Chapter 1: suicide
It was a cold afternoon on the Grid.
He stood on top of a buiding in the shadows of a billboard to hide his position from whoever just so happen to look up. He was wearing his long coat hiding moost of his light looking as dark as possible. His eyes had grown even darker.
Cyrus took a deep breath, taking in the icy air surounding him. A privilege he had lost so long ago. He looked over the city of Argon… chaos. There was only chaos. The once so innocent town had turned into a firepit. The curfew had gone in a long time ago but now that… it has started, there were small groups of programs all over the town fighting against the occupation. Not that it would even matter in the end.
He layed a hand on his left wrist looking down at the energy containers around his lower arms. They were the same as Trons healing chamer… well atleast they had the same affect, used both the same type of technologie to keep him alive afther the fight. They looked like big gloves that covert his for arm but not his whole hands. The tech inside hidden behindt metal cover. The metal was strong and discproof. Someting that he had found out to be quite handy when it came to blocking attacks. He closed his eyes for a while and took a deep breath of air When something caught his attention. An explotion. There were a few Rebbels ( as they so happened to call themselfs) fighting off some of the guarts. Cyrus stood motionless, watching, opserving as he did best. There were 3 man and one girl as far as he could make out. Some of them were wearing selfmade harnasses making the gender hard to read. The girl however did no even have her face covert. She had black-red hair and a small and long face with green-brown eyes. She ran forwart as she threw a bomb towarts the guarts. The bomb was probably self made as it exploded in mid-air.
She took down 2 gaurts together with one of the rebels and half her own leg.
She was pretty.
They would sure catch her now, not that she would be send to the games. Like that she was useless. Afther all it was not like they were going to fix her leg they were probably just kill her right there…
Amost sad.. she was quite an eyecatching sight, like that Paige girl where Beck …
All this pain. And it was now all resting on his shoulders. For him to fix this mess. He coulden’t possibly take this weight. Cyrus turned around from the horrific scene and headed towards the hideout. It had bin long sins he took the time to observe the boy. Specially sins the fight. And oh how Beck looked broken then. Eyes growing darker just like his owne. How long for he would turn on Tron ? He jumped of the building rerezzing his light jet.
There was no point in it.
Not in him.
Tron was yelling at Beck.
‘’WHAT WERE YOU THINKING”
“Tron i- “
But Beck couldn’t finish his sentence before being cut off.
“You were killed again. Beck this isin’t a game. This might be a simulation but out there. Right now, You’d be dead. Do you honestly think we can afford SUTCH STUPID MOVES?”
Beck kept his head down. Stupid was all that was said to him ever sinds the revolution had started. And he was, he really was. Even Beck agreed so. But the tempo was just way to high. Ever sinds Tron was back to full health the training level had increased he just couldn’t keep up with him anymore. He was just another burden for him. And Tron ? Tron was sure to point that out.
“t-the level… it’s just … i-i could barly keep up with you before a-and n-now”
Tron steped closer. Beck felt a sick discomfort in his chest. This was the 7th training he had screwed up.
“Than what exacly do you think you are doing here? Except wasting my time.”
And that ..hurts.
Tron walked away out of the training room. But before closing the door anrgy behind him he turned and looked at Beck one more time.
“i'm out. I expect you to be capeble of handeling this simulation level once i get back”
‘’for how long will you be .. gone ? “
“a few cycles”
And that …. Was all. He left Beck standing there with nothing more. No goodbye , no stay safe , no nothing. Like that would matter Tron would be back, he’s Tron. Beck stayed in place until he heard Tron leave the hideout. Beck went staight for his room trying to hold back the tears streaming down his face. Once in his room he punshed the wall, He wanted to sream why why why why the hell was he so fucking weak. Why was he crying? there was no reason for him to cry. His face towards the mirror. He hated the way he looked. …. Weak. Tron was right and with that the feeling returned. That awful feeling. He started to feel it ever sinds this damn revolution had started.
He wanted to feel anthing instead of that feeling.
He had. He did feel different once. Cyrus his markes were covered under other scars
The funny thing was it that it acualy took the real pain away. The one in his chest. The stupid feeling in his chest. It felt empty and sad and if to describe it’s something like pressure or rather the reverse of it. It felt horrible. And that was if he were to describe it. but you can’t you can’t ever. You only know it if you have felt it and if you indeed know the feeling. There is nothing left to feel but sorry for you.
He didin’t want this anymore.
He was fucking done with it already.
Done with every stupid mistake…he, himslef was a mistake, a second choice. He grapped his bike and threw it towards the mirror. Beck jumped back a little when the mirror broke with the impact of the bike. The mirror falling apart in pieces on the floor. Beck looked at it. At the bike, at the broke pieces, at the small reflection of himself in some of them. He was done. done questioning, done being a burden, done being second choice, done with it all.
With the friends that yelled at him for never being there. The way they had shut him out. some were dead.
He was done with fighting. No one needed him anyway.
And no one would miss him
Tron could find another one he was so good in that afther all.
Tron would be free of him like he wanted to be.
Beck slowly walked towarts the mirror and picked up one of the sharp pieces and looked down at his owne broken reflecton in it. he lowered the piece towards his wrist.
And started cutting.
When Cyrus came to the hide out it was strangley as if there was no one there. Now he had seen the bike. He knew tron was probably dealing with business in the city. But Beck was not in the training room nor the main once. He had to be carefull not making noice to alarm the young renegade. But someting was wrong. It all felt wrong. His attention was drawn to the room Beck had taken as his own. Cyrus started to pick up the pace walking to the door. He leaned in close putting his ear to door. No sound. Beck could be sleeping. But something told him it wasn’t. it just wasn’t.
He slowly opend the door. Thinking maybe Beck could be in the bathroom taking a shower. But his eyes wident in shook at the sight before him.
Beck was laying lifeless in a mix of his own cubes, energy, and fragments of a broken mirror.
Cyrus dropped the carefull act and ran over to the boy who was unconcious on the floor. And when he turned beck over he could see the huge scares on his wrist. They were long in vertical angle and were done with obviously a lot of anger.
He took the boy in his arms trying to shake him awake. But there was no sucsess in any of it. Beck was loosing to much energy and all the training had put his energy levels down and he looked skinny. Way to skinny to be healthy.
Beck needed treatment now.
No. Not here. He didin’t know when Tron would be back. With Beck like this. And the instabilty of his own code... it was all the better if he got him out of here as fast as possible before Beck’s code became fully instable and he would die. He quickly took some bandages of a box witch was where it once was. This room didn’t change. He wraped up Beck’s arms to stop the energy from getting out. For what was left of it. and with all the volux on the floor, Beck was not far from dying. he wraped the boy up in his long coat and lifted him up. Bridal style. And basically ran towarts the window jumping out of it with Beck in his arms rerezzing his lightjet and heading to his own hide out.
But Cyrus was not sure even now if he would make it in time.
Beck wasn’t suppoost to break. Not yet. Not like this. If he were to Lose Beck now he would lose their destiny with it. And that was something he couldn't have to happen. He didint care.
3 cycles later
Beck was laying chaned to the machines. His condition acually had improved. However the whole scene was depressing it could make a saint a sinner. And for Cyrus who was already one …oh well. It was rather sad even without the back story of the happening. Beck was to improtant to lose specialy to Tron’s tyranny. He felt sorry for the boy. Feelings. But than again he was once in Beck’s position.
He let out a deep sigh. Told himsleft that his past was why he cared. Afther all this was not good for either of them. He had talked to the boy while he was next to bed trying to wake him up. Beck reacted to Cyrus. Ironic. But it really seemed that way. He told Beck about how he would be there if he woke up ( something he was planning on doing for more resons than just comfort). Beck seemed to react to that. Not that the reaction that the wanted but he was not picky.
Not now he remembered the shock.
And about how he ran into his own hideout.
wich was more hidden than Tron's hideout.
Deeper into the grind still keeping an eye on his mountan-hideout and the city. But there was less of a view. It also seemed to rain more often because it was so much closer to the edge where there were always more storms. Not that he minded. He had actually grown quite fond of the rain.
But when brining Beck here he regretted how far he acually had build his second hideout. So far away from things. And that had caused them time.
He had rushed into the room leaving all doors open brining him to the bed of the healing room he had build for himself afther the fight. He had made a healing room simliar like his former mentor. The technology in the room was atleast based of off it. But Cyrus was no mechanic. And he was lucky his wounds could cure.
The healing room was weaker than Tron’s used to be. But it did the job. He had placed Beck into the machine where he kept him for about one and a half cycels afther that he had layed Beck on a hospital-like bed. He had chained the boy's armes to the railings of it on each opposite side. Half to keep his arms in place for the wires half for if Beck would wake up. It was nothing too real or serious but it would keep him in place. He had also taken care off the boys scars on his arms. but they were heavy. And he could only do so much untill the boys code would need rest.
Cyrus led out a laugh.
like that was what it was about.
Beck had cut his own wrists. With what reason? what about his friends. If they even still were his friends (knowing the toll of the revolution). Beck tryed to kill himself. That feeling fo suicide was not gonna be over as soon as he would wake up. Beck wasn’t gonna be Beck. His eyes would be empty unlike the little sparkel that used to be in them.
He closed his eyes and pinched Beck’s hand. And then
Beck responded. Beck’s hand gave a light and weak pinch back returning the message.
Cyrus looked at beck. Waiting .
For something. A singe, a message, eyes who would flicker open or another soft squeeze. Cyrus looked without any movement at the boy who pulled Cyrus out of his trance by letting out a soft grown.
Beck started to open up his eyes but rather quickly jerked his head away again from the bright light above him closing his eyes again.
Where?..what?..happened. he tried to open his eyes and start to make sense of things, He tried to remember what happened, but his head hurt while doing so.
He ended it.
The thing he told himself he would do so many times over and over. He had actually done it. But then how could he still think? Why did he find himself lying on his back? And why did his head hurt if he was just a pile of cubes. It didn’t add up. He shouldn’t even have a head anymore. Was this what would happen when you died? He remember Tron once saying something about a thing called heaven or after life but he didn’t really lisen to Tron at the time. Was this afterlife? Heaven? The end ? it didn’t feel any different, the feeling in his chest… it was still there.
Beck slowly tried to open his eyes, and now going slow he started to get a sense of his surroundings. His sight was blurry but he could make out that he was being surrounded by bright white walls. There was something that looked like a big blue capsule on its side it had something of Tron’s old healing chamber but it was to blurry to really make out the exact purpose of the machine, some drawers and … he was on a bed? He moved his head sideways and blinked a few times trying to get his sight to clarify. Up close his sight was clearer. He looked down at his body, a white blanket was placed over him but leaving out his arms witch were bound with handcuffs to each side of the railing of the bed. Wires were …
He blinked some more. There were wires to his arms?. He tried to move his right arm that he was inspecting the best he could with his state of being. But as soon as he tried to move it a pain shot threw his body. He arced his back at the surprising shot of pain trying to get away from it but only making it worse.
“easy now” a voice said. Beck felt a gentle hand on his chest softly pushing him down in the bed again.
The boy moved his head to the side taking a look at who or what was trying to calm him down. He started to breath heavily in the oxygen mask looking at the program before him.
The light lined program that was one of the reasons he was in this position it the first place. He started to shake sending more pain into his body. Cyrus put more pressure moving a hand a little upwards but keeping distains from his throat.
“relax, you lost a lot of energy” voice kept gentle, trying to let the boy know he was not here to hurt him. Softly but surely pushing him back into the bed. He looked down at Beck’s wrists to look if the struggling he’d done had left any damage.
Beck had made for some of the cuts on his arm to break open again and some energy was starting to escape. Whatever he needed change the bandages anyway. He stood up from the bed and walked over to the other side of the room to a drawer and pulled out the things that he would be needing to do so. Beck eyes followed his ever step in slight disbelieve. Beck tried to say something ignoring the pain that came with it.
“a-a am-a am i-I d-dea…?”
“ no” Cyrus responded casually and chill as ever. ”but you were close”
“why? W-h…ehre? The boy almost choked on his own breath.
“don’t worry, you are save here. I am not here to hurt you.” He stated while filling a tub with light warm water.
“y-you should ha-ve let me.”
“you wanted me to di-ah” beck stopped half way his sentence when he felt a shock in his arms. Cutting them off would have been less painful than this. Why was he even still alive stating the situation they were in.
He’d even failed at killing himself. He was truly what Mara said he had bin, what TRON said he had bin. What he was.
Cyrus took all he needed turning back at beck with dark but rather calm eyes. He approached the young program slowly like one were to approach a young animal lost in the outlands. Carful to not make a unexpected move, He stopped by his side laid the bandages down together with the tub, he said down by Beck’s side and started to take off the carefully wrapped bandages on his arms. The other program let out a hiss at the movement of his arms. When the bandages were taking off it revealed his scared wrists while most of them healed, there were still enough to make the earlier scares he got from the other program hardly visible. Cyrus pored something into the water, socked a towel and brought it to beck wrist.
“breath, this is going to hurt”
A burning pain.
Beck tried to jerk away but Cyrus his grip got stronger.
“don’t move or else it will hurt more” Beck looked at him angry, yhea like he’s going to lisen to a psychopath that killed his friend. Beck tried to move away again when Cyrus tried to reach for this wrists again.
“do you want it to hurt ?” Cyrus asked his voice demanding and easy to tell he was growing rather annoyed.
“give m-e a reason to b-believe you. You were the one who wanted me dead and n-now.” Beck took a moment to catch his breath.
“now you’re just torturing me”
“I saved your life. Now why would I do that if I wanted you dead.?”
“because you hate m- AH.” Cyrus continued to clean beck his wounds keeping a strong hold of the boys wrist but having In mind to handle him with care and to make sure it wouldn’t get any worse than they already were. However that was hard and not getting any easier.
Beck didn’t say anything back. He just stared in front of him with careless eyes. It didn’t matter. He didn’t want to think about the horrible torture Cyrus had planned for him. Or to question why Cyrus’s act was so careful, like he was made out of glass.
Cyrus just kept on cleaning the wounds. He honestly didn’t care if Beck were to stay quiet and still, it gave him enough time to clean up the wounds. It was only right when he started to wrap the boys hands up again that he started talking.
“then why?. Why ..”
“bother?” Cyrus finished beck sense and his arm. And moved over to the other side of the bed so he could get started on cleaning the other wrist. However this one was way harder to clean considering the wires he had to keep in mind. He’d probably were to take them out the containers were only for 3 quarters finished but sins Beck has had them for over a cycle now he decided to change them. But when he sat down at the other side of the bed and looked up he saw Beck looking at him questioning why Cyrus had stopped in what Beck expected to be an explaining for Cyrus’s behavior rather than stopping.
“why did you save me?, Tell me. Y-you hate me.” the boy said.
“I can’t let you die. you are important”
“no” Beck started to get angry with the program cleaning his wounds.
“if that is all than this is about then… then ..” his eyes started to fill with tears again fuck he was stumbling over his own words.
“you killed able, i-I am sick of your games” beck started to struggle again.
“let me go”
“let me finish”
“let me explain”
“no I-I want out”
Cyrus was starting to get annoyed with the program but was rather determent on letting the boy play too much on his feelings. He just stopped with cleaning and graped Beck’s wrist and started to wrap the his wrist back up with clean bandages. Getting it over with, it was not like the young renegade was going to lisen. Maybe a few cycles would make him more grateful.
He stood up heading for the door.
“what? Where are you going? Let me go”
“I’ll be back”
Cyrus stopped and turned around. Beck was in fact lonely. Loneliness, especially when in this state it made people cooperative and more open minded when it came to talking and company. Even if they didn’t actually wanted it themselves, but it made them talk to people they’d rather or if given the choice to would avoid. Not that beck was to getting to be picky or at any point was even given an choice. Nor like Cyrus was going to let him go and give him the opportunity to talk to others or finish what he’d planned to do three cycles ago.
“explain” the boy stated bowing his head down hoping that would be all to get Cyrus to talk.
“I thought, that you didn’t want me to?” He said walking over to the bed leaning a little bit to close into Beck’s personal space.
“just – just tell me.. why?” he kept his head down. Not wanting to face Cyrus but rather craving for and answer or just, Who knows, To keep him talking?. For some reason it felt like the right thing to do at this point. Besides what would it matter?. It was just talking and being honest with himself
It was not like he had something left to lose.
so i hoped you guys liked it
please tell me if i made any mistakes
and please remember that english is not my first language
The silence that followed made Beck feel rather awkward. After he had stopped with talking Cyrus simply hadn’t replied back to him. He was just standing these observing Beck while leaning into the boy’s personal space without saying anything.
Was…was he supposed to say something? Did Cyrus even hear him? Did Cyrus want him to accept the conversation? Did he plan on it? Just as Beck was starting to question himself if he had even said anything at all. He program moved. He closed his eyes taking a deep breath as one would do to take it all in before jumping out of a light chopper to skydive but was giving Beck the impression that he could smell his fear.
“You act like you never even listened, did you?” Cyrus replied.
And what a reply it was sly ,annoying, ‘clever’ (as for what that goes for). It wasn’t even an actual answer just a question. He was trying to get him to realize something on his one.
“w-what?” beck answered back shoving the obligation of explanation back to the program leaning over him. The wasn’t going to explain this, he didn’t feel like another riddle.
“to anything I ever told you”
“why would I, y-you are a murderer” Beck stated.
“if that is the term you feel like using.” Cyrus said letting out an angry growl “ than Sure, But am not Abel’s murderer “ he said cupping Beck’s face laying a annoyed tone upon the word murderer spotting the title.
“I’ll have you know that was the exact program…” He claimed while standing back up holding his head high while letting go of Beck’s chin “that got you to end up here.”
“Tron… didn’t kill him. You wanted me and-”
“-but I never put a bomb on Able’s back” Cyrus interrupted ”I never put one on yours.
Never activated the bomb. only ever placed one on our so beloved mentor and those friends of yours”
“they aren’t. Not anymore, thanks to you”
He grew even more angry, this ungrateful bitch. He decided to turn around and head for the door.
“It’s time you start seeing the real enemy. Beck, I had to and am sure you will soon” he yelled over his shoulder while walking into the hallway turning his back to close the door again.
“but for now” he played his hand on the door panel. “get some more rest” That said, he closed the door before the boy could manage to protest. Beck tried to react, call out for the older program to stay and lisen to him for once instead of beck getting told all about this messed up idea of a destiny he didn’t believe in. which was, to make it worse. Mostly told in a way as shady and confusing as possible. But as he tried to say something he only managed to get as much out as a yelp.
After the door was shut he let his head rest to the pillows again and now that his eyes had cleared up he started up serving the room a bit more.
Tron was on his light cycle riding back to the hideout pleased that he was capable of getting there without any more trouble. In the city, it was chaos and now that the borders were heavily guarded there was more trouble in getting into the city or outlands without being spotted and having to show his face.
It had been a new safety protocol to make sure that the occupation had a full report on who left and came into the city, but it had a quite a few weak spots the organocation hadn’t improved sins Clu’s arrival. In fact Tron fairly believed that It had gotten worse. The only change is if one truly were to get spotted they had to take it up to stronger higher class guards. The security around Tesler’s base was the only truly security improved place, that and of course Clu’s establishment witch had been placed right beside Tesler’s .
He was glad that he could return to his own more quiet and peaceful hideout, hoping to find Beck training and finally being capable of handling the higher level of the simulation. Though he felt somewhere a sight of sorry for the boy. He did came out hart on Beck last training secession and it hadn’t exactly been part of the plan to start yelling at him. But with all these changes the more trained guards and the enlarged number they came in, not to mention Clu who had decided to show his face. he had been frustrated. Maybe he should check upon the Beck to make sure he wasn’t going to make trouble out of it, after all everyone were to lose their temper once in a while.
But upon entering his home and safehouse it was a bit too much on the quiet side( for Beck’s known presents). No sound of training, no Beck going over there plans on the main computer centered in the middle of their hideout. No…no Beck at all.
That program better not be sleeping again. It was the middle of the afternoon and he should have been up by now. Tron started to walk towards Beck his room starting to lose the feeling of guilt that had been building up on his way back while still holding his baton. If Beck had done nothing but sleeping in the past few cycles that he had been gone he might as well have no Beck, or successor. If he would not even take the uprising the one thing they had been fighting so long for to accomplish serious than there was absolutely no point in having him around.
He opened the door but what he saw there made him regret…
He had planned on finding a sleepy Beck maybe one who was taking a shower. But this wasen’t the case. Tron could feel the energy leaving his body in fear of the horror scene in front om him. It made him drop his baton on the floor as his body froze into place.
Shattered mirror pieces lying on the cold floor, energy all over them and the rest of the room.
Energy, program energy all over the pieces and in the middle of shards in the form of a person laid…
A pile of cubes,
Soft blue cubes
He took back … Every thought he just had,
Be careful what you wish for.
Cyrus knocked on the door before entering the room but didn’t really wait on an answer before opening it and stepping inside. Beck listened but didn’t feel like opening his eyes. The older program walked over to the bed setting down the energy container on the small white table next to the bed. Beck probably would be very suborn not to drink anything that Cyrus would try to give to him but he needed to try, or else he would need to shift over to forcing Beck into drinking.
The boy needed the energy and he wasn’t getting enough from the tubes. Reminding there were still a few pieces he needed to get out of the young grenade’s arm. Otherwise it would heal with the scars under his skin taking them out the would be extremely painful at that point to say the least. Not to mention that his code in his legs probably wasn’t fully cable of healing. Cyrus pored some of the energy into a glass and held it into Beck’s direction.
“drink you’ll need it”
There was no reaction. Beck figured that if he stayed still Cyrus would just set it down next to him and walk away like the few cycles before, but Beck hadn’t really drank any of what He had been trying to feed Beck. leaving the other program with no other choice that to give the boy more wires in his arms connected with bags of contained, filtered and concentrated energy that could be injected directly into the inner code. But it wasn’t anywhere near as helpful if he just drank energy, no program could only life on concentrated energy. He had to drink.
But refused to.
“Don’t play this game with me now, I know you’re awake.”
“just leave it” Beck replied not intending to open his eyes.
“So you can leave it standing again?” Beck buried himself deeper into the pillows.
“your wounds won’t heal if you don’t”
“well they don’t need healing. There fine, am fine just let me be” Beck stated he wasn’t going to drink it Cyrus would have to force him to it. “you’ll derezz if you don’t drink.”
“GOOD… please even.” His eyes opened looking angry at the man’s face. “you can move along or try to force me for all I care. But am not going to drink that.” Beck moved his left arm in which he had gotten movement back to push away the cup Cyrus was offering him.
In what seemed about less than a Nano Cyrus had gripped Beck’s arm and had lift him from the pillows twisting in behind his back making the boy let out a cry at the rough and sudden movement of his arm. Cyrus climbed half onto the bed letting go of the Beck’s wrist and wrapping his arm around his body holding his chin in place. “ah.. C-Cyrus … p-plea-se, Ah l-let go. Y-You are H-Hurting m-me ah.” He softly spoke, the touch had let him breathless and in great pain.
The older program ignored the please and placed the glass to Beck’s lips.
“I said DRINK’’
Cyrus increased pressure on the boys chin and opposite sides of his jaw forcing Beck to open up. Once his mouth had opened he didn’t think twice an poured it all in at once he probably had needed to wait more, giving it all at once could be harmful and leave damage to his throat that he would have to deal with later on. But now Cyrus didn’t care he was furious at Beck for acting like a little brat. Tron’s little brat… not for long, all in time. But now…
Once the glass was empty he let Beck fall back into the bed and put the class down. the young renegade was chocking heavily trying to catch Is breath again. His throat burned just like his arm and shoulder witch had been twisted violently in the opposite direction.
“if you won’t drink it… know that I will feed you” Cyrus said giving an threatening glare down at the boy who had managed( to his own surprise) to stop chocking and was now breathing heavy. He turned around taking big steps towards the door and closing it as angry as possible behind him.
so sorry that this one came in way to late and that it is shorter comparing to the other once,
but the next one will be extra long.
sorry for any mistakes.
Tron slowly stepped forward shaking badly.
“Beck. Beck no…BECK” he let his hands slide over the cubes. They were old and the energy on the flood had almost dried out. This probably had happed the same cycle he had left to the city. He …beck why? A stupid question. Tron knew exactly why. He shouldn’t have yelled. He shouldn’t have pushed Beck so much.
He… he did this. This was all his fault. His mistake.
Cyrus made himself ready for the operation. The mirror pieces had to come out this cycle and there was no more room for delay. They had waited long enough and the code in the young program had stopped renovating itself. In fact, it had started going backwards. Doing more damage than there already was and in a desperate attempt to heal the code had started breaking itself down.
Beck was going to lose his arms and legs if the mirror pieces didn’t come out. And that, that was just problem number one. After the rather large amount of medication and the time Beck had spent under narcosis to get all the other pieces out… there was no actual telling if He would really react to the chemicals. Cyrus wasn’t capable of using more of the heavy medications in fear of the possibility that the boy wouldn’t wake up anymore. His body had grown familiar to the gas he used before. At best he would be able to temporarily paralyze Beck’s muscles so that he won’t be capable of moving anymore, it made the success rate go up. But he would be able to feel …everything.
And that was in Cyrus eyes the biggest problem.
He opened the door and walked into the room.
Beck was laying on his side, one arm still chained to the bed to make sure the wires wouldn’t be ripped out while occurring in sleep mode. Both of them knew Beck wasn’t going to run anywhere not with his legs in this state. Walking over he started to set everything in place. He had to cut open Beck’s skin and get the pieces without doing too much damaged to the head code so that the boy wouldn’t lose his arm during or after the procedure. It wasn’t that hard of an operation. Cyrus had done one similar to this before. But never with such high stakes nor with the patient feeling everything.
“I am going to need you to-“Cyrus didn’t finish his sense. He didn’t have to. Beck turned around cutting him off. He knew what Cyrus wanted, the pieces had to get out. He knew that it was getting worse, his arms had started to hurt every time he turned or moved them in any direction and it was killing him. It felt like he was on fire. “I-I know… just… just take them out… please”
The took a moment to scan the boy before finding the answer he was looking for.
So that’s why Beck wasn’t all acting angry... He had another breakdown.
The thing about depressed people when there alone, is that they can make themselves sad without needing for anyone to hurt them. And while feeling lonely and sad, they will start craving for attention or someone to hear them the can all of a sudden be very stubborn and the very next second want you to stay. Anger build up out of sadness. He should know.
Beck felt sick. He wanted to throw up not even sure why. His head hurt so much, not that he didn’t deserve this. He pushed people away and now they didn’t want him anymore. He wouldn’t want him.
The sheets were pulled up to head Hight. They had been wrapped around him covering himself in warmth. Cyrus had seen this before, it was something common among lonely people to do. It would give them the feeling of being held.
“Beck, I need you to understand that when I start… I cannot and won’t stop. The code in you has gone critical… and I can’t bring you under narcosis.”
Beck’s facial expression turned coinsured. He tried to sit up more “what? Wh-why no-AAARHH” he was cut off when a sharp pain shot threw his body and he fell back into position.
“easy” Cyrus rushed to get the boy back in the pillows. “your body has made an resistance against the earlier medications. It has stopped reacting.” Beck gowned. “how does that happen. “
“it was not the regular… substance I used to bring you under besides, You already were. Using the real thing on you would be… critical.” Cyrus explained while putting on his surgeon gloves having them adjusted to his energy compressors around his wrists. “I can intoxicate you in order for you to stay still. But sadly that won’t do much against the pain.” The man stated in his calm and low voice. Slowly explaining the situation. “what would that matter.” Beck asked. Fear and uncertainty were clear in his toon. “it would make your success rate higher, and it would end a lot… Quicker.”
He looked down thinking for a moment “…al…alright” Beck’s said with a shaking voice. He knew Cyrus wouldn’t let him die. It was going to happen. At least now he had a …sense of choice. The older program nodded and took out a tube filled with a soft color green energy. “you might want to look away.”
“I can handle it” Beck protested but wasn’t exactly sure if the same would count for the operation itself.
Cyrus replaced the sheet so that Beck was laying with his wrists towards him. He would have to change sides during the operation but that didn’t really matter. Suddenly the bed moved forward while Cyrus turned a bright light on and pointing it towards the young program. He took( to Beck’s displeasure) the willows away and chained the boys disc to the table wile opening it and taking the code out so that it was within reach next to him. Dangerous, but necessary. He placed the tube against Beck’s code, taking a moment looking at the renegade to let him get sense of what was about to happen. But there was no stopping. Cyrus was not stopping.
He injected the green energy into the boy who in return let out a moan of discomfort. The liquid spread quickly. Beck could feel a slight tingling feeling starting in his side when before realizing, it was all over his body, it actually didn’t feel bad more of a funny feeling. Meanwhile Cyrus had put on his surgical mask. Beck looked at the man.
He looked alarming and a little bit frightening reminding him of a mad doctor. The young renegade was in total agreement with himself that if a man looking like that ever came up to him in the streets of argon ( or anywhere) he would start running away in the opposite direction the very same Nano that he had spotted him. When Beck wanted to speak out about Cyrus his mask he found that he couldn’t. there was a small yelp coming out of the back of his trout but it was soft and wasn’t sure if Cyrus would have had heard it. The man took out the oxygen mask from the side placing it on Beck’s face covering his mouth and nose and pulled out the wires.
Beck tried to swallow at what was happening not sure if he actually did wanted to see what was happening. The man took all the bandages off and laid the arm in front of him. He went over it gently before bringing the knife to it.
Several shards later
Beck was crying it out in his mind using all his strength to pull away from Cyrus’s blade, but his body didn’t move it just laid still. Beck tried to turn his head to the other side but could only do as much as closing them. He wanted it gone, he didn’t care how. He should have protested or turn away, anything at all even losing the arm was a better option than this. It would have hurt less. Tears streaming down his face. He felt every bit of code pulled out of the way, moved or turned. But the most disgusting feeling was when Cyrus pulled out a piece of his arm. The sound… the feeling that left Beck wondering if he had pulled out code or the piece of mirror. He wanted to vomit. Not the other arm, he was not going to do let Cyrus do the other arm. He could go without his right arm, he could. But he could not do this not any longer.
The man took notice of the tears before refocusing on the boys arm. He took out another one. The deeper ones were smaller and harder to reach. He carefully took it out knowing that it probably wouldn’t matter much. Beck’s entire arm was laid open and exposed, skin striped from his body. He turned to the side making adjustments in the other’s code and to look for more. There was one left, a deep one. Cyrus took the moment of stability to lift his hand up to Beck’s face. Turning it to the other side, he didn’t need to see this. Beck whimpered as reaction letting The man know he was thankful for not having to face the horror scene anymore. He rubbed Beck’s arm slowly.
“shhh, I know. Just one more. Do one more” Cyrus could not hear a reaction. Just some soft cries. He cut deeper in the code while controlling the healing progress of Beck’s arm witch was displayed on the disc, controlling the arms critical level. Once it came in sight He started to hurry for a bit wanting to close the boys arm as soon as possible. It was out with a quick jerk.
He placed the piece next to him and immediately closed the code the best he could. And quickly relocated himself on the other side of the bed.
He looked at the wrist for a Nano before taking action. He needed to operate Beck’s right arm as fast as possible.
He wasn’t expecting the boy to still be awake most would have passed out a long time ago. But that would higher the risk to. Beck, don’t die on me, he thought to himself. When places on the other side of the bed he didn’t take time to look or take a deep breath. Beck’s code was distressed and displeased with Cyrus cutting the arm open. It was generating in stress and in hope of rebuilding itself it was slowing down the younger programs healing. If he didn’t work fast the code would collapse.
And so he started cutting again. The positive thing about the right arm was that it was that there was less damage. The pieces were bigger and he didn’t go all loose on it like the left arm. He should be done faster with this one.
And a few micros later he pulled out the third last one. Two more. Beck’s moans started to get louder. His barely hearable cries had now become soft but noticeable yelps of pain and protest.
“shh… hey, stay with me. Two more, and then never again.” Cyrus whispered trying to let the renegade know he was on his side. That he could trust him. They were on the same side.
Small steps, small and easy steps and Beck would start trusting him again. It would make and be an slow but undeniable process.
The cut deeper and took out the other two and placed them next to him on the metal plate. He turned to the code display of the boys disc and closed the wound up immediately. Closing the disc he took off his energy covert gloves and turned to Beck who was in desperate need of comfort and started gently petting the programs hair while trying to calm him down. leaning into him holding his lips to Beck’s ear. “it’s over, it’s all over” he spoke softly, hushing Beck so that he would calm down. “shhh… go to sleep. I’ll be here.” They stayed like that for a moment before Cyrus pulled back but didn’t let go of his hand. Once again he was going to be there when Beck woke up. That was the message.
He might feel pain… but it was oke, he wouldn’t let him die. He was going to be there to hold him. He would be there every time when he woke up from a nightmare. Manipulative. Slowly but surely Beck would think of how good he was and loving and caring for that unlike Tron, he did care about him.
But from this point on it wasn’t exactly going to be easier. The wounds, were the easy part. Beck’s mental state… could not be fixed with an operation.
TWO CYCLES LATER
Tron scanned the city again. This time for the 24th time in a row. He needed to find Beck.
After looking at the horrific and heart ripping scene Tron had found something.
Because he didn’t found something else. Beck’s disc, it should have been there but it wasn’t. Someone had taken the disc. Someone came in here and took the disc. Maybe they had even started the fight. Took off with the boy. Or anything like that. There was a change that Beck’s disc had decomposed, it had been three cycles. But it was enough for Tron to start a hunt for clues that would lead him to the program that had taken his successor from him. He knew Beck could have dyed, he knew that the missing disc didn’t give any guaranty that he would find the boy alive.
But Tron wouldn’t face it, He was not going to lose Beck. He refused to.
Despite the chances… Tron denied all.
Beck let out a grown. His wrist hurting badly, but a different kind of pain than before. This one was sharper but the other one felt… dirtier? Like an wound from witch the code had been badly infected. His eyes felt heavy and dry upon opening them. Looking around he saw Cyrus…again, sitting on the left side of the bed holding his hand. His head was leaning on the bed side… he must have slept by his side. He moved his hand a bit to find out he had regained feeling in his hand. Pain, but… he could feel again. And he was thirsty.
“awake again?’’ Cyrus gowned not moving his head.
“last time it hurt less” he responded with a soft voice.
He was joking again. Maybe one to cover up the pain, but Cyrus was pleased. Now the healing could begin.
The real healing. He looked up and smiled carefully not wanting to trigger Beck into thinking too much of it. But despite his attempt on keeping the smile on the young renegades face it faded quickly. And Beck immediately looked down to his legs.
“Beck?’’ The boy pinched his hand.
“I-I…”he gave Cyrus a worried look. “I can’t feel my legs”
well this one took longer than i expected it to take.
sorry for that.
buy hey atleast Cyrus is trying to be nice
but he will get in trouble for feeding beck.
the next chapter will probebly be a long one to.
i am planning on making them longer.
Chapter 5: why so hurt?
I AM SO SORRY
this took way longer than i intended it to and i am so sorry it did
but with finals and chrismas and this other thing we have in the Netherlands i have had no time to write at all this too is kind of a short chapter and i am also sorry for that but i promis that i will update one within the next 5 days ( i have time to write now because of break) and one that is also twice as long as this one
thank anyone of you for reading this and feel free to leave a comment
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
I can hear you
I have played your voice over and over again
I can smell you
I have had you so close to me when you wanted to run
I can care for you
And you can love me back… but you don’t need to
Beck was stressing out on the bed letting his hands roam over his legs putting pressure on and squeezing them with a bruising force. Nothing. Beck felt nothing. He was trying to move but couldn’t and he started to think of the worst. No he couldn’t be paralyzed not now, not eve. All the things he wouldn’t be able to do anymore.
Cyrus immediately grasped the boys disc of his back and was searching threw it in a hurry. The surgery had gone right. Beck should be able to walk again so why … what went wrong?, his code was looking just fine or not worse. It had still some building up to do… but that should have never got Beck to be paralyzed.
The boy stopped trying to wake up his legs once Cyrus all of a sudden stopped his rushed inspection on Beck’s code and froze. He expected for the older program to say something but didn’t, instead just as beck was about to question what he had found the former renegade rushed over to one of the computers on the right side of the room leaving Beck stressing looking at his legs and Cyrus switching between them fast. “what did you found…” Beck basically screamed and paused for a Nano to catch his breath “ tell me “. Cyrus didn’t take his eyes of the monitor “the code in your legs has unstabilized due to the slowed down healing, the damage of the wound seem to be worse than I expected it to be and the instability in your code made for the formula i used to paralyze your body to spread out and expand.” Beck looked at the man for a micro before catching the hand of what he was saying. “wait what?, what does that mean” Cyrus sighted “ the liquid used to paralyze you has spread in your legs and damaged the code witch would normally draw it out”
Beck looked down at his legs. So… so he was stuck like this? His arms were fine but he would never walk again? No, no this can’t be happening. Not to him.
“is… is this permanent?” he spoke hope missing in his voice. It would have been better if he had succeeded at killing himself, he was truly worthless now. If he couldn’t walk anymore or protect the innocent then what was left for him other than to just die and stop being so much of a useless unwanted burden.
“Not necessarily, but if your code does start healing again witch is a possibility than you would have to lean how to walk again…” He took a pause after that this was all going to be a lot to take in for the boy and a lot of work to get him back on his feed this in figurative and literal sent.
Beck started laughing a crazy laugh to cover up the fact that he wanted to cry. “so it’s useless” he put his hands in his hair palms covering his eyes “not ne-“ Cyrus protested but was cut off. “Yes… YES IT IS LOOK AT ME…” the older man turned his head to the other side “I SAID LOOK AT ME YOU MADE ME LIKE THIS YOU SHOWED ME HOW USELESS TURLY AM NOW LOOK AT ME.” he tried to hold back the tears as much as he could this monster was not getting the satisfaction of seeing him cry he’s probably laughing on the inside it wouldn’t be a surprise if he started laughing right now.
He walked over to the boy feeling a strange urge in his stomach, like he wanted to help him saying it would be all oke a strange urge to… shelter him. “don’t come closer…just…just-“ Beck began to breath heavily “LEAVE” he was screaming wanting to be alone and not around him. as soon as Cyrus made a attempt to touch him he jerked away putting his hands over his head in form of protection, he made himself small. He was going to have a panic attack. “please” Beck pleaded almost soundless. Despite of the urge in his stomach the older program decided to leave. He wasn’t going to listen to him so there was no point in him staying. After all, he had more urgent business in the city that required his attention more than staying around a boy that was pleading for him to leave calling him a monster.
He wasn’t a monster, not like Tron. Tron broke Beck’s mind twisting it in a manner that he blamed the one that truly cared. He turned around walking hastily towards he door he was going to do exactly as he intended to do for the day. He was going to figure it out. Beck broke, and he was going to find out exactly what Tron and those friends had done that got the boy to give up the fight.
Cyrus gazed over the buildings. He didn’t have to do much to fine out where Beck’s former friends were staying. Witch was not to his surprise nor was he surprised to find out that Mara followed by Zed had taken part in a rebellion group. It existed out of more than just the programs of the garage, but they shouldn’t be a problem they were nothing of matter. Mara had a high stand in the group but despite her urge and her presents of leadership she wasn’t in charge. The rebellion’s choices were made by a selected group of programs with exact opposite ideas that the other ones in charge.
Mara tried to be reasonable to smart out the occupation with small attacks and graffiti jobs… to keep it save but still trying to make a hard hit. Copper and Dash were for a more stern plan with big attacks, big risks and a small chance of success. However all agreed on one thing, contacting the renegade. The word had gone around about his sudden absents and leak in information on his activity. Cyrus sat quietly in the dark corner waiting patiently and observing the rebellion group.
Beck looked at his arms. Scares still showing and unlike his legs…healing. Useless, good for nothing, idiot, no show, always leaving his friends to the hart work he didn’t care about anyone but himself so why should they care about him? He was already doing that himself. He could still hear them saying it, screaming it.
No one stopped them why would they?. In their eyes Beck had done nothing but let others do the work. He could take it though, he could take the screaming, the words, the blame for everything, the punches the once he could not block because they came from the people he would give anything for to save…his friends. He could take it, if it only had been once… but it hadn’t been once or twice or five times. But every time he had gone back, Back to his home or places he knew, the once that made argon not into a city but a home even in this war. He would get yelled at, told to get lost or just…die already. But that was only when he was lucky and when they were calm. They didn’t want him around, at least not at the places Beck…they had called home. They didn’t want him around and he shouldn’t be around at best Beck could only hope for Cyrus to get bored of him or mad. But he could remember it.
“NO LEAVE!” Mara was screaming. Zed stood behind her… like he always did. “Are you truly that stupid? Or do you just all of a sudden started caring?”. He was put on spot. It was four cycles after Pavel had made them leave their home in the garage forcing the programs to go their own way. most of them stock together though. The original plan that he Mara and Zed had was to do just that if ever were to be put on the street… they would survive together. But it was different now. they didn’t want him now. He was unreliable on paying rend due to all the renegade jobs he had to see too, he couldn’t help getting by or be there as a friend when they needed him. He was no good. “You weren’t there when able died, YOU DIDN’T EVEN CARE” no… no that wasn’t true. She closed in on him “and you expect us to care for you? Beck… just… just go alright. We don’t need you bothering us. You didn’t even stand with us. You were gone like you always are.” She walked off in the opposite direction.
“don’t… I don’t feel like talking to someone like you” he said those last words as if he spat out poison. Pure disgust. “You are my friend-“ “no… am not friends with people like you”. And he left , he followed Mara and left.
If that had only been all of it, if it only hadn’t gotten worse… he would have been able to take it.
But it only got worse from there on, Physical from there on.
Beck laid his hands on his legs. He felt like crying but was to tired to do it. There was a strange feeling in his chest something he had felt often lately. Like there was nothing, like he wanted to do something but didn’t had the energy to. Pain was better than that feeling, anything was better than that feeling.
It took half a cycle before Cyrus became absolutely bored out of his mind. He had stand on watch many times. Just micros, cycles even looking at buildings, useless camera footage, a sleeping Beck. BUT THESE PROGRAMS
to irritate him beyond his knowing. How could such a small group of programs that all wanted the same thing talk for half a cycle about ABSOLUTLY NOTHING.
Just when he started to think about maybe showing himself an alarm went off, his alarm. He looked at his wrist and quickly put it on silence. He looked down at the message on his arm, his energy tanks were running empty and if he didn’t change the containers they, he could go in critical state.
And so he turned his back on the arguing mechanics. He could always later find out what had happened but he was feeling rather thankful that he got a good excuse to aboard his mission for now. the only wrong about this was having to face Beck again. Depressed people shouldn’t be left alone, sure they want to be alone but it is not going to help them. In fact it made it worse.
The thing now, was that upon arriving back at the hideout he could find too possible Becks. Either one that is crying and in need of a hug or a very angry one.
He hoped for the sad one. He meant to have the opposite, the happy one. The one that knew how to smile… but that Beck wouldn’t let him come near him never mention hug him. The boy had soft skin a beautiful soft creamy color and a smell… it smelled soft and warm… down from his back up to his sensitive neck. And the way the boy always had a habit of biting those soft full lips of his.
The older program needed a drink. A strong one. He pulled his head out of his fantasies and rerezzed his bike heading back to the hideout. But kept a close ear to a little voice in the back of his mind, which was remembering him of the boys skin.
A really strong drink.
heyyy so i know that there didn't really happen anything big this chapter but i am planning for some bigger thing and a lot more action on the next chapter witch will contain the hug Cyrus so badly wants ( he's lonely too)
anyway sorry if i made anymistakes and feel free to comment and thank all of you for reading and keeping up with my slow ass.
Chapter 6: heal me
oke so his is like 3 min before the deadline ( in my time line) so yhea sorry for that
and sorry for any mistakes
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
When Cyrus stepped into the healing room again he found a mix of a mad and sad Beck. The boy had withdrawn himself into the pillows with his head down and his hands in his hair, his arms leaning on his chest and hiding behind his upper arms and hair.
Not important now.
He needed to get to the healing chamber as soon as possible, he’ll figure Beck out later.
Beck heard Cyrus enter the room but was surprised to hear him walking towards the other side of the bed instead of his bed. He kept his eyes and head facing down. just listening to how the man stepped into the large tube like chamber. What was the doing.? Beck felt the urge to look up but didn’t want to give the man any ideas. He let his eyes slit to the side of the room where Cyrus was.
It wasn’t an ordinary healing chamber, well… it was not like Tron’s healing chamber. Instead of just stepping in and staying there the machine was active. It opened up the man’s bracelets and Beck notices the actual huge amount of small containers( probably meant to hold energy) that were placed inside them. They were taken away and replaced by new once that most likely contained compressed energy.
He couldn’t hear any more of the progress. But what was noticeable was that the changing didn’t take long. As soon as the machine was done with the replacements the man was out and rubbed his wrist. Cyrus was a noticeable program. Lean but strong build. Somewhat skinny but still wide shoulders and strong muscular arms, and a hard chest. The lines on his body had always caught Beck’s eye. They made him look so mysterious and gave a dangerous glance but the boy couldn’t help wondering about them. If they truly ran across his entire body, Or were the only on his suit.? They fit so perfectly with every muscle. If his face was covert then his body had to be too, Did they feel different from normal skin.? It wasn’t until Cyrus looked up into Beck’s direction. Their eyes med reminding the young program that he was staring at serial killer, the man who had killed Able, the man that had sworn to kill and take Tron’s name.
The man walked over to the boy and gently laid his hand on Beck’s hair. He flinched away from the touch but there was more hurt in his motion than hate. “I need to know exactly where you are paralyzed. It might be( is )dangerous if it is at some important point that controls a mature function and it would shut down.” Cyrus started moving his hand from the boys head to his upper leg. “don’t” Beck whispered. “i am not going to hurt you, relax and tell me when you feel something. “no don’t it’s no use.” He just wanted the man to stop and understand, to look at him and understand. He was weak. He couldn’t handle something as simple as everyday life then… how would he ever be strong enough to face this.? He wasn’t strong. Not like this. Giving up was easier. And in his case…better.
“shhhh… you don’t have to do anything… just tell me where you can feel and we’ll go from there.”
Beck didn’t say anything but moved his upper body further back anyways. Now granting Cyrus access to his legs. Taking the blanked off he laid his hand on Beck’s lower stomach. “Beck…”, the man eyed the boy asking if I he could feel or not sins Beck obviously wasn’t really in for a conversation. Beck nodded and Cyrus let his hand slip down wards. So it went on for a while checking exactly where Beck was paralyzed. From his side… down to his back…
To his hips
Beck pulled away from the touch and spoke; “I can check it myself there” , protesting against Cyrus. The boy turned red shocked at this own words. Damn it he didn’t meant to speak up, but to keep a low profile, showing Cyrus it was useless just like him and… the man had his hands on Beck’s hips, his fingers close to the boys privet parts and he wasn’t really convertible with the man’s tough there.
“not a good idea. You might mistake the feeling in your hand with you leg.”
“I just…trust me I can take it from here” Beck had lowered his arms but was still looking down. Cyrus didn’t believe a word of that. He said that once to him before and look where that got him. He cupped the boys fluffily full cheeks and brought their faces close together. “trust me… just tell me where you can feel” Beck turned red and bit his bottom lip.Cyrus his voice was so low suddenly and so… calm and the room…
Who turned up the heat so much.? The man slid his hand to Beck’s upper thigh and squeezed. His thighs are amazing, soft and strong… almost a shame he probably couldn’t feel it. A sharp thought crossed his mind. Beck would look good in thigh high boots. Not important now. Well it is not what he should be thinking about… at least not now. Beck shook his head forcing himself to look back at the ground. He didn’t feel anything there. It was a terrifying realization that he truly was paralyed, To real, to close.
The man moved his hand up and few inches. Not to much just right where his hip ended and his leg started. Beck’s eyes grew as Cyrus pushed his weigh on his body.
He felt that
He felt that
“yes” Beck looked up at the man, his big soft brown eyes containing that little spark of hope, of happiness. It was not something Cyrus thought of seeing this cycle but oh by Flynn’s name it was a warm sight. Cyrus wanted to take it, grab Beck’s eyes, grab that spark and keep it with him all for him forever. But Beck turned away and looked at his legs, breaking the eye contact. “I just- I felt something… it can feel your hand.”
Cyrus started circling around the area of Beck’s leg to see how far he could go. Sadly he couldn’t move down anymore without Beck losing the feeling. “turn on your back. I want to see where I can touch you there.” Well that was some choice of words. But Beck agreed to turn on his stomach. That feeling… that he could FEEL. It gave Beck hope.
Maybe if it wasn’t up to high there was a chance of him walking again. “su-sure but can you…help me turn.? “of course.” Beck turned himself over, Cyrus placing his legs in position. He started working up again Beck telling him where he could and couldn’t feel the man’s touch. Cyrus started to have a hard time focusing. This thighs were so amazing as were the rest of the young program’s long legs. He started to play with his ideas. Beck wouldn’t feel a thing.
Cyrus slowly started working on the inside of Beck’s leg. The inside of Beck’s thigh was warm and soft. He started lower before working up. From almost knee high to his ass. What he couldn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. But he didn’t went up to far he wanted to make sure Beck was comfortable, and touching his ass or member would probably not help with that. He was supossed to make the boy trust him. not assault him.
Patience, make him come to you.
“yes, there. I can feel it there.” Cyrus hummed agreeing and stood up straight again taking Beck’s disc. “what are you going to do” Beck questioned. He had actually gotten relaxed laying on his stomach and arms under the pillow leaning his head on it. “testing. Your legs seem to be the only part of your body that is parlayed, it makes your chances of recovery bigger.”
“how long will It take for us to know.?
“by the next cycle we’ll know.”
Beck looked away from Cyrus. What if he didn’t recover.? What if he did.? He wouldn’t be strong enough to recover and If he couldn’t heal Cyrus might give him what he wanted.
noticing the sad glare that hung around the boy the man was next to his side within an Nano, petting his hair. He let his hand slide threw Beck’s soft locks. “It’s better if you took a shower.”
“thanks” Beck mocked back. This really wasn’t the time for jokes. What joke he was filth. You might not even need to worry about your legs he is already getting disgusted with you. Do you really think you are of any importance to him. Why do you think he is keeping you around.? Maybe he just wants to play with your feelings it would be funny though. You ending up caring for a serial killer. Because that is how messed up you are. Worthless.
“no I just… I meant it. It will make you feel better and help you. Then your code wouldn’t have to worry about your immune system.”
“and how am I supposed to get there exactly.?”
“no am not using a wheelchair.”
“alright that’s fine.” Before the boy could react he was turned on his back again and lifted up into the air in bridal style. Beck yelped at the sudden rough movement. “C-Cyrus what are you, Ah. Cyrus I don’t like to be carried.” The man ignored him and started walking to the door with Beck in his arms. “Cyrus, CYRUS. P-please I’m heavy. Put me down”
“you are lighter than you think.” Cyrus laughed. Beck didn’t see the humor in it. But really. The boy was light. The man had carried him before and even then he was surprised at how light the young renegade actually was. But he was lighter, EVEN lighter. To skinny. Probably the leak of energy and intense training had caused him to lose to much of his weight. An of course the operations hadn’t helped him gaining. He would be sure to give Beck more energy from now on. Still Cyrus couldn’t help but notice how perfect there body’s fit together. Alpha and Omega. Two parts of something bigger. The man liked to thing of his destiny that way. A futher where everything was in harmony. And soon his omega would think just the same of their future.
Beck awkwardly tried to struggle and squirm himself out of Cyrus his grip until exiting the room and the sight took his attention away from the older man.
They were standing in a big round shaped hall and the only flat flaks in the room were those of the doors. There were seven doors in total in he great hall. One of them leading to the healing room. The ground was black with a few circle formed lines on it. The black walls were covert in lining similar to the compressed space. Although there were less of them. when Beck looked up his breath was taken away from him. He looked at ceiling. It was similar to the compressed space but didn’t go all the way up and it was covered in yellow and purple light. It gave away a warm feeling and even though the room was so empty and big… it made it feel cozy and beautiful at the same time. Cyrus looked at Beck’s face, obviously impressed with Cyrus his decorating skills. A feeling of pride came up in the man’s chest and the urge to show off this other work on the hideout was increasing. He was strong enough to carry Beck everywhere. But it was not what he needed to do now. Sadly, they had to move on but made note to show him everything. The world they would create would be just as beautiful.
He started walking to the other side of the room. Beck kept looking up at the moving ceiling. “like it?”
“it’s amazing, did you build this yourself.?” The boy questioned sins it wat so much alike the compressed space. “no I repurposed it…” the man mocked getting Beck to look back at him in the same way he would every time Zed would make one of his terrible jokes. “what are you a joker.?” Cyrus smiled. Their first meeting had been… less efficient than hoped but that didn’t matter now. Not with Beck in his arms. Opening the door on the other side of the room the man stepped into a MASSIVE bathroom with a big bath and a rain shower above it covering the entire ceiling. Next to the bath there was a shower cabin big enough for two people. On the other side there was a mirror with sink also meant to serve two people.
The man carried the boy to the bathtub. Letting the boy slide to the side. He reached for Beck’s disc again. Noticing what the man was planning on doing Beck quickly turned around grabbing the man’s arm. “don’t” Beck really wasn’t fond of the idea of Cyrus seeing him naked and exposed. He turned this face down again because he could feel himself turn red. “just turn on the water.”
“your suit will…”
“I know, I know just…please”
Cyrus sighted but turned to the side and turned on the water. “I’ll get you something to wear after.”
“Cyrus…” the man sat on the other side of the bathtub down next to Beck. “ yes beck .?” His eyes widened when the boy suddenly turned around and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck. He started shaking and didn’t know exactly what he was meant to do with his hands…did he…was he…
“thank you, Cyrus”
yheay Cyrus got his hug.
and will now have to deal with a slowly-growing more attached Beck.
witch means Beck will ask for more and more cuddels.
also Beck does not like sleeping alone because of the nightmares but then agian neighter does Cyrus.
what else am i forgetting?
Cyrus has a pool and loves to take Beck swimming.
so feel free to leave comments and kudos
also sorry for mistakes
Chapter 7: maybe, just maybe
oke so sorry for later update
but i heard something about fanbuariy? with terrible grammer on my side ?
anyway sins i can't really make art online i will do it with writing
this means that i will probably be updating a lot more than usual
also the reason in this chapter for Beck having stiches is that his code needs to focus on healing his legs not his arms
enjoy and remember that english is not my first language
sorry for mistakes
BORNS- ELECTRIC LOVE
The man’s eyes were wide. It took Cyrus a moment to grab sense of the situation. He wasn’t used to being hugged.
Sure, he showed affection to some people but they never showed it back. They always jerked away from his touch and ever sins he got the light lines… this was the first hug he had ever gotten sins he got his lines. People stayed away from him. In some rare chases, like Beck’s friends, programs were interested in them but only as some sort of extraordinary animal they’d found.
But real affection. No. Never.
The man stayed frozen for one more second before wrapping his arms around Beck as tight as he could. The man buried his face away in Beck’s hair smelling the amazing sent of the boy.
He was so soft and unfit for a world like this. He promised himself to make a world better for the both of them. They would be happy.
The water in the tub got higher and now reached Beck’s legs. The boy loosened grip around the other man breaking the hug. But Cyrus didn’t want to leg to yet. The too of them were to far apart from the other. So much as only their chests were touching and Beck was already letting go.
“Cyrus” the man didn’t move. He just listened to the sound of his name being spoken. “Cyrus, the water” Beck shived uncoverable and he man took notice. He let the boy slip back into the tub. And stood up straightening his back again. “I’ll… leave you to it” he turned away and headed for the door walking a lot faster than his normal phase. He was stupid for hanging onto the boy for so long. The kid needed space and this wasn’t helping him.
Closing the door behind him he headed for the second door on his left. He needed to get a drink. There was to much on him mind now.
Beck watched the man leave and stared at the closed door for a few Nanos until the warm water got his attention. The boy turned back to see the tub filling itself hastily. And he hadn’t even noticed. He hadn’t felt it.
Beck took his disc of his back and derezzed his suit and leaned back. He felt the warmth of the water around him. The hug came as an impulse and was surprised himself. But it felt good though, after all that happened he hadn’t even noticed how much he actually wanted to hug someone. To feel save and warm and protected. He was the renegade, the one always out there saving people and making sure everyone was save but he had done it at cost of his own mental health and it showed.
Beck looked down at the stiches around his wrists. It was weird to think Cyrus had done this. Taken him in, caring for him, he had put effort into healing his scares, was patient and he hadn’t screamed at him for being so useless, even though he now truly was. It was so strange… Beck had never seen this side of the man before. So sweet and caring.
Beck had wanted to hug him, and hurt him. A small smile appeared when he thought about the hug. Maybe, just maybe… Cyrus wasn’t so bad, and had a good side.
He’s a murderer Beck. A voice in his head argued. How could a man like that care for anything. FOR YOU. You noticed in the beginning he didn’t even want to hug you. Honestly he just waited for it to be over. He murdered, and not just any program. Oh no. he killed able. What would he say if he saw you like this? So useless and smiling at the thought of a serial killer. Yhea no you are really-
Beck listed to the voice in his head telling him all of this. He had always. First he didn’t think much of it, then he argued with it, then he’d just let it. It was only speaking the truth. He made himself small while listening to it and just begged for it to please let him be for one time. Just one time. He wanted to enjoy the water.
And all of a sudden he was pulled out of the negative voice by he sound of the door opening. “Beck?”
Beck quickly covered his chest with his arms as Cyrus walked in shutting the voice up. “I wanted to give you this.” The man walked over to Beck and hung the black thing ( for as much as he had been able to see of it) over the railing next to the towel, both within hand reach for Beck. Their eyes med for a Nano and then Beck realized his undressed state. He looked down blushing and felt his neck turn red as well.
He looked so amazing. It was the only thing that came up in Cyrus’s mind. He watched the boy bow his head down and was quick enough to see him turn red. His long locks of hair hanging over his faced while they emphasized his cheeks nicely. His pale skin wet and smooth. Highlighting ever inch of his body. The man took the boy in for one moment before turning away again giving him his privacy.
However Beck’s blush didn’t go away when Cyrus did. A small smile formed on his face again. He felt somewhat embarrass but the smile lasted on his face. WHY.
The man was drinking strong energy. While sitting on the floor. He looked out the window at the city. he loved sitting like this. Getting drunk, music with heavy base on the background. It was something he’d missed for so long. And it felt good because while doing so, nothing was hurting him. And yet he didn’t feel like that this Cycle. And all was to blame on Beck.
The man grasped his disc fast and opened his memory looking Back at the moment of Beck in the tub. Soft wed skin… Cyrus froze the memory and threw the rest of the energy in his glass back like a shot. Combining the burning feeling in his trout with the sight of the boys looks. ‘All that you are doing to me.’
Beck was slowly floating on his back with his legs brushing the bathtub floor. He’d never been capable of doing this anywhere actually deep. But the rub was just right. It was actually deeper than the regular bathtub but not deep enough to make for unconfutable situations. It was also big witch made for enough room for him to do this. Beck could get used to a bath like this one. But he just couldn’t fully enjoy It. The thought about the next cycle made him shiffer. What if he would never walk again?
Cyrus wouldn’t want him anymore and there was no way he would be able to build up a life now that he couldn’t work anymore. He could always remove his legs. Replace them just like Tesler had done with his arms. But it didn’t feel right. That still would take for him to learn how to use his legs again.
But Cyrus would want him again.
One thing sure. He wasn’t going back to Tron. The thought of his former mentor made him sad and angry. With the way he had pushed him, took advantage of him, hurt him and the man didn’t even care about anything he did as long as it would benefit him. An horrible person, a virus, an ABUSER.
That was all the man was and all he could and would ever be and Beck disgusted thinking of going back to him.
Tron leaned against the wall downing himself in energy. He needed something stronger. Something else to take his mind away. Bruises already started to form on his body from the fight back in the city. He’d just barely made it out. He was distracted and angry. Not really focusing on the revolution anymore, his mind constantly drifting off to Beck.
Every time he was in the city he couldn’t help but look some place odd. Let a voice in his head command him into opening a closet in hope he would find him. Beck’s disc was gone, there was still a chance he was out there. Maybe even in need of help. What if someone found their hideout and had attacked Beck and kidnapped him. Maybe Beck was out there in pain begging for Tron to find him and save him. And he was just sitting there getting waisted.
Tron felt so out of power. He hated it. He hated not knowing where Beck was or what he was doing or if he was oke, or if he was still alive at all.
Cyrus caught himself falling down after he tried to stand up. He’d lost track of time and the energy from the bottle appeared to be stronger than he’d expected it to be. He leaned on the couch, if he wanted to get to Beck he would need to take a moment to clear his head.
Cyrus couldn’t recall exactly how long Beck had been in the bathtub but assumed it would be cold by now. The man walked, for as much as he could, over to the door. He was actually rather good in pretending to be sober and with the normal amount of drinks he would consume in a cycle, he would have to drink a good amount of energy if he really wanted to get drunk.
But Cyrus still needed to carry Beck back to the healing room and that would take effort and someone who could walk in a straight line.
Beck heard a knocking on the door and shifted into a position in where his back faced the door. This way Cyrus wouldn’t be able to see beyond his back nor lower body for if the man would come in.
“it’s time to get out, Beck’’ the man’s words strolling and forced, but not unkind or commanding.
“sure just… give me a micro.”
Cyrus just hummed and let himself fall against the door, trying to get his head to stop spinning.
He sat there for a few micros before the boy called again. “come in” he mumbled in a soft voice. As if he agreed to do something he’d rather not, and were to be was sacred and tired.
The older man stood up and opened the door. Beck was sitting in the tub wearing the black bathrobe. Well at least he hadn’t left him in there for so long for his suit to be dry again. Beck’s hair was still wet and hanging over his face. The used towel placed to the side though when he walked over he could see that the boys legs were still quite wet. Cyrus wasn’t going to mention it. Beck was having a terrible Cycle and maybe even a worse one when he would wake up.
He leaned in and picked Beck up. Beck, differently from his last time being picked up. Wrapped his arms around Cyrus’s neck and leaned into the touch. The warm water had made him sleepy and affectionate towards the man. But when he pulled Beck up the boy smelled it. Energy, strong Energy.
How he was craving for a glass. Beck had, ever sins the revolution began. Started drinking more and more energy.
Cyrus stopped and hummed at Beck, telling him to continue. “I don’t want to go back there.”
“Be-“ the man began but was cut of by the boy. Not having any of the man’s will and doing now.
“please, I don’t want to go Back… just, another room please.” Beck pleaded while looking up at the man with big begging eyes. The older and former renegade groaned. He’d drunken to much energy to go into protest with the boy and actually just wanted to sit back down and have some more.
“fine” he sighted and took his turn to the second door on the left again. Once inside Beck looked all around the room, pleased with what he saw. The room was mostly Black with impressive line patterns on the walls, Comparable to those of the compressed space. On the left there was a big bar. And on the right a big comfortable couch with a low salon table in front of it. It was simple, but inviting and cozy.
The man placed the boy on the couch while he got another bottle of energy and two glasses. He probably wasn’t the only one who would want to run away from their mind now.
Cyrus pored Beck a glass and gave it to him wile sitting down closely to the other. “thought you might wanted some to, considering next cycle.”
Beck gave a weak smile and took the glass from him. He bit his lower lip before mumbling a ‘thanks’.
The too of them sat in silence for a while before Cyrus asked the question they both knew was coming. “what if you can’t heal?”
Beck took a sip from his glass feeling the burning liquid go down his throat. User this was strong.
“then I want out. I don’t think I will be strong enough to come back from it anyway… But I want out”
“I’ll help you”
“it’s not going to change anything”
“Of course it is, we’ll get you though. Even if you have to… go through a phase or something”
Beck put his palm to his head smiling weakly before taking another sip. “really?”
The man kept looking forward but smiled through his words “I’ll even help you dye your hair.”
“ah yes, in red. The official phase color.” “the boy added. Finding amusement in the thought of coloring his hair in outraged shades.
“or green” Cyrus suggested, trying to think of the worst shade of hair possible. Some shade that Beck would probably be able to pull off anyway.
“pink” Beck said sounding very sure of himself. “I think I would make it pink.”
Cyrus laughed at the thought of seeing Beck with pink hair. Hot pink of course. The man turned his head towards the boy and looked at him for a Nano before speaking, “blond, you would make an amazing blond”
Beck almost choked on his breath at the man’s suggestion. “No, never again, believe me.”
“wait you were a blond?” Cyrus asked honestly sounding surprised. Sure it wouldn’t look bad on Beck but to think the boy actually had been a blond was to much fun to let pass.
Beck took another sip from his drink before letting out a very dry “dark times”
He said it in a way as if he were talking about a near death experience. The both of them took the image in for a Nano before laughing together.
It was so strange for Beck. To be sitting like this laughing with Cyrus. It was all so surreal but it felt good. Maybe the man had a good side. Maybe Tron had been wrong. After all Tron seemed to be wrong about a lot of things in the end.
Beck relaxed a bit Before leaning into Cyrus letting his head rest on the man’s shoulder while moving his body closer to the other program. Cyrus in return put an arm around Beck providing comfort for the boy. Maybe there was another reason behind this feeling save.
Beck felt good sitting like this. The too of them so close next to each other wile watching the city of Argon.
Maybe, just maybe.
Chapter 8: some news
this is kind of a shortchapter but i really wanted to post again sins it's been long time now
i hope you guys enjoy and sorry for any mistakes
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Beck woke up the next cycle with a headache. The energy had been a lot stronger than he’d expected it to be and it took a strong toll on his mind. The room around him was spinning.
Beck just kept his eyes closed waiting for the grind to go away so he could sleep Again but he felt heavy. Or at least, there was something heavy on laying on top of him. when Beck tried to shift he felt an arm pulling him closer under the weight that was laying on top of him. It was heavy but not uncomfortable or painful by any means. Instead, it felt warm, comforting and save.
The man was half on top of the boy while spooning him. Keeping his precious omega save underneath him. The older man lifted his hand up to pet Beck’s hair. The boy himself started to get a memory of what happened the other cycle. He could remember them talking about coloring his hair. But also him leaning into Cyrus, the man putting an arm around him. They must have drunken to much and falling asleep cuddling each other. It felt better than Beck had expected it to be.
The boy leaned into the petting letting the man slide his hands though his hair. Cyrus’s warm breath against his neck. Lips softly toughing his pale skin.
When Beck’s head started to gain sense again het realized he was being held by Cyrus, CYRUS. How could he have let this happen. He put this man into an awkward situation. Now what? This probably didn’t mean much to Cyrus. Just some cuddling both of them needed. Nothing… special. Beck tried to calm his mind thinking of Cyrus probably not having meant more by it other than just cuddling. But that thought only made Beck feel worse. Hating to admit it but he’d actually enjoyed the hug, the hand petting him and he was starting to enjoy having Cyrus around. The man had been nothing but caring for him form the moment Beck had gotten here. And he’d shown his other side of him that was sweet and honest. Beck smiled at the memory of them making joked about his hair.
When trying to think of him as a murderer, Beck didn’t feel angry anymore. It didn’t have any meaning to it anymore or at least no emotions.
Cyrus was laying over him possessively. Arms around him and pulled so close to the man that he was basically underneath him. The man had wrapped the both of them into a blanket and close together.
And it felt good. Really, really good. Beck felt protected and strangely enjoyed the feeling of being held. He was always out saving people risking his life and it felt so good to be held for once. To be protected and save. Not having to be the hero but instead to be held by one.
Beck shifted under the man trying to in some way get closer. The man automatically responding by burring his face in the boys neck, covering the only part of him that was left unprotected. They laid like that for a few more micros until an alarm went off. While Beck tried to ignore it Cyrus immediately looked at a small screen that had appeared on the metal bracelets he was wearing. The man lifted himself up from their position letting the blanket fall off him and receiving protest from the boy. It was cold in the room and Cyrus had been the one thing keeping him warm. Having Cyrus pulling back made the cold roll over his body and Beck hated the feeling.
“Beck” the man spoke gentle and his voice was a little concerned. “your results are back.”
That woke the boy up. He lifted himself back into sitting position and looked at the man’s wrist. He gave Cyrus a unhappy and scared smile. Beck took a deep breath before putting his arms around Cyrus and whispered “what are we waiting for?”
The man put his arms under Beck, lifted him up and started walking towards the medial room. The boy kept his head low and close to Cyrus his chest letting himself be protected under his silhouet. Beck had now fully accepted the man’s touch and Cyrus was glad to see the progress.
When they arrived in the medical room he put Beck down on the bed again and walked over to the machine witch held Beck’s results. The boy looked down at his legs. He didn’t want this, to hear the results. Neither did he want to stay like this. He didn’t want to be paralyzed but neither did he want to walk again, he wouldn’t be strong enough. He didn’t want to die yet neither did he want to live.
Cyrus selected the file and opened it. He was nervous himself. The machine was still connected to Beck’s disc by signal, therefor Cyrus had a constant report on what condition Beck would be in but right now this was the most important medial file of the boy’s life. He opened it carefully before reading over it fast.
When he read the results he read it again, again, again and again. He needed to be sure his eyes were not lying to him. They couldn’t be lying to him.
Cyrus hastily walked over to Beck with the file still open behind him. when he stood next to the boy’s bed the pulled Beck into a strong hug and held him close to his chest.
“C-Cyrus? Cyrus w-what are the results?” Beck didn’t mean to sound so scared but now the results were here the nerves had kicked in and he began to doubt every single thing he’d done in his life. He didn’t want to be paralyzed. He wanted to walk not be useless for the rest of his life.
The man pulled him closer to his chest and stated to pet his hair gently. “shhh. You are going to walk again, Beck” Cyrus whispered in his ear. The boy wrapped his arms around the older program and started crying. Beck didn’t know why he was doing that. He hadn’t felt the need to cry the entire time he’d been in this and now, now it was just all coming down on him.
The older man kept the boy close to him. whispering soft words and continuing to pet his hair in order to calm him down. It was oke now. it was all going o be alright. Beck would heal and the two of them would be happy together. Of course their destiny wouldn’t allow the young boy to be paralyzed. This was only going to bring them closer together
A few micros later Beck had calmed down enough to talk again. “how… am I going to lean… to walk again? I-I can’t even-“
Can’t even what? Stay alive? Do the most simple thing without screwing up? This doesn’t change anything. You are still useless, a burden. He should have let us die. It’s what we want and it is all we can do now. Beck kept his head still as he started to listen to the voice in his head again.
We should be dead. You should kill yourself, you no good for anything at all idiot. Being loved by a killer-
Wait what? Beck caught his attention to those words. Loved? Cyrus didn’t love him. He thought Cyrus was nice but it was nothing beyond friendship and it wasn’t even friendship. The older man thought about it that way as well. Wait did he? Cyrus was attractive but…
What the hell was this feeling in his chest? He man had just cared for him a little what the hell was this feeling in his chest.
“we’ll start out with water. It will be easier to move in it.” Cyrus said as they pulled back and looked at each other. Damn those were some intense eyes. That, to Beck’s nerves went down to roam over his body. The man gave a little smirk before speaking. “It will also give your suit… even more time to dry”
Beck’s cheeks turned full red when he realized he still was only wearing the bathrobe and for the rest was… naked. Oke, he wanted his clothes back. Now please.
Cyrus laughed when Beck turned red and stood up from the bed again. “ready?”
The boy looked shyly up after hastily adjusting his robe so it would cover up his chest again. “G-go? Were?” He asked a little shy after realizing how EXPOSED he had been.
“the pool” Cyrus said as if he had already told Beck twice. The boys eyes grew together with a small smirk on his face. “you have a pool?” Beck asked happily.
Cyrus nodded and put his arms around the boy again. Beck wrapped his arms around Cyrus. He caught himself excited about something again and he was glad. It had been a long time sins he found himself smiling at anything really. Maybe swimming would do him good. And maybe he would be able to get some movement in his legs.
Cyrus walked out and took the first door to the right. Beck made a mental note of this. Witch room he had and hadn’t seen and witch was where exactly. It was good for him to know what was behind what door.
When Cyrus open the door Beck’s mouth fell a little open. It was a BIG room with in the middle a giant pool that looked warm. The blue pool reached in the length of he room and had on the side of the door a big stairs that allowed one to walk in to the pool. It also had a couch, one that was also found around public pools. The ceiling and walls were covert in blue and white lighting. It was really beautiful and gave an calm vibe. Cyrus walked over to the couch and took out his own disc and made sure the metal bracelets were secure around his wrists. When he took out a little screen that showed just two small blue bars he closed it again and walked over to the door. “I’ll be back. You can get ready in the meantime.” The man said with a smile before leaving the room.
Beck took out his disc a little unsure if showing this much of his body would be a good idea.
This all would also mean Cyrus was going to change to his swimwear. Cyrus. Muscular only training everyday tall strong Cyrus. Beck froze for a moment before shanking off the thought in his head. Well at least he was going to get answers on whenever those lines actually did walk all across his body.
When he’d changed to his swimwear, witch was just a pair of body-fitting tight black swimming trunks that reached till normal length, he felt a little nervous. He took the robe off and put it aside in the meantime Beck had also trouble with finding a good way to sit. He couldn’t do so much with his legs but for some reason he was really nervous. Beck knew he should be happy, with the news of his legs working again and all but… he just couldn’t help it for being nervous about what Cyrus might think of him when seeing him so exposed. Beck wanted Cyrus to like what he was going to see and the boy just didn’t manage to find out why he wanted that so badly.
Beck tuned his head from the door to the water. Thinking that maybe this could be fun. Swimming with Cyrus.
don't worry Beck swimming with Cyrus is going to be fun :)