"Ayy, Tony," a voice called.
Anthony Bourdain turned slowly from his spot at the window to look at his best friend.
"Hey Aang," Anthony replied, but his heart was obviously not in the greeting. He continued staring out the third floor window at the track field below. Some students were putting up banners in preparation for the day's activities, other more serious students were warming up. The one particular student that Anthony had his eyes on was warming himself near a fire of his own creation. Zuko, the man Anthony had been madly in love with since first year.
"You're watching Zuko again? Why don't you just go ask him out?" Aang asked.
"Stop being such a child Aang," Anthony mumbled, "You know we can never be together, his father would never approve and the last thing Zuko wants is to dishonor his family."
"That's rough, buddy," Aang said.
"I overheard him saying that if you win a medal during today's sports day, his father would be honoured for you two to date," Katara piped up, sticking her head over Anthony's shoulder. He had been so wrapped up in his emo feels he hadn't even noticed her.
"Did he really say that?" Anthony Bourdain asked. His attention finally diverted from the red-clad boy below.
"Yeah she's not lying for once, if you win even one medal you guys can be together," Sokka said.
When had all of these people shown up?
"I'm going to get you a boyfriend," Aang cheered, just as the bell tolled, indicating the start of the festivities.
The first event was earth soccer. As much as Anthony Bourdain tried, he couldn't get the ground to budge quite fast enough. Even with Katara sending the occasional blast of water to nudge the ball in the right direction, it was useless. Anthony couldn't even get past the first round.
Next was the watersports part of the day. Katara promised to help Anthony by soaking everyone else right away, so they would be too cold to properly dodge the icebergs. But her aim turned out to be not that great, probably because she's a girl, they have harder parts to aim with.
Everyone met up again to regroup.
"Okay well obviously this isn't working," Aang said.
"And there's only 1 event left," Sokka cried. He really wanted his friend to find the kind of love he had been denied so many times in the past. He looked up, and although it was just past midday, the faintest sliver of the moon could be seen.
"But this isn't based on bending. Its based on eating," Anthony Bourdain world celebrated eater smiled, "and boy can I eat."
"I have an idea of how to help you win. And all you need to do is open your mouth really really wide," Aang opened his own unsettlingly large mouth as a demonstration.
"Then lets do this, team!" Sokka yelled. The team group-hugged.
Eaters took their seats at the long banquet table on that main stage. Aang knelt under the table in preparation for the starting bell. Anthony Bourdain opened him mouth as wide as his miserable looking face would allow. Both paused for a small inhale, and then the bell rang. The four other students at the table began eating as quickly as they could. Pie's disappeared into their open gobs. But Anthony just sat there with his mouth open. In front of him, his food began to rise in a swirl. Pies circled each other creating a strong Midwestern storm. Anthony opened his mouth ever wider and the tail of the storm followed its way down his tongue.
"Holy shit, he's deep-throating that tornado," someone in the crowd gasped.
Anthony's eyes squinted shut in pain as the huge amounts of pie funneled its way into his stomach.
"He looks six months pregnant. No wait seven months! Eight months! Nine!" the crowd screamed in unison.
As the last of the crumbs disappeared behind Anthony's lips the bell rang again.
"And we have a winner!" Iroh called. He raised Anthony's hand in victory, and a medal was lowered over his head. Claps filled the air as Zuko ran on stage. He threw his hands around Anthony Bourdain and pulled him in for a kiss.
"I had no idea you were so talented," He whispered in Anthony's ear.
"Thanks, but I never could have done this without Aang's help." Aang ran up on stage to join the hug.
"Now you guys can be together forever," Aang said smiling.
"Yeah I'll keep the passion burning, haha," Zuko responded.