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Everyday, everynight.

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On days like this Hyoseob remembers Hyuk.
He remembers him when he wakes up at 5.30 in the morning on a Saturday without a specific reason. The thought of him jolts him awake from his sleep, his heart palpitating so fast that it’s impossible to fall asleep again. He always ends up sitting in the balcony, sipping bitter black coffee from his favorite sky-blue mug, holding tightly around him a warm green pororo blanket. The fresh air hits him right in the face but he got used to the sudden change of temperature a long time ago, and he no longer finds it necessary to change into warmer clothes after waking up. He stays like this for something more than an hour till his coffee turns cold and the first traffic of the day blights the peaceful atmosphere. As the sun rises he admires how the whole sky and city is illuminated with orange and pink hues. The pinkish color of the town cannot antagonize Hyuk’s rosy lips or flushed cheeks- he thinks - and his heart skips a beat as if to confirm his thoughts.

He finishes his coffee and crawls back into bed, losing himself in the static waves of white sheets that at times like this always seem too big to be meant to cover just one body. He closes his eyes and sights, an overwhelming tender feeling rising inside him, it takes over his whole body reaching even the end of his fingertips, as if some sort of magic energy keeps him on edge, making him feel that if he reaches his hand he could touch Hyuk’s hair and lightly graze his cheekbones, that he could feel the silkiness of his skin and caress the curves of his body through the fabric of his oversized sweater, one of those that Hyuk loves to wear partnered with some loose shorts and white, soft cotton socks.

He falls asleep just like this, losing himself in dreams and fantasies that somehow always revolve around Hyuk, only to wake up 3 and a half hours later abruptly by the sound of his mobile phone ringing. Ji-ho reminds him that they had scheduled to meet in the studio in less than an hour, his voice sounding tired and rather hoarse, and he is thankful enough that his friend, despite being awfully busy, remembers his weird sleeping habits and takes the time to notify him and make sure he wakes up and doesn’t arrive late.
The drive to the studio is uneventful and since he has limited time left he only stops one time to buy another cup of black coffee, this time served with milk and some chocolate cookies. The coffee is served in a deep purple mug and he almost ends up accidentally breaking it when he realizes that this is Hyuk’s favorite color. He finishes his coffee in a rush, tips the waitress more than necessary and leaves.

Ji-ho is so tired that they take more than 6 breaks till they finish writing the song. The state of his friend lately concerns him more than usual, but Ji-ho has always been hardworking, maybe too hardworking and too stubborn to let his tiredness confine him. By the time they finish its past eleven and he still has to pass by his sister’s place to pick up Doyou. You look like shit- she bluntly states when he meets her at their parents’ apartment and Hyoseob finds the statement quite funny, biting his tongue and deciding against commenting on her weird appearance consisting of messy hair, pink sweater and strikingly yellow socks. He opts for a “tell mum I said hi” and kisses her cheek instead. Doyou is already sleeping on his arms when they reach his car so he gently puts him on the passenger seat and drives home.

He is half asleep when he hears someone entering the apartment. Even is his sleep state he recognizes the movements. The way that person struggles to find the light switch and how his keys fall every time during that struggle, how he tosses loudly his snap bag and jacket on the kitchen floor and directly heads to the bathroom. The water falling sounds like a lullaby and the next time he wakes up the apartment is quiet and a familiar scent of green apple shampoo lingers in the room. The bed creeks from the left side and the weight on his shoulder feels so familiar, so intimate. He is too tired to open his eyes properly but he still reaches out his hands. The messy hair, the silky skin, the familiar curves of the body- it’s all there. I’m home, the venue was a huge success- says the voice that haunts him in both his dreams and reality, the voice that so easily can steer a variety of emotions and feelings inside him, a volcano ready to erupt. They embrace under the sheets that were always meant to cover both of them and he falls asleep instantly knowing that Hyuk has returned safely from London.
On days like this Hyoseob misses Hyuk dearly, until he doesn't. His heart skips a beat again.