The night air is cold and unfriendly, especially since Dean's jeans are wet up to the thigh--and Sam's too, but Sam functions like a walking furnace most of the time, so he probably doesn't even notice. Dean notices, but he's still somewhat caught up in trying to process what the hell just happened.
"I think that might seriously be the weirdest thing we've ever killed." He's probably never going to be able to look the Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles in the eye again.
Sam makes a non-committal noise, but he's mostly focused on trying to figure out how to pry off the small child that's currently strangling him. Given the day the kid's had, Dean can sympathize with her--as can Sam, as he's not trying very hard, by the looks of it.
Since Sam's occupied, Dean turns to the kid's babysitter, who's standing sort of huddled in on herself, staring blankly across the dark river they'd just forded. "How you holding up?" She doesn't respond, so he steps closer and tries again. "Lucy, right? Hey, we've got to get you and the kid out of here, but it's a couple miles to our car. You think you can manage that?" That at least gets him a look from her, though she's clearly still not tracking quite right.
"We can't leave yet--Steve's still back there."
Steve? This is the first mention of anyone by that name, and Dean's just started to ask for details, because he'd really rather not have to go retrieve a half-eaten corpse in the fast-falling dark if he can help it, when Sam's monkey friend shrieks "STEVIE" and starts wailing loudly enough that for a moment Dean thinks Sam managed to drop her or something.
"Wait, who's Steve?" Sam asks, managing to sound only mildly concerned despite the siren going off in his ear.
Lucy doesn't turn to look at him, just keeps staring vaguely in Dean's direction. "Clara's stuffed unicorn. She takes him everywhere."
Shit. "Let me guess--if we go without the thing, she'll keep making this racket?"
"Until she makes herself sick from crying, and probably even after that."
He doesn't bother to confer with Sam, just pulls out his flashlight and starts wading back across the river, because it's freaking cold and he's learned that sometimes it really is better not to stop and think first.
Sam shouts after him, but Dean's already thigh-deep and the water splashes loud around him. It feels kind of like someone's flaying his legs with ice, but he's still half-numb from the first two times he did this, so it's mostly just a matter of keeping his footing and staying pointed in the right direction.
Feels like it takes longer this time, and he'd be relieved when he finally makes it to the other side, except he has to duck to get into the cave leading back to the TMNT-knockoff's lair, and from there it's another five minutes of scrambling awkwardly through too-low tunnels and enough cold water that he's starting to lose track of where his toes are.
But the lair reeks so much of old blood and rotting meat that it's easy enough to find again, and then it's just a matter of kicking his way through the debris on the mostly-dry floor. There's some skulls and bits and pieces of skeletons--enough to be visually confusing, but eventually he finds the unicorn off in a corner. It's still clean, and almost violently white in the beam of his flashlight. It's also aggressively cute: round and fat, with its pink tongue stuck out and an absolutely idiotic expression sewn onto its face.
Dean would be tempted to kick it across the cave into a puddle just on principle, but Sam's currently in danger of losing his hearing thanks to Steve's distraught owner, so he grits his teeth and picks the stupid thing up by the tail and starts the cold, cramped slog back out of this place.
He passes the kappa on his way out, and kicks its legs once, just to be sure. Anything that's weird enough to have an actual bowl of water in the top of its head is weird enough to also not stay dead properly. But there's no reaction, so he crouches enough to fit into the tunnel out and keeps on going.
The last bit of daylight is gone by the time he gets out and can straighten with a groan. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone, especially Sam, but he's definitely not twenty-six anymore. And that's even with all the angel-healing he's had over the years.
On the other side of the river he can see a moving spot of light that must be Sam's flashlight, and he waves his own in response before starting to cross the river for the fourth time in under an hour. The air temperature's definitely dropped in the fifteen minutes it took him to get in and out of the cave complex, and he's cursing quietly to himself by the time he's halfway. The current seems stronger, too, and he almost goes down a couple of times where it's deepest--Steve's definitely going to be damp by the time they get back to shore.
Not that the kid cares when Dean finally staggers out onto terra firma, holding the unicorn up so it's caught by Sam's flashlight. "STEVIE!" she screams again, and then launches herself out of Sam's grasp and onto Dean.
There's a single panicked moment where Dean's sure he's going to drop either her or the flashlight and either would be pretty bad news given their current circumstances, but she does in fact cling like a monkey, and after a few moments of scrambling she winds up on Dean's shoulders, clutching a soggy Steve to her chest--and Dean's face, by proximity. But at least she's now cooing happily instead of yelling, so he's not going to make a fuss about it.
"Let's blow this joint," he says to Sam, already dreading the hike ahead of them, especially since babysitter Lucy looks like she's still pretty much checked out from the whole thing.
"First one to the car gets dibs on first shower," Sam says, unexpectedly taking up the role of bratty little brother, and then he slings Lucy over his shoulder without so much as a 'by your leave' and takes off up the hill and into the strip of woods separating them from the car.
"You have got to be kidding me," Dean tells Steve, and then "Hold on," to the kid and they're off. And maybe his boots and jeans are completely waterlogged, and so what if he can't feel his feet properly anymore, he's not going to let Sam win that shower without making him fight for it.
And what the hell, why not--"Hi-ho, Stevie, away!"