done the shit I've been through to survive
you've been blessed enough to never take a side!

You think of this as a game but you don't understand-
you're sitting front row to my disses firsthand!

That last half made Jyn wince. She suppressed the urge to punch a few hecklers in the crowd that managed to call her “trash panda” loudly enough for her to hear.

Han’s smirk exuded cockiness. “You wanted to fight, right?”

Jyn chewed on her lip, a sly smile playing on her face as she shook her head in disbelief. She flashed him the bird and he threw his head back in laughter. She gestured the MC to give her a lead-in, and after a few counts, she grinned to bare her fangs before she struck:


You ain't smooth, you're coarse like gravel,
You're no gem, your moves don't dazzle
Leave the smooth talk and the moves to me
Leia's said things about you, best believe
she told me over drinks during all those nights
you ran off with your crew after yet another fight

Like the time you whispered another girl's name
while between her thighs,
yeah you lost that game
Didn't have the heart to tell her
it was your sister's name
you uttered out as you came
Freudian slips,
bruv, that shit's a pain

You thought you were sly
coming up with your lies
but she'll always find out the truth-
your lesson for life

Call me a sniper because I got you in my sights
Forget walking on eggshells, I'm gonna stomp ‘em all tonight!

The crowd was howling in support for Jyn, and she looked back at Han, her head tilted beckoningly, challenging him to try her again.

Han looked to the back of the crowd and saw Desi. He was not amused. He gulped and looked back at Jyn, his look of worry completely erased as he doubled down on his efforts to put a nail in this coffin and leave her unable to fight back:


Hah, okay, you think you're clever
but I bet El Capitan over there would never
match up to the men that you've ever
had in the past, nah, he'd never measure

I mean,
he ain't clean cut,
more often than not
he looks like a hobo
that I gave change to down the block

That look ain't chic
have you looked at him?
No muscles, no structure, poor physique,
so small, like a boy who tries to seek
chances to look grown-up, man, so weak

He's got no charm, he never smiles
I have no idea how you fell for his wiles
Straight-laced, never jokes, Mr. Grumpy Gills
His idea of a fun night is paying the bills
Your taste in men is disappointing, abysmal
and I even bet the sex is just as dismal!

Jyn looked absolutely affronted. Bodhi stared at Cassian and noticed that his fists were clenched and his nostrils flared. Kay put a hand on Cassian’s shoulder to try and hold him back from charging up the stage and tackling Han on the spot, but he aggressively shrugged him off. “I’m fine, I’m fine,” Cassian reassured the two, but his eyes were still trained angrily at Han like a viper looking for the right moment to strike. Bodhi and Kay looked at each other, unconvinced, so Bodhi slowly moved to place himself in front of Cassian, off to the side, just in case. Kay, meanwhile, pinched the back of Cassian’s button-up between his thumb and index finger.

Jyn’s eyes squinted in a dangerous glare, and her boots twisted towards Han, ready to pounce. “Too far, Solo. Too. Far.”

Cassian’s eyes widened. Was she going to lunge at him?

Her legs bent slightly and she charged for Han just as the MC started beatboxing, and she landed just inches from him and her next words were more defensive than not:


Always gotta shoot first, eh? What a class act;
Other men have left me, but Andor's got my back
He's with me, all the way, this man won't abandon
He's got legs for days, but yours last seconds, and
the fringes of his hair does a thing, a flip
that makes my heart flip
so much that I gotta grip
the edge of a desk, fan myself from the heat

You think he never smiles but he does and it gets me weak
in the knees, between mine he's free
to place his face, if it'd please
him to roam my parts, then he's got my permission
to bring me to submission
He can make it his mission
to show me what I've been missin'

Han Solo, man, you're so sick
You thought you could try to hit
and take the mick
out of the man that I'm dating?
I'm expecting real burns about me,
but you’ve run out of ‘em all
and I'm tired of waiting!

Han retreated by a step, completely flustered. He tried to open his mouth, come out with a comeback, but Jyn refused to relent, and she stepped closer into his personal space, her words becoming sharper with each line:


Game, set, match, checkmate
I'm gettin' the last word in, sorry to make you wait
so long for your fate
You thought this rap battle could satiate
your appetite for pride, hubris, just couldn't abstain

from shooting the bird down
So string me 'round your neck, bruv
You're nothing but a clown,
the princess ain't here to give you love
I know why you're out on the town-
another fight, her kisses you're deprived of
You've pissed her off again, so sad, what a letdown

I'm the albatross you shot,
On your neck, I’ll be hung
like a choker, a gag that you thought
couldn't hurt you, but now you're done

Go back to where you came from, back up the hill,
You've got your right hand tonight,
But Cassian? Netflix and chill.

The crowd was silent, had been for a while. No one could believe it. Hell, Jyn herself couldn’t believe it. But while she had the upper hand, she stood up as straight as she could and her arm swiveled out to the side. With her eyes still trained on Han’s, who’d been rooted to the stage, paralyzed with shock, she dropped the microphone and let it roll away.

Bodhi, Kay, and Cassian had to cover their ears as The Cantina erupted in a roar of cheers for Jyn. She looked for Cassian in the crowd before hopping off the stage with two feet, then marched off in victory.

Jyn kept her head low and she approached Cassian, as if he’d reject her for doing something as dorky as this.

Instead, Cassian pulled her in by the belt loops and asked with a wry, curious smile, “So, I have permission, eh?”

The only thing that saved her blush from getting any deeper was the layer of make-up that did wonders for cover-ups.

“I…might have gotten into thinking about you that way,” she mumbled, still too shy to look him in the eye, but happy with their closeness enough to keep smiling anyway.

She felt her bangs being swept aside and tucked behind her ear as Cassian planted a kiss between her eyebrows. As she looked up in surprise, she saw Cassian grinning, widely and proudly. “I might’ve been thinking about you that way, too.”

Jyn couldn’t help but grin right back.

Cassian had no idea what feeling to focus on first- the feel of his pants tightening at this side of her he’s never seen before, or the feel of his soul falling for the fierce, tiny woman in his arms with the most childish grin in the world.

Either way, he was officially in too deep with her now, but he couldn’t imagine having it any other way.

“So…” he started, then took a breath and huffed out in exhilaration. “I didn’t know you could rap,” he finally managed. Not that he needed the words; his smile said everything.

“I don’t like doing this sort of stuff sober, but tonight…” her voice trailed as her eyes drifted upwards in a playful manner. Jyn was so proud of herself that she couldn’t stop grinning. Her eyes darted back to his. “I might’ve had a few shots. Extra ones. Of tequila. Before you got here.”

Cassian’s eyebrows raised. “So you were extra risky tonight? Does that mean you’re feeling extra frisky, too?” he asked playfully, but his eyes darkened a few shades.

His ears turned red and the stiffness in his groin became almost unbearable when she stepped up to her tip-toes and, after flicking her tongue at the bottom of his earlobe, whispered tantalizingly:

“Take me home tonight, Andor, and you just might find out.”

Cassian groaned and shivered slightly at the sensation. His hands gripped her hips even more tightly, his fingers sinking further in to her soft skin as he squeezed.

“But we have to leave now,” she said curtly.

“What? Why?”

“I might have also slashed one of Desi’s tires when no one was looking. And another one. And his spare. And,” her voice drifted and her eyes wandered off to the side before she continued with an innocent tone, “it’s also possible that there’s juice in his fuel tank instead of petrol.”

Cassian looked panicked. “Okay, that, by far, is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.”

Jyn raised a leg slightly and let her thigh rub against him where he wanted it most. “Then stop talking and let’s get moving while I’m still high on this rush.”

Cassian nodded and he let her tug his arm to lead the way as they ran out. He preferred it that way- Jyn was good to look at from behind.

That look got even better later into the night when his hips slammed up to meet hers, over and over.