You are so beautiful
You are so beautiful
Can't you see
You're everything I hoped for
You're everything I need
You are so beautiful
Such joy and happiness
Such joy and happiness
Like a dream
A guiding light that shines in the night
Heavens gift to me
You are so beautiful
A beautiful love song, expressing a heartfelt feeling of a man for the love of his life. It had inspired and thrilled millions, but wasn’t having much luck at the present with the emotionally compromised Spock and McCoy. They were concerned with baser problems.
It was a dumb-ass time for a song like that to be echoing through both of their minds. Men are such terrible romantics; everyone knows that. But these guys were way beyond romance. They were in lust. And they had no way to rid themselves of their plight. Well, the ‘way’ we all know. The problem was with the ‘where.’
Mushy love songs really weren’t what were on their minds at the moment. They had stirred up an urgent need in themselves and in each other, then discovered that they had nowhere to relieve themselves of that urgent need. The day room where they’d stirred that need probably wouldn’t be the best spot, especially if they got distracted with passion. They had learned early on that they tended to get tunnel vision when their libidos were ruling their bodies and their thinking. Protocol and etiquette were the furthest things on their minds.
And it tended to make them a little feisty and difficult to live with.
“Any time this century would be fine, Vulcan,” McCoy muttered as they hurried along the hallway of the Enterprise. “You let me know when you’ve found the perfect spot to have your way with me.”
“You know that we would not be having this problem if you would have waited for me in our quarters, don‘t you?” Spock spit out.
“Well, hindsight is a little moot now, don’t you think?!” McCoy snapped.
They weren’t really angry with each other. Quite the opposite, actually. They had gotten each other sexually energized in the day room, then couldn’t do anything about it.
“I am in just as dire straits as you are, Leonard. I am just as eager as you are to be finding ourselves some privacy. Why did you wait for me in such a public place as the day room, anyway?”
“Because I did not want to meet you in private!” McCoy snapped again.
Spock considered the rightness of that statement. “That is logical. Not particularly practical, but certainly logical.”
“You know where you can stuff that logic, don’t you?!”
“I know where I want to stuff something, but it certainly is not my logic,” Spock muttered grimly. “And it certainly is not in me.”
A wide grin cracked McCoy’s delighted face. “What the hell?! Did you just say the smuttiest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth?!” McCoy felt a momentary reprieve for his anxiety. He also felt a levity that the situation did not warrant and even a certain appreciation for the ridiculousness of the situation.
“I’m certain that my present company inspired my lapse.”
“More than one lapse. Don’t look now, but you just uttered a contraction. You must be torn up inside.”
“As I so recently stated, I AM certain that my present company inspired my lapse. And my present condition, on more than one level,” he muttered in a testy aside.
“Yeah, yeah. And you’re developing into a piss-ant spoilsport.”
“Developing? I would be remiss if I did not relate to you, Doctor, what you are developing into.”
“My, my. You are losing control. You just ended your sentence with a preposition.”
“Doctor, I assure you. In the present situation, proper grammar is the last thing on my mind.”
“I bet in another situation, I could reduce you to non-speech, altogether.”
“Doctor, that is not a bet that I wish to take. Right now, I am too close to losing any signs of civilization that I have carefully garnered over the years.”
“I think I might like to draw the savage out in you, Spock.”
“I assure you, Doctor, that you would not care for that experience.”
“I’ll be the judge of that. Imagine all of the grunting and slobbering-- Oops, someone’s coming. Watch your mouth, Spock.”
Two young yeomen rounded a corner ahead of them coming their direction.
“Me?! You were the one who--”
“Sh-h-h!” McCoy cautioned. “Ladies,” he greeted.
Spock nodded at the women. That was all that he could manage in his present state of jangled nerves and over-stimulated body parts.
“Doctor. Commander,” the women’s eyes began to shine as they returned the greeting. Then they began to giggle after they were past their superior officers.
“Did you see that, Cheryl?!” one yeoman demanded.
“I know!” the other answered in a loud whisper. “Tumescent! Both of them!”
“Shh! They’ll hear!” Then there were further giggles. “It’s a wonder that they could walk without bowing their legs!” The giggles faded away.
“What the hell?! Are we in that bad of shape?”
“Apparently,” Spock answered absently as he looked around the hallway. “Maybe we could see if this closet is empty enough to engage in relations.”
“You want to take me standing up in a utility closet?! Damn unromantic, Vulcan!”
“I want to take you, Leonard,” Spock answered with a sigh which showed the exasperation that he was feeling. “At this point I do not care if you are standing up, lying down, or swinging from a trapeze.”
McCoy regarded his companion. “Swinging from a trapeze?! What the hell do you have in your head to do, anyway?!”
“Your face in the pillow and your ass in the air is what I really had in mind,” Spock answered as they stepped into the turbo lift.
McCoy grinned in surprised approval. “Spock. I’m seeing a whole new side to you. I think I‘m kinda liking it when you talk dirty.”
Spock’s glance was not at all jovial and not even particularly friendly. “Who is talking dirty? I am stating facts.”
“Well, I’m kinda liking your facts, then. They put a pretty rosy aspect to the rest of my day.”
Spock looked away grimly. “It might get a whole lot more shocking before it gets better.”
“Not saying that I’m complaining any.”
“Does this damn turbo lift move of its own volition?!“ Spock suddenly burst out. “Or do I have to pick it up and carry it as well as carry you?!”
“Easy there, big guy,” McCoy soothed, halfway amused, halfway turned on. “I’ll get the door shut. Just don’t start ripping out government issued equipment. The powers that be tend to frown on that sort of behavior.”
“That is better,” Spock purred as the door slid shut, but that was the only thing calm about him. His eyes had a hard gleam to them.
McCoy didn’t know if that was good news or bad.
“Take hold of the side control. The turbo lift is starting. Spock! That is not the side control!”
“You hold onto what you wish to grab, I will hold onto what I wish to grab.”
“Well, I won’t be able to give you any stabilization if this metal box starts jumping around. And if you keep grabbing my ass like that, I’ll be seeing stars.”
“Just so I do not make comets go off in you. Yet.”
“Big talk.” McCoy liked the big hand on his butt cheek, but those Vulcan fingertips on his anus were starting to require his full attention.
“No brag, just fact.”
“You’ve been watching too many old Twentieth Century horse operas again, haven‘t you?”
“Somehow, the expression seemed apropos.”
“Well, keep that pawing up and you’ll be ripping the seat of my britches.”
“Well, spread your legs apart a little more so that I do not have to paw you so pathetically.”
Spock calmed with the contact. “It’s a start,” he grumbled.
“You’re talking in contractions again.”
“It’s a wonder that I can verbalize anything.”
The turbo lift stopped and Spock muttered under his breath. McCoy did not ask for or have any need of a translation, but he thought that he heard at least one ‘hell‘ and maybe even a ‘shit.’ Spock’s vocabulary was expanding. Maybe not improving, but certainly becoming more colorful.
In the meanwhile, Spock’s hard grip on McCoy’s butt cheek spoke volumes and told of Spock‘s angst. That needed no translation.
Jim Kirk stepped aboard. He looked from one to the other. McCoy looked bemused while Spock looked about to explode. Kirk idly wondered what was going on between them, but sometimes it was better not to know too much unless one or both of them sucked him into their angst and chaos.
Then Kirk noted that Spock’s hand was hidden behind McCoy.
“Gentlemen.” His stern voice indicated that everyone in the turbo lift should be accountable for only his own, and not other people’s, body parts.
Spock reluctantly withdrew his hand from McCoy’s crack and looked mutinous at the reprimand.
That shifted the tension in the turbo lift. Spock’s eyes intensified. Perhaps he should be allowed to put his hand back onto McCoy’s ass. It apparently had been grounding the Vulcan. But still, a captain should not stand by and allow his first officer to feel up his C.M.O. Of course, Kirk realized, that was the least of what his first officer was doing to his C.M.O. But at least Kirk did not have to watch that.
Or get to. Kirk’s eyes glazed over.
Kirk fought for focus. “Off duty, gentlemen?”
“Headed home, Jim.”
“Then you wouldn’t care to accompany me to--”
“No, thank you, Captain. I feel the need to rest after the excitement of our mission.”
“Ah, yes, rest. I recommend that Spock rest, Jim.”
“Rest,” Kirk echoed.
Kirk studied Spock. The Vulcan didn‘t look tired. More restive, if anything. And about as calm as a hungry predator on the prowl.
“Yes, Jim. Rest.”
“Hmm.” Kirk stepped out of the turbo lift and looked back at them. “You gentlemen enjoy your, ah, rest.”
“Thank you, Captain.”
The door slid shut, and Spock’s stiffened fingers hit McCoy in the ass again.
“What’s that?!” McCoy demanded. “A damn magnet?! I don‘t have iron in my ass, you know!”
“No, but you will soon have a load of copper in it.”
“Yeah, yeah, promises, promises.”
“How come this turbo lift ride is taking so long? This ship is only so big. It is not the Empire State Building, after all.”
“Ha, ha. I’m laughing because that is so funny.”
“You sound more snide than amused.”
“You think?! No, the reason the ride seems so long is because it is. You hit the wrong control when Jim left.”
“I was aiming for your backside--”
“--and hit the wrong control! If you have that kind of aim, it’s hard telling what you will hit if, and when, we ever find some privacy.”
“Ha, ha. Now I am chuckling, Leonard.”
“You shouldn’t try to laugh. It comes out all wrong. That’s more of a leer.”
“Everyone is a critic. Let me at you. Spread your legs, Leonard.”
“What?! That’s the treat you have in store for me?! I’ll tell you one thing, Vulcan! I‘m not gonna be impressed!”
The door slid open as McCoy finished his declaration.
“I am not settling for a dry finger fuck in the turbo lift from an overheated Vulcan!”
Nyota Uhura sputtered with laughter while Montgomery Scott looked perplexed. His eyes darted in anguish from Spock to McCoy. The door slid shut on them as Spock pushed a button and the turbo lift started again.
“Well, it’ll be on the jungle telegraph now,” McCoy muttered. “Bones is gonna get laid!”
“No, he will not,” Spock said with set teeth. “Not unless we find a suitable spot.”
“How about something as prosaic as our quarters?” McCoy announced as the turbo lift door slid open again.
A slow smile spread over Spock’s face as he recognized the hallway to their quarters. “That will be a most suitable spot, Leonard.”
“I figured that would sweeten your disposition a lot.”