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About Time

Chapter Text

“CUT!” the director yelled “It’s great, both of you. Let’s just try that last part again, see if we can get a better shot.”
Chris was in Atlanta for the Civil War shooting, that was the last scene of the day, the church scene with him and Scarlett. He enjoyed when they had scenes like that, they had so much history together and their chemistry always turned into something special when they were acting.
“That’s perfect! And we’re done for the day, thanks guys!” Joe Russo yelled and everyone started packing their things and equipment.
“Ugh! God, I’m jaded. Why is it so hot in this place?” Chris said as he and Scarlett walked to the hotel where they were checked in, just a block away from the church place.
“Yeah” Scarlet said. He looked at her, she didn’t seem to have listened to his complain.
“Are you okay?” he asked, snapping her out of her thoughts.
“Uh…Yeah, I just- I think I just miss Rose, that’s all. I haven’t been away from her this long” she said, but Chris sensed that there was something else bothering her.
“I understand. Well, we only have one more day of shooting, then you can go back to see her”
Later that night, Chris was in his room having dinner and worrying about her, sad to think that she probably wasn’t feeling any better. The truth is he never stopped feeling they was he once felt about her, he just succeeded on ignoring it, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to make her feel as happy as he could, he felt as if it was his responsibility to cheer her up at that moment when she had nobody else.
A few minutes later Scarlett heard someone knocking on her door, she tempted to just pretend she was asleep, even though she was sure she wouldn’t be able to sleep properly that night. But instead she decided to open the door. Chris Evans was standing in front of her in his sweatpants, holding her favorite movie in one hand and a large bag of Gummy Bears on the other one. She smiled.
“What is this?”
“I thought it might cheer you up.” He shrugged, smiling back at her.
“I think it’s already working!” she laughed “Come in.”
Chris put the movie on the DVD and they sat on the bed to watch it, the bag of Gummy Bears in between them. This wasn’t a strange thing for them. With so many days traveling to shoot Marvel movies, there was a lot of free time, and they shared so many interests that usually they found something to do together.
By the end of the movie, Chris looked to the side, she was asleep. He smiled and tiptoed his way out of the room.
“Hey…” but she had woken up.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you”
“No, it’s fine” she said, walking towards him. “I’ve a very light sleep”
“I know” he said. The next moment they just looked at each other. They never knew what to say or how to react when one of them said something that acknowledged the fact that they once were much more than friends.
“Anyway, I just… Thank you. That was really nice of you.” She said, smiling.
“You’re welcome” he smiled back “And look, I know there is something else bothering you, I respect that you don’t want to talk about it. But whatever it is…It’s gonna be fine.”
“I don’t think it is. But thank you”
He gave her a long hug. She embraced him so tight he felt butterflies in his stomach and his heart ached.
“Good night”
“Good night”
__

Chris went back to his room and lay on the bed, but for a long time his eyes remained wide open and his thoughts traveled back to memories that he had never allowed himself to remember. It was during the filming of Nanny Diaries, he and Scarlett have had worked together before and were good friends since then, but when they were together again on that set something changed and they connected in a way neither of them thought to be possible. Before they even had their first screen kiss they were having secret dates and long nights together, making love and watching movies. They were in love, and if it was up to him they would still be together, but Scarlett had a conviction that if they made their relationship public the exposure would ruin their relationship and she valued his friendship too much to let that happen. He tried to argue and convince her otherwise, but after a while he just accepted it and they have been just friends since then. But when you end a relationship the way they did, it’s much hard to get over those feelings, that’s why he never did. And he tried, he really did. As the years passed he learned to live knowing that he would never feel that same way again towards anyone else, and he remained by her side, proud of the friendship they had maintained and glad that he had the opportunity to work with her so many times. Now and then those feelings would come back stronger and he would consider telling it all to her, how he had felt all those years. He even thought it would help if he opened himself to her and shared his feelings, but to do that would mean opening that wound again, the wound he took years to close. So, he remained in silence, and she did the same.

Chapter Text

After the premiere of Civil War, Chris and Scarlett went a long time without seeing each other. She wasn't on any of the press tour or interviews. After that, Chris went back to stay with his family, those were the times he felt most happy, and he could say he didn't need anything else for the rest of his life, but that wasn't completely true. There was someone missing, someone he could consider sharing a life with, starting a family of his own. He never discussed that with anyone and people always made jokes about it, but deep down he was afraid he would never find that person. No matter how many times he tried and gave chances, he never found someone who would fit that part nearly as perfectly as she did.

On breaks like this, on which they would spend a lot of time away from each other, it was easier to think about her in a platonic way, but there were times when he wished she was there, more than anything, and he would think about all the great moments they once shared. It was different when they were face to face and she was near him, he felt as if wanting to run away from her but at the same time, she made him laugh and they could chat for hours and hours without any weirdness or discomfort.

Of course, that was only when they were working together or found themselves at the same event, so Chris could prepare himself for those periods of time. But on that year, something different happened, they were both invited to the USO tour where they would spend four days traveling to different air bases. It was completely different from anything they had done together, not just because of the different activities, but mostly because there wasn't any filming crew or other co-workers with them, they were the only actors there, so they spent most of the time together, answering questions, participating in the training activities...

 

______________

 

It was past 10 pm when Scarlett heard someone knocking on her trailer door. It could only be him, she got up from her bed and went to open the door.

"Hi," she said, inviting Chris inside.

"Hi. You hungry? Of course, you are. I brought dinner." They had just arrived at the air base of Afghanistan, from Turkey, it was late so the activities would only start in the morning. It had been only two days of the tour but there were so much to do that they felt as if they had been traveling for an entire week.

"Oh, thank you! I really am hungry but I was too tired to go get it. I was just going to eat in the morning." she said, opening up the packed dinner.

"Yeah, I figured. Plus, I wasn't going to eat by myself. And..." he grabbed something from his bag and gave it to her. “I got us a movie! I know we’re probably going to fall asleep before it even starts, but it’s tradition.”

She laughed. “How the hell did you managed to find a movie in here?”

“One of the guys I was talking with while grabbing dinner had it in his bag. I don’t know it but he said it’s good. It’s a war movie or something like that.” He said, unpacking his dinner.

“Well, let’s watch it then.”

They sat on the bed and ate their dinner while watching the movie. But either they were too tired or the movie was too bad, because near the middle of it they were both fast asleep, one on each side of the bed.

 

“Chris” He woke up and saw Scarlett standing at the side of the bed, looking at him. The sun shining through the window made him realize how inconvenient it was for him to fell asleep on her trailer.

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry” He apologized, standing up so fast he almost knocked her off her feet, and started putting on his shoes. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I-”

“Hey! It’s fine!” She said, forcing him to stop apologizing. “I just woke you up because it’s almost time for our morning activities” she said, sating on the bed.

“Oh, right! Thanks for that!” he got up, grabbed his stuff went towards the door “I still gotta take a shower before I go.”

“See you later” she said as he went through the door

“See you”

 

 

Later that night Chris was ready to sleep when he heard someone knocking on the door. It had to be her.

“Hey, everything alright?” he asked, for she didn’t have a much happy face.

“Did I leave my hoodie here for some reason? I can’t seem to find it and it’s freezing cold. I won’t be able to sleep without it.” She said. He smiled

“A hoodie?”

“What are you smiling for?” she said, not helping but smiling too

“Nothing… It’s just with the face you came here I thought something tragic had happened”

She laughed “Well, it is tragic! It’s the only one I packed!”

“I’ve never even seen you wear it, how could it be here?” he asked

“I don’t know. It was my last hope.”

For a moment, he just looked at her. He knew she didn’t really thought her hoodie could be there. But she was looking at him as if asking for help. He thought it funny.

“Alright!” he said, pretending to roll his eyes “You can borrow one of mine, come in.”

A wide smile appeared in her face at that moment. “Aw, thank you!” And followed him to his suitcase.

“Here. Just pick one” He said as he laid three different hoodies on the bed.

“Hmmm… The blue one” She said, pointing at her chosen one.

“Alright, here” He said, handing it over to her. “Sleep well.”

“Oh, now I will” she said as he put the other two back in his bag. “Thank you.”

She gave him a hug and left.

 

Moments later she was ready to fall asleep on her bed, wearing his hoodie. It smelled like him, of course. But she wasn’t expecting to feel such a powerful sense of comfort and security with that scent. It brought her ten years back in time, when her favorite pajamas were his hoodies and shirts, mixed with himself beside her, holding her. The moment those thoughts reached her she regretted having borrowed his hoodie. For so many years she lived without even thinking about those three months. Putting an end to their relationship was one of the most difficult things she had ever done, so she tried her best to wipe all those memories off her head. But being there with him, spending so much time together… Those memories came running back and she felt the same thing happening to him. On that night, she let every single one of those memories fill her thoughts and guide her to sleep. She dreamt of him, of those three months, and a smile appeared on her face.

 

The next morning, she woke up and packed her suitcase, it was their last day and their flight home left in a couple of hours. She went to return his hoodie.

She knocked on the door. After a while he shouted from inside. “Come in! It’s open!”

She heard a sound of water running so maybe he was in the shower. She got inside the trailer and waited by the couch. Two minutes later he showed up, wearing jeans and drying his hair with a towel, shirtless. Not a good sight for someone who had just dreamt to be kissing that same person. “Hey, ready to go home?” he got closer and sat next to her.

“Uh, yeah...”

“Are you okay?” he asked, snapping her out of her thoughts

She decided it would just be easier to deal with that situation if she had a little fun with it.

“Okay, first, put on a shirt please. This is insulting” she stood up, pretending to be upset.

“What?” he didn’t believe, of course, but went along with it.

“Just go.” She could barely hold her laugh. He was already laughing.

“Alright, alright” he went to the other room and opened his suitcase. She followed him.

“How come you’re so big? We’re not even about to shoot anything for Marvel” she sounded indignant.

“I’m trying to maintain a decent shape so I don’t have to, you know, torture myself so much later”

“Oh well, congrats or your commitment.” She said as he put on a white shirt that was clearly too small for him at that shape.

“Better?” he asked. She looked at his chest and could still she every muscle shape.

“Not really”

He rolled his eyes. “What do you even want here?” he asked

“Wow, is that how you talk to me now? Okay, I think better go. Oh, and you’re not getting your hoodie back. Bye” she said and started to walk towards the door

“Oh, no. C’mon, let’s start over, okay?” he said blocking her way.

“Scarlett, hi! How nice of you to come see me. How can I possibly help you with?”

She laughed at his performance.

“Actually, I just came to return your hoodie” she said, giving it to him.

“Oh, thank you very much” he said, taking it. “Served you well?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah” she answered, they were standing very close to each other. “A little smelly, but it kept me warm.”

“Really?” he asked in disbelief. She nodded.

He took the hood to his nose and smelled it. At this point, both cracked up and started laughing. After a few seconds their eye met and you could tell they were both thinking about the same things, maybe it was the closeness, or maybe the situation reminded them of something. They stopped smiling and for a few moments none of them said anything.

“Uh, anyway” Scarlett said, breaking the eye contact and taking a step back from him. “Thanks for that, it was really nice of you”

“You’re welcome” he said, their eyes met again and the silence fell one more time.

“Hey, you know what. Here, you can have it.” He said, handing it back to her.

“What? No, it’s yours, you don’t have to-”

“C’mon, I know you love them. At least you used to.” he smiled.

“I still do” she said, accepting it from him.

“I remember you would always steal them from me.” He said

“Hey, that’s not true, you gave them to me”

“No, you just left wearing a different one every time, and never returned any of them”

“Well, you never asked for them back either”

“I didn’t have time to”

Silence fell. It was the longest conversation they had involving memories from that time. When both realized that, the mood of the conversation changed, their faces turned very serious. Scarlett looked down and after a few moments she began moving towards the door again.

“Here” she said giving the hoodie back to him. “I better go”

But he blocked her way once more. “No, please. We have to talk about it.” He said. He sounded tired.

“No, we don’t-”

“I do”

She shook her head and bit her bottom lip.

“Please, don’t do this” she said

“No” he grabbed both of her arms “It’s been ten years, Scarlett. Ten years. And we still pretend it never happened. I know it was probably easier for you that way, but not for me.”

He took a second to choose his words and continued

“You keep saying I have to find someone to marry and have children. That my clock is ticking. But I can’t. I’m stuck, I realize that now. I’ve been feeling the same way for ten years and I don’t think it’ll ever go away. It is you and there’s nothing I can do about it, you were the closest I was of finding that person. It was a perfectly good relationship and it just ended, we never found out where that could take us, so I’ve never really gotten over it.”

She just listened, looking surprised and scared at the same time.

“And I tried, I really did. But every relationship I had after that was a complete disaster, I kept making comparisons. I just couldn’t settle for less than what we had. I know you did, but I couldn’t.”

She looked down and a sad smile appeared on his face.

“You said our relationship couldn’t work because we were both famous and it would ruin our friendship. Yet, a year later you were marrying Ryan… Do you know how bad that made me feel?”

She looked at him and meant to say something but he started talking again. A little louder this time.

“But it doesn’t matter now…” There was a mixed feeling of anger and sarcasm in his voice “No. Cause we’re here, and we’re friends, we’re really good friends. And you have your own family, and you’re happy. And I’m just a guy with commitment issues.”

He finished and waited. It was the time for her to say something but it seemed like the whole thing had been too much and she didn’t know what to say at that moment. He understood that, with a sight he reached for the door knob and held it open.

“Thank you for listening” he said.

She didn’t move. Seemed like she was deciding if she was going to say something. But after a few seconds, she walked through the door and left.

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text

Chris was lying awake on his bed for so long, he just didn’t have any strength to move. He kept thinking that maybe he went too far, that this time she might be really upset with him. But he felt like saying it all to her had really helped him, not about the feelings he had for her, but about having to hide them and always pretend nothing happened.

Someone knocked on his door, he thought for sure that it was someone reminding him that their flight was about to leave. But it was not.

“Hi” And there she was, standing on his trailer door, like nothing had changed.

“Our flight got delayed. By three hours” she said.

“Oh, really?” He asked, more politely that usual and a little confused.

“Yeah”

“Okay…Thank you”

Silence fell as they looked at each other, not knowing what to say. Then, with a sight, Chris started.

“Listen, I’m sorry” he said as she entered the trailer and closed the door. “I know I went too far, It’s just that… I had to. And it helped me, really, not the way I was expecting, but it did.”

“Chris-”

“No, I’m not asking anything from you, I don’t want to jeopardize what we have, I just-”

“CHRIS!” she tried again. He finally let her talk.

“Sit down”

“What?”

She shrugged “Well, if it helped you… I might as well try it. Also, I felt like you still don’t understand what I did and how I feel about you, so…My turn” she smiled slightly and waited for him to sit down, then she sat in front of him and started to talk.

“You were right, it was easier for me to pretend those three months never happened. I thought that by not thinking about it, or talking, it would go away faster, so I forced myself to erase that from my memory. Well, I tried. And all these years I just ignored whenever you tried to talk about it or say the things you said to me earlier. Because I already knew what you had to say, all of it, and I knew how much it would hurt to hear it.”

“You knew?” he asked, confused.

“Of course, because I went through the same things. You think I didn’t know? You think I don’t feel how you want to runaway every time we’re close to each other? You think I don’t see that you look at me the same way you did ten years ago? That your hugs are still the same? You think I didn’t realize that the first movie you directed was about us?” She had a sad smile on her face.

“You said you were never able to get over it, and of course you weren’t, how could we? It was a perfect relationship, you were right about that too, and it just ended, we didn’t fight or yelled at each other, or said any hurtful things, it just ended, but we couldn’t just stop feeling the way we did.”

Now all Chris could do was remain sit and look astonished.

“And I did settle for less. But I ruined every relationship I had after, you know that. I married, and that gave me Rose, but right now we’re just waiting for the divorce papers to come out. And Ryan… another ruined relationship, and part of it was the exposure. We barely talked after it ended. The same thing would happen if we-”

“You don’t know that-”

“Yes, yes, I know how you feel about that, what I’m saying is, I couldn’t even imagine not talking to you ever, and the slight possibility of that happening…So please, don’t think I married him because I loved him more. And that you’re the only one who couldn’t find someone, I just gave bigger chances than you did.”

She finished and looked down at her hands, as if not wanting to face him anymore. None of them talked for a really long time, then Chris looked at her and waited for her to finally raise her head to face him.

“It is really, really difficult for me to hear you say these things right now.” He said, slowly.

“I thought you knew.”

“Well, I felt things but you never wanted to talk about it so I…” He sighed. “I think I just didn’t want to believe that all these years, we’ve been feeling the same way about each other, and that still, there’s nothing we can do about it. But knowing it… it just…”

“I know” she said “And I know it’s my fault. But I really think it’s for the best.”

“You know how I feel about that” he continued “But I’m not going to argue with you, I respect your decision as much as I did before”

“And I’m very thankful for that” she smiled, then raised her arm and ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eye for a split second, instinctively, and smiled back.

Their eyes met for a few long moments, then he looked down, bit his lip and shook his head in disbelief, he never thought they would really have this conversation, at the level they had just did.

“I’m sorry” she said “I wish there was a switch where we could turn these feelings on and off, or change them, but there’s not… We love who we love” She finished, he looked at her and a gentle laugh came from his mouth, surprised to hear the line from his own movie, the movie he did for her.

“Yeah” he said, smiling “It sucks.” He shrugged. They both laughed, enjoying that moment as something that only they shared, and that would always belong to the two of them, no matter how many years passed.

 “Hey, I just remembered. I still have that movie we were watching. We can finish it while we wait for our flight.” She said

“Yeah, I guess we can do that”

He sat at his side of the bed as she put the dvd on. But, for his surprise, she didn’t remain at her side as she usually did. She sat very close to him, hugged his arm and placed her head on his shoulder. He almost hated her for torturing him that way, but instead he just enjoyed her closeness and after a while, he grabbed her hand, and they remained like that through the entire movie.

 

Chapter Text

 


 

“Oh man, really?” Said Chris, he and Scarlett had just arrived at JFK airport, and one of the USO Tour crew member had just told them that, because of the delayed flight, they had lost the last flight to LA.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry, but they’ve already booked hotel rooms for both of you and you’re on the first flight to LA tomorrow.”

“Which is?” Scarlett asked

“It leaves at 11am. It’s late, I know but it’s the first one, no plane will take off before that because of the fog, it’s hard this time of the year”

“Yeah, I figured. Oh well, thanks for taking care of it though”

They said goodbye to the rest of the crew and headed off to the hotel.

__

 

“I’m sorry you have to wait one more night to see Rose” Chris said, while he and Scarlett went up the elevator to their rooms.

“Oh, it’s okay, I would only see her tomorrow anyway, she’s with her dad”

“Oh, okay.” He felt the shakiness in her voice, but it didn’t feel right to ask

They’re rooms were one in front of the other.

“So, maybe you want to come in for a movie later” he asked, while they opened the doors

“Of, course. I wouldn’t want to break the tradition, would I?” she said, smiling

He laughed. “Of course, not”

“Alright, I’ll bring the candies from my minibar”

“Nice! See ya”

__

Later that night, the two were sitting on the couch of Chris’s room, watching The Great Outdoors, a movie that both enjoyed and knew would make them laugh and lighten the mood. Actually, it would make Chris laugh a lot more.  At one point, Scarlett found herself just staring at him, it was nice to see him happy and laughing at the stupidest things.

sofa

“What?” he asked as he was just cleaning up a tear from the corner of his eye.

“Nothing” she shrugged “I was just watching you laugh” she said, smiling, turning her head to the TV again.

Chris’s heart raced, it wasn’t a very wide couch and only now he realized how close she was and how happy she looked. She usually was, whenever she was with him, and he was very proud he had the ability to make her feel that way and that she enjoyed his company as much as he enjoyed hers. But right at that moment he was just trying really hard not to lean in and kiss her.

“Alright, stop” she said, snapping him out of his thoughts and making him realize he was the one staring at her this time.

“What, you were doing the same thing!” he said in his own defense, in a playful way.

“Well, not like that.” She said, a little insecure, not looking at him

“Like what?” he asked, his face turned serious, he knew what his face probably looked like, the same one from ten years ago, but he just wanted to see if she would say it.

She looked at him and for a moment no one said anything, then she looked away again.

“You know what I meant” there was a tone of embarrassment in her voice, as well as a little bit of sadness.

“I know” he said, looking down at his hands. “I just don’t know if I can help it”

Scarlett looked at him. He looked back at her and smiled.

“I guess you’ll just have to get used to it” he said.

“I can’t do that” she smiled back. “And I’ve tried, trust me”

His eyes fell to her mouth and her felt her eyes falling to his. His heart raced and at the same time, both started to lean over to each other. ‘what the hell are you doing’ he thought to himself. He never wanted to runaway as much as he did at that moment, but he never wanted to kiss her more either.

He raised his hand towards her face. But just as he was about to touch her she moved his hand away and stood up.

“I have to go, I’m sorry”

 “What?” he asked as she went towards the door

“I’m sorry, I’ll see you tomorrow okay”

“Wait no!” he followed her “Hey, this is exactly what we didn’t want to happen, remember?” he said, hoping it would stop her

“What?” and it did. She stopped and turned around to face him.

“Us… away from each other? It’s exactly what you’re doing”

“I know, I know” she said, shaking her head and taking a deep breath. “The truth is we should have never had that conversation, Chris. I don’t know what happened but, it’s just different now”

“Yeah, I can feel that, and I’m sorry. And you can go if you want, but honestly, I don’t think running away is the solution. In fact, I think it will just make it worse.”

“I don’t wanna go Chris. But… you felt what was about to happen right, I know you did”

“Yeah I did”

“This is bad Chris”

“is it?”

“What?”

“I’m sorry, I just can’t see how us wanting to be with each other can be bad when the only possible alternative is saying ‘goodbye, see you tomorrow’ every time we feel that way”

Scarlett opened her mouth immediately to say something but seemed like nothing came to her. She stopped and looked down for a moment to think, then she looked back at him and laughed gently.

He didn’t understand her reaction “What?” he said, confused

“Nothing, is just…” She shook her head and her laugh turned into a sad smile. The she shrugged as if giving up on something “You’re right, that makes no sense”

He smiled, as she was finally agreeing with him on something “Right?” he said.

She took a deep breath and they remained in silence for a moment, just looking at each other.

“But Chris” she said, breaking the silence “You know what’s gonna happen right? If I stay.”

He nodded “I have a clue, yeah”

“And you still want me to stay?” she asked.

He laughed gently “I’m sorry but… I would be the most hypocrite person in the world if I said I didn’t”

She smiled and looked down “Yeah, me too” then she looked back at him and he could feel her breathing starting to accelerate. And his heart started doing the same.

She shook her head in disbelief. “oh, shit” she reached for the remote at the side table and turned the TV off. He just watched her as he walked towards him, his heart pounding faster than ever.     

She stopped, inches from him. He held her face with his hands, it’s been so long since she was this close to him, he wanted to memorize every detail. His fingers ran through her hair, gently caressing her cheeks and down to her neck. After a few moments, she made the final move and pressed her lips against his. Shivers went down his whole body as he moved one hand to her waist and brought her closer to him. Her hands went down his arm and through his hair. The kiss went on, slow and passionate, until they finally had to separate and catch their breaths.

“Oh God, I just realized” Chris said, still breathing hard

“What?” She asked, looking slightly concerned

He raised his hand, moving a lock of hair away from her face “I miss you…so much more than I thought I did.”

She smiled and nodded before initiating another kiss, a more intense one this time. Her hands slid under his shirt, feeling his back muscles as he moves the kisses to her neck. They were in no rush at all, it was like they didn’t want that moment to end so they would make it last as long as possible. At one point he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist while he carried her to the bed.

kiss

Gradually, each piece of clothing fell to the floor as they ran their hands down every inch of each other.

Throughout the night they allowed themselves to turn ten years back in time, block the world outside that hotel room and just focus on feeling every sensation on their bodies. No words were necessary for they moved as two pieces crafted perfectly for each other. And actually there were no words to describe what they felt since none of them had felt anything like that before.

love

 

Chris had woken up a few minutes ago but he still couldn’t move. He still couldn’t believe that she was right there, wrapped in his arms. Her beauty, her skin, her smell, it all felt like a dream. He had never felt more relaxed.

Trying to make as less movement as possible, he reached for his phone at the side of the bed. 8:30 am. Soon they would have to leave and catch their flight. Then he noticed, there was also a text from his manager saying he had booked an appearance for him right there at NY on the next day, so it would be easier for him to just stay there. Chris texted him back saying he would do it and asking him to move his flight. He was sad that now he would have to say goodbye to her a little bit sooner, ‘but maybe it’s better this way’ he thought. His heart ache at the thought of saying goodbye to her. Despite everything that had happened, he knew that nothing would be different, they would go back to their lives and he would be left with the memories of the previous night, wondering when he would see her again.

Since she would have to wake up soon, he reached for the hotel phone and called to order their breakfast, pancakes, he knew it was her favorite. After he finished the call he felt her shift beside him. He wrapped his arms around her once again and began placing kisses on her shoulder, going up to her neck. She raised her hand and gripped his hair, gently.

“Hey” she said, with a slight hoarse voice.

“Good morning” he whispered against her neck.

“What time is it?” she asked, turning around to face him

“Half passed eight” he answered.

She kissed him gently, but he felt it just as the first one.

“We gotta get going soon.” She said

“Actually, YOU gotta get going soon”

“What do you mean?”

“Well my manager just texted me saying he booked something for me in the city tomorrow so I gotta stay”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah”

Before she could say anything related to saying goodbye, he kissed her again.

“Oh, I have to put my pants on… I’ve ordered pancakes for us! They should be here at any minute”

“Oh man, pancakes?” she said as he got off the bed “I was planning on a light breakfast today”

“It will be okay. I think you’ve burned enough calories last nigh” he said, putting on his sweatpants. She laughed.

*knock knock*

“Hey, that must be it” Chris said and started to walk towards the door.

“I’ll be right there okay, I’m going to take a quick shower” she said

“Alright”

 

Chris had just finished setting up the table when he had the most beautiful sight. He was glad to have sat down. She walked out the bedroom door wearing nothing but his hoodie, that blue one she had borrowed a few nights before.

hoodie

“What?” she asked, laughing gently. Only then he noticed how big was the smile he had on his own face. He got rid of it shaking his head.

“Nothing” he said “I just had the most beautiful déjà vu”

She smiled

They ate the pancakes, talking and laughing about random things that had nothing to do with the previous events. It lightened the mood, made them feel relieved to see that nothing had changed.

Soon after that, it was time to say goodbye. She was standing at the door, wearing the same clothes from last night and his hoodie on her hand, she would definitely keep it this time. For a few moments they just stood there, looking at each other, both thinking about the same things, afraid of the same things. But she smiled, and he couldn’t help but do the same. He gave her one last kiss and a tight hug.

And she left.

Chris had never felt so many things at the same time. The happiness was still there, along with her smell and the feeling of her skin against his. She had just left but he couldn’t help thinking about when he would see her again. Afraid of that next encounter, ‘what if it gets awkward the next time we see each other?’. But above it all, he felt a huge sense of emptiness that he knew for sure wouldn’t be gone until he saw her again.

 

Chapter Text

*knock* knock* “Hey, you ready?”
Chris heard his sister knocking on his door. “Almost, come in.”
They were in a hotel room, getting ready for the Oscars ceremony. He was bringing his sister as his date, it was always nice to share these moments with his family and he was glad to have her by his side. But as happy as he was, he couldn’t help feeling nervous about meeting with that one person.
Him and Scarlett hadn’t seen each other since that night, the most amazing night of his life. The only time they got in touch was when she texted him to ask about the Oscars.
Hey, you going to the Oscars, right?
Yep
I’ll arrange for us to sit together
Niiiice
And that was it, like nothing had changed. And that was good, in a way. However, he didn’t know how it would feel to see her again.
“I think the car is here, let’s get going” Chris said. He finished his tie knot and they left the room.
While waiting for the elevator he kept thinking he should tell his sister about the whole situation. Not just because she would meet with Scarlett at the ceremony but because he always shared things like this with her and maybe it would be great to have someone to vent to.
“Hey, I feel like you should know some things about Scarlett before we meet her tonight. Just to avoid any awkward situations, you know” he began
“Oh, yes please. I don’t want to say anything that would be embarrassing to her”
The elevator arrived, and they went in.
“Oh, it’s not like that, well, one thing is she’s not married to her daughter’s father anymore, so that’s a subject you should avoid. But most importantly…” he paused to think of the words more carefully. They arrived at the ground floor and began walking through the lobby towards the car.
“What is it?” she asked
“Well, there’s a… situation going on between me and her. Sort of.”
“Wait a minute, are you dating her?” she had a big smile on her face.
“Uh… no” Chris laugher, awkwardly. “It’s, uhhh, more complicated than that”
The driver was waiting outside the car to open the door.
“Hi, thanks man” Chris thanked him
Once they were inside the car, the conversation continued.
“So, what is happening between you too?” Shanna, like most of his family member, was always very curious about his love life. Mostly because they always hope he will find someone to settle down with. And since he knew that, it was best to just tell her everything. Well, not everything, just enough for her to understand, and he wouldn’t want to bring too much memories back to his mind, just minutes before seeing her.
“…after that we never saw each other again so, I don’t really know how awkward it will be” he said, after finishing the whole story.
His sister took a few moments to process the situation.
“So… It was just that night. You’re not dating her?”
“Uh... No, yeah, it was just that night”
“And you two never even talked about it?”
“Nope”
“That’s not very much alike you. Is it?” she asked.
Chris laughed. “No, it’s not…But, I think it’s more meaningful than it sounds” he said with his head down, embarrassed to talk about his feelings. His sister smiled.
“You like her?” She asked.
He laughed again. To say he liked her was the biggest euphemism he’d ever heard. But again, would never be able to describe those feelings in words.
“Yes” he answered, “I guess you could say that, yeah…” and a sight stubbornly came out of his mouth before he finished “…Very much”
Shanna smiled again. “Oh my gosh, you really do. That’s so cute.”
And she continued to freak out about that, indignant that they were not together. And Chris continued to explain all of it, until they arrived at the Oscars.
As soon as his feet touched the red carpet the butterflies started to fill his stomach. He couldn’t help thinking about the moment he would see her. He was nervous and scared, but above all, he was very excited to see his friend again.
He had to bear with those feelings for quite a while, she didn’t arrive until 15 minutes before the ceremony started. Everyone was taking their seats and the room was crowded.
“I think we’re supposed to be over there” Chris said to his sister, pointing at their seats. And both started to walk down the stairs, towards the stage.
“Oh, there she is!” Shanna said. His heart raced, it must be her.
He turned to look at the same direction as his sister. Then finally, she was there, walking towards them. She didn’t see him at first, so he had a few moments to prepare himself. When she looked at his direction, he felt like his heart stopped. All the thoughts he has had for the past month came back at once. But they all went away went she looked at him and smiled, so genuinely that he couldn’t help but do the same. From that moment on, everything was back to normal, they hugged, and he introduced his sister. Scarlett had brought Joe Machoda, her agent, which Chris already knew. They didn’t have much time to talk, the ceremony was about to start, but the mood was light, and they had fun.
A few times, Chris caught himself staring at her, by his side, mostly when she was smiling. And a few times she would look back at him or rest her head on his shoulder. After they both presented their categories, Scarlett suggested the four of them left a little bit earlier and went out for some drinks instead. Shanna agreed, “Yeah, I never thought I’d say this at the Oscars but I’m a kinda over it”. They laughed. And so, they left.
It was only while deciding where to go that they realized all of them were staying at the same hotel. Scarlet was just a couple floors above. “Oh well, let’s just drink out the minibar, what do you say?” Chris suggested.
“PERFECT!” Scarlett said.
A few hours later and a couple beer bottles in, they were sitting on the floor of Scarlet’s room, laughing about the most random things.
“oh, man. That was a good one” Chris said, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye.
“So, Shanna” Scarlett asked. “How did you like the ceremony?”
Chris’s sister laughed right away “Man, I never realized it was so loooong. I guess I’ve never watched the whole thing to be honest”
“It’s alright, it’s better to just read all about it tomorrow” Scarlett replied. Chris laughed.
“Yeah, you’ve brought me twice. And I’ll just put it out there, I’m not sure I want you to invite me a third one” Joe said. Everyone laughed.
“Alright, one more?” Scarlett said, taking another beer out of the minibar. She was sitting next to it, therefore in charge of handing over the bottles.
“Yes, please” Chris said.
She handed it to Chris, who was sitting next to her. And opened the fridge again to grab another one. “Anyone else?”
“Oh, not for me, thanks” Joe replied. “In fact, I think I’ll get going. I got a flight to catch tomorrow morning”
“Aw, okay then.” Scarlett said. Joe stood up and the others followed him. “I hope to see you soon” she said, giving him a hug.
“Actually, I think that’s it for me too guys” Shanna said. “I’m not sure I can stay awake for much longer”
“Oh, okay” Chris said. He looked at Scarlett, a little embarrassed. He wasn’t sure what to do. He wanted to stay, of course, he didn’t have a chance to talk to her alone yet, but he wasn’t sure this was the best time. They weren’t exactly drunk, but those few bottles were enough to make him say things he wasn’t supposed to say. But he really wanted to.
“I think I’ll finish this” he said, referring to the beer bottle on his hand. “Is that okay?” he asked his sister.
“YES! Of course!” she replied, overreacting a little bit, and Chris could imagine exactly what she was thinking.
“Alright, see you soon”
They said goodbye and a few moments later, Chris and Scarlett found themselves alone again, in a hotel room. They sat back on the floor and laughed about a few more things before the conversation started changing its course. They started talking about their jobs, what they were planning to do next and what were they currently working on.

“I’m gonna be on broadway soon, did I tell you?”
“What, no, you didn’t. Oh my god that’s awesome!”
“Thanks, we’re just close to starting the rehearsals. I’m kinda nervous I’ll have to admit, but I’m excited.” He said nodding his head, reassuring himself.
“Oh c'mon, you’re perfect for Broadway, you’ll be great!”
“Aw, you’re sweet. Thank you.”

They went silent for a few moments, sipping on their beers, both not sure what to say next. But it wasn’t an awkward silence, in fact it was very relaxing, intimate in a way.

“Oh, I’m doing a movie with Jenny! Did she mentioned that?” And just like that, she made it awkward.

Chris had been dating Jenny Slate for a few months. He’d met her on the set of Gifted and he thought it would be nice to get to know her better, he liked the way she lighted the mood of every conversation and with time they developed quite a nice relationship. But that was before the events that followed the USO Tour. After that he felt extreme guilty every time he was with her, he almost told her everything a few times, but instead he just walked away, the guilt made him think about Scarlett everytime he was with Jenny, and he couldn’t really focus on giving her attention or simply being in that relationship, so that made him not want to be with her, and then she was in a movie with Scarlett which make things a million times worse. Eventually they had a conversation and decided it was best to take a break, indefinitely.

“Uh, yeah. She mentioned it quite a few times, yes.” He answered, hoping that would be enough to change subject.

“She said you two were not getting along that great great. Is everything alright now?” she asked.

Chris turned to look at her, with a confused look on his face. Did she really wanted to know how was his love life? After everything that happened?

“What?” She noticed the look

Oh my god, she really wants to know, he thought. That was definitely the last thing he wanted to talk about in that moment.

“God, do we have to do that?” He asked, his face was tired.

Scarlett was silent for a few moments as if trying to understand what she has done wrong.

“Umm, I’m sorry. I just…” she looked at him “I genuinely want to know”

He was outraged with her ability to ignore her feelings and the fact that a few months ago they were having amazing sex and talking about how much they loved each other.

“Alright, well then genuinely I can tell you that no, things are not great between us” he tried to remain as calm as he could but the beers were starting to speak “in fact we’re not together anymore”

“Oh, no. I’m so sorry Chris I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I knew, I’m sorry” she apologized and the frustration inside him started growing fast.

“Uh, that’s not the reason I didn’t wanna talk about it Scarlett, it’s fine, really.” he replied

She still looked confused and he started think she either had had an amnesia or was trying really hard to ignore everything that could lead to a talk about their last encounter.

“Okay… well, anyway I’m sorry to hear that, she’s so nice”

“Yeah, right” he didn’t really meant to say that but it just came out and immediately she looked at him and one of her eyebrows just shot upwards and he knew he was in trouble.

“Uh, excuse me” she just sat there looking straight into his eyes, and he knew she was waiting for an apology.

He shook his head in regret.

“I’m sorry, I’m just…” he wanted to stop there but something words just kept coming out of his mouth. “I’m amazed at your ability ignore things that have happened and everything that you feel… I wish I had that talent, really” he shouldn’t have had that last bottle.

“What, so I can’t feel sorry for you, or hope that you find someone that will make you happy?” She turned to face him with her whole body, still sitting on the floor, and he did the same.

“No, I think it’s amazing that you do that Scarlett. Only that person doesn’t exist. Or actually she does, but she has such strong beliefs that she refuses to be with me and there’s absolutely nothing I can do about that so.. yeah I think there’s really no point in what your doing”

When he finished they sat there looking at each other for a few long moments, until she broke eye contact. He could tell she was trying to find the word to say something but a sudden fear came to him, maybe the alcohol was starting to wear off or he was just really scared of what she had to say. But whatever it was, he just wanted runaway as fast as he could.

“Well, this is done” he said, shaking his empty beer bottle and standing up. “It think I better get going”

He grabbed his coat and started making his way to the door. Turning around midway to take one last look at her and say “Good night, Scarlett” he hope the tone of apology in his voice would let her know that he didn’t really meant to say all that but that he wasn’t exactly lying either.

And just as he was reaching for the door knob he heard her standing up from the ground.

“Chris, wait”