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Dumbass p5 Groupchat shit because I'm Unoriginal™

Chapter Text

May 17th 2017

3:23 pm

 Phantom Chat


Joker: Mishima told me that someone wanted to talk to us, specifically about a heart they want us to change.

Panther: really? who is it?

Joker: That’s the funny thing. You remember that guy’s heart we changed, Nakanohara?

Skull: u mean the stalker?

Joker: That’s the guy.

Panther: do you remember how in mementos, nakanorhara’s shadow mentioned madarame? do you think it has something to do with madarame?

Joker: It’s possible. Nakanohara was the first person we heard to mention Madarame.

Skull: wait. mishima told u that this guy wants to talk with us?

Joker: Yeah.

Panther: did mishima tell him that we’re phantom thieves?!

Joker: No. Don’t worry, our identities are safe. Mishima just said that he had connections, or something along those lines, and that Nakanohara should meet us at Shibuya station tomorrow after school.

Panther: hey, can we talk about what happened today with kitagawa-kun?

Skull: yeah. the dude flipped out and wants you to get naked so he can paint u. or so he says anyway.

Panther: shut it!

Panther: okay but do you guys think i actually have to be his nude model? like, i won’t have to be his nude model in order to change madarame’s heart, right?

Skull: prolly not

Joker: No. At least you shouldn’t have to.

Joker: But...can I confess something?

Skull: shoot

Panther: Go for it.

Joker: Yusuke may have freaked out a bit, but...he’s kind of hot.

Panther: AKIRA

Skull: dude..

Joker: I’m just saying. He looked so focused while sketching Ann, and his hair just looks so soft..

Joker: He may be….eccentric, but he is hella attractive.


 May 17th 2017

3:25 pm


Morgana hit Akira with his tail. “Really?”

Akira shrugged. He had actually forgotten that Morgana was reading over his shoulder. “I’m just saying. That whole experience may have ended badly for us, but he is incredibly hot.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. I mean why would you write that in the official Phantom Thieves group chat?” Morgana shook his head, which actually looked kind of weird given that he’s a cat.

Akira shrugged. “Ryuji and Ann aren’t currently here right now, so I can’t say it in person. Besides, we only have one group chat.”

“That group chat is supposed to be for official phantom thief business, not for you to talk about your gay crush on Madarame’s pupil.”

“Okay, first of all, it’s not a crush. I’m merely admiring his beauty.” Morgana rolled his eyes in response. “What are you suggesting, anyway?”

Mona looked at Akira with the same look a disappointed mother would give to her child. “I’m saying that you should make a separate group chat for you to discuss things unrelated to the Phantom Thieves.” He gave the leader a minute to process this.

“Yeah. Okay. That’s a good idea. Thanks, Mona. You’re incredible.”

“I know. But let’s not do that today. You should go to sleep.”


May 18th, 2017

6:28 am


~ Akira Kurusu   has added Ann Takamaki   to the chat~

~ Akira Kurusu  has added Ryuji Sakamoto   to the chat~

Akira Kurusu has changed his name to Joker ~

Joker has changed Ann Takamaki's name to Panther ~

Joker has changed Ryuji Sakamoto's name to Skull ~ 

~ Joker has renamed the chat to Meme Team ~

Joker: There we go.

Panther: akira?? what’s this?

Joker: Mona was annoyed that we weren’t actually taking the Phantom Chat seriously, so he suggested we make a separate chat.

Joker: A chat dedicated entirely to memes and gay thoughts.

Joker: Okay he didn’t say it like that but the implication was there.

Panther: i mean, i guess that makes sense. thanks mona.

Panther: this is going to go very downhill, very fast.

Joker: You’re right, but it should be fun.


Chapter Text

May 19 2017

4:02 pm


Meme Team


Panther: i just want it to be known that i am not happy with this plan

Skull: sorry ann but its the only way

Panther: you’re so not sorry

Joker: Ann, we appreciate you and your sacrifice.

Panther: stop making it sound like i’m going to die!!!

Joker: Thank you for taking one for the team.

Panther: why do i have to be the nude model?! why dont one of you do it??

Skull: yusuke said he wanted you as his model

Skull: dont worry, mona will be with you. and besides u dont really have to get naked. probably.

Panther: “probably”?!

Panther: ughh!! akira, you said you think hes hot! why dont you strip for him?!

Joker: Gladly.

Skull: dude..

Skull: akira.

Skull: chill.

Skull: that is really gay.

Joker: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Panther: see? he’s actually willing

Joker: I hate to be the barer of bad news, but if I tried he’d probably call the cops on us. I would gladly take your place. But besides, you want to be an actor. You can do it. I’m needed elsewhere.

Joker: (But seriously. I’d be down to take your place.)

Panther: ugh… thanks akira.

Skull: we believe in you panther.

Panther: sigh… thanks, skull.

Panther: but seriously, why me?!

Joker:  Good luck, Ann.

Skull: we’re rootin for ya.

Panther: okay, i’m in shibuya now. you guys should probably head into the palace.

Joker: Talk to you in a bit.

Skull: later ann

Joker: You got this.

Panther: ugh..


May 19 2017

7:32 pm


Meme Team


Joker: So.

Joker: That worked out well.

Joker: I think.

Panther: speak for yourself. i almost had to get naked for this.

Joker: Thank you, Ann. Your deed has not gone unnoticed. We appreciate your efforts.

Joker: (Although your acting could use a bit of work..)

Panther: shut up!

Skull: so does this mean yusuke is one of us now?

Panther: i..think? he’s one of us for this mission at the very least.

Joker: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Skull: ok but serious question

Skull: is yusuke a furry?


Panther: ryuji!!

Skull: did you see his tail?? hes gotta be a furry!

Joker: I mean… he isn’t wrong.

Joker: Your metaverse outfit is a direct result of your cognition.

Joker: ...Is he a furry…?

Panther: ...i…

Panther: ...i don’t know how to respond to this?

Skull: do u think his tail wags?

Skull: like i know its fake but i could have swore i saw it move

Panther: is that even possible?

Panther: it was probably just the way he was moving. you know, physics, or something like that…

Panther: does my tail wag?

Skull: i mean,,,maybe?

Joker: I asked Morgana and he’s just as confused as the rest of us. He said something about cognition, I think.

Joker: But...I actually have no idea if it wags or not. That’s...really weird.

Joker: that even possible?

Joker: Wait, Ryuji. Why were you looking at his tail?

Skull: i wasnt tryin to! i just noticed it movin out of the corner of my eyes!

Joker: Sounds fake but okay.

Skull: im serious

Panther   surejan.jpg

Joker: aqkdhslkhfsdkljzlijlksdfjkl’

Skull: i came out here to have a good time and i honestly feel so attacked right now.



May 21st 2017

6:18 pm


Meme Team


Skull: listen. i know we’re doin this to help ppl and shit.

Skull: but madarame’s palace can suck my fucking dick jfc i am so over this

Skull: even that piece of shit kamoshida’s palace wasnt this fucking bad. it was really long and irritating, but at least he didnt have fucking infrared lasers everywhere

Skull: we didnt have to alter his cognition in reality to get a door to open either.

Skull: this entire palace is annoying as all hell and it can eat my entire ass

Joker: kinky ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Skull: stop

Joker: ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

Skull: adding more doesnt make it better

Joker: (͡ ͡° ͜ つ ͡͡°)

Skull: changing the nose just makes it creepier

Joker: /╲/\╭( ͡° ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ͡°)╮/\╱\

Skull: jfc what even is that?! it looks like a mutated spider or some shit

Joker: (° ͡ ͜ ͡ʖ ͡ °)

Skull: akira what the hell

Joker: Okay that’s all I got. Unfortunately.

Joker: Wait.

Joker: (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

Joker: Now that’s all I got.

Skull: what the fuck dude

Joker: I found a list of the some of the weirdest fucking lenny faces ever and I had to use it.


Skull: jfc why

Joker:  (° ͜ʖ ͡ -)

Skull: is it winkin or being poked in the eye wtf

Joker: ( ͡°⊖ ͡°)

Skull: peep and the big wide world lookin ass

Skull: chirp-lookinass.jpg

Joker: ...Holy shit you’re right.

Joker: The resemblance is almost uncanny.

Skull: ikr?

Joker: There’s still more.

Skull: dammit

Joker: ( ͡°° ͜ʖ ͡°°)

Skull: adding more eyes just makes it look like a fucking spider

Joker: ( ͡°❥ ͡°)

Skull: once again, it looks like peep and the big wide world

Joker: ( ͡°ω ͡°)

Skull: kill it.

Skull: kill it with fire.

Joker: ( ͡°⊱ ͡°)

Skull: that isnt any better wtf

Skull: where are you finding this shit?!

Joker: ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

Skull: woke af

Joker: ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ)

Skull: i take it back. this guy is woke af.

Joker: ( ͜。 ͡ʖ ͜。)

Skull: why tf is it upside down?

Joker: Why not.

Joker: Just let him do his thing, Ryuji. Just let him do his thing.

Skull: ….

Joker: ( ͡° ͜V ͡°)

Skull: why do all of these look like peep and the big wide world characters?!

Joker: Why do you know so much about Peep and the Big Wide World?!

Skull: me and ann got bored one day and they had a 24 hour livestream of peep so we watched it.

Joker: Um excuse me, why was I not invited to this peep marathon?!

Skull: we would have invited you except u were at work

Skull: sorry bud. u missed out.

Joker: That is Rude.

Skull: having to work or not being invited to peep?

Joker: Missing Peep because I had to work.

Panther: okay wtf did i just walk in on?

Panther: also that was a great peep marathon.

Skull: quack is my spirit animal

Panther: honestly i prefer chirp.

Joker: Excuse you but don’t forget about Beaver boy.

Joker: Okay but back to the original topic, Madarame’s palace is really annoying. That one room of just lasers? Kill yourself.

Panther: that room was annoying as all hell.

Skull: the jumping in the painting thing was also annoying. like dude, how paranoid can you get?

Joker: We’ve secured the route to his treasure. It’s almost done you guys. We just need to send the calling card and steal the treasure. Everyone know your roles?

Skull: yup. Decoy

Panther: yeah. im in charge of shutting off the power.

Joker: Awesome. We got this, you guys. Soon enough Madarame will be just another washed up celebrity.

Joker: Alright, well I gotta go. I’m working at the beef bowl shop tonight and I can’t text while working.

Skull: see ya leader

Panther: bye

Panther: i actually have to go too. i only popped in for a minute. im at a photoshoot right now so ill talk to you later.

Skull: later ann

Panther: see ya <3

Chapter Text

May 22nd 2017

7:39 pm


Meme Team


~ Joker has added Yusuke Kitagawa to the chat~

~ Joker has changed Yusuke Kitagawa ’s name to Fox ~

Joker: Welcome to the discourse.

Joker: You’re officially one of us.

Fox: What is this…?

Joker: It’s a groupchat. Kind of like the official Phantom Chat™ except..not.

Fox: I am aware of the fact that this is a group chat. I mean… why. We already have one group chat?

Joker: Long story short we were using the original phantom chat for non phantom thief shit. Mona got annoyed and thus, this was born. It’s usage is purely for non phantom thief shit.

Fox: I see…

Skull: u missed our peep and the big wide world discussion. akira was offended that he didnt get to watch peep w me and ann

Fox: I am not aware of what that is.

Fox: What is “Peep and the Big Wide World”?

Joker: Gasp

Skull: it’s a kids show dude

Skull: about two birds and a duck who just...explore the world i guess.

Skull: the main character peep is kinda lame but as far as kids shows go it gr8

Joker: Get out of here with your 2016 memes

Skull: square up m8

Joker: I will fight you.

Skull: behind the ramen shop

Skull: friday at 3pm exactly.

Joker: You’re on.

Panther: don’t worry, this is normal for them.

Fox: Right…

Skull: oh hey i have a question for ya yusuke

Fox: What is it?

Skull: are u a furry?

Panther: RYUJI

Panther: you can’t just straight up ask him like that!!!

Skull: and why not?

Panther: it just seems rude!

Fox: What is a “furry”?




Skull: u good dude?


Panther: akira??




Fox: Did I say something wrong?


Joker: There is a god. I have seen him.

Fox: What?

Joker: My depression is cured, my skin is clear.

Panther: that’s a little extra..

Joker: My crops have been watered, life is worth living.

Skull: dude…

Joker: Yusuke doesn’t know what a furry is.

Panther: akira, oh my god.

Fox: Does anyone care to explain what exactly a “furry” is?

Joker: Don’t worry about it bby just keep painting.

Fox: Well okay then.

Panther: akira that is very gay and very extra

Joker: Two things which I very much am.

Joker: Actually, that’s a lie.

Joker: I am very bi and very extra.

Panther: hey same

Joker: B)


May 23rd, 2017

9:27 pm

Meme Team


Skull: ok can we talk about that madarame fight

Skull: yusuke no offense but that sucked and i am so glad that we kicked his ass

Fox: None taken.

Fox: I actually quite agree with you.

Panther: how are you holding up, yusuke??

Fox: I’m fine, thank you.

Joker: Okay but can we talk about something Madarame said?

Skull: what?? the dude with the black mask??

Joker: No, not that, although that kind of concerns me.

Joker: When he was transforming into that fuckin’,,,rejected picasso bullshit

Panther: “rejected picasso bullshit”

Skull: r e j e c t e d p i c a s s o b u l l s h i t

Fox: Same.

~ Joker has changed the chat name to Rejected Picasso Bullshit ~

Joker: Anyway

Joker: He said, and I quote, “I’ll paint all over you.”

Panther: yeah?? and??

Joker: Was that a euphemism for something?


Panther: AKIRA

Joker: I’m just saying.

Joker: “Paint all over you” bitch with what. You are literally a floating ass collage of orifices. Are you going to spit on us or some shit?

Fox: ...I have nothing to say to this.

Joker: Just think about it, Yusuke.

Fox: ...I’d rather not.

Panther: akira go to bed

Joker: Jfc you sound like Morgana.

Joker: ...He just hit me. Thanks, Mona.

Skull: i mean,,,theyre both cats so…

Panther: stop right there.

Skull: just think about it ann

Panther: no.

Skull: wait

Skull: ann

Skull: are you a furry?

Panther: NO

Panther: also aren’t furries typically portrayed as wolves and foxes?

Panther: i’m not a dog

Joker: Isn’t that called a neko?

Joker: Or like, cat-girls or some shit?

Joker: Ann looks like she could be straight out of neko para.

Panther: AKIRA WTF

Joker: I mean,,,she kind of looks like Coconut.

Joker: Actually, scratch that. She looks more like Vanilla.

Skull: dude

Joker: What?

Skull: how do u know so much abt neko para?

Joker: ...Don’t worry about it.

Skull: akira

Joker: No.

Skull: u got urself into this situation

Joker: I refuse

Skull: answer the question furry

Joker: I plead the fifth.

Fox: And yet I still don’t know what a furry is…

Joker: Don’t worry about it babe.

Panther: Akira.

Joker: I mean don’t worry about it Yusuke.

Skull: yusuke is that really all you got from that conversation?

Joker: Honestly I’m not surprised.


Chapter Text

June 5th, 2017

3:32 pm


Rejected Picasso Bullshit


Joker: Okay can someone please tell miss prez to fuck off. You seem nice enough, Makoto, but I don’t appreciate being stalked in the hallway.

Joker: She’s backing the wrong side.

Skull: she’s still followin u?

Skull: damn she pisses me off

Joker: I wouldn’t go that far with it. Yeah, it’s annoying to walk to the bathroom only to see the student council president following me down the hall like something out of a horror movie.

Joker: You’re not going to find anything, Makoto. I’m not constructing an atomic bomb in the bathroom, I just need to pee.

Skull: thot begone

Panther: maybe, but i don’t like her. i can’t believe i’m saying this but i think i agree with ryuji here

Skull:  exactly

Skull: wait what do you mean by that?!

Fox: I’m sorry, but who is Makoto?

Joker: She’s the student council president at Shujin. Ever since the Kamoshida case she’s been following me around. She expects that I’m a Phantom Thief (she’s right) but she has no proof so she’s trying to get some dirt on me. Ever since Madarame she’s really been cracking down.

Fox: That’s inconvenient..

Joker: It really is.

Joker: In other news, school is absolutely screwing me right now.

Skull: same

Panther: same

Fox: Same.

Joker: No, you don’t understand.

Joker: Someone please explain to me how I’m in the top of my class because I don’t get it.

Joker: School is fucking me over big time. Bent over the bed, face down, pinned to the mattress.

Joker: Fucking ramming into me doggystyle. That’s how much school is fucking me over right now.

Joker: When is summer vacation again?

Fox: That was quite the description.

Skull: dude

Skull: sometimes i forget just how gay you really are

Skull: and then you go and say shit like that

Joker: Sometimes I forget at how gay I really am, and then I talk to this group chat.

Panther: honestly i relate

Joker: Speaking of gay…

Panther: oh no

Joker: Ann, how’s Shiho?

Panther: really pretty and nice and kind and strong and so out of my league

Skull: i just rolled my eyes really hard

Panther: oh like you’re any different

Panther: you couldn’t get a girl

Skull: excuse me but yes i can

Panther: can you though??

Skull: hey akira you want to go out?

Joker: Sorry, can’t. I’m holding out for someone else.

Panther: point taken

Panther: also akira isn't a girl

Joker: Ann, seriously though. Just ask her out.

Panther: bitch no

Joker: bitch yes

Panther: Ujksdnk,mvnvkl

Joker: Keyboard smashing isn’t going to get you out of this.

Panther: UGH

Joker: Just ask her out. What’s the worst that could happen? She says no?

Panther: She says no, things get awkward, she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore, I lose my best friend and the girl I have fallen for!!!

Skull: ann that aint gonna happen

Fox: Ann, if you truly love this girl, then you should take the chance. You don’t want to let this opportunity slip away. If you do, you’re going to regret it.

Skull: holy hell that was poetic

Panther: i know and i want to ask her out but i just get so nervous and anxious every time i try. i keep thinking about the worst case scenario and how it could go horribly horribly wrong. shiho was there for me when i needed someone to be there for me. she’s one of the very few constants in my life and i don’t ever want to lose that. if i do this, there’s the chance i’m going to lose her. i would rather be stuck being forever in love with her but as her best friend than not having her in my life at all.

Fox: If she truly means this much to you, and if you mean this much to her, you’re not going to lose her.

Joker: Ann, Shiho loves you just as much as you love her. Just go for it.

Panther: ...fine. i’ll do it.

Skull: this is really gay

Panther: this chat is really gay

Skull: shit u rite


June 7th, 2017

5:37 pm

Rejected Picasso Bullshit


Panther: ok you fucks i did it

Joker: Did what?

Panther: i asked out shiho

Skull: and????

Joker: Give details, you shit.

Panther: ok children sit down and buckle up because momma’s telling a story

Joker: Please don’t refer to yourself as “momma” ever again.

Skull: uhh?????

Joker: Ann, are you into that?

Panther: NO


Skull: then do it

Joker: Tell the story already.

Panther: ok, so this morning i texted shiho asking if she wanted to hang out after school. you know, get crepes and go for a walk in the park, that kind of thing. she agreed and we met in front of the crepe shop in shibuya after school. we got crepes and then went to inokashira park and she was looking beautiful as always

Panther: we talked for a bit and then finally i asked her out and get this

Panther: she looked at me, raised her eyebrow and said “aren’t we already on a date??”

Skull: holy shit

Panther: i know right???

Panther: so long story short shiho is now my girlfriend and we’re going to destinyland this weekend

Panther: so you fuckers better not call us to go on an expedition in mementos, because i’m not going to show up

Joker: Just for that, I’m going to make sure we go into Mementos this weekend.

Panther: akira if you do that i will hit you in the shin with a razor scooter

Joker: Please no.

Panther: we’re not going into Mementos this weekend.

Joker: Yes ma’am.

Fox: Congratulations, Ann.

Panther: ty!!

Panther: i’m super happy right now. my face hurts from how much i’m smiling

Joker: Ann that’s gay

Panther: you’re gay

Joker: yourite.gif


June 10th 2017

4:27 pm


Meme Team


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to AKECHI FUCK OFF ~

Joker: I will admit, his hair looks soft and he is rather pretty, but he needs to ROYALLY FUCK OFF

Panther: he’s really not that attractive..

Panther: maybe if he got a decent hair cut he would look better. you know, NOT A MULLET

Panther: what is this, the 80s???? seriously his hair is disgusting

Fox: I agree. His hair really ruins the aesthetic.

Joker: You heard the man.

Joker: Art ho has spoken.

Fox: “Art ho”??

Joker: Don worry about it bb

Fox: Okay..?

Skull: akechi can choke on a dick

Joker: That’s how I want to go out.

Joker: Choking on a nice long dick mmmMmm

Skull: dude wtf

Panther: AKIRA WHY

Fox: That doesn’t seem like the ideal way to go out.

Joker: Why? I have a dick in my mouth and I get to die. Seems like a win-win situation here.

Fox: Wouldn’t you want to wait until after? Choking tends to be a rather long and semi-painful way to go out. Having the oxygen flow cut off tends to make you pass out before it actually kills you, and it seems like it would take way too long and would be too painful.

Fox: I’d rather die after all is said and done.

Joker:...shit you right.

Joker: Change of plans. I’ll suck the guy off then I’ll kill myself.

Joker: I’ll probably just stab myself afterwards. If I stab myself in the heart then it’ll be a fast death.

Panther: wtf did i just read

Skull: i dont know how to feel about this

Joker: Anyways, yeah. Akechi sucks ass and needs a haircut.


Chapter Text

June 11th 2017

12:30 am


Akira Kurusu → Ann Takamaki


AK: Ann.

AK: Ann, we have a problem.

AT: and that is..?

AK: Yusuke is really pretty.

AK: I mean really pretty.

AT: akira i swear

AT: i already know you think he’s pretty

AT: we all think he’s pretty

AT: he’s a pretty boy

AK: His hair looks really soft.

AK: Do you think he dyes it?

AT: what?

AK: The Sayuri was painted by his mom, right? It was a self portrait? So I think it’s safe to assume that the baby is supposed to be Yusuke right?

AT: yeah..?

AK: Ann.

AK: The baby has black hair.

AK: I think his hair might be naturally black.

AT: his hair could have changed color as he got older?? when i was little my hair was more of a dirty, brown-blonde and now it’s,,,blonde.

AK: Ann. How many people do you know who have naturally blue hair.

AT: ok, so ask him if he dyes it

AK: Ann, no. That will come off as weird and maybe kind of rude.

AT: then don’t ask him.

AK: How much hair dye do you think it takes to dye it?

AK: Does he have to bleach it before hand?

AK: How often does he dye his hair? Does he dye it at all?

AT: i don’t know!! why are you telling me all of this??

AK: I can’t talk to Ryuji about this because he won’t understand, and he might be slightly creeped out if I start ranting to him about how pretty Yusuke is, I can’t talk to Yusuke for obvious reasons, and Morgana is getting tired of listening to me talk about him.

AT: so me..

AK: If it makes you feel better, out of all of us you’re probably the best in this kind of thing.

AT: thanks

AT: i think

AK: Anyways, that’s about it. Morgana is yelling at me to go to bed.

AT: well ok then

AT: why are you awake at this time anyways?

AK: I was helping out a politician and Shibuya and got home pretty late.

AK: The better question is why are you awake?

AT: i was doing homework.

AK: Understandable, have a nice day.

AK: Okay I really gotta go now. Morgana is threatening to take my phone away. He won’t even let me check on my plant, which is really dumb.

AT: what the hell??

AK: Well anyways, goodnight.

AT: goodnight


June 11th 2017

11:48 am




Panther: hey we’re still meeting in shibuya today, right??? at the station square?

Skull: yup. i just got to the train station

Joker: I’m about to leave. Where are you guys?

Fox: I’m leaving now. Hopefully I’ll be there soon.

Panther: ok, cool. i just got off the train so i’ll see you guys soon!


June 11th 2017

10:24 pm


Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu


AT: so

AK: So??

AT: what’s it like having yusuke as a roommate?

AK: Honestly this sounds like something straight out of a porno.

AT: normally i would yell at you but honestly you’re right

AK: Do you think I can get him to suck my dick??

AT: ok that’s where i draw the line.

AK: Will he let me suck his dick?? Because I’m down.

AT: please stop

AK: If we start making out I’ll let you know.

AT: i stg you’re so gay

AT: oh hey, question

AT: you don’t have to answer if you don’t want. i’m just curious.

AK: Okay.

AT: do you actually have a crush on yusuke or???

AK: I don’t think so?

AK: Don’t get me wrong, he’s really pretty and I care about him a lot, and if I’m being totally honest here if he wanted a fuck buddy or something I’d be down, but I don’t think it’s really a crush? I think it’s more of that he is very visually appealing and I can see myself being attracted to him, but I’m just not really that interested.

AK: I guess it’s kind of more “lust” than anything. I haven’t really thought too much about it.

AT: oh ok. that makes sense. i was just kind of wondering.

AK: Okay, cool.


June 13th 2017

3:32 pm


Akira shouldered his bag as the bell rang, signalling the end of the school day. The Phantom Thieves were planning on meeting at the hideout at the underground walkway in Shibuya today, to discuss where to go from there. Madarame had confessed to all of his crimes and they needed a new target. As far as Akira knew, they were going to bounce ideas off of each other, maybe explore Mementos a bit, maybe do a little research on potential targets.

“We should go directly to the hideout from here.” Morgana said from inside Akira’s bag.

Akira nodded in agreement. He started towards the door of his classroom, only to be stopped by Kawakami.

Morgana ducked back into the bag as soon as she approached. “Kurusu, Niijima-san wants to see you in the student council room.” Kawakami said, exasperated.

Akira felt Morgana tense from inside the bag. “What does she want?” He cautiously asked. Makoto had been stalking Akira since the Kamoshida case, and it had only gotten worse since Madarame. She hadn’t been able to dig up anything on him yet, what did she want?

Kawakami shook her head. “She didn’t say. Just go see her.” On that note, she stalked off, muttering something along the lines of “why me?” and “why am I doing tasks for a student?” as well as “I know she’s the principal’s favorite, but still..”

Morgana poked his head out and sighed. “Better go see what she wants?”

“Can’t we just, I don’t know, ignore her and sneak out?” Akira asked. He really didn’t want to deal with her shit today. “That seems much easier than actually confronting her.”

The cat lightly batted at Akira’s head with his paw. “Listen, I don’t want to do this any more than you do, but we can’t avoid her forever. It’s best just to face it now. Putting it off is only going to make it worse. Besides, you can’t run from your problems.”

Akira made a finger gun at him, which probably looked weird to the passing students. “That’s where you’re wrong. I can and will continue to run from my problems. I’ll run so far that they can’t catch me anymore?”

“You mean like your gay thoughts? I don’t think so.”

“Touche, Morgana. Touche.”

“Come on. Let’s go see what she wants.”


June 13th 2017

3:34 pm


“Earlier than expected.”

Makoto sat in front of a table with her hands clasped together and her ankles crossed. She looked up as soon as the door opened. “Thank you for coming. Please, have a seat.” She indicated the seat in front of her.

Not like I had a choice. Akira thought. He shut the door behind him and sat in the seat adjacent to Makoto.

“I’ll get straight to the point,” She said. Something gleamed in her bright red eyes, as if she knew something he didn’t. Judging from what he had seen from her so far, she probably did. Why else would he have been called up here? “Mister Kamoshida and Madarame. Won’t you tell me the truth behind the Phantom Thieves’ incidents?”

Of course that was why she had called him here. Akira set his bag down on the seat next to him and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He said nothing in response.

Makoto took that as a sign to keep going. “Can’t answer that? Ah, of course. There’s no way you would admit to such things.”

Admit to?

“Makoto, what are you going on about? I don’t know anything about either of those cases.” He responded cooly. The lies slipped off his tongue naturally, in the same way someone was able to breathe.

Her expression was unreadable. “Have a listen.” She stated. She produced her phone from the waistband of her skirt and set it on the table, pressing play.

Immediately, a familiar voice came through the speakers of her phone, loud and clear. “ If someone else could help ‘em, we wouldn’t be doin’ stuff as the Phantom Thieves to start with!”

Ryuji … Akira thought. He mentally. Next time he saw Ryuji, he was going to kick his ass.

“So you think it’s true…? We’ll be okay if we keep doing this, right…?” Another voice. This one more high pitched and feminine. Ann’s voice.

Makoto tapped her long, blue-painted fingernails on the table. “What does all of this mean?”

It wasn’t a question, but a statement. Akira wanted to repeatedly bang his head on the table until he forgot his own name.

“We screwed up!” Morgana stage-whispered. He was right. They really did screw up this time.

Makoto continued on. “Was it blackmail? Hypnosis? How do you corner someone into making them confess?” Her voice was harder, more stern. Like ice. Her eyebrows pushed together and her face morphed into an expression that portrayed pure anger. Her red eyes shown with rage.

“Won’t you tell me how you did it?”

Akira racked his head for any reasonable response. Anything, anything at all! Anything to get him out of this situation scot-free! Was there a way?

“Ask the culprits.” He replied. Shit. Was he throwing Ryuji and Ann under the bus? Maybe. However, if he remembered clearly, which he did, she had taken pictures of them when they were having that conversation. She had photographic evidence that he was there and involved with the conversation they had in the courtyard.

Makoto chuckled without humor. “You want to say that this doesn’t prove anything, don’t you.” Once again, not a question but a statement. And once again, she was right. He truly did want to say that she had no evidence and her recording was fake. “Now, what would the police think if they heard my recording?”

Oh fuck. The thought of repeatedly ramming through his heart with his metaverse knife was starting to sound much more appealing to Akira with each and every second that ticked by.

“It’d be bad if we’re put under police surveillance.” Morgana hissed. “There’s no telling what will happen to you, too!”

Makoto brushed her hair behind her ear with ease. “If you confess the truth, I don’t mind just leaving this between the two of us. You’ll tell me, won’t you?”

Fat chance. He wouldn’t sell out his teammates in a million years. They were his friends and his allies. He would never betray them like that. Well, then again, they kind of just sold out themselves. “I have a right to remain silent.” Akira said. His heart thumped against his ribcage. Part of him was tempted to yell the words “PLEAD THE FIFTH” and bolt out of the school, screeching like a banshee the entire way. That probably wasn’t the best option, but it was still an option nonetheless.

Makoto’s mouth turned into a hard frown. “That’s the same as admitting to it, you know.” She did have a point.

At that exact moment, as if on cue, Akira’s phone rang. Makoto signalled for him to pick it up. “Go ahead.”

Making eye contact with her the entire time, Akira answered his phone. It was Ryuji...what perfect timing.

“Hey, where you at? Takin’ a leak? Let’s meet up at the usual spot to hold our Phantom Thieves meetin’!” He practically yelled. Akira prayed that Makoto wasn’t able to hear.

Apparently God really hated him, however, because that was not the case. She was able to hear everything Ryuji said clear as day. “As loud as always… But his timing is perfect. I’d like everyone else to hear this as well. Won’t you take me to your friends?”

Fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCK.

He didn’t have a choice. Admitting his defeat, he nodded slowly and stood up. He could only hope for the best.


June 13th 2017

3:43 pm



“Hmm? He here?”

“Is that girl a friend of yours?”

The voices of Akira’s friends became clearer with each step. He dreaded the moment his teammates--no, his friends-- found out that they were discovered. Found out that someone had figured them out, and that there was a very high chance they could be put in jail. Part of him wanted to turn and run.

No, he couldn’t do that. He was the leader and he had to protect his team. They were in too deep. They were in it together.

Looks of horror and astonishment dawned on both Ann and Ryuji’s faces as they saw Makoto.

Yusuke, on the other hand, had sort of a child-like wonder to his expression. Large, dark eyes opened curiously, pure innocence radiating off of his being. Just his expression made Akira feel worse about the situation.

“Wha-What the hell?!” Ryuji stammered.

Ann made a deep, throaty noise, like a growl. “What’s the meaning of this?”

Akira sighed. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Makoto. “I had him lead me here.” She scanned everyone’s faces, as if attempting to memorize every detail. She announced their names one by one. “Ryuji Sakamoto, Ann Takamaki…” She stopped on Yusuke. “And you’re Kitagawa-kun, correct? Second year at Kosei High and former pupil of Madarame?”

Yusuke leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, saying nothing.

Makoto continued on. “I wanted to ask you all about this.” Once again, she removed her phone from the waistband of her skirt and pressed play. Her audio recording started up once again.

The reactions from everyone made Akira’s stomach sink. Ann looked like she was about to throw up, she was so taken aback. Flashes of guilt and anger made their way across both hers and Ryuji’s faces.

Yusuke was a bit harder to read. He was, for the most part, very laid back and relaxed, almost too relaxed. However, when he talked about art… To put it bluntly, he either had no chill or too much chill. There was no in between with him. On the other hand, in this case, Akira was able to make out the bit of frustration welling up inside him. Akira couldn’t blame him, he was frustrated too. Frustrated and guilty and just upset about the entire situation.

As soon as the audio recording ended, Makoto spoke again. “An extremely similar technique was used for both Kamoshida and Madarame, while those affected by their acts were just coincidentally meeting up.” She shook her head. “How could that not raise suspicions?”

The Phantom Thieves looked back and forth from one another, trying to decide what to do or say. Eventually, Yusuke spoke up. Sighing, he said “What do you intend to do? Have you come just to say you’re going to report us?” He sounded tired, exhausted. He sounded exactly how Akira felt.

Ann stepped in once more. “I bet someone told you to find us. The school can’t have ties to criminals, after all.” Venom soak her tone, dripping from each and every syllable. “And yet they turn a blind eye when it comes to suicide and sexual harassment. Those adults are just using you. I feel sorry for you.”

Makoto made a noise, like air slipping through her teeth. “...I...I know..”

Ann widened her eyes in surprise. “Huh?”

“That’s why I would like to verify the justice you speak of.” The student council president’s hands closed into fists at her sides. “I’m the only one who knows about you. If you prove what you’re doing is just, I’ll erase this.” She inhaled slowly and then continued. “There is someone whose heart I’d like you to chance.”

Yusuke uncrossed his arms and effortlessly raised a dark eyebrow. “Who?”

“Hmm, so you’re not saying it’s impossible,” the girl deducted. “However…” And there it was. There was always a catch. “I cannot tell you that just yet. Let’s continue our talk after school tomorrow, on the roof… Assuming you accept my offer, that is.” With that statement, she gave one last look at everyone and marched off, leaving them only to dwell on what had just gone down.


June 13th 2017

5:09 pm




Joker: So

Panther: so..

Skull: so

Fox: So.

Joker: What have we learned from this experience.

Joker: Yes Ryuji, yes Ann, this is in fact directed at you. Yusuke, you’re fine but you should listen anyway.

Fox: I’m afraid I cannot do that. This is a text conversation so it would be impossible to listen.

Skull: not if u have text to speech enabled

Fox: Touche.

Joker: Guys. Getting distracted. Let your leader discipline you fucks.

Skull: i was going to make a joke but somehow i dont think it will be appreciayted at this time

Joker: You’re right, it won’t be appreciated at this time.

Skull: shit hes pissed

Panther: i’m really sorry akira

Panther: not just to akira, but to all of you. i’m so sorry and never meant to put us in danger.

Joker: I know that you’re sorry, but the damage has been done.

Joker: What do you have to say for yourself, Ryuji.

Skull: whyre u singling me out?!

Joker: Because you’re the one who stated that we were phantom thieves.

Joker: You said, quote “If someone else could help them we wouldn’t be doing stuff as the phantom thieves to start with!”

Skull: aight aight im sorry ok

Fox: You acted recklessly and because of that we were found out.

Skull: yeah yeah

Skull: look im sorry ok

Joker: Guys. The damage is done. All we can do at this point is wait and see what Makoto wants from us.

Panther: yeah..

Panther: she wants us to change the heart of a mafia boss??

Fox: We’re going to need a name in order to do that.

Joker: I guess we’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out more.


Chapter Text

June 14th 2017

3:51 pm




Joker: Alright, let’s recap what just happened.

Joker: You know, for Yusuke’s sake.

Fox: Thank you.

Fox: Even though we did go over it in the main Phantom chatroom..

Joker: It’s convenient this way.

Fox: I suppose so. Thank you.

Joker: Anytime boo.

Joker: Okay. Here’s what went down:

Joker: After school, Ann, Ryuji and I waited on the rooftop for Makoto.

Panther: makoto showed up and told us about the target she wanted us to take down

Skull: she didnt give us a name tho

Fox: Right.

Joker: All we know is that this guy’s a mafia boss, and he apparently controls Shibuya.

Panther: this guy has been targeting minors, and a lot of kids at shujin have been targeted.

Skull: from what we know the way he targets em is by askin if they want an easy part time job

Joker: Makoto gave us two weeks to change his heart, and if we don’t then she’ll turn us in.

Fox: So basically we’re being blackmailed to change the heart of someone we have absolutely no information about in an unreasonable amount of time, and if we don’t then we’ll be arrested.

Skull: pretty much

Joker: Okay. So we need to get information. Ann, you said there were some girls you could talk to about this?

Ann: yep!

Skull: i aint as good as this kinda thing as mishima or somethin but i can check online and see if i can find anything

Joker: Perfect.

Fox: I can ask around Kosei and see what I can find.

Joker: Thank you, Yusuke.

Joker: So I guess that leaves Shujin to me.

Skull: yea

Skull: actually theres somethin u should prolly know if ur gonna check shujin

Joker: Yeah??

Skull: theres this kid named lida whos apparently been spendin a shit ton of money lately

Skull: he was talkin about this new part time job he has. hes in ur class so u can probably talk to him and try to get some info

Joker: Awesome.

Joker: Ann, can you help me with this? Somehow I don’t think he’ll be too eager to talk to me about what could potentially be a life-or-death situation. You know, criminal record and everything?

Panther: oh, right..

Panther: why me though??

Joker: First of all, Ryuji is known as the school delinquent. Second off, you’re in my class. Thirdly, he’d probably be a little less on-edge if he were to talk to a woman rather than a man.

Joker: Also Yusuke goes to a different school so he can’t help. Sorry, Yusuke.

Fox: It’s quite alright.

Joker: Please, Ann??

Panther: fine

Joker: Thank you. I owe you.

Panther: yep

Joker: Anyways, I currently Hate life.

Panther: current mood

Skull: same

Fox: Same.

Skull: yusuke???

Fox: Yes?

Skull: oh uh..nevermind. just a little surprised i guess

Skull: yusukes the last person i woulda expected that from

Joker: Same.

Fox: Life is meaningless and eventually we all die.

Skull: shit dude thats deep


Joker: Okay listen. I did not ask for an existential crisis today Yusuke.

Skull: dude r u ok

Fox: I believe so?

Panther: … yusuke, just how much time have you been spending with akira lately??

Joker: Not enough.

Fox: Outside of meetings? Not often.

Fox: We’ve only met up once or twice.

Joker: n o t e n o u g h t

Panther: too much time, if you ask me

Joker: Ann. Hush.

Panther: make me

Skull: thats kinky


Joker: ...Ann….are you into that?

Panther: NO

Panther: what are you into akira

Joker: Choking.

Panther: oh

Skull: o h

Panther: i was… not expecting a serious answer

Joker: Specifically with a long, thick rope.

Joker: Mmm yes daddy just wrap that around my neck and hang me from the roof I long for the sweet sweet embrace of death.

Skull: edgy.png

Panther: i take it back

Panther: that was not serious

Panther: what was i expecting

Joker: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


June 15th, 2017

5:09 pm




~Joker has changed the name of the chat to Thot Begone ~

Skull: wats with the new chat name?

Joker: Makoto was irritating me so I decided to be passive aggressive towards her.

Joker: She’s never going to see it but she’s still annoying.

Skull: wat did she do??

Joker: Nothing, really. She was following me in the hallway again when I was going to the library to talk to Lida and noticed her following me. She’s not subtle in the slightest.

Skull: wat happened with that btw?

Joker: Well.

Joker: Once again, we got to see Ann’s World Class Acting™

Joker: You can’t see it, but Ann just hit me. Thanks Ann.

Joker: Long story short, Linda confirmed what we already knew. He’s a victim of this guy.

Skull: “linda”

Joker: I think that name suits him better.

Joker: Anyway Lidia also confirmed that the part time job is drug trafficking. Basically he had to deliver a package to a location, the mafia got pictures, the package was drugs and now they’re blackmailing him. If he doesn’t pay them, they’re going to continue to threaten him.

Joker: Poor Liza Koshy..

Skull: DUDE

Skull: first, that’s fucked. no one should ever have to go through this shit

Joker: You said it.

Skull: second

Skull: lidia??

Skull: liza koshy??

Skull: isnt she a youtuber or some shit??

Joker: Youtuber and actor, I believe. I don’t really watch her videos.

Joker: Fine, fine, I won’t call him Lidia or Liza Koshy.

Joker: In all seriousness, we have to do something about this. Not just because Makoto is blackmailing us, but serious people are in danger here.

Joker: Don’t get me wrong, Kamoshida was bad. He was an absolute piece of shit and deserves to rot in prison for what he did. But with Kamoshida, at least his victims still had a chance.

Joker: Madarame ruined lives but not in the same way this fucker is. Madarame took away any chance his pupils ever had of creating a name for themselves and fucking used them. He ripped away anything and everything art related and more. He was a fucking scumbag. He ruined lives, but… You might hate me for saying this, but he didn’t force his pupil to commit suicide. He drove his pupil to suicide, yes, but he didn’t force him to end his life.

Joker: The fucker we’re dealing with now? We’re dealing with something else entirely. This asshole targets minors and bleeds them of everything they have. This is just absolutely fucked.

Joker: If this guy has a palace, which he most likely does judging from what we’ve seen, I’m afraid to see what it looks like.

Skull: i hear ya man

Skull: tbh im not too happy about bein blackmailed by miss prez but i dont think any of us are

Skull: but we do have to do this. not just bc makoto told us to but because its the right thing to do

Joker: Exactly.

Joker: We have to do this.

Joker: For Lisa Simpson and all of the other victims.



Joker: Sorry. I know this was supposed to be a serious moment but I couldn’t help it.

Skull: that is one way to kill the vibe

Joker: Okay okay time to be serious again.

Joker: Actually, wait.

Joker: One more?

Skull: fine

Joker: Lizzie Mcguire


Joker: I’m done.

Joker: Wait.

Joker: Lily Collins.

Joker: Lame ass NPC.

Joker: Okay for real this time, I’m done.



Skull: my mom just walked in to check on me bc i was laughing so hard

Joker: I couldn’t help it. This is supposed to be serious but how can I not make fun of this guy’s name?

Joker: Seriously, his name is Lida. How can I not fuck with that.

Skull: i mean technically u could fuck with any name

Joker: Oh yeah? Fuck with my name then.

Skull: africa kangaroo

Joker: Ok Ryobi SocialMotorBoat

Skull: kjashdkjakjkjasdjjk

Panther: wtf did i just come back to

Skull: oh hey ann

Joker: Ant Tamagotchi.

Panther: no

Joker: Just accept it, Ant.

Panther: absolutely not

Skull: wait werent u just with each other?

Panther: yeah. we left school and walked to the station together but we went our separate ways after

Skull: oh

Panther: wait what about yusuke?

Fox: What?

Skull: HOLY SHIT DUDE WHen did you get here

Fox: Just now.

Joker: I think you summoned him.

Joker: Also Yusuke doesn’t need a bad interpretation of his name he’s perfect the way he is.

Panther: that’s gay

Joker: You’re gay.

Panther: got me there

Skull: yugio kitwater


Fox: I don’t understand..?

Joker: Don’t worry about it just keep painting.

Fox: Okay…?

Joker: Anyways, now that we’re all here, tomorrow we’re going to have to check around Shibuya. Lindsay said that if we want to find these guys to check along central street.

Panther: “lindsay”

Joker: Ant, hush, I was talking.

Fox: This is a text conversation.

Skull: ya got fucking told africa

Joker: Shut the fuck up Ryobi.

Fox: I still do not understand these nicknames.

Panther: it’s ok yugio, you don’t need to understand

Joker: We are not calling my baby Yugio, okay?

Panther: yugio kitwater

Skull: yugio kitwater

Fox: ...

Fox: ...Yugio Kitwater?

Joker: I am going to kick all of you out of the Phantom Thieves.

Joker: It will just be Morgana, Yugio and I.




Fox: I am… not even going to question what is happening at this point.





Panther: it’s times like this when i wish i was admin

Fox: Why?

Panther: so i could change the chat name

Fox: What would you change it to?

Panther: “akira’s a hypocrite”

Panther: or something along those lines

Panther: maybe i’d just kick akira out who knows

Joker: Ann I swear

Panther: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Joker: ಠ_ಠ

Panther: (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧ ✧゚・: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)

Panther: ^ me and ryobi socialmotorboat when we catch @africa kangaroo being a little bitch



Joker: I’m going to go see Mishima I’m done with all of you bye.

Fox: What… just happened?

Skull: gods work, yugio. gods work just happened

Fox: Okay?

Chapter Text

June 16th 2017

5:59 pm


Thot Begone


Joker: Subtle: (adj)

(especially of a change or distinction) so delicate or precise as to be difficult to analyze or describe

Panther: akira wth??

Joker: Makoto: (proper noun)
One who apparently does not know how to be subtle in the slightest


Skull: dude wtf?

Joker: I told you guys what happened, right? While searching around central street, I “ran” into Makoto in the alleyway by Protein Lovers’.

Joker: “Ran” meaning she was stalking me, but what else is new.

Joker: Anyways, we “ran” into each other and she started to grill me for answers that I didn’t have. Then, low and behold, some shady-ass motherfucker in a hawaiian shirt came up to us and asked if we wanted an easy part time job.

Joker: Makoto started asking questions, trying to be “subtle.”

Joker: However, I don’t think Makoto knows the definition of the word subtle, because this guy saw right through her and that was that.

Joker: What the fuck Makoto?!

Joker: Anyways, we’re meeting up at Karaoke tomorrow, right?

Fox: I believe so.

Joker: Are any of you going to sing? I volunteer Ryuji.

Skull: hell no

Joker: Ann?

Panther: no?

Joker: Yusuke???

Fox: I’ll pass.

Joker: Damn.

Panther: are you going to sing, akira?

Joker: Nah.

Panther: well ok then

Joker: I still think Ryuji should sing.

Skull: eff that

Skull: id rather suffer a mental shutdown than sing at karaoke

Joker: Same.

Joker: Although I don’t really think it’s possible?

Skull: wdym

Joker: A mental shutdown occurs when a person’s shadow is killed. If we were to have killed Madarame’s shadow in his palace he would have suffered a mental shutdown. Had we killed Shadow Kamoshida he would have suffered a mental shutdown. Had we killed the shadow of anyone of our targets in Mementos they would have suffered a mental shutdown.

Skull: k and??

Joker: Morgana said that persona users can’t have palaces. For whatever reason, persona users just… cannot form palaces. Going off of that logic, it’s highly unlikely we’ll find a distorted version of ourselves in Mementos. We cannot suffer mental shutdowns or psychotic breakdowns.

Skull: o

Joker: Morgana said you’re a moron.

Skull: tell the cat im gonna kick his ass

Joker: Morgana says “I’m not a cat! Tell that idiot I’m going to destroy him!”

Panther: both of you, stop. we have serious issues we need to talk about here

Joker: Yeah. Like why Ann hasn’t told us anything about Shiho since they got together.

Joker: Or why Yusuke hasn’t realized that I’m seriously flirting with him. 

Panther: akira heel

Joker: Yes ma’am.

Panther: down, boy

Joker: Sorry.

Skull: thats kinky???


Panther: UM NO


Joker: Okay, ow.

Joker: I wouldn’t go that far with it.

Joker: Also, Ann, you’re avoiding my first statement.

Joker: What’s been going on with Shiho?

Panther: nothing is going on. we’re still dating and she’s still super sweet and i love her

Joker: Ann..

Joker: Ann that’s gay..

Panther: stfu you literally just said you wanted to make out with a guy

Joker: Um actually I typed it.

Joker: And it was crossed out so it doesn’t count.

Joker: Check your privilege.

Panther: maxresdefault.jpg

Joker: Okay now you’re just being mean.

Panther: eyeroll.gif

Joker: Wow. Okay wow.

Joker: That hurts, Ann. That hurts.

Panther: pathetic.png

Joker: Two can play at this game.

Panther: scared.jpg

Joker: rude.gif

Skull: ok can u guys maybe do that in a separate chat

Skull: i dont wanna click the link to all of these fuckin reaction images and shit

Joker: jake-no.gif

Panther: cady-says-no.gif

Skull: wow ok

Skull: thats just effin rude

Skull: i expected this from ann but u too akira??

Skull: betrayed by my own bro

Joker: I went to look up “sorry bb” reaction images and honestly everything is so dark and sad??

Joker: There was an image of someone writing the words “I’m sorry” in blood??

Joker: And I Am Not About That Life???

Panther: holy shit really.

Joker: Yeah. Everything is so sad and depressing. I just wanted to find a dumb reaction image just to be an asshole while also apologizing to Ryuji but I guess I can’t.

Joker: The internet is so dark.

Skull: well yeah

Skull: no shit

Joker: Shh


June 17th 2017

10:04 pm


Thot Begone


Joker: Y’all just an update but Ohya hasn’t responded yet.

Joker: Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go to sleep before my cat murders me.

Skull: shit still??

Fox: Give it time, Ryuji. We just emailed her this afternoon. I’m sure she’s a busy woman and she’ll respond when she’s able.

Skull: i think we have a right to be a little impatient

Skull: we have less than two weeks to learn this fuckers name, figure out his keywords and steal his heart before miss prez turns us in

Fox: And who’s fault is that?


Skull: im sorry ok?!?! wat more do u want from me??

Skull: besides ann is also at fault here

Fox: Yes, but she didn’t say “...we wouldn’t be doing stuff as the Phantom Thieves...

Skull: y u gotta throw me under the bus like this dude

Skull: thats effin low

Fox: Then maybe you should stop complaining about our limited time period. None of us are happy about this arrangement but this is the best chance we’ve got.

Skull: ….fine

Panther: yusuke is fucking ruthless.

Panther: akira is going to be sorry he missed this.


June 19th, 2017

5:59 am


Thot Begone






Panther: you snooze you lose i guess

Joker: fuck off

Panther: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


June 18th 2017

9:45 pm


Thot Begone


Joker: Junya Kaneshiro.

Joker: I know we talked about this in the main Phantom chat but his name is Junya Kaneshiro. Tomorrow we’re all meeting up, right?

Panther: yea

Fox: Yes.

Joker: Awesome.

Joker: Also just incase we don’t see him later, Ryuji gives his condolences.

Panther: ??? what are you talking about??

Fox: When you put it like that, you make it sound as if he died..

Joker: Honestly he might of.

Panther: !!!!!!! WHAT

Fox: Akira, what are you talking about?

Joker: I’m sure he’s fine.

Joker: ….Probably.

Panther: what happened to ryuji???

Joker: Nothing he’s fine.

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to rip ryuji ~

Panther: what the actual fuck

Joker: Listen it was either this or “rip ryuji’s asshole” and somehow I don’t think you’ll appreciate that.

Fox: That sounds rather crass.

Panther: that sounds really gross/wrong and i am not going to ask

Joker: That’s probably for the best.


June 19th, 2017

12:36 pm


They agreed to meet up at the Station Square in Shibuya.

Akira stepped off of the train and quickly made his way to the exit. It shouldn’t be too hard to find them, after all it was kind of hard to miss the three people who didn’t have brown or black hair. It was especially hard to miss them when two of them had bright blond hair.

Just as expected, he immediately spotted Ann and Yusuke standing next to a stone bench. Akira made his way towards them.

Ann noticed him first and waved him over eagerly. “Akira!”

He offered her a slight smile. Ann was a nice girl… Much nicer than he had first anticipated. When he had walked by her desk that day in April, before he even knew about the Metaverse or Kamoshida or anything that was going on, he remembered that she had whispered “liar” at him. When he questioned her, she had refused to answer or even look at him. Originally, Akira had thought she was going to turn out to be another bitchy high school girl who hated him before she even got to know him. Thankfully, she was nothing like that. Looking back on it, Akira supposed given everything she had been through she had every right to be bitchy. She hadn’t deserved any of the shit she had to go through. Shiho hadn’t deserved any of the shit she had to go through. None of them had deserved the shit they had to go through. Which just gave him all the more reason to change Kaneshiro’s heart.

Akira approached them. “Hey, guys.”

He quickly scanned the group. Ann, Yusuke, Morgana was in his bag…wait. They were missing someone.

“Where’s Ryuji?” Yusuke asked.

“I...thought he would have been here by now.” Akira answered honestly. He had been joking when he said Ryuji had died, but…. Did he actually?

“There he is!” Ann chirped. She pointed towards the train station.

Ryuji marched up to them, a scowl on his face. “I can’t believe you guys ditched me yesterday! I almost entered a world I want nothing to do with!”

Akira couldn’t help but smirk slightly at that. Perhaps he shouldn’t have left Ryuji behind like that, but hey… One day they’d both look back on it and laugh, but for now as it seemed, Akira was the only one laughing.

Ann shook her head. Her pigtails bounced back and forth. “What are you talking about?” Right. She hadn’t been in Shinjuku yesterday when Ryuji had accidentally picked up two older men.

It was an innocent enough question, but it caused the boy’s face to turn bright red. “N-nothing! Just, start it up, Yusuke…” Ryuji stammered. Akira had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

Yusuke looked at the boy curiously before fishing his phone out of his back pocket. He looked down at the screen while he spoke. “Okay, I entered Kaneshiro’s name into the nav. Just as expected, it’s a hit.” He showed them the screen as proof.

Morgana spoke up from where he sat on the wall. At some point he had crawled out of Akira’s bag and onto the stone wall. “All we need now are the two other keywords: what he thinks of as his palace and where it is.” His tail flicked back and forth. “We don’t have any clues other than the people falling victim around here. We’ll just have to try whatever keywords we can come up with.”

Ryuji groaned. “Ugh, that’s going to be impossible! How many buildings do you think there are in Shibuya?!” It was a rhetorical question.

Ann crossed her arms. Her sky blue eyes glimmered. “No complaining.”

Before Ryuji could open his mouth to argue, Yusuke cut him off. “If we can figure out what the palace is, we may be able to guess where it is by association.” He had a point.

Smart and pretty, Akira thought. Not to mention he can fight like a fucking badass. Is there anything this boy can’t do?

Ryuji considered this for a moment. “Hmm… it’s prolly somewhere he has control over.” Given what little information they had about Kaneshiro, it seemed safe to assume that. “Maybe”

Ann made a face as if she had taken a bite out of a lemon. “A garden?! Really?!”

“Shut up. I don’t see any of you trying to come up with suggestions.”

Yusuke shook his head. “No.”

“Hmm...he likes money so...what about a money bath? I’ve seen people online with things like that!” Ann chimed in.

This time it was Ryuji who made the lemon-face. “And you’re saying a garden is stupid? How are we going to infiltrate a money bath!”

“Shut up!”

“No. Not even close.” Yusuke sighed. He looked over at Akira. “How about it, Akira? Can you think of anything?”

Akira thought for a moment. Maybe it was something that cost a lot of money, like a mansion. He could also go with the humorous approach.

"'Money bath.'"

Yusuke cast him an unamused look. "Not even close. We just went over this."

Ann and Ryuji snickered at this. Akira thought for a moment, considering serious possibilities. Maybe...


“I see…” Yusuke input the codeword into the Nav. “Okay, that’s a hit. So...he thinks of somewhere in this city as his own bank…”

“I thought it would be something less realistic,” Ann admitted. She twirled the ends of one of her pigtails. “That’s all it is, huh?”

“Now then, what location would Kaneshiro think of as his own bank?” Morgana said thoughtfully.

“If we’re talkin’ about a place where he keeps his cash, maybe his hideout?” Ryuji offered. It was a reasonable enough guess. After all, Madarame had seen his own home as a museum, and Kamoshida had seen Shujin--the place where he worked--as his castle.

“How about a real bank?” Ann said.

Morgana made a noise. “It couldn’t be. His cognition wouldn’t be distorted in that case.”


“Dammit, we ain’t getting anywhere!” Ryuji growled. He scuffed at the ground with his sneaker.

“This may be difficult to explain, but maybe we’re thinking too ‘inside the box’?” Yusuke suggested. “Palaces emanate a passionate madness. It feels as though we’re missing that aspect.”

Ryuji looked at the artist as if he had two heads. “...The hell are you talking about?”

“This palace is a bank for someone who extorts money with criminal acts. It’s something more…”

“But what other ways can we think about it?” Ann inquired. She looked….confused. Something dawned on her. “Oh! Could it be a place where you withdraw money?”

Morgana perked up. “Hold on. Do you think it might have something to do with the victims? He’s taking money from his victims’ wallets, right? That means his bank is wherever they are!”

“That’s terrible!... but you may just be right…”

“Oh come on! How many people do you think Kaneshiro’s taken advantage of in all of Shibuya?!” Ryuji hissed, frustrated.

“Wait a second!” Yusuke exclaimed. He looked down at the nav on his phone. “...I have a hit.”

“Huh…? W-wait, what?! Did I say something right?!”

“The place that Kaneshiro thinks of as his bank is….” The artist quickly glanced at his phone screen. “...‘All of Shibuya.’”

“What?!” Ann gasped! “Like… the entire city?”

Akira made a noise. Somehow, while it was disgusting to think about, he wasn’t completely surprised. Which, honestly, was just really sad.

“I see...that’s certainly where his victims are. It turns out he really is a criminal…” Morgana aforementioned.

“But, wait. Is it okay for us to go into the Palace right out of a crowd like this?!” Ann wondered out loud.

Ryuji waved her off. “Nobody notices if a piece of trash disappears from a trash can. This ain’t any different.”

“In that case, let’s go.” Yusuke said. He tapped a few things on his phone and instantly they were all transported to the Metaverse.


June 19th 2017

12:40 pm


They were in Shibuya.

That much was obvious. If it weren’t for the sudden change in the time of day and the money falling out of the sky, Akira probably wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference.

Ann -- er, Panther -- gasped, suddenly. She pointed at something that Akira couldn’t quite make out. “What are those?!

Everyone turned. Off in the distance, where people normally would have been bustling around, were large grey boxes with legs. ATMs..

“Walking ATMs…” Fox muttered. “That must be Kaneshiro’s cognition of people… So this is what Kaneshiro considers a ‘bank.’” He put air quotes around the word “bank.”

Morgana bounded forward a bit, most likely to get a better look. “I never thought it would be the entire district. Look around us, the distortion is affecting the whole of Shibuya.”

“Huh? Whaddya mean?” Skull asked. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

Panther made a motion like she was snapping her fingers. However, due to the pink gloves that came with her metaverse outfit, it didn’t make much of a noise. “Ohh, that’s right! Even when we were in the castle and museum, the city outside looked totally normal.”

Fox scoffed, crossing his arms. “He sees everyone in Shibuya as his patron.” Disgust and possibly anger tinged his voice.

Skull grunted. He shoved his hands into his pockets and said “No surprise for a mafia boss.”

“It’s best we focus on finding Kaneshiro’s location and stealing his treasure as soon as possible.” Fox said. No one pointed out the underlying fact that they only had about a week or so left to steal the treasure before Makoto turned them in. No one had to point it out.

Skull nodded. “Yeah. His hideout’s gotta be somewhere around here. Let’s go look for it.”

Chapter Text

June 19th 2017

8:06 pm


r ip ryuji


Joker: we have about a week to do this and we don’t even know how to get into kaneshiro’s palace someone yeet me off a bridge

Fox: Yeet?

Joker: yeet

Skull: yeet yeet?

Joker: yeet yeet.

Joker: maybe yeet will be our always

Skull: hell yea

Joker:  tfioyeet.img

Skull: hjoly shit did u really photoshop tfios movie poster?

Joker: yeet

Fox: Do I even want to ask?

Joker: Probably not.

Skull: not really

Fox: Well alright then.

Joker: no but seriously. Kaneshiro’s palace is all the way in the fucking air and we have no way to get up there i am going to propel myself out the fucking window of leblanc i’m so over this

Panther: he’s not using proper punctuation or capitalization. that’s how you know he’s serious

Joker: hell yeah

Joker: yusuke, you’ll have to carry on my legacy. please continue to type using proper capitalization and punctuation.

Fox: That is how I type but okay. I’ll do it for you.




Skull: dude?

Panther: akira???



June 19th 2017

8:08 pm


Akira Kurusu → Ann Takamaki






AT: congratulations. somehow the two of u got even gayer



AT: this is really gay

AT: i can’t tell if you have a serious crush on him or not tbh. what’s going on there anyway?

AK: honestly i have no idea. I don’t really think about it. He’s really pretty and kind of smart sometimes and i like being around him but i don’t know if i have a crush on him or if i’m just somewhat attracted to him or what’s going on but between all the other shit we have going on i’m not going to think about it.

AT: fair enough

AK: okay but he said he would do it for me. Ann. he said he would do it for m e

AK: fuck dude

AK: i think i had a wet dream like that once



AK: jesus fuck im joKING


AT: kjfkljdjdslkjdsfjlkfkljfkj i dont know anymore. you go from serious to non-serious in a matter of five seconds i don’t know when you are or aren't joking anymore.

AT: i’m pretty sure you’re high like 98% of the time

AK: god i wish i was high

AT: akira

AT: no

AK: i know i know

AK: but god i wish

AT: do you want me to tell the group chat you didn’t die?

AK: nah i can do it i’m fine.


June 19th 2017

8:11 pm


rip ryuji


Joker: sorry morgana sat on my phone but im good now

Panther: are you sure about that?? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Joker: ann i swear to fuck

Skull: aight then

Joker: anyways, ann how’s shiho?

Panther: pretty and perfect and i love her

Joker: thats gay

Panther: stfu youre gay

Joker: shit i’ve been Exposed


June 20th, 2017

12:05 am


rip ryuji


Joker: Beep beep lettuce.

Fox: Beep beep lettuce?

Joker: BeepBeepLettuce.jpg

Skull: beep beep lettuce

Joker: beep beep lettuce

Skull: beep-beep-suicide.png

Joker: akljfwkkjdfhkKUHEDFKSKH RYUJI

Joker: beep-beep-jews.jpg


Skull: sheila.jpg


Joker: elf-practice.png

Skull: AKIRA


Joker: beep beep elf practice?


Joker: hqdefault.jpg

Joker: why weren’t you at ELF PRACTICE?!



Skull: yeet yeet lettuce

Joker: Max why weren’t you at elf practice?!

Skull: beep beep lettuce


Fox: Okay what the actual hell is going on right now.



Fox: I…

Fox: Okay. Why am I even questioning it at this point.

Joker: Yusuke why weren’t you at meme practice?


Fox: I want no involvement in this.

Panther: guys it’s 12 in the morning go to bed

Joker: No

Skull: wait for it

Skull: 3..

Skull: 2..

Skull: 1..

Joker: I’m going to bed goodnight guys.

Panther: and there it is

Chapter Text

June 20th 2017

6:26 pm


“We ain’t got nothin’..”

“Are we out of luck…?

“If only we could contact the real Kaneshiro…”

Makoto took a deep breath and clutched the strap of her bookbag. She spotted them in their usual place in the underground walkway. The Phantom Thieves…

If she was truly honest with herself, she was quite surprised that the Phantom Thieves were just a group of outcast teenagers. Sure, it made sense, especially when she stopped to observe who was in the group. Given the people who had been targets of the Phantom Thieves, it made far too much sense who was in the group.

Yusuke Kitagawa, previous pupil of the master artist Madarame, and allegedly a victim of Madarame’s abuse. Rumor had it that Madarame had abused and plagiarized the artwork of his students. If the Phantom Thieves truly were just, and if they were being completely honest then… No. Madarame had confessed to it himself. Either Madarame was lying and had some ulterior motive behind his confession, or...that was the truth. Makoto was leaning more towards the latter.

Ann Takamaki, the so-called “lover” of gold medalist and teacher Suguru Kamoshida. Makoto had often overheard students refer to Ann as “Kamoshida’s bitch.” Makto tended to try to stay away from gossip. The fact that she didn’t really get along well with the other students didn’t help much… Supposedly Kamoshida had been trying to force himself on her, and Ann had understandably not wanted it. Supposedly he then forced himself on Shiho Suzui, which was part of the reason she had jumped off the roof…

Actually, no. That last one wasn’t a rumor. That was the cold, hard truth of it all. Kamoshida was actually a womanizing sex offender. It was disgusting, and make Makoto nauseous just thinking about it.

Then there was Ryuji Sakamoto, the school delinquent. The entire school knew about the bad blood he and Kamoshida shared. Ryuji got pissed at Kamoshida and slapped him, and Kamoshida broke Ryuji’s leg in “self defense.” You couldn’t be a Shujin student and not know that story. The entire school knew about Ryuji, and how much of a “bad kid” he was. In retrospect, it was very clear as to why Ryuji would have been a Phantom Thief. It was too bad that he couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

And then there was him..Akira Kurusu, Shujin’s most infamous transfer, and every teacher’s least favorite student. Shortly after he had moved to Tokyo was when the first Phantom Thief instance came up. It was because of that that Principal Kobayakawa had asked Makoto to observe him and collect intel on the Phantom Thieves. The only question she had was...why was he a Phantom Thief? The student with a criminal record and seemingly no reason to get involved was not just a Phantom Thief, but supposedly he was the leader of the Phantom Thieves. What was his reasoning behind it?

“...Hm?” Yusuke looked up at the sound of Makoto’s footsteps. A sour look crossed over his face as soon as they made eye contact.

Makoto stood in front of the small group. She let go of the strap of her bookbag.

Ann scowled. “What do you want?”

“Nothing in particular. I just saw you all together here.” Makoto answered, mostly truthfully.

Ryuji scoffed. He put his hands on his hips. “That so?” His words dripped with sarcasm.

Makoto clasped her hands in front of her politely. “You seem to be having quite a bit of trouble.” Perhaps this was her chance? Maybe she’d finally be able to prove her usefulness.

Ann snorted in response. “So you’re here to check up on us.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement. She flipped one of her pigtails behind her shoulder. “You may be the student council president, but when it comes to what we do you’re useless.”

Useless. The word stung, like someone had driven a knife into Makoto. Did everyone really think she was useless? She was trying her best… “Useless…?” Just uttering the word left a bitter after taste.

Sis’s voice rang clear in her head. “Right now you’re useless to me!” The memory played over in her mind like a movie. Sae’s red eyes shining with anger, how her silver hair fell in front of her face like a curtain, how she slammed her hands on the dining table… “All you do is eat away at my life.”

Yusuke crossed his arms. “To be frank, yes.” It was a blunt statement, but in a way, it almost hurt more.

Ann placed one hand on her hip, and jabbed a pink painted nail in Makoto’s general direction. “Just stay on your high horse and watch. Or do you want to eavesdrop, since you’re so good at it?” Venom soaked each and every sentence she uttered.

Makoto looked at the ground, quickly blinking back a few tears. She..she could be helpful. She was helpful. Right? She bit her lip and looked up, the idea suddenly hitting her like a stack of bricks. “...So you wish to get in contact with Kaneshiro. That is what you were just discussing, weren’t you? It seemed you just needed to find out where he is.”

Akria folded his arms and leaned cooly against the railing. “Something like that.” His answer was vague and shrouded in mystery, just as he was.

Ryuji lightly nudged Akira. “You don’t gotta answer her honestly!”

In response, the boy just pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

Makoto could still here Goro Akechi’s voice in her head, taunting her. “So you’re just the good girl type of push over.”

“Right now, you’re useless to me.”

No... Makoto thought. She clenched her hands into fists. “I’m not…”

Ryuji raised an eyebrow. “What was that?”

Makoto did a half point turn on her heel. “Fine. I’ll help you meet Kaneshiro.” She was going to prove she wasn’t useless if it was the last thing she did.

With that, she strutted off. She could just barely hear Yusuke’s voice saying “What exactly is she planning on doing?” Followed by Ryuji’s: “She had a dead serious look in her eyes…”


June 20th, 2017

6:43 pm


“There are way too many people here!”

People flooded the streets of Shibuya, like fish swimming upstream. Morgana turned to Akira, his blue eyes glowing in anticipation.

Ryuji, who was standing to the left of Akira, made a low throaty growl. “We’re never gonna find her.”

Akira’s phone buzzed in his pocket. The soft “pi pi pi” of his phone rang, muffled slightly by his pocket. Feeling everyone’s eyes on him, he fished it out. “Thot begone” flashed across the screen. With a shrug, the boy pressed the green “answer call” button.

Makoto’s voice sounded nice and clear. “Hello? It’s me...Makoto Niijima,” There was an edge to her voice. If her words were knives, she would have just cut straight through Akira. It sent a shiver down his spine. “Just stay on the phone and listen. Make sure you record the call as well.”

Ann perked up from where she stood. “Huh? Who is it?”

Both her and Ryuji approached Akira, standing on either side of him. He took the phone away from his ear and put it on speaker, so that all three of them could hear.

Makoto’s voice came through the speaker. It was more muffled, as if she had stuck her phone in the waistband of her skirt. “Do you guys know Kaneshiro?”

“What?” That was from another voice. A man’s voice.

Ryuji took a step back. “That idiot! What’s she doin’?!” He stage whispered. Akira cooly put his finger to his lips, silencing the artificial blond.

“I heard I could find someone named Kaneshiro if I came to central street.” Makoto again.

Ann made a noise, some sort of combination of a gasp and a squeak. “Central street!”

“She’s being too rash.” Yusuke commented. Well, it was more like a growl, really.  His steel gray eyes twinkled. Quickly he took off towards central street, Akira and the others following close behind.


June 20th, 2017

6:46 pm


“What are you gettin’ at?”

Makoto breathed through her nose, her fist clenched. Her phone -- hopefully Kurusu was still on the other line -- was tucked away in the waistband of her skirt. She would show him...she could be useful.

In front of her stood two menacing gang members, both with slicked back hair and black sweaters. One of them, the one to the right of her, had his sweater unzipped and thrown over a loud, red hawaiian shirt.

“He’s blackmailing the students at Shujin Academy, is he not?” Makoto spoke daringly. Somehow, her voice didn’t shake. Even more surprising, however, she didn’t feel scared in the slightest. “Tell him if he doesn’t want me talking to the police about it, he’d better agree to meet with me.”

The man on the left -- this one had piercings -- took a few steps towards Makoto. “You got a death wish or somethin’?”

The other man, the more menacing one in the hawaiian shirt sighed, cussing under his breath. A black car with tinted pulled up. The menacing man jerked open the door and turned to Makoto. “He says he’ll meetcha. Get in.”

Makoto crossed her arms defiantly. “You better be taking me to Kaneshiro.”

The pierced man sneered. “He said get the fuck in!” He jabbed the girl in the back, practically shoving her into the car. 


June 20th 2017

6:51 pm


“Hey, wasn’t that--”

A black car zoomed away. A black car with tinted windows where just a moment ago a girl in a school uniform stepped into.


What the hell is she doing?! Akira mentally screamed. Is she insane?!

Morgana made a defiant noise. “It’s the guys that messed with us the other day. So they were connected to Kaneshiro.”

Ann whirled around to face Akira. “She still on?”

Akira nodded once, clicking on his phone to show the call was still going.

A man’s voice sounded through the line. “Contact Kaneshiro. Tell him we got a good one.”

“Where are we going?” That one was Makoto. Her voice was icy and stone cold.

“Guess we can’t do anythin’ to her if she’s Kaneshiro’s customer.” Another voice. This was a different man’s voice.

“Hey, I asked a question here. Where are we going?" Makoto again. Akira could sense the glare in her voice.

Ann gasped. “We’ve gotta go after them!”

In retrospect, there was something really strange about seeing Ann so concerned. Clearly something had transpired between her and Makoto that had left her more than dissatisfied. If Akira had to take a guess, he would say it was something having to do with Shiho. Ann would defend Shiho to the end of the earth and back. Ann would set the world on fire and watch it burn, all with a smile on her face if it meant Shiho was safe. Whatever had happened between Ann and Makoto, it obviously left a bitter taste in Ann’s mouth. Then again, Akira knew that Ann had a big heart.

The girl took off towards the direction of the car, the others right on her heels.

“Ryuji, get a taxi,” Yusuke ordered. “I’ll--” He took a sketchbook and pencil out of seemingly nowhere and scribbled something down. “Okay, I’ve got their license plate. My sketching skills have come in handy.” The last part of that statement was more said under his breath.

“Agh, shit he ignored me!” Ryuji hissed. All of a sudden, he jumped out into the middle of the road, causing a black taxi to stop dead in its tracks. “Dammit, I said stop!"

“Ryuji!” Ann scolded.

He rolled his eyes slightly. “Hurry up and get in.”


July 20th 2017

11:21 pm


rip ryuji


Joker: Well.

Fox: Well.

Joker: ...That happened.

Fox: It did.

Joker: I guess this means Makoto is part of us now.

Fox: I guess so.

Joker: I uh…

Joker: Damn. Her persona awakening was seriously hardcore. I thought Ann’s awakening was intense…

Joker: Oh wait, that’s the first persona awakening you’ve seen, right?

Fox: Technically no, as  I was there for my own. However, I was unable to really see myself awakening my persona so, in a way that’s right.

Joker: Yeah. Well, um...typically you don’t smash through the concrete floor when you’re awakening your persona.

Joker: Or maybe you’re supposed to and the rest of us just aren’t doing it right? I don’t know.

Fox: That is a possibility. It’s unlikely, but it is still a possibility.

Joker: Did you see Makoto’s persona?

Fox: Her persona is unique to say the least.

Joker: Yeah.

Joker: What do you think of her outfit?

Fox: Sharp.

Joker: I mean...yeah, it is covered in spikes, very observant there.

Fox: It’s very different from what you would expect from her.

Joker: I mean, that’s true.

Joker: Honestly, I didn’t even expect Makoto to be a persona user. She seemed too...rule abiding.

Joker: Then again, I suppose I could say the same thing about you.

Fox: You’re right. Before I met the Phantom Thieves I was...very loyal to Madarame.

Fox: I knew about all of the horrible things he had been doing, but I remained loyal to him. I didn’t know what else to do or where I would go if he were no longer in my life…

Fox: Well, then again, we all have our breaking points. Sometimes we just need someone, or something, help us find it.

Joker: You’ve got a point there

Panther: sorry to interrupt, but it’s 12 in the morning and i don’t appreciate you two blowing up my phone. go to bed.

Joker: Yeah, yeah. Mona was yelling at me to go to sleep anyway.

Fox: I should probably get some rest as well. Goodnight, Akira.

Joker: Goodnight.

Chapter Text

June 21st 2017

10:28 pm


rip ryuji


~ Joker has added Makoto Niijima to the chat~

~ Joker has changed Makoto Niijima ’s name to Queen ~

Joker: Welcome to hell.

Queen: What is this?

Skull: hell

Fox: A group chat.

Queen: I’m aware of that but...why?

Joker: Why not?

Queen: Oh...okay then.

Joker: In other news, Kaneshiro’s palace makes me want to die :^)

Skull: why is this a mood

Joker: Seriously. We spent hours trying to figure out how the fuck to get down stairs.

Joker: The solution was so simple. Just jump down the pipes, and there’s the fucking vault.

Joker: But no, that shit was too complicated for us.

Joker: Seriously, I’m pissed off about this.

Fox: It was rather inconvenient.

Joker: For Phantom Thieves, we’re really dense.

Fox: What’s even more inconvenient is all the security cameras…

Queen: Is this what everyone does? Just complains about how obnoxious the palaces are?

Joker: Yeah.

Skull: p much

Fox: For the most part.

Joker: We also bitch about life in general.

Joker: Hey uh...Makoto? Don’t scroll up.

Queen: Why?

Joker: Just don’t.

Skull: please dont

Queen: ...Okay.

Joker: Oh yeah, and we also make fun of Ann for being gay.

Panther: stfu you’re gay

Joker: You got me there.

Queen: What??

Joker: You didn’t know??

Joker: Ann’s gay.

Panther: Bi, actually.

Queen: Oh, okay. That’s nice, I guess.

Panther: Akira’s also bi.

Joker: finger-guns.jpg

Queen: I didn’t realize just how supportive you all are of each other.

Joker: Yeah, it’s pretty supportive here.

Joker: We have two bisexuals, a heterosexual(?), and Yusuke. We’re all pretty supportive.

Queen: Oh.

Skull: is yusuke just his own separate entity?

Panther: pretty much, yeah.

Joker: Why? Is there a problem?

Queen: No, absolutely not. I was just...surprised at the overwhelming amount of support.

Skull: us outcasts have gotta stick together ig

Fox: All four of us have a troubled past. The common thread between Ann, Ryuji and myself is that Akira was there to help and support us in a time when no one else would. Akira actually managed to talk some sense into me when I turned a blind eye to what was actually happening. I would hope that after everything that has happened, they would be there to support me in the same way I hope they know I’m there to support them.

Queen: I had no idea just how deep it went. I won’t pry or try to question any of you further, but I’m shocked at the overwhelming amount of support.

Joker: Surprise. The Phantom Thieves don’t just steal hearts and piss off the cops.

Queen: I never insinuated that that was all the Phantom Thieves were cut out to be.

Skull: relax hes messin with you

Queen: Oh.

Joker: :^)

Joker: Welcome to hell, please enjoy your stay.

Queen: When can I leave?

Skull: never

Joker: I long as you don’t decide to rat us out, you can stay for as long as you want I guess.

Panther: never

Joker: Ann, no.

Panther: you didn’t call out ryuji

Joker: We expect that kind of thing from Ryuji.

Skull: tf does that mean

Joker: What I just said.

Queen: Um…

Fox: This is normal. I tend not to question it at this point.

Skull: um excuse

Skull: rude.jpg

Joker: suck-it.jpg

Panther: hey um can we Not do this again

Joker: elizabeth-banks.gif

Skull: anaconda.gif

Panther: i’m disowning all of you

Panther: i’m going to bed fuck all of you

Joker: Wow rude.

Skull: k bye ann

Joker: Night Ann.

Queen: What just happened?

Skull: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Joker: noodle-arm-shrug.png

Fox: It appears they managed to chase away Ann again.

Queen: Again?

Joker: Yeah. She gets really fed up with our bullshit and randomly leaves the chat sometimes.

Joker: I mean, for a while she was the only female so…

Joker: It’s probably not fun being stuck with a ton of dumb boys.

Joker: Well, dumb boys and Yusuke. 

Skull: yusuke is,,v unique

Fox: Yes well, I suppose sometimes it is difficult to put up with my "eccentricities."

Queen: I see…

Joker: With you here Makoto, maybe we can even it out a little bit.

Queen: I hope so.

Skull: u hope so?

Queen: Is there a problem?

Joker: No, Ryuji’s just being dense.

Skull: hey!

Fox: So same as usual?

Skull: HEY

Skull: thats fresh coming from u

Queen: I don’t think the term “fresh” is appropriate in that sentence.

Fox: My statement still stands.

Joker: I can’t believe Yusuke just destroyed Ryuji.

Queen: On that note, I think I’ll get to bed myself.

Joker: gn Makoto

Skull: gn

Fox: Goodnight.

Queen: Try not to break anything.

Joker: No promises, but we’ll try.

Chapter Text

June 22nd 2017

5:06 pm


“Let’s take a break.”

Joker took a seat at one satin couches in the safe room. The other phantom thieves scattered themselves elsewhere. Panther opted to sit on the center table, whilst Queen had chosen one of the chairs surrounding the promontory. Skull sat on the other end of the couch, turning the heavy steel pipe in his hands. Fox leaned against one of the walls with ease.

Fox. Fox was… shit, Joker wasn’t entirely sure how to describe Fox. He was eccentric, to say the least. Very eccentric, and somewhat difficult to work with at times. Joker didn’t mind any of that. Actually, he valued the eccentricities. In his opinion, it just gave Fox more character.

Fox took off his mask and dragged his gloved hand through his silky hair. Akira wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through his hair.

Joker couldn’t help but notice how Fox’s metaverse costume was unzipped just slightly so that it showed a bit of his chest. That thin strip of skin, revealing his sharp collar bones and his long, slim neck.

Somehow, the leader forced his gaze upwards. There was also Fox’s sharp jawline and high cheekbones -- so sharp you could cut something on it, probably. His round lips appeared soft. Those lips had uttered many words, some of which Joker still remembered to this days. Joker was curious to know what would happen if he pressed his lips to Yusuke’s.

Further upwards. His eyes; those startling, blue-grey eyes. Eyes that had witnessed many tragedies and many paintings. Eyes that had witnessed the splash and collision of a variety of a color splattered on a canvas, and had seen countless of hours of graphite against parchment, lines scrawled on paper, sketches a crisp, blank surface. Countless upon countless of sketches.

Those eyes, that had once witnessed the shadow of his former sensei collapse. How many tears those eyes had actually shed was anyone’s guess.

“See something you like?”

Akira started and whipped his head to the side. Panther stared at him with an intense gaze. Joker forced a smirk on his face before answering. “Just admiring the art work.”

“‘Admiring?’ It seems more like you’re undressing him with your eyes.” Panther playfully nudged Joker, and took a seat on the arm of the couch. “You can look, but you can’t touch.”

“Really? If there’s no touching, then who’s going to nail the artwork to the wall?”

The girl made a face. “That’s pretty gay.”

Akira shrugged. “You’re pretty gay.”

“You got me there.” Panther tapped her temple with one finger, then stood up. “Come on Joker, don’t you have a team to lead?”

She held out a hand, which the boy accepted with ease.

“You’re right,” Joker said. “Alright everyone, let’s consult.”


June 22nd 2017

11: 04 pm


rip ryuji


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to 99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them ~

Skull: uh wats with the name change

Joker: I was starting to get tired of “rip ryuji.” The joke isn’t funny anymore.

Joker: Also it felt appropriate given the fuckiNG SECURITY IN KANESHIRO’S SHITHOLE OF A BANK.

Joker: Madarame was bad? At least he didn’t have fucking cameras everywhere! Jfc if I have to break another power box I’m going to shoot myself. Maybe I'll have a second persona awakening in the process.

Skull: fair enough

Skull: the fuckin infared lasers were annoying as shit but at least we knew how to deal with em

Skull: ...meaning we relied on u but w/e

Joker: Honestly though.

Joker: Kaneshiro’s palace is a pain in the ass I am going to yeet myself off of a fucking cliff.

Fox: If you do that, we’ll have to find a new leader.

Skull: i nominate the cat

Fox: I nominate Queen.

Joker: Betrayed? By my own team members? It’s more likely than you think.

Panther: jesus christ go to bed you meme loving fucks

Panther: i’m trying to sleep please stop blowing up the goddamn chat.

Skull: u could always mute ur fuckin phone ann

Joker: ^^^

Joker: Okay but seriously I need to go to bed. Mona won’t stop yelling at me, I’m tired after that palace exploration today, and we have school in the morning.

Skull: gn

Fox: Goodnight.

Skull: ...and then there were 2

Fox: It appears that way.

Skull: wat do u think about this whole situation

Fox: Well, this palace is most definitely more complex than the last one, but I suppose given the circumstances that is to be suspected.

Skull: i mean yea

Fox: I don’t appreciate being blackmailed into doing this, but we’ve come this far. Makoto has proven to be a valuable asset to the team, and has made this much easier to manage.

Skull: u got a point

Skull: if u had told me a few days ago that miss student council prez was gonna turn out to be a badass persona user with spikes and a motorcycle i woulda asked if u were on drugs

Skull: but here we are i guess

Skull: miss student council prez has turned out to be one of the most badass members of our team

Skull: if not the most badass

Queen: I would appreciate if you would stop calling me that.

Fox: I would argue that Ann is also “badass” as you put it.

Fox: Oh, hello Makoto.

Skull: sorry queen

Skull: and yea, ann’s p badass too

Skull: u werent there for her awakening but she took it like a champ

Queen: I… appreciate all the compliments, but really I’m just trying to fight for what’s just.

Fox: That is the overall goal.

Queen: I severely misjudged the Phantom Thieves. To think that I would get roped into this.

Skull: welcome to this bs

Queen: It’s been an experience thus far.


June 23rd 2017

6:04 pm


99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them


Joker: Can I get uhhhhh mcfucking death with a side of end my suffering

Panther: what a mood

Joker: Ughh how’s the calling card coming?

Queen: We’re working on it.

Skull: id say its comin along p well

Joker: I hope you guys actually have a plan…

Queen: Just trust me on this one.

Joker: Okay, I’ll leave you to it.

Joker: Someone end my suffering :^)

Fox: Is everything okay?

Joker: You mean aside from the fact that we need to fight this fucker tomorrow and Kaneshiro’s palace is such a fucking pain in the ass?

Fox: Point taken.

Panther: who knew that rebelling against society would be so exhausting

Joker: Can I have that written on my tombstone?

Panther: same

Joker: Ah yes, I can see it now:

Joker: “Here lies Akira Kurusu. ‘who knew rebelling against society would be so exhausting.’”

Fox: Your tombstone would stand out quite a bit.

Joker: Can you guys just take turns snorting crack off of my fucking gravestone? Might as well have fun with it.

Panther: wh

Fox: If you really want me to…

Queen: None of you better be snorting anything.

Joker: But Makotooo I’ll be deaaaad.

Queen: You are not dying, and none of us are going to be snorting anything. Understand?

Joker: Sigh...fiiine.

Queen: We’re Phantom Thieves, not drug addicts.

Queen: We’re technically already breaking the law, we’re not going to break anymore.

Panther: can we make that our motto?

Joker: I support this.

Fox: I’m okay with this.

Joker: Makoto can I at least have strobe lights at my funeral?

Queen: Why?

Joker: Who says funerals have to be sad? I want my funeral to be a fucking party.

Queen: I don’t see the point in that, seeing as how most funerals usually take place during a time of mourning, but who am I to stop you.

Joker: Sweet.

Joker: There’s going to be strobe lights and confetti cannons, and heavy metal and dubstep will simultaneously be blasted out of the speakers.

Panther: that’s wild

Skull: wait so we can throw a party at his funeral but we cant snort crack off of his gravestone?? what bull

Joker: You can snort crack off of my casket if you want.

Panther: i don’t think any of us want to snort crack off of the place where your dead body is going to be

Joker: Don’t be silly, I won’t be in the casket. I’ll be hanging from the disco ball. I won’t be put in the casket until after the funeral.

Panther: well sign me up

Skull: im down

Queen: None of you are going to be snorting crack off of anything. Do you understand me?

Joker: If I say that I want my friends and fellow teammates to snort crack off of my casket and/or tombstone in my will you’ll have to accept my wishes.

Queen: I will tear your will to pieces and feed it to a shadow before that happens.

Joker: Son of a bitch.

Queen: There is going to be no drug usage allowed anywhere, and I will personally fight you if you try to disagree.

Fox: In this case, I find it is best to just agree with Makoto.

Joker: Fine. I really don’t feel like being run over today.

Queen: Thank you.

Skull: the callin card’s done.

Joker: Nice work, Ryuji. Great work, Makoto.

Queen: Thank you.

Skull: why is she great but im just nice?!

Joker: Because I said so that’s why.


June 24th, 20XX7

7:45 pm


99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them


Skull: so that was somethin

Fox: He… became a fly. Does anyone else see the irony in this?

Panther: it makes a lot of sense

Skull: he had a robot shaped likea pig

Fox: Of course he would…

Panther: well, that’s hopefully another target down.

Skull: we just gotta wait for the change of heart

Fox: The deadline is July 9th. We still have another fifteen days.

Panther: and thus the waiting game begins.

Skull: the waitin is by far the worst part of all of this

Fox: Indeed.

Panther: we have like two weeks left what do we do now

Skull: wait

Fox: Find other means to pass the time and hopefully take our minds off of it for now. Slowly countdown the days until the deadline and hope for the best.

Panther: sigh..maybe while we’re waiting i can do something productive

Skull: we could do that

Skull: nah im just gonna play video games and let my anxiety eat away at me

Panther: honestly same

Panther: except i don’t really play video games

Skull: i can show u if u want

Panther: i’ll pass but thanks for the offer

Joker: Microbiology.

Skull: tf

Joker: Fuck, auto correct.

Skull: tf were you writing where it was autocorrected to “microbiology”

Joker: You know, I would tell you but I think it’s funnier just to leave it a mystery.

Skull: hell of a way to enter the effin group

Skull: thats so extra

Panther: well, akira’s nothing if not Extra.

Joker: Um excuse me.

Panther: you’re excused honey.

Skull: damn.gif

Joker: ice.jpg

Fox: Why does it always seem that one way or another, the chat leads to this.

Joker: ...Shit, you right.


Chapter Text

June 25th, 2017

9:49 am


99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them


Joker: Hey so, I’m making an executive decision here.

~ Joker has promoted Queen to a moderator~

Joker: Makoto is now a mod.

Skull: r u serious?!

Skull: y does she get to be a mod but not the rest of us??

Joker: Let’s see, I’m owner of the server, also I’m your leader so I outrank all of you.

Joker: Ryuji, you can’t really be trusted with that kind of thing. It’s nothing personal, you’re just not cut out for that kind of power.

Joker: Ann… if Makoto wasn’t here then I’d probably trust her most but even then, Ann also is not cut out for that kind of power.

Joker: Makoto is responsible and independent. She managed to whip our asses into shape in Kaneshiro’s palace, so it only seems right.

Skull: aight first off rude

Skull: second off wat about yusuke?

Joker: Yusuke can barely take care of himself. What makes you think he could handle being mod?

Skull: tru

Skull: but makoto hasnt even been a pt for that long y make her mod?

Joker: She’s more responsible than any of you.

Joker: Maybe except for Morgana, but he can’t type.

Skull: ok fine point taken

Queen: Thank you, Akira. I’ll do my best.

Joker: I mean, this is kinda just a group chat to screw around, but if we have to lay down some warnings and put people in time out, we will.

Skull: do we even really need a second mod

Joker: Not really but I guess we might as well, just in case.

Skull: fair enough

Joker: Keeping the rest of you in line is a daily hassle and I’ll take as much help as I can get.

Skull: hey we aint that bad

Joker: You really are. I love you all to pieces but you truly are a pain in my ass.

Skull: rude

Queen: He does have a point.

Skull: HEY

Joker: See? This is why I made Makoto mod.


June 26th 2017

9:55 am


99 problems and security levels are all of them


Joker: Alright how much caffeine can I pour into my trash body before I have a heart attack.

Fox: I ask myself the same question every day.

Joker: Hey same.

Queen: Akira what are you talking about?

Queen: Also Yusuke please don’t.

Joker: Listen. I’m super tired right now. The only thing keeping me awake is Sojiro’s coffee. How much caffeine. Can I pour. Into my trash body. Before I have a heart attack.

Queen: Let’s not try to find out.

Fox: It is a mystery.

Joker: A mystery that is about to be solved. Yusuke would you care to join me?

Fox: I’d love to.

Queen: The both of you better not. Not if I have anything to say about it.

Joker: But Makoto…

Queen: No buts. I’m not about to let the two of you suffer from a heart attack because you decided to overdose on caffeine.

Joker: Okay but do you mean like a singular heart attack, or..?

Queen: Excuse me?

Joker: The way you phrased it made it sound like only one (1) heart attack would occur. So do Yusuke and I just share a heart or have our hearts plural just merged into one?? What’s going on there.

Queen: Neither one of you is going to have a, singular or plural, heart attack. Yusuke will not suffer a heart attack and neither will you.

Joker: Fuck.

Joker: You know I live in a cafe, right? I can make coffee whenever I damn well please.

Queen: Don’t even think about it.

Joker: Yes ma’am.

Fox: Unfortunately I do not believe I would have enough money to buy enough coffee to lead to a heart attack.


Fox: I would hate to impose.

Queen: Don’t give him enough coffee to kill him.

Joker: I wouldn’t even dream of it. I just want to make sure he’s being fed.

Panther: would someone care to explain to me why my phone just absolutely exploded and why it woke me up

Fox: You are aware there is a “do not disturb” option on your phone, right?

Panther: ...shut up

Queen: Are you seriously just now waking up?

Panther: yeah what about it.

Queen: It’s almost ten o’clock...Ann….

Panther: i was up late last night watching x-folders.

Joker: Understandable have a nice day.

Panther: see? akira gets it.

Queen: You should really sleep at a reasonable hour, Ann.

Panther: you see i hear what you’re saying

Joker: But X-Folders.

Panther: but x-folders.

Queen: Yusuke, you at least agree with me, right?

Fox: I do not understand the meaning of the word “sleep.”

Joker: Are you kidding? I swear Yusuke runs strictly off of caffeine and sheer willpower.


Queen: I swear just the three of you are taking years off of my life.

Panther: just being a phantom thief takes years off of your life

Joker: Seeing as how we’re literally wanted by the police, I would say that’s already been taken care of.

Queen: Fair enough, I suppose.


June 26th 2017

12:04 pm


99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them


Skull: so i may have fucked up a bit

Skull: does uh,,,anyone have a bandaid

Panther: what did you do this time

Skull: aight so i got bored and was screwing around with a knife

Skull: pocket knife. not like an effin kitchen knife or smth

Skull: and like it slipped out of my hand

Skull: i went to catch it and wound up catchin it by the blade

Panther: are...are you serious

Skull: yea

Panther: that’s..the dumbest thing i have ever read

Panther: why didn’t you just let the knife fall?

Skull: cuz then it would have fallen on my face

Skull: ann im laying down on my bed it would have fallen on my face.

Panther: nevermind.

Skull: my thumb is bleeding and were out of bandaids wat do

Panther: first wash your hand. if you have something to sanitize your hand use that

Skull: we have rubbing alcohol hows that

Panther: that should work

Panther: it’s going to sting like a bitch though

Skull: i got that much..ow

Skull: its been sanitized and we still dont have bandaids

Skull: fuck it im using scotch tape

Panther: don’ that.

Skull: do what?

Panther: put straight up scotch tape on a cut. that’s a very bad idea.

Skull: im not usin just scotch tape ann

Skull: im usin the tape to hold a piece of tissue together im not a heathen ann

Panther: do you have anything you could use as a bandaid??

Skull: uhhh no? i have an ace bandage somewhere but i dont think i need a giant ass bandage for one tiny cut on my hand

Panther: is that all you have?

Skull: yea p much

Skull: wait i think it stopped bleeding

Panther: that was a wild ride

Skull: it hurts to move my finger tho

Panther: that’s why we don’t play with knives ryuji

Skull: shut up

Joker: Okay what the hell did I just come back to?

Panther: ryuji was playing with a knife and hurt himself

Skull: shhhhhh



Joker: I gotta make the joke.

Panther: akira do not

Joker: Ryuji let me see what you have.

Skull: A KNIFE

Joker: NO.

Panther: you meme loving fucks

Joker: It be that way sometimes.

Fox: I don’t understand the joke you just made?


Joker: ^ Here.

Fox: That video seems more suited to Akira when in the Metaverse.

Skull: pffft

Joker: Wh

Joker: What?

Panther: no it makes sense and i agree with yusuke

Panther: akira you fight with a dagger

Joker: Yeah..?

Panther: if it wasn’t for the fact that you have gloves you would have hurt yourself with that knife way too many times.

Skull: dude u are a danger and if we could take that knife away from u we would except u need it to kick ass

Joker: You’re damn right I need it to kick ass.

Joker: I could probably throw down without it but it wouldn’t be as efficient.

Skull: fair enough i guess

Panther: doesn’t change the fact that you’re still dangerous with that

Joker: Your point is?

Panther: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


June 27th 2017

12:04 pm


99 Problems and Security Levels are all of them


Joker: If you guys had a stripper name what would it be and why.

Panther: akira wtf

Skull: suki notem tides

Joker: That sounds like my pornstar name.

Panther: akira wtf

Joker: I don’t even know.

Joker: I think mine would be Spicy Mocha.

Skull: that sounds like the name of a rejected spice girl

Joker: Pfft

Panther: when you think about it aren’t we all rejected spice girls

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Rejected Spice Girls ~

Skull: perfect

Queen: If I’m not mistaken, the three of you are in class right now and should be paying attention. Stop texting in class and get back to work.

Skull: yes maam

Joker: Makoto you’re also in class you can’t yell at us.

Queen: Incorrect. I was excused from classes to take care of some stuff for the student council, and I had a free minute.

Queen: Akira pay attention.

Joker: Yes Queen.

Chapter Text

June 29th 2017

3:17 pm


Rejected Spice Girls


Joker: So not that “Rejected Spice Girls” isn’t a great and accurate chatname but…

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to W.A.F.F.L.E. ~

Panther: waffle??

Joker: Yeah.

Panther: why waffle??

Joker: It’s an acronym.

Joker: “We Are Friends; Friends Love Eachother”

Queen: Akira you are aware that “each other” is two words, right?


Joker: Well I am now.

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to W.A.F.F.L.E-O ~

Joker: Is that better?

Queen: I suppose.

Joker: Wait.

Joker: Wait.

Joker: I have a better idea .

Panther: Oh no…

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Hot Babes ~

Skull: wtf

Panther: akira are you calling yourself a hot babe?

Joker: Hold on better idea.

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Hot Babes and Ryuji ~

Skull: wow rude

Panther: still not answering my question.

Joker: Ann I plead the fifth.

Panther: of course you do

Fox: So does that mean I am a “hot babe”?

Skull: name of the chat should be “hot babes and yusuke”

Joker: Sweetheart you are the hottest babe.

Joker: Ryuji one more comment like that and I will forcibly remove you from the chat.

Panther: akira.

Panther: chill your gay.

Joker: My gay doesn’t want to chill. My gay wants to let the pretty art boy know he’s the hottest babe.

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Yusuke is the Hottest Babe ~

Fox: Thank you?

Joker: Anything for the hottest babe in the country.

Panther: akira

Panther: chill your gay

Queen: Akira please stop changing the name of the chat.

~ Joker changed the name of the chat to No let me be gay ~

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Gay4Yusuke ~

Fox: I…

Joker: ;)

Queen: Akira.

Skull: o shit

Joker: Shit.

~ Queen has changed the name of the chat to Akira is about to lose his admin privileges ~

Joker: Please no.

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to W.A.F.F.L.E-O ~

Joker: I like this name we’re keeping it.

Queen: Fine.

Queen: Just stop changing the name every five seconds.

Joker: Yes ma’am.


June 30th 2017

8:29 pm



Joker: Why do people kiss at weddings?

Fox: I’m not sure. Hold on, I’ll look it up.

Joker: Seriously why do I have to declare my eternal love to someone by pressing my face against theirs. Do you know how unsanitary that is?

Joker: Ah yes I love how in order to signify my unfaltering love I must press my lips against the lips of the person I am declaring said love to in front of a large crowd of people who came to witness the binding of me and fiance. I love feeling their gross ass lip juices on my face as well as allow my gross ass lip juices to mix with their gross ass lip juices. Truly it is a lovely process.

Fox: I don’t believe the purpose of kissing is to mix “lip juices” as you put it.

Joker: God lip juices sounds really gross why did I put it that way.

Joker: Who came up with kissing? Seriously who woke up and thought “hmm I should smash my face against someone else’s. Oh shit that felt nice I think I’ll call it kissing”??

Fox: Apparently the way it used to be it was assumed that before the wedding the bride and groom had never kissed, so it was supposed to be their first kiss. Nowadays that’s not usually the case.

Joker: And kissing in front of an entire room of people sounds like a good way to share your first kiss?

Fox: It was most likely to signify something. If it means anything the kissing is apparently optional.

Joker: “First kiss.” Do you know how awkward the first kiss usually is? Fucking hell. My first kiss was in a movie theater when I was 15. I asked her if I could kiss her and we didn’t know how to make it work so she decided to pucker and it was really kind of disgusting and super wet. Kissing is gross.

Fox: One could assume that it would be wet. You are essentially just putting your lips together, and saliva comes out of your mouth.

Fox: As well as other things.

Joker: Ew. Don’t remind me of the shit that goes in and comes out of peoples mouths.

Joker: Weird stuff goes in mouths.

Fox: And comes out.

Joker: Like dicks. Sometimes those go in mouths.

Fox: And paint brushes.

Joker: What?? Yusuke please don’t tell me you’ve been putting paint brushes in your mouth..

Fox: Painters and artists sometimes will lick the paint brush bristles so that they keep their shape. This process is called tipping the brush.

Fox: Obviously you wouldn’t do this with paint on the brush. That could actually cause harm to a person.

Joker: I..

Joker: Wait so do you lick your paint brushes?

Fox: Cannot deny nor confirm.

Joker: Yusuke

Joker: Honey

Joker: I love you but what the fuck.

Fox: It helps the brushes.


Joker: Yusuke pls

Joker: Are they at least cleaned??

Fox: Of course.

Joker: Oh thank god.


July 2nd 2017

7:34 am



Queen: We officially have one week until our deadline. How do we know when the change of heart has taken place.

Joker: Morgana said “you’ll know.”

Queen: What exactly does he mean by that?

Joker: The past couple of targets have been...different. Kamoshida was absent for a while as you probably remember, and funny enough on the exact deadline he got up in front of the entire student body and confessed. I’m sure you remember how that went down.

Joker: Madarame on the other hand… Yusuke could probably tell you more about it, but from what we gathered he was bedridden for a few days before he confessed on live tv. We’re not sure what happened with Kamoshida those days he was absent, but one can only assume.

Queen: Are they supposed to confess in front of large bodies of people or..?

Joker: “No. A change of heart just changes the distorted desires of the target, and what happens next is on them. You’ll know when a change of heart occurs.” -Morgana

Queen: Hm… okay. I think I understand a little better.

Joker: Just… you’ll know.

Queen: Okay. I trust you. I apologize for having doubted you.

Joker: Don’t worry about it. This is your first mission, you have every reason to be nervous.

Joker: This is Ryuji, Ann, Morgana and my third “mission” I guess we’ll keep calling it ,and we still get super antsy. It’s honestly the waiting that’s the worst part.

Queen: I must admit, the anticipation is killing me. As each day passes by I can’t help but get more nervous.

Joker: Give it a little more time. We did everything right, there’s no way it could go wrong.

Queen: Okay.

Queen: We have a week left. I suppose we can wait and see what happens at the end of the week.

Joker: Exactly. Try not to think about it too much, okay?

Joker: After school Ann, Ryuji and I are gonna hang out a bit. You want to come with us?

Queen: Thank you for the offer, but I have to decline. I have to fulfil some of my duties as student council president after school, and then I have to study.

Joker: Alright. Just message the group if you change your mind.

Queen: Thank you.


July 1st 2017

2:04 am


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Hey do you have a moment? I know it’s two in the morning so maybe this isn’t the best time and I apologize about that.

YK: I can always spare a moment for you.

AK: Okay thanks. What are you doing up so late?

YK: I was working on a painting and lost track of the time. It wasn’t until my phone went off when I realized how long it has been.

YK: What are you doing awake at this hour?

AK: I couldn’t sleep. Had a lot on my mind.

AK: That’s actually what I came to talk to you about. I have a question for you.

YK: Oh? What is it?

AK: Okay. Well, uh..

AK: This might sound really strange but I’ve been thinking about it all night and…

AK: Have you ever considered getting your nose pierced?

YK: I’m sorry?

AK: I’m serious. Have you ever thought about getting a nose piercing?

YK: The thought has never crossed my mind, no.

YK: Why do you ask?

AK: I was thinking about it and you would look really good with a nose piercing.

AK: One of those chain ones, especially. You know uhh..these ones.

AK: image.jpg

YK: I will admit, I have never thought about such a thing.

YK: Do you really think it would look good on me?

AK: I mean you look good anyways

AK: But yeah, it would look nice. Different, too. It would make you stand out a lot more.

YK: Hm. That’s an interesting concept, but I’m afraid I’ll have to refrain from taking such actions.

AK: What? Why?

YK: A nose pierce would be rather “unprofessional” in a school setting and it could potentially hurt my reputation.

YK: Well, damage it more than it already is. Being known as “Madarame’s pupil” has damaged my reputation quite a bit as is.

AK: I will fight these fuckers. Whoever is being a douche to you because you’re Madarame’s former student is about to have a delinquent, criminal, and leader of the phantom thieves after them.

YK: It’s quite alright. After word got out about what Madarame had been doing, things got easier. Of course, now I stick out and have to constantly deal with whispering and random students coming up to me and asking if I’m alright. It’s more of a nuisance at this point.

AK: Are you okay? We never really talked much about what happened or how you’re holding up after it happened.

AK: You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. I just worry about you.

YK: I will admit, while it hasn’t been easy I think I’m handling it just fine. I’m able to take care of myself and know what I have to do.

AK: That’s not exactly what I meant. I know you’re taking care of myself given that you’re alive and healthy. Although you’re only sixteen and really shouldn’t be forced to be completely independant and on your own just yet. Hell, most of us have someone to help us and we’re still struggling.

AK: Point is you shouldn’t be dealing with this. You should have someone there to try and support you instead of suddenly being forced into the void to take care of yourself.

YK: I appreciate the concern but I can assure you that I’m okay.

YK: I think.

AK: You think?

YK: I’ll admit, there’s..a lot going on inside that I’m not comfortable sharing. At least not just yet.

AK: Okay. If you don’t want to talk about it that is perfectly fine and I’ll respect that.

AK: Just know that I’m here to support you no matter what, okay?

YK: Okay. Thank you for the continued support.

AK: Anytime. I care about you and want you to know you can always rely on me.


July 1st 2017

2:13 am


Akira spared one last glance at his phone screen and sighed. The dead air of Leblanc’s attic was filled by the soft breathing of Morgana, who was currently asleep on the other end of the futon. Akira set his phone down, clicking it off, and rested it on his chest. His heart pounded angrily against his rib cage, almost threatening to jump out and run. Two timing bastard, he thought in disappointment.

Why had that quick conversation with Yusuke worked him up so much? It was just another serious conversation, big whoop. He had had more serious conversations with people like Ann and Ryuji in the past. So what was so different here?

Why had Yusuke’s texts managed to cause such an indescribable feeling?

Why did it feel like worms were wriggling around inside his stomach, and with every new message he was suddenly so much lighter?

What was it about Yusuke that caused him to feel this way?

Ruling it as exhaustion, Akira pulled the thin blanket up to his chin and rolled onto his side. Maybe a little bit of sleep would fix the issue.

Or maybe that wasn’t the issue...

Chapter Text

July 1st 20XX7

7:34 am


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: Good morning.

YK: I thought about what you said last night.

YK: No one has ever quite been there to support me. Sure, Madarame was my teacher and taught me quite a bit, and for a time he was supportive of my actions and influenced me to continue strengthening and developing my art style, but he was never supportive in the same sense that you are.

YK: Now that I’ve thought about it a bit more, I’m realizing just how “toxic” that entire situation was. I’m grateful for what you did for me.

YK: This may sound strange, but I would just like you to know that while I do not completely understand why you always seem to be here to support me, the gesture is very much appreciated and I will do my best to reciprocate the gesture. In more familiar terms, I suppose you can count on me.

YK: Anyways, I’m sorry to bother you. I just wanted to let you know. Have a nice day.


July 1st 20XX7

8:03 am


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Ahh sorry for the delayed response. I slept in late this morning and then I had to help Sojiro with the dishes before going to school. I barely had any time to check my phone this morning.

AK: I was actually thinking about it a lot too. I don’t know what it’s like to be in your position and I don’t think I ever will, but what I do know is that we all need someone to lean on during hard times. When I met you guys, I was in a pretty bad place if I’m being completely honest here. I’d rather not go into detail with it, but all you need to know is that I was pretty stressed. You as well as the others helped me out a lot.

AK: Basically, what I’m saying here is that you were already there when I needed you. You’ve done more for me than you realize and I want to be there for you whenever you need me.

AK: Shit, my homeroom teacher is giving me a dirty look. I should probably put my phone down.

AK: Thank you. You’ve done so much for me.

AK: Well I think I’ve used up most of my emotions. I gotta go before Kawakami murders me.


July 1st 20XX7

12:16 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: My apologies. I didn’t notice my phone go off and did not think to check it until now.

YK: I appreciate everything that you have done for me, and I cannot thank you enough for it.

AK: Hey it’s no problem. You’ve been there for me so I’ll be here for you. Whether you know it or not, you really mean a lot to me.

YK: I appreciate that. You mean a lot to me too.

AK: Oh hey, I was wondering. After school do you want to stop by Leblanc? I could make you a cup of coffee and then I don’t know maybe we could hang out a bit?

YK: I would hate to impose.

AK: Don’t worry about that. It’s not imposing if I’m inviting you over.

AK: You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I was just wondering. I could use a study buddy for upcoming exams.

YK: I don’t even go to your school?

AK: I assume they’re teaching the same curriculum. Aren’t exams coming up for you too?

YK: Yes, in a few weeks actually.

YK: Well, if you’re sure I won’t be a bother to you then I suppose we could make that happen.

AK: Great! See you then.


July 1st 20XX7

12:20 pm


“You sure look happy.”

Akira looked up from his phone, only to be met with a set of concerned blue eyes.

Ann raised a finely plucked eyebrow at him. “Who are you texting?” She asked in a playful tone. A box of bento sat on her desk, and the soft chatter of the students eating lunch filled the classroom air.

Akira waved her off. “Don’t worry about it.”

Ryuji, who was sitting in a chair directly to the left of Akira, scoffed. “Dude. You have the same look on your face that Ann does whenever she talks about Shiho.”

“I do not.” Ann scolded. She reached over and lightly wacked Ryuji.

“Speaking of Shiho,” Akira started. He turned his attention to Ann and let his trademark Joker smirk spread across his face. “How is she?”

“Pretty and sweet and the best girlfriend I could ask for.” Ann replied. There was no hiding the fondness in her voice. Akira couldn’t help but think about how whipped she was. How ironic. The girl with the full body latex dominatrix suit and a leather whip was absolutely Shiho’s bitch. It was almost laughable. The world worked in strange ways, he supposed. “Over the weekend she actually took me on a boat ride in Inokashira Park. How adorable is that?”

“You see what I mean? Dude, she has the same exact look as you.” Ryuji exclaimed.

“Shut up.” The girl said. Her words held no malice over him. She flipped one of her pigtails over her shoulder, then turned her attention back to Akira. “Anyways, don’t change the topic. I asked you a question.”

The leader shrugged. “Last I checked I wasn’t bending over backwards for my best friend. No offense Ryuji, but you really are not my type. I prefer someone who can keep their temper when looking in the face of danger.”

“Hey!” Ryuji scoffed.

“Maybe so.” Ann said. She leaned on Akira’s desk, propping her head up in her hand.

Perhaps there was a hint of truth in Ann and Ryuji’s original statements. If Akira was honest, he had grown rather accustomed to Yusuke and all of his eccentricities.

Hmm. Maybe they were right.


July 2nd 2017

12:05 am


Akira Kurusu → Ann Takamaki


AK: Hey quick question. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want.

AT: what’s up?

AK: How did you know you were crushing on Shiho?

AT: uhhhh

AT: i just sorta did? like i cared about her a lot and one day it just sort of made sense and suddenly i knew why my chest felt tight and why i got butterflies around her

AT: does that make any sense?

AK: Yeah, that makes sense.

AT: why?

AK: I was just curious.

AK: Speaking of which, how is Shiho? You guys have been together for how long now?

AT: almost a month. july 7th, it will have officially been a month since we got together <3

AT: and to answer your question, she’s doing great. she’s come a long way since the incident, and while she’s not completely recovered just yet she’s getting there and i’m so proud of her

AK: Shiho’s real strong. It kind of sucks that I didn’t get to see her much before...that, but I know already that she’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.

AT: she really is. i look up to her a lot. she’s a brave little fighter and hasn’t stopped fighting since

AK: She makes you really happy, right?

AT: yeah. she makes me happy in a way i can’t even begin to describe

AK: Is she happy?

AT: i think so? she always seems to feel the same way, and she knows i would go to the ends of the earth to make sure she’s happy

AK: Ann that’s…

AK: That’s so gay.

AT: normally i’d respond with “you’re gay” but honestly yeah, that is pretty gay.

AT: is there a reason you’re asking?

AK: Not really, I was just thinking.

AT: about?

AK: Nothing in particular.

AK: Either way, I’m exhausted. Goodnight Ann.

AT: night!


July 2nd 2017

5:19 pm


One thing Akira had come to notice was that hanging out with Yusuke one on one was much different then hanging out with someone like Ann or Ryuji. With Ryuji, it was mostly playful banter and teasing and typical “bro” things, he presumed. With Ann, it was all fun and games until it wasn’t, and then they were there for support. With Yusuke, it was serene. Akira felt like he could let most of his walls down.

Notebooks and paper littered across one of the empty booths in the back of Leblanc. The cafe was empty, aside from Sojiro who was washing dishes in the back. Morgana had left to go on a walk about half an hour ago, and had yet to return. That was fine, he’d be back later.

Yusuke sat across from Akira with a binder open in front of him. He scribbled numbers and letters across the paper, his gaze flickering between his binder and a worksheet. If Akira had to take a guess, he was working on some sort of algebra equation. Algebra had never been Akira’s strongest point.

Akira sighed and turned his attention to his own work. Ms. Chouno had given them some sort of english assignment, in which they had to define english terms and use them in a sentence. English wasn’t his strongest point either, but he wasn’t completely horrible at it. He was passing the class, and at the end of the day he supposed that was enough.

“Are you any good at english?” Akira asked. Yusuke looked up, alloy eyes shining.

“It’s not my best subject, but I suppose I’m decent.” He answered. “Why do you ask?”

Akira turned his paper towards him. “Do you think you could help me with this question? I’m a little confused.”

Yusuke reached over and scanned the question. “Hmm..I think I might have taken some notes on something like that. Hold on,” He turned his attention back to his own binder and flipped through the pages.

Eventually he stopped at a page, letters and characters unreadable from the distance. On the back of the previous page, a flash of various purples and blacks and whites caught Akira’s eye. Something Yusuke had drawn?

He reached a hand over and tapped the drawing. “Hey, what’s that?”

“Oh, this?” Yusuke raised a fine eyebrow. “I got bored during a lecture and started doodling. You can look at it if you want.” He slid his binder across the table, allowing the other boy to see it more clearly.

What Akira assumed was a dragon sat across the page, dark scrawls of ink highlighting its features. A white spade sat in the center. Dark shades of purple and blues so dark they were almost black covered the dragon, a bit of white thrown in as well. The dragon’s front claws sat on top of the spade, and its tail curled around the bottom of it.

“Woah.” The leader muttered. “Holy shit, that’s incredible. How long did it take you to make this?”

“It’s not completely finished yet,” Yusuke said with a shrug. “I still need to pay more attention to some of the details, and shade it a little more. It’s mostly something I’ve been working on in between lectures.”

Akira lightly traced the pad of his finger against the edge of the picture, careful not to smudge it. “That’s amazing. How did you draw this?”

“It’s nothing big, just a small doodle.”

Small doodle?! If that’s what Yusuke considered a doodle, Akira couldn’t help but wonder what he considered a serious drawing.

“What inspired this color scheme?” He asked. The usage of the blues and purples and blacks were an interesting choice, but they flowed so perfectly together.

A slight smile tugged at the corner of the other boy’s mouth. “I was going for a certain...theme, I suppose you could call it. I was inspired by an aspect of myself that I’ve come to discover.” He chuckled slightly.

Akira nodded in interest. “I’d be interested to know that aspect of yourself.” He reached his hand across the table and placed it on top of Yusuke’s.

“Believe it or not, I think you already do.” Yusuke muttered. Akira’s heart tightened.

“Hey, Akira.” Sojiro stepped out from behind the counter, his voice booming. Abruptly, the boy removed his hand from Yusuke’s and jerked back in his seat. One would think he had been caught doing...other...things with how suddenly he reacted.

Sojiro looked at him curiously but said nothing about it. “I’m going home for the night. Make sure you lock up.”

“Sure thing.” Akira responded. He shut his notebook, and slid Yusuke’s binder back over to him.

Sojiro nodded once. He put his hat on top of his head and approached the door. “One more thing.” He started. “Your friend should probably go home soon. The trains are going to stop running in a little while.” On that note, he jerked open the door and stepped out, the bell ringing behind him.

Yusuke shut his binder and put it back in his bag. “He’s right, I probably should be leaving. Thank you for taking the time to study with me.”

“Hey, it’s no problem.” Akira said. “I enjoy spending time with you.

Yusuke paused a moment, before responding. “I enjoy spending time with you too.” He placed his pencils back into his bag and zipped it up. The boy slid out from the booth and stood, Akira following suit.

“Here, I’ll walk you to the door.” The leader said. Yusuke nodded in response.

He shouldered his bag and they approached the door in silence. Akira yanked the door open and held it there.

Yusuke turned to Akira, most likely to say something, but whatever it was got lost. The two made direct eye contact, and Akira felt his head swimming. He could get lost in Yusuke’s eyes. Something like a bee stung at his heart, worms sliding around in his stomach.

Somehow, his gaze trailed down to the other boy’s lips. Soft, plump lips. What if he…

Yusuke cleared his throat. “Well, goodnight Akira.”

“Y-yeah,” He said. His voice cracked, and he mentally kicked himself. “Goodnight.”

The taller boy turned and left, and Akira let the door swing shut. He pressed his back against the door and slid down slowly, until he found himself sitting on the ground.

“Shit,” He cursed. “I am so fucked.”


July 5th 2017

8:07 pm




Skull: can u make eggs in the microwave?

Panther: ryuji wtf

Skull: listen im tired n hungry nd dont really want to go outta my way to make food

Skull: can i just,,,micrwoave eggs?

Panther: “micrwoave”

Skull: shut

Fox: Microwaving eggs works sometimes, you just have to be careful.

Panther: yusuke,,,don’t tell me you’ve microwaved eggs before.

Fox: Do I seem like the type that knows how to properly use a stove?

Panther: yusuke,,,,,

Skull: 1) dude,,,
          2) thanks for the tip im gonna go microwave some eggs

Panther: RYUJI

Fox: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Panther: did yusuke just use an emoji

Panther: holy shit akira is going to be disappointed he missed this

Fox: Being in this chat for so long tends to rub off on you.

Panther: i can see that holy fuck

Skull: i cracked an egg and put it in the microwave

Skull: how long do i keep it in for

Fox:  About 45 seconds. Take it out and stir, microwave for another 30-45 seconds, stir again. They should be ready afterwards.

Skull: thanks

Panther: YUSUKE

Queen: I don’t know what’s going on but please do not microwave eggs.

Skull: i,m tired and hungry nd dont want to actually make food

Skull: also the pans are dirty and i dont want to clean one out rn

Skull: i can take care of the dishes tomorrow after school, rn i just want to eat eggs and play video games to aviud doing homework

Panther: “aviud”

Skull: SHUT

Queen: I’m sorry what is it you’re trying to avoid?


Skull: i mean i want to eat eggs an then do my homewok haha

Queen: Perfect :)

Fox: I sense danger in that smiley face.

Panther: you and me both

Panther: well this has been fun but i’m going to go do my homework before makoto throws down haha

Fox: Good luck with that.

Skull: eggs are done hell yeah

Queen: Good. Now finish eating and do your homework.

Skull: yes maam

Queen: I still don’t like the idea of you eating eggs from the microwave.

Skull: it be that way sometimes

Queen: It shouldn’t be??? Make eggs in a frying pan???

Skull: no u

Queen: What??

Fox: At this point I have learned to stop questioning the insanity. You get used to it.

Queen: Oh. Does this sort of thing happen a lot?

Skull: p much

Fox: Indeed.

Fox: There was an entire conversation about “elf practice” at one point.

Skull: oh yea

Skull: that meme died p quickly

Skull: too bad to i thought it was kinda funny

Queen: How are your microwave eggs?

Skull: they taste like egg

Queen: I would assume so?

Skull: alright time to go play fortnite until i pass out

Queen: Ryuji. Homework.

Skull: that too


July 6th 2017

5:49 am





Joker: Can’t believe I missed Yusuke use the ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ face

Joker: Anyways after school tomorrow we’re going into Mementos. Meet at the hideout tomorrow.


July 7th 2017

9:16 pm




Queen: I have a request.

Joker: Proceed.

Queen: Can we please stop saying “bang a larry” instead of “turn left” while driving in mementos?

Skull: no

Joker: Nope.

Panther: nah

Queen: I still don’t understand why you refer to it as “banging a larry” and “banging a randy.” Why not just say “turn left” or “turn right.”

Joker: Bang a larry is funnier next question.

Queen: It could be so simple. “Turn left.” “Turn right.” That’s it. Why make it so complicated.

Joker: “Bang a l/r” is another way of saying “turn” and it sounds funnier. “Larry” begins with l, like the word left. “Bang a larry” is the same as saying “turn left.” “Randy” begins with r, like the word right. “Bang a randy” is the same as “turn right.” It’s funnier that way.

Skull: we aint changing it

Queen: Fine. Please just don’t let it distract your driving.

Joker: No problem.


July 9th 2017

8:39 am




Joker: Kaneshiro confessed to his crimes and was arrested. Suck my ass Akechi.

Queen: While that is incredible news, need I remind you that we have finals next week?

Joker: Finals are next week. Suck my ass Shujin.

Panther: i don’t want to think about finals

Skull: we should plan a celebration party for makoto

Queen: I would appreciate that but we still have to study for finals.

Joker: Finals are next week and I seek death. Suck my ass Principal No-neck.

Fox: I wish you all good luck. Rest in peace.

Joker: Just one piece? I’d like to think I’d go out in multiple pieces.

Fox: That’s not what I meant?

Skull: its a joke dude. hes messin with u

Fox: I see.

Joker: Anyways Kaneshiro confessed we changed another heart. Case closed let’s get drunk.

Skull: dude

Chapter Text

July 10th 2017

10:53 pm




Joker: Hey uh I’m just saying that Mr. Hiruta is a twink sorry I don’t make the rules.

Skull: dude

Joker: boo.png

Skull: yep.jpg

Panther: whenever-akira-says-anything.png

Joker: Hey Ann?

Panther: yeah?

Joker: Why tf is that named “whenever Akira says anything”?

Panther: because that image describes you

Skull: yeet.png

Joker: Ryuji don’t you dare.

Joker: Put it back.

Skull: :)

Panther: hey @ryobi socialmotorboat

Panther: clink-clink.jpg

Joker: Don’t bring that back.

Skull: wdym

Joker: “Ryobi Socialmotorboat”

Joker: ryobi.gif

Skull: africa kangaroo

Joker: No.

Skull: ant tamagotchi

Panther: i heard my name?

Joker: Stop.

Joker: Ann you used to be so against this wtf.

Panther: i was until i realized that we can use this at your expense

Joker: Uh excuse me?

Panther: yugio kitwater

Skull: yugio kitwater

Joker: Absolutely not.

Panther: we never came up with one for makoto

Skull: u right

Skull: uhhhh

Skull: mascara nimrod

Panther: perfect


Joker: Okay I kind of like that one.

Panther: (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

Joker: Anyways, back to the original topic. Mr. Hiruta is a twink.


Panther: N O

Joker: Have you looked at him? He’s a twink if I’ve ever seen one.

Joker: Actually wait…

Joker: Hold on…

Joker: You know who’s a twink?

Panther: i don’t think i want to know


Joker: Akechi.


Panther: JOKER

Joker: Am I wrong?!

Skull: yep.jpg

Panther: whenever-akira-says-anything.png

Joker: Look at him. He’s such a feminine guy it’s almost unbelievable.

Skull: dude i passed by him in the underground walkway the other day n heard someone call him madam

Joker: PFFT

Panther: he would look really pretty in drag though. i wonder if he would let me do his makeup sometime…

Joker: I thought you hated Akechi?

Panther: i do but he’s still really pretty.

Joker: You right you right.

Skull: dude thats gay

Joker: stfu I’m gay.

Skull: thats..true

Panther: i wonder what skin care products he uses. his skin is so clear

Queen: Sorry to intrude, but need I remind you that you are all in class right now and should be paying attention?

Joker: It’s fine. I’m in the twink’s class and he literally doesn’t give a shit, as long as I’m able to answer the questions he throws at me.

Panther: akira you have ruined this class for me. i can’t even look at mr. hiruta without laughing now.

Joker: Biology was already ruined.

Skull: seriosuly. bio is so effin dumb

Panther: “seriosuly”

Skull: ann. shut.

Queen: That doesn’t change the fact that you should all be paying attention right now. Exams are in a week and this is important information.

Skull: makoto ur on ur phone too u have no right to tlak rn

Panther: “tlak”

Skull: ANN. SHUT.

Panther: your typing is just getting worse and worse. slow down a bit, we can wait for a response.

Skull: ANN. SHUT.

Queen: I’m on my phone to tell the rest of you to get off of your phones. If any of you fail your exams you will have hell to pay.

Skull: i dont like the sound of that…

Panther: sorry makoto!

Joker: I would apologize accept I’m really not.

Skull: whoops™ sorry makoto

Queen: Return to your studies.

Panther: haha sure thing :)

Skull: sorry queen

Joker: I don’t really feel like it.

Queen: Akira.

Queen: Pay attention.

Joker: Depends. If I don’t, will you hit me with your motorcycle?

Queen: If you don’t I will make you wish I had hit you with my motorcycle.

Joker: Hahahaha yep okay sorry Makoto I’ll pay attention and go back to be a Good Boy.

Skull: that sounds kinky???


Queen: Akira. Ryuji. Pay attention. Now.

Skull: yes queen

Joker: Yes Queen.


July 11th 2017

7:12 pm




Skull: im lookin at fireworks festivals. theres one in shibuya 7/18

Queen: While I appreciate that, you should be studying right now.

Skull: consider this motivation

Skull: so? whaddya think? 18th sound good to you?

Queen: I’m fine with that so long as it works for the rest of you.

Joker: That works for me.

Panther: 18th? yep that should be fine

Fox: That should be fine.

Skull: awesome

Queen: The eighteenth works. Now get back to studying.

Skull: fine


July 11th 2017

7:16 pm


Ryuji Sakamoto → Akira Kurusu


RS: hey can u study with me? i cant focus rn

AK: Sure. I could use a study partner.

RS: sweet. believe it or not ive been tryin to study but its such a pain u kno

AK: Yeah, honestly. It’s easier to study with someone.

AK: You want to meet at the diner in Shibuya?

RS: sure thing

AK: Okay I’m heading there now. See you in a few.

RS: yep



 July 13th 2017

3:20 pm




Panther: one of exams and i’m so over all of this. how many more days until the weekend?

Joker: Four. Four more days until the weekend. We need to get through tuesday-saturday. Our last exams are on Friday.

Panther: UGHHH

Skull: i dont know about the rest of u but im going to pass out as soon as i get home

Panther: same

Joker: Same.

Queen: That’s fine. I’m sure you all deserve a nap after a long day. Just remember to try to get some studying in later tonight, okay? We have more exams tomorrow.

Skull: i cant promise that ill be awake until tomorrow morning tho

Joker: Same.

Panther: same

Queen: It’s not even three thirty yet?

Joker: What’s your point.

Queen: That’s over 15 hours of sleep?

Skull: perfect

Queen: What?

Joker: Listen Makoto, we’re mentally exhausted. Not all of us have your capacity for studying and are ready for a nice long depression nap.

Panther: akira you’re always ready for a long depression nap

Joker: Yeah that’s true.

Skull: speaking of depression naps i just got home time for a depression nap

Joker: God I wish that were me right now.

Panther: same

Skull: actually its less of a depresion nap and more of just being brain dead after exams

Fox: I thought you were already brain dead.




Skull: UH RUDE

Panther: it’s like a sixth sense or something

Panther: someone needs to be roasted? well here’s yusuke

Fox: I don’t understand. It was merely a statement.

Joker: Holy fuck this is amazing. I can’t believe I was here to witness the Yusuke “Fox” Kitagawa completely roast Ryuji.

Panther: i’ve been here to witness yusuke roast ryuji before and it is truly a sight to be held. he is ruthless

Joker: I feel so blessed. I can die happy now.

Skull: well eff this im gonna go pass out fuck you guys

Joker: Love you too <3

Queen: I don’t know what’s going on here but please try to get in a little bit of study time before tomorrow. We can’t have any of you failing, can we.

Joker: Yeah. Makoto’s right, guys. If we fail then we’ll just stand out more, and standing out is sort of what we’re trying to avoid right now. After the whole thing with Kaneshiro, the police are going to seriously be cracking down on the Phantom Thief case. We need to lay low and make sure no one suspects us of anything suspicious.

Joker: Well, in my case, they don’t suspect me of anything other than what they already do. I’ve lost track of all the rumors but things finally look like they’re settling down?

Panther: i wouldn’t say settling down. really it never settles down, at the moment they just have other things to focus on other than the school criminal. trust me, i know first hand that it never settles down, at least not for long

Joker: Well shit.

Joker: I’m going to go pull a Ryuji and pass out. Maybe later on if anyone else is awake we can get together and study last minute.

Panther: good idea.


July 14th 2017

6:05 pm




Skull: day 2 is done and im so over this already

Queen: Only a few more days and only a few more exams. Just hang in there.

Skull: my brain is fried makoto. i cant handle a few more days

Queen: Well that’s too bad, now isn’t it. You’re going to have to suck it up and give it your best effort. You can do it.

Skull: i dont kno about that one…

Fox: Are you sure Ryuji’s best effort will be enough.

Skull: HEY

Queen: Probably?




Queen: In the words of Akira, “plead the fifth.”

Panther: wow i can’t believe yusuke has roasted ryuji 2 days in a row

Queen: It has truly been an experience.

Panther: in the words of akira

Panther: “i feel blessed”

Queen: You and me both.

Joker: I just woke up why is everyone quoting me

Panther: scroll up

Joker: oh

Joker: OH

Joker: I’ve never been so proud :’)

Skull: rude


July 15th 2017

5:27 pm




~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to depression nap central ~

Joker: You know I never used to sleep this much.

Joker: Get home after school, do some homework, go to work or see a friend, get home and do more homework. Go out a bit, come back and lock up shop, then go to bed.

Joker: That was the life.

Joker: Remember when I didn’t come home every day and pass out on the couch because I’m too exhausted to walk the five extra steps to my futon?

Joker: Yeah...good times.

Joker: When are exams over again?

Panther: tomorrow thank god

Joker: Fuck.

Joker: Me.

Panther: no thanks :\

Joker: No not you.

Panther: no but i feel that. i used to hang out at the underground mall after school or go see shiho. now all i want to do is sleep…

Panther: my brain has completely shut down for the day

Joker: Same.

Joker: On the bright side, Morgana hasn’t had to yell at me to go to bed for the past few days.

Panther: that’s good

Panther: i like the name change

Joker: Thanks. It represents how I feel.


July 16th 2017

3:32 pm


depression nap central




Joker: Hey. Watch your fucking language. That’s a naughty fucking work.

Skull: heck

Joker: You are on thin fucking ice sir. Watch your goddamn language.

Skull: shoot

Joker: That is a Bad Word Ryuji.

Skull: dang

Joker: That is a Bad Word Ryuji.

Skull: frick


Queen: Asking this question is probably pointless but are you two okay.

Joker: No.

Skull: no

Queen: That’s what I thought… Do we need to call a doctor?

Joker: No.

Skull: no

Queen: Well, at least that’s good sign.

Queen: Do you think you’ll be able to recover before the fireworks festival on Sunday?

Joker: No.

Skull: no

Queen: Will you at least be recovered enough to where you can join us?

Joker: Yep.

Skull: yep

Queen: Wow… I swear, you’re two halves of one person.

Panther: more like two halves of a whole idiot.

Joker: Can’t believe Ann is trying to take Yusuke’s job smh

Skull: it doesnt have the same effect sorry ann

Panther: fuck

Skull: u-tried.png

Joker: Well this has been fun but if you excuse me I’m going to pass out and hopefully wake up just in time before the fireworks festival.

Queen: You are aware we have an entire day of school before this weekend, correct?

Joker: Yes. I am very aware.

Joker: Did I fucking stutter.

Fox: Technically you couldn’t have stuttered seeing as how this is a text conversation.

Skull: there he is

Joker: Thank you Yusuke.

Queen: Need I remind you that we are trying to lay low, and if you skip school you’ll only raise more suspicions.

Joker: Well fuck


July 18th 2017

5:06 pm


depression nap central


Skull: were still meeting at the underground walkway in shibuya right

Queen: Yes.

Skull: alright then where is everyone im by myself rn

Joker: I’m on my way over. I’ll be there soon.

Skull: great

Fox: I’m headed over there now, too.

Skull: alright cool

Panther: Makoto and I are still getting ready. We’ll be there soon.

Skull: k

Joker: Can anyone else sense Ryuji getting more and more frustrated with every text?

Panther: yep

Fox: Indeed.

Skull: maybe i wouldnt be so frustrated if u were actually here on time

Skull: we said 5 its passed 5

Joker: It’s… not even ten minutes past five. I think you’ll be okay. Besides, I’m stepping off the train now, I’ll be there in a minute.

Skull: ty

Joker: So there’s one thing I don’t get.

Skull: yea?

Joker: Why exactly do you want me to go without my glasses?

Panther: change things up a little, you know?

Joker: I..

Joker: I need those to see…

Panther: i think you’ll still be able to see the fireworks without your glasses

Joker: You underestimate my vision.

Panther: is your vision really that bad? In the metaverse you don’t wear glasses

Joker: It’s not horrible but my glasses do help me to see a bit. In the metaverse it's different, idk. 

Skull: its no use arguing with her dude

Joker: Ryuji you literally argue with her all the time you hypocrite.

Panther: he speaks from experience akira

Panther: he’s warning you from one bro to another

Skull: that is not wats happening here

Joker: That still doesn’t explain why you want me to go without my glasses I would much rather be able to see.

Panther: just go with it

Joker: I’m bringing my glasses with me just in case.

Panther: fine

Chapter Text

July 18th 2017

5:12 pm


Yuuki Mishima → Akira Kurusu


YM: hey i saw some disturbing news online.

YM: i don’t know if it’s true or not but it sounds like it’ll be really bad if it turns out to be true.

YM: really bad

AK: What is it?

YM: apparently an insane hacker group is getting prepared to declare war on the phantom thieves.

YM: i was afraid to hold onto that information myself so i figured i should tell you just in case.

YM: that’s all i know right now :\ sorry. if i get more information i’ll let you know asap. sorry to bother you

AK: Interesting… Thanks for letting me know.


July 18th 2018

5:15 pm


The soft brush of Morgana’s tail tickled the side of Akira’s face as the cat peered over his shoulder at Akira’s phone.

“Insane group? What could he mean?” Morgana muttered. “Hmm… Should we tell the others?”

Akira looked up briefly and scanned the two others standing a short distance away. Ryuji, decked in his typical neon muscle shirt, and Yusuke, a fine blue and purple yukata gently upon his form, seemed to be deep in conversation about who knew what. Ann and Makoto had yet to show up, and if Akira had to guess they were hopefully on the train.

The boy shook his head. “We can deal with this later. Right now, let’s just have a good time.”

Morgana’s nose twitched. “Good call. We’ll bring it up when we know more, right now we only have the little information Mishima provided to go off of. This could be prove to be a serious problem if this rumor turns out to be true, though.”

Akira reached up and pat the top of Morgana’s head -- much to his dismay -- and shrugged. “That’s true, but right now we shouldn’t think about that. This would be the wrong time and wrong place to talk about it. Besides, we don’t want to kill the mood. They look like they’re having a good time.”

A slight smile played at Yusuke’s lips and Ryuji let out a laugh, lightly shoving the other boy. Akira didn’t completely understand their friendship. They were polar opposites: Yusuke was cool and collected, level headed while Ryuji was loud and ready to explode at any given minute. Ryuji was a firecracker, while Yusuke was a block of ice. However, when it came to passion...sometimes, they were one in the same. They just expressed it differently.

Ryuji waved a hand over at Akira. “Dude! What are you and Mona mumbling about?”

“We’re talking about how you failed your exams.” Morgana cut in. His words were soaked in sarcasm.

“Sh-shut up! I didn’t fail ‘em, I was just…”


“I was distracted, okay?!”

“Distracted? Is that what you call it?” Yusuke said. He rose a dark eyebrow in amusement, as Ryuji’s face turned red with embarrassment and rage.

“Shut up! Cut me some slack, okay? It was a stressful week and I’m a bad test taker. It just stresses me out, I guess.” Ryuji swiped his forearm across his forehead. “Ugh, it’s so hot. Those girls are way too late.”

Akira mentally chucked at how quick Ryuji was to change the subject, but decided against it. He’d cut him a bit of slack for once.

Yusuke crossed his arms elegantly. “It must be taking time for them to put on their yukata.” He looked the other two up and down before adding “Why aren’t you two wearing one?”

“I don’t got clothes like yukata,” Ryuji groaned. He kicked at the ground with the toe of his blue high tops. “But man, you look way too normal in that thing.”

Yusuke hummed. “People often say that to me.”

“I can hardly blame them.” Akira murmured under his breath. Yusuke was stunning, and his yukata really brought out his eyes. Not to mention, it fit him rather well. Akira couldn’t help but enjoy the view.

Ryuji casted him a weird look but thankfully didn’t comment. Morgana lightly hit the back of Akira’s head with a paw.

At that moment, two girls in yukata -- one in a bright pink one, the other in black -- approached the group. Well, rather, they approached Yusuke.

Pink yukata twirled a lock of her hair around her finger. “Are you going to the fireworks festival?”

Yusuke gave them a suspicious glance. “That’s right.”

“Us too! Want to go together?” Black yukata squealed in a way somewhat similar to that of a pig.

Ryuji elbowed Akira in the side. “Are we getting hit on?!

More like Yusuke’s getting hit on. The leader thought. It left a bitter taste in the back of his throat.

Pink yukata giggled. “Come on, let’s go together.”

Black yukata lightly gripped Yusuke’s bicep. “Do you happen to be a model? You look great in that yukata.” She purred. It made Akira’s blood boil.

Out of the corner of his vision, Akira noticed a slight eye roll come from Yusuke.

“Waitin’ around’s a pain, so can we just go with these chicks.” Ryuji stage whispered. Akira liked Ryuji a lot, after all he was his best bro, but sometimes it was sad how desperate he was. Akira was tempted to hand the other boy a water bottle and tell him to quench his thirst.

Akira barely managed to keep from glaring. “No way.”

“Come on, we’ll apologize to the others later.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes again. “That’s enough.” His voice cut through like a knife.

“Yeah.” Akira slid closer to the artist and wrapped both of his arms around his waist. “He’s already taken. Get lost.”

Pink yukata and black yukata shared a look of concern. “Are… are you serious?” She asked.

Yusuke wrapped his own arm around Akira’s shoulder protectively. “That’s right. Is there a problem?”

“No. No problem!” Black yukata squeaked. She whispered something to her friend, and pink yukata nodded.

Akira’s heart thudded harshly against his chest as Yusuke pulled him closer. His own heartbeat echoed softly in Akira’s ear. Akira’s breath hitched, and the smell of lavender hand soap and body wash greeted him. He could only pray that on the outside he looked more calm.

“Either way, you’re disgracing your yukata. You should be more aware of your womanhood.” Yusuke lectured. The two girls turned to face each other, then scurried off.

Ryuji gasped. “How could you?!” Once again, Akira was tempted to throw his water bottle at Ryuji’s face. Sometimes, Akira thought Ryuji was going to die of dehydration.

“Why don’t you go after them, then?” A familiar voice hissed. Ann.

Ann approached the group in a baby blue yukata, Makoto trailing after her.

Makoto made a disappointed noise. “So those are the kinds of girls you like, Ryuji.”

Ryujo gawked. “U-uh, well, that’s uh --”

Makoto raised up a hand to cut him off. Ann tossed one of her pigtails over her shoulder and spoke out to no one in particular. “You know, Yusuke is such a pretty boy but he’s really missing out on all these girls because of what he says.”

“I guess, but he’s more likeable since he stays true to his ideals.” Makoto protested. She sent a glare sharp enough to kill in Ryuji’s direction. “Unlike someone I know.”

“I’m not exactly, ‘interested’ in females, to put it lightly.” Yusuke replied nonchalauntly. A bolt of lightning shot down Akira’s back, as if someone had cast zio on him.

Ann widened her eyes, and Makoto whispered something to her.

Morgana snickered. “I heard that Ryuji’s pretty much failed his exams.”

Queen slowly turned her attention to said boy. "Oh?" Her brows furrowed in disappointment. All in all, it was almost like a bad soap opera.

Ryuji growled. “Mona, you little --”

"Hey. It’s gonna get crowded if we don’t get going.” Ann cut in.

Yusuke nodded. “Agreed.”

Akira became painfully aware of the fact that Yusuke’s arm was still around him. He bit the inside of his cheek and let his own hand fall away from the artist. “Let’s go.”

Yusuke moved his arm, and Akira bit back a childish whine.

Maybe the fireworks festival wouldn’t be so bad…


July 18th 2017

5:39 pm


Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu


AT: you and yusuke seemed to be rather close there

AK: Some girls were hitting on him and couldn’t take a hint. I stepped in to get them to fuck off. It’s really not that big of a deal.

AT: i dunno he seemed pretty content with his arm around you like that

AK: It really isn’t like that.

AK: Ann you are literally five feet away from me why are you texting me?

AT: i didn’t want to say anything in front of the others

AK: Fair enough.

AT: so

AK: So?

AT: you sure held on longer than someone who was “just stepping in” would in that situation

AT: normally someone would let go after the two girls left

AK: Seriously it’s not like that. I was just trying to help him out.

AK: Besides I doubt he’s interested in guys anyway.

AT: akira. literally ten minutes ago he said he wasn’t into girls.

AT: were you even listening to him? or were you too busy trying to control your hard on

AK: Stop.

AT: i’m just saying.

AT: he said, and i quote, that he’s “not really interested in females”

AK: Okay even if he was interested in guys, which we don’t exactly have confirmation on, what makes you think he’s interested in me?

AT: 1.) akira. not interested in girls. you’re smart. do the math.

AT: 2.) he seemed content with his arm around you like that. that isn’t exactly a thing most “bros” do.

AK: He probably just forgot it was there.

AT: okay akira let me put it this way. would you wrap your arm around ryuji that way?

AK: No. He’s my best friend, Ann. That would be weird.

AT: and yet you talk about shit like your porn preferences with him?

AK: What?! How do you know about that??

AT: it’s ryuji we’re talking about. he’s such a loud mouth, you really think i wouldn’t hear him?

AT: besides, we sit together at lunch. i overheard the conversation

AK: Fuck.

AT: either way quit changing the subject.

AK: You’re the one who brought up porn.

AT: shut up

AT: okay so you wouldn’t cuddle ryuji like that. why would you do that to yusuke but not ryuji?

AK: Are you really putting me in this box right now?

AK: Because Yusuke is… different. I can’t explain it.

AK: I don’t want to talk about this right now.

AT: okay fine

AT: i’m just saying

AK: I know what you’re saying. Just leave it alone for now.

AT: okay


July 18th 2017

9:03 pm


An array of beautiful, brightly colored fireworks shot across the night sky, overlooking the ocean. Some of them were a bit blurry without his glasses to see, but that was fine. Akira knew what was happening, and he supposed he didn’t have to be able to see perfectly when it came to fireworks. If he was being completely honest, he still did not know what the point in him coming without his glasses were, but it made Ann and them happy so might as well just go with it.

A soft pressure tapped against his shoulder. He turned his head slightly and his eyes met Yusuke. He signalled off towards the crowd in some direction. “I’m not sure if you can see them, but I just noticed the girls from the train station earlier.” His breath tickled the shell of Akira’s ear. “I don’t believe they were fully convinced we’re an item.”

Sure enough, off in the distance Akira barely spotted the carnation pink and pitch black yukatas of the two girls. He couldn’t help the dumb grin that pulled itself onto his face. “Guess we’ll just have to prove it.” He held out a hand, and Yusuke took it in his. Akira’s stomach crawled into his throat.

The fireworks were truly beautiful. They were brightly colored paint splatters across the canvas of the night. He couldn’t help but wonder if it was possible to capture a moment like this on paper. Sure, any artist could paint the scene. Crowds of people in the streets, streaks of color in the sky, blue ocean full of mystery and wonder. Multiple people had definitely painted scenes similar in the past. However, was it possible to capture every emotion that went with it?

Could anyone capture the excitement and childlike bickering between Ann and Ryuji about frivolous topics, or the slight motherly amusement from Makoto? Or what about Morgana’s snickers and commentary towards Ryuji’s moronic actions? Or what about the sharp pain in Akira’s chest cavity when Yusuke gently squeezed his hand, or the strange desire and excitement that shot through him when he rested his head on Yusuke’s shoulder, or the butterflies in the pit of his stomach that squirmed with every breath Yusuke took?

Something splashed against Akira’s cheek. With his free hand, he wiped his face off, only for it to be followed by another splash. Was it..raining?

Morgana ducked into Akira’s leather messenger bag. Lucky bastard.

Slowly but surely, the rain began to pick up. Damn it,

Bolts of lightning ran through the sky, followed by claps of thunder loud enough to cancel out the fireworks. One by one, the colors began to disappear.

Akira picked his head up off of Yusuke’s shoulder and began to walk with the rest of the crowd, his fingers still entwined with the other boy’s. He made no move to take his hand away. The rest of the group followed.

Somehow, they found their way under a seven-eleven doorway. Ann, who had been wringing out the water on her yukata, yelled at Ryuji to buy her a towel after catching him staring at her. Makoto pressed a finger to her forehead in exhaustion.

“Well this sucks,” Akira mumbled. “All this excitement, and the festival gets rained out.”

“It really is unfortunate.” Yusuke said with a headshake. Finally, much to Akira’s dismay, he took his hand away and ran it through his damp blue hair. A sleek black car drove slowly past the group, almost as if they were rubbing it in their faces.

“Son of a bitch…” Akira hissed. “We should try to get back to the train station soon, but for now let’s head inside for shelter.”

Ann nodded, and Ryuji tugged open the gas station door. The group piled in.

The isles were filled with people in yukatas who, most likely, had the same idea as them.

“What’s up?” Ann asked Makoto, who had been spacing out.

Makoto’s brows knit together. “I think I just saw someone I know…”

“You mean the girl in the black car?”

“At least she’s got a ride..” Ryuji grumbled, expressing what everyone else had been thinking.

“Hey, look on the bright side.” Akira said. “Maybe this will finally quench Ryuji’s thirst.”


Ann shook her head, her pigtails swinging with her. “I doubt it. No water in the world can cure his thirst.” She sighed, and crossed her arms over her chest. “My feet hurt, it’s cold, the festival’s been cancelled… this sucks.”

Ryuji, who pointedly chose to ignore Ann’s first comment, lightly rubbed the back of his neck. “We made such a commotion with the public, and this is what we get? Lame. Aren’t heroes that lurk in the shadows boring?”

Akira shrugged. “I like the shade.”

“What are you, moss? I wanna change the world with a loud bang, like a firework.” The boy complained loudly. Perhaps he had a point. “...Then again, we aren’t going to find someone bigger than Kaneshiro that easily.”

The comment reminded Akira of Mishima’s texts from earlier. Right… some hacker group. He couldn’t help but wonder where Mishima got that information from. And which group? Strange…

“The rain is letting up for now. Though it’s regrettable, we should go our separate ways for today.” Yusuke interrupted. Sure enough, the rain had calmed down a bit in the meantime.

“Yeah. Let’s go home.” Morgana said, peeking his head out of the leather messenger bag. At least he wasn’t dripping wet.

Akira nodded, and said farewell to his friends, then headed off in the direction of the train station.


July 18th 2017

10:19 pm


Ryuji Sakamoto → Akira Kurusu


RS: hey dude i have a question for ya

RS: u dont have to answer if u dont wanna

AK: Okay. Shoot?

RS: so uhhh wat was with the hand holding at the festival?

AK: What?

RS: u and yusuke were holdin hands while watchin the fireworks. it really wasnt subtle

AK: Oh yeah. That.

AK: He saw the girls from the train station and we thought it best to make sure they really did think we were together.

RS: ok then why were u still holdin hands when we got to 7/11. idk about u but i didnt see the girls there

AK: Oh that?

AK: It’s no big deal.

RS: nd whyd you step in at the train station when he was gettin hit on? he woulda been able to handle it himself i think

AK: Better safe than sorry. He seemed a bit uncomfortable so I figured if I stepped in they would go away faster.

RS: hey one more question. again u dont have to answer if u dont want to

AK: Okay?

RS: are u and yusuke a thing?

AK: What?

RS: u know,,,are u together? boyfriends and all that

AK: No, we’re not together. Why?

RS: it just seemed like it a little at the fireworks festival thats all. nbd

AK: We’re not an item. As far as I know, he’s single but I could be wrong. I haven’t really asked him.

RS: sorry but one more question

AK: Sure.

RS: do u like him??

AK: Huh? What gave you that impression?

RS: u just seemed real into him. i’ve seen u flirt with him a bit in the past nd thats cool but back there u seemed seriously into him i guess? like u were harboring some sort of feelings there?

RS: its cool if u do man idc just as long as ur happy i guess

AK: Honestly?

AK: I don’t know how I feel.

RS: wat do u mean?

AK: I don’t want to talk about it right now. Sorry, it’s nothing personal.

RS: nah i get it. ill stop asking questions

AK: Thanks bro.


July 19th 2017

7:09 am


depression nap central


Skull: im assumin u guys say wat was on the news last night?

Joker: Yep.

Panther: yeah

Fox: Yes.

Queen: Yeah..

Joker: Medjed just fucking called us out. “False justice” my ass. You think Akechi runs the Medjed website?

Panther: didn’t they have akechi in that interview?

Joker: Yeah. Relax, it was a joke.

Skull: well shit

Fox: I suppose we’ll just have to wait and see what happens next. For all we know, this might not be that big a deal.

Joker: At the same time, this could also be a huge deal.

Joker: Actually, that reminds me… there was something Mishima said to me yesterday that I should mention. I didn’t say anything at the festival because it didn’t seem like that big of a deal, and we’re still lacking information.

Queen: And that is?

Joker: Yesterday he texted me and said there’s a rumor that a hacker group was going to declare war on the Phantom Thieves. He told me that that was all he knew about the situation and would keep me updated. Morgana and I thought it would be best not to say anything to avoid bringing down the mood.

Joker: Perhaps I should have said something sooner. I apologize for that, but I couldn’t find the right time.

Fox: At least you’re bringing it up now, but it would have been nice to have heard in advance.

Joker: I’m aware of that now. I’m sorry.

Queen: Hmm… a hacker group? He was right. Medjed is a famous, anonymous, hacker group. What could they possibly want with us?

Joker: Guess we’ll have to wait and see


July 20th 2017

1:07 pm


Anonymous → Akira Kurusu


Anon: Nice to meet you.

Anon: I am the one they call Alibaba.

Anon: I want to ask you something.

Anon: You’re a phantom thief, aren’t you?

Anon: Can you really steal hearts?

Anon: There is someone whose heart I would like you to steal.

Anon: I’m not asking for charity. Let’s make a deal.

Anon: You wish to know about Medjed, correct?

Anon: I can give you information on them if the change of heart is successful.

Anon: If you so desire, I can take care of them as well.

Anon: Do you believe in my skills?

Anon: I can track down their accounts, just as I have with yours.

Anon: But this is all I can prove at the moment.

Anon: I’ve prepared the necessary tool on my end.

Anon: Look forward to it.


July 20th 2017

1:10 pm


depression nap central


Joker: Is one of you fucking with me?

Panther: huh?

Joker: Whoever’s doing it, it’s not funny.

Queen: What are you talking about?

Joker: stop.img

Joker: Is this one of you?

Joker: Ryuji??

Skull: why r u targeting me?? no that aint me

Joker: Is that one of you?

Panther: it’s not me.

Fox: I did not do it either.

Queen: I would never do that.

Joker: So this might be real…

Joker: Everyone meet at the hideout after school. If this is a joke, it’s not funny. If this is real, we have to seriously talk about this.


July 21st 2017

1:48 am


Anonymous → Akira Kurusu


Anon: Good day.

AK: Who are you?

Anon: Ah, you responded today.

Anon: Once again, I am Alibaba.

Anon: You are the leader of the Phantom Thieves, correct?

AK: That’s right.

Anon: Mm I appreciate your honesty.

Anon: I take it you received the calling card?

Anon: Are you at school right now?

AK: I’m in class.

Anon: Hmm, you’re a surprisingly diligent student.

Anon: Now then, I have prepared the calling card for you.

Anon: When are you going to steal it?

AK: What are you talking about?

Anon: Stealing a heart, of course.

Anon: Aren’t you able to steal a heart as long as you have a calling card?

AK: I need a full name.

Anon: ...A name? Is your heart thievery truly impossible without such information?

AK: That’s right. We can’t steal a heart without a name.

Anon: ...I see.

Anon: I suppose past calling cards did have names on them…

Anon: One moment.

AK: Take your time.

Anon: Very well, I’ll tell you.

Anon: I believe their name was… Futaba Sakura.

Anon: If you fail this mission, I will expose your identity to the world and to the police.

Anon: Well then, I’ll be counting on you. We shall speak again after the change of heart.


July 21st 2017

1:54 pm


depression nap central


Joker: alibaba.img

Joker: Meet at the hideout after school. We have some more we have to discuss.

Chapter Text

July 22nd 2017

10:17 pm


depression nap central


Joker: I looked around Yongen and asked about Futaba. No one seems to know anything. It’s almost like she doesn’t exist. Almost .

Queen: Did you ask Boss about Futaba?

Joker: Sorta. It was… weird.

Queen: What do you mean?

Joker: When I got there, someone was already in Leblanc. They were grilling him about something, threatening to revoke his “custody” and something about “cognitive science?” Sojiro wasn’t in a good mood after the encounter, and the woman left shortly after I got there.

Joker: I asked about it and he told me it was none of my business. Then I asked who Futaba Sakura is and he threatened to kick me out…

Queen: Did he say anything besides that?

Joker: Yeah, actually. He said “how do you know about that” and then basically shut it down, saying it’s none of my concern.

Queen: He’s clearly not telling you something. If he asked how you knew about Futaba, then he’s obviously withholding information.

Joker: That’s what I’m thinking, but I’m afraid to press him for answers. He could very well kick me out if I’m not careful, and in case you’re not aware Leblanc is kind of my only place to go right now. We can meet up at the hideout tomorrow and discuss it more in detail, but for right now I don’t have the energy to deal with this tonight.

Queen: That’s fair. Well, get some rest. We can take about this tomorrow after school and figure it out from there.

Joker: Okay. I’ll remind everyone tomorrow morning about the meeting. We have to talk about where we’re going to go from here.


July 23rd 2017

4:17 pm


Makoto’s eyebrows knit together and she placed a hand under her chin in consideration. “Hmm… a woman was threatening Boss?”

Akira had given the group a quick run down about the events that had occured the previous night. In attempt to figure out more about this “Futaba Sakura” he has asked around Yongen to see if anyone knew anything. After all, if she was related to Sojiro it seemed only natural that someone would know something about the mysterious Futaba. However, the only thing that had turned up was that Sojiro seemed to buy more groceries then necessary for one person. Perhaps it was some sort of a sign, or maybe Akira was just looking too much into it. Unfortunately, other than that, no one had known anything.

When he had gotten back to Leblanc, however, a woman with long silver hair and piercing eyes had been standing at the counter talking to Sojiro. No, not talking. More like interrogating. Akira had only been there to catch the very end. She had mentioned “cognitive science” and revoking Sojiro’s “custody.” What he had custody of, however, was unknown. Whatever had transpired had obviously soured the mood. Asking Sojiro about Futaba probably had not been the best idea at the given moment, but Akira had not had much of a choice. They were pressed for time, and the sooner they learned information about Futaba the better.

Morgana propped his paws on Akira’s shoulder and nodded once. “Yeah. She was going on about domestic abuse and ‘taking the case to court’ and such.”

Makoto made a slight noise and averted her gaze. Ryuji raised an eyebrow in her general vicinity. “Uh… What’s up?”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing.” Hesitation played at her voice, but no one pressed the issue further. They had other problems to focus on. She turned her attention back to Akira. “So to summarize what you told us, Futaba is Boss’s daughter and he’s abusing her?”

“From what we gathered, yes, but there’s likely more to it than that.” Akira stated. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Makoto kicked the ground with the toe of her shoe. “I don’t know him very well. Is he really the type of person who would do that?”

“Honestly? I don’t know.” Akira sighed. “He doesn’t seem like the type of person who would do that, and he has never done anything to me personally, but we can’t say for sure. At one point, Madarame seemed like a genuinely nice person and a great artist, not the type of person who would emotionally abuse and destroy the lives of his students. Uh, sorry, Yusuke. Was that too far?” The last part was directed at Yusuke, who was leaning against one of the walls.

He shook his head. “No, you’re completely right. It doesn’t matter what type of person Boss seems to be. We do not have any solid evidence of abuse. However, it’s… best to be on the defensive.”

At that moment, Akira’s phone chirped from his back pocket, that soft “pi pi pi” noise it made whenever he received a text. Cautiously, he removed it from his back pocket.


July 23rd 2017

4:20 pm


Anonymous → Akira Kurusu


Anon: I’ve given you the calling card and told you the target’s name. You should be ready for this.

Anon: Why aren’t you doing it?

Anon: I told you I’d help if you stole her heart. What seems to be the hold up?

Anon: I also said I would report your identity to the police if you didn’t help me.

Anon: Are you okay with that? I’m serious here.

AK: Tell me her keywords.

Anon: Keywords?

Anon: What are you talking about?

Anon: Are you just saying random stuff to dodge the issue?


July 23rd 2017

4:21 pm


“What are we supposed to do about this?” Ann grumbled.

Morgana tapped one of his paws on Akira’s shoulder. “We’d be able to figure out Alibaba’s identity if we could just meet with him. Try asking if there’s anyway we could meet up.”


July 23rd 2017

4:22 pm


Akira Kurusu→ Anonymous


AK: Let’s meet somewhere.

Anon: Meet? With me?

Anon: That will be… difficult.

Anon: I have… reasons… for not being able to go out.

Anon: That’s why I’m contacting you like this.

Anon: Wait. I get it.

Anon: You steal people’s hearts directly… That might make things difficult.

Anon: Extremely difficult.

Anon: Hold on…

Anon: I’m thinking…

Anon: Okay. It’s a shame, but I’m calling off our deal. Stop looking into Futaba Sakura. Forget this ever happened. I won’t report you to the police, either, so don’t worry.

Anon: Sorry for taking your time. Now if you’ll excuse me…

AK: Who are you?

Anon: I said the deal’s off.

Anon: We’re never going to speak again. Don’t expect me to contact you anymore, either.

AK: We’re not done here.**


July 23rd 2017

4:25 pm


“Fuck.” Akira cussed under his breath, staring down at his phone screen. At some point, the others had all gathered around him and had been reading over his shoulder.

Ann’s eyes widened. “Huh..? Did he just shut down the whole operation?” She twirled the end of one of her pigtails around her finger. A nervous tic of hers, he presumed.

Morgana made a noise somewhere between a growl and a sigh. “This doesn’t make any sense. Not only can Alibaba not go out, but he won’t let us meet Futaba either?”

Ryuji clenched and unclenched his fists, presumably also a nervous tic, or maybe something to help with his frustration. “Well, it’s none of our business now. We can’t contact him.”

“But… what do we do about Medjed? We won’t be able to get Alibaba to help us with them now.” Ann whined. She was right, and perhaps the only person in the group willing to bring up the subject. Akira hadn’t said anything about it for a reason. At least she was brave enough to say what they were all thinking.

“Maybe they were just prankin’ us?” Ryuji said with a carefree shrug. “They made that huge declaration, but they ain’t done nothing since. I bet we got ‘em freaked out.”

“You mean they backed out because they’re afraid we’ll change their hearts?” Morgana chirped from where he sat in Akira’s messenger bag.

“Yup. And now it’d just make ‘em look lame if they came out and apologized.”

“But--” Makoto started. However, Ryuji cut her off.

“I guess with Alibaba and Medjed out of the picture, can we just say this case is closed?”

Makoto sighed and took a moment to compose herself. “...You do have a point. I guess it is safe for us to relax a little.”

No one addressed the obvious elephant in the room. It would be nice to just relax and not have to worry about Medjed or their next target or being handed over to the police, just for a little while. It seemed obvious to Akira that there was something wrong with Ryuji’s theory about it all being a prank, but he could bring up his concerns another time. If it came down to it and they had to act, they would figure it out. For the time being, however, they had nothing to go off of except for one announcement made by an anonymous hacker group. They’d just have to wait and see what happened next.

“Oh yeah, remember Kaneshiro’s treasure?” Ryuji asked, a sudden ecstacy hidden in his voice. “Prepare to have your minds blown. We got one hundred and fifty thousand yen out of it!”

Ann practically let out a squeal of delight that she would go on later to deny. “That’s awesome! We can really go all out with that kind of money!”

Ryuji laughed and rested his arm on her shoulder. “Yeah! Let’s make up for what happened at the fireworks festival. We gotta go eat something fittin’ for the Phantom Thieves world wide debut!”

Akira put his finger to his lips and shushed. “Not so loud, would you? There’s other people here.” Part of him regretted picking the underground walkway for their secret hideout, given that it was in public and other people could see them. However, he elected to ignore that part of him.

“Hmm… where would be good?” Ann whispered excitedly to herself.”

“How about sushi?” Ryuji suggested.

Morgana gasped. “I’m all for sushi! You’re okay with that too, right Akira?”

The leader shrugged. He didn’t see why they couldn't go out and have some fun. “Fine with me as long as the rest of you are on board.”

“Alright, then it’s decided!”

“We’ll go tomorrow night.” Ryuji stated. “We can plan out a time and everything later, okay?


July 23rd 2017

11:47 pm


depression nap central


Skull: wats the meaning of life

Joker: Ryuji are you high?

Skull: no i wish

Joker: God same.

Joker: The meaning of life is curry.

Skull: curry? dude are u high??

Joker: No, curry is just really good. Sojiro makes the best curry.

Skull: u right

Panther: hey question

Panther: have you two ever heard of a thing called a proper sleep schedule??

Skull: sleep??

Joker: Schedule??

Skull: nope dont kno her

Joker: Never heard of it.

Panther: didn’t think so

Panther: do me a huge favor and take this to a dm. unlike you two i need to sleep

Joker: Fine

Skull: ok

Panther: thank you


July 24th 2017

8:32 pm


The sushi had been incredible. Aside from Ryuji almost letting it slip that they were the Phantom Thieves again , overall it had been a great experience. The rest of the sushi had been wrapped up for later on. The group started back towards the subway.

“Oh! Niijima-san!”

The call of a very familiar voice caught the attention of the group.

Akira turned around, only to be met with the face of the second coming of the Detective Prince, Goro Akechi.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was pleasant and welcoming, as per usual. Welcoming in a way that sent shivers up Akira’s spine.

“Oh, Akechi-kun,” Makoto offered a warm yet surprised smile.

“Akechi…?” Ryuji growled. Akira put his hand on the his shoulder in attempt to keep him calm. Ryuji’s temper was a time bomb, constantly ticking. He was constantly on the verge of blowing up and when he did, he wasn’t afraid to take down anything in his path. It was a constant gamble, being with Ryuji.

Akechi turned his attention to the Akira, Ann and Ryuji, realization dawning on his face. “You’re the ones from the tv station. Are you friends of Niijima-san?”

“Do you know this guy?” Yusuke asked politely. Right, he hadn’t been on the field trip when they met Akechi.

“It’s nice to meet you. My name is Akechi,” The detective greeted Yusuke. “Glad to make your acquaintance, Yusuke Kitagawa.”

“How do you know my name…?” Yusuke’s words were coated in concern.

“You’re a former pupil of Madarame, correct?”

Right. Madarame had been a famous artist. Perhaps it was no surprise that Yusuke’s name had spread a bit, too, having once worked with Madarame.

Akechi continued. “I have actually just recently joined the investigation team looking into the Phantom Thieves. Did you see that Medjed has declared war on them?”

Ryuji stepped in, brushing Akira’s hand away from him. “War…?”

“Their website was updated just a moment ago.” Akechi pinched the bridge of his nose, as if just the thought of it gave him a headache. Well, that made two of them.

“For real?!” Ryuji snatched his phone out of his back pocket and powered it on, fumbling with it for a moment. “Dammit, it’s in english.”

Ann sighed and removed her pink cased phone from her back pocket. “Hold on, let me see it.” Having someone on the team who was bilingual was really helpful sometimes. She scanned the screen, before gasping. “Wait, what?!”

Ryuji looked over her shoulder. “What’s it say?”

“Um…” The girl paused a moment, as if taking a moment to translate it in her head.

Akechi raised an eyebrow. “Hm? Why do you seem so agitated?”

“Oh, uh…” Ann bit her lip, racking her brain for an answer.

Thankfully, Ryuji stepped in for her. “She’s a huge fan of the Phantom Thieves. Total nutjob for ‘em.”

Akechi crossed his arms thoughtfully. “I don’t know how wise it is to be a fan of groups like them.”

A sharp, threatening glare flashed across Makoto’s face. If looks could kill, they would all be dead. “What is with these comments?” Her words cut through the tense atmosphere, like a knife.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to butt into your conversation.” Akechi said with a thoughtful smile. Akira couldn’t help but wonder how he was able to smile for so long. Didn’t it get exhausting, pretending to be happy all the time? Or maybe Akechi wasn’t pretending… it was hard to say. “I must say, though, this is an interesting group. Prosecutor Niijima’s sister, an ex pupil of Madarame, and a few Shujin Academy students. It seems you’re all connected to the Phantom Thieves. Perhaps you have better intel than I do.”

Dammit, Akira thought to himself. Of course he was able to deduce that.

“Ah, yes. I wanted to ask you something.” Akechi stated. “Regarding this whole Medjed commotion, if you were one of the Phantom Thieves what would you do?” The question was directed towards Akira.

Akira shrugged carelessly. “Retaliate, I guess.” He could feel other’s eyes staring in disappointment. Hey, Akechi didn’t know who they were. Akira had to make it seem believable.

“So you share the majority’s opinion.” Akechi noted to no one in particular.

At that moment, Ryuji chose to interrupt. “Sorry to disappoint, but we’re just normal high school kids. If anything, we wanna hear what you gotta say Mr. Detective.” Somehow, he managed to stay level headed. His disgust, on the other hand, was obvious.

Akechi considered this, most likely debating how much he could or could not say. “My profiling has lead me to believe the Phantom Thieves are a group of juveniles.” That wasn’t too far off. At least two of them were considered “delinquents” and as far as Akira could tell, they were all considered outcasts. “They have a relative amount of freetime after school, and a hideout they can slip away to.” Okay that was one pretty close. Akira couldn’t speak for the others, but he had some time after school. Usually his schedule didn’t free up until the evening, however. As for the hideout, well… he wasn’t exactly sure they could call it a “hideout.” “Furthermore, considering Kamoshida was their first target, it seems they began activity around April.” That one was rather self explanatory. “...In a way, all I’ve said about the Phantom Thieves coincides with the group you have here.”


Akira’s stomach dropped. Had Akechi figured them out? No, there was no way. He was just making a deduction.

“What, you gonna report us?” Ryuji snarled. His words dripped with venom.

“I didn’t say I was being suspicious of you.” The detective responded with a sly smile.

Akira put his hands in his jean pockets and with a single tone said “Ryuji’s a Phantom Thief.”

Ryuji stood straight up. “M-me?! You’re sidin’ with him?!”

Akechi chucked, brushing off the accusation. “I wasn’t anticipating that response. You always find a way to rise above my expectations. You really are an intriguing one. I lack your calm mannerisms, but don’t you think my deduction is an interesting one? I bet we’d make a great team if we worked together.”

“What?! The hell’re you saying?!” There it was. Ryuji’s explosion.

Akechi took a couple steps towards Akira. “I’m curious to hear what you have to say. You seem to be a wealth of information.” He turned his attention back to the group as a whole. “Well, this has been a valuable point of reference for me. I hope to see you all again?”

He gave them a friendly wave before stalking off.


July 23rd 2017

8:37 pm


“What was that about?” Ann stage whispered. A mask of disgust and annoyance spread across her face.

“You think he’s ascertained our true identities?” Yusuke said. Leave it to him to raise the question they were all thinking.

The encounter overall had left a bad taste, overall. Akechi was complex, and behind that fake smile and dumb jokes, there was clearly something more to him. While Akira wanted to avoid him, at the same time he wanted to figure out just how much the detective knew and wasn’t letting on.

Ryuji took his bottom lip between his teeth before releasing. “Couldn't be. Right?” His voice shook.

Makoto placed her hand on her chin thoughtfully. “I’d like to say that it’s simply us overthinking it, but…” Whatever she was going to say next got cut off. She shook her head. “It may be best to be cautious from now on. We shouldn’t forget that Alibaba was able to discover who we are.”

Yusuke sighed. “True, but it’s not as though he had tangible evidence to prove that discovery.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Just keep acting normally.”

Ann held out her phone. “More importantly, things are getting serious with Medjed. Here, I’ll read what they said.”

Akira looked over her shoulder at her phone. He didn’t know much english, but was able to make out a few words.

The girl scanned it a bit, most likely running a few mental translations. It couldn’t be easy to consistently decipher between English and Japanese -- supposedly two of the hardest languages to learn. “‘We are disappointed in the people of Japan and their belief in the Phantom Thieves’ false justice. Hence, we shall proceed with our plan to cleanse Japan. This process will commence on August twenty first. As a result, the Japanese economy shall suffer devastating damages.”

Ryuji hung his head in his hands and muttered a disheartened “for real?”

“Keep going.” Makoto said.

Ann kept reading. “‘However, we are magnanimous. We will give the Phantom Thieves one final opportunity to repent. As proof of this repentance, we demand that they reveal their identities to the public. We will attack if these demands remain unmet. The future of Japan rests with the Phantom Thieves. We are Medjed. We are unseen. We will eliminate evil.’ That’s what it says.”

Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest. “So in other words, if we don’t unmask ourselves, Medjed will attack Japan, correct? Seems they are quite the attention seekers.”

“If only we could get in contact with Alibaba…” Makoto whispered. She twirled a silver bracelet she had around her wrist.

Akira gnawed on his bottom lip. Somehow, he wasn’t surprised about the current situation. It felt too good to be true. “Just a prank,” yeah right. At least the sushi had been good. The break had been fun while it lasted, but when it came down to it, somehow trouble always seemed to find their way to the Phantom Thieves. Between Makoto finding them out and Alibaba and Medjed, somehow they always found themselves in situations like this.

Ryuji scratched the back of his head. “Our only clues are Boss and Futaba,” he hissed out. “Anyways, it’s too damn hot out here. Why don’t we go to Leblanc? We can talk more there.”

Akira nodded. “Good idea. Besides, at least there, there’s no chance someone will overhear us.”


July 24th 2017

8:56 pm


“It looks like we got no choice but to ask for Alibaba’s help.” Ryuji sighed. He leaned against the counter of the shop, with a face like he had taken a bite out of a lemon.

Ann slung one arm over the back of one of the booths. Her legs were crossed delicately over each other. She sighed. “Question is, how do we get in touch with him?”

“He cut off all contact with us after that misunderstanding. Then again, if we manage to steal Futaba’s heart, he may attempt to reach out to us once more.” Yusuke replied calmly.. Akira didn’t understand how he managed to remain so cool and level headed in this situation.

Morgana leapt out of Akira’s bag and onto the counter. “We don’t have any clues on what her keywords are.”

Ryuji knocked his fist against the counter. “Dammit, Alibaba. Where the hell are you.” Frustration was written all over him. Between his clenched fists and knit eyebrows, and the shimmer of pure rebellion in his eyes, the frustration and anger was very apparent. When it came down to it, Ryuji was the most likely to express his emotions. In a way, Akira couldn’t help but envy that.

Realization dawned on Makoto. She crossed her hands in front of her delicately, and her eyes widened. If it were a cartoon, one would have been able to see the light bulb over her head. “Actually, he may be closer than we think. Hypothetically speaking, even if we stole Futaba’s heart, how would Alibaba know that the deed has been done? Would he truly be able to discern that just from text messages?”

The six of them all shared looks, some of confusion and some of surprise.

Morgana spoke up first. “You mean he’d have to meet her in person?”

Makoto nodded once. “Alibaba was able to deliver the calling card here. On top of that, he can check on Futaba’s condition. However, according to the circumstances he put forth, he’s unable to meet with us. This leads me to believe that it would be bad for him if we were to see the two of them together. It seems to me that Alibaba may in fact be Futaba herself.”

“For real?!” Ryuji exclaimed. Seriously, how many times did he say “for real?” One could make a drinking game out of it.

Yusuke tucked a strand of blue hair behind his ear. “So she’s asking that we steal her own heart…?”

“Maybe she wants us to save her from the scars of her abuse? I mean, that would be hard to ask for directly.” Ann offered. Somehow, that didn’t seem quite right.

Makoto pursed her lips, picking her next words carefully. “I’d like to meet with Boss. He lives nearby, right?”

Akira considered this for a moment. Would this be okay? After all, there were still several loose ends and indefinite possibilities. He wanted to believe Makoto, and the concerns she had raised made sense, yet however she was going off of hypotheticals. It seemed plausible that Alibaba was in fact Futaba, but on the off chance he wasn’t…

Fuck it. He decided. It was worth the risk. “I know where his house is.”

“It’s real late though. What’re we gonna tell boss when we get there?” Ryuji asked. Good question…

Makoto thought for a moment. “We’ll say that this take-out sushi is a gift for him.”

“But my fatty tuna…” Morgana protested.

Akira pat him on the head, much to his dismay. “Sometimes sacrifices have to be made.”

Ann wagged a finger at him like a scolding teacher. “No complaining, Morgana.”

The cat grumbled in protest, but other than that said nothing.

“Let’s all go together.” Makoto suggested. “Boss may get the wrong idea if Akira and I were to show up alone.”

Right… When Makoto had been introduced to the group, Sojiro had thought that maybe something had been going on between her and Akira. Not that Makoto wasn’t a nice person and everything, but she just wasn’t his type. Somehow, he suspected that he wasn’t the type of person she was looking for either. Although, that would be pretty funny. The student council president dating the school criminal? That’d be one hell of a story.

Akira nodded in agreement. “Let’s go.”

Chapter Text

July 23rd 2017

9:02 pm


Three rings.

The doorbell had been rung three times, and yet somehow no one had come to the door.

Makoto shook her head in disappointment. “No one is answering, but the lights are on.” That was true. A couple of the windows looked into rooms that were still brightly lit.

Ryuji shrugged in response. “Maybe he’s nappin’?” He suggested.

“Even Boss would have woken up with how many times we’ve rung the doorbell.” Ann claimed in disgust. Somehow, Akira doubted that. Some people could sleep through just about anything.

Morgana poked his head out from Akira’s bag. “I would have think Futaba would have answered by now if she were here.” His ears drooped low in disappointment.

Yusuke lightly pushed at the gate, and it swung open with ease. “The gate is unlocked.”

Ryuji pinched the bridge of his nose. “Dude. You can’t go openin’ other people’s stuff like that.”

“Hey, look.” Makoto pointed towards the house entrance. “The door seems to be slightly open as well. Hmm… I wonder why. That’s rather careless.”

A loud boom, like the crack of a whip, echoed across the sky. Thunder.

Morgana yelped in surprise. “It sounds like it’s going to start raining soon. We should get inside.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Queen wondered in caution. Somehow, Akira didn’t think Sojiro would appreciate five high schoolers and a cat breaking into his house at nine at night.

“I’s prolly fine.” Ryuji waved her off.

“Literally not even two minutes ago you told Yusuke not to open other people’s stuff but now you’re suggesting we break into Sojiro’s house?” Akira chastised. “That seems a bit hypocritical to me.”

“Shut up!”

Makoto pressed two of her fingers against her temple. “My apologies, Boss.”

With ease, the gate was pushed the rest of the way open and the front door was shouldered open.

It felt… wrong. Did this technically count as a crime? They weren’t stealing anything and did have a reason to be there, but in a way they were still trespassing and breaking and entering. Sojiro could, and probably would, call the cops if he caught them. The last thing Akira needed was to get arrested again.

“H-hello? Sir?” Makoto called out. Her voice shook a bit. She turned to Akira. “He’s not out, is he?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“The door ahead is open and I can hear the tv.”

Ryuji made a noise. “I hope he didn’t pass out or somethin’. I mean, Boss is kinda old ain’t he?”

Ann shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably. “I’m a bit worried. Should we check on him?”

They crept further into the house.

Another loud crack sounded, followed by a quick flash of light. Great, a storm. Just what we needed. Akira thought in defeat.

Something like a shriek echoed in the otherwise barren hallway. Makoto jumped, practically pushing into Akira.

“A scream?! What was that?!” Panic crept into her voice.

Ann whimpered. She crossed her arms across her chest, as if giving herself a hug. “Let’s get out of here please? Can we just go?”

“Checking on him was your idea, genius. What are you freaking out for?” Ryuji hissed. She lightly punched him in the shoulder.

“I-I’m not freaking out.” She hissed in response. The stutter combined with how much more high pitched her voice was and her overall body language said otherwise.

Morgana dug his claws into Akira’s shoulder, in a way that was uncomfortable but not horribly painful. “Could it be Alibaba? I mean, Futaba?”

Ann shook her head. She marched forward, grabbing Ryuji by the wrist and dragging him with her. Yusuke shrugged and followed suit.

Makoto, who was still practically flush against him, let out a shaky breath. “Sorry but, um.. Can I hold your hand?” An icy fear coated her words. Under normal circumstances, he probably would have said no. Akira never saw himself as a particularly touchy person, not to mention Makoto was very much out of his league and could probably do much better than he had to offer. However, in this case, he felt it necessary given her obvious terror combined with his own anxiety and paranoia.

Akira nodded and held out a hand to her, which she gracefully took. “If you get scared, just squeeze my hand, okay?” He whispered to her. She gulped, and nodded.

“I can sense someone’s presence.” Yusuke commented in a hushed tone. Even he sounded a bit freaked out, although his posture said otherwise. Akira never knew just what he was thinking or feeling. He was difficult to read at times.

Makoto’s grip tightened. “Who is it…? Who’s there?!” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I can’t take this anymore I’m leaving.” She sounded on the verge of tears. A low, maroon panic bubbled in the pit of Akira’s stomach. He gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.”

She turned her head, most likely in attempt to flee. Akira followed her gaze.

A set of glowing eyes, almost like glass reflecting, started the girl straight in the face. A long dark shadow, about the size of a large child awaited them.

Makoto and the shadow simultaneously let out terrified yelps, and the person whom the shadow belonged to took off up the stairs. Makoto let go of Akira’s hand and stumbled back. She dropped to her knees and hung onto Akira’s leg. He could feel her trembling against him.

Akira let out his own shaky breath. That person, it must have been Futaba.

“Futaba!” Ann cried out. She must have pieced that together, too. “Come on, where are you? You’re a hacker right? Show yourself.”

Makoto buried her face in Akira’s leg. She let out a series of words that somehow all blended together in combination of panic and just her overall fast pace of speaking.

“Are you okay, Futaba?!” Sojiro’s voice echoed in the other room. So he was home.. Akira couldn’t help but inquire how he hadn’t heard the doorbell ringing.

Ryuji swore under his breath. “Crap, he’s home.” He took off behind one of the corridor walls, taking Ann and Yusuke with him.

“Three down,” Akira muttered to no one in particular. His heart thudded dangerously quick against his chest, threatening to jump out and run as fast as it could.

Makoto made no effort to un-attach herself from his leg. It seemed like running wasn’t an option, at least not with her clutching his leg like a koala.

The back door swung open, and Sojiro appeared in the doorway. Akira held his breath.

“Who the hell are you?! Don’t move.” Sojiro snarled.

Shit. Akira couldn’t think straight. Shit shit shit what do I do?

A light flicked on, and Akira could only stare at it, similar to a deer. Makoto tightened around his leg. Her nervous blabbering somehow picked up in speed, and a soft sob escaped her. Was she crying?

“You..? What are you doing in my house?” Sojiro stammered, once the realization hit him.

Akira gulped. “Um… hi. Sorry.”

Makoto lifted her head away from his leg. “Uh… g-good evening, Sir. We, uh, didn’t mean to… intrude…” She managed to get out a coherent sentence between ragged breaths. She was still trembling.

Sojiro flicked off his flashlight and shook his head. “Niijima-san…” He crossed his arms. “Wait a minute. Are you two dating?”

What does that have to do with anything? Akira thought bitterly. Instead, he shook his head. “No, Sir.”

“We’re just friends.” Makoto squeaked.

“Friends nowadays get that close to each other?” Sojiro murmured, most likely to himself.

At that point, Ann, Ryuji and Yusuke re-emerged from their hiding spot behind the wall. “Hi…” Ann whispered.

“You kids are here too?!” Sojiro gasped.

“We uh, brought you some sushi but no one was answering the door so we came inside to make sure you didn’t like, pass out or something,” She rambled. “The door was unlocked and we could hear the tv so we just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“The door was unlocked?” He pressed his index and middle finger to his forehead. “I do that sometimes. Guess I’m getting old…”

At some point, Makoto had let go of Akira’s leg and stood on her own. She seemed a bit more composed and calm then she had a moment ago. “Um, excuse me. There’s something we’d like to ask you about. There’s… someone else living here, isn’t there?” The last part came out as more of a statement.

“Yeah. My daughter.” Sojiro answered in exasperation.

So he does have a daughter… Akira thought to himself. That must be Futaba. If that’s true, then…

“Could she be Futaba Sakura?” Makoto asked. She tilted her head slightly to the side, like a confused dog.

“You told Niijima-san too?” Sojiro demanded. The comment was directed at Akira.

Akira shoved his hands in his pockets, not completely trusting himself to speak properly just yet.

Makoto cut in. “Is there anyway we could meet with Futaba-san? I think we may have frightened her earlier, and we would like to apologize if at all possible.”

“Well… that’s not….” Sojiro started.

“Is she sick?”

“No. That’s not-” He rested his head in his hands and shook his head. “I don’t want you all getting the wrong idea.” He looked up, and stared directly at Akira. “I shouldn’t have kept this secret from you. Let’s talk at my shop. She’ll hear us if we stay here.”


July 24th 2017

10:22 pm


depression nap central


Joker: I suppose we should probably talk about what happened tonight.

Joker: Makoto are you okay?

Queen: Yes, I’m fine. I apologize for the way I acted, I was just…

Joker: Spooked?

Queen: Yeah. I’m not good with that sort of thing. My apologies.

Joker: Don’t even worry about it. Are you better now?

Queen: Yes. Thank you for checking up on me.

Joker: So. Alibaba. Or Futaba, I suppose we should be calling her. Anyone have any input?

Skull: i mean… at least we kno boss aint abusin her

Joker: That’s true. However…

Panther: she’s in a lot of mental pain. i can’t even imagine…

Panther: joker we have to do something for her.

Joker: Well, that is the plan. We made a deal with her, and now we need to hold our end of it. We need to figure out her keywords soon.

Queen: Don’t forget about Medjed. Not only do we need to help Futaba, but we need to stop Medjed. That was the original intention of this mission, but now it’s become something more.

Queen: Something a little more personal, I suppose.

Joker: Exactly. Thank you, Makoto.

Fox: How exactly do we intend on finding her keywords. Aside from what Boss told us about Futaba, we know next to nothing.

Joker: Guess we’ll just have to ask her.


July 24th 2017

10:43 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Makoto Niijima


YK: My apologies for disturbing you this late, but I have a question that I would like to ask you.

MN: Oh, hello. You’re not disturbing me. What’s on your mind.

YK: Excuse me if this out of line, but is there something going on between you and Akira?

MN: What do you mean?

YK: I mean as in “relationship wise.”

YK: I’m not very good at reading between the lines so perhaps I’m looking at this the wrong way.

MN: Me and Akira? No.

MN: God no. He’s not exactly my type of guy, I suppose. Why?

YK: I was just curious. Tonight, you were rather close to him, and I wasn’t entirely aware of the situation.

MN: It’s not like that. I was frightened and anxious, and for whatever reason Akira just has this calming presence to him, you know?

YK: I understand.

MN: But no, there’s nothing like that going on. I don’t harbor any romantic feelings towards him if that’s what you mean, and I don’t believe he harbors any towards me. He seems a little more invested in someone else.

YK: Right.

MN: Well, I’m exhausted. I’m going to head to bed. Have a goodnight.

YK: You too.


July 25th 2017

7:05 am


Makoto Niijima → Ann Takamaki


MN: Hello. Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to consult you on something if you have a moment before the assembly begins.

AT: sure. what’s up?

MN: Perhaps this is none of my business, but I just couldn’t get it out of my mind.

MN: At the fireworks festival, did Yusuke and Akira seem a little close to you?

AT: so you noticed it too huh?

MN: Yeah. They weren’t exactly subtle about it.

AT: yeah well… i asked akira about it and he said there’s nothing going on but..

MN: But?

AT: akira has been prone to flirt with yusuke before. i’m sure you’ve seen a little bit of that flirting, right?

MN: It’s possible?

AT: one time akira started messaging me at like 12 in the morning talking about how pretty yusuke is.

MN: Did he really?

AT: yeah. although recently he’s had a little bit of a change in that? idk it’s weird

MN: What do you mean?

AT: i asked akira what was going on there at the train station and he brushed it off. he made it pretty clear he didn’t want to talk about it so i didn’t try to pry or anything

MN: That’s peculiar.

AT: a few days before then he has asked me about how i knew i liked shiho and wouldn’t explain why. i guess it doesn’t matter much why

MN: Does Akira have feelings for Yusuke?

AT: he won’t say. in the past he said it was more “lust” but now he won’t say anything about how he feels.

MN: Judging from what you’ve told me, Akira likely feels Something. However, what that Something is we can’t say for sure. It would be a little unfair to label it as a crush, especially given there’s still so much more we don’t know. We don’t know exactly what’s going through Akira’s head.

AT: that’s true.

MN: How does Yusuke feel?

AT: honestly i don’t really know. i haven’t asked him and yusuke is much harder to read since i don’t know him as well. hmm...

AT: at the fireworks festival he seemed pretty content there with akira leaning on him. i don’t know about you but he doesn’t exactly strike me as the “touchy” type.

MN: “Touchy type”?

AT: you know, touch hungry. someone who requires a lot of physical contact and affection.

MN: Yusuke doesn’t exactly seem like that type of person, however we can’t say that for a fact.

AT: you’re right…

MN: However, last night Yusuke did ask me an interesting question.

AT: oh?

MN: He messaged me and asked if Akira and I have anything going on.

AT: well? what did you say?

MN: I told him we were only friends. Akira is not exactly what I would look for in a romantic partner?

AT: that’s fair. he’s nice and pretty attractive, but not everyone is into that kind of guy. at least not in that way.

AT: just..most people are.

MN: Well, nevertheless, I guess it doesn’t matter too much. It’s not exactly any of our business and we don’t know enough to figure it out.

AT: fair enough i guess

AT: hey makoto? can i ask you something?

MN: Of course. What can I help you with?

AT: you said that akira isn’t what you look for in a romantic partner. what do you look for?

AT: you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to i get it

MN: Well. That’s a… complicated question.

MN: I don’t have anything specific I look for. I suppose someone with a nice personality and who makes me happy. Um..

MN: Perhaps someone with an entirely different build.

MN: To that compared of Akira, anyway.

MN: Well…

AT: makoto. are you saying you prefer girls

MN: Well uh…

MN: ...Would you be mad if I said yes?

AT: makoto i am literally dating a girl. we were talking about two of our male friends who might possibly be super gay for each other. why would i be mad at you for liking girls

MN: I suppose you have a point… My apologies.

AT: is there a girl you like or just in general?

MN: There’s no one at the moment. I don’t know if I would have time for a relationship anyhow. However, in the past I have been interested in girls…

AT: okay well that’s good! i’m here to support you and i guarantee the rest of the team will support you too!

AT: after all, we have a bisexual, an lgbt ally, a cat who is besties with bisexual, someone who we’re fairly sure is a full blown homosexual but we can’t exactly prove that just yet, and myself who is dating a girl.

MN: Thank you for the support. I really appreciate that.

AT: anytime makoto. you’re part of the team, remember? you’re my friend of course i’m going to support you.

MN: Thank you.

MN: The assembly is starting soon. We should probably put our phones away. We are still meeting at Leblanc afterwards, right?

AT: i believe so. let me ask akira real quick

AT: he said yeah. see you later!

Chapter Text

July 25th 2017

8:46 pm


depression nap central


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Tomb Raiders ~

Panther: hey akira

Panther: why

Joker: I’m sorry. The joke was too good to pass up.

Panther: you’re not sorry

Joker: Damn right I’m not.

Joker: So. Futaba’s palace. Thoughts?

Skull: UGH

Panther: that about sums it up

Skull: the heat is killin me and futabas shadow is annoying

Skull: first we aint threats and its fine but then she goes and nearly kills us jfc

Queen: There’s most likely a reason for that. It seems to me that Futaba really does want our help, but she’s scared. She’s afraid of what will happen if we get close, and she’s trying to prevent us from getting close to her.

Joker: Exactly. That desire to keep people away manifested and affected her cognition.

Joker: So because of that desire, we now have to work our way around all these booby traps.

Queen: That’s precisely what I was thinking.

Fox: Her palace has a nice aesthetic.

Skull: art man has spoken

Panther: art man has spoken

Joker: Art man has spoken.

Fox: “Art man”?

Joker: Art man.

Skull: also uhh i have a question

Skull: ok so personas represent some part of like,, a persons cognition right?

Joker: I believe so? It has something to do with cognition and the innermost thoughts of a person’s heart or something, and I believe each persona is different for every persona user. Why?

Skull: akira,,,we have to talk about one of ur personas

Joker: Okay. Which one?

Skull: idk the name

Skull: but uh...wats the chick in bondage represent…?

Joker: You mean Angel?

Joker: ... Shit. It’s not what you think.

Panther: joker…

Skull: man im not gonna judge u

Skull: but uhh

Joker: She doesn’t represent bdsm I swear

Skull: watever u say

Panther: joker please keep your kinks out of the metaverse

Joker: Okay lisTEN

Joker: It’s not what it looks like

Skull: dude r u…

Skull: ...into that


Joker: Cannot confirm nor deny.

Panther: akira…

Joker: Okay please just hear me out it’s not what you think

Joker: Angel doesn’t represent bdsm. I think, I think, she represents more of some of my innermost thoughts and such. I don’t exactly want to get into it since that’d be going into some Deep Emotional Shit™ that I’m Not Ready To Deal With but yeah she’s more symbolic of some dumb emotion shit.



Fox: I was not aware you had emotions.

Joker: Neither was I.

Skull: wait so

Skull: u arent into bondage?

Joker: Cannot confirm nor deny.

Panther: that’s… really kinky


Skull: i mean…

Panther: i think at this point we sorta all figured akira’s a kinky bitch


~ Queen has changed the name of the chat to Akira has a bondage kink ~

Joker: Makoto I trusted you.

Queen: I couldn’t resist.

Joker: :\

Joker: This is cyberbullying


July 26th 2017

7:51 pm


Akira has a bondage kink


Skull: i swear the further we get into futabas palace the more i hate it

Joker: We’re making some progress. This one… might take a while.

Skull: yea no shit

Skull: every time we almsot die i die a little more on the inside

Panther: “almsot”

Skull: shhhut

Joker: Every time I read the new group chat name I die a little more on the inside

Fox: You are aware you have the ability to change it.

Joker: I know but I have no idea what to change it to.

Panther: idk i kinda like the new name

Panther: after all the times i have been kinkshamed for kinks that i don’t have it seems fitting

Joker: Shut.

Skull: the kinkshamer becomes the kinkshamed

Joker: Shut.

Panther: paybacks a bitch isnt it

Joker: ….

Joker: Ryuji and Ann are no longer allowed to be Phantom Thieves. The team now consists of me, Yusuke, Makoto and Morgana.

Skull: HEY

Panther: wow rude

Joker: It be that way sometimes


July 27th 2017

12:48 pm


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Hey I have a question for you.

YK: Yes?

AK: This is going to sound weird but..

AK: Do you dye your hair?

YK: Excuse me?

AK: Dude your hair is dark blue.

YK: Yes, it’s dyed.

YK: How many people do you know with naturally blue hair?

AK: That’s what was confusing me. No one has natural blue hair but I’ve never seen your roots a different color or anything.

AK: How often do you dye it?

YK: Usually once a month or so. It depends, I suppose.

AK: How long have you been dying it?

YK: I’m not sure on how long exactly. A few years, maybe.

AK: Really?

YK: I believe so.

AK: Why’d you dye your hair in the first place?

YK: It was another way to express myself.

AK: Okay but why blue? It’s a nice color but what lead you to pick that one?

YK: There’s always a reason behind the colors chosen when painting. Each color is picked very carefully, as they are all symbolic of various different subjects, and depending on the color scheme the overall painting can symbolize something different. For me, I chose dark blue, as it is typically symbolic of subjects such as power and integrity. At the time I suppose I needed to remind myself of that.

AK: Wow. I thought colors were just symbolic of emotions and shit.

YK: Not exactly. Yes, that plays a part, but that’s not all they’re used to represent.

AK: A lot more goes into this then I thought.

AK: I mean I knew a lot goes into art but there’s...a lot more than I thought. How do you manage to put so much effort into each individual piece?

YK: I’m an artist. It’s just what we do.


July 27th 2017

4:29 pm


Akira has a bondage kink


Panther: hey do you remember the other day when we went out for sushi?

Queen: Yes, what about it?

Panther: remember how we ran into akechi at the train station?

Joker: Yeah…?

Panther: did it seem to anyone else like akechi was hitting on akira

Skull: dude…

Joker: What?

Queen: Now that you mention it…

Panther: he was getting a little close there

Joker: Again. What?

Skull: he seemed p interested in akira

Fox: I suppose he seemed a little too invested there.

Joker: It’s?? Not like that???

Panther: it sure seemed that way to the rest of us

Skull: dude akechi has a total hard on for u

Joker: :\

Joker: Ew.

Skull: didnt u say u would fuck him

Joker: I mean…





Joker: No. I’d rather not.

Panther: sure jan

Joker: Ann this is cyberbullying

Panther: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Skull: sorry to change the subject but have ant of u ever watched chicken little?

Fox: No?

Panther: OH MY GOD YES


Queen: I’m sorry what are you referring to?



Fox: I never have the time or interest to watch movies.

Queen: I don’t watch a lot of movies. Sis and I used to go to the movie theater with my father when we were younger, but now we don’t exactly have the time to watch movies.

Skull: oh shit

Panther: i’m sorry, makoto

Queen: It’s okay, you didn’t know.

Joker: Hey uhh next celebration party we’re watching chicken little.

Skull: aight but thats not why i asked u about chicken littke

Skull: can we all agree that he deserves like,,,a million times better

Joker: You are one thousand percent right he deserves so much better than what he was given.

Joker: And honestly Buck Cluck? He can suck my ass.

Panther: buck cluck is the worst and i want to set him on fire

Panther: use agi on his ass he is the worst

Skull: buck cluck needs to fuck off and die

Fox: I think I understand what you all are trying to say but it sounds much more vulgar than that.



Skull: i mean…

Skull: dudes right

Skull: akira,,, please watch what u say


Panther: akira are you a furry?



Skull: cant belueve akiras a furry

Panther: “belueve”

Joker: “belueve”

Skull: SHUT

Fox: It’s funny how you’re trying to tease Akira, Ryuji, yet you can’t even spell “believe” properly.




Queen: That was ruthless.

Joker: I am,,,so blessed to have been here to witness this. Yusuke, you beautiful human being I am so blessed.

Fox: It was just a statement I do not understand.

Panther: don’t worry about it yusuke just keep doing what you’re doing

Fox: Okay?

July 28th 2017

2:47 pm


Akira has a bondage kink


Panther: have you guys watched shrek because honestly the 4th movie sucks ass



Skull: ok but can we at least agree the 3rd movie is the worst out of all of them

Panther: agreed

Joker: If I’m being honest here the first three all kind of blend together and only the forth one feels like its own movie.

Skull: thats,,,fair

Skull: the 3rd one was wher wats her face gets pregnant nd theres a wizard dude trippin on acid.

Skull: also prince fucktard gets killed

Joker: That just sounds like an acid trip. Are you sure the entire movie isn’t the wizard dude tripping on acid?

Skull: i mean.,,,,thats prolly what actually happened

Joker: Okay but who got pregnant?

Panther: fiona, shrek’s wife.

Joker: Are… are you serious?

Panther: yes

Skull: yep

Panther: oh yeah and at the beginning fiona’s dad, who was turned into a frog at the end of movie 2, dies and they have a funeral for him

Joker: What the fuck? This sounds like a fever dream.

Joker: What happened in the first two.

Skull: OH BOY OK

Skull: SO IN MOVIE 1 were introduced to our main character shrekathan who terrorizes the village bc hes an ogre nd thats wat they do

Panther: his name was not “shrekathan”

Skull: shut up shrekathan sounds better

Skull: also we meet a midget named lord fuckwit who wants to be king and is jerking it to princesses like a creep

Panther: lord farquad

Panther: also he wasn’t jerking off to them

Skull: ok he wasnt actually jerkin it but if u look u can see he has a hardon for them

Panther: okay that’s fair

Skull: lord fuckwit wants to marry princess fiona who is locked away in a tower for some fuckin reason that well get into later prolly

Skull: anyways back to shrekory

Panther: don’t call him shrekory that’s worse

Skull: shh

Skull: so shrekory gets to his swamp nd its bein taken over. also he met donkey who is a talking donkey

Panther: donkey is important how did you forget him

Skull: shh

Joker: Are you sure this isn’t just an acid trip?

Skull: no but anyways

Skull: shrekifer is like “yo why tf u assholes on my swamp THIS IS MY SWAMP”

Skull: nd the fairy tale creatures r like “we were sent here by lord fapshit go talk to him dude”


Skull: yes now let me continue

Skull: so donkey nd shrekily go on a quest to see lord dipshit nd like they talk nd ogres have layers

Panther: very important

Skull: they get 2 lord dipshits castle nd keep off the grass n wipe ur ass

Panther: how can you remember that but you can’t remember donkey

Skull: the weird singing gremlin creatures say to wipe ur ass ann it;s a rule they put down

Skull: u cant forget the rules

Panther: sigh


Skull: so shrek nd donkey get to a thing and fuckword is like “yo fight to the death i dont like ogres”

Skull: so shreketha fuckin smokes those bitches nd hes like “yo fuckshit wat do abt my swamp ho”

Panther: why do you keep changing the names

Skull: i like these names better

Skull: fapshit is like “uhhhh go get princess fiona 4 me then u get ur swamp back”

Skull: shrek is like “no u”

Skull: fapshit is like “no u”

Skull: so shrek is like “aight bitch if i do this i get my swamp back yea?” and fapshits just like “yea w/e get the princess for me ho”

Skull: so shrekory nd donkey go on a quest 2 save fiona nd donkey fights off a dragon by wooing her (later they get married nd have babies which is like???? donkey my dude??? shes literally 10x ur height how did that even happen???)

Skull: fiona thinks her prince came 4 her nd shrek is like “nah man im just on a mission”

Skull: fiona finds our shrek is an ogre nd hes just like well fuk u too

Fox: Ryuji what are you even talking about right now.

Skull: oh hey yusuke

Skull: ann nd i are summarizing shrek

Skull: meanin im summarizing it nd every now and then ann corrects me or scolds me 4 changin the names

Joker: It’s very amusing. Scroll up.

Fox: Will do.

Panther: yusuke have you ever watched shrek?

Fox: I think I did when I was younger. I don’t completely remember but the name sounds familiar.

Skull: well then heres a refresher for u

Skull: anyways shit happens, the journey back takes a long ass fuckin time nd fiona is like “suns going down i need to sleep in this cave fuck yall gn”

Skull: nd then more shenanigans ensue, they get their asses kicked by robin hood or wh nd shrek gets an arrow in his ass

Joker: Is that a euphemism? I don’t remember this being a porno...

Panther: no

Skull: no

Panther: he actually gets shot in the ass with an arrow

Skull: yeah :\

Skull: so after that bs shrek is like “damn im falling for her wat do”

Skull: day 2 comes to an end n they stop at a shack. shrek picks a flower for fiona tht he wants to give to her

Skull: donkey finds out fiona is an ogre bc she has a bullshit curse that makes her an ogre when the sun is down and can only be broken by true loves first kiss or wh which is honestly so dumb

Skull: shrek overhears fiona nd donkey talking nd fiona is like “ew ogres r monsters” n shrekathan throws the flower down nd is sad an pissed

Joker: Yep I remember that part. Don’t Shrek and Fiona like, get into an argument and Fiona goes to marry midget fuckshit?

Skull: yee

Skull: but like, at the wedding shrek stops it n is like “fiona ilu”

Skull: nd shes like “ily2”

Skull: they kiss n shes an ogre and is like “why am i not beautiful :(“

Panther: “i was supposed to be beautiful” was the exact words i think

Skull: ^ yea. that.

Skull: and it ends with shrek n fiona getting married and a dance sequence oh boy

Joker: Wait I thought Fiona became a human again?

Panther: that’s in the second movie

Joker: They all just blend together honestly.

Fox: I wasn’t aware there was more than one Shrek movie.

Joker: Wh?????

Joker: How could you not????

Fox: I don’t have time to watch a lot of movies this has been mentioned before.

Joker: Yusuke are you busy right now?

Fox: Not particularly. I was working on an art piece but as of right now, no. Why?

Joker: Come to Leblanc. We’re watching Shrek.

Fox: Okay?


July 28th 2017

3:04 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: Were you actually serious about watching Shrek together?

AK: Yes. I’m actually in the process of renting the first two movies.

AK: Do you actually want to watch it with me?

YK: I don’t have a problem with it. I just wasn’t entirely sure if you actually wanted me to come to Leblanc.

AK: Why would I not want you to come to Leblanc?

AK: Do you actually want to watch Shrek? We can do something else if you want.

YK: I’m fine with anything, as long as it’s with you.


July 28th 2017

3:05 pm


Akira swallowed loudly. He read over the message one more time. A vine of thorns wrapped its way around his heart and squeezed tightly, the thorns digging into the soft flesh. There was no use fighting it; after all, struggling would only make it worse. Just because he was aware of it did not mean he couldn’t elect to ignore it.

He let out a ragged breath. Morgana looked over his shoulder, his whiskers tickling Akira’s neck from where he sat on Akira’s shoulder.

Morgana snorted. “You’re hopeless.”

“What?” It sounded pathetic, even to Akira. “What are you talking about?”

“Your cheeks are flushed red. He’s just saying he wants to spend more time with you.” The cat said with an eye roll. “You are so whipped for him.”

“Am not!” It came out as more of a squeak, which Akira would deny until the day he died. “He’s just… a friend, okay? He’s my friend and he means a lot to me.” He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip and bit down, the sharp pain quickly bringing him back to reality. Akira’s face was hot, as if someone had cast agi on him. He could only hope it wasn’t visible, however judging by Morgana’s previous comment he highly doubted that. It was just the heat of the sun, yeah? After all, it was the middle of the summer, and the sun was very bright and hot. He was just… sunburned? Yeah, sunburned. That was it.

Morgana lightly whacked the back of Akira’s head. “Respond to him, at least.”

“Right.” Akira took another ragged breath and with shaking hands, typed out a quick message.


July 28th 2017

3:08 pm


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: I’ll see you soon.

Chapter Text

July 30th 2017

11:27 am


Akira has a bondage kink


Panther: hey are we going into the palace today?

Joker: Yep. Right now I’m just making a few stops and am picking up some items. Meet in the attic at Leblanc at noon.

Joker: @everyone Palace exploration day. Hideout at noon. We can go over a few things before we go in and should hopefully be able to knock out another level of Futaba’s pyramid. Got it?

Skull: gotcha

Panther: yep

Fox: Yes.

Queen: Yeah.

Joker: Perfect.


July 30th 2017

1:20 pm


“Alright guys, let’s take a quick break and consult.”

Joker stood at the front of one of the safe room tables, his red-gloved hands pressed firmly against the tabletop. The others stood around them, some with their masks still on, others with them loosely held between their fingers. The leader quickly scanned the surrounding party.

“Joker, do you want me to check the perimeter real quick? There shouldn’t be any shadows nearby, but it’s better safe than sorry. I’ll try to see just how much further we have.” Mona spoke up. He crossed his stubby cat arms, which was almost funny. If it weren’t for the fact that Joker had seen Mona with a knife before, he probably would have laughed. If he was being honest, Mona was probably one of the strongest on the team. Then again, Mona had been the one to teach him about the Metaverse and how to use his persona.

“That would be great, but take a couple people with you. It’s dangerous to go alone.”

Queen nodded and spoke up. “Fox and I will go with him.” She nudged Yusuke in the side as she said that. “In case we run into shadows, it’d be best to have us go. Fox and myself have the most energy to spare, not to mention we need someone good with magic, healing and physical attacks in case.”

“Perfect. If you run into anything important, report back to me immediately. Got it?” Joker demanded. The three of them nodded in agreement, and they took off.

Panther pushed herself up on the table and sat, resting her feet on one of the benches. She sighed in exhaustion.

Skull, on the other hand, had sloppily thrown himself on to a bench, and had his face propped up against his fist. Joker calmly took a seat on the opposite side of the table. He took his black and white mask off and lazily tossed it onto the surface.

“Hey, Panther,” Skull muttered, nudging her in the thigh. She crossed her legs delicately over one another and removed her mask as well. “The floor is loving Shiho.”

Joker playfully rolled his eyes. “That meme died a while ago, Skull.”

“Nah man, it’s not dead. It’s just resting.”

Ann slid off the table and sat criss cross on the floor of the safe room, a soft giggle getting stuck in her throat. She turned to Ryuji. “Skull. The floor is loving Akechi.”

Skull’s mouth curved into a hard frown, and he moved his feet onto the table top. “Hell nah. I have zero love for that dude.”

Akira snickered. He stood on his seat and climbed up onto the table, spreading his body across it in plank formation. “Akechi is an asshole.” The comment was a little muffled.

“Damn dude, can’t believe Panther actually likes Akechi.”

Ann laughed. “I don’t feel like moving right now.” She twirled a loose lock of fair hair around her pink-gloved finger. “The floor is loving Yusuke?”

Skull put his feet down. Both he and Panther turned to face Joker, curious about what he was going to do. Joker, still basically planking across the table, rolled to the side and allowed himself to fall off the table and onto the dusty, concrete floor.

The impact hurt. As soon as he made contact, a sharp ache shot all across his body. He barely resisted the urge to hiss in pain. Instead, he turned on his stomach and pressed his face into the floor, and spread his arms and legs out like a starfish.

Skull and Panther howled with laughter.

“A-are you okay?!” Ann wheezed between fits of giggles. Tears pricked at the corners of Ryuji’s eyes.

“I’ve never been better.” Joker deadpanned. “After all, I’m buried in love for Yusuke.” Somehow, his voice remained study and monotone in a way that only he was able to accomplish. He exhaled through his nose, some of the dust blowing up into his face. He barely resisted the urge to sputter.

At that moment the door swung open. Queen, Fox and Mona sauntered in and promptly stopped in their tracks.

Queen raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Why are you two…?” She signalled between Joker and Panther, causing another fit of giggles.

Skull dismissed her comment with the wave of a hand and a goofy grin. “Don’t worry about it.”

Mona rolled his eyes and bounded over to the  table and hopped up. “Joker get off the floor.”

“I would except I’m burying myself in love.” Joker muttered. More sand got on his face, and if he weren’t as dedicated to the joke as he was, he would have at least lifted his face up.

Skull and Panther snickered again. They looked over at Fox, who hadn’t said much and was clearly perplexed by the situation, and the laughing only continued.

“My god, what happened in the five minutes we were gone.” Queen said under her breath, followed by a shake of the head.

Finally, Joker sat up, running a hand through his tangled black hair. “In all seriousness though, that hurt a lot.”

The statement caused more confusion between Queen, Fox and Mona and more amusement between Skull and Panther.

“Do you need any healing?” Panther managed to stammer.

He waved her off. “Nah, I’ll be fine. My head hurts a little but it’ll be fine.”

“Was it worth it for the joke?”


Joker stood up and brushed himself off. “Alright, fun’s fun but we have stuff to do. Let’s get a grasp of our current situation.”


July 31st 2017

9:37 pm


Akira has a bondage kink


Panther: so can we all simultaneously agree to overthrow our leader and kick him off the team

Queen: All in favor?

Queen: Aye.

Panther: aye

Joker: Um okay wow this is homophobic :\

Panther: we weren’t the ones asking shadows if we could eat their ass

Joker: We were just fucking around.

Joker: Homophobia at its finest.

Fox: I’m sorry what are you referring to right now?

Joker: Ann and Makoto are just annoyed that I asked a shadow if I could eat her ass.

Fox: Excuse me?

Joker: Makoto, Ann and Ryuji were on the starting line up when I ambushed a shadow. While ripping off its mask I said “Excuse me Sir, may I eat your ass?”

Joker: Turns out it was a woman.



Queen: We could have been killed because this one thought it would be funny to ask a shadow to eat its ass.

Joker: We kicked their asses it was worth it.

Queen: It really was not.

Panther: ryuji thought it was funny. it was not funny

Joker: It was funny.

Joker: Hey, at least Sandman appreciated the gesture. I have a new persona.

Panther: is that the one with the moon face?

Joker: Yeah. He’s not that powerful though.



Queen: I don’t think you should be asking random shadows to eat their ass.

Joker: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fox: Why would you think that’s a good idea?

Joker: Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Panther: joker please never ask a shadow if you can eat its ass.

Joker: I’ll consider it.

Skull: dude wat if u asked a boss to eat its ass before an all out attack?

Joker: YES

Panther: NO

Fox: Joker please do not.

Joker: I’ll consider it.


August 5th 2017

9:28 pm


Akira has a bondage kink


Queen: Ryuji please stop enabling Akira this is becoming a problem.

Skull: listen i didnt think he would actually do it

Queen: You should know better then anyone that Akira can and will do something like that.

Skull: i said it as a joke it aint my fault he took it literally

Queen: I think he knew it was a joke and that’s what scares me.

Skull: i mean,,at least it was kinda funny??

Queen: We… we could have gotten killed…

Skull: but we didnt. and at least he was askin for consent

Fox: That boss was in a coffin. How would one even go about accomplishing that task.

Queen: Yusuke please don’t ask questions like that.

Skull: u get em out of the coffin first then eat their ass

Skull: smh not that hard

Queen: Okay can we just make it a rule not to ask shadows about sexual acts? Please?

Joker: I asked the coffin for consent. I wanted to eat his ass.

Joker: Or her.

Joker: We don’t judge based on gender here in the Phantom Thieves. There is no sexism permitted here.

Joker: Besides, I’m pretty sure Ann and Makoto are two of the strongest on the team. I pity the poor asshole on the other end of Ann’s whip or Makoto’s brass knuckles.

Queen: Thank you Akira. That still doesn’t change the fact that you asked a shadow in the middle of a fight if you could eat its ass.

Joker: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Joker: Ryuji still thought it was funny.

Skull: i mean it was funny

Skull: but ur timing has never been worse

Joker: Is that a challenge?

Skull: dude no

Fox: Please do not. As entertaining as it might have been, that was still a very risky and poorly timed comment to make. Keep in mind how strong some of these shadows are.

Joker: Alright yeah. That’s fair. It was only a one time thing I promise.

Skull: whipped

Joker: SHUT


August 4th 2017

7:37 pm


Akira has a bondage kink



Skull: im sorry but this is a mood

Panther: OIHWDHU

Joker: “When Futaba’s shadow tries to get you to follow her but leads you into another trap.”

Joker: anger.jpg

Panther: “when theres still more rooms to go”

Panther: my-current-mood.jpg

Skull: “when lamia wont let u eat her ass”

Skull: same.jpg




Skull: SKIP TO 0:51

Joker: Woah..what is that rat doing…

Joker: Is it okay?

Skull: idk man but i laughed way too hard


Panther: when you still have like 5 floors left in futaba’s palace, it’s 90+ degrees, you’re almost out of energy and there’s no more healing items

Joker: Do you guys know those weird pen topper things where you squeeze it and their eyes pop out?

Joker: That’s basically that rat.

Skull: wh


Joker: These things.


Panther: i used to have a unicorn one. ryuji do you remember me having one of those pens in middle school?

Skull: ann i dont even remember wat i had for dinner last night

Panther: i used that pen for everything you have no idea. it’s probably lost in my room somewhere

Skull: wait hold on

Skull: when-will-my-reflection-show.jpg

Skull: this is a mood

Joker: He looks so sad and lost. Poor little dude.

Panther: ryuji did you really name the image file after a song from mulan

Skull: listen that was a good fuckin movie

Panther: i mean,,,you’re right

Joker: That image is basically us waiting for the deadline.


Skull: us stealing hearts

Panther: ryuji why do you have so many rats?

Skull: haha funny story

Skull: lets just say i got distracted and now i want a pet rat

Panther: kin

Joker: Kin.

Joker: Speaking of things we’re kin with.

Joker: Anyone else relate to naked mole rats? Those things are fucking frowned upon but they just keep on trucking along, minding their own business, having a good time.

Panther: kin

Skull: thats fair

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Kin Fam ~

Panther: kin fam?!

Joker: It’s better than “Akira has a bondage kink.”

Panther: that name spoke the truth

Joker: It did not shut up.

Panther: are you sure about that?


Skull: gottem

Chapter Text

August 11th 2017

3:26 pm


Kin Fam


Skull: so uhh

Skull: we might need to find another pt member

Skull: specifically one with high physical and magic abilities

Skull: magic that focus on ice preferably

Skull: we might need a new artist too

Queen: What?

Queen: What happened to Yusuke?

Joker: He’s fine we don’t need a new Fox.

Skull: u sure? he looks a little...pale

Joker: He’s fine we don’t need a new Fox.

Queen: What did you two do.

Skull: so uhhh

Joker: Funny story..haha

Skull: akira ur the leader tell the nice lady wat happened

Joker: Thanks for throwing me under the bus “bro”

Skull: np dude

Queen: Akira. What happened.

Joker: Sigh..

Joker: So Ryuji, Yusuke and myself decided to pass the time at this park and we found a playground right?

Joker: There’s this weird spinny thing, I think they’re called “hold n spin’s” that looked kinda fun and Ryuji and I were just screwing around on it and spinning each other as fast as we could.

Joker: You know, these things.

Joker: sorry-yusuke.jpg

Queen: Okay…

Joker: For the most part Yusuke had kept his distance and was just drawing under a tree. He seemed kind of lonely so we thought we’d get him involved, right?

Joker: Turns out there was a reason he was keeping his distance from the hold n spin.

Joker: He gets motion sick, Makoto. We forgot about that.

Skull: yea our bad,,,

Queen: So you forced him on a spinning object even though he gets motion sickness?

Joker: Yeah…

Joker: Probably didn’t help that we purposely tried to push it as fast as we could.

Queen: Are you serious right now.

Joker: Unfortunately we are dead serious.

Queen: Where is Yusuke right now?

Joker: He’s kind of spacing out under a tree right now. Sorry Yusuke.

Queen: You’re both idiots.

Skull: i offered him some water if it means anything

Queen: Is he okay?

Joker: Yeah he’s fine, probably just a little dizzy. I’ll make him curry later to make up for it I promise.

Skull: yeet

Joker: Ryuji’s helping me make it

Skull: shit

Queen: Are you sure you want that? He microwaved an egg once, Akira.

Skull: stop shitting on my microwave eggs makoto smh

Joker: I’ll probably just have him stir or something. Maybe he can add some of the spices when I need him to.

Skull: i would protest but yea thats fair i cant cook dude

Joker: I know. At least half your diet consists of instant noodles and soda.

Skull: thats...tru

Skull: hey uh will boss mind u stealin his kitchen for a bit?

Joker: I don’t know. I’ll just tell him that I’m proposing to Yusuke via curry or something I don’t know.

Skull: r u sure hell buy that?

Joker: Probably not.

Queen: How’s Yusuke looking now?

Joker: Better. He’s not spacing out much now. I think he’s recovered for the most part.

Fox: I hate the both of you right now.



Fox: Alive but at what cost.

Skull: woah

Joker: I mean… mood but are you okay

Fox: No.

Fox: Two delinquents thought it would be a good idea to spin me as fast as they possibly could. For at least two minutes I was seeing double.

Joker: Sorry.

Skull: sorry

Queen: I will reiterate, the both of you are idiots.

Joker: That’s fair.

Skull: mayb so makoto

Joker: Also I would just like to say, after all that and somehow Yusuke’s hair still looks flawless what the hell.

Joker: Even Ryuji’s hair is messed up from how fast he was going and his hair literally should not be able to do that it’s so short.

Skull: y would u notice that dude

Joker: How is his hair still so beautiful.

Fox: Sheer willpower.

Joker: Teach me your ways.

Fox: No.

Joker: This is homophobic :\

Fox: So isn’t spinning someone who gets severely motion sick what’s your point.


Queen: Aren’t the three of you in the same place right now?

Joker: Yeah

Skull: yep

Fox: Yes.

Queen: Why are you texting when you could be having this discussion face to face.

Skull: no idea but good idea

Queen: Ryuji, just you and Akira combined are taking years off of my life.

Skull: fair


August 16th 2017

5:48 pm


Kin Fam


Panther: how’s futaba-chan?

Joker: Sleeping. She basically fell asleep. Apparently the knock back was real strong with this one…

Skull: yea,,,and i thought i was tired after awakening my persona

Joker: Yeah, so did I. At least I was able to get home before passing out.

Fox: What did Boss say about it?

Queen: He said that she gets like that sometimes. She’ll pass out, like she’s out of battery life, then wake up in a few days.

Skull: will she wake up soon enough to stop medjed?

Queen: We don’t know.

Joker: Most likely. However we can’t be too sure, and in the event she is not we may need a backup plan.

Skull: r u serious?! we spent all this time tryin to get futaba to help us n she might not even be awake in time to help??

Joker: It’s highly unlikely it will come to that, but it is better safe than sorry.

Panther: what are we going to do if she can’t help?

Joker: We’ll figure something out.

Fox: Do you have a plan?

Queen: We’ll just have to prepare for the event and act last moment.

Skull: thats not a plan makoto thats suicide

Queen: Well right now it’s the best option we have. I don’t see the rest of you coming up with any other ideas, unless you happen to have another hacker on speed dial.

Joker: As of right now all we can do is wait and prepare, okay? We still have five days…

Panther: the media is getting restless…

Queen: We’re aware.

Fox: Everyone is wondering how we’re going to react and why it is taking us so long. We need to act as soon as possible.

Joker: There’s nothing that can be done about that right now, okay? I’ll make sure to update you if there is anything to report about Futaba’s condition.

Joker: On the topic of Futaba, however, there is something I would like to discuss…

Fox: What is it?

Joker: So when we got to the treasure, there was nothing in her sarcophagus. She was in fact the treasure herself.

Queen: Yes??

Joker: Her shadow returned to her vessel, hence allowing her to awaken to a persona. However, we didn’t exactly “steal” anything. She “stole” back what was rightfully hers by finally accepting the truth. In a way, it sort of reminds me of you, Yusuke.

Fox: Her awakening had a lot less blood.

Joker: Well, yeah. Her awakening in general was very different from anything we have ever seen before.

Joker: We didn’t steal her heart. We just healed her heart.

Fox: That is one way to look at it, I suppose. We caused her distorted desires to vanish and her palace did crumble, however as you stated we did not have to steal anything.

Queen: That’s true. She stole her own heart, and in return she awakened to her powers. When she wakes up and is more comfortable, maybe she’d be willing to answer a few questions in regard to that. Only if she’s willing. We don’t want to make her uncomfortable after everything she’s been through.

Joker: We gave her the strength she needed to take back her own mind.

Queen: Akira, make sure to keep us up to date with the situation. If and when she wakes up, let us know asap.

Joker: Will do.

Fox: If she wakes up? Are you implying that her awakening may have killed her or put her in a coma?

Queen: What? No that’s not what I’m implying.

Queen: I phrased that horribly. My apologies. I mean when she wakes up, regardless of if it is before or after the deadline, let us know.

Joker: On it.


August 17th 2017

12:01 pm


Shibuya was an interesting place. Several new sights always greeted Yusuke whenever he stepped out of his dorm, some opportunities practically begging to be captured and turned into a new art piece.

He sat against one of the stone walls in the Station Square, his sketchbook open in his lap. Soft, not yet identifiable marks of graphite covered the page, a basic staccato outline against the thin paper. Faceless strangers came and went, most not even batting an eyelash in Yusuke’s general direction. A stand selling lottery tickets stood tall to one side, a few buildings signalling the beginning of central street to the other. To some, perhaps most, it was just another typical day in Shibuya, nothing new or exciting happening. To Yusuke, however, it was practically a land mine of artistic opportunity right there at his disposal. All he had to do was pick what it was he was after.

He peered up from his sketchbook and turned his head slightly. Two girls stood a short distance away, giggling and clinging to each other as if they depended on one another. Nothing too particularly interesting, he figured. One of them, the girl on the left, caught his eye. She turned to her friend and whispered in her ear. The friend nodded in response.

Yusuke returned his attention back to his sketchbook. In short movements, more lines were added to the messy doodle. For the most part, it was supposed to be messy. It was just a roadmap for the drawing, and eventually it would become more clear.

“Um, excuse me.”

The boy looked up from his drawing. The two girls that had been looking at him previously stood in front of him. One of them, a petite school girl with chestnut hair pulled up in a high ponytail, clasped her hands delicately in front of her. Her friend stood behind her, nursing a soft drink that Ryuji would most likely have been seen with.

“Are you Kitagawa-san?” Ponytail asked. “Former pupil of Madarame?”

Yusuke set his pencil down suspiciously. “That depends. Who’s asking?”

The girl giggled. “My name is Hana Himari, and this is my friend Akari Ichika. We attend the same school as you. We’re first years.” Hana, apparently that was her name, quickly dropped a wink in her friend’s direction. Even to Yusuke, the wink was not subtle.

“Okay. Can I help you with something, Himari-san?” He raised an eyebrow, not entirely interested in what these two wanted from him.

Hana and Akari shared another look. It was almost infuriating how often they seemed to do that, and he had been in there presence for less than a minute.

Akari snickered. Straight, jet black hair cropped just below her jawline bounced as she turned her head. “Do you know anything about the Phantom Thieves? I mean, you were taught by someone who the Phantom Thieves targeted.”

Yusuke made a “tch” noise. Of course that’s what they were asking him about. All this time, and he was still being questioned about Madarame. Even after everything he had been put through, he still was not ready to admit to everything just yet. If he were being completely honest, he wasn’t sure if he would ever be ready to admit to everything and confront his internalized emotions head on.

“Unfortunately, no. I have no knowledge in regards to the Phantom Thieves.” The lie slipped off his tongue easily, coming as natural to him as breathing. It was no wonder he was good at lying. After all, he had lied to himself for over sixteen years and had even convinced himself to believe it.

Hana twirled the end of her ponytail around a finger. “Sorry to put this so bluntly, but did you notice anything strange about Madarame before his change of heart took place?”

Yusuke picked his pencil back up and turned his attention to his sketchbook once more. “Can’t say that I did, exactly. Everything seemed the same as usual until that conference.”

Another lie. At the time he hadn’t entirely realized it, but Madarame had began acting in ways that were considered “strange” for him. The psychological abuse had subsided for a time, and instead he had spent the majority of his time holed up in his bedroom. The toxicity of it all had almost seemed to disappear. Almost. Around Madarame, the toxicity never fully disappeared. Yusuke just had not realized it until he was forced to open his eyes.

Akari and Hana shared yet another look. What exactly did they hope to achieve in doing that?

Akari crossed her arms. “Do you know anything about what the Phantom Thieves plan to do next? With Medjed and everything?”

He took a moment to consider the question, and all the given circumstances. What exactly did they plan to do? If Futaba didn’t wake up in time, what would happen? “If they exist, I’m sure they’ll act when the time is right. Otherwise, I have no knowledge of what they intend to do.”

“Are you saying you don’t believe in the Phantom Thieves?” Akari demanded. Yusuke was starting to get the feeling that she was the aggressive type. It was unnerving, really.

He delicately crossed his legs over one another. “I’m not saying they don’t exist. Anything is possible, after all. However, there is no definite proof they are real. How exactly would one go about stealing a heart?”

Hana shook her head. She put her arm out, pushing the other girl back a little. “You have a point, Kitagawa-kun. I, uh, wanted to ask you though. Are you okay? Given what Madarame was convicted of, I can’t even begin to imagine how that must feel. How are you holding up?”

Am I okay…?

Yusuke pondered the question a moment. He didn’t have a definite answer for that one. What did it even mean to be “okay”? What did it mean to say that he was okay even after years of abuse that he hadn’t even realized had been abuse until about three months ago? What did it mean to say that he had sympathised with his abuser, even adored him as “father” after everything he had been put through, until nearly the very end until he had been given every reason to despise Madarame. What did it mean to say that, sometimes, he still sympathised with Madarame and in a sick and twisted way almost missed him?

“I’m fine.” Yusuke said with a voice as cold as ice. He didn’t want to get into that, not now or ever.

“Okay, well, if you ever need to talk I’d be willing to listen,” Hana reassured with a soft smile. It was almost disgusting. She took a pen and scrap of paper out of her purse and scribbled something onto it before handing it to Yusuke. He took it in weary hands. “We’ll see you around, Kitagawa-kun?”

He nodded once, mostly to shut down the conversation. The two girls giggled once more before taking off.

On the slip of paper in his hand, in big swirly handwriting read “Call me? -HH” followed by a phone number. Yusuke packed up his sketchbook and stood to leave, the motivation to continue his art disappearing. He tossed the paper in the trash and headed in the opposite direction.


August 17th 2017

12:33 pm


Kin Fam


Fox: So the weirdest thing happened to me earlier today…

Panther: oh yeah?? what happened?

Fox: These two girls, apparently first years at Kosei, came up to me asking about the Phantom Thieves. The asked me about Madarame and Medjed.

Joker: Well? What did you say?

Fox: I lied and told them I didn’t know anything.

Panther: was that it?

Fox: For the most part, yes. One of them gave me her number for some reason?

Joker: Really?? Are you going to call her??

Fox: No. Quite frankly, her and her friend were a bit of a nuisance and I would much rather avoid all interaction with them if I can.

Joker: Oh thank God.

Fox: Excuse me?

Joker: That’s a good idea. If they were hounding you for answers about the Phantom Thieves, it’s best to stay clear of them. We don’t need them finding out anything about us, and there is a chance you could let something slip. Unlikely, but still a chance. We have to be careful around people like that.

Panther: yes!!! i’m sure that’s exactly why!!!! you should not call them!!! don’t interact!!!!

Fox: Is there any particular reason you felt the need to use that many exclamation points, Ann?

Panther: what do you mean???? i’m typing just as i always do!!!!!!

Fox: I highly doubt that…

Joker: I don’t know, Ann, you seem to be typing weirdly and if you know what’s good for you you should probably stop that.

Fox: Is there a reason you felt the need to italicize parts of that statement?

Joker: What are you talking about Yusuke I’m typing just as normal as always.

Panther: haha yeah!!!! same as always!!!!

Fox: The two of you are acting strange. Is everything alright?

Panther: yep!!!!! just peachy!!!!

Joker: Yep everything is perfectly fine Yusuke.

Fox: Hmm…


August 17th 2017

12:38 pm


Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu


AT: so

AT: yusuke got a girls number

AK: And? It’s not any of my business.

AT: you sure seemed intent on telling him to avoid the girl who gave him her number

AK: She could be a potential threat if she finds out who we are. I was just advising him to be cautious.

AT: that’s not all you intended

AT: spill kurusu

AK: Ann I really do not know what you want from me right now. I’m just trying to act as a leader and do what’s best for the team, and if that means staying away from those asking too many questions then so be it.

AT: hmm suspicious

AK: It’s really not.

AT: hmm

AK: What do you want me to say, Ann?? That I don’t like knowing that other people have taken notice of him and are giving him their numbers? That I don’t like others looking at him and noticing how pretty he is and showering him with compliments and pick up lines?? That seeing other people do these things make my skin crawl and I should be the only one who gets to notice how pretty he is and should be the only one to give him my number and compliment him and use pick up lines on him?? That just being around him or receiving a text from him makes my heart stop?? Is that what you want from me??

AT: yes akira that is exactly what i want from you

AK: Too bad because I’m not going to say any of that.

AT: you just did

AK: Fuck.

AT: aww that’s so cute!! you do have a crush on yusuke!!

AK: I don’t really know that it’s a crush persay…

AT: that sounds pretty damn close to a crush to me akira.

AT: i won’t tell you what to feel or how you feel, but i’ll let you know that whatever it is you’re feeling is valid okay?? you’re allowed to feel things, and sometimes i think you forget that.

AT: you’re only human. never apologize for your emotions, okay??

AK: What if he doesn’t feel the same?

AT: then that’s his loss.

AK: Listen I

AK: I can’t deal with this right now okay? I just… I can’t have this conversation right now.

AT: can’t? or don’t want to?

AK: I don’t know. I just… need to clear my head.

AT: alright. if and when you think you can handle this conversation i’ll be here though okay??

AK: Yeah. Okay.


August 17th 2017

12:41 pm


The vine of thorns around Akira’s heart tightened, each individual prick prodding and sinking further and further into the sensitive flesh. He took a ragged breath, his throat constricting. Morgana had stepped out to check on Futaba and had promised to be back later.

Akira clicked off his phone and tossed it onto his futon. He stood and ran his fingers through his hair, desperately trying to gulp down every breath of fresh air he could. Why had that conversation with Ann shaken him so much? Did he really admit to feeling all of those things?

So much for repression… He thought in defeat. He gnawed on his bottom lip and plopped down on the sofa, scuffing at the hardwood floor with his toe. A weak laugh managed to rip its way free from him. It’s all just emotional bullshit.

Chapter Text

August 19th 2017

5:38 pm


Kin Fam


Skull: any word about futaba?

Joker: As far as I know, she’s still sleeping.

Skull: for real? its been three days

Joker: Listen I’m just going off of what Boss has told me. Besides, who’s to say when the last time she got a full night’s sleep was..

Skull: thats..tru

Skull: still we have 2 more days until the cleanse. we need her to wake up asap

Joker: We’re doing the best we can, okay? Right now all we can really do is wait. If she’s not awake by the twenty first we’ll figure something else out.

Skull: do u have an idea in case she aint awake in time?

Joker: It’s...a work in progress.

Skull: so u got nothin huh?

Joker: Listen. We put all of our faith in Futaba. We didn’t think much past that, and now that she might not be able to help we don’t have very many options. I know Makoto and myself are looking into it, but if anyone else has an idea to bring to the table please share it with the class.

Skull: alright got me there i guess

Joker: We did all we could, now we need to plan ahead okay?

Joker: Although… damn. Her persona awakening combined with her condition overall… Futaba’s gotta be dead tired after all that’s happened. No wonder she passed out like that.

Joker: However, there’s still one thing that’s bothering me.

Skull: oh yea? wat is it?

Joker: The whole “cognitive psience” thing. She said it’s with a psi. Psi would make sense, given the prefix psi- signifies that of psychological occurrences. However…

Skull: uh oh

Joker: Cognitive psience presumably means the study of the mind and cognition as a whole. So like a more complicated version of psychology, just dealing with the way we see and perceive aspects of the world and our lives as a whole.

Skull: ok

Skull: u forget who ur talkin to here. none of this makes any sense to me

Joker: Just hang in there, it’ll make sense soon.

Joker: It’s not the “cognitive psience” term or meaning that disturbs me. What disturbs me is that there’s an actual term for it.

Skull: yea??

Joker: Ryuji. That means other people know about the Metaverse. Other people have looked into it and were doing serious research on it. Hell, Futaba’s mother was doing research before someone pulled the plug on it.

Skull: oh shit

Joker: Ryuji. Someone out there knows about the Metaverse and cognition and is trying to prevent others from finding out. Someone out there knows how we’re stealing hearts and most likely wants us dead for it.

Skull: shit

Joker: Exactly. Someone knows and if they find out who we are we’re fucked.

Skull: how long have u been thinkin about this?

Joker: I’ve been contemplating the term since I overheard that woman talking to Sojiro about it, but it wasn’t until Futaba brought it to our attention where it really started to click.

Skull: thats a fair point but dude u think too much. they aint gonna find us

Skull: think about how many people r in japan

Skull: nd if theyre really tryin to keep this shit secret from the public whos gonna know bout it? just play dumb nd stay out of the spotlight. itll be easy

Joker: Keep in mind they suspect it’s students from our school -- which they are correct about -- and all the targets have taken place in Tokyo. They’ve narrowed down a city and a school.

Skull: akira. chill out. theres over 13 million people in tokyo alone and our school has over 1000 students in population. we’re gonna be fine. the only way they could know its us is if we spill it or if they catch us in the act

Joker: Funny seeing how Makoto found out due to you yelling that we’re the Phantom Thieves, and Futaba found out even though she never met us or left her house to have found it. She found out through hacking, Ryuji. Think of how many more hackers are out there that could find out.

Skull: akira were gonna be fine alright

Skull: also i said i was sorry about the makoto situation. besides it all worked out in the end how much longer r u gonna hold this agains me

Joker: For as long as necessary.

Skull: fuk.


August 20th 2017

2:49 pm


Kin Fam


Panther: akira have you heard anything yet?

Joker: She’s still sleeping.

Panther: we have one day until medjed cleanses japan

Joker: I’m aware. You reminding me of how little time we have isn’t helping anything Ann. I’m doing all I can. If she wakes up then I’ll let you know.

Panther: we’re almost out of time excuse me for being a little stressed

Joker: We’re all stressed right now. You guys constantly asking if she’s awake is only making things worse. I told you, I’ll let you know.


August 21st 2017

12:04 am


Akira Kurusu → Ann Takamaki


AK: Sorry for snapping at you earlier. We’re basically out of time and I’m incredibly stressed right now.

AT: it’s cool. i shouldn’t have gotten as offended as i did. you have a lot to deal with right now and we’re all stressed

AK: On that note, it is now officially August 21st.

AT: What do we do now?

AK: Wait. Like always.


August 21st 2017

1:22 am


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Hey are you awake?

YK: Why wouldn’t I be?

AK: It’s nearly one thirty in the morning.

AK: Oh wait, I forgot just how fucked up your sleep schedule is. Of course you’re awake this late.

YK: What can I help you with, Akira?

AK: I just need someone to talk to right now. Can you help?

YK: I can always help with that. I can’t promise that I’ll provide any useful insight, however.

AK: That’s fine.

AK: Well. It is now officially August 21st.

YK: The day of the Cleanse…

AK: Yeah…

AK: As far as I know, Futaba is currently still sleeping…

AK: I’m trying to give her the benefit of the doubt but. What if she really isn’t up in time?

AK: What if all of this was pointless and we’re going to be responsible for the Cleanse, whatever that means. Medjed is a group of hackers so who knows what they’re going to do to the country if we don’t stop them.

AK: I tried to think of a backup plan but there’s actually nothing we can do. Futaba is our only hope and she might not even be able to help us. What if we really don’t have a chance against Medjed?

AK: Is this our fault? It took us much longer to change Futaba’s heart this time around. What if we had acted sooner and quicker instead of goofing off?

YK: Okay first of all, we weren’t “goofing off.” We tried to get through her palace as efficiently as we could but given the heat and the depth of her palace, it was much more difficult than past palaces for factors we couldn’t control. With Kaneshiro we were at least able to shut off the cable boxes and security cameras. With Futaba’s palace, we had no control over the heat or the majority of the booby traps.

YK: We did what we could. It’s not our fault. All we can do right now is wait. Whatever happens happens. We did our part, now all we can do is hope it all works out. Usually it does, so just hold out hope that everything is okay.

AK: Hey uh..can I call you right now?

YK: Why?

AK: I just want to hear your voice.

YK: Of course.


August 21st 2017

1:26 am


Yusuke’s phone rang twice before he was able to answer it. On the other end, Akira’s tired voice breathed slightly into the receiver.

“Hello?” Akira said wearily. Something unknown to Yusuke was hidden in his voice.

“You sound tired. Why don’t you get some rest?” Yusuke duly noted. He set his phone on speaker mode and propped it up against a side table, one hand holding a pallet of paint and the other holding a brush.

“I can’t sleep.” Akira sighed. “This whole Medjed deal has my mind spinning. How are you holding up?”

“Fine. This entire situation has been a lot to handle but I find it best to keep my mind off of it as a whole. It makes it a little more bearable sometimes. I already have enough to deal with outside of Medjed. All we can do is wait, so might as well just sit back and wait.”

Akira laughed weakly. “I wish I had that option. As the leader, I’m kind of forced to think about it. Everyone’s looking to me for answers I don’t have yet.” There was shuffling on his end. Yusuke brought the tip of his paint brush to the canvas and traced a line of deep violet paint against it.

“You do have a lot more to consider than the rest of us. I can’t help but wonder how you manage to keep it together all the time.” Yusuke muttered. It seemed to him that Akira almost had too much control of his life. Somehow, he managed to balance out being leader of the Phantom Thieves with schoolwork, homework, studying and managed to make time for his friends and acquaintances. Not to mention all of this was happening in between targets and Mementos expeditions. Yusuke couldn’t help but watch in awe as Akira managed to do all of this without even batting an eyelash.

“You think I’m keeping it together? That’s hilarious.” Akira’s voice was dry, stoic. “Honestly I don’t know how I manage to do it all.” He exhaled slowly. “I don’t want to think about that right now. Why are you awake so late?”

Dark sangria dripped down the canvas in a way that just added to the affect. For the most part, Yusuke tended to try to avoid dripping but somehow in this painting it just worked out. “I got distracted by a project. Besides, why sleep when struck with inspiration? If I sleep now, I could lose that inspiration forever.”

Soft bristles against canvas filled the otherwise silent air of his dorm. The other students were absolutely sleeping right now. He had shut most of the lights off as not to disturb them, but he left a couple side lamps on so that he could still see his work.

“How long have you been working?”

“...What time is it?”

It only felt like an hour tops, yet somehow Yusuke doubted it had only been that long.

“It’s one thirty in the morning.”

“Um…” He didn’t bother running the mental calculations. “It’s been a while.”

He dipped the paintbrush in a can of water and rinsed it off. He brought the brush to his lips before dipping it in a light shade of grey.

“What are you working on?” Akira asked with interest. At least Yusuke hoped it was interest? He was never the best with that type of thing. “What’s the theme for this one?”

“The theme?” He pondered this a moment. “The theme is acceptance.”

“Festive,” Akira said. Yusuke could almost hear the smirk in Akira’s voice. “What’s your take on the concept? What do you think of when you think of ‘acceptance’?”

Yusuke was still trying to grasp that concept himself. “Hmm… Acceptance is a difficult theme to grasp. It could be acknowledging the existence of and allowing smaller details into you life, such as getting a certain type of coffee in the mornings or such. However, it also seems to me that it’s allowing the much larger and harder events into your life. Noting more complex sides of yourself and allowing it to be seen, and allowing yourself to stand up and grow after a harsh event that may have knocked you off your feet for a time. Does that make any sense?”

Inky black strands of paint dripped down the canvas, some of it splashing onto the easel. Akira’s soft breaths echoed, slightly warped through the receiver of the phone.

“Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually. I’d like to see this painting at some point, if that’s okay?”

“It’s not finished yet, but if you would like I would gladly allow you to stop by and view it.” With nothing but sporadic movements of Yusuke’s wrist, a few more strands of color were added.

“Sounds like a plan.” Akira agreed.

The conversation continued on a little while longer, going from topics such as Yusuke’s interest in art to that time Akira attempted the Big Bang Burger challenge and nearly vomited.

Akira stifled a yawn.

“It’s getting late. You should probably get some rest now.” Yusuke noted.

Akira groaned. “Do I have to?”

“Seeing as how the human body requires at least eight hours of sleep a night, yes.”

“What about you?”

“I’ll sleep in a little bit. I still have some work to finish up.”

Akira paused a moment. “If I go to bed now, do you promise that you’ll sleep soon too?”

Yusuke’s mouth tugged into a half hearted smile. “Of course.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Yusuke.”

“Goodnight Akira.”

And just like that, the line went dead.

Yusuke pressed the red “end call” button and shoved his phone into his pocket. An unfamiliar hum, almost like that of a live wire, shot throughout his body. He bit his lip and turned his attention back to the painting, determined to finish most of it in one night. Tomorrow he would finish it up. Well, that is, if they had a tomorrow.


August 21st 2017

10:36 am


Kin Fam


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to I lived bitch ~

Skull: hey uh

Skull: explain?

Joker: Futaba woke up.

Skull: shes awake??

Panther: she woke up!?

Queen: Perfect timing..

Joker: Yep she’s awake. I’m in her room right now. She’s working on dealing with Medjed. Her room is a mess…

Joker: I’m tempted to clean it for her. No one should live in this mess..

Fox: Don’t you live in an attic? I’m sure you’re used to living in that sort of mess.

Joker: Exactly why I’m going to clean it for Futaba. No one should live like that unless forced to, like in my case.

Fox: Fair.

Joker: Yeah I’m cleaning her room for her. I’ll put together a pile of shit that looks important that she can go through later.

Panther: well, i guess it’s the least we could do for her

Queen: How’s it going on her end?

Joker: She’s in her zone and she doesn’t look like she’s coming out of it any time soon.

Fox: Her “zone”?

Joker: Yeah. Her hacking zone.

Joker: Wait shit that sounds wrong.

Joker: You know what I mean right?

Skull: i getcha

Skull: is it anything like yusukes art zone?

Panther: that sounded worse than hacking zone..

Joker: Pretty much the same. She’s tuned out reality and everything around her, and is only focused on hacking. I’ll let her do her thing and in the meantime I’ll clean up her mess.


August 21st 2017

4:59 pm


I lived bitch


Joker: Futaba passed out again…

Panther: did she finish dealing with medjed?

Joker: Yep.

Joker: She finished, noticed how clean her room is, and then passed out.

Panther: mood?

Skull: how long has it been since she slept smh

Joker: The power of insomnia, I suppose.

Skull: so wat does this mean for us?

Joker: Huh?

Skull: no more cleanse?

Joker: No more cleanse. Medjed is taken care of.

Joker: We won, guys.

Joker: The most stressful month of my life is finally fucking over. Medjed is no longer a problem for us.

Panther: woo!!

Skull: hell yeah!!

Panther: we should celebrate!

Joker: How?

Panther: well we haven’t gone to the beach all summer. that sounds like it could be fun

Joker: The beach?

Skull: sounds good to me

Joker: If everyone else is okay with it I don’t have a problem with it.

Panther: we should ask futaba if she wants to come

Joker: Sure. Although we’ll probably have to get her used to being around people first.

Joker: I mean years of social anxiety aren’t just going to disappear right away you know? I was surprised that she was willing to come out of her room and walk over to Leblanc, but no one is ever here aside from Sojiro and myself. She seems comfortable around us I guess, so we’ll still have to get her used to other people.

Panther: understood

Skull: got it


August 22nd 2017

5:55 pm


I lived bitch


Joker: Ten days left of summer vacation. Operation “Get Futaba to Open Up To People” is a go.

Joker: Operation GFOP is a go.

Fox: “Gfop”?

Joker: Shut up, it’s better than GFTOTP.

Skull: pfft

Joker: Shut up.

~Futaba Sakura has joined the chat~

FS: lame name

Joker: What the hell how did you get here

FS: >:3c

Fox: Are you really asking that question? This is the same girl who took care of Medjed.

FS: exactly

Joker: Alright fair, that was a lame question

FS: whats the plan for tomorrow?

Joker: @Queen what’s the plan GFOP leader

FS: :\ that name is super lame

Joker: Shh.

Queen: Oh hello Futaba.

FS: sup

Queen: Tomorrow Yusuke, Akira and myself will be spending time with you in your room and we will try to have a basic conversation. That work for you?

FS: hhh i guess

Queen: Excellent. We’ll try to be there between one and one thirty. Akira will contact you when we’re on our way.

FS: (☞ຈل͜ຈ)☞

FS: later losers

~Futaba Sakura has left the chat~

Fox: What an odd girl..

Skull: uh huh


August 23rd 2017

2:18 pm


Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu


FS: hey

FS: akira

FS: your boyfriend is weird :\

AK: What?

FS: you heard me

AK: Who are you referring to?

FS: ಠ╭╮ಠ

FS: inari

AK: Yusuke?

FS: yeah

AK: He’s not?? My boyfriend??

FS: what

AK: We’re?? Not dating??

FS: ...are you serious?

AK: Yeah.


FS: hey

FS: akira

AK: Yeah?

FS: what the fuck are you doing

AK: What??

FS: just hop on his dick already smh we can see your pining from space

AK: Uh??

AK: No??

FS: coward


August 23rd 2017

3:28 pm


I lived bitch


~Futaba Sakura has joined the chat~

FS: alright what next team mom

Queen: Welcome back.

FS: yeet

Queen: “Yeet”?

Skull: dont worry about it makoto

FS: whats up for tomorrow?

Queen: Tomorrow you’ll be hanging out in someone else’s bedroom with Ann, Ryuji and Akira.

Skull: yeet

Panther: yeet

Joker: Yeet.

FS: hhhh

FS: ok ill do it

Joker: You just have to hang out in my room don’t worry it’ll be fine.

Joker: “My room” meaning a fucking attic but you know.

FS: :\ ok

~Futaba Sakura has left the chat~

Joker: She just keeps… fusing in?

Skull: howd today go?

Joker: Good? I think?

Joker: Yusuke earned a nickname

Skull: o yea??

Panther: What is it?

Joker: “Inari.”

Panther: fitting

Skull: thats extra af

Joker: So isn’t Yusuke what’s your point.

Skull: fair


August 24th 2017

6:00 pm


I lived bitch


~Futaba Sakura has joined the chat~

FS: yeet what next

Joker: Uhh what’s next for operation GFOP?

Queen: Tomorrow we have you help around Leblanc.

FS: hhhhhhh

Joker: I’ll be there with you the whole time. You’ll be okay.

FS: hh fine

FS: >:(

~Futaba Sakura has left the chat~

Joker: Well.

Joker: Hopefully we can go to the beach soon?

Queen: If tomorrow goes well? Soon, hopefully.


August 25th 2017

5:48 pm


I lived bitch


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Operation: GFOP ~

Fox: How did it go?

Joker: Not bad. Futaba nearly gave a customer a heart attack when she served him coffee while wearing that super creepy baby mask thing of hers.

Fox: I don’t think that is a baby mask but okay.

Joker: She did a good job. For the most part, she hung out in the back but she served coffee to some customers.

Panther: so??? what does this mean??

Joker: In a couple days, we should be able to go to the beach.

Panther: ooo when!

Joker: Well my schedule is booked for the next couple of days but perhaps… on the 29th??

Panther: awesome!

Panther: does futaba-chan have a swimsuit? i’ve been dying to go shopping

~Futaba Sakura has joined the chat~

FS: i dont have a swimsuit

Panther: you me and makoto should go shopping for one for you then

FS: ok

Panther: are you free tomorrow?

FS: yea,,,

Panther: perfect! we can go then!

FS: hhhhhh ok

Chapter Text

August 29th 2017

9:10 pm


Operation: GFOP


~ Joker has added Futaba Sakura to the group~
~ Joker has changed Futaba Sakura ’s name to Oracle ~

Joker: Officially welcome to the group.

Oracle: thanks

Joker: Feel free to shitpost in this group as much as you want. We try to keep the main group clear of that and stay serious in there.

Joker: Keyword: try.

Oracle: nice

Panther: so i guess we go back to school soon

Joker: Yeah…

Panther: september 2nd

Joker: Sigh..

Joker: You know it feels like we didn’t even have a summer this year. We were too busy stressing all summer, that it went by in a flash. Maybe it’s just me..

Panther: no i feel the same way

Joker: Did you get any nice memories with Shiho this summer?

Panther: i did! we went to the aquarium and looked at all the fish. afterwards we went out for ice cream! i actually got pictures if you want to see

Joker: Sure.

Panther: shiho.img

Panther: fish.img

Panther: gay.img

Joker: That’s?? So cute???

Panther: isn’t it? she looked adorable just admiring all the fish and i had to get pictures

Oracle: whos shiho?

Joker: Ann’s girlfriend.

Panther: yep!

Oracle: sounds gay

Joker: It is.

Panther: it’s very gay

Oracle: just as it should be

Panther: exactly

Joker: Hey, maybe we can get some nice memories before school starts up.

Panther: yeah!


August 30th 2017

3:19 am


Operation: GFOP


Joker: I heard somewhere that naming your kids after things that are important to you, so I would like to introduce you all to my future children “curry” and “blue hair twinks.”

Oracle: oof good idea

Oracle: everyone these are my kids base64 and phoenix featherman

Skull: r we just gonna look past the blue hair twinks comment or???

Joker: Skull what are you naming your kids?

Skull: uhhh

Skull: shoes and soda

Joker: Beautiful. I love them.

Skull: thank u i made them

Oracle: :\ that makes it sound like you built them in a lab

Skull: mayb i did who knows

Oracle: fair enough

Fox: These are some very uh

Fox: “Creative” names.

Oracle: inari what are you naming your future children?

Fox: I’d rather not have children.

Oracle: ok in a hypothetical situation in which you have kids what are their fucking names

Fox: “High quality paint,” “Canvas” and “Bean Sprouts.”

Oracle: can i be the godmother

Fox: Sure.

Joker: Can I be the godfather?

Fox: No.

Joker: Can I be the mother?

Fox: Sure.

Fox: our children, Curry, Blue Hair Twinks, High Quality Paint, Canvas and Bean Sprouts.

Joker: :’) I love our family.

Fox: If only I could say the same.



Queen: None of you should ever be having kids.

Joker: What are your kids names, Makoto?

Queen: Justice.

Oracle: thats it?

Queen: Sigh.

Queen: Justice and Brass Knuckles.

Oracle: perfect

Skull: idk man id stay tf away from brass knuckles

Oracle: wdym id spend all my time with her

Queen: Please don’t harass my imaginary children.

Oracle: i wouldnt harass her id have her harass people for me

Queen: Anyways, it’s 3:30 am why are all of you awake.

Fox: False. It’s 3:23 am.

Queen: Fine. Nearly 3:30 am.

Oracle: sleep is for the weak

Skull: i was playin fortnight

Oracle: you play fortnite?

Skull: yea

Oracle: fucking normie

Skull: hey im not a normie fuck you

Queen: Okay. Akira, Yusuke. What’s your excuse?

Joker: Morgana fell asleep and isn’t awake to yell at me.

Fox: Art.

Queen: Art?

Fox: Art.

Queen: Akira, Ryuji. Go to bed. Futaba, you go to bed, too.

Skull: yes mom

Joker: Okay Morgana

Oracle: nah

Skull: why aint u yellin at yusuke?

Queen: Yusuke go to sleep.

Fox: Not yet.

Queen: Go to bed.

Fox: As soon as I finish this project.

Joker: Yusuke that could literally take days.

Fox: Then I won’t sleep until then.

Joker: Yusuke. Babe. Please?

Fox: When I finish this.

Oracle: cant believe ryujis a fuckin normie

Skull: wat games do u play futaba smh

Oracle: uh dark souls cs:go dishonored hotline miami

Oracle: just to name a few

Oracle: but you know

Oracle: not fortnight

Skull: listen fortnight isnt that bad

Oracle: i bet you play pubg like the normie you are

Skull: pubg isnt that bad either

Oracle: normie

Skull: shut

Skull: u prolly play wow


Queen: Not that this isn’t endearing but go to bed.

Skull: fine

Oracle: fine


August 30th 2017

3:31 am


Futaba Sakura → Ryuji Sakamoto


FS: yo you awake

RS: yea

FS: you want to help me fuck with 12 year olds on garrys mod?

RS: hell yeah

FS: cool get on vc

RS: hell yeah


August 30th 2017

2:18 pm


Operation: GFOP


Fox: Akira is now cancelled.

Panther: that’s the 3rd time this week he has been cancelled

Oracle: owo

Queen: What did he do now?

Joker: I didn’t do anything bad this time!

Skull: r u sure bout that

Joker: I don’t understand what I did wrong??

Oracle: OwO

Panther: futaba please don’t use that face

Oracle: 0w0

Oracle: that better?

Panther: not really

Fox: Well. Akira went to go make coffee, however all of the coffee mugs except one were dirty. He didn’t feel like washing them out, so he jokingly suggested making coffee in a bowl. At least, I hope it was a joke. He then said, and I quote:

Fox: “Just drink it with your tongue.”


Oracle: pfffft

Queen: Are you serious?

Joker: You know, like a dog! Dogs like, lick the water in their water bowls when they need to drink water.

Skull: yusuke just hit his head against the counter hes just so disappointed

Queen: Akira…

Queen: Dogs lap up water to drink it. They use their tongues to lap up the water.

Joker: wait





Panther: joker are you serious


Fox: Okay I take it back. Ryuji is officially cancelled and I no longer want this man in my life.

Skull: yusuke :(

Oracle: *sad violins play in the background*

Panther: you know normally i wouldn’t be surprised but since yusuke is the one cancelling both akira and ryuji i’m a little scared

Queen: What happened…?

Fox: Ryuji is an absolute heathen is what happened.

Fox: Do you know those weird veggie chips in the shape of tubes?

Oracle: you mean these?

Oracle: veggie-straws.jpg

Fox: Yes, those.

Fox: Well, Ryuji is drinking soda instead of coffee and he decided to use one of those as a straw.

Queen: Are you serious?!

Panther: ew

Skull: it actually aint that bad

Fox: And suddenly, I no longer know anyone by the name “Ryuji Sakamoto.”

Skull: its kinda good

Fox: Hmm, what are these “blocked message” notifications coming up on my screen right now?

Fox:  Blocked.img

Joker: It’s good to be out of the dog house.

Fox: You wish.

Joker: Shit.

Skull: wait shit

Skull: YUSUKE 


Oracle: damn inari got some serious game

Fox: I’m going to ignore that comment.

Joker: Ryuji is shaking Yusuke and begging him to unblock him. Yusuke’s just straight up ignoring him god damn what a lad.


Oracle: once again

Oracle: damn inari got some serious game

Skull: can someone tell yusuke to unblock me this is bullying

Queen: Yusuke, Ryuji asks that you unblock them.

Fox: I would but I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.

Queen: Understandable.

Skull: HEY

Joker: Sucks to suck.

Fox: Akira I don’t know why you’re bragging, you’re still a heathen, too.


Joker: Well. Ow.

Skull: “sucks to suck”

Joker: Shut up.


August 31st 2017

12:04 am


Operation: GFOP


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Anti Laugh Track Establishment ~

Oracle: i mean

Oracle: i agree but why

Joker: It is currently twelve in the morning and I cannot sleep for the life of me. I decided maybe I would watch some tv, and low and behold, for some god forsaken reason Big Bang Theory is playing reruns. There’s nothing else on so I decided fuck it, maybe it’ll bore me enough so that I pass out.

Oracle: :\ what do you got against big bang theory

Joker: Everything.

Joker: You know what. This show plays the laugh track way too much

Oracle: its a sitcom akira what did you expect

Joker: I mean more than usual.

Joker: Seriously. They play this shit even when the jokes aren’t fucking funny and just

Joker: Don’t tell me when the fuck to laugh Big Bang Theory. Perhaps I just don’t understand your form of comedy but that one dipshit with the balding head making some science comment like a robot isn’t fucking funny it’s annoying.

Oracle: um excuse me

Joker: Yeah you’re fucking excused.

Oracle: sheldon is great fuck you

Joker: No.

Oracle: i dont know about you but damn

Oracle: if i wasnt ace id fuck sheldon

Joker: I might except the laugh track might play in the background and honestly I don’t need that stress in my life.

Oracle: fair

Skull: wh

Joker: Oh hey Ryuji.

Oracle: fuckin normie

Skull: im not an effin normie

Oracle: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ you say that yet you cant even write the word fuck

Skull: shut

Skull: akira y tf r u talkin about a laugh track

Joker: Because Big Bang Theory is an unfunny as fuck show and playing a laugh track doesn’t take away from that fact

Skull: u right

Joker: Hey Ryuji

Skull: yea?

Joker: Would you fuck Sheldon from Big Bang Theory?

Skull: wtf

Oracle: you think every time he nuts he shouts bazinga

Skull: kjhwdihlkhsklj

Joker: Absolutely.

Skull: the both of u have somehow made bbt even worse than it already is

Oracle: my job is done

Chapter Text

September 1st 2017

2:03 am


Anti Laugh Track Establishment


Fox: I’m out of pain.

Fox: *paint

Fox: Unfortunately I still have plenty of pain.

Oracle: relatable

Fox: I would paint in the common area but unfortunately it is two in the morning and that area is not accessible this late.

Oracle: do it anyway

Oracle: steal the paint

Oracle: b&e

Fox: I’ll pass. Tomorrow after school I can just go buy some more.

Oracle: do you even have money for paint?

Fox: I’ll figure something out.

Joker: Bitch you better not give up food to buy paint.

Joker: I will actually buy paint for you don’t even think about it.

Fox: Don’t do that?

Fox: I’m sure I can afford paint?

Joker: If you plan to survive the next month on bean sprouts just so you can get paint I will fight you.

Oracle: you would probably lose ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Joker: Maybe so.

Joker: I see you typing Yusuke, don’t you even try to fucking protest.


Fox: Fine.

Joker: At the very least, let me get you some food or something.

Fox: Okay.

Oracle: this is getting pretty gay

Joker: It’s always been gay what are you talking about.

Oracle: fair

Oracle: can one of you wake ryujis bitchass up he promised to play cs:go with me smh

Joker: It’s 2 am and we have school tomorrow?

Oracle: and? you and inari are awake

Joker: I was asleep but my phone woke me up, and Yusuke should get his ass to sleep.

Fox: Later.

Joker: No. Now.

Fox: Later.

Oracle: ಠ_ಠ

Oracle: yall are weak af

Oracle: i can stay up for days

Fox: Yes, but if I remember correctly, you tend to go into small comas afterwards.

Oracle: shut it

Oracle: sleep is for the weak

Joker: You actually sleep more than all of us. You just have very irregular sleep patterns.

Oracle: hey

Oracle: akira

Joker: Yeah?

Oracle: shut

Oracle: ill steal your bones

Fox: How exactly do you plan to go about that?

Oracle: same way we steal hearts

Oracle: just with bones

Fox: With a heart, we steal the target’s treasure. How are you going to steal bones?

Oracle: idk just steal the walls of the palace of something

Oracle: it doesnt matter how just know

Oracle: if youre not careful

Oracle: ill steal your bones

Fox: What do you intend on doing once you have the bones?

Oracle: build a throne

Fox: A throne of bones?

Oracle: yes

Oracle: once thats finished ill build a castle of bones

Joker: edgy.jpg

Oracle: hey akira

Joker: Yeah?

Oracle: (◔ ⌣ ◔) ⌐╦╦═─

Joker: Shit.


September 1st 2017

6:34 am

Anti Laugh Track Establishment


Panther: ew, i forgot how horrible waking up early is

Panther: why the hell were you guys up so late? i went to bed early and am still exhausted

Skull: this sixks

Panther: uh ryuji??

Skull: yah

Panther: did you have a stroke writing that? your typing is worse than normal

Skull: m stilk hakf askerp

Panther: alright then.

Joker: In retrospect maybe staying up until 3am on a school night was not the best idea.

Panther: you think?

Panther: i’m surprised morgana let you

Joker: He didn’t. He fell asleep before me so I stayed up longer.

Joker: Morgana just gave me a dirty look. Sorry Mona :(

Panther: hey you live in a coffee shop

Joker: Ya. What about it.

Panther: please never use the term “ya” again

Joker: We’ll see.

Panther: ...anyways can you bring in some coffee? i’m soo tired

Joker: Yeah, sure. I was planning on bringing some in for myself, anyway. Might as well share some.

Panther: thank you i owe you

Joker: Nah it’s fine. I got you covered.

Panther: you’re a blessing


September 1st 2017

8:59 am


Anti Laugh Track Establishment


Panther: hey remember how i said akira’s a blessing? i take it back

Oracle: what did he do

Panther: akira and ryuji both are gremlins that must be destroyed

Oracle: i mean

Oracle: yeah

Oracle: but why :|

Panther: sigh…

Panther: we have an assembly, right? akira decided to come in with headphones and was blasting some sort of rock song. he had one earbud in, one out, out of some respect for the school

Panther: some

Panther: however he still had it turned up pretty loud. i asked him to turn it down and what does he do?

Panther: he turns it up even louder

Oracle: pfft fair

Panther: you don’t understand. it’s so loud. the students around us can hear it.

Oracle: why is ryuji a gremlin?

Panther: he’s encouraging it


Oracle: (ʘ‿ʘ)

Oracle: what did they do

Panther: they started playing the fucking space jam theme. it’s,,, actually so loud? i didn’t know earbuds could play songs that loud?

Oracle: the crappy ones can. you know the shit ones that come with iphones and shit? the ones that hurt your ears if worn for too long?

Oracle: those ones blast music pretty loudly. its like everyone except you can hear it because they suck that bad

Panther: ...that would make sense.

Panther: breaking news: akira has removed both earbuds and has turned it up more

Skull: noone has yelled at us yet im living

Oracle: want me to bass boost it?

Skull: YES

Panther: NO

Oracle: ON IT

Oracle: is it working?



Oracle: (☞゚∀゚)☞

Oracle: all in a days work

Panther: futaba why would you do this

Oracle: >:3c

Queen: I was about to ask what that noise was but nevermind.

Queen: Of course Ryuji and Akira are responsible.

Panther: the volume has been turned all the way up, futaba bass boosted it, and somehow these nerds got hold of a paper cup and have both earbuds in the cup

Panther: students around us are shushing us

Fox: Shujin sounds like an experience.

Panther: ,,,you have no idea,,,

Panther: oh my god it got worse

Oracle: OWO

Panther: they started playing “i eat ass” by lil roblox

Fox: “I eat ass”?

Oracle: you know what ass eating is right

Fox: Unfortunately. However, that’s not what I’m asking.

Oracle: wait

Oracle: youre confused about the song?

Fox: Yes.

Oracle: it is,,,a gift to this world

Oracle: here take a listen

Oracle: its beautiful

Oracle: h ttps://


Fox: What did I just listen to and why.

Queen: I sincerely hope you didn’t play that in the middle of class.

Fox: No. I had earbuds.

Oracle: oof what kind?

Fox: They came with my phone so they’re not of very high quality.

Oracle: lame

Fox: There is a chance that someone around me heard it, but I had it turned down low so hopefully not?

Panther: futaba please don’t corrupt yusuke

Oracle: i wont ;3

Queen: Ann, whatever it is that’s going on over there, you may want to stop. I can hear it from all the way over here. Principal Kobayakawa just gave a dirty look in your general direction.

Panther: i’m trying to tell them to quit it but they just

Panther: don’t stop

Panther: i told akira to seriously turn it down and i swear he did the anime glasses thing

Panther: he then proceeded to switch the song to jellyfish jam from spongebob

Queen: Ann...that is so loud…


Panther: ...that’s because they’re playing jellyfish jam earrape…

Oracle: send?


Skull: yw


Panther: ryuji just fell on the floor he wheezed so hard

Panther: they are actually trying so hard to keep it together

Panther: nerds.img

Oracle: akiras face is so red holy hell

Fox: I was unaware he was capable of expressing that sort of emotion. Are they okay?

Panther: no.



Panther: okay akira just got his phone taken away and a detention

Fox: That is truly tragic.

Queen: I warned you…

Panther: ms chouno just swooped in here, took akira’s phone, handed him a detention slip and told him to see her after school

Skull: “it was worth it” - akira 2k17

Oracle: such an inspiration

Fox: I don’t know about that one.

Skull: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Skull: - akira 2k17

Panther: idk how ryuji didn’t get a detention either. he was actually in tears from laughing so hard.

Panther: he’s still laughing

Oracle: i fell out of my chair from laughing so hard

Panther: ryuji straight up fell


September 2nd 2017

12:45 am


Futaba Sakura → Ryuji Sakamoto


FS: hey

FS: ryuji

RS: yeah? what?

FS: you got no bones

RS: huh?!

FS: you got no bones

RS: the hellre u talkin about?

FS: you got no bones

FS: i stole them

RS: uhhh im p sure i have my bones still

RS: y would u even want my bones?

FS: build a throne

FS: throne made of bones of those who were supposed to play cs:go with me

RS: ah shit i forgot about that im sorry

RS: i passed out early last night. school n shit

RS: we can play now if u want


FS: ..yes

FS: your bones are still mine

RS: y the hell do u want my bones? my leg bone is a piece of shit and is kinda effed

FS: i told you im going to build a throne

FS: smh learn to read

RS: my bones will snap but k

RS: at least my leg bones will snap

FS: still gonna steal your bones


September 2nd 2017

2:58 am


Anti Laugh Track Establishment


Skull: someone pls stop futaba this is not ok

Oracle: >;3c


Oracle: whoops hand slipped >;33c

Fox: What is Futaba doing?

Oracle: nothing (▰˘◡˘▰)

Fox: Somehow I don’t believe that.

Skull: effin gremlin hacked fortnight

Oracle: its spelled fortnite but ok

Fox: Okay? What did she do?

Skull: in FORTNITE u have the option to dab

Skull: i spelled it right this time gremlin

Oracle: lame

Skull: shut it

Skull: so this demon child decided to hack my game so tht she can control when my cgaracter dabs

Oracle: ;3

Fox: And?


Oracle: huehuehue

Fox: That sounds like a you problem.

Oracle: inaris on my side

Skull: yusuke u suck

Fox: Futaba I am most certainly not on your side.

Skull: HA

Oracle: (ಠ╭╮ಠ)

Fox: I’m beginning to regret unblocking you, Ryuji.

Skull: wait no dont

Oracle: HA

Skull: FUCK

Skull: dude y r u even up its like 3am

Fox: I woke up a few moments ago.

Skull: dude for real?

Fox: Yes.

Skull: when did u fall asleep?

Fox: I’m not entirely sure when. Last thing I remember, I had decided to lay down for a bit, and suddenly I woke up and it was dark outside.

Skull: dude

Skull: when was the last time u got proper sleep

Fox: Just now.

Skull: before that i mean

Fox: Um.

Fox: I’m not sure.

Skull: dude. u have to sleep and eat properly

Fox: That can wait.

Skull: dude

Skull: how r u alive

Fox: I don’t know.


September 2nd 2017

4:12 pm


Anti Laugh Track Establishment


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Aloha Bitches ~

Panther: akira seriously

Joker: Ann we’re going to Hawaii how could I not.

Panther: sigh

Skull: ALOHA

Panther: we’re not going for another few days

Oracle: hawaii??

Joker: It’s for our class trip. We’re going to Hawaii.

Oracle: oof take pictures for me

Joker: Will do.

Panther: where’s kosei going?

Skull: uhhh

Skull: @fox where r u goin for class trip?

Fox: Los Angeles.

Panther: ooh nice. that’s where all the famous actors and actresses are

Skull: wheres la?

Fox: California.

Skull: oh

Oracle: get pictures of la too

Fox: Of course.

Joker: Can we just bring Yusuke to Hawaii with us?

Panther: i don’t think so

Joker: What if I say he’s for..anxiety or something?

Joker: You know, like an anxiety dog. Except he’s human, and uh…yeah.

Skull: they wont buy it dude

Joker: Damn.

Joker: Somehow I’m going to get you to Hawaii, Yusuke.

Oracle: thats gay

Joker: Shut.

Panther: that’s gay

Joker: You’re gay.

Panther: damn you got me there

Skull: jesus christ ur gonna bring that back?

Oracle: bringing it back? UwU

Skull: 1) dont make that face

Oracle: UwU

Skull: 2) yea bringing it back. they used to do that all the time

Oracle: OwO

Skull: do not

Fox: Have fun in Hawaii.

Joker: I’m gonna miss you in Hawaii.

Oracle: hey >:(

Joker: And you, I guess.

Oracle: :)

Chapter Text

September 8th 2017

3:32 am


Aloha Bitches


Joker: Hey are any of you awake? I’m trying to find the courage to get out of bed right now.

Panther: yep

Skull: yea,,,

Queen: Yeah.

Fox: Yes.

Oracle: yeet

Joker: Dammit this sucks

Joker: In retrospect when sojiro told me to go to bed early maybe i should have listened to him,,

Joker: Can one of you motivate me to get out of bed and get my shit together? We’re going to the airport soon…

Skull: i would but i still need to pack uh

Panther: ryuji i literally texted you last night to tell you to pack

Skull: i kno i just didnt care enough to listen

Panther: i would yell at you but i’m in the same position..

Skull: ann u were the one who told me to pack tf

Panther: i know and i started packing but

Panther: i got sidetracked

Skull: smh

Queen: The both of you better start packing now, then.

Panther: i’m working on it

Oracle: im not even going anywhere im just here to watch yall miss your flights and hack shit

Queen: They won’t miss their flights, I’m making sure of that.

Fox: What are you attempting to hack, Futaba.

Oracle: secret :3

Skull: i dont like the sound of that

Oracle: Akira will probably find out, soon.

Joker: That’s not assuring in the slightest but okay.

Joker: Do you still have Leblanc wire-tapped?

Oracle: yep :3

Joker: You ever plan on getting rid of that?

Oracle: nope C:<

Joker: God dammit.

Oracle: gotta collect that sweet blackmail

Joker: You’re probably just going to get Morgana yelling at me to sleep and anxiety but okay, sure. “Blackmail.”

Oracle: i wouldnt test me if i were you

Oracle: unless of course you want the rest of the pts to find out what i know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Panther: akira i would stop that

Joker: Now I’m kind of curious…

Skull: wait. futaba. u have leblanc wiretapped uh

Skull: yeah ok dont want to kno anything else going on up there

Joker: :\ This is homophobic

Queen: Akira, have you managed to get out of bed yet?

Joker: Uh. I’m sitting up so. Does that count?

Queen: No. Get out of bed and do what you have to.

Joker: Right.


September 8th 2017

10:10 am


Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu


FS: hey joker?

AK: Yeah?

FS: i noticed you havent made me mod yet in aloha bitches

FS: what gives akira

AK: I haven’t made you mod because you are not worthy of being mod.

FS: >:(

FS: make me mod

AK: Hmm… nah

FS: D:<

FS: make me mod

AK: Maybe when I get back from Hawaii

FS: but thats so loooong :’(

AK: It’s only a few days, don’t worry about it.

FS: grrr

FS: fine

FS: ill be holding you to that promise

AK: Of course.


September 9th 2017

11:03 pm


Aloha Bitches


Joker: No offense but can someone please tell Mishima to shut the hell up.

Joker: I don’t hate the kid, and he’s been really helpful so far. I can’t help but pity him, sometimes.

Joker: But honestly he needs to shut up. Please.

Skull: wats he doin

Joker: He keeps going on and on about the phantom thieves and the fan site. Does this dude ever stop worrying about that? We’re in Hawaii. Chill out.

Skull: for real?

Skull: dude needs to stop thinkin about that

Fox: That’s obnoxious..

Joker: Seriously.

Joker: So Yusuke how’s Hawaii?

Fox: Beautiful.

Skull: u got that right

Fox: It is very aesthetically pleasing.

Joker: Is it inspirational?

Fox: Something like that.

Oracle: uwu is inari purposely being vague

Fox: No?

Joker: He’s always vague like that.

Oracle: uwu

Joker: Stop that.

Oracle: vwv

Oracle: is that better?

Joker: Actually that’s worse.

Oracle:  (´ ꒳ ` ✿)

Joker: No.

Oracle: hows hawaii?

Joker: Honestly, aside from the majority speaking non-japanese, it’s not very different. There’s even a Big Bang Burger.

Oracle: can you bring me back some fries?

Joker: There’s literally a Big Bang Burger like 20 minutes away do you really want me to try to bring back fries from halfway across the world?

Oracle: ye

Joker: Sigh

Joker: Would you like some ketchup with it?

Oracle: no ew

Oracle: ketchup is actually disgusting

Joker: :\

Joker: I’m personally offended by that statement but okay, no ketchup.

Oracle: how r u gonna get ketchup from hawaii to japan in one piece that actually sounds so gross

Joker: That’s… fair, I suppose.

Skull: akira can u get me fries

Joker: Maybe.

Joker: Yusuke I’ll buy you all the fries.

Fox: I wasn’t going to ask?

Joker: Doesn’t matter. You’re getting fries.

Skull: futaba wat time is it in japan rn?

Oracle: like 6 am?

Skull: have u slept at all?

Oracle: I took a power nap yesterday afternoon.

Skull: ...fair

Joker: Mishima just passed out on one of the beds. Guess that means I gotta sleep, too.

Skull: gn

Oracle: weak

Fox: Goodnight.

Joker: Hasta la later heathens.

Skull: actually my roommate is annoyed that im still up ugh fine gtg i guess

Oracle: weak

Skull: it aint my choice

Oracle: and then there were 2..

Fox: Indeed.

Oracle: wait so what happened to la

Oracle: why are you in hawaii

Oracle: did akira manage to sneak you in?

Fox: No.

Fox: There were warnings of a storm in Los Angeles so they decided to go to Hawaii instead.

Oracle: oof

Oracle: how do the hotels feel about another random school of japanese kids showing up?

Fox: They probably are not very happy, however there’s really nothing that we can do about that.

Oracle: is kosei staying in the same hotel as shujin?

Fox: I believe so.

Oracle: oof nice

Oracle: make room for jesus ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Fox: I’m ignoring that last statement.

Oracle: >:(

Oracle: acknowledge me

Fox: Suddenly I can’t read

Oracle: D:<

Oracle: i will hack into your phone and make sure every few minutes it blasts gucci gang dont test me

Fox: Hmm…

Oracle: ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)


September 10th 2017

11:39 pm


Hawaii was interesting. For the most part, it felt almost exactly like Japan, just much hotter. On the bright side, at least Akira could say he went to Hawaii.

It wasn’t bad. In fact, it was actually pretty nice. The beaches were beautiful, he wasn’t stuck inside the same classrooms all day, he got to hang out with his friends. Really, it was pretty nice. Just, similar to Japan. At least there was less he had to worry about.

Ryuji and Mishima had dragged Akira around the beach with them all day. Apparently Akira had “a way of talking to girls” and they were “more likely to be interested if he were around.” He really wasn’t interested, but it made Ryuji and Mishima happy so he couldn’t protest too much. Although, listening to Ryuji complain about no one being interested or having to witness Mishima’s (bad) attempts at flirting were not the ideal way he would have preferred to spend his afternoon.

At some point, Ryuji and Ann had showed up in Akira and Mishima’s shared hotel room. Something about being locked out and not wanting to third wheel?

Ann sprawled out on one of the queen sized beds, the other one vacant. Akira had gotten stuck with the couch, but he supposed it was better than nothing. He could have ended up on the floor like Ryuji.

“Hey, Ryuji. I don’t think I got an actual answer.” Ann stretched. She rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her elbow.

“Huh?” Ryuji sat up slightly. “What are you talkin’ about?”

“What kind of girl are you into?” She twirled the end of one of her pigtails with her free hand.

Ryuji leisurely sat on his back, folding his arms underneath his head as a makeshift pillow. “Uh… I guess someone with a nice personality? Attractive inside and out.”

Ann made a face like she had taken a bite out of a lemon. “Okay, so imagine this. Two girls, both with equally attractive personalities, like you. They both ask you out, but you can only date one. Which one do you pick?”

“Hmm… I guess the one with the hotter body, then. Probably.”

Ann sighed. “So you really are that shallow, huh?” She shook her head. “I guess you do think looks are more important.”

“Wha -- HEY.” Ryuji shot up from the nest of blankets they had put together for him on the floor. “You didn’t say--”

“Your second answer was how you really feel.”

“You tricked me!”

“I didn’t trick you into answering, you were the one who said looks were more important.”

Ryuji opened his mouth to protest once more, but Ann cut him off before he could get a word out. “How about you, Akira? What do you look for in a date?”

Akira noted the gender neutral term, but said nothing about it. Gender didn’t matter much to him in terms of a dating partner, and all of them knew that. In a way, though, he almost did not want to answer the question. Ann already knew he harbored… some feelings… for Yusuke. Feelings that Akira wasn’t sure he fully understood just yet. He wasn’t ready to outright say it. Accepting it had been difficult for him, but outwardly admitting it was a whole new ballpark. At least, at this point, he could admit to himself that he felt something towards Yusuke.

He shrugged. “Someone with a unique personality, I suppose. I don’t have an exact ‘type.’” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, which for some reason he was still wearing, even though it was almost midnight, the room was pitch black and he was laying across a sofa. “Someone who stands out above the rest.”

Ann giggled. Ryuji turned towards Akira, an eyebrow raised. “Seriously? Dude, you basically just described all of us.” He flopped back down onto the fake futon. “All of us” meaning the Phantom Thieves. At least he was smart enough to not, once again, blurt out “HEY EVERYONE WE’RE THE MOTHER EFFING PHANTOM THIEVES COME ARREST US.” Maybe he didn’t quite say it, or mean it, like that but most of the time it came off that way.

“You have a point there.” Ann giggled again. “Hmm. Anyone in particular, Akira?”

“No.” The answer slipped from Akira’s lips before she had completely finished her statement. Even in his own ears, he sounded way too defensive.

A thick blanket of silence fell across the room. Akira shuffled uncomfortably, suffocating in the stillness. So much for being subtle.

“Um… you sure about that?” Ryuji stammered awkwardly. Skepticism coated his words.

Akira mentally face palmed. Even without looking at her, he could sense a strong, shit-eating grin from Ann’s direction.

He sighed, accepting defeat. Maybe he could steer the conversation elsewhere. “So what if there is?” His voice held a bitter edge to it, like a freshly sharpened knife.

Ryuji hesitated a moment. “Well?”

“Well what?”

“Who is it?”

“No one important.” Akira shrugged off the question in attempt to shut the conversation down. Somehow, Ryuji managed to dodge it.

“Do I know them?” He leaned forward a bit.

Akira debated lying, but in retrospect it would probably bite him in the ass. Ann already knew who he was interested in. Lying could potentially backfire on him. “Yeah.” He said in between clenched teeth.

Ryuji crossed his legs and tugged at one of the leather bracelets on his right wrist. “Can I guess who it is?”

“I can’t stop you.”

“Hmm… Boy or girl?”

Akira sighed once more. He ran a hand through his tousled hair. “Boy.”

“Is he… one of us?”

One of us.

A phantom thief.

Akira paused. Excluding him, there were only three male thieves, one of them being a cat. Did he really want to answer this question.

There was no getting around it. He could lie, in which case Ann would call him out. He could avoid the question and raise suspicion. He could remain silent, which in itself answered the question. Or… he could tell the truth. Really, either way, he was going to wind up spilling the beans. It just depended on which way he would rather answer.

In the end, Akira elected to remain silent. The answer hit Ryuji almost instantaneously.

“Dude. It’s Yusuke, ain’t it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I mean… he’s a Phantom Thief, ain’t he? There’s you, Morgana, Yusuke and me. I’m assuming you’re not so confident to the point where you’re in love with yourself, Morgana’s a cat and I’m at least half sure you ain’t a furry, it ain’t me, so… that leaves….”

Akira, once again, said nothing. His silence gave all the confirmation they needed, anyway.

“Have you thought about telling Yusuke?” Ann chirped.

Akira shook his head. “No. Not yet.”

“Why not?”

“I just… can’t. Not yet.”

So much could go wrong if he asked Yusuke out at that moment. There was still so much Akira didn’t know about his owns feelings, nevermind Yusuke. Akira knew he was attracted to Yusuke, at least a little bit. Every brush of their hands sent sparks flying through Akira’s body and made every one of his nerves buzz in excitement. Just being around Yusuke caused his heart to speed up a bit. There was a clear indication that he had feelings for Yusuke, and they were definitely positive feelings. Perhaps one day they could be more. Yusuke, on the other hand, was a wild card. He could never tell just what Yusuke was thinking. Akira prided himself on being the silent, observant type. When it came to Yusuke, he didn’t even know where to begin.

Ann hummed softly. “Why don’t you invite him to the beach with you tomorrow?” She suggested. “You know, watch the sunset with him or something romantic like that.”

Akira was tempted to protest, but before he could Ryuji popped back into the conversation. “Yusuke seems to feel somethin’ for you, I think. Even for someone who doesn’t express much emotion, it seems kinda obvious that you’re special. If the fireworks festival had anything to say about it, anyway.”

“...Fine.” Akira pulled his phone out of his back pocket and clicked it on. “I hate you both.”

Ann waved a hand at him dismissively. “You say that now, but you’ll thank us later when you’re making it with him behind a palm tree or something.”

He doubted it would go quite like that, but perhaps she was right about one thing…


September 10th 2017

11:59 pm


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Hey are you free tomorrow evening?

YK: I believe so. Why?

AK: Would you want to hang out on the beach with me tomorrow?

YK: Sure. That sounds nice.

AK: I’ll text you the details tomorrow.

YK: Of course.


September 11th 2017

12:01 am


Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu


FS: gayshit.img

FS: way to go

AK: Where did you get that?

AK: Were your reading that entire conversation??

FS: ;3

FS: gay.mp3

AK: You are an actual gremlin you know that?

AK: Did you seriously record that conversation?

FS: hehehe

FS: go get him ;3

AK: Gremlin.

AK: Does this mean you really do have my phone tapped too?

FS: you can figure that one out ;3

AK: You are an actual gremlin.

FS: maybe so ;3


September 11th 2017

1:38 am


Aloha Bitches


Panther: you know we’ve only been in hawaii a few days and i’ve lost track of how many girls have turned down ryuji

Skull: shut up!

Oracle: can you really blame them :\

Oracle: he has the sex appeal of a rhino



Panther: oh yeah? then explain why every girl turns you down

Oracle: probably a combination of his lack of sex appeal and his hot headed personality

Oracle: not very attractive

Panther: fair point

Skull: shut up!

Skull: i can get a girls number just you wait

Panther: oh yeah? you want to bet on it?

Skull: uh yeah actually i do

Panther: okay. you have until the end of the day to get a girls number. loser has to let the winner do whatever they want

Panther: obviously within reason

Skull: deal

Skull: ann get ready cuz ur gonna lose big time

Panther: oh yeah? let’s make this more interesting then

Panther: how about… winner gets to do whatever they want to the opposite sex within reason

Skull: huh?

Panther: you know. if i win then you, akira and yusuke will all have to accept punishment. if you win then futaba, makoto and i will accept punishment

Oracle: hey wait!

Oracle: i didnt ask for this!

Panther: think of it this way futaba, what chances does ryuji have of actually winning?

Panther: if/when he loses, you can do whatever you want to any of the boys

Oracle: (ʘ‿ʘ)

Oracle: anything huh

Oracle: hehehe >:)

Joker: This sounds like a weird sex thing and I don’t know how to feel.

Panther: NO

Joker: Although, gotta say, I really didn’t want to be dragged into this.


Skull: no

Oracle: (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

Chapter Text

September 11th 2017

7:01 pm


One thing Akira had come to learn about Hawaii was that while during the day it might have been hotter than Satan’s asshole, during sundown it suddenly became rather cold. Not Japan during the winter cold, but still cold nonetheless. Cold enough to require a light jacket or long sleeve shirt.

The sun slowly crept away, a golden orange blossoming in the sky, and across the ocean. Akira sat on one of the benches overlooking the sea, Yusuke right next to him. His silver-grey eyes  studied the ocean carefully, most likely taking in the scenery. Akira wondered what he was thinking about. Art, probably. The sunset was always a gorgeous scene to take in.

The wind rustled through the palm trees and the ocean waves, and a soft shiver ran through Akira. Yusuke cast him an unreadable look. “Are you cold?”

Akira shrugged. “A little bit,” he answered honestly. He had left his sweater in the hotel room, and hadn’t thought to bring a shirt down with him.

Yusuke shrugged off the pastel sweater he had and handed it to Akira. “Here. You look like you could use it more.”

Part of Akira wanted to protest. It was Yusuke’s jacket, didn’t he need that? But the other part of Akira, the part that was completely infatuated with Yusuke in every way, wanted to take the jacket and never give it back. Instead, he took it graciously and muttered a soft thanks.

As to be expected, the jacket practically swallowed Akira. Yusuke was taller, and had a broader frame, after all. “Don’t you need this?”

Yusuke shook his head. “Not particularly. The cold has never bothered me much.”

Right. Yusuke had a resistance to ice.

Akira nodded. He wrapped the thin fabric around himself a little tighter, and inhaled. He leaned back on the bench, his heart thudding rapidly against his chest. Akira wanted nothing more then to scoot closer, so that his thigh was pressed against Yusuke’s, and wrap Yusuke’s arm around him.

“How’s Hawaii been?” Akira asked. The words were different from what he wanted to say.

Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest. A black t-shirt that Akira had never seen him wear clung loosely to his frame. Was Yusuke really that insistent to not show his bare chest? “Boring, honestly. Mostly the teachers let us go off on our own during the day, and well. You know what that’s like.” Whatever it was he had been going to say was cut off. Was there more to it? “How’s it been for you?”

Akira made a face. “...Weird.”

“How so?”

“Aside from Mishima and Ryuji dragging me around to fail at picking up girls, the other night Ann asked me what type of person I was into.” Akira wrinkled his nose at the memory. That conversation had left a sour taste in the back of his throat, and a lot to think through. Of course, it had been cut short after they had to help Mishima, who was keeling over a toilet bowl vomiting. “It was kind of uncomfortable, but they’re just trying to be supportive.”

“...I see.”

Akira bit his lip, before quickly releasing. “Hey, Yusuke?”


“What’s your type?” He waited a moment before quickly adding “You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to.”

“Type? Of woman?” Yusuke shook his head. “None. They’re all beautiful in their own way, but I’m not particularly interested in any woman outside of an artist’s perspective.”

Typical Yusuke.

Akira crossed his legs. “What about...type of guy?”

Yusuke paused briefly, as if thinking over his answer. Anxiously, Akira tugged at the oversized sleeve of Yusuke’s sweater.

“I don’t have an exact ‘type’ but,” Something devious flashed across Yusuke’s face. “I suppose there is one…”

If Akira didn’t know any better, he would have thought that at the end of that statement, Yusuke sent him a knowing glance. Of course, he did know better. That didn’t stop the weird pang of jealousy. Who was Yusuke interested in? Had Akira just misunderstood the statement?

“Oh yeah? Who is it?” Akira raised an eyebrow.

“I think you know.”

Akira’s heart somehow managed to go faster than it already was. Any faster, and it would burst out of his chest. “Enlighten me.” A slight, hopeful smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth.

Yusuke turned towards Akira and cupped one cheek. Akira wrapped both of his arms around Yusuke’s neck. Akira was floating, everything inside was fizzy, like a carbonated soft drink. Everything was light.

Like the last piece of a puzzle, everything made sense. It all clicked into place. Akira leaned in slowly, wanting nothing more than to fill the distance between them. His heart cried out in yearning.

Right then and there, as if some God truly detested Akira, a loud beeping that Akira would later recognize as his phone called out. Akira let out a yelp he would deny until the day he died and pulled away abruptly.

“Jesus Christ..” Akira hissed. He put a hand over his chest and allowed his gaze to return to Yusuke. “Well… that killed the mood.”

Yusuke brushed his soft bangs to the side, only for them to fall back into place. “That was one way to ruin the moment.” He shook his head in disbelief. “We should probably call it a night and head back to the hotel. The sun is set and if we’re not back by curfew then we’re in trouble.”

Akira bit back a whine. Everything inside him protested, and yelled at him to reset the mood, but he knew there was no way to recover from that. Instead he nodded once. “You’re probably right. We should head back.”

Yusuke stood and offered Akira a hand, which he graciously accepted. A simple ink design coated the inside of Yusuke’s left wrist.

“What’s on your wrist?” Akira wondered out loud.

“It’s a stick and poke tattoo.” Yusuke muttered. He began walking back in the direction of the hotel, Akira following close behind. “I got bored, and tattoos have always been fascinating to me.”

“Can I see it?”

Yusuke held out his arm to Akira and allowed him to examine the tattoo. It was small, a simple kanji character: "皇"

The character for "emperor."

Akira had expected Yusuke to go for a more extravagant design.

Akira traced the mark with the pad of his finger. “I never would have pegged you as the tattoo type. What inspired this?”

“Tattoos are still art. The only difference is that your skin is the canvas.” Yusuke tugged open the door to the hotel and held it open. Begrudgingly, Akira let go of Yusuke’s arm and entered the hotel lobby.

“Would you consider getting any more tattoos when you’re old enough?” Akira asked. Typically, tattoos seemed to have a bad representation. If someone was seen with a tattoo, the majority of the time they were associated with gangs and it was assumed to stay away from them. That wasn’t always the case, but as everything did, there was some truth in the statement.

“Of course.” Yusuke approached the elevator and pressed the button to the side. “I don’t see what should stop me from doing so. My body is a canvas, so I should be able to mark it as I desire to.”

The elevator doors opened. Akira jammed the button for the third floor with his thumb. “You have a point. Have you ever considered becoming a tattoo artist?”

“A tattoo artist? That’s always a possibility.” Yusuke crossed both of his arms over his chest. “There’s a lot I would have to take into account, but that is always a possibility.”

A smile crossed Akira’s face. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and clicked it on. “Hey, take a picture with me.”


September 11th 2017

9:10 pm


Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu


AT: so?? how’d it go?

AK: 11.9.17.img

AK: That’s how it went.

AT: omg you guys are actually adorable in that picture

AT: you should smile like that more often

AK: Thanks for the suggestion but no.

AT: wait

AT: akira

AK: Why are you typing like Futaba?

AT: shut it

AT: akira is that yusuke’s jacket??

AK: What?

AT: in that picture. you’re wearing his jacket.

AK: Yeah? It got cold and I didn’t have a shirt on so he offered me his sweater. He had an actual shirt, not to mention a weird resistance to cold because of Goemon, probably, so he gave me his jacket. I tried to give it back but he told me to keep it.

AT: that’s actually so sweet what the hell

AT: akira he totally has feelings for you

AK: I mean

AK: I guess so.

AT: you guess?

AK: Yeah… I think he does, too.

AT: that raises another question

AK: And that question is?

AT: why haven’t you asked him out yet?

AK: Um.

AK: I’m going to hold off on that one.

AT: what?? why?

AK: It’s complicated.

AT: what do you mean? you like him, right?

AK: Yes. I do like him. But here’s the thing.

AK: I don’t think I want to ask him out.

AT: what??

AK: Obviously I wouldn’t be opposed to dating him at some point but right now I just want things to progress naturally.

AK: I’m not just going to be like “hey you almost kissed me earlier before one of my asshole friends decided to text me and completely ruined it but that’s fine you hinted at having feelings for me we should date.”

AK: That would be really rushing it.

AT: wait he almost kissed you

AK: What no I didn’t say that.

AT: you did say that!

AT: not to say i told you so but

AT: i told you so

AK: Shut up.

AT: wait so he made the first move?

AK: I guess you could say that..

AT: damn who knew yusuke could be so smooth


September 12th 2017

4:10 pm


Aloha Bitches


Oracle: welcome back to japan

Joker: Thanks.

Skull: man that trip was a let down…

Joker: Says you.

Oracle: hey akira

Oracle: now that youre back

Oracle: i remember you promising me that you would make me mod

Joker: I didn’t promise that I would make you mod, I said I might make you mod when I get back.

Joker: And now that I’m back and am absolutely jet-lagged, I think I’m going to pass on making you mod.

Oracle: >:(

Skull: dude u would make futaba mod but not me?

Oracle: you dont deserve to be mod ryuji

Skull: neither do u u would just fuck with the chat

Oracle: lmao you right :3

Joker: Both of you zip it, I’m not going to make either of you mod. Makoto and I are the only moderators in this group and we will be the only moderators.

Oracle: akira make me mod

Joker: No.

Oracle: make me mod

Joker: No.

Oracle: make me mod

Joker: No.

Oracle: make me mod or i will hack into your phone

Joker: You already did that. Answer is still no.

Oracle: >:(


September 12th 2017

8:02 pm


Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu


FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: make me mod

AK: No.

FS: akira make me a damn mod

AK: No.


September 13th 2017

10:12 am


Aloha Bitches


Oracle: im gonna ask nicely one more time

Oracle: akira please make me a mod

Joker: No. Stop asking.

Oracle: why wont you make me a mod

Joker: You’re not worthy of that kind of power

Oracle: lmao youre probably right

~ Oracle has removed Fox from the chat~

Joker: Hey Futaba?

Oracle: yea?

~ Joker has demoted Oracle ~

Joker: You’re no longer a mod :)

Oracle: shit

~ Joker has removed Oracle from the chat~

~ Joker has added Yusuke Kitagawa to the chat~

~ Joker has changed Yusuke Kitagawa’s name to Fox ~

Fox: What just happened?

Joker: Futaba happened.

September 13th 2017

10:14 am


Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu



AK: :)

FS: add me back

AK: Nah.

FS: youre a bitch

AK: You can’t one up me :) No matter what you do, I’m always one step ahead. Why do you think I’m the Leader.



September 13th 2017

10:16 am


Aloha Bitches


~ Futaba Sakura has joined the chat~

FS: surprise bitch :)

Joker: Saw that one coming.

Joker: Demon child.

~ Joker has changed Futaba Sakura’s name to Oracle ~

Joker: Welcome back to the land of the living I guess.

Oracle: thanks

Oracle: but i think i can make this better

Joker: What are you talking about?

~ Oracle changed Joker’s name to Nasty Crimeboy ~

NC: Wow :\

~ Oracle has changed Skull’s name to Normie ~

Normie: wh??

~ Oracle has changed Panther’s name to Furry ~

Furry: i’m not a furry??

Oracle: your metaverse outfit says otherwise >:3

Furry: what about yusuke’s outfit? he’s the one with the fox tail and mask

Fox: Don’t throw me under the bus like that, please.

Oracle: dont worry about that >;3

~ Oracle has changed Fox’s name to Fox Fucker ~

FF: That’s illegal..

Oracle: is that really what youre worried about

Normie: dude has a fair point

Oracle: at least hes not a normie

Normie: im not an effin normie!

Oracle: nor

Oracle: mie

~ Oracle has changed Queen’s name to Phantom Mom ~

PM: Futaba is this really necessary…?

Oracle: i speak the truth

~ Nasty Crimeboy has changed Oracle’s name to Gremlin ~

Gremlin: thats,,,fair


FF: I didn’t ask for this.

~ Gremlin has changed Fox Fucker’s name to Akira’s Sugar Daddy ~

ASD: That’s incorrect.

NC: I mean…

NC: I’ll accept that one.

Furry: isn’t a sugar daddy supposed to have money?


ASD: Please don’t out me like this.

ASD: I was already outed once.

Normie: never thought id see yusuke say “dont out me like this”

NC: I just choked

Gremlin: i bet u did u thot :\

Gremlin: wait hold on

Gremlin: wouldnt akira be the furry since hes thirsting after that fox ass or???

PM: Futaba please stop.


Normie: dude,,,

Normie: something u want to tell us bro?

NC: No.

NC: I can say with complete confidence that I am not a furry and have never experienced any form of sexual attraction towards animal suits.

NC: This has been fun but Futaba you saw this coming.

~ Nasty Crimeboy has demoted Gremlin ~

Gremlin: this is cyberbullying

~ Nasty Crimeboy has changed their name to Joker ~

~ Joker has changed Normie’s name to Skull ~

~ Joker has changed Furry’s name to Panther ~

~ Joker has changed Akira’s Sugar Daddy’s name to Fox ~

~ Joker has changed Phantom Mom’s name to Queen ~

~ Joker has changed Gremlin’s name to Oracle ~

Joker: There we go.

Joker: Futaba stop making yourself a mod

Oracle: :( this is bullying

Joker: Anyways, meet at the underground walkway today after school. Futaba, you analysed the data from Sae’s laptop, right?

Oracle: i did >:)

Joker: Perfect. Soon, we’re going to have to discuss our new target. It seems there’s plenty of targets the media has picked out for us, so we just have to pick one we think is worthy of our attention.

Chapter Text

September 13th 2017

2:16 pm


Aloha Bitches


Joker: Guys. We gotta talk about this.

Queen: Principle Kobayakawa passed away..

Joker: They’re ruling this as a suicide but…

Joker: Listen. I never cared for Principal No-neck but..

Skull: somethin about it aint right

Joker: Exactly.

Queen: Joker, can we not refer to him as “Principal No-neck” right now?

Joker: Right. Sorry. I’ll try to be a bit more respectful.

Queen: Thank you.

Joker: We have to talk about this at the hideout.. Just… after school, meet up at Leblanc. There’s something very wrong about this.

Skull: gotcha

Queen: Understood.


September 13th 2017

4:04 pm


“Before we talk about the data we got from Sis, we need to discuss the incident with Principal Kobayakawa.”

Makoto stood in the center of Leblanc’s attic. Somehow, she had already taken the lead of the meeting, yet it had barely even begun yet. In a way, she was like the second leader of the Phantom Thieves.

Ann shifted uncomfortably. “People are already talking about it online.”

Yusuke sat on the edge of Akira’s bed, his phone in hand. He flicked through posts people had made in concern to the passing of Shujin’s former principal, as well as what others had been saying on the phan-site regarding the newest target. Some posts were rather nice, saying things like “take your time ^_^” and “the phantom thieves are just~.” Most of them, however, were… very aggressive. People were getting impatient. Yusuke couldn’t help but feel slightly annoyed, especially given that it hadn't even been a month since they had taken down Medjed. Finding a target took time. It would be difficult to find someone more famous than Medjed.

“Nobody’s sayin’ it’s ‘cause of the Phantom Thieves….” Ryuji muttered. “...So far.” The last part was quickly tacked onto the statement.

Yusuke scrolled through more posts. “People think he did it because that tabloid exposed how he was covering up Kamoshida’s abuse.” He explained. The majority of the statements he had seen in regard to Kobayakawa, or “Principal No-neck” as Akira preferred to call him, had something to do with all the secrets that he had tried -- and failed -- to cover up. The majority of it did, in fact, referred to how nothing was done about Kamoshida. Students were sexually and physically abused by Kamoshida, and yet Kobayakawa had done nothing to prevent it. It had taken three high school students and a cat to put a stop to it, and even then, just because they were no longer being abused didn’t mean that the memories didn’t haunt them. Yusuke knew all about what that was like.

Ann ran her thumb across her bottom lip thoughtfully. “Could it be that we’re responsible for Principal Kobayakawa’s suicide..?”She scuffed at the ground with the toe of her shoe. “If we hadn’t changed Kamoshida’s heart, maybe this would never have happened.”

Ryuji snorted. “Then Kamoshida would have kept doing what he did if we didn’t take him down.” A familiar flash of anger crossed his face. Yusuke never understood how Ryuji was so expressive with his emotions. Then again, Yusuke supposed when something was drilled into someone’s head enough times, it was hard to get it out. Maybe that explained why he didn’t understand most emotions. After all, Madarame had basically trained him to keep all his emotions inside and turn them into art instead.

“There’s a lot of opinions online.” Futaba stated. She sat at the table in Leblanc’s attic, several tabs open on her lime green laptop. “‘It’s only natural he died.’ ‘Covering up crimes is wrong.’” She shook her head. “What do you got, Inari?”

“The comments I’ve seen are similar as well.” Yusuke turned his attention back to his phone screen and read off two of the comments on screen. “‘Only the Phantom Thieves are on our side.’ ‘I wish the Phantom Thieves would take down the police and politicians of this country.’”

Ann sighed. “It’s not just the news. There’s Phantom Thieves merchandise now. I never expected we’d end up as such a big deal…”

Yusuke was tempted to add that they were also wanted criminals so they were, in fact, a “big deal” but inevitably decided against it. “It seems like the public would rather believe in us than in the adults. People are trying to get the Phantom Thieves to solve societal problems, not just personal ones.”

The girl hugged her arms to her chest. “This is kinda scary..”

Makoto pinched the bridge of her nose. “Are we really doing the right thing?”

Ryuji tugged at the leather band on his wrist. “I mean… the principal was coverin’ stuff up, right? In a way, he kinda got what was coming to him…”

Morgana flicked his tail in annoyance. “Guys, we’re getting off topic. Weren’t we going to discuss the information we got from Sae Niijima?”

Futaba nodded. Her fingers flew across the keyboard of her laptop. She sighed. “You tell them, Inari.”

“Why me…?” He wondered out loud. With a shrug, he clicked his phone off and approached her. She scooted her chair over to allow him to read the information on her laptop screen. “First, Prosecutor Niijima has been looking into the continued cases of people suddenly collapsing. It seems she is searching for a common thread to tie them all together. Some parts seem to be speculation, but she has cited a beneficiary of the majority of these incidents.” The room went silent. Everyone’s eyes were suddenly on him, with the exception of Futaba who was anxiously playing with the cord of her headphones. “The corporation Okumura Foods. More specifically, their CEO, Kunikazu Okumura.” Looks like Sae Niijima did have information they needed. Okumura had to know something about the mental shutdown cases.

“Okumura…?” Ryuji repeated the name, as if testing it out. “I feel like I’ve heard of that somewhere before…”

“Big Bang Burger.” Akira chimed in. He hadn’t said anything the entire meeting thus far. He hadn’t spoken much to Yusuke since the beach in Hawaii, either. “The company Okumura Foods owns Big Bang Burger.”

Ryuji took a step back. “Big Bang Burger?! For real?!”

Ann made a noise of realization. “You know, they only got famous sometime within the last few years. I mean, they even had a branch in Hawaii.

Futaba clicked on a different tab she had open on her laptop, then highlighted a statement with her mouse. Expectantly, she looked up at Yusuke and tapped on the screen.

So she had done a bit of research. Quickly, he scanned what she had highlighted. Yusuke wasn’t entirely sure why Futaba had appointed him as her translator, but he did appreciate the bit of guidance. “It says here they benefited both from scandals and the resignations of their competitors’ executives.”

That sentence in general raised a few mental alarms. What had happened to the other fast food restaurant chains that had terminated the vast majority, if not all of them? Something about it just didn’t settle right with him. Not all of them could have been victim to scandal, nor could they have all randomly decided to close for business. Clearly something more sinister was going on behind the scenes.

Makoto crossed her arms. “That would seem to be the case…”

Morgana shook his head. “This is too suspicious. Only one CEO is profiting from these seemingly ‘accidental’ incidents. I think it’s natural to suspect he’s intentionally causing them.”

“I get that, but still…” Makoto began.

“We have even more evidence than that. Tell them, Futaba.”

Futaba nodded. She input something into her laptop. “I already tried inputting Okumura’s name into the Nav. He has a palace for sure.”

“That settles it then! He’s our next target.” Ryuji exclaimed.

“That’s right. Okumura is at the top of the rankings, after all.” Morgana agreed.

Something about that didn’t seem quite right. They were jumping the gun a bit. There was still a lot of information that was left unknown. They weren’t even sure if Okumura was guilty of anything.

Yusuke shook his head. “Hold on. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s evil. We can’t  jump into this too carelessly. Beyond that, this Phantom Thieves fad is rather… unsettling.” The idea of people voting on who’s heart they wanted to change next rubbed Yusuke the wrong way. They were supposed to be choosing targets based on their crimes, not based on what others wanted. It didn’t make sense as to why everyone was suddenly so focused on fame instead of justice. The whole reason he had become a Phantom Thief in the first place was to expose criminals for their crimes.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. The excitement levels don’t feel ‘normal,’” Ann said. She put “normal” in air quotes. “We might want to let things calm down first.”

Ryuji scoffed. “You too, Ann? You’re just gonna go against what people want?”

“Huh? No, but…”

“...For real?”

Futaba held her hands up. “Uh...l-looks like we’re not going to agree today, then…”

Morgana made a noise somewhere between a growl and a hiss. “Sheesh, some team you are then. What’s with all the hesitation?! I can’t stand this.” He turned his attention towards Ryuji. “Even you, Ryuji. You just back down the second someone disagrees with you. I guess all you’ve been talking about is using the Phantom Thief name to pick up girls, anyway. Being hyped up because of the popularity is fine, but getting conceited over it is unacceptable.”

“Hey, aren’t you actin’ for your own benefit too?” Ryuji growled.

“My appearance might have changed, but I’m still an admirable human. At the very least, I’m more admirable than some carnal blond monkey.”

Ryuji’s hands balled into fists, as if ready to punch the cat. “You little..!”

Morgana turned his back. “Fine. I can take on some small-time target like Okumura on my own.” He flicked his tail. “Sorry. Looks like I’ll be getting all the credit for solving this mental shutdown mystery.” He hopped off the table before anyone could say anything else. “Looks like I don’t belong here after all. Well, this is goodbye.”

Just like that, he took off.


September 13th 2017

6:49 pm


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Hey can we talk for a moment?

YK: Of course. What’s on your mind?

AK: I just wanted to talk about what happened back there. With Morgana and Ryuji.

AK: You raised a major concern. We really can’t jump the gun on these things, and it seems like the popularity has been getting to everyone.

AK: Sorry I wasn’t more help. I don’t really know how to handle people arguing like that.

YK: Don’t worry about it. Perhaps I should have just kept my mouth shut, and by now we’d all be going after Okumura.

AK: No. Don’t say that. You brought up a good point. I don’t know why Morgana got so bent out of shape about that. We really did need to hear that.

AK: Are you doing okay?

YK: Yes.

YK: I think.

AK: You think?

YK: Yes?

AK: Yusuke… are you okay?

YK: Honestly?

YK: Not exactly.

AK: What’s wrong?

YK: There’s just a lot I need to deal with. Don’t worry about me, alright?

AK: Don’t tell me not to worry about you. You mean everything to me, and you’ve been through so much. Madarame put you through so much bullshit yet no one stops to think about how that affected you. In general you’ve been put through so much bullshit, yet everyone just brushes it off and you don’t say anything about it. Hell, after everything with Madarame, you haven’t said anything about how you’re doing, mentally or emotionally. You are one of the most important people in my life so do not tell me not to worry about you.

AK: ...Sorry. That was a lot.

YK: It’s okay. It never really occurred to me that my mental state might have actually crossed your mind.

YK: Has Morgana come back yet?

AK: Not yet but don’t change the subject. I’m not done worrying about you.

YK: There’s no need for that.

AK: Of course there’s a need for that. You’re a human being with genuine emotions, yet you keep it all inside and act like it’s not there. That’s really not good for you, you know?

AK: You never say anything and then act like it’s all okay. I won’t force you to open up about it, but just know that you mean everything to me. Okay?

YK: ...Okay.


September 14th 2017

8:04 am


Aloha Bitches


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Have you seen this Human Kin? ~

Queen: I take it by the name change that Morgana still isn’t back?

Joker: No..

Skull: he’ll prolly be back just give it some time

Joker: You sure? He didn’t yell at me to go to bed last night and he would never miss that opportunity unless he has to.

Skull: dont worry bout it hes just a little butthurt that we pointed out wats wrong with stormin into okumuras palace without any proof of the shit hes done

Queen: That may be true, however based on what we know, Okumura may have some ties to the mental shutdown cases. It wouldn’t hurt to at least look into it.

Joker: Still, we don’t have any definite proof of that. There’s a lot about Okumura we don’t know just yet.

Queen: Does anyone else find it the least bit suspicious that Okumura is at the top of the rankings?

Joker: Hmm… There is definitely something wrong about all of this.

Skull: have u seen this cat? hes bout this tall and thinks hes human but we havent had the talk

Joker: asdjkhlkkjlfshkjerfjk

Queen: Ryuji…

Joker: No he has a point.

Joker: Missing cat, thinks he’s human.

Queen: If Morgana thinks he’s human then we should respect that.

Joker: Okay but real talk for a moment. Do you think he went into Okumura’s palace by himself…?

Queen: It’s possible. Do you think we should check?

Joker: If he’s not back by tomorrow, that seems like a good idea…

Joker: I’ll keep you guys updated. Now I have to go because Kawakami is giving me a dirty look. At least she doesn’t throw chalk at me like that one asshole Ushimaru.


September 15th 2017

12:11 am


Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa


FS: yo inari

FS: you awake?

YK: I am.

FS: perfect

YK: Is there something I can help you with?

FS: youre an artist

YK: I am an artist. Thank you for noticing.

FS: shut up im not done

FS: do you do digital art by any chance?

YK: No. I haven’t done much with digital art, but I would be interested to take it up at some point. However, I much prefer traditional art

FS: :\

FS: alright whatever i can work with this

YK: Why?

FS: do you take commissions?

YK: Not usually.

FS: can i commission you?

YK: Depends. What do you want drawn?

FS: uhhhhh

FS: do you do nsfw art?

YK: Typically, no.

FS: what if i pay you extra

YK: How much?

FS: :\ how did i know that would get your attention

YK: Because I’m broke and am constantly in need of money?

FS: you right

FS: alright listen heres the deal

FS: all this shit with mona going missing is kinda stressing me out and i need something to take my mind off of it

FS: ill bet that you could use a distraction too

YK: Okay. Where exactly are you going with this?

FS: im going to pay you to draw me something

FS: fully colored

FS: as detailed and intricate as you want

FS: to help the both of us

FS: sound good?

YK: That depends. What exactly do you want me to draw?

FS: something cursed

YK: You mean like half of Akira’s personas?

FS: that wasnt what i meant but yeah youre right

FS: the fucking devil sitting on a toilet was kinda gross

YK: I’m not a fan of the weird centipede mask claw...thing.

FS: i think i know which one youre talking about i hate that thing so much

FS: uhhhh rangda i think it is?

YK: Honestly it’s hard to keep track of all his personas

FS: yeah

FS: ok but

FS: whats the most cursed thing youll draw?

YK: That depends. What are you thinking?

FS: would you draw sans x papyrus skull fucking?

YK: I would much rather not.

FS: fair enough

FS: what about futa jail break from the emoji movie x smiler smut?

YK: You’re really pushing it with that one.

FS: furry eric cartman mpreg?

YK: Why would you even want that?

FS: i didnt come here to be questioned

FS: will you draw it or not?

YK: ...Fine.

FS: wait seriously

YK: I’m getting paid for this, right?


FS: can i get mpreg freddy fazbear art?

YK: Okay.

FS: are you serious

YK: Yes.

FS: holy shit you are a blessing

FS: how much would that cost

YK: Your dignity.

FS: thats...fair

FS: ok but for real how much

YK: 3000¥

FS: total?

YK: Yes.

FS: ok for your sanity can i also commision actual art

YK: Yes.

FS: can i get phoenix ranger featherman r fanart

FS: all 5 of the rangers

YK: Okay.

FS: how much is that??

YK: also 3000¥

FS: ok

FS: i can pay you tomorrow

YK: Okay.

Chapter Text

September 15th 2017

8:12 pm


Have you seen this Human Kin?


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Beauty Kin Support Group ~

Joker: So. Beauty Thief, huh.

Joker: Now we know who’s doing Morgana’s dirty work..

Skull: so wat do u think leader? we doin this?

Joker: What we’re doing is trying to bring Morgana back.

Queen: That Beauty Thief seemed vaguely familiar. I recognize her from somewhere, but I don’t entirely know where…

Skull: yea i get that feeling too

Skull: u think she goes to our school?

Queen: It’s..certainly possible.

Queen: Tomorrow we can look through the student records and see if anyone seems familiar.

Joker: “We”?

Queen: Yes, we. Meaning those of us who attend Shujin Academy will be looking through the records.

Skull: all of us?

Queen: Yes. You too, Ryuji.

Joker: What about Ann?

Queen: Her, too.

Joker: @Panther you’re helping look through student records.

Panther: me too?

Joker: Yep. If the rest of us have to, so do you.

Panther: damn

Queen: The more of us helping, the quicker it’ll go by. It would benefit us to know who exactly “Beauty Thief” is.

Panther: fair enough. i’ll help out.

Joker: Me too.

Skull: i guess i got nothin better to do

Queen: Perfect. After classes, meet in the student council room.

Skull: gotcha

Panther: sure thing.

Joker: Got it.


September 16th 2017

2:04 am


Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa


FS: yo inari hows the art going

YK: I’m working on it. It takes time, not to mention I have other priorities.

FS: i know i was just wondering

FS: hows mpreg freddy?

YK: I haven’t started on that one yet.

FS: saving the best for last?

YK: Something like that.

FS: ok

FS: so

FS: i have a request

YK: Okay?

FS: in a southern accent

FS: can you say “its high noon”

FS: ???

YK: Why would I do that?

FS: because

FS: you sound just like this overwatch character

FS: and his thing is that he says “its high noon”

YK: It’s two in the morning?

FS: :\ your point?

FS: just please say its high noon?????

YK: I’ll pass.

FS: inari

FS: inari pls

YK: No.

FS: inari

FS: what if i pay you


YK: ...I’ll consider it.

FS: damn how broke are you?

YK: Very.

FS: :\

FS: good thing i commissioned you?

YK: I’m beginning to question whether it was worth it.


September 16th 2017

4:59 pm


Beauty Kin Support Group


Joker: We found out who Beauty Thief is.

Fox: Who is she?

Queen: Haru Okumura, a third year at Shujin.

Fox: Okumura? You mean she’s Okumura’s daughter?

Joker: Yep.

Queen: The question is why would she want to change her own father’s heart…

Fox: Were you able to talk to her?

Joker: While I was leaving the school I ran into her, and Makoto and I were able to talk to her briefly. We asked if it was possible all of us could work together.

Fox: Well? What was her response?

Queen: Unfortunately, she said no, and said that her and Morgana would change Okumura’s heart alone.

Fox: This isn’t about Okumura. Morgana is acting recklessly and we’re trying to talk to him.

Joker: She wouldn’t listen. Morgana wasn’t with her, either, so we weren’t able to talk to him either.

Fox: Where do we go from here?

Joker: Tomorrow we’ll stake out Mementos. Some… requests from the phan-site have been filled, and it most certainly hasn’t been us. Morgana and Haru have been changing hearts in Mementos, and have been acting very recklessly.

Joker: Tomorrow we’ll stake out Mementos and wait for them. After school, meet us at the hideout. We’ll discuss it from there.

Fox: Understood.

Queen: Got it.


September 17th 2017

10:12 pm


Beauty Kin Support Group


Panther: so...are we going to talk about this?

Skull: that was super effed

Queen: Joker, how’s Haru?

Joker: Exhausted.

Oracle: and mona?

Joker: Also exhausted. I think he’s glad to be back, but won’t admit it.

Panther: i guess haru is one of us?

Joker: For the time being, at least. If she chooses to stay with us, that’s her choice.

Fox: Okumura is now a definite target?

Joker: Absolutely. What he’s doing is not okay in the slightest. There’s no doubt in my mind that Okumura absolutely should be a target. Does anyone have any objections to this?

Skull: no. wat he’s doing is fucked up. harus not his property, shes a human being. she shouldnt be forced to marry a dbag like that

Panther: i agree with ryuji.

Fox: Agreed.

Queen: Me too.

Oracle: same here

Joker: Perfect. Tomorrow we’ll talk more about it, but for now let’s just get some rest.


September 18th 2017

12:34 am


Yusuke Kitagawa → Futaba Sakura


YK: commission.img

YK: Is this what you wanted.

FS: jesus fuck that is cursed

YK: You asked for this.

YK: While we were in Mementos, Ryuji looked over my shoulder and saw what I was drawing.

YK: His response was, and I quote, “Dude… what the eff.”

YK: I had to explain to him that no, I am not drawing pregnant Freddy Fazbear for my own sake, but it was a commission.

YK: Have you ever had to witness the look in your friend’s eye as you tried to explain to them that you’re desperate for money and someone wanted this? Have you ever witnessed any respect they had for you just fade?

YK: No, you haven’t.

FS: pfffffft

YK: Ryuji now thinks that I am legitimately aroused by pregnant animatronics. I’m not, and drawing this has taken away any sanity I had remaining.

YK: I hope you’re happy.

FS: thats,,so cursed

FS: thank you i love it


September 18th 2017

3:19 am


Futaba Sakura → Ryuji Sakamoto


FS: hey normie you up for a round of overwatch ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿

RS: im not a norm ie

FS: norm ie??

RS: it was a typo shhhh

FS: :33 ok normie


FS: are you up for overwatch or not ( ͡° ʖ̯ ͡°)

RS: yea hold on lemme grab my headset

FS: yeet ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿'̿'\̵͇̿̿\з= ( ▀ ͜͞ʖ▀) =ε/̵͇̿̿/’̿’̿ ̿ ̿̿ ̿̿ ̿̿


September 18th 2017

5:27 am


Beauty Kin Support Group


Oracle: cant believe ryuji is not only a normie but hes a hanzo main :\

Oracle: disowned

Skull: hanzo isnt that bad ok??

Oracle: ryuji

Oracle: you main hanzo

Oracle: maining a character is already annoying af but

Oracle: the fact that its hanzo,,,

Oracle: please tell me you dont play mei

Oracle: or genji

Skull: no

Oracle: thank god

Panther: why the hell are you two blowing up the group at 5:30 am?

Panther: ryuji did you get any sleep?

Skull: nah

Panther: you’re going to pass out during class..

Skull: i sleep through math anyways at least now i have an excuse

Panther: this is why you’re failing all your classes

Skull: shut

Panther: wait futaba which character do you main?

Oracle: i dont main any character maining is lame (¬_¬)

Oracle: mccree and widowmaker are p great though theyre probably my favorites

Skull: you just play them to piss everyone off and show them how good you are at overwatch

Oracle: i mean,,yeah

Oracle: 12 year olds get so pissed too

Oracle: hey not my fault they suck ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oracle: anyone else find it weird that mccree and inari sound so similar tho?

Skull: i that you mention it…

Panther: i don’t really know anything about overwatch so i couldn’t say

Oracle: i tried to get him to say its high noon but he wouldnt go for it :\

Oracle: i even offered to pay him

Skull: damn


September 18th 2017

1:00 pm


Beauty Kin Support Group


Panther: i just remembered ryuji lost that bet

Queen: Bet?

Panther: i bet him that he couldn’t get a girls number by the end of our school trip

Panther: and he lost

Skull: i was hopin u forgot abt that

Panther: you wish

Oracle: ooh yeah that bet >:3c

Oracle: does this mean we get to mess with the male half of our team >:33

Panther: it does

Skull: ah man

Joker: Yusuke and I had nothing to do with this bet why do we have to suffer too?

Panther: sorry leader but that’s just how it is

Panther: if it means anything, makoto is on our side and she might show you guys a bit of mercy

Queen: Maybe.

Skull: dammit

Skull: wat r u planning on doin to us?

Oracle: >;3

Panther: the rules were the winner was able to do anything to the opposite sex within reason

Panther: that goes for you futaba

Oracle: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oracle: ooo we could dress them in drag

Panther: i actually really like that idea

Queen: I can work with this.

Oracle: i call dibs on doing ryujis makeup >:3

Skull: uh pls no

Skull: anyone but the gremlin

Panther: futaba you don’t wear makeup?

Oracle: your point?

Oracle: i can figure it out

Panther: he’s all yours

Oracle: ;33

Skull: damn

Joker: Let’s be realistic, whatever happens, Yusuke is going to look prettier than all of us.

Joker: This isn’t just me being super gay for him, it’s a statement. He is actually the prettiest phantom thief and there is nothing we can do that would change that.

Panther: i would argue but you’re right

Panther: no amount of makeup or skin care could ever make me that pretty

Panther: yusuke is a pretty boy and looks better than any of us

Panther: i feel like this is a challenge now

Panther: makoto, can you take akira? i need to do yusuke’s makeup

Queen: That’s fine.

Joker: Oh thank God.

Joker: Makoto please spare me.

Queen: I’ll do my best.

Skull: when is all of this happenin?

Panther: how’s this weekend?

Queen: That works for me.

Oracle: hell yeah ;3c

Joker: I guess we can make time this weekend.

Joker: Before we head into the palace you three can probably do our makeup.

Panther: we can meet at my place!

Joker: Sure.

Panther: akira why do i feel like you’re more okay with this then you should be?

Joker: Makoto please make me beautiful.

Queen: Of course.

Panther: why am i not surprised.


September 18th 2017

1:48 pm


Makoto Niijima → Ann Takamaki


MN: Hey Ann? I have a question.

AT: what’s up?

MN: help.img

MN: What exactly...are Ryuji and Akira doing?


AT: are they t-posing mishima into a corner?

MN: I don’t know?

MN: What’s t-posing?

AT: it’s’re posing and you look like a lowercase t

MN: Why are they aggressively t-posing at that boy?

AT: i don’t know?

AT: but that is my new phone background

AT: where are you guys? i need to see this for myself.

MN: Third floor corridor, right by the student council room. I came out and they were just...there.

AT: i’m on my way


September 18th 2017

1:50 pm


Beauty Kin Support Group


Panther: tpose.img

Oracle: PFFFFT


Panther: they are t-posing mishima into a corner

Panther: the admin of the phan-site is trapped in a corner between two delinquents who are aggressively t-posing at him.

Panther: the phantom thieves of hearts, everybody.

Oracle: we should t-pose at akechi >;3

Panther: i said that to akira and he almost stopped t-posing he was so shaken up by that concept

Fox: Why are they doing that?

Panther: “to assert our dominance” -ryuji 2k17

Fox: Well…

Oracle: theyve asserted their dominance over the npc

Oracle: now they need to assert their dominance over each other

Panther: i read that out loud to them and i think all hell just broke loose

Panther: they are trying to out t-pose the other person

Panther: their chests are touching

Panther: dumbasses.img

Panther: t-posing.img

Panther: dominance.img

Oracle: yo inari thats your man

Fox: I am… suddenly regretting everything that has lead me to this point.

Panther: wait did i just read that correctly

Fox: I would assume so?

Panther: yusuke wtf do you mean that’s your man is there something you want to tell us

Fox: Whoops.

Panther: akira read that and i think his heart stopped

Fox: Damn. Guess I have to find a new man.

Joker: Yusuke is that a confession?

Fox: I..

Fox: Plead the fifth.

Panther: yusuke you’re even stealing his thing you guys are adorable

Panther: okay mishima tried to sneak away and ryuji and akira are now running down the hall t-posing after him

Panther: something you want to tell akira?

Fox: I’m in the middle of math class I don’t think this is the time or place to go into that.

Oracle: no its ok confess your love in a group chat while youre in class

Fox: Shouldn’t Akira and Ryuji be in class right now?

Panther: probably

Oracle: no theyre busy tposing

Fox: I’m..just not going to deal with this right now.

Oracle: no wait inari come back

Panther: wow. somehow we managed to absolutely murder yusuke via text

Oracle: after the mpreg freddy conversation i thought he could deal with anything

Panther: i’m sorry the what

Oracle: don’t worry about it ;3


September 19th 2017

2:28 pm


Okumura’s palace, Akira had decided, was simultaneously the most impressive and most obnoxious palace that had yet to be explored. The past four had all been their own types of impressive, however none of that compared to outer space. At the same time, while they all had their own obstacles (infrared lasers, security cameras, insanely high temperatures), none of those obstacles could compare to outer space, either. Not to mention, none of the other palaces had robots. Fucking robots. In other circumstances, that might have been awesome as hell, but in this case it was disgusting and just straight up annoying.

Safe rooms were a saving grace. As per usual. Between Haru, er, Noir, sitting at the head of the table with her head in her arms, or Oracle laying on her stomach on one of the benches, the exhaustion was clear on everyone’s faces. In the long run, at least Joker wasn’t the only one who had to suffer. The entire thing was just long and annoying. It would be worth it, though. It always was.

Fox stood against one of the walls, his white and red mask gripped between his gloved fingers. With his other hand, he wearily brushed strands of silky, blue hair to the side. It fell back into place as soon as he took his hand away, as to be expected. Without thinking, Joker approached him.

Yusuke offered him a half hearted smile. “Something I can help you with?”

Akira returned the affection. “Isn’t gracing me with your presence enough?” He leaned against the concrete wall. Vague memories of their Hawaii trip played in the back of his mind, like a movie at the theater. Yusuke’s jacket still sat in Akira’s room, right on his futon. It had yet to be washed, out of fear that once it was, it would wash away the smell of paint and Yusuke’s cologne.

His heart did backflips in his chest, similar to the way Akira himself would backflip off of shadows. What had started as a harmless prank and an experiment to see just what would happen if he and Ryuji were to t-pose Mishima into a corner (Mishima had been very confused and a little scared. It was kind of funny though, and later Akira apologized and made sure Mishima was alright. He was fine, just confused.), had greatly worked out in Akira’s favor. Thinking back on Yusuke’s text still caused Akira’s stomach to squirm. Obviously it had been a joke, saying he would have to find a “new man.” Between Hawaii and Morgana running away, several questions had come up that Joker still did not have an answer to. Not much had been said outside the group chat after Hawaii. Aside from their personal messages after Morgana had run off, minimal effort had been made to reach out to the other person. After all of this time, Akira still had no clue what Yusuke was thinking. Perhaps it was time to finally confront these issues head on, while they still had time and no one was paying attention to them.

Akira removed the mask from his face and clutched it in one hand. “Can we talk for a minute?”

Yusuke nodded once. “Of course. What’s on your mind?”

Akira’s throat was dry.  Swallowing was like sandpaper against his esophagus. “Um… about what was said in the group chat. Futaba was joking when she said that I was yours, obviously, but… Were you just going along with it or...?” He trailed off.

Yusuke raised one fine eyebrow. “Was I not clear enough?” He sighed. “Well, if I’m being completely honest here, I don’t know how I feel about you.”

“What do you mean?” Akira’s voice was steady, yet gentle. Almost an offer. Even he had no idea how he remained so calm.

“When I’m around you, it’s as if my problems just disappear for a little, and just for a moment, everything is as normal as it could ever possibly be for me. You make everything just slightly easier to tolerate. No matter how exhausting life has gotten, you have been there with consistent support for me. I don’t think that I’ll ever be able to grasp it. Does that make any sense?”

“That makes perfect sense.”

Akira’s breath hitched. He sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, a tight knot forming in the pit of his stomach. In retrospect, this may have been the first time (outside of Madarame’s palace) where Yusuke had ever been direct about his emotions. Sometimes, Akira wondered just how Yusuke was able to keep it together.

He swallowed, and inhaled slowly through his nose. “I’m assuming this point you already know about how I feel. It seems that everyone knows.” A teasing edge surrounded his words, as if inviting Yusuke to show him otherwise. Or perhaps just allow him closer.

The corner of Yusuke’s mouth twitched into something like a smirk. “You’ll have to enlighten me.”

Had it not been for the metal walls and piercing eyes of his teammates, Joker might have spilled everything then and there. Instead, he took a few steps closer, leaning in. “Come to Leblanc after this exploration.” His words were but a faint whisper.

Fox nodded. His face fell back into its usual deadpan. “Understood.”

Before he let his doubt get the best of him, Akira placed a teasing kiss on Yusuke’s jaw, right by the corner of his mouth, and stalked off. Back to the head of the table, right across from Noir.

“Alright, let’s consult. How’s our progress?”

Chapter Text

September 19th 2017

7:05 pm


Okumura’s palace, Yusuke had decided, was by far the most obnoxious and tedious palace they had yet to come across. Every five minutes they had to stop and fight a shadow as the shadows left no room to sneak by them, they had to run around gathering information from “employees” and fight more powerful shadows to obtain keys, and overall it was an unpleasant time. He couldn’t help but feel like a chicken with its head cut off. On the bright side, it would pay off in the end. Not to mention, in terms of aesthetic, it was definitely one of the more pleasing palaces.

After fighting one of the higher ups, they (meaning Akira) had decided that they would stop the palace exploration for the day. Ann had taken an especially powerful hit while fighting one of the director manager chief whatever the hell his position was and it had clearly taken a toll on her. Ryuji had been on the end of an unfortunate wind attack while Morgana had been electrocuted, and even Yusuke had been unfortunate enough to come face to face with an enemy who specialized in fire attacks. Everyone was exhausted, and perhaps cutting it short had been a good idea. They would always be back tomorrow.

The others had begun to disappear from Leblanc’s attic. Akira stood by the shelf and whispered something to Morgana, who nodded and took off. Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest, curious to see where this would go.

“So,” Akira started. Strands of messy black hair hung in front of his face. He looked over with amusement; a taunting smirk, as if saying “I know something you don’t” plastered on. That smug smirk… When they had first met, Yusuke had wanted to slap the smirk off of that face. Akira, while he had only been looking out for him, had invoked an extreme rage in him that he wasn’t entirely sure how to handle. In seemed Akira knew how to invoke several different emotions from Yusuke.

In a few quick strides, Akira crossed the attic space, and stood directly in front of Yusuke. “I’m sure at this point you know how I feel about you, right?”

“Wasn’t the whole reason you called me here to discuss how you feel about me?” Yusuke recalled their conversation in one of the safe rooms of Okumura’s palace. The conversation had been cut short, with a kiss pressed against his cheek. Yusuke’s nerves still hummed with excitement.

Akira pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. That chaotic, mischievous Joker glint shined behind otherwise dull grey eyes. “You’re right.” He chuckled. Akira placed his hand on Yusuke’s bicep and gave a reassuring squeeze. “It’s really no secret that I admire you. I think you’re the only one who didn’t realize.”

“Really?” Yusuke’s voice held a hint of amusement. Beyond his cool exterior, however, was a storm he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Waves upon waves of emotion crashed against the shore. Emotions he couldn’t even begin to wrap his mind around. All he knew is that, whatever it was, he wanted to pull Akira close and never let go.

Akira grinned. That smile could light up the darkest of rooms. Sometimes, Yusuke thought that smile was the only light in his life. A splash of bright color against his otherwise grey world. Afterall, it had been that smile that had reached out to him when he was in denial.

“Let me put it in easy terms: I want you.” There was no cockiness or edge to Akira’s words. He spoke steadily, and any hint of uncertainty or ambiguity was repressed, if not uninexstant. “You captivate me, and I am completely drawn to you. Now that you’re in my life, I want you to stay in my life.”

Akira’s touch had moved from Yusuke’s arm, and his arms were hooked around Yusuke’s neck. Almost instinctively, Yusuke wrapped his arms around Akira’s waist.

Unspoken words lingered on Yusuke’s tongue. The bittersweetness of everything he had kept inside, all threatening to pour out. Somethings were best kept internalized, but other things…

“I want you, too.”

It slipped away before Yusuke could stop himself from speaking.

Akira leaned forward, but Yusuke turned his head to the side last second. For whatever reason, he couldn’t bring himself to kiss Akira. At least, not yet. All things considered, after what happened on the beach, Yusuke didn’t understand it himself. Back there, the desire to kiss Akira with everything he had had been overbearing. But now, upstairs in the attic, all Yusuke wanted was reassurance. He wasn’t entirely sure what this meant for them, but whatever it was, he was willing to go along with it. If being a Phantom Thief had taught him anything, it was that some risks were worth taking.

Akira captured the very corner of Yusuke’s mouth, and everything within Yusuke craved more.

Instead, Akira rested his chin on Yusuke’s shoulder. “What does this make us?” He whispered.

“It doesn’t matter.” Yusuke stated. His heartbeat quickened in pace, the same way it had come to do when in Akira’s presence. Sometimes Yusuke wondered if that was natural, or if Akira just had him under his control.

Akira made a noise. “Just as long as I’m yours.”


September 19th 2017

8:37 pm


Beauty Kin Support Group


Skull: hey so i have another question

Skull: is it possible to microwave ravioli yes or no

Queen: Why are you so insistent on microwaving foods you can easily prepare?

Skull: can i micrwovave it just answer the question

Panther: “micrwovave”

Skull: ann shut

Oracle: :3.pmg

Skull: eff

Oracle: >:3



Oracle: whaaat why would i do that

Skull: becuz ur an effin gremlin thats why

Oracle: hmmmm >;3

Skull: im microwaving ravioly fuck you

Queen: Ryuji that is how you get food poisoning.

Skull: nah theyre premade

Skull: all i have to do is reheat them

Panther: are you sure about that?

Skull: i think

Joker: Why do I always come in at the weirdest moments.

Skull: oh hey

Panther: at least he didn’t say “microbiology” this time

Joker: Ann I’m still just as confused about that as you are.

Joker: Anyways can everyone behave for like three minutes?

Oracle: no >:)

Skull: nah

Panther: nope

Queen: I wish.

Joker: You know what I’ll take it.

~ Joker has added Haru Okumura to the chat~

~ Joker has changed Haru Okumura’s name to Noir ~

Skull: oh hey

Oracle: it haru

Noir: Oh! Hello!

Joker: Welcome to this hell I apologize in advance.

Oracle: (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

Skull: futaba wtf is that thing

Oracle: a blessing

Panther: thanks! i hate it!

Joker: Guys…

Noir: What is happening?

Queen: It’s not worth questioning. No one else seems to know what’s happening, either.

Joker: It’s a group chat. Also the biggest mistake I’ve ever made.

Skull: yea thats fair

Panther: this was a mistake but at least we’re not flooding the main chat

Joker: Yeah that’s fair.

Noir: Thank you for adding me!

Joker: It’s no problem. You’re one of us now, right?

Noir: Yes!

Oracle: welcome to hell

Queen: Futaba, please.

Oracle: whoops

Queen: Welcome to the group, Haru.

Noir: Thank you!

Skull: hell yea raviolli is done

Panther: take a shot every time ryuji misspells “ravioli”


Panther: nah

~Joker has changed the name of the chat to Ravioli~

Skull: wow

Joker: Hey Ryuji do you remember how during the Hawaii trip you and Ann shoved fucking crackers under my hotel room door?

Skull: yea y

Panther: oh i remember that!

Skull: seeing as how you ate the floor crackers i would hope u remember ann

Panther: you were wasting perfectly good crackers what was i supposed to do

Oracle: oh that was all over your snapchat story

Oracle: i laughed super hard seeing that

Queen: Ann… that’s so unsanitary…

Panther: ryuji was wasting some perfect club crackers.

Panther: makoto they were club crackers.

Oracle: truly the superior cracker

Skull: eh triscuts are better

Oracle: you take that back you backstabbing little bitch

Skull: no triscuts are better

Oracle: you cant even spell it correctly

Oracle: its *triscuits

Joker: Hey guys?

Panther: oh yeah right.

Panther: why do you mention the crackers?

Joker: I was cleaning up my room a bit and found some crackers in my suitcase.

Joker: What the fuck.

Noir: This sure seems like a lively group~

Oracle: ya

Queen: It is an experience, to say the least.

Queen: Typically Yusuke and myself are able to… somewhat restrain them. Akira, too, when he’s actually serious…

Queen: Correction: Yusuke is able to somewhat restrain Akira. Sometimes. When he’s not unintentionally enabling Akira. At least, I think it’s unintentional...

Skull: im jst,,not gonna say anything

Oracle: that joke is too easy

Joker: Hey we have to have some fun sometimes . As long as nothing’s broken and no one is arrested I don’t care ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Queen: Right. You “t-posed” that poor student into a corner and then proceeded to chase him down the hallway. During class time, need I remind you.

Joker: Mishima was fine.

Joker: Anyways does anyone want to explain the club crackers in my suitcase?

Oracle: eat them

Joker: No.

Joker: They are actually rock hard.

Oracle: is anyone going to make the obvious joke or do i have to

Skull: that ones too easy

Panther: gee i wonder why there’s crackers in your suitcase akira!!!!

Joker: Ann you know something.

Noir: How can you tell she knows something?

Joker: The punctuation. Any more than two ! or ? and you know she knows something.

Joker: Ann. What happened.

Skull: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Joker: Ryuji they were your crackers what the fuck did you do.

Skull: yea…

Skull: while u were in the bathroom we put crackers in ur suitcase

Joker: Why?

Skull: we thought u would find them

Joker: I mean… I did but… only a few weeks later…

Joker: Well those are some wasted crackers.

Oracle: eat them

Joker: No.

Oracle: coward

Queen: Ryuji how is your microwaved ravioli.

Skull: tbh its kinda shit

Queen: Then… why are you eating it?

Skull: idk

Skull: torture?

Oracle: thats kinky?

Panther: asdjkhsljfhklhfhjsa,fhdkjahf

Skull: no?????

Joker: Futaba you’re like 12

Oracle: :\

Oracle: im 15

Joker: Anyone under the age of 16 is automatically considered 12

Noir: I don’t think that’s how that works.

Joker: No that’s how it works.

Joker: Futaba? 12.

Joker: That grade schooler kid I met at the arcade? 12.

Joker: Morgana? 12.

Joker: Anyone under 16 is 12, no exceptions.

Queen: Akira…

Joker: Nope this is not up for debate. You can’t change my mind.

Oracle: (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

Joker: Jesus christ delete that.

Panther: i hate it.

Skull: i just choked on my ravioli

Queen: That face is very unsettling.

Noir: Oh.

Oracle: wait theres more :)

Queen: Oh no..

Oracle: ᕕ(⍤╭∩╮⍤)ᕗ

Joker: What the fuck is that thing.

Noir: Aw! It’s kind of cute~

Joker: Are… are you serious…

Noir: Yes! It’s adorable!

Joker: ….

Oracle: 【のωの】

Joker: Please remove that from my eye sight.

Oracle: no ☞⩾⏠⩽☞

Joker: You are actually a fucking gremlin you know that right.

Oracle: (。◕‿◕。)


September 20th 2017

5:10 pm




~ Oracle has changed Fox’s name to graphic design is my passion ~

Noir: Oh!

gdimp: What.

Joker: No.

~ Joker has demoted Oracle ~

~ Joker has changed graphic design is my passion’s name to Fox ~

Joker: Bad.

Oracle: ACK

Noir: What happened?


Joker: I have to discipline the gremlin if I want her to behave properly


Fox: What just happened?

Joker: Don’t worry babe the gremlin can’t hurt you now.

Fox: The “gremlin” is half my size I think I can handle her.



Fox: Are you sure about that? Last I checked you act as a support role and I have a katana, as well as a supply of various knives.

Oracle: say goodbye to your knees bitch

Oracle: time to STEAL YOUR BONES

Fox: How exactly do you intend to do that.

Oracle: going to EAT THE KNEES

Fox: That’s illegal.

Joker: Is the legality really that concerns you?

Fox: Cannibalism is illegal.

Joker: We are actually wanted criminals why is that what gets your attention.

Fox: They can’t arrest us if they can’t catch us.

Joker: Fair.

Noir: Actually cannibalism is not illegal in japan!

Joker: wh…

Oracle: cronch cronch bitch

Fox: Excuse me?

Noir: Cannibalism is not illegal, however apparently removing and eating the male genitalia is.

Fox: I..

Joker: That is… very specific.

Noir: There was a case a while back in which a woman prepared a very expensive dinner using male genitalia.

Joker: How do you know this?

Noir: (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ

Joker: Okay… Thanks Haru. Guess Futaba can eat knees.

Oracle: steal the knee

Fox: Do not touch my knees.

Oracle: right thats akiras job my bad

Fox: Akira can’t touch my knees either.

Joker: Can I eat your knees?

Fox: No.

Joker: It’s not illegal.

Fox: Do not.

Joker: Fine.

~ Oracle has changed Joker’s name to Vore ~

Vore: No.

~ Vore has demoted Oracle ~

~ Vore has changed their name to Joker ~


Joker: Bad.


Joker: No.

Oracle: new plans im going to eat akiras knees first

Joker: Please don’t.

Oracle: its not illegal >:3

Joker: Nice to know you won’t get arrested for eating the knees of a criminal.

Oracle: >:3

Panther: disgust.gif

Oracle: pffffffft

Noir: Hello ann!

Panther: hi haru

Panther: what the hell is happening and why is this what i come back to

Oracle: >:3

Panther: nevermind

Fox: It’s times like this when I question how I ended up here.

Joker: You love us.

Fox: Yes well… Unfortunately.

Joker: <3

Panther: !!!!!!


September 20th 2017

5:13 pm


Ann Takamaki → Akira Kurusu


AT: soooo????

AK: What?

AT: you know what

AT: spill

AK: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

AK: I mean… we’re Something?

AK: And I guess that means something??

AT: what do you mean?

AK: I mean.. We talked? And there’s something? But?

AK: Don’t worry about it for now. We haven’t talked too much I guess.

AT: okay

AT: either way i’m happy for you guys!!

AK: Thank you :)


September 21st 2017

8:22 pm




Skull: i think i just realized something

Fox: Congratulations.

Skull: ok that was uncalled for

Fox: Oh no.

Queen: Someone’s extra caustic this evening…

Fox: Tragic.

Skull: actually this involves yusuke

Fox: What?

Skull: well kinda

Skull: its bout goemon

Fox: What about my persona?

Skull: uhhh

Skull: goemon has a giant ass vape

Fox: It’s… a pipe.

Skull: he has a giant ass vape and a neckbeard

Fox: Well… you are right about the neckbeard. Not the most aesthetically pleasing choice but I suppose I can’t deny my inner self.

Queen: You aren’t planning on growing a neckbeard are you?

Fox: No. Neckbeards are awful. I would never.

Queen: Oh thank God.

Skull: goemons hair is slicked back like an asshole

Fox: Where are you going with this?

Skull: i dont mean to alarm u but

Skull: i think ur inner self is a fuckboy

Queen: Oh.

Fox: Excuse me?

Skull: yea

Skull: ur inner self is the definition of a fuckboy yusuke

Skull: vape, neckbeard, pompador

Skull: hes a fuckboy

Fox: I don’t think that was the intent..

Skull: that may not have been the intent but damn dude ur persona is a fuckboy

Fox: I have nothing to say to this.

Skull: wait yusuke

Skull: are…

Fox: You’re going to ask something weird aren’t you.

Skull: are u..

Fox: Stop.

Skull: are u a fuckboy

Fox: No.

Queen: Yusuke doesn’t seem like that type.

Skull: i mean,,ur right but

Skull: none of us have seen him at school

Fox: Your point?

Skull: we dont kno wat goes on at kosei

Fox: What are you trying to imply and why.

Skull: idk dude u told us about one of ur classmates,,the one at the church

Fox: Hifumi Togo?

Skull: yea her

Skull: wats ur relationship w her?

Fox: She sits in the desk next to mine?

Fox: Our “relationship” revolves around sighs and exchanged annoyed looks because the rest of our classmates are stuck up rich kids who have zero regard for anyone that won’t increase their social status?

Queen: Oh.. Well then.

Skull: ...holy shit

Skull: damn dude tell me how you really feel

Fox: Need I remind you that Kosei is a very expensive, high class school, and I am here on a scholarship? The vast majority of my classmates and I don’t exactly work well together.

Joker: Did I pick the wrong time to open the chat?

Fox: No, your fine.

Joker: Tell Hifumi I said hi?

Fox: I’ll tell her tomorrow.

Joker: Thanks

Skull: point still stands

Skull: goemon is a fuckboy

Queen: Ryuji...

Joker: What? Why is Goemon a fuckboy?

Skull: read up

Joker: Okay.

Joker: Pffft now that you mention it

Joker: Goemon really does look like a fuckboy.

Joker: Yusuke your inner self is a fuckboy.

Fox: No comment.

Chapter Text

September 22nd 2017

9:13 pm




Skull: do u guys remember those dumb versions of our names

Panther: you mean ryobi socialmotorboat?

Skull: yes that

Panther: wait ryuji

Skull: u mean ryobi?

Panther: ryobi, my bad.

Joker: Do you two just love putting me through hell?

Skull: yep

Panther: yeah

Joker: God dammit.

Panther: we haven’t done that since makoto joined the team

Panther: sorry i mean since *mascara nimrod joined the team

Queen: Mascara Nimrod?

Panther: yes. that’s your name now.

Queen: That’s not my name..

Panther: well that sucks

Skull: wait ur right

Skull: 2 more have joined the team since then skfqdjhkjqf

Skull: futaba and haru need new names

Joker: Please let this joke die.

Panther: no

Skull: never

Panther: futaba sakura? you mean fruity squirrel right?

Skull: lksfljklsafjkw perfect

Skull: @oracle ur new name is fruity squirrel

Oracle: lit who are the rest of you

Joker: No.

Joker: Also don’t ever use the term “lit” again. Not in this Gay Server.

Oracle: lit

Queen: Apparently I am Mascara Nimrod?

Oracle: hmm fitting

Panther: ann takamaki? you mean ant tamagotchi

Oracle: i love it

Skull: ryobi socialmotorboat

Oracle: suiting

Panther: joker is africa kangaroo

Joker: Suddenly I can’t read.

Oracle: whats inari?

Skull: yugio kitwater

Oracle: its perfect

Panther: we still need a name for haru

Skull: hair ostrich

Oracle: a+

Panther: @noir we have deemed you hair ostrich

Noir: Oh?

Skull: scroll up

Noir: Oh that makes more sense.

Noir: Hair ostrich. I like it!

Skull: aldhaksdlshdfkhj

Panther: how are you always so positive??

Noir: What do you mean?

Panther: you were thrown into this group like 3 days ago in the middle of a conversation about microwaving ravioli and have just..accepted the chaos like it’s completely normal.

Noir: Everyone else seems to be having a good time so i see no reason to stop it! Besides, as long as everyone else is happy then i have no problems!

Panther: holy shit you ray of sunshine

~ Oracle has changed Noir’s name to Sunshine ~

Sunshine: Oh! Thank you!

Joker: As fitting of a name as that is…

~ Joker has demoted Oracle ~

~ Joker has changed Sunshine’s name to Noir ~

Joker: Futaba are you in Leblanc right now?

Oracle: yea

Joker: Perfect.

Oracle: why?


Noir: Did akira-kun spray you with water again?


Joker: Stop making yourself a mod.

Oracle: no fuck you

Queen: Futaba, you are playing with fire right now…

Oracle: please ive been in situations more dangerous then this

Oracle: playing with fire didnt stop me from hacking into the security cameras at kosei did it

Fox: You did what?

Panther: it’s like you summoned him..

Oracle: you heard me inari

Fox: Technically I didn’t hear you as this is a text conversation.

Oracle: :\

Oracle: fine you read me is that better you furry

Fox: Why would you hack into the Kosei security footage.

Oracle: why not

Fox: I…

Fox: Okay.

Oracle: for a high class school theres a lot of kids vaping in the bathrooms :\

Fox: Yes, well… The school is made up of spoiled rich kids. What did you expect.

Oracle: makes sense i guess

Fox: Do you receive live footage?

Oracle: ya

Oracle: i can see everything

Queen: That’s… rather unsettling, actually.

Fox: Tell me about it.

Fox: Futaba what do you plan on doing with that?

Oracle: >:3

Noir: That takes a lot of skill to accomplish, futaba-chan. How did you do that?

Oracle: practice

Noir: I see. That’s amazing! <3

Oracle: thank you haru :3

September 24th 2017

11:09 pm




~ Oracle has changed Joker’s name to Africa Kangaroo ~

~ Oracle has changed Skull’s name to Ryobi Socialmotorboat ~

~ Oracle has changed Panther’s name to Ant Tamagotchi ~

~ Oracle has changed Fox’s name to Yugio Kitwater ~

~ Oracle has changed Queen’s name to Mascara Nimrod ~

~ Oracle has changed Noir’s name to Hair Ostrich ~

~ Oracle has changed their name to Fruity Squirrel ~

AK: God dammit Futaba stop doing that.

FS: nah

AT: africa is just salty because he fucked up yusuke’s name and we won’t let him live it down

FS: OwO?

AK: Delete this.

FS: no

AT: i have receipts.

AK: Haha no you don’t.

AT: africa-is-a-hypocrite.img

FS: thank you ann

AK: Ann you’re dead to me.

FS: im keeping that

AK: No you’re not.

FS: you cant stop me africa

AK: I can try.

FS: wait ann when did that happen i cant find it in the group archives

AT: i’m sorry who?

FS: sorry *ant

AT: that was back in june, just before makoto joined us.

FS: whomst

AT: sorry *mascara

FS: oh wait i found it

AK: Hey Futaba?

FS: whomstve

AT: her name is fruity squirrel please show a little respect

AK: Does that mean Futaba is the furry?



FS: you know what yes i am a furry

FS: @yugio kitwater can you draw my fursona

AK: That’s great and everything but

~ Africa Kangaroo has demoted Fruity Squirrel ~

~ Africa Kangaroo has changed their name to Joker ~

~ Joker has changed Ryobi Socialmotorboat’s name to Skull ~

~ Joker has changed Ant Tamagotchi’s name to Panther ~

~ Joker has changed Yugio Kitwater’s name to Fox ~

~ Joker has changed Mascara Nimrod’s name to Queen ~

~ Joker has changed Fruity Squirrel’s name to Oracle ~

~ Joker has changed Hair Ostrich’s name to Noir ~

Joker: That’s better.

Oracle: >:(


September 25th 2017

4:02 am


Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa


FS: inari

FS: inari

FS: draw my fursona

FS: please draw my fursona

FS: inari


FS: yusuke fucking kitagawa dont ignore me i can see youre online

YK: Sorry I took a depression nap. What do you need?

FS: i

FS: ok mood but

FS: you good binch?

YK: Sure. What are you asking me to draw?


FS: seriously tho are you ok :\

YK: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

FS: :|

FS: god dammit

YK: Hold on. Did you really refer to me by my full name?

FS: incorrect i said yusuke fucking kitagawa

FS: unless your middle name is fucking

FS: is it?

YK: No?

FS: guess your middle name is temporarily fucking then

YK: I would rather it not be but if you insist.

FS: will you draw my fursona

YK: I don’t know what that is.


FS: inari.png

FS: those things

YK: You… you want me to draw one of those for you.

FS: yeee

YK: Why.

FS: i made a joke about it in the group earlier and now i have to Commit

YK: So you want me to draw a humanized fox for you?

FS: squirrel actually but yea

YK: We’ll see.

FS: :T

FS: come on pls

FS: inari

YK: Maybe.

FS: wait hold on

FS: you said you took a depression nap

YK: And?

FS: it is 4 in the morning wtf

FS: how long was that depression nap

YK: I have… no idea.

YK: When did we get back from the palace?

FS: jesus christ

FS: that is one long depression nap

FS: when we got out of the palace it was like 9pm

YK: Your point?

FS: ...touche

FS: why depression nap?

YK: Okumura’s palace gives me clinical depression.

FS: ok you right

YK: The bullshit with the timer is just infuriating.


FS: but you right

FS: his palace is kinda cool but like

FS: all the puzzles and shit are not worth it

YK: Why are you complaining? You just stay inside Necronomicon the majority of the time and laugh at us.

YK: Also you have said far worse words I think I can say “bullshit.”

FS: i dont laugh at you

YK: Don’t you?


FS: dont out me like this

YK: No.

FS: :\

FS: wow ok

FS: i see how it is

FS: bitch i can hack your phone camera

YK: Haven’t you already done that?

FS: maybe ;3

YK: You’re not going to see anything of interest.

FS: ;3

YK: Unless you intend on watching me paint for nine hours straight and then cry myself to sleep, there’s not much to witness.

FS: :\

FS: you ok?

YK: No.

FS: mood


September 24th 2017

1:03 pm




Joker: Can someone tell Morgana to stop shit talking people while I am having a conversation with someone?

Fox: What?

Joker: I was talking to Mishima and Morgana was making obnoxious side comments from in my desk. Morgana just because he can’t understand you doesn’t mean you should shit talk them.

Fox: No let Morgana keep doing what he’s doing. Mishima can’t understand.

Joker: You just say that because you don’t like Mishima.

Fox: Your point?

Joker: You have literally only talked to Mishima on two separate occasions for a total of five minutes.

Fox: Your point?

Skull: wat do u got against mishima?

Fox: Everything.

Joker: Yusuke you hardly know him.

Fox: I intend on keeping it that way.

Oracle: for once i agree with inari oof

Joker: Futaba you talked to him once :\

Oracle: he was boring

Oracle: fucking npc

Skull: mishima aint that bad

Skull: u kno he runs the phan site right?

Fox: As long as all his work is behind a screen, so that I do not ever have to acknowledge him, then I have no problems.

Skull: wait i think i kno wats goin on here

Skull: yusuke r u jealous

Fox: Jealous?

Fox: Of Mishima?

Fox: Please. There’s nothing to be jealous of. He’d hardly know aesthetics if it hit him in the face.

Joker: Why would Yusuke be jealous?

Oracle: oh

Joker: Are you jealous?

Fox: Why on earth would I have any reason to be jealous of him. Of all people, why him?

Oracle: OwO

Skull: i dont buy it but watever u say man

Joker: Yusuke doesn’t seem much like the jealous type.

Joker: Are you, Yusuke?

Fox: What reason would I have to be jealous?

Joker: Hmm :\

Oracle: why are you avoiding the question inari

Fox: I’m not?

Oracle: thats bs but ok

Skull: :\

Joker: :\

Oracle: :\

Skull: ok but wat was morgana saying about mishima

Joker: Mishima approached me after class asking me about a Mementos request and Morgana was just chilling in my bag making obnoxious commentary.

Joker: It took every ounce of willpower to keep a straight face during that entire conversation I swear.

Joker: Morgana can be such an asshole when he wants to be.

Skull: morgana is always an asshole wats ur point

Joker: That’s true..

Oracle: what did mona say

Joker: He just commented on how some of these requests were pointless and Mishima needed to chill.

Skull: sounds like mona

Joker: Yep.


September 24th 2017

9:12 pm


Makoto Niijima → Haru Okumura


MN: Hi Haru! I just wanted to quickly message you and give you an official welcome to the team. You joined us at a very interesting time and none of us have properly welcomed you yet. I don’t want you to feel excluded in the slightest.

HO: Thank you! I haven’t been feeling excluded at all, but i appreciate you messaging me like this. I understand that things are crazy right now, and i apologize for causing everything to become as hectic as it currently is.

MN: Don’t worry about that. We want to help you, as well as help your father. We’ve been in more hectic situations. This is nothing that we can’t handle. I promise you, we will change your father’s heart and do what we can to help you.

HO: Thank you, mako-chan. I will do what i can to help!

MN: You’ve been a great asset to the team thus far. I think I speak for everyone when I say we’re glad to have you as one of us. If you have any questions you can ask Akira or myself.

HO: I’ll do my best! Thank you!


September 24th 2017

9:14 pm


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Hey so I just wanted to double check but you’re not really jealous are you?

AK: You know I only have eyes for you, right?

YK: I’m aware. No, I’m not jealous. Why would I have anything to be jealous of?

AK: I don’t know. You were dodging the question earlier.

AK: You sure you’re not jealous?

YK: I’m not sure I even know what jealousy looks like.

AK: It’s.. gross. Almost invasive, you know?

AK: Remember when you said that girl gave you her phone number?

YK: Yes, I remember. I’ve actually seen her a few times around school since then, and she has been rather bitter towards me, not that her opinion matters to me. Why do you bring that up?

AK: When you said that, I just remember this..anger, almost. I didn’t like knowing someone else had noticed how gorgeous you are, and trust me you are fucking gorgeous.

YK: There’s more to me than my looks.

AK: Exactly. I think that’s what pissed me off most about it. She didn’t even know you, yet here’s this girl giving out her phone number just because she thinks you’re attractive. All she knew came from the dumb Madarame rumors.

AK: While that was happening, here’s me who’s been pining for longer then I know, probably.

AK: I don’t even know how to describe it. Kind of like she was threatening me, you know?

YK: I understand.

AK: You’re the only one I have feelings for. I promise. No one is going to change that.

YK: Thank you.

AK: What for? I’m just telling you how I feel.

YK: Nevermind what for.

YK: You mean a lot to me. I don’t entirely understand it, but… You mean more to me than anyone else ever has.

AK: I’m glad.

AK: <3

September 26th 2017

11:32 am




Panther: are we still playing dress up before going into the palace today?

Joker: I guess so.

Noir: What?

Joker: Oh right, Haru you weren’t here for that.

Joker: Long story short, Ryuji lost a bet and now Ann, Makoto and Futaba get to play dress up with Ryuji, Yusuke and myself as the models.

Queen: Haru, you can help me on Akira’s design. I have the clothes picked out, however I am not the most experienced with make-up.

Noir: That sounds fun, i would love to help!
Skull: dammit i had hoped u forgot

Panther: please. i’ve been counting down the days.

Panther: ryuji i think you’re the only one against it

Skull: we dont kno that yet uhhh

Joker: I expect to look beautiful.

Fox: You’re already beautiful, though.

Joker: qiwyadsdfkhlalhf

Panther: i think akira short circuited

Skull: where did u even come from dude

Fox: I don’t understand the question.

Skull: nvm

Skull: we havent gotten yusukes input on this tho

Panther: yusuke how do you feel about wearing drag

Fox: I literally could not care less.

Panther: yep ryuji you’re the only one against it

Skull: dammit…

Panther: we can meet at my house if you guys want.

Joker: Sure thing.

Queen: Of course.

Noir: Okay.

Skull: i guess

Fox: Understood.

Joker: I told Futaba. She said okay.

Joker: Also she’s mad that I sprayed her with the spray bottle.

Skull: y??

Joker: She changed was fucking with the group names a couple days ago and I forgot about it until now.

Skull: fair


September 26th 2017

10:12 pm




Panther: yusuke.img

Panther: yh.img

Panther: more proof that yusuke is actually the most attractive pt, regardless of gender

Panther: male? female? yep.

Fox: Thanks.

Skull: i am,,confused

Joker: I’m not.

Oracle: tfw inari is so pretty he makes a straight guy question his sexuality

Joker: Is your boner confused?

Skull: dont phrase it like that

Joker: Answer the question, Sakamoto.

Panther: i think everyone is confused

Noir: Yusuke makes a very pretty girl.

Oracle: is inari a trap

Fox: How about we don’t ask that.

Oracle: answer the question kitagawa

Fox: No.

Fox: Why is makeup so difficult to wash off.

Panther: they make products to wash it off

Fox: Ann need I remind you that I am broke.

Fox: Currently I have 100 yen, a bent paper clip and half a paint brush.

Skull: wat happened to the paint brush

Fox: Don’t worry about it.

Skull: yusuke wat did u do

Fox: It was accidentally snapped in half.

Skull: why

Fox: I may have been gripping it harder than intended.

Skull: why

Fox: Listen I don’t know how to properly deal with my emotions.

Skull: jesus christ remind me to never piss u off

Fox: It was unintentional.

Skull: even worse

Joker: I mean… I would chastise you, but I do the same.

Joker: Repress and ignore and snap all your pencils in half :^)

Skull: i dont think thats good for u dude

Fox: What are you talking about it works every time.

Skull: it works until u snap ur paintbrush in half

Joker: Nah it’s fine you can channel that shit into shadow hunting.

Fox: Exactly.

Skull: are u guys ok?

Joker: Absolutely not.


September 27th 2017

10:23 pm






Noir: My apologies. I didn’t realize going through my father’s palace would be as frustrating as it is.

Joker: It’s not your fault, Haru.

Joker: No offense when I say this but your dad needs to fucking stop. Jesus christ how paranoid can one man get.

Noir: None taken. It is rather… obscene.

Joker: No kidding. Between the robots and the timers and now the fucking airlock maze of bullshit, he really does not want his treasure to be discovered.

Noir: I’m really sorry about this.

Joker: Don’t apologize. Okumura needs to have his heart changed, and this is just what we have to do.

Noir: I never thought my father’s cognition would be..well..

Joker: This fucked up?

Noir: Yes. That.

Queen: Okumura’s desires are distorted, to a point in which something must be done. I promise you, Haru, we are going to change your father’s heart. You don’t deserve the treatment he and your fiance have been giving you, nor do the employees of Okumura Foods deserve this sort of treatment.

Joker: Jesus christ Makoto when did you show up.

Queen: Just now. I just got home and had a chance to check the group.

Noir: My father is a good man, it’s just..

Noir: I do not know what caused his desires to become as distorted as they are, but deep down i know he is a good person. He lost sight of his true intentions and what okumura foods used to be like. I want to help set him back on track and help him to become the man i once knew.

Queen: We are going to do everything in our power to help you, and help him.

Joker: You will get to see that man again, Haru. I promise.

Noir: Thank you.

Noir: I appreciate all that you have done for me. I couldn’t have made it this far without any of you.

Joker: It’s just what we do.

Queen: We just want to make sure you’re safe.

Noir: Thank you mako-chan.

Joker: Mako-chan?

Noir: Oh i’m sorry! I just thought it was cute. I won’t call you mako-chan if you don’t like it, makoto.

Queen: Oh it’s fine. I like that nickname. Thank you, Haru.

Noir: Mako-chan it is ^^


Queen: Hey Joker?

Joker: Yeah?

Queen: With all due respect, please shut up.

Joker: Sure thing Makoto ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Noir: Hmm?

Queen: Akira you are in no position to be making these comments.

Joker: At least I can admit that I am Very Gay for a certain artist.

Noir: You two look so cute together akira!

Joker: Thanks but we’re not together.

Noir: You’re not?

Joker: It’s complicated.

Queen: Akira please check your dms.


September 27th 2017

10:31 pm


Makoto Niijima → Akira Kurusu


MN: Okay Akira what exactly are you getting at.

AK: What do you mean Makoto ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MN: First, you have been spending way too much time around Futaba.

AK:’re right. She spends a lot of time in Leblanc.

MN: Secondly I think you know what I’m talking about.

AK: Wait are you mad at me?

MN: Mad? No. Why would I be mad?

AK: You sound kind of pissed. Did I go too far? I was just messing with you, sorry about that.

MN: I’m not mad, I promise. Just a little flustered, I suppose.

AK: Okay that’s fair. What’s up, though?

MN: I just want to clarify a few things with you.

AK: Sure. What “things” did you have in mind?

MN: Firstly about Haru..

AK: I’m listening.

MN: She’s sweet and I very much enjoy her company, however there is nothing going on between the two of us.

AK: Uh huh.

MN: We have only known her for a very short amount of time. I enjoy her company and we get along well, not to mention it’s nice being able to stop by her classroom during lunch and say hello, or have a simple conversation, but really there is nothing going on.

AK: Why do you sound so defensive about this?

MN: Im not getting defensive?

AK: You really are. I won’t push the issue or anything, but whatever you’re feeling is totally okay.

AK: I’ve noticed you and Haru getting pretty close in the safe rooms.

MN: We’re just consulting. She’s still new to this and I want to make sure she’s okay and that she understands what’s going on.

AK: Sure, Makoto. Whatever you say.

MN: On the topic of romance, care to explain what’s going on between you and Yusuke?

AK: It’s complicated.

MN: How is it complicated?

AK: It just is. I don’t know how to explain it.

MN: So there is something going on, correct?

AK: I guess so. Why? Did Ann tell you about it?

MN: She didn’t have to.

AK: Huh.

MN: The two of you are not subtle in the slightest.

AK: That’s...fair.

MN: Are you finally done pining after the pretty art boy?

AK: Below the belt, Makoto. Below the belt.

MN: :)

AK: Can’t believe you just used a smiley I am vaguely threatened right now.

MN: :)


September 28th 2017

4:20 pm




Joker: yusuke.img

Joker: In case anyone was wondering, here is proof that Yusuke is the Ultimate Gay™

Oracle: he just has his leg on the chair why is he the ultimate gay

Joker: Silly Futaba. Gays don’t know how to sit properly.

Panther: is he wearing leather pants?

Joker: Yes.

Panther: how is he doing that in leather? my metaverse costume is all leather and i can hardly do anything.

Joker: Your metaverse costume does not stop you from kicking ass though. I’ve seen you do some unbelievable shit in that.

Panther: i mean yeah but leather is super uncomfortable against skin how is yusuke doing that

Fox: Aesthetic.

Joker: Naturally.

Oracle: how did you get your leg so high in leather :\

Fox: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oracle: :\

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Ultimate Gay Squad ~

Oracle: accurate

Joker: Anyways uh yeah this confirms that Yusuke is the Ultimate Gay™ sorry I don’t make the rules.

Panther: what an achievement

Oracle: how do you feel about this

Fox: This is fine.

Joker: Anyways uh @everyone get your asses over to Leblanc we’re going to infiltrate the dumb fucking space station. We’re close to the treasure so let’s try to finish securing out route today and send the calling card tomorrow.

Panther: got it

Oracle: im on my way

Chapter Text

September 30th 2017

8:10 pm


Ultimate Gay Squad™


Joker: Well that sure was...something.

Noir: Yes.

Queen: How are you doing, Haru?

Noir: I’m a bit conflicted but i think i’ll be okay. Thank you for checking up on me.

Joker: Conflicted?

Noir: Yes. It’s still strange to think that that is what my father truly believes and how he really views his employees.

Noir: He made all his employees, or robots in this case, defend him yet when it came down to it he was weak. All it took was one hit to take him down.

Joker: Yeah. Honestly, it was kind of pathetic.

Noir: It was pathetic, but i can’t help but wonder if that also properly reflects my father. Does he really have all his employees defend him from controversy? Would it really only take one bad rumor getting to him to take down all of okumura foods?

Queen: We cannot be too sure on that one. Okumura foods has been known to have shady rumors surrounding it and the treatment of the employees working there. You may be right, and perhaps it would only take his acknowledgment to bring down the entire company.

Joker: I asked Morgana about it.

Queen: And?

Joker: He said palaces, and everything within them, are always based on cognition. I’m assuming they turn into what they do when their treasure is at risk because that’s how they view themselves, and their defense system.

Joker: Madarame was that painting picasso bullshit because he viewed himself as a work of art. Kaneshiro was a fly because, in Makoto’s words, he’s “a fly on dirty money.”

Joker: I think, by that logic, Okumura was so weak and had no defense for himself because he thought his robots would always protect him, otherwise they would get fired. Everyone else had some line of defense in case anyone ever tried to steal their treasure. Okumura just had robots. Really says something about him, huh?

Noir: I see…

Queen: Don’t worry about it anymore, okay? We stole his treasure and the change of heart should take place soon.

Noir: Okay. Thank you for everything.

Joker: In other news, the evil space station has been defeated and we don’t have to endure that bullshit again.

Queen: Akira is now really the time?

Noir: No he’s right. That was really annoying, and i can only hope the payoff is worth it.

Joker: It is. It’s always worth it.

Joker: But Jesus Christ I didn’t think we would find a palace worse than Kaneshiro. I was very wrong, and almost miss Kaneshiro’s palace.

Queen: Akira you yelled about the vault for days after that palace. Are you sure you miss it?


Joker: Actually you know what no I don’t miss it and the vault can suck my ass.

Noir: What happened with the vault?

Queen: Okay, so you weren’t there for this. Kaneshiro’s palace was a bank, and we needed to get downstairs to what was called the Vault. Essentially it was this giant bank vault full of mini vaults.

Queen: Akira could not figure out how to get downstairs for the life of him.

Queen: About two days of wandering around aimlessly later, Ann pointed out that if we jumped off the pipes we could get downstairs.

Noir: Oh no! That sounds awful.

Queen: It was very awful. I don’t think I have ever heard Akira scream so loud in his life.





Joker: I am… still very angry about this.

Queen: Akira was in a very sour mood for the rest of the palace.

Queen: During the fight with Kaneshiro, when Kaneshiro turned into a fly, Akira just straight up pulled out his gun while Kaneshiro was still talking, and kept repeating the word “no” while shooting Kaneshiro.

Joker: I didn’t want to deal with that.

Joker: No, Kaneshiro, stop that. Just give us the fucking treasure you fiend. We don’t have time for this after all the BULLSHIT we were put through.

Noir: I’m sorry you had to go through that.

Joker: It’s over now I guess.

Queen: Looking back on it, it’s kind of funny.

Joker: For Phantom Thieves we’re kinda dumb.

Queen: Well… I guess you’re right. I’m sure Futaba can help us with that type of thing now.

Joker: @Oracle god dammit gremlin where were you when we needed you.

Oracle: dead why you ask

Joker: Fair.

Joker: We could have used you during that Kaneshiro bullshit smh.

Oracle: sorry i was dying


October 1st 2017

12:00 am


Ultimate Gay Squad™


Oracle: happy fucking halloween assholes

Skull: it is 12 am and barely even october 1st chill gremlin

Oracle: ryuji all of october is halloween smh what are they teaching you in school

Skull: its literly 12:01 am calm down

Oracle: i am going to shove a jack o lantern up my ass

Skull: dont

Oracle: im going to sacrifice a grade schooler to satan

Skull: do not

Oracle: time to change my ringtone to bass boosted spooky scary skeletons

Skull: bad

Oracle: i need to gather as many skeletons and fight in the great skeleton war

Skull: jesus christ dude

Oracle: i need

Oracle: to play overwatch ryuji 1v1 me in overwatch

Skull: sure


October 1st 2017

3:22 am


Ultimate Gay Squad™


~ Oracle has changed the name of the chat to ryuji sucks at overwatch :) ~


Oracle: in the five different rounds we played i beat you in all five

Skull: so? i still killed you a few times

Oracle: you suck at overwatch

Skull: shut up

Oracle: also i take back everything i said about maining a character the hamster is my new main

Skull: dude r u serious i hate that thing

Oracle: he is adorable look at him

Oracle: look as his little baby hamster hands

Skull: why the hell is there a goddamn hamster in overwatch

Oracle: why the hell did they allow a giant monkey

Oracle: dont question the developers

Oracle: the hamster is the best thing they have ever added and you know it

Skull: no the hamster is effin dumb and ur dumb for playing it

Oracle: you just dont like that i kept pushing you in the hole with the hamster ball

Skull: no i dont like the hamster cuz its dumb

Oracle: im sorry what? i cant hear you over me winning every 1v1

Skull: shut


October 1st 2017

6:04 am


ryuji sucks at overwatch


~ Joker has demoted Oracle ~

Oracle: fuck

Joker: Hey stop by Leblanc after school I got something for you.

Oracle: no youre just going to spray me with the fucking spray bottle

Joker: Maybe I wouldn’t if you would stop making yourself mod

Oracle: no you wont make me mod

Joker: Gee wonder why I won’t make you mod.

Oracle: ಠ_ಠ

Oracle: stop being a smatass

Joker: Nah.

Queen: Sorry to interrupt, but I would like to remind you all that exams are taking place towards the end of this month. Get as much study time in as possible.

Joker: Shh

Queen: Akira.

Joker: Shhhhhh

Queen: Akira we have exams.

Joker: Shhhhhhhhh.

Joker: Let me live, Makoto.

Queen: Akira…

Joker: Shhhhhhhhhhhh.

Oracle: leader of the pts everyone

Oracle: badass who does flips and shit

Oracle: kinda scary and has way too much fun killing shadows

Oracle: also refuses to do his exams

Queen: Not quite what I had originally expected from the Phantom Thieves.

Oracle: not what anyone expected but it makes sense

Queen: It makes far too much sense.

Joker: Don’t bully me like this.

Oracle: take your tests akira

Joker: No u

Oracle: fuck-you.png

Joker: Well shit.

Oracle: >:3c


October 2nd 2017

9:19 am


Akira Kurusu → Ryuji Sakamoto


AK: Hey question for you.

RS: wats up?

AK: You remember that time I said Mr. Hiruta is a twink, right?

RS: yh

RS: i have yet to unsee that mental image y

AK: You think he’s a bottom?


AK: Answer the question Sakamoto.

RS: i refuse

AK: Ryuji please.

RS: arent u in the same class as ann? ask her

AK: I did. She hit me.

AK: I also turned around to the kid behind me, god bless him I don’t even know his name but what a trooper, and asked him.

AK: I looked him dead in the eye and asked this student, who probably has so much dirt on me and has yet to rat me out, if our biology teacher is a bottom.

RS: akira… r u serious

AK: Dead serious.

RS: akira

AK: Is Mr. Hiruta a bottom, yes or no?

RS: i mean,,,prolly

RS: y do u even want to kno?

AK: I was spacing out during one of his lectures and somehow got to the thought “hmm I wonder if he’s a top or bottom? He seems like a bottom.”

RS: how the hell does ur mind work wat the fuck

AK: Don’t ask. I have yet to figure that out either.

RS: fair

AK: Real talk though, shout out to the kid behind me. I don’t even know his name but he is my God now.

RS: for real

AK: He can clearly see the cat in my desk, has probably seen me making some shady ass lock picks when the teachers are out of the classroom, probably has full view of my text conversations and has seen the weird shit we’ve all said in main pt group, and hasn’t said jack about any of it. For all I know he is reading this conversation.

AK: Ryuji say hi to him just in case he is reading this.

RS: yo. thanks for not rattin us out ig

AK: Amen.

RS: ok but how did this kid react when u asked him if mr hiruta is a bottom?

AK: He just looked at me all scared and pretended to be doing work.

RS: fair


October 4th 2017

5:39 pm


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Joker: Hey Shujin students I have a proposition for you.

Panther: what?

Skull: ye?

Noir: Yes?

Queen: Akira what are you planning.

Joker: Well, Makoto, since you mentioned exams were soon.

Joker: A certain someone once told me that screaming tends to relieve stress.

Panther: was it yusuke?

Joker: No I wish. Have you ever heard him scream at all since knowing him?

Panther: fair point

Queen: Where are you going with this?

Joker: So to relieve pre-exam stress I propose we all go up to the roof and scream away our stress.

Queen: The roof is off limits, you know this.

Skull: i like that idea lets go

Panther: ryuji are you going to yell the word “fuck” from the rooftop?

Skull: no

Noir: Oh i like that idea!

Queen: Haru no..

Panther: akira that is the dumbest idea you have ever had.

Joker: And?

Panther: if you want to scream from the rooftop i won’t stop you but just know this may be your dumbest idea yet

Joker: Ann hear me out.

Joker: You can scream “fuck Akechi” from the rooftop.

Joker: Think about it.

Joker: Fuck Akechi.



Joker: Fuck Akechi.


Panther: fuck akechi

Noir: Fuck akechi?


Joker: Come on Makoto you can do it.

Skull: u kno u wanna


Queen: ...Fuck Akechi.

Joker: She swear

Skull: she swear

Queen: Don’t make me regret this.

Skull: ok but is that a go ahead to scream on the roof or

Queen: No. Do not scream from the roof.

Joker: But Makotoooo

Queen: No.

Joker: Rooftop scream?

Queen: No.

Skull: rooftop scream :(

Queen: There will be no rooftop scream.

Joker: Can I rooftop scream in hell?

Queen: Akira you can do whatever it is you would like in Hell.

Joker: Does that include snorting crack off of gravestones.

Queen: Except that.

Joker: You can’t stop me.

Queen: I will use necromancy to summon you and use physical force to stop you from snorting crack off of a gravestone. Don’t test me.

Joker: Jesus Christ fine.

Noir: Why would you want to do that akira-kun?

Joker: Long story. I told the pts to snort crack off of my gravestone when I die but Makoto said no.

Noir: That sounds dangerous.

Joker: Maybe so.


October 6th 2017

5:30 am


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Oracle: how do you hide a dead body

Fox: Futaba who did you kill.

Oracle: no one im just curious

Noir: First things first get rid of anything the police could use to identify the body. Remove teeth, nails, fingerprints, dna and anything else that could be used to identify the victim.

Oracle: ok im listening what next

Fox: Futaba, no.

Oracle: dont tell me what to do inari

Noir: A good way to get rid of a body would be to burn it in hydrochloric acid. Acid can burn through the human body and will remove any traces of dna. Soaking the body in a vat of acid would work.

Oracle: thats a lot of acid

Fox: Where would you even get that much acid?

Oracle: your local drug dealer

Fox: Not that kind of acid.

Oracle: cant believe inari does drugs >:3c

Oracle: actually nvm he probably inhales paint on a daily

Fox: Not intentionally.

Oracle: how ventilated is your dorm room


Oracle: do you at least open the window

Fox: Sometimes.

Oracle: point proven youre high

Fox: Not quite.

Oracle: haru continue

Noir: Another way to rid a dead body would to bury it, however if you do that you would have to put a decoy somewhere. Police have special dogs that are meant to track the scent of the dead, so if you bury a dead animal a few feet above the dead body the police will think it’s a false alarm. Problem with that would be that you would have to kill an animal, and they have done nothing wrong.

Oracle: dont kill animals

Noir: If you do bury the body it would be best to do so where there is a freshly dug grave and just double up the bodies so that no one gets suspicious, or if you’re in the forest cover up the fresh dirt with leaves and other things found in the forest.

Oracle: good advice

Fox: What do you mean by a “freshly dug grave?” Like a grave in a cemetery?

Noir: Yes, exactly that. A cemetery would be the place the cops are not going to look if they try to find the body. If they did look there, they wouldn’t be able to find anything.

Oracle: so you mean hide the body in plain sight >:3

Noir: Precisely.

Noir: You could also feed a dead body to pigs. Pigs will eat anything. Just be sure to rid the body of its teeth and hair so that the piggies don’t choke on it. You will also need a lot of pigs.

Oracle: how many pigs

Noir: Around 15-20 pigs, depending how big the body is. Maybe more.

Oracle: thats a lot of pigs

Noir: It is.

Fox: Haru how do you know all of this?

Noir: We all have our hobbies~

Fox: You mean you kill and hide bodies for fun?

Noir: No nothing like that! I just watch a lot of cop shows and do a lot of research~

Noir: I could never kill anyone. I’m just fascinated by the way killers’ brains work and i like looking into those sorts of things. I have never killed anyone, i promise!

Oracle: :\

Oracle: i dont believe that

Noir: I would never do anything like that!

Oracle: thats exactly what a killer would say

Oracle: if you kill for fun i wont judge you like you said we all have our hobbies

Fox: Right, like Futaba hacks into stuff that she should not hack into.

Oracle: and inari gets high off of his paint

Fox: Wrong.

Oracle: hey if you like to inhale paint i wont judge you for it

Fox: I am not inhaling paint.

Oracle: thats a lie youre always inhaling paint its just not intentional

Fox: I…

Fox: Okay.

Oracle: inaris just annoyed that i hacked into his phone and changed his phone background to pepe

Noir: That’s impressive futaba! Your skills are truly incredible!

Fox: They’re impressive when they aren’t being used against me.

Oracle: cant stop me

Fox: At the very least you could have changed my phone background to something aesthetically pleasing.

Oracle: wdym pepe is the most pleasing thing i have ever seen

Oracle: rip pepe gone but never forgotten

Fox: Isn’t that considered a hate symbol now?

Oracle: ye

Noir: Oh my.

Oracle: tell you what inari ill change your background to a picture i got of akira mid yawn

Fox: Or you could leave my phone alone and let me change it myself.

Oracle: nah

Fox: Did you really change it to Akira mid-yawn?

Oracle: yh

Fox: How did you even get a picture from this angle…

Oracle: i took the picture from his camera while he was using his phone

Fox: That is...disturbing.


October 7th 2017

7:20 am


Haru Okumura → Makoto Niijima


HO: Hi mako-chan! I was just wondering if after school today you might be able to assist me? I have to attend to the plants, but there’s a lot of them. It’s going to take a long time with just one person and my father wants me to attend a meeting for him today, so i don’t have much time. Could you help me?

MN: Of course! I would be more than happy to help you. I must warn you though, I don’t know a lot about gardening.

HO: That’s okay, i can teach you!

MN: In that case I can most definitely assist. You’ll have to tell me what to do.

HO: Sure thing! Thank you so much for helping!

MN: Anytime, Haru. If you ever need help with anything, you can count on me.

HO: Thank you!


October 8th 2017

9:18 pm


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Oracle: kink-of-the-hill.jpg

Fox: Why do you feel the need to share this with the group?

Oracle: i saw it and it felt important

Oracle: also i thought of akira

Joker: What

Oracle: that drag outfit tho,,makoto and haru made you look like a fucking dominatrix cop

Joker: I asked to be made beautiful and was not disappointed. Although leather against skin feels awful.

Skull: im kinkshaming



Oracle: akira? a sadomasochist and a dominatrix? more likely than you think >:3

Oracle: you got a good deal from this inari

Fox: I’m ignoring that comment.

Oracle: press f to pay respects

Oracle: f

Skull: f

Panther: f

Fox: F

Joker: f

Joker: Also Ann when did you come in?

Panther: just now

Skull: i just read the kink of the hill thing nd immediately thought

Skull: fetish of the farm

Panther: kajddaflhkealkfj

Joker: Thanks I hate it

Oracle: compulsion of the company?



Fox: Going to Church and praying for forgiveness.

Panther: akhdlkhsfsd

Panther: I have to agree with yusuke here pffft

Joker: Yusuke you have no room to talk. You made me t-pose in a church.


Fox: I did not make you “t-pose,” and I was using you as a model.

Skull: cant believe akira tposed in a church

Oracle: did you tpose the priest into a corner to assert your dominance over him

Panther: i swear this chat just gets dumber and dumber every day

Joker: Unfortunately, no, but I should have. The priest basically said Yusuke’s theme was wrong.

Fox: Not quite. He said that what I was choosing to portray didn’t quite fit the theme.

Joker: Same thing.

Fox: No.

Panther: this is really gay

Joker: You’re really gay.

Panther: shit you got me

Joker: Oh hey how’s Shiho?

Panther: she’s great! i bought her a stuffed panda holding a heart because i thought it was cute and my heart melted she was so happy

Panther: she’s so adorable ahh i need to see her soon i miss her

Joker: Ann that is really gay.

Panther: you’re really gay what’s your point

Fox: Can confirm.

Joker: Shit you got me there.

Skull: ur bringing it back finally

Oracle: this entire chat is really gay :\

Joker: What’s your point?

Oracle: you got me there


October 9th 2017

4:48 pm


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Queen: Haru, are there any updates on Okumura?

Noir: As of right now, no. He’s mostly been locked up in his office and only occasionally comes out for small periods of time.

Noir: However i have overheard bits and pieces of what i think were phone conversations.

Joker: Whatcha got Haru?

Noir: I’m not too sure. He’s trying to set something up, but i can’t completely tell yet. I’ll let you know when i get more information.

Noir: I’m sorry i don’t have more to share.

Joker: Don’t be. We’ll know what’s happening within a few days.

Noir: How can i be sure when a change of heart takes place?

Queen: Trust me, you’ll know. So far it seems as if he is following the same basic formatting all of our other targets have gone through during a change of heart.

Noir: What do you mean?

Joker: It seems most of our targets sort of go MIA for awhile afterwards. Kamoshida was absent from school before finally confessing, Madarame had remained bedridden before confessing during a press conference, Kaneshiro sort of went silent before finally confessing. The only wild card there had been Futaba and Medjed, however that was a completely different issue.

Queen: As of right now, it sounds as if a change of heart is taking place. We’ll just have to wait a little longer before something starts happening.

Noir: I see…

Noir: Now that you mention it, kamoshida had been absent for almost two weeks before confessing in front of the whole school. None of the targets have confessed directly after receiving a calling card, but rather several days after.

Queen: Exactly. You must give it time before the change of heart really sets in. It’s not something that just happens overnight.

Noir: Okay. I will keep you all updated.


October 10th 2017

8:17 pm


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Noir: Oh wow i didn’t expect to have any updates right away but i have something to share!

Panther: oh yeah?

Queen: What did you find out?

Noir: My father arranged for an emergency press conference tomorrow night.

Joker: So what are we thinking? Do you want to gather at Leblanc tomorrow night and watch it together?

Queen: This may be when we finally find out about the mental shutdowns.

Joker: We might also find more information about the “one in the black mask.” Kaneshiro was the last person to mention him, and what he said was rather unsettling. Perhaps he has something to do with the mental shutdowns?

Panther: it’s possible. kaneshiro did say that the one in the black mask was using palaces to accomplish whatever he wanted to… mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdowns might not be out of that realm of possibility

Noir: Black mask…?

Queen: We haven’t talked to you about that, have we Haru?

Oracle: why am i just now hearing about the black mask :\

Joker: Right. We haven’t talked about it since Kaneshiro. We’ll have to spend more time looking into it. I’ll explain everything later, alright?

Noir: Actually about the press conference. I have a proposal.

Queen: Sure. What is it?

Noir: I was thinking we could watch the press conference at destinyland? There’s supposed to be fireworks, and we would have the park all to ourselves.

Joker: Are you serious? That’s expensive as shit.

Noir: Oh don’t worry about it! I have that all taken care of.

Noir: A meeting was supposed to be arranged to take place at destinyland but it was cancelled. We still have that spot open, so i can just call and let them know. We would have the entire place to ourselves.

Queen: Are you sure, Haru?

Noir: Yes! I want to have fun with it. Think of it as a celebration for a job well done?

Panther: now that i think about it, we haven’t had a celebration party in a while…

Panther: pre-celebration party for another change of heart and for haru’s addition to the team?

Joker: In that case..

Joker: Haru are you sure you want to do this for us?

Noir: Yes! You all have done so much for me, i would like to do something in return.

Joker: @Everyone

Joker: Celebration party at Destinyland tomorrow. We gonna watch the press conference.

Chapter Text

October 11th 2017

8:45 pm


Destinyland, Akira had come to learn, truly was a Kingdom of Dreams. At least, that’s what all the commercials had to say about it. Perhaps the directors behind those commercials were onto something.

The staff had provided delicious meals for the group, all of which were completely free of charge. They had even prepared several plates of sushi at Morgana’s request. Fireworks were supposedly to go off around nine, the same time the press conference started.

Akira sat at the end of the table, Ryuji directly to his right, and Futaba to his left. The table had been set underneath several lights, overlooking a lake in the center of it all. Bright stars from the night sky reflected into the water, as if bits of the atmosphere had fallen into the lake, itself. For the first time in a long time, all the tension and stress Akira had been carrying had completely dispersed.

Ann leaned forward in her chair. “This view really is beautiful.” Black cat ears sat on her head, courtesy of the Destinyland gift shop.

“‘It’s almost as beautiful as you.’” Futaba dawned in a faux british accent. She giggled before following it up with “That’s the kind of stuff couples say, right?”

The other girl returned the laugh. “Almost anyone would fall for a line like that in front of a scene like this.”

“That’s the kinda stuff Akira would say to Inari.” Futaba elbowed Akira in the side.

Akira pushed his glasses up the bridge of the nose. Ideally, he would be able to do that anime-glasses-glint thing, but reality was, unfortunately, not on his side. “Yusuke--”

“Don’t.” Yusuke shook his head from where he sat on the other side of the table.

Akira smirked. “Aww, but honey--”


“Really, this view is almost as beautiful as--”

“It’s not going to work.”

“It’s almost as beautiful as you.”


Futaba grinned a devious, cheshire cat grin. “Come on, Inari, that didn’t work?” She widened her eyes. “I thought that line worked on everyone.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes, but there was no hiding the childish smile on his face. Akira wished Yusuke would smile like that more often. He turned his attention back to Akira. “You’re going to have to try harder.”

Ryuji playfully rolled his eyes and lightly nudged Ann’s arm with his elbow. “C’mon, you guys are gettin’ way too excited stuff.” Akira couldn’t but find it semi-ironic that Ryuji was attempting to tell them off while wearing a bear headband.

Kingdom of Dreams, huh? Akira thought with a tight smirk. Maybe it is.

“You say that like you’re not tapping into your inner child too, Ryuji.” Ann set her hand on Ryuji’s arm and gave a reassuring squeeze. With her other hand, she gestured to the bear ears.

Ryuji sputtered. “That’s just ‘cause Futaba kept nagging me to put them on.”

Futaba reached across Akira and cast Ryuji a look that was anything but innocent. “I did not.” She crossed her arms adolescently.

“You said something like that.”

With a shrug, Akira managed to push Futaba back into her seat. He turned his attention to the delinquent to the other side of him. “Don’t fight in those.” Loosely, he swatted at one of the fuzzy bear ears.

Ryuji scowled. He opened his mouth to protest, but was cut off.

Yusuke rested one leg on his chair and tucked a strand of blue hair behind his ear. “This is so heartwarming.”

Akira couldn’t have agreed more with that statement.

“I would have liked to have seen the parade as well, but given how sudden the request was, they couldn’t get enough staff together to do it.” Haru admitted. She clasped her hands in front of her, lingering behind Makoto’s chair at the other end of the table. In the little time they had known Haru, somehow she and Makoto had developed a bond that Akira was not sure he could fully comprehend. Whatever was between them, he hoped for the best. As long as they were happy, he supposed. Besides, they worked well together.

Makoto turned around to face Haru, a smitten smile painted across her face. “Perhaps that will have to wait until next time.” In response, Haru just giggled.

At that moment, Akira’s phone buzzed softly in his pocket.


October 11th 2017

8:49 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: I didn’t want to say anything in front of the others, to avoid disturbing them.

YK: We haven’t had much time to talk, just the two of us. Could you come with me for a moment?

AK: Yes.


October 11th 2017

8:50 pm


Akira met Yusuke’s gaze from the other side of the table. Careful not to disturb Ryuji and Futaba’s soft bickering, he stood and allowed himself to be pulled away from the table. Not like anyone would notice, anyway. They’d be back before the conference.

They walked a bit away from the table. Yusuke lead Akira between a closed food stand and some sort of gift shop, a spot overlooking the water.

“What’s up?” Akira asked. His heart purred in content. Somehow, Yusuke just had that effect on him. Somehow, Akira had also grown to accept that he was tripping over himself for Yusuke. Akira wondered if Yusuke knew just how much Akira really wanted him.

“I missed you.” Yusuke admitted. He spoke the words naturally, as if they had been together for years.

Akira bit his bottom lip. “How are you able to just say that?” He forced himself to remain calm, even if somewhere inside everything was churning in want.

“It’s the truth.”

Akira bit back a lovestruck laugh. He leaned over the railing, overlooking the water. His mouth curled into a smile of pure fondness, much to his dismay. “You’re smoothe, Yusuke Kitagawa.”

“Hmm? You’re breaking out the full name?” Yusuke leaned against the railing, right next to Akira. “You’re not to bad yourself, Akira.”

It took every inch of willpower to resist the urge to reach out and grab Yusuke’s hand. “Aww, you’re not going to use my full name? That’s too bad, I bet it would sound real good coming from you.”

Yusuke chuckled, and Akira swore all of his pain was gone. He wasn’t completely sure he could recall what pain was.

“You know, I think Ann was right.” Yusuke admitted. “This view is almost indescribable. I hope one day I can capture beauty like this in my artwork.”

“Way to change the subject.” Akira brushed the back of his hand against Yusuke’s. He turned his attention towards the lake. “She might have been onto something. This view is almost… serene?”

“I’m not sure ‘serene’ is what I would use for it, but it is a good start.”

“Oh yeah? What would you use?”

Yusuke gripped the white railing. A faraway look reflected in his steel grey eyes. His blue hair blew gently in the wind. Akira yearned to run his fingers through that hair. In the moonlight, he could almost make out the dark roots of his hair.

“Perhaps ‘fond’? Or ‘ardent’?”

“‘Ardent’? Huh, interesting choice.” Akira folded his arms over the railing. Soft flecks of light from the sky reflected into the water. “Ann was right about something, at least.” That part was mostly under his breath.

“She just might have.” Yusuke agreed. His breath was but a whisper.

Fuck it. Akira thought. He scooted a bit closer to Yusuke and laid his head on Yusuke’s shoulder. With Yusuke, you had to be direct. He wasn’t good about picking up on certain hints, and why waste time on it?

Yusuke moved his arm, and wrapped it around Akira, almost like at the fireworks festival. That same butterfly feeling returned, just as he had felt back then. Only now, it was much more intense. It was almost like turning up the voltage on a car battery.

Akira’s heart crawled into his throat. He was vaguely aware of how his hands were slightly shaking, whether it be in anxiety or desire, he wasn’t sure.

“You know, it’s funny,” Yusuke muttered. “To think at one point I hated you, when all you were trying to do was protect me. How the tables have turned since then.”

“We were a little pushy.” Akira admitted. “Although, we really just wanted to keep you safe. I guess things are different now.”

“Indeed they are.”

Akira nuzzled his head into the crook of Yusuke’s neck. “Why do you mention that? What’s on your mind?”

“You.” Yusuke spoke the word like a prayer. “Lately, I find that you’re the only thing on my mind.”

“I guess we’re one in the same, then.” Something within Akira burned bright, brighter than anything else he had ever witnessed.

Yusuke pulled his arm back, and Akira, begrudgingly, lifted his head. Instead, Yusuke allowed his hand to brush against Akira’s cheek.

Akira took a step closer. He stared directly into Yusuke’s eyes. Someone could get lost in those eyes, Akira figured. He found himself unable to pull his gaze away.

“Beautiful.” Yusuke whispered in awe.

“What is?” Akira was as light as a feather, his hand clasped firmly against Yusuke’s cheek. When had that happened? In the moment, it seemed, no matter what happened, he would be okay. Everything would all work out in the end. It always did.


The distance between them closed, and Akira found a set of soft, slightly chapped lips against his own, as if it were a brilliant touch of satin against skin. Soft sparks shot up Akira’s spine and a passion of pure fire lit between them; everything he had wanted for so long was all within reach, perhaps even closer. The world could have stopped and everything could have come crashing down, and quite frankly Akira wouldn’t have cared.

A few loud cracks rang through, followed by streaks of colorful lights to shine in the luminous night sky. Despite the cold of the mid autumn air, Akira had never been warmer. Somehow, Yusuke’s arms had wrapped around Akira’s waist, and Akira gripped fist fulls of Yusuke’s silky hair, and damn was it soft, and somehow for the first time in his life everything was completely and utterly perfect.

It seemed like they remained there for an eternity. In all actuality, it couldn’t have been more than a few seconds. If only he could have lived in the moment forever.

Perhaps it was just a trick of the light, or lack thereof anyhow, but Yusuke’s cheeks were flushed a light shade of pink. Akira was conscious of the fact that Yusuke still had a firm hold on his waist.

“I thought you said kissing was gross.” Yusuke expressed. How did he remember that conversation?

Akira breathed out a soft giggle. “Yeah, well, I still stand by that but I can make some exceptions.”

To prove his point further, he leaned forward and pulled Yusuke in for another kiss.


October 11th 2017

8:59 pm


“Huh? Where’d Akira and Yusuke go?”

“They prolly just went off somewhere on their own for a bit.”

“Wonder if Akira finally got over himself and asked the pretty art boy out?”

“I hope so. I love Akira to pieces, but his pining was getting a little painful.”

“That’s funny coming from you, Makoto.”

“Huh? Just what do you mean by that?”

“Oh nothing… heheh.”

“They’ve been gone an awfully long time. The conference is going to start soon.”

“Thousand yen says they’re fucking behind a dumpster somewhere.”


“Relax, it was a joke. Right, Futaba?”

“Of course.”

“Oh thank God.”

“They’re fucking behind Akechi.”


Somehow, by the time Akira had gotten back, the table had turned to complete chaos. Their yelling was audible before he got anywhere near it. Then again, not like he expected much else. If the table had been quiet he would have been a little more concerned. They were nothing if not chaotic.

“We’re back, you can calm down now.” Akira shoved his hands in his pants pockets to prevent himself from reaching out and grabbing Yusuke’s hand. “No, we weren’t fucking behind Akechi or a dumpster. I’m a little classier than that, wouldn’t you agree?”

“I dunno, dude. You said in chat that you’d fuck Akechi, and he’s prolly got at least some sort of disease.” Ryuji said. He crossed his leg over his knee and leaned back in his chair hesitantly.

Akira pulled his chair out from the table, lightly smacking the back of Ryuji’s head in the process,  and sat down. “I never explicitly stated I would fuck him.”

“Okay, so would you fuck him?” Ryuji raised an eyebrow.

“No, absolutely not.” Akira met Yusuke’s eye from across the table and subtly dropped a slight wink. Yusuke shook his head in response.

“Hey! You can discuss this later, the conference is starting.” Ann cut in.

Somehow, Akira found himself looking between his, Futaba’s and Ryuji’s phone.

Haru leaned over to get a view of Makoto’s screen. “Father…” The word was but a sad, lone whisper, lost to the world. It was most likely to herself more than anything, but he still managed to catch sight of it. He had a sneaking suspicion the rest of the table had, as well.

Okumura appeared on screen in front of a conference table, surrounded by microphones. Dark shadows stood out under his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept in weeks. His hair was a little more tossed than it had been last time Akira had seen him. Okumura rose from his seat and spoke.

“Thank you all for taking time out of your busy schedules to gather here. Today, I’d like to elaborate on the whole truth behind my company’s ‘labor’ situation.” His voice was calm, but hollow, filled with a deep, purple regret. “...How my employees were forced to work under severe conditions, how… ‘lax’ we were with sanitation, and how my corporation acted as a whole to cover up every facet of this scandal. For all of this, I wholeheartedly apologize.” His voice cracked on that last line, in the way that it would when choking back tears. Akira was all too familiar with that moment, when your body betrayed you like that.

Okumura bowed his head in apology. Camera flashes echoed from the speakers, most likely from journalists and reporters attending the conference in person.

A journalist’s voice picked up from off screen. “So are you saying all of this was done under your orders?”

Okumura picked himself back in the upright position and nodded. “Yes. I am solely responsible for all of this.

The same journalist spoke up once more. “We heard that dozens if your employees were forced to resign due to mysterious illness. Furthermore, these happened to be officials who stood against your proposal for overseas expansion. The same thing also happened to executives at competing companies who were looking to expand abroad. Is all this true?”

“Yes.” Okumura nodded once more.

“Was it all coincidence?”

He paused, and averted his gaze to the side.

“We’d like some answers, please.”

Okumura sighed. “About that. I have a critical piece of information to announce here today.”

Ryuji prodded Akira’s arm with his elbow. “This is it.”

Morgana spoke up from where he stood, looking over Ann’s shoulder at her phone. “Here it comes. Okumura’s going to say who’s behind the mental shutdowns.”

Akira’s head swam with all this newfound information. Was this really it? The moment they had been waiting for?

Okumura sat down at the table. “I…”

Suddenly, his eyes widened. The various microphones echoed his voice, and he released a small, pained wheeze. He clawed at the front of his white dress shirt, before throwing his head back and letting out a bloodcurdling hiss of pain. Static and pleads of torment filled with pure agony filled the air, before his limp body dropped to the table like a ragdoll. Deep specks of crimson stained the crisp white table cloth. Whispers of terror and confusion came from the crowd somewhere off screen.

Someone approached the table. “Okumura-san?”

He lifted his head up in the same way a marionette operated by an amateur puppeteer would move. Waves of thick, sticky black-red blood poured from his eye sockets, devoid of any pupil, and mouth. The camera views began to skip, the movements shaky, until eventually the visuals and audio cut out entirely, and a screen reading “please stand by” took its place.

No one said anything. A dull ache, right behind Akira’s eyes, throbbed in confusion. What just happened? Did…. Did Okumura just?

Haru was the first to react. “F-father?!” She sprung up immediately and fumbled with her small, pink hand purse.

“Why did he collapse?” Ann stammered.

Makoto stood, nearly kicking her chair over in the process. “That didn’t look right. Don’t tell me, he…” Desperation and anxiety coated her words, reflecting exactly just how everyone else felt.

Haru gripped her phone so fiercely her knuckles turned white. “Mona-chan, what’s going on?”

“No, that’s impossible!” Morgana shook his head. His tail swished back and forth in anticipation.

Akira slammed his hands down on the table. “We did everything the same. What just happened?”

Morgana rubbed at his eyes with a paw. “You’re right. We followed the same steps and everything. We made sure we just took the treasure, too”

“Secure a route, send a calling card, steal the treasure. We did all of that right, and somehow he still collapsed. What did we do wrong?” Despite everything going on internally, Akira managed to keep his voice level. A good leader had to remain strong, even in times of crisis. He couldn’t allow himself to go into panic mode; not yet. If anyone on the team had to stay composed, it was him.

Haru bit her lip harshly. “I should call home.” Before she even finished the statement she took off, already punching a number into her phone.

Ann tugged at the bottom of one of her pigtails restlessly. “This isn’t our it?” She croaked. “It’s been okay every other time we’ve done this.”

Makoto jerked her head towards Morgana. “If we let the shadow live, the person won’t undergo mental shutdown. Right?” She practically demanded.

Morgana nodded. “That’s how it should work.”

Ryuji’s eyebrows knit together. “Yeah, it’s gotta be. That’s how it’s worked every other time.” Even he was near defeat.

Futaba, who had been silent up until that point, made a noise somewhere between a sob and a gasp. She dropped her phone as if it had burned her hand and clamped her hands over her ears.

Yusuke was the first to react to this. He approached her and spoke calmly and with understanding. “What’s wrong?”

She squeezed her eyes shut. “This… it’s the same….” Her voice shook violently. “It’’s just like what happened…” She gulped. “What happened to my mom..”

Futaba reached out and clung to his arm, like a young boy clinging to his mother.

Yusuke patted her head softly with her free hand. “So this is what happens when mental shutdown occurs.”

“But why did they target Okumura-san?” Makoto wondered out loud. No one had an answer for her.

At that moment Haru returned, and any shred of stability Akira had broke away.

“Um… I have to go.” Haru muttered. The area beneath her eyes were red. “I’ll talk to the staff before I leave. Feel free to take your time.” Before anyone could respond she had already rushed off.

“This ain’t our fault, right?” Ryuji rasped. His hands were fists balled at his sides.

Yusuke, who still had Futaba at his side, ran a hand through his hair. Akira barely caught notice of an area, right above his left eyebrow that was oddly colored from the rest of his skin. Yusuke’s hair fell back into place before Akira could really look at it. At a more reasonable time, he would have to ask about it.

“I’d like to think so.” Yusuke sighed. Futaba dug her face closer into his chest.

Akira’s arms shook. His breaths were much shallower than normal, and all the pieces of his heart began to chip off and dissolve into nothingness. So much for staying strong, he bleakly thought.

What went wrong?


October 12th 2017

12:12 am


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Queen: Seeing as how no one has said anything yet, I suppose I’ll have to.

Queen: What… what happened?

Fox: It would seem that Okumura suffered a mental shutdown. Which begs the question how did that happen in the first place? We followed all the same requirements. How could this be?

Oracle: we did everything the same what went wrong?

Panther: this couldn’t have been our doing… could it?

Skull: it cnt b we did evrythin rite

Queen: Futaba, how are you holding up?

Oracle: im

Oracle: im not sure

Skull: it aint ur fault futaba, just rememeber that

Oracle: thanks…

Oracle: rememeber

Skull: shhh

Panther: “rememeber” huh?

Skull: shhhhh

Fox: How do you even misspell a word like that?

Skull: look it aint bully ryuji hours shh

Oracle: its always bully ryuji hours

Skull: bite me

Oracle: ill pass :\

Queen: Well, at least we can joke around and try to lighten the mood a bit..

Fox: In situations like this, sometimes it’s nice to take your mind off things. We already established that we don’t know quite what happened, or how it happened. As of right now, all we can do is wait for more information to be released.

Skull: ah man...ppl r gonna blame us 4 this rnt they

Fox: How is your spelling somehow worse than usual?

Skull: lsten yusuke

Skull: ive gven up 4 now

Fox: Doesn’t it take more effort to spell like that than just typing normally would?

Skull: no

Joker: Why did I just come in the chat to see this I was expecting this to be really sad and didn’t want to deal with it.

Panther: aren’t you the leader? don’t you kinda have to deal with sad stuff?

Joker: I mean yeah but right now everything hurts and I don’t have the energy to deal with emotions right now.

Oracle: thats a constant mood

Joker: Hey Futaba I have a question for you?

Oracle: yeah?

Joker: How did it feel having your face pressed into Yusuke’s chest like that and how can I sign up to be hugged by Yusuke?

Oracle: it felt like holding a stick but it was oddly comforting

Fox: That is the nicest thing you have ever said to me.

Oracle: :\ yea thats all youre getting

Fox: I’ll accept that.

Joker: Hey Yusuke wanna come over and hold me like that?

Fox: The trains have all stopped running for tonight, otherwise I would.

Panther: god i can’t get the image of okumura’s face out of my head…

Skull: this sux

Joker: Yeah this is when I leave haha not dealing with this.

Skull: u cant avoid it forever dude

Joker: I can damn well try.

Joker: Fuck you and your emotional bullshit bye.

Oracle: can i get that on my wall

Queen: Is he okay?

Skull: r u really askin tht rn?

Queen: I suppose that was… a dumb question. My apologies.

Queen: I can’t help but notice that Haru is absent from this conversation. Has anyone tried contacting her?

Panther: not yet. i’m going to text her tomorrow and see if i get anything.

Skull: she prolly has a lot to deal with rn

Oracle: hey uh...sorry to ask this but its been bothering me since the conference

Oracle: do you think haru is going to hate us after this?

Panther: what?

Oracle: i mean that was her father and right now it looks like its our fault

Oracle: haru would have every reason to hate us for what happened and she might want nothing to do with us right now

Fox: Futaba, you’re thinking too much. We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, but for now don’t worry about it.

Oracle: hhhhhhhhhhhhhok


October 12th 2017

12:23 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: You left the chat rather abruptly. Are you alright?

AK: I’m fine.

YK: Akira, between you and me, we both know the term “I’m fine” is to be used when someone is quite the opposite.

AK: You are...too observant sometimes, you know that?

AK: I’m just a little freaked out right now, you know? Given what happened tonight, I think I can at least do that.

AK: Since the press conference I have gotten Mishima texting me asking if we killed him, Shinya texted me asking if the Phantom Thieves did that shit to Okumura, Morgana went on a walk, and everyone is expecting me to be strong because I’m the leader and I’m really trying to keep it together but god dammit we might have just killed someone and I don’t know what went wrong we did everything the same. Everything was perfect and you were perfect and the scenery was fucking perfect and then the press conference happened and nothing is fucking perfect it all came to shit right when I let my goddamn guard down. Yusuke this might be all our fault. I might be a delinquent but I’m not a fucking murderer and we are potentially responsible for murder no I’m not fucking alright I’m the asshole who lead a shit ton of thieves to take down this guy and possibly fucking kill him.

YK: Akira, breathe.

YK: What happened tonight was a tragedy. An unexplainable tragedy that none of us could have predicted.

YK: I promise you, it is not your fault. We did everything the same and this has never happened before, so what happened tonight was not because of us. I don’t know what happened behind the scenes, or why, but this is not our fault.

YK: We did not kill Okumura, you did not kill Okumura, and you are doing an incredible job as our leader. Staying strong doesn’t mean you have to power through it and endure everything that’s happening. Had that been the case, then I would still be under Madarame’s care tonight. Staying strong is recognizing something is wrong and trying to fix it, no matter what sort of obstacle is thrown at you. Sometimes you might fall down during this process, and you might be tempted to stay down. Don’t stay down. If you fall, then it’s okay. You just need to stand back up again and keep fighting.

YK: You are the bravest fighter I have ever seen, both in battle and out of battle. You’ve been labeled a delinquent, a criminal, an outcast by society and yet here you are, leading a band of outcasts and actively trying to fix the corruptness in our world. Whatever you’re thinking about yourself, don’t. You are amazing and sometimes things get out of hand and are a little too much to handle. Don’t blame yourself for this.

AK: I…

AK: I’m sorry. I’m just… My head hurts so bad right now, ow.

YK: Turn down the brightness on your phone, avoid bright lights, drink some water, take aspirin if you have some, get something to eat if you have not. It most likely won’t completely get rid of your headache but it should help a little. Try to get some sleep if you can.

AK: Sorry for being so weak right now.

YK: You’re not weak.

AK: God, I miss you so much. What happened in front of the water tonight, that was… that was amazing. It’s too bad the conference ruined it.

YK: The conference didn’t ruin it. Again, what happened was a tragedy that could not have been predicted, but everything before that was, well, perfect.

YK: You are perfect. I don’t completely understand it or understand why I’m so drawn to you, but you’re everything I could ever want and more. I don’t regret what happened between us tonight.

AK: I miss you. I wish you were here right now..

YK: I wish I was, too.

Chapter Text


October 12th 2017

7:40 am


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Uh.. hey. I just wanted to say, thank you for last night.

AK: I just reread that conversation and, thanks. Sometimes, we all need a shoulder to lean on, and I appreciate you reaching out to me like that. Shit’s just getting really stressful, you know?

AK: And well… Before all that shit happened. I guess at some point we should probably talk about what happened between us, right before the conference. I can’t begin to explain what was going through my mind there, but dammit it felt real nice. Not sure if you feel the same way.

AK: But, yeah. I like you.

AK: Not even that, it’s so much more than just “like” but I wouldn’t even know what else to call it. I have… really strong feelings for you. At first they were easy to ignore and just brush off but now you’re on my mind almost every waking moment, and it almost feels like…

YK: Like everything isn’t going to hell right now? That, while the rest of the world may be turning against us, it doesn’t matter because I know that you’re still here?

AK: ...Exactly like that.

AK: I guess… you feel it too?

YK: Yes.

AK: What does this make us?

YK: I don’t know. What do you want it to make us?

AK: I mean…

AK: God, given all the shit going on right now, I don’t even know.

AK: And it sucks because fuck, I want you so bad, but there’s so much bullshit going on and just… I don’t know.

YK: You already have me, Akira.

YK: Whatever happens, you won’t lose me.

AK: Christ you’re good.


October 12th 2017

3:50 pm


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Queen: Has anyone heard anything from Haru since last night?

Skull: no

Panther: no

Joker: No..

Oracle: no

Fox: No.

Panther: was she at school today?

Queen: I didn’t see her, no.

Skull: dammit…

Panther: this sucks.

Joker: Yep.

Skull: futaba wats the media saying?

Oracle: things arent looking good

Oracle: people think we were the ones who killed them

Joker: I talked to Mishima today. He said that media is mostly silent… for now.

Panther: we did everything the same, right?

Skull: wat went wrong here

Skull: dammit it really pisses me off. we did everythin the exact same yet he still died. wat went wrong?!

Oracle: what are we going to do

Fox: I’m not sure there’s anything we can do, except try to prove our innocence. We did the exact same thing as always and yet somehow Okumura suffered for it.

Joker: We need to lay low for now, at least until we can somehow prove that we didn’t do it. There’s no way we’re responsible for this, right?

Oracle: jokers right all we can do is lay low

Fox: If only there was something we could have done to prevent this..

Joker: We can’t change the past now, all we can do is try to correct it and uncover the truth.

Joker: Dammit… right now, I just want to sleep for the next few weeks. Maybe everything will have blown over, then.

Oracle: yeah…


October 12th 2017

11:39 pm


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Noir: My apologies for the absence. Everything is a little crazy on my end right now. I’m not quite sure how to feel about the Phantom Thieves or what went down there, but as of right now there’s not much else we can do.

Noir: If it’s not too much of a bother, i would like to arrange a meeting for tomorrow. There’s some things that would be best if we were to discuss in person.

Queen: Haru, welcome back. We’re glad to see you safe. Tomorrow we can most definitely hold a meeting and discuss the events that perspired last night if you would like.

Noir: Thank you mako-chan. If we could meet tomorrow that would be nice.

Joker: Sure thing, Haru. Whatever you need.

Noir: Thank you.


October 13th 2017

4:02 am


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Oracle: dmv.png

Fox: I’m sorry?

Oracle: gucci.png

Fox: Futaba what does that even mean?

Oracle: you cant steal the gucci treasure


October 13th 2017

7:12 am


ryuji sucks at overwatch


Oracle: what the fuck does that mean

Fox: What?

Oracle: last night i woke up and for some reason those edits seemed… so important

Oracle: and then i just passed out again

Fox: I’m just surprised you slept last night.

Oracle: thats more than you can say you were awake to respond to my edits :|

Fox: Well, I suppose that’s true.

Fox: What do those edits even mean?

Oracle: i have no idea

Oracle: they made perfect sense when i made them but now i have no idea

Fox: Why can’t we steal the gucci treasure?

Oracle: idk

Oracle: did you know they make gucci handcuffs?

Fox: What?

Oracle: yeah ikr

Oracle: handcuffs.jpg

Oracle: 6500000 yen

Fox: Why would you ever buy those?

Oracle: for when youre really kinky and really high class ig

Fox: So… Akira?

Oracle: you say that like you know from experience

Oracle: what have you been up to inari >:3c

Fox: Painting and trying to figure out what my emotions are doing, as well as doing thief work which may or may not have just backfired on us.

Oracle: well shit

Oracle: you good inari?

Fox: No. After everything with Okumura, absolutely not.

Oracle: i mean

Oracle: yea

Oracle: that about sums it up

Oracle: hey if you like the gucci handcuffs how about a supreme crowbar :3

Fox: A what?

Oracle: supreme.img

Fox: Why does that exist?

Oracle: idk but its over 33000 yen

Fox: Why would anyone buy that when you can get a normal crowbar for maybe 1000 yen?

Oracle: for when you want to do crimes in style

Oracle: or youre just really kinky idk :\

Fox: That’s the problem, though. You can get any normal crowbar for relatively cheap, and if you’re using it for crimes the purpose is that you are trying to get away with it.

Fox: Even if you avoid getting fingerprints on it, if the police come to your door and search the house, the supreme crowbar is extremely flashy and very few people will have one. If you have a normal crowbar, however, other people are likely to have one and you’re more likely to get away.

Oracle: woah

Oracle: ok but how would they know a supreme crowbar was used instead of a new one?

Fox: Someone may have spotted the bright red crowbar and called the police, or the red paint chipped and they found red paint at the crime scene.

Fox: Either way a supreme crowbar is a waste of money and will just backfire.

Oracle: when did you become a crime expert?

Fox: When Madarame began plagiarizing and I was forced to keep quiet about it.

Fox: When I became an actual criminal.

Fox: When Akira pickpocketed an abusive mother in the middle of Inokashira Park, and later on changed her heart in Mementos.

Oracle: wait what was that last one please explain

Fox: We were at the park and there was a mother there with her son. She kept screaming at the child and grabbed him by the arm rather forcefully, so Akira stole her wallet. He now has her drivers license, social security number and all of the money she had on her.


Oracle: leader of the phantom thieves everybody

Oracle: stealing the hearts and wallets of the corrupt

Oracle: you should have stolen madarames wallet

Fox: In retrospect, I really should have.

Oracle: “hey thanks for mentally fucking me over fuck you sensei your wallet is mine”

Fox: If I had done that, maybe I wouldn’t be as broke as I am currently.

Oracle: smh should have taken the corrupt artists wallet

Joker: Hey guys what the fuck.

Oracle: sup akira ヾ(⌐■_■)ノ

Oracle: howd you learn to pickpocket

Joker: The life of crime truly requires a lot of skill.

Joker: Lock picking, pickpocketing, other things that have “pick” in the name apparently, looking like you belong in places you don’t, all that shit.

Fox: Of course you would know about that..

Joker: Shush you literally just critiqued the crime usage of a supreme crowbar.

Oracle: yo if you guys liked the supreme crowbar…

Oracle: meet the supreme brick >:3

Joker: I’m sorry the what now?

Oracle: brick-ayyyyy.jpg

Fox: Please don’t tell me that’s a real thing.

Oracle: it is (☞゚∀゚)☞

Joker: ...You’re serious?

Oracle: yep

Oracle: apparently rn they go for over 5 million yen

Joker: ...What the fuck.

Oracle: yep

Fox: I’m sorry but who the actual fuck would buy that. They have bricks just outside the building just like that, that you can have for free.

Oracle: GASP


Fox: Calm down. The two of you have said much worse.

Oracle: i have only ever heard inari swear once and it was a surreal experience

Joker: What.

Oracle: i thought i had astral projected into hell or smth it was so weird

Joker: Okay but he has a point.

Joker: Who the fuck would spend that much for a single brick.

Oracle: they used to be cheaper

Oracle: but then they sold out and became super ultra rare or smth

Oracle: so now theyre really pricey (✧ ͜ʖ✧)


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Supreme™ Bricks ~

Joker: You good Yusuke?


Fox: ...I don’t think I want to live on this planet anymore.


Oracle: inari

Oracle: chill

Oracle: thats so extra

Joker: Futaba, you forget. He is the definition of extra.

Oracle: you right

Joker: Fuck alright class is starting.

Oracle: cant you just ignore the lecture (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

Joker: Can’t. If I do he’ll throw chalk at me, insult me and then take my phone away.

Joker: I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to take any chances. I may be a delinquent and a criminal, but I’m not dumb enough to use my phone during Ushimaru’s class.

Oracle: ಠ_ಠ

Oracle: alright just you and me inari

Fox: Unfortunately I have to take my leave as well. Class starts in a moment.

Oracle: (ಠ╭╮ಠ)

Oracle: bitch i will hack your phone

Fox: Do whatever you want, Futaba.

Oracle: fine then ill change your ringtone to hentai moans and call you in the middle of class

Oracle: or better yet ;3c


Fox: If that’s what you so desire, then I can’t stop you.

Oracle: ugh fine

Oracle: bye


October 13th 2017

4:13 pm


Haru was late.

Akira couldn’t say he was too surprised, given how much was going on over on her end, but he still couldn’t help but find it slightly ironic that she was the one who was late, even though she had called this meeting. A really dark, irritating sense of irony, but still irony nonetheless.

With the exception of the loud, drawn out speech coming from Ann’s phone speakers, Leblanc’s attic was almost dead silent, like a thick blanket had been laid across them. Akira still couldn’t get the memory of Okumura’s face out of his head. That face… right before he died. The thick strands of crimson leaking from every orifice, the milky whites of his eyes behind lenses smudged with droplets of blood, the strings of veins straining his scleras. Every time Akira shut his own eyes, that image haunted him.

Not only that, but the noises Okumura had made, right as the mental shutdown was taking place. High pitched, suffocated whines; a last attempt to call for help while all the air was ripped away from him. Noises that only dying rats could ever attempt to impersonate. Noises that Akira didn’t think he could ever unhear, no matter how hard he tried.

Futaba sauntered into Leblanc’s attic, her hands clasped delicately behind her back. Not unlike a security camera, she turned her head right, and then left, to intake her surroundings. “Hm? Where’s Haru?” She asked. The only one brave enough to voice the question on everyone’s mind.

Ryuji sighed and crossed his arms in annoyance. “She’s the one who called up, so eventually she’ll show up.” He leaned leisurely against the wall, between Akira’s desk and futon.

Ann briefly looked up from her phone. “Well, even though things have calmed down for the moment, she must be… occupied, with what happened to her father.” A heavy weight of sadness hung from her words. She turned her attention back to her phone, before letting out a quick intake of breath. “Wait, what?!”

Futaba stammered. She took a few quick steps towards Ann, before deciding against it and backing up a bit. If Akira had to guess, he would say it had something to do with her anxiety. He couldn’t exactly blame her. Part of him wished he knew how to handle it better.

“Wh-what’s up?” She sputtered.

Ann gripped her phone with an intensity strong enough to snap someone’s neck. They were lucky she didn’t have access to her whip. “People are talking online, saying that we killed Okumura.”

Yusuke took his phone out of his pocket and began scrolling through it, most likely to check for himself. A stern look crossed his face. “So it’s begun already.”

Ryuji sent a glare in Yusuke’s direction. “What? What are you talking about? We didn’t kill him.”

“Think about it. The CEO collapsed the way he did, during a press conference that was caused by our group changing his heart.” Yusuke clicked his phone off in disgust.

Ann uncrossed her legs from where she sat in one of the upstairs chairs. She leaned over, propping her elbow against her thigh and her head against her fist. “They were raving about us so much, and now they treat us like murderers…” With every word, she sounded a little closer towards the verge of tears.

Futaba made a deep, throaty growl. “That’s a lightning fast change of attitude.”

Ryuji stepped forward. “They don’t know a damn thing about our current situation.” His hands were balled into fists at his side, as if preparing to deck someone square in the face. Punching someone wouldn’t help the situation, but Akira had to admit, at the given moment it would be nice to take out all his frustrations physically. Whether intimately or violently, it didn’t matter, just as long as it was all thrown out there. Maybe Ryuji had the right idea after all.

Makoto stood from the couch. “Calm down,” she reassured. Leave it to Makoto to attempt to act as the mediator. “Not everyone is necessarily saying that.”

“But there’s no way vindicate ourselves.” Yusuke replied coolly. Leave it to him to play devil’s advocate.

At that point, loud footsteps echoed throughout the attic, and in walked Haru.

Makoto was the first to react. “Haru.”

Haru nodded once at her. “I’m sorry I’m late,” For someone who had been flooded with all sorts of tasks and information for the past day or so, she spoke calmly and reassuringly. She spoke with the strength of a leader. “I’m the one who asked you all to make time for me, too.”

“My condolences. It must be rough.” Makoto approached Haru, a look all too familiar to Akira gleaming in her eye.

Haru took Makoto by the hands and gave her a quick squeeze. “I’m okay now,” She assured. “I called everyone together because there was something worrying me.” Haru took her hands away and spoke directly to the group, as if presenting a project or slideshow to a classroom. Her eyebrows knit together in a sudden seriousness. “Did you all target the principal?” For someone with such a soft voice, her words cut like knives. She sent a dagger straight through Akira’s heart with just the one sentence alone.

Everyone within the group jumped back. Even Yusuke, who was known to keep everything he was feeling to himself, couldn’t help but express some degree of shock.

“The principal? You mean… Principal Kobayakawa?” Ann faltered.

Haru nodded.

Morgana leapt from his place on Akira’s futon, right next to Akira, and padded over towards Haru. “What makes you say that?”

Haru sighed. She crossed her ankles over each other and averted her gaze before speaking. “Yesterday, a public prosecutor came to my home. Um… a woman named Niijima-san, I believe.”

Makoto made a noise like air being let out of a balloon. “That’s--”

Haru held up a hand to silence her. “I overheard her saying that a calling card was found in the principal’s office. Considering that this was right after it happened, it had to be Shujin’s principal.”

Akira mentally did a double take. They found a calling card in Principal Kobayakawa’s office? While they had been aware Kobayakawa suffered a mental shutdown, and it was obvious, at least to Akira, just how corrupt Principal No-Neck had been, he knew for a fact none of them had targeted him. Why was there a calling card there? Unless...

Ryuji sputtered in anger. “That’s the first I’ve heard of it!”

Makoto pressed a finger to her chin thoughtfully. “Doesn’t this all seem weird to you?” She hummed. “It may just be my imagination, but I feel as if things are escalating almost ‘too quickly’ after President Okumura’s incident. Far too quickly.”

“What do you mean?” Ryuji wondered.

“Perhaps we may have been set up by the real culprit.” Makoto hypothesized.

It took a moment for the news to settle over, followed shortly by a surprised “for real?” by Ryuji and a comment of “That could be..” from Futaba.

“If that’s the case, then we need to catch them as soon as possible.” Ann demanded.

She may have had a point, but Akira had to admit she was jumping the gun a bit on that one. They had no way of knowing who the culprit was, or just how to go about finding them. They didn’t know who they targeted or why, or who they were planning to target next.

Yusuke was the first to contradict Ann, and Makoto’s statements. “Hold a moment. Can we assume we’ve been set up, though? We don’t even know their objective.”

“What else are we supposed to do then?” Ryuji barked out.

“Okay, let’s all calm down for a moment,” Makoto interrupted. Good on her, getting involved before things got too out of hand. Lord knew Akira didn’t have it in him to do it himself. As much as he wished he could, he knew that that was the one ability he lacked in. “From what Haru said, even the police suspect that the Phantom Thieves are murderers. It wouldn’t be wise to carelessly make a move at the moment. As we said in the group chat the other night, we need to act as normal students for now. In addition, us Shujin students have midterms next week.”

Collectively half the group, Akira included, let out an exaggerated groan.

Ryuji hung his head low and scuffed at the hardwood floor with his sneaker. “For real? Exams at a time like this?” He sighed painfully. “I envy you, Futaba.”

Futaba visibly jumped, like a startled animal. “Hm? Uh, sorry. Got something on my mind. I’m gonna go home and look into it.” Before anyone could say anything, she whirled around and trotted down the stairs.

Makoto tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “I wonder what that could be.” She shook her head, before turning to address the group once more. “At any rate, we need to behave and avoid drawing attention to ourselves. Understood?”

The rest of the group let out collective sighs and agreements before dispersing, leaving Akira alone with only his thoughts.


October 13th 2017

4:39 pm


Yuuki Mishima → Akira Kurusu


YM: hey so i think there’s something you should see.

YM: the phan-site is getting a lot less supportive.

YM: numbers are dropping and a lot of comments against you guys are taking up the forums.

YM: but i know you guys didn’t kill okumura. you’ll show them the truth, right?


October 13th 2017

5:02 pm


Supreme™ Bricks


Joker: Well, according to Mishma, we’re drastically losing support from the phan-site…

Joker: Go figure…

Fox: Never could have figured that one out for ourselves.

Fox: It’s not like we have been checking the phan-site and that’s been where we’ve been getting media input and seeing just how people currently feel about us from there.

Skull: christ dude,,,

Skull: u rlly hate mishima huh

Fox: What gave you that impression.


Joker: Okay we can talk about that later, but you guys should know that some of these comments are getting really… “spiteful.”

Fox: Spiteful, how?

Joker: “Should have known from the beginning the Phantom Thieves were planning something shady.”

Joker: “Phantom Thieves are pieces of shit who should be thrown in jail.”

Joker: Stuff like...that.

Oracle: im seeing a lot of that too

Oracle: “pts need to rot for their crimes”

Oracle: “they betrayed us into believing theyre just but in reality we were just targets for them”

Oracle: “phantom thieves should die just like okumura did”

Joker: Yeah…

Queen: This isn’t good.

Panther: i just don’t understand

Joker: Okay, hypothetically let’s say we’re being framed, right? So either someone really hates us and Okumura was just a tool, someone really hated Okumura and wanted him dead, or both.

Joker: If I had to guess, I would say that someone wanted Okumura gone (that would make sense, given the ratings for him on the Phan-site before all of this happened), and wanted the Phantom Thieves to be made to look like they did it. Haru said they found a calling card in Principal No-neck’s office after he died, so judging by that, someone out there definitely wants us gone.

Fox: What exactly are their motives, though? What reasoning could they have for framing us, or using us as a scapegoat?

Joker: We can’t be too sure on that one, but there’s definitely people out there who want us arrested. Look at Akechi, for example. He’s been investigating us since Madarame.

Joker: Either way, we can’t be too sure of anything. I know that none of us killed Okumura, but someone would have had to. We’ll have to be extra cautious from now on.

Skull: gotcha

Queen: Understood.

Oracle: ok

Fox: Okay.

Panther: noted

Chapter Text

October 14th 2017

3:18 pm


Supreme™ Bricks



Skull: wtf is that

Oracle: just watch

Skull: oh

Skull: wat the hell

Oracle: pfft

Skull: i have,,,

Skull: a lot of questions

Oracle: >:3c

Skull: wher did u find that

Oracle: tumblr

Skull: oh

Skull: for real?

Oracle: ye

Skull: i was expectin u to say somethn weird tbh

Oracle: :\

Oracle: rude

Skull: aight but wtf did i just watch

Oracle: a masterpiece

Skull: wtf is with the anime tiddies in the back like,,

Oracle: milk

Skull: if u want to convey milk anime tiddies with rlly bad jiggle physics arent the way to go

Oracle: milk ;3

Skull: stop that

Joker: Hey guys what the fuck.

Oracle: scroll up and watch the video i sent

Joker: I don’t think I want to.

Skull: dont do it akira

Oracle: do it

Joker: I’m watching it, chill.

Joker: Woah.

Joker: What the fuck is that.

Skull: i warned u dude

Oracle: >:3

Joker: Hey Futaba?

Oracle: yea

Joker: Why do you feel the need to share this shit with us.

Joker: I would have much rather you spammed me with more gross hentai again.

Skull: wdym again

Joker: She spammed me gross hentai and froze my phone. It was not fun.

Joker: You know for someone who’s ace, you sure have a lot of porn Futaba.

Oracle: you never know when youre going to need it

Skull: wat does that even mean

Oracle: ;3

Joker: Okay but serious question what the fuck is that video.

Joker: Does she think she’s clever? She literally stole from several different songs, and that’s not how a fucking green screen works.

Joker: Why the hell is she trying to sexualize cows. That’s not sexy, it’s illegal.

Noir: Technically beastiality is not illegal in japan however it’s not recommended.

Skull: o hey haru

Joker: Haru you are just full of legality facts aren’t you.

Noir: Yes.

Joker: Hey, how are you holding up?

Noir: I’m fine. Things are still busy but at least i have some time to check the chat.

Oracle: haru did you watch the video i sent

Joker: Don’t do it, Haru.

Skull: haru seriously dont

Noir: I watched it.

Joker: Haru, no.

Oracle: what did you think ;3

Noir: Hmm…

Noir: I see what she was going for but it really just looks dumb. I’m sure she tried her best, and maybe with some more practice she could make something good.

Joker: How are you always so positive?

Skull: i have many questions bout that video

Skull: y tf did she have fries up her nose wtf

Skull: did she think that was attractive or smth

Joker: Also don’t you try to uhh

Joker: Avoid calling girls cows?

Oracle: yea

Oracle: dont call a girl a cow unless you want to get suplexed in the scrotum

Noir: I would avoid calling any girl a cow unless you have some sort of death wish!

Joker: Yeah so uh…

Joker: I mean I guess it’s okay to call yourself a cow but..

Skull: dude shes tryin to sexualize the term or smth

Joker: “Cow” isn’t sexy. Cows are not sexy. Cows are never going to be sexy and if you find them sexy please stay the hell away from me.

Joker: Cows are not sexy .

Oracle: ok you might be onto something there but consider

Oracle: this

Skull: wtf

Joker: Why is it so expensive what the hell.

Noir: That is truly a statement.

Fox: Futaba why do you feel the need to send the weirdest things to this chat.

Oracle: yo inari did you see the video i sent

Fox: I don’t think I want to.

Skull: dude dont do it

Joker: Yusuke, for the sake of your sanity, don’t click the link to that video.

Noir: I don’t think you’ll like that video much yusuke-kun.

Oracle: inari pls i sent that video specifically with you in mind

Fox: I’ll pass on watching it.

Oracle: inari

Oracle: inari watch it

Oracle: watch it or ill change your ringtone to fingers in his ass

Skull: im sorry to wat


Fox: Do not.

Oracle: watch the video

Fox: Fine.

Joker: Yusuke no.

Skull: rip yusuke

Noir: Oh my…

Joker: Are we going to need to find a new Fox?

Skull: prolly


Skull: he lives

Oracle: what did you think

Fox: That was awful.

Skull: warned u dude

Fox: I understand what she was attempting to go for with… that, but the aesthetics were complete garbage. I did better than that when I was two, and I could barely hold a crayon properly.

Fox: Who thought it to be a good idea to have her wear a two piece cow costume. It looks like utter garbage and is only being held together by two strings in attempt to make her look “sexy” or “desirable”. She doesn’t look sexy, she looks like an idiot.

Fox: Whoever directed this video clearly has zero knowledge of how green screens work. It looks completely fake, which while for the most part green screens look fake, usually there is at least some effort put into it. Were the directors brain dead or something?

Fox: Why is half of the video taken up by here sitting there and eating fast food? If she is using a cow as the main metaphor, then in eating ground beef that would just imply cannibalism, which is the complete opposite of what the vast majority of people find “desirable.”

Skull: unless ur into vore

Noir: Ryuji-kun…

Oracle: skdhfskdkf

Skull: someone had to say it

Fox: ...Which is why I said the vast majority. If you’re… into that, then there’s much bigger problems.

Oracle: did inari just kinkshame

Skull: damn dude

Joker: aslkhdskld

Fox: What lead her to decide to leave her hair down, with the exception of two small buns on the side to go with her horrendous cow outfit? Is it supposed to represent a cow’s horns? It just looks like someone stuck two tumors to the side of her head. Everything about her wardrobe choices are disgraceful and she should be ashamed.

Oracle: what did you think about her denim bikini thing

Fox: If that’s supposed to represent a farmer, she is in danger leaving so much of her skin exposed like that. It might be seen as “sexy” by some now, but the moment she approaches any animal she is in danger. Most farmers dress the way they do so that they can allow stains on their clothes while also being protected in case an animal bites/maims them in any way.

Joker: The most sexy thing you can do is be safe. Safety first, kids.

Skull: ^

Oracle: and the sparkly thong?

Fox: It looks like someone took an old children’s dress, ripped a piece of and attached two strands of thread to it. Not to mention, with how high up she’s wearing it, there’s a high chance of it getting caught on something.

Joker: Ow…

Noir: Oh dear. That wouldn’t be good.

Fox: Why would you ever send me something as disgusting as that.

Joker: Not going to lie, that rant is probably the gayest thing to ever happen in this chat.

Skull: yusuke u sound like a gay fashion designer tbh

Fox: Wrong. I’m a gay artist and the aesthetics in that video were horrid.

Skull: close enough ig

Oracle: in one word how would you describe that video

Fox: Atrocious.

Joker: Cursed.

Skull: why

Noir: Um…

Oracle: (☞゚ヮ゚)☞


October 15th 2017

9:17 pm


Supreme Bricks™


Queen: A reminder that exams start on the 17th. Please get in some study time beforehand.

Queen: With the exception of Yusuke and Futaba. I’m not quite sure when Kosei’s exams are.

Fox: They already happened.

Queen: How’d you do?

Fox: Not bad. I nearly failed math, but other than that I got decent enough scores.

Queen: If you’d like, I could try to help you out with math. It’s a difficult subject and not everyone is that good at it.

Fox: That would be appreciated. If it means anything, I’m not horrible at geometry. Everything else, though, is usually more difficult.

Panther: ugh exams are the last things we need right now

Skull: agreed

Queen: Unfortunately it’s unavoidable. I know, given everything that just happened, it will be harder to concentrate this time around but please try your best.

Noir: Good luck everyone!

Skull: thnks haru

Panther: thank you haru. good luck to you too!

Skull: imma just go eat cold macncheese then 1v1 futaba in overwatch

Noir: Why is the mac n cheese cold? Wouldn’t you want to heat it up first?

Skull:  i would except its in a tin foil take out container nd i cant put that shit in the microwave

Queen: Just transfer it to a microwave safe bowl, Ryuji.

Skull: i would but i dont wanna

Skull: ill just eat sad cold mac n cheese

Queen: Ryuji, your laziness confuses me sometimes.

Panther: heating it up would take all of 3 minutes but okay ryuji

Skull: listen i dont have that kinda time stop yellin at me

Noir: Ryuji wouldn’t you prefer warm mac n cheese? I find it best with cheese melting on top.

Queen: At this point, I’m just thankful that it’s cooked, presumably not in a microwave.

Skull: nah its leftover from when me n akira went to this pasta place

Skull: but i have cooked mac n cheese in a microwave befor

Queen: Of course you have.

Queen: Regardless, you should at least try to study a little bit before exams.

Skull: but i dont wanna

Queen: Ryuji.

Skull: makoto

Queen: Ryuji.

Skull: makoto

Panther: guys i think ryuji’s gonna die

Noir: Hmm you might be right ann-chan

Fox: Ryuji you are playing a very dangerous game.

Queen: Ryuji.

Skull: makoto

Panther: i can’t believe ryuji fucking died

Fox: I can.

Skull: wow :\ thanks yusuke

Queen: @Oracle Ryuji unfortunately can’t play you in Overwatch tonight, he recently learned he has to study :)

Panther: oh god

Noir: I sense a lot of danger in that smiley face mako-chan.

Queen: Oh trust me, there is danger in that smiley face.

Oracle: understandable i can do something else

Skull: futaba r u serious

Oracle: makoto is threatening af ryuji

Oracle: go be a good boy and study

Noir: That sounds fairly sexual, futaba-chan.

Oracle: :\

Oracle: alright no

Oracle: im kinkshaming

Skull: i never said i was into that

Oracle: doesnt matter still kinkshaming

Queen: Ryuji. Fucking study.

Oracle: she swear

Panther: she swear

Skull: she swear

Noir: She swear?


Queen: Grow up, you all have said far worse.

Queen: Except Haru, you’re doing great.

Panther: makoto that’s really gay

Skull: ann ur really gay

Panther: shit you got me there

Oracle: you know whos really gay

Panther: who

Oracle: inari

Fox: Futaba why do you feel the need to do that.

Oracle: (☞゚∀゚)☞

Oracle: just know

Oracle: whenever you think you have a private gay moment alone

Oracle: with our leader

Oracle: i

Oracle: am

Oracle: listening

Fox: Normally I would be vaguely threatened but honestly at this point I don’t even care.

Skull: dude r u serious

Skull: even im threatened nd im not the one involved

Oracle: dont worry ryuji im listening to you too

Skull: ew

Queen: Ryuji. Study.

Skull: yes queen

Panther: ha whipped

Skull: shut

Noir: Futaba-chan just how much information have you collected?

Oracle: oh

Oracle: a lot >;3

Noir: As it should be.

Noir: However, if i were you, i wouldn’t be announcing that i have dirt on them~

Oracle: oh?

Oracle: how would you do it wise one?

Noir: Hmm i’d say just collect information, make sure it’s kept in a safe place and that all the information collected on various people is organized, and then use it to your advantage when the time is right! ^^

Oracle: haru are you suggesting blackmail

Noir: I wouldn’t say i’m not suggesting blackmail.

Noir: Use that knowledge however you please~

Oracle: holy shit

Oracle: haru you are a saving grace

Panther: haru you are… honestly kind of terrifying

Haru: As it should be!~

Skull: damn the girls on this team r effin terrifying

Queen: Study,

Skull: hhhhhhhhhhh


October 16th 2017

2:42 am


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Hey.

YK: Hey.

AK: You’re still up?

YK: I couldn’t sleep. Although you’re one to talk.

AK: I couldn’t sleep either. School tomorrow is going to be hell.

YK: Yes, well, school was already hell.

AK: That’s fair. At least your classmates don’t think you’re actually satan reincarnated.

YK: That’s true, but the entire school knows me as “Madarame’s pupil.” You can see why I don’t appreciate that title much.

AK: Fair. Madarame was the worst.

YK: There are worse people out there but… Towards the end there, he was not the best person in the world.

AK: That’s putting it lightly. He’s up there with Asshole Squidward and No-Neck the Second.

AK: I mean makes sense given he was targeted in between Asshole Squidward and No-Neck Numero Dos.

YK: Asshole Squidward? No-neck?

AK: Kamoshida and Kaneshiro. I don’t have enough respect for them to use their actual names.

AK: Other nicknames for Kaneshiro include “Horsefly” “Kaneshit” and “Fat Hitler.”

YK: Clever. Have you given all of our targets nicknames?

AK: Yes. Madarame is Rejected Picasso Bullshit.

YK: It’s been awhile since you referred to him as that.

AK: I’m surprised you remembered I called him that before.

AK: Just for the record, Medjed is “Ghost with legs.”

YK: What? Why?

AK: After this thing:

AK: ghost-with-legs.jpg

AK: That thing is apparently called “Medjed” so it fits.

YK: Fair enough.

AK: Okumura is Papa Smurf.

YK: It works.

AK: Hey, can I call you?

YK: I suppose so. Any particular reason?

AK: I just need to hear your voice right now.


October 16th 2017

2:43 am


Yusuke picked up on the second ring. “Hello?”

An overwhelming rush of relief surged through Akira. He laid back on the musty futon and ran a hand through a tangle of black curls. “Hey.”

“What can I do for you, Akira?” A thin layer of exhaustion crept into Yusuke’s voice.

“I don’t know, I just needed to hear your voice,” Akira admitted. His heart pulsed dangerously where it sat in his chest, quickening slightly in pace. “Just keep talking to me. Doesn’t matter what it’s about. What are you doing right now?”

“I was attempting to paint, but I might have to scrap this one.” Yusuke’s tone was hollow, almost like broken glass. Perhaps he and Akira were in the same states of unkept right now. Over text, he had seemed fine, but one could never tell just what was happening physically over text. That was a major problem Akira had come to find.

Akira could only picture Yusuke right now; slightly disheveled blue hair, black roots definitely showing a bit, the buttons on the front of his white uniform shirt undone with the sleeves rolled up, revealing a black undershirt. Paint was probably everywhere. Soft flecks of paint probably covered bits of his skin, his arms and hands, maybe staining his pants a bit too. There was probably paint on his face, too. Perhaps a swipe of paint going across his forehead, from rubbing it with the back of his hand. He probably wasn’t aware of it, but would find it later. Akira wondered what colors he was using. Cool colors, maybe. Blues, purples, greys, whites. There could be a few streaks of color across the canvas, as well. Akira imagined it was mostly blank, with a few dark splashes of color here and there. Maybe somewhere there was a flash of red or a light blue.

“You sound exhausted.” Akira noted.

Yusuke made a noise of agreement. “I could say the same about you.”

“Yeah, well,” Akira sighed. “Anxiety tends to do that to a person. Just more emotional bullshit, right?”

“Is that why you called me?”

“Something like that.” Akira rolled over onto his side, careful not to disturb the sleeping form of Morgana curled up by the foot of his bed. “You know when you just can’t stop thinking? And like, you know you shouldn’t be thinking about that and that you’re going down a very dangerous path, but you still can’t stop thinking. And thinking about it hurts physically and mentally, and your chest is tight and you can hardly breathe, and it just feels like no matter what you can never do anything right?”

“And your head starts hurting, and your body can’t stop shaking, and somewhere inside you just want the world to stop spinning for just a moment. You just want everything to stop, but you don’t know what you want to stop. Maybe your mind, maybe just everything, but you just want it all to stop. You want everything to stop, and something inside is yelling at you for everything, and a sharp mental ache is just getting more and more intense with each passing moment. You know you have to stop thinking, but you physically cannot?” Yusuke commented. His voice cracked slightly.

“...Exactly like that.”

“Yes, I know what that’s like all too well,” He paused a moment. “I felt that every single day while living with Madarame.”

“Fuck, Yusuke, are you okay?” The words slipped from Akira’s mouth before he could stop them.

There was another brief pause, and something like a quick intake of breath. “Honestly?”

Akira nodded, before tacking on a soft “yes.”

“I’m not sure I even know what it means to be ‘okay.’” Light static echoed through the receiver.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Akira offered. “Sometimes talking makes it a little easier to deal with.”

“Not particularly, no.”

“That’s fine, too. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want. Just know, that no matter what happens, I’m right here. I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Akira promised. Something inside him began to softly chip away. Part of him wished he could only see Yusuke in person.

“I appreciate that. Thank you, Akira.”

Another beat of silence. It was almost deafening, really. Akira was the first to break it.

“So… about Okumura.” The words were bitter.

“It’s been nearly a week.”

“That it has.” It may have been a week, but Akira could still remember it like it was hardly an hour ago. “What do you think about all of… this.”

“We should have known something was wrong about it. Why would so many people want us to change his heart in the first place?” Yusuke hissed. “Then again, we didn’t exactly have a choice.”

“I can only imagine how Haru’s doing right now. She seems so strong and so optimistic, all the time. How does she do it? Surely it’s eating her up inside, right?” Akira bit his lip.

A noise, like that of something clattering to the ground sounded through the phone. Yusuke muttered something unintelligible under his breath.

“But, um, not just about Okumura. What happened that night. With us.” Akira managed to choke out. “You don’t regret it, do you?”

“No. The time spent with you is probably the only thing I can say with certain that I do not regret in the slightest.” Yusuke spoke with a calm confidence. Akira could feel his stomach tying itself into knots. “Why? Do you?”

“No. If I’m being honest here, I wish we had more time before it all went to hell.” Like a valve was opened, all the contents of Akira’s heart came flooding out. “I love being with you. You’re so unique and the way your eyes sparkle when you talk about something you’re passionate about makes my heart melt. Watching you work always leaves me feeling warm and fuzzy because you’re just so focused. Part of me wants to lean over and kiss you and see if you’d notice but the other part of me just wants to sit and watch. You’re so attractive, like damn when Ann said you were a pretty boy she was not wrong, and the way you’re able to stay calm in even the most dire of situations and just. Fuck. I don’t know. I’ve had strong feelings for you for a while, but I have no idea what the hell to do with them.”

Yusuke said nothing at first, as if letting all that information process. Finally, he responded. “You really think all of that?”

“Yeah. I do.”

Yusuke chuckled. “You know, I didn’t realize how right you were when you referred to it all as ‘emotional bullshit.’”


“I’m not quite sure I’m ready to spell it all out for you, but I think I know what you mean.”

“Wait. Are you rejecting me?” The knife in Akira’s gut twisted ever so slightly.

“No. Quite the opposite, in fact.”

“Are you saying that you...feel the same way?” His eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Yes. Something like that, anyway.”

“So… does this mean I can date you now?” Akira dug his nails into the palm of his hand in anticipation. “Or… you know. Will you go out with me?”

“I would love that.”

And just like that, the vine of thorns that had been curling around his heart since the very beginning, finally began to uncurl itself. It took every ounce of willpower to avoid screaming like a giddy school girl. “Fuck um. Okay. So guess your my boyfriend now?”

“Whatever you want me to be.”

“Cool uh. Boyfriend. Please.”

“Okay. Boyfriend, then.”

The call ended soon after. Akira placed his phone on his shelf and rolled onto his back, a smile painting his face. The muscles by his mouth ached slightly. He couldn’t remember the last time he smiled like that.

“It’s about time you nerds got together.”

Akira jumped. Morgana shot him a look of annoyance from the foot of the bed. “Your constant pining was starting to get annoying. ‘Yusuke’ this and ‘Yusuke’ that.” He crawled over to Akira and plopped down on his chest. “Can we go to sleep now?”

“Did I wake you?” Akira asked. He reached over and scratched Morgana under his chin. Morgana batted his hand away with a paw.

“I woke up when you pushed me away. Can we please go to sleep?”



October 17th 2017

4:56 pm


Supreme Bricks™


~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to depression nap 2: electric boogaloo ~

Skull: and so it begins..

Joker: I had my math exam today and can I just say… pemdas… please eat my damn ass sir…

Skull: dude wtf

Joker: No my brain is fried.

Panther: middle of the exam he just started giggling. i love you akira but never in my life have i wanted to backhand you harder.

Joker: Listen… pemdas. Please eat my damn ass sir.

Panther: you mean you at shadows?

Joker: No Ann, I want to eat the shadows’ asses.

Fox: Why would you ever want that some of those shadows are just disgusting.

Joker: :(

Oracle: yeah akira why would you want to eat their asses when you could just eat your boyfriends ass instead

Panther: !!!

Joker: Not a bad idea.

Fox: No.

Joker: Nevermind guess I’ll stick to shadows.


Fox: And suddenly I am once again single.

Joker: Wait no

Panther: “boyfriend” excuse??

Panther: when did this happen????

Joker: Uhhh like two gays ago at like three in the morning.

Joker: *days

Joker: Actually you know what gays works too.

Queen: While this is endearing and all, you are aware you have more exams tomorrow, right?

Joker: Fuck.

Panther: fuck

Skull: fuc

Oracle: have fun suffering

Joker: Thanks gremlin sister love you too

Oracle: :)

Panther: sister?

Joker: Listen she’s basically a little sister to me in every way except by blood.

Oracle: tfw somehow you get a boyfriend and sister over the course of two days

Joker: You were my sister the moment you dragged me to Akihabara with you.

Oracle: you right you right

Queen: Again, we have more exams tomorrow. Please try to make time tonight to study.

Oracle: akira just went “please eat my damn ass sir” in a really sad voice and honestly thats a mood

Skull: kinkshaming

Joker: Rude.

Fox: That is the longest sentence you have ever typed, Futaba.

Oracle: :\

Oracle: shut it inari

Chapter Text

October 19th 2017

10:03 pm


depression nap 2: electric boogaloo


Oracle: this chat has been dead for days where are you guys

Joker: Dying. It’s exam season remember.

Oracle: :\

Oracle: im bored

Joker: Hi bored I’m dead.

Oracle: oh my god

Oracle: nevermind youre dead to me

Oracle: friendship ended with akira

Oracle: inari is my new best friend

Joker: Wow rude.

Oracle: no but for real though uh theres something weird going on with the phan site

Joker: Wait what?

Oracle: yeah

Oracle: im looking into it rn but this might take some time

Joker: What’s wrong with the phan site?

Oracle: not sure yet

Joker: Should I ask Mishima about it?

Oracle: no

Oracle: he wouldnt know anything about it

Oracle: its strange though

Joker: Strange how?

Oracle: someone was doing something with the code

Oracle: someone who wasnt mishima

Oracle: yeah i have to look into this more

Oracle: if i find anything ill let the group know

Joker: How do you know it wasn’t Mishima?

Oracle: hh cant explain it now

Oracle: i need to look into this right now

Joker: Futaba? What’s going on?

Joker: Futaba?

Joker: Dammit she’s gone.

Panther: are you serious? something weird is happening now?

Joker: Apparently..

Panther: but...exams…

Panther: the timing has never been worse

Joker: That’s just our luck.

Joker: Gotta love the bullshit that comes with this :))

Joker: No use complaining about it I guess.

Panther: at least give us time for a nap in between

Joker: I want to see the pretty art boy I miss him.

Panther: calm down you’ll see him soon

Panther: i haven’t seen shiho in almost three weeks… i’ve been so caught up in thief stuff

Joker: Hey how is Shiho anyway? I didn’t have a lot of time to get to know her at Shujin and haven’t seen her since before she moved.

Panther: yeah, not since the rooftop with her. she was thankful for your support there

Joker: Anything for you guys. You’re my friend and she clearly means a lot to you.

Panther: to answer your question, she’s doing good. her new school is treating her well, she’s been smiling and laughing a lot more lately, she seems much happier i guess

Panther: she’s recovered nicely since… that. she still has a slight limp and will probably always have it, but she’s staying positive and just doing her best.

Joker: Wow. She’s a role model.

Panther: isn’t she? she’s so strong and somehow she’s always so optimistic. i envy her.

Joker: We should get some advice from her sometime. Could use a bit of optimism.

Panther: i don’t know how she does it. she’s amazing isn’t she?

Joker: She really is. Next time you see her, tell her I said hi?

Panther: will do. hopefully i get to see her soon.

Panther: but what’s up with the phan site? futaba seemed pretty intense there

Joker: No idea but it sounds serious. She’s looking into it right now and will tell is if/when she finds something.

Joker: She might be a gremlin sometimes, but she’s dedicated. If anything is wrong, she’ll let us know asap.

Panther: i know. i trust her.

Joker: In other news, how were exams?

Panther: ugh

Joker: Yeah..

Panther: i know makoto said to stay focused and everything but i couldn’t

Panther: this one was a tough one for me

Joker: Same here. I think I did okay but it’s not my best work.

Panther: ryuji looked like death afterwards. i’ve never seen him so torn apart

Joker: Can’t say I blame him.

Panther: i’m gonna go pass out. i’m exhausted.

Joker: ‘Night Ann.

Panther: night


October 20th 2017

12:00 am


depression nap 2: electric boogaloo


Oracle: hideout

Oracle: after school

Oracle: tomorrow

Oracle: i found something


October 20th 2017

4:04 pm


“Congratulations on surviving midterms.”

Futaba stood in the center of Leblanc’s attic with her hands clasped delicately behind her back. The other thieves sat around the table, eagerly awaiting to hear what she had discovered. Something about the phan-site had At least since the voting feature had been added. Since then, it had been removed from the site. In retrospect, allowing a feature like that had been a terrible idea and part of her just wished she could have realized that sooner. While they couldn’t change the past, perhaps they could at least try to correct it in the future.

Ryuji stretched, his back cracking in the process. “I think I’m screwed for real this time. I couldn’t concentrate at all…”

Ann nodded and let out a soft groan. “Yeah… I tried really hard but it was so hard to focus.” She leaned forward in her seat to look at Ryuji, practically leaning across Akira.

Akira lightly pressed two fingers to her shoulder and pushed her back. “More importantly, what is this you wanted to discuss, Futaba?”

Leave it to Akira to steer them back on topic, Futaba supposed. She had never seen him quite so serious yet eagar. For someone who showed very few emotions, he managed to get his mood across pretty well. She didn’t completely understand it.

Haru nodded. She crossed one leg over the other and looked up at Futaba with innocent, doe like eyes. “You said something was on your mind before. Were you able to figure out what it is?”

Futaba was almost able to buy that Haru was innocent. Almost. She had seen Haru with an axe in her hand and quite frankly, it was terrifying. For someone so seemingly soft, Haru was ruthless. Then again, it seemed all of them had some sort of facade or, for lack of a better term, “persona” they put on when in the Metaverse. Joker, especially. Futaba considered Joker and Akira to be two very different people, even if they were the same person. Joker was sadistic, cruel and lacked hesitation. He was fierce. Silent, but deadly. He was a force to be reckoned with. Akira, on the other hand, lead with a firm but guiding hand. He was playful at times, but when it was time to be serious he was serious. For the most part, Futaba could hardly register that they were different people. Of course, every facade had its cracks, and sometimes bits of Joker would show up in reality, or Akira in the Metaverse. Those moments were surreal.

“The Medjed that I banned… wasn’t the real one.” Futaba lightly scuffed at the wooden floor with the toe of her boot.

Various expressions of confusion crossed everyone's faces. Ryuji was the first to verbally express his confusion. “Aren’t you the real one, though?”


Right. Futaba had been the original creator of Medjed. Perhaps that specific choice of words had been poor on her decision. Words were difficult, sometimes. If the scenario was a dating sim, she would have just picked the wrong option.

“Uhh…” She muttered to herself. “The guy who called himself Medjed after me isn’t the one from the other day.” Not the most graceful response, but it got the point across. “The code written by that guy from back then was different then the code of any of the past Medjed.”

Ryuji raised an eyebrow. “And that means…?”

Futaba made a few vague hand gestures. “A code is like your fingerprints. No matter how you try to disguise it, your own quirks appear in it. Every code is always just a little different, and each programmer has their own way of coding things. The one from the other day was all… cut and pasted with no consistency. No skill at all.”

Makoto spoke softly but executively from where she sat next to Ann. If it weren’t for Akira’s leadership and Morgana’s input, Futaba would have thought Makoto was the one in charge. She managed to keep things in line, most of the time. “But aren’t multiple people all across the world part of Medjed? Could it have been done by someone who joined recently?”

Futaba shook her head. Makoto, while she made a valid point, was very wrong in that sense. She didn’t completely understand how it all worked. She had her own strengths and weaknesses, Futaba presumed.

“How do I put it… That code was not done by anyone interested in cracking. At all. At the very least, there’s no way they’re an official part of Medjed.”

“So someone used the Medjed name to provoke the Phantom Thieves?” Yusuke questioned. “For what purpose?”

Inari was… interesting. Originally Futaba hadn’t gotten along with him too well. They were different people with very different interests. Well, at least that’s what she had thought. While they had different interests, they were a little more similar than she had suspected. She couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but something about him reminded her a bit of herself. Right after Akira, she probably felt most comfortable around him. Maybe it had something to do with how much Akira trusted him, or maybe it was just the fact that during times of crisis he managed to keep a level head. Back at Destinyland, when she had been in the midst of a panic attack, she had found herself clutching his side. Something about him just made her feel safe. He was strange, yes, but Futaba didn’t mind it. Not that she would ever admit to that out loud.

Ann twirled the end of one of her pigtails. “Could they have been doing it for fun?” She asked with a shrug “It was around the time our group started getting popular, so maybe they just wanted in on the hype.”

Makoto straightened her spine. “Wait a moment.” Something had apparently clicked. “What if it’s the other way around?” When the room went dead silent, she apparently took that as her cue to continue. “What if they used the Medjed name to make the Phantom Thieves more known.”

“What? That makes no sense.” Ryuji squawked.

So it seemed Makoto was on the same page as Futaba. Makoto caught on fast.

“I actually thought the same as Makoto,” Futaba said with a slight smirk. “Know how I just said that code is like fingerprints? I found those same fingerprints somewhere completely different.”

“Where’s that?” Yusuke asked.

Futaba waited a moment, to give it special effect, before stating “The Phantom Aficionado Website,” She began pacing a bit, recollecting all the pieces of data she had collected the other night. Something was visibly wrong, and after a couple long hours she had somehow pieced it together. “There were traces of it being illegally tampered with from the outside. Before summer vacation, the access counter was made to be much higher than the actual number. Same with the rankings. Particularly the time when President Okumura ranked first.”

Haru considered this a moment. “So then… the one who provoked the group is the same person as the one who tampered with the site?”

Makoto pressed her fist under her chin thoughtfully. “Both Medjed’s provocation and the tampering of the website brought attention to us as a result. On top of that, our reason for targeting Okumura was influenced by the public and the rankings. The perfect timing, and the perfect target. If both of those had been set up…”

“...It would all make sense.” Yusuke finished.

Ann tapped her fingers against the top of the table. “Wait, so the culprit was planning to put the blame on us from the start? No way…”

Makoto held a hand up in reassurance. “This is all hypothetical. We lack any hard evidence.”

Morgana sat up from where he had been resting on Akira’s futon. “But if all your deductions happen to be correct, that would mean we’ve been playing right into their hands for the past two months or so.”

“We gotta be overthinkin’ things, right?” Ryuji sounded almost desperate. “I mean, we’re talkin’ both the rankings and Medjed. Everyone made a big deal about it. If this was all set up then…” He rubbed the back of his neck, a pained look on his face. “Just what kinda guy did we make an enemy of?”

The anxiety had clearly washed over everyone, just as it had Futaba when she discovered the correlation between Medjed and the rankings. Who was behind it all, and why? It made no sense, but at the same time, it made too much sense.

“There’s no point getting anxious over speculation. Regardless, we’ll be falsely charged with murder at this rate. We have to overcome this.” Yusuke spoke steadily.

Haru bit her bottom lip softly. “But we don’t even know who we’re up against.”

Ryuji crossed his leg over his knee and tugged awkwardly at the sleeve of his uniform jacket. “Hey, you think we’re fallin’ into another trap?” Panic coated his every word.

Akira placed a hand on his shoulder in reassurance. “Ryuji, calm down. We can’t be certain yet, but there’s no way they could be that far ahead of us.”

Futaba made a nervous finger gun at him. “Right. The guy who tampered with the site is clearly an amateur at best, so there’s no way he could have known we would have figured it out this quickly.”

Morgana flicked his tail. “Yeah. This doesn’t mean that we’ve lost yet.”

Makoto tucked a strand of dark hair behind her ear. “Even if this is the actions of a meticulous enemy, we’ll just have to get back at them. We need to find clues, no matter what.”


October 21st 2017

7:20 am


depression nap 2: electric boogaloo


Noir: So i was thinking about our metaverse costumes. They seem nice and are rather adorable, but in practicality some of them seem a little dangerous.

Panther: tell me about it.

Panther: my tail gets caught in every door, i have tripped over it several times, and i’m expected to fight in heels

Panther: it sucks

Noir: At the very least you look amazing while fighting!

Panther: that’s just because i’ve had a lot of practice. the castle was very long and there were a lot of stairs, so all i could really do was power through

Panther: although what’s not fun is getting your tail stuck in literally every single door. i’m sure yusuke knows exactly how i feel

Panther: @fox does your tail get caught in everything too?

Fox: Yes.

Fox: Futaba also makes it a habit to randomly grab my tail at times.

Oracle: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oracle: i would say im sorry but im really not

Oracle: your tail is really fluffy

Fox: A little warning would be nice.

Oracle: nah

Panther: god this one time in kaneshiro’s palace i was the last one to leave a safe room and the door closed on my tail. i got yanked back really hard and fell flat on my ass.

Noir: That sounds painful! Are you okay ann-chan?

Panther: i’m fine now but at the time it hurt a lot.

Panther: i also fell right where the tail connects to my body suit and that in itself is not fun

Oracle: damn i wish i could have seen that

Panther: what’s worse is ryuji and akira just laughed at me

Panther: makoto was nice enough to help me up and yusuke opened the door for me, but those two assholes just sat back and laughed

Skull: in my defense all we heard was a loud yell n when we looked back u were just on the floor with ur tail in a door

Joker: I’m not sorry.

Panther: you’re both assholes

Skull: let’s not forget the time joker effin faceplanted into the floor while tryin to do a backflip

Noir: Really? Joker always seems so graceful and light on his feet.

Joker: Yeah that kinda happens when you’ve been doing gymnastics your entire life.

Oracle: you do gymnastics? (⚆ _ ⚆)

Joker: Yeah. For years I took classes but eventually that stopped. Afterwards I just kept practicing. Didn’t think I’d ever really need it, other than to show off occasionally.

Panther: are you kidding all you do is show off. there is literally no reason to backflip onto a shadow’s shoulders and rip the mask off but you do that anyways.

Joker: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Panther: you’re so extra you know that

Joker: Mayhaps.

Skull: dude dont do that

Joker: Mayhaps.

Skull: ur dead to me

Oracle: when did akira faceplant and why didnt i see this

Skull: p sure it happened in ur palace futaba

Skull: he also rolled of one of the tables in the saferoom for the sake of a joke

Joker: That was great.

Oracle: ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

Oracle: did my shadow at least see it?

Skull: maybe?

Joker: Mayhaps.

Skull: u stop that

Fox: Akira, didn’t you break your nose after falling face-first into the ground?

Joker: ...Maybe

Skull: pfft

Panther: ok thats actually kinda funny

Joker: Shut up it hurt.

Panther: so didn’t falling flat on my ass what’s your point

Oracle: cant believe your own boyf outed you akira

Joker: Trust me, I was outed a long time ago.

Panther: that’s gay

Joker: You’re gay.

Panther: you got me there.

Skull: sigh

Noir: That sounds like it hurt, akira-kun. Some of these metaverse outfits are dangerous.

Skull: u want stories about our outfits screwing us stories? we got a ton of stories.

Joker: There was the time Queen’s scarf got caught in the wheel of Johanna, the time a shadow decided to grab Skull’s abscot and he nearly choked, Fox’s tail in general, the time Panther tripped over her tail while going down a set of stairs…

Noir: Oh my. That’s pretty dangerous.

Panther: there’s the time skull’s belts got caught on one of the random branch things they have in mementos sometimes, the time the tails of joker’s coat got stuck in the safe room door when entering a safe room, the sheer amount of times a shadow has tried to play with fox’s tail…

Panther: you know what just tails in general.

Fox: They might be aesthetically pleasing but in practice they just get in the way.

Panther: i’ll have to disagree with the aesthetics part but they do get in the way a lot

Oracle: wow cant believe inari is really a furry

Fox: I’m ignoring that comment.

Oracle: i got lucky with my costume heheh >:3

Joker: Maybe so but that doesn’t change the fact that you always hit the gargoyle on top of Necronomicon against low ceilings and it scares you every single time.

Oracle: shut up it echoes inside necronomicon and is really startling

Noir: Aww, i’m sorry futaba-chan. That sounds awful.

Noir: I’ve lost my hat a couple of times but other than that, everything has been okay for me.

Joker: Haru you truly are the lucky one of all of us.

Noir: I’m not quite sure about that one. My belt has almost gotten caught a few times and a shadow tried to steal my hat at one point. I’m sure it would have looked just adorable on him, but that is my hat and would much rather he have asked to try it on.






Panther: “rememebre”

Skull: sssshut

Joker: It’s not bully Akira hours let’s not do this.

Oracle: yo inari thats your man

Fox: I’m aware.

Fox: Not his most graceful moment, I will admit. I still don’t understand how he managed to get the ends of his coat over his head in the first place.

Joker: Shh

Joker: You know you love me <3

Fox: I’m not sure if “love” is the word I would use.

Joker: Wow okay rude.

Panther: oh right it’s “lust” right akira?

Joker: Ann you’re my friend and all but shut the fuck up.

Panther: no u

Joker: Well shit.

Skull: uhhh wats goin on here?

Joker: Don’t worry about it.

Queen: All of you should put your phones down and get to class. Need I remind the Shujin students that there are police officers positioned around the school and we are all going to be sent in for questioning today. On top of that, the school festival is soon and students are voting on who they’d like as a guest speaker. As student council president it’s my job to count the ballots, and I will need all of your help. Keep your head down, try to raise as little suspicion as possible and don’t say anything unnecessary. Understood?

Noir: Of course. Sorry mako-chan.

Skull: yes queen

Joker: Yes Queen.

Panther: yes queen

Oracle: woah you guys are being questioned by the cops?

Queen: Yes. Unfortunately the Phantom Thief incidents tie back to Shujin, given who the first target was, and after what happened with Okumura, well..

Oracle: oh shit good luck

Queen: Thank you, Futaba.


October 22nd 2017

3:40 pm


Ryuji Sakamoto → Yusuke Kitagawa


RS: hey man i kno this is kinda a weird question but ive been wonderin bout it for a bit

YK: Okay. Is something the matter?

RS: no?

RS: im not gonna judge u or anythin just so u kno

RS: we all have our fair share of kinks ig so its not like u r the only one into weird shit

YK: What are you talking about?

RS: its uh

RS: bout that thing i saw u drawin in ur sketchbook the other day

YK: You’re going to ask something weird, aren’t you?

YK: You’ll have to be more specific. Which sketch are you referring to?

RS: it looked like a lizard in a dress or smth

RS: is that ur scalesona?

RS: dude r u a scaley?

RS: i kno weve been makin jokes since the beginning cuz of the tail n everythin but r u actually a furry?

YK: No, I’m not a scaley or a furry. I was drawing that because Futaba asked me to draw a velociraptor in a dress for some reason. She offered a reasonable amount of money, and I’m currently broke.

RS: ok

RS: so its not a weird kink?

YK: No.

RS: alright but wat about pregnant freddy fazbear? u were drawin that in mementos a little while ago nd… i still have yet to unsee that

YK: That was also a commission.

RS: so u dont have a pregnancy kink

YK: No.

RS: or an animatronic kink?

YK: No.

RS: its not a weird sex thing?

YK: Not a fetish.

YK: You are aware I’m asexual, correct?

RS: u are?

YK: I believe so? It’s complicated.

RS: hows it complicated?

RS: isnt it like u either do or dont feel aroused?

YK: It’s not that simple. Yes, asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction but there’s different types. I’m not entirely sure where I lie.

RS: i got u

RS: idrk about all this stuff but it dont sound to easy to deal with

RS: just kno that it dont matter too much and ur sexuality/identity doesnt strictly define u

YK: Right. Thank you.

RS: nd ig sometimes things change nd it can take a while to figure urself out

YK: That’s true, I suppose. Thank you.

RS: ok but just for clarifiction one more time

RS: u dont have a weird lizard/crossdressing/pregnant/animatronic/furry kink?

YK: Absolutelt not.

YK: *absolutely

RS: absolutelt

YK: It was a typo.

RS: absolutelt

YK: I made a mistake.

RS: absolutelt

YK: This is harassment.


October 22nd 2017

3:46 pm


depression nap 2: electric boogaloo


Skull: absolutelt

Fox: Shut up.

Skull: absolutelt

Fox: Stop that.

Skull: absolutelt

Fox: Why are you doing this to me.

Oracle: is it bully inari hours :3c

Fox: No stop.

Skull: mayhaps

Fox: I thought you were against “mayhaps.”

Skull: it only feels right rn

Oracle: absolutelt??

Skull: yusuke made a typo nd now u kno we gotta harass him for it

Oracle: pics or it didnt happen

Skull: cryptid.img

Oracle: holy shit

~ Oracle has changed the name of the chat to absolutelt ~

Fox: Wow okay. I see how it is.

Joker: Wait what’s going on?

Skull: scroll up


Joker: Absolutelt

Fox: I trusted you.

Joker: I’m sorry I had to.

Fox: Suddenly I don’t know who you are.

Joker: Single, again.

Joker: It’s been like a week but okay.

Oracle: was it worth it

Joker: Yeah.

Skull: absolutlt

Skull: wait shit

Oracle: did you really just make a typo of a typo

Skull: no

Fox: Yes.

Skull: this is cyberbullying

~ Oracle has changed the name of the chat to absolutlt~

Joker: Futaba god dammit.

~ Joker has demoted Oracle ~

Oracle: >:(

Joker: Absolutlt

Fox: Absolutlt

Oracle: absolutlt

Skull: no stop

Queen: Akira and Ryuji, put your phones down and come help. We have a job to do, and I believe I made it very clear that the two of you were to help Ann and myself count ballots for the school festival.

Joker: Sorry Makoto..

Skull: sorry makoto

Queen: Put your phones down right now, grab some ballots and keep counting.

Chapter Text

October 23rd 2017

4:29 pm




Queen: So… as it turns out, the student body at Shujin really wants Akechi as a guest speaker.

Oracle: uhh what

Oracle: what are you talking about

Queen: Right, you don’t go to Shujin.

Queen: Essentially, for the school festival every year, the school has a guest speaker for a panel. The students get to vote on the guest speaker.

Queen: The school festival is approaching soon, and the majority of the votes were for Goro Akechi.

Oracle: the students at shujin have shit taste

Queen: Yes, well, he is a celebrity and as far as the media knows, the Phantom Thieves are killers. As the media seems to influence the opinions of people, it seems that the vast majority believe that Akechi was right about the Phantom Thieves all along and want to hear what he has to say.

Queen: I managed to get ahold of Akechi’s contact information from Sis and he said he would consider doing the panel.

Oracle: shujin has shit taste

Queen: I can’t argue with you there.

Joker: Are you serious.

Joker: Fuck.

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Fuck Akechi ~

Oracle: fuck akechi

Joker: Fuck Akechi.

Queen: Sigh.


October 24th 2017

12:00 am


Futaba Sakura → Yusuke Kitagawa


FS: yo inari

FS: if/when you become a famous artist im going to leak the picture of mpreg freddy fazbear you drew

YK: Why would you do that.

FS: itd be funny

FS: hey check out what famous artist yusuke kitagawa drew for me when he was 16 #blessed #inarisafurry

YK: I have no words.

FS: have fun trying to tell the internet youre not a furry

YK: I already have to try to explain to the Phantom Thieves on a daily basis that I’m not a furry.

FS: furry

YK: No.

FS: furry

YK: Stop.

FS: could probably sell it on ebay for a shit ton of money

YK: Whatever you choose to do with that drawing is on you.

FS: some collector out there is going to pay a shit ton of money

FS: for fan art of mpreg freddy fazbear

FS: do you regret drawing it yet

YK: I regretted it the moment my pencil touched the paper.

YK: Ryuji still thinks it’s a kink.

FS: asdkfgje

FS: im surprised you even know what mpreg is

YK: Futaba I go to a high class school with a bunch of entitled rich kids given access to pens. Unfortunately I have seen plenty of “cursed” images in just the past month alone.

FS: owo

FS: like what

YK: ohgodwhy.img

YK: The other day one of my classmates decided to send that to me.

FS: is that pokemon growth

YK: Yes.

YK: Rich, entitled artists who are given access to a various supply of pens.

YK: Someone did not think that idea through.

FS: whats the most cursed thing youve ever drawn

YK: You mean aside from your requests?

FS: yea

YK: I was requested to draw an extremely detailed sonic the hedgehog. I think I still have that drawing.

FS: holy shit inari send

YK: Let me find it first. It would be in one of my old sketchbooks.

YK: mistake.img

FS: why is he so buff im,,

YK: I have many regrets. That is one of them.

FS: damn sonic has some big dick energy right there

YK: I don’t know what that means and I don’t wish to know.

FS: :\ lame


October 24th 2017

7:22 am


Fuck Akechi


Noir: Good morning everyone!

Noir: I know this is sudden but i was doing a bit of thinking..

Noir: With the school festival coming up i was wondering if, perhaps we could go together? It could be fun and i’d like to try to make up for what happened at destinyland.

Noir: And… with akechi possibly being the guest speaker, it seems important that we’re all present to see what he has to say.

Queen: Good morning, Haru.

Queen: I talked to Akechi before bed last night and he said he would accept our invitation as guest speaker. You’re right, he might have some information that we will want to hear. It would be best if all of us were there for the panel, however the panel is not until the 26th. In two days.

Noir: Yes. I know it’s sudden but maybe tomorrow we could all just… i don’t know… pretend to be normal kids. Just wander around the school, play some games, eat festival food. I want to make it up somehow, and that sounds like it could be fun,

Queen: Haru, you don’t have to make up anything to us. What happened at Destinyland was not in our control, and I’m sorry it ended the way it did.

Queen: But you do have a point. Hanging out at the festival, that sounds like fun. Given everything that’s happened, we could use a bit of fun in our lives. I’m available tomorrow and would love to attend the festival with you.

Oracle: i was looking up gay reaction images for this but gay porn is the first thing to come up my virgin eyes didnt consent to this

Joker: Kid you have more porn than the rest of us combined you aren’t innocent.

Queen: Can you two please stop talking about porn right now it is seven in the morning.

Joker: Whoops hand slipped.

Oracle: i just wanted some nice gay reaction images smh didnt ask for DICKS IN MY FACE

Queen: Futaba please.

Noir: Oh! Futaba-chan, akira-kun, are you available tomorrow?

Joker: Oh yeah. Sure thing, Haru, that sounds great. That’s a good idea. We could use a bit of a stress reliever.

Noir: My thoughts exactly.

Oracle: o yea that sounds lit

Joker: I’m sorry but who the fuck raised you we do not use that kind of language here.

Oracle: lit

Joker: You stop that.

Oracle: sghdjkl.img

Joker: talk-shit-get-hit.png

Queen: It is… seven am why are you two like this.

Joker: I will not have any of that filthy language in my Phantom Thieves, Makoto.

Oracle: i havent slept in three days what did you expect

Noir: Futaba-chan, you should really get some sleep soon. That’s not good for you.

Oracle: ill sleep as soon as the fox fucker finishes my velociraptor pictures smh

Joker: Excuse you.

Oracle: sorry i mean leader fucker

Joker: Uh okay wow that was Rude and uncalled for.

Oracle: akira.gif

Joker: Wow okay.

Joker: Fucking @ me next time.

Panther: why is my phone exploding and why was i not told we’re bullying akira

Oracle: whoops sorry ann my b

Panther: hold on scrolling up real quick

Panther: the school festival? that sounds great! i love that idea haru! count me in!

Noir: Splendid! I hope everyone else can attend as well?

Joker: I’ll let them know. We should all, hopefully, be free.

Oracle: ooo is it bully akira hours >:3

Joker: No shut up.

Panther: it’s always bully akira hours

Joker: I am your leader.

Panther: akira.gif

Joker: That is rude and uncalled for.

Oracle: akira.gif

Panther: akira.gif

Joker: Why are you accusing me of being a bottom I am a Good Christian Boy.

Oracle: inari might be a weirdo but he has Big Top Energy

Oracle: also i have access to your search history i know what youre into

Joker: That’s just invasive.

Oracle: you are a bottom and everyone knows it stop trying to deny it

Joker: I will admit to nothing.


Joker: No.

Panther: i hate this conversation but am also kind of curious??

Oracle: ann? Big Top Energy

Panther: sadfgh

Oracle: well kinda

Oracle: not exactly Big Top Energy but theres some Top Energy

Panther: i have nothing to say to that

Joker: Ann? A top? That’s funny

Panther: akira.gif

Joker: I am not a bottom stop this.

Oracle: sounds fake but ok

Queen: It is seven in the morning. You three need to stop.

Oracle: nah

Queen: Futaba, you need to sleep.

Oracle: but i dont wanna

Queen: Please try to get at least some sleep before the school festival.

Oracle: >:(

Oracle: fine

Noir: Sleep well, futaba-chan!

Oracle: you are a ray of sunshine how in the hell

Oracle: (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

Oracle: ^ actually haru

Joker: Confirmed.


October 25th 2017

4:19 pm


At least everyone was having fun.

Makoto internally sighed and lightly fingered the ends of the pink and white table cloth set out in front of the group.

So far, the school festival seemed more successful than it had in past years. Given all that had happened, she supposed it made sense. Kamoshida, Principal Kobayakawa’s “suicide”, rumors regarding the Phantom Thieves, the police showing up to individually interview the students… On top of that, Goro Akechi had agreed to act as the guest speaker and he had been gaining popularity like crazy since the fall of the Phantom Thieves.

Perhaps she was just a bit paranoid. They were there to have fun and try to relax for once. Makoto couldn’t remember the last time she was able to properly relax.

Ryuji sat back in his seat, his foot rested on his knee. He lightly nudged Akira in the shoulder, who was “subtly” holding Yusuke’s hand underneath the table. If Makoto was honest, it was about time those two finally got together. She had noticed Akira’s pining almost right away. Yusuke was a bit harder to read, but he had dropped hints about how he felt. Whether he was aware he was doing so or not, she couldn’t quite tell. From what she knew of Yusuke, Makoto could only assume that he didn’t completely know. Not only was he an incredible artist, but he was nearly impossible to read sometimes.


“You know, maybe Akechi only agreed to show up ‘cause he believes we didn’t kill anybody?” Ryuji mumbled. His eyebrows raised slightly, almost in hope.

“Or he simply loves large gatherings.” Yusuke tacked on. He rolled his eyes, and Makoto had to put a hand over her mouth to keep from giggling a bit. One thing could be said for sure about Yusuke: he had a clear dislike for Goro Akechi.

It was safe to say the vast majority of the Phantom Thieves had some form of dislike for Akechi, but seeing Yusuke so openly expressing his disgust was a little funny.

Ann pointed a finger in Yusuke’s general direction. “True. He did seem to love being pampered by the media.”

Morgana’s tail flicked from the inside of Akira’s bag. He peeked his head out and pressed his paws against the table. “We plan on stealing intel, but we might fall into another trap.”

Akira groaned and rested his head on Yusuke’s shoulder. “Is the takoyaki done yet?” He asked, lazily. Had he even been listening to the conversation?

Yusuke pushed Akira’s head away, and Akira whined. “We don’t know what Akechi is planning yet.” Yusuke added.

At that moment, a timer rang loudly from somewhere in the classroom. A student in a maid dress sauntered over, holding a cardboard container of what looked to be normal takoyaki, and set it on the table in front of the group.

Well, almost normal. With the exception of the one glowing bright red.

So that’s what they meant by “russian” takoyaki…

“Russian,” as in russian roulette.

Could it even be considered russian roulette if you knew which shot would cause the bullet to fire? Or, in this case, what the “special” takoyaki ball was?

“One of them is bright red.” Morgana noted with disdain. Weren’t cats usually color blind? Strange.

Ann made a face of concern, like she had witnessed someone shove an entire ball of wasabi in their mouth. “Would going for the obvious one be ‘manly’ or something?” She looked over at Ryuji.

“Aren’t you all going to eat? I think I’ll try going for the ‘special’ one.” Haru noted sweetly. Makoto put a hand over her heart and noticed how it quickened in pace. That was peculiar, but lately she had noticed her body reacting in weird ways around Haru. Not that she would admit it out loud, but she had an idea as to why.

“You are honestly going to do it?” Makoto gasped. She shifted her body in her chair and turned to face Haru. A bolt of worry shot up Makoto’s spine.

Ryuji beamed, a large shit eating grin from across the table. “Do you wanna go for the red one, Makoto?”

She moved her hands up in surrender. “I’ll pass on that one.” Just the look of it was toxic. She couldn’t even imagine ingesting that thing.

Eventually, the majority of the takoyaki were consumed, leaving just the red one in the box. Makoto looked around, scanning all of the faces of her friends.

Haru seemed interested. She had suggested being the one to eat it earlier. It seemed if no one else were to take it, she would do it without a doubt. Whether it be out of sheer curiosity or excitement, Makoto couldn’t tell. Something about Haru had everything inside Makoto all out of commission. Given everything that had happened, it seemed Haru was the one to cloud the majority of Makoto’s thoughts.

Akira poked at it with a toothpick. “Think it’ll be spicy?”

“It’s glowing red, dude. You tell me.” Ryuji responded cooly. “You gonna be the one to try it?”

The leader studied it. “...I’ll do it.” He stuck the toothpick into it, and Makoto had to stop herself from gagging.

Leave it to Joker, she thought. It only made sense that, in the end, he would be the one to eat it.

“Oh, everyone’s all here.”

A familiar but cool voice echoed throughout the room. Akechi’s voice.

Makoto’s skin crawled. Phantom Thieves aside, something about him was deeply unsettling. She couldn’t exactly pinpoint what, and given his sickly sweet exterior she wasn’t sure anyone else could pick up on it, but something felt wrong.

Akechi approached the table, one hand in his jacket pocket and an almost realistic smile on his face.

“The panel isn’t until tomorrow, though.” Makoto stammered.

Akechi shrugged. “I came to check out the venue. I can’t make any mistakes, since a lot of people will be present.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Makoto noticed Akira shoot Yusuke a satisfied smirk. Maybe Yusuke had been on the right track when he said that Akechi had only come for the large crowds…

“But, people ended up recognizing me. Everyone bombarded me with questions.” Akechi ran a gloved hand through silky strands of ashen hair. “I grew tired of the baseless rumors and managed to escape to where there weren’t any people.”

Akira rested his head in his hands. “That sounds exhausting,” With his other hand, he gestured to the takoyaki. It must have internally pained him to have to let go of Yusuke. “We were just finishing up here. Do you want the last one? It’s takoyaki.”

Futaba made a noise from where she sat in the corner, something like a snort or a laugh. Haru gasped and muttered “the ‘special’ one” under her breath.

Part of Makoto told her she should step in and stop whatever was happening before it happened. She knew Akira, and she had a feeling she knew where he was going with this. At the same time, the other part of Makoto was intrigued to see where this would lead. The interested part of her managed to win her over. Maybe they deserved to have a little bit of “fun” before the panel.

Akechi thanked Akira and popped the takoyaki into his mouth.

Ann opened her mouth to protest but Ryuji held up a hand to silence her, hissing out a quick “it’s fine.”

Several things happened all at once.

At least three expressions, some of which Makoto couldn’t quite recognized crossed Akechi’s face. Futaba had out her phone and was snickering under her breath while also attempting to get a subtle snapchat video of the detective.

Akechi coughed once. Noticeable tears pricked at the corners of his eyes and his face was stained red. He attempted to cover it all up with a smile.

“Are you okay? Do you need water?” Ann sputtered.

Akechi waved her off, his breathing heavier. “I-I’m fine. I just, uh, spicy -- spicy stuff…” He attempted to play it off with a friendly laugh that just came out more pained. His body shook in a way that would have been concerning in any other situation. “Well then, I’ll, uh, I’ll see you t-tomorrow.”

He turned on his heel and took off, most likely to find some water or something.

Laughter, mostly from Ryuji and Futaba, echoed across the table.

“Futaba, please send that to me.” Ryuji gestured to her and she nodded.

Fun was fun, and as hilarious as it may have been to watch Goro Akechi almost break down due to spicy takoyaki, Makoto knew something was very wrong. “Just checking out the venue,” huh? Something was very wrong.

The others were having fun. Deep down, they all knew that something was about to happen. A major bomb was about to be dropped, it was only a matter of when.

Well, at least everyone was having fun.


October 25th 2017

6:37 pm


Fuck Akechi



Oracle: fuckyou.img

Oracle: spicypieceofshit.img

Oracle: heres the shit from the festival

Oracle: get fucked akechi

Joker: You’re a blessing small gremlin child.

Oracle: i know :3

Joker: You are the most cursed being I have ever come across, but sometimes I am thankful for your existence. Fucking superb you funky little demon.

Oracle: (☞ຈل͜ຈ)☞

Skull: new phone background right there

Oracle: same

Joker: Hmm, tempting.

Joker: You see I would but my background is currently perfect.

Oracle: its just a picture of you and inari :\

Joker: Exactly.

Panther: you guys know he could have been hurt, right?

Panther: yeah i don’t like akechi much but we can’t kill him.

Oracle: :\

Oracle: alright but cant believe the twink fucking choked on a spicy ball today

Panther: don’t phrase it like that!!

Joker: asdcfghjkhggf

Skull: pffft

Joker: You’re right and you should say it.

Oracle: wait you know whos a twink

Panther: who?

Oracle: inari


Joker: I mean…

Joker: thotbgone.jpg

Skull: i hate that no

Oracle: but hes the kind of twink that hits like a bara

Panther: futaba oh my god

Skull: NO




~ Joker has removed Oracle from the chat~

Joker: I take back everything I said. The evil is defeated.

Panther: defending yusuke’s honor?

Joker: Yes.

Panther: that’s gay

Joker: You’re gay

Panther: got me there

Skull: sigh

~ Futaba Sakura has joined the chat~

~ Futaba Sakura has changed their name to Oracle ~

Oracle: itll take more than that to get rid of me joker >:3

Joker: Unfortunately I’m aware.

Oracle: you removed me before i could finish what i was saying coward

Joker: Choose your words wisely Futaba :)

Oracle: youre about as threatening as a kitten but ok

Oracle: ryuji is a bara that can hit like a twink

Skull: dude no


Joker: I..

Joker: I mean…

Skull: akira dont

Joker: She’s probably right

Skull: ur dead to me


Skull: y tf do u find this so effin funny ann


Oracle: of course im right who do you take me for

Skull: ann ur dead to me too

Oracle: what about me >:3c

Skull: uve been dead to me since u accused me of hitting like a twink

Oracle: >;3c

Oracle: ryuji youre a bottom

Skull: WTF

Oracle: ( ͡°( ͡° ͜ʖ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)ʖ ͡°) ͡°)

Panther: i’m,,,

Joker: Holy shit

Skull: all 3 of u r dead to me yusuke is now the only friend i need

Oracle: akira.gif

Panther: akira.gif

Joker: akira.gif



Joker: It downloaded like that and my phone won’t let me rename it.

Oracle: so are you confirming youre a bottom

Joker: No I didn’t say that shut up

Panther: why did you download that gif anyway

Joker: I thought I would need it one day. That day is today. We are calling Ryuji a bottom.

Skull: hey lets not do that

Oracle: hey lets do that ;3c

Skull: effin gremlin

Oracle: (☞゚∀゚)☞


October 26th 2017

2:06 am


Fuck Akechi


Skull: so i might have done a thing

Skull: makoto mighta been onto somethin

Fox: Why tell us? It’s two in the morning.

Skull: because i kno at least 2 of u fucks r gonna be online this late

Skull: i see 1 wheres the gremlin

Oracle: you called? :3

Skull: yup there she is

Oracle: ryuji what did you do OwO

Skull: 1 dont use that face

Oracle: OwO

Skull: 2 i kinda maybe burned pasta

Oracle: how the hell

Skull: in the microwave

Fox: Ryuji, how did you manage that?

Oracle: oh my god

Fox: Ryuji…

Skull: and it melted the bowl

Oracle: how

Skull: i forgot to add water


Fox: That is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard of you doing.

Skull: yea yeah shut

Oracle: how the hell did you forget one of the only two ingredients needed

Skull: look its 2am nd im sleepy aight

Skull: i just wanted some pasta then i was gonna sleep but ig life doesnt want me to have pasta

Skull: the smoke alarm went off nd it woke up my mom uh

Skull: shes disappointed in me

Oracle: :|

Oracle: dont disappoint momma sakamoto


Skull: look i try not to it was an accident


Oracle: i think you broke inari

Skull: u good yusuke?


Fox: With all due respect, you’re a dumbass.

Oracle: pfft way to call him out

Skull: ok ow

Skull: aight im tryin again

Oracle: are you serious

Skull: im still hungry nd still want pasta

Fox: Perhaps you should cook it over the stove?

Skull: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Oracle: dont forget water

Skull: i got water this time its fine


October 26th 2017

4:15 pm


“Well then, we will now begin today’s panel.”

The sea of students in the surrounding seats in front of the stage was overwhelming, to say the least. Certainly, more students had shown up to the panel than last year. It made sense, given the current events, but that didn’t stop the dread pooling in the pit of Makoto’s stomach.

Well, it seemed, it was finally time. Knowing Futaba and Haru were somewhere in the crowd made her feel a bit better, but not by much. They were all listening in, one way or another.

“Our guest of honor is Goro Akechi.” Makoto spoke his name into her microphone, and all at once the audience began applauding Akechi. She fought off the urge to glare at him.

Akechi chuckled and removed his own microphone from the podium he stood in front of. “I feel kind of bad, considering how many people have gathered. I’m sure you all would have been happier to see a singer or an idol of some sort, wouldn’t you say?”

The audience laughed. Makoto carried on.

“We’d appreciate it if you could tell us about your experiences with the notorious Phantom Thieves,” The words were bitter on her tongue. “It’d be wonderful if you could give us more information about your actual investigative process.” The other thieves were all relying on her to try to squeeze some sort of information out of him. At this point, it would only make sense that he suspected something, or perhaps someone… He had claimed the Phantom Thieves weren’t murderers, however he was also quick to state that they were dangerous. She scuffed at the stage with the toe of her shoe. “As much as you’re allowed to say, of course. Would you tell us how far along your investigation is on them?”

“Getting right to the point, I see. If it’s as much as I’m allowed to say, then everything I’ve said on TV and the internet is all of it,” Akechi made a vague signal with his hand. “We don’t have any leads yet, and their methods are still unknown.” Something glinted in his crimson red eyes. Something threatening. Sinister, even. Just what did he know?

Makoto nodded. “I see. Even with this country’s power, arresting them is proving to be difficult. Is that the case?”

The corner of Akechi’s mouth tugged into a satisfied smirk. “I wouldn’t phrase it that way, but, well, there’s... something like that.” The answer was vague, and purposely so. That, in itself, raised more questions.

Makoto crossed her ankles. “It seems you’ve denied correlation to the Phantom Thieves and the murders. Why the sudden change? Until now, haven’t you upheld your stance that the Phantom Thieves are dangerous?” Her eyebrows knit together. “How are you so positive that they haven’t committed murder?”

Akechi shook his head. “Aren’t you a little too comfortable interrogating people? It’s as if though you’re a prosecutor.” His words held no malice, but the both of them knew exactly what he was referring to.

“Excuse me. This is something I’ve been personally interested in, so I couldn’t help it. Won’t you tell us? What reason is there that you’d suddenly claim their innocence when you previously stated they were unjust?”

He scanned her briefly, most likely attempting to read her body language, then shook his head once more. “Every person whose heart they changed have truly been criminals, including Okumura. Why then, was he the only one who needed to be killed?” He pressed a gloved hand to his chin thoughtfully. “I must admit, I couldn’t deduce a possible reasoning. It goes against their previous patterns. That’s why I believe that case should be thought of as if a different party is responsible. If, and this is all hypothetical mind you, if the Phantom Thieves are the ones I know of, I can’t possibly imagine they would kill someone.”

The Phantom Thieves he knew of?

What did that mean? Makoto’s nerves buzzed with anxiety. She managed to stammer out a coherent, yet slightly panicked statement. “Your comment just now, does this mean the police have successfully identified who the Phantom Thieves really are?”

“Oh, no. The police haven’t gotten that far, but I have my own conclusions about their true identities.” He looked Makoto dead in the eyes, and with a slightly cocky edge to his voice, said “You’re not going to ask me who they are?” Almost as if daring her to ask.

“It may have repercussions on the investigation. Are you sure you can share that with us?” She wasn’t going to back down. Not now.

He knew. Plain and simple, he knew their identities. At this point, he was just teasing them. Makoto was well aware he was playing with his food before eating it. It was sadistic, but powerful. It got across his point in a way only her and the other Phantom Thieves could comprehend.

“It’s only my personal opinion, so announcing that here wouldn’t pose a problem. However, there is a possibility everyone present will hear the truth before the police or media.”

“That’s quite the confidence you have. If you’re so certain, then very well.” Her voice was as hard as ice. “I’d like to ask you, then. Who do you think the Phantom Thieves are, Akechi-san?”

That devious, Joker-like smirk came crawling back to his face. He almost played the role of Joker better than Joker himself. “They’re someone you all know quite well. The identity of the Phantom Thieves are --”

At that moment, Akechi’s phone rang. He set the microphone down, back into its stand, and drew his cellphone out from his pocket. “I apologize for the interruption, but I can’t turn off my phone due to my job. Would you mind if I step away for about ten minutes or so?”

Of course. Makoto forced an apologetic smile onto her face and turned to address the audience. “I’m terribly sorry, everyone, but we’ll be taking a break. We’ll resume the panel in ten minutes.”

Makoto set her microphone down, just as Akechi approached her.

“Is there a room I may use?” He asked from behind her. Something about his voice sent shivers up her spine.

“There’s the PE Faculty office.”

Akechi walked behind her before stopping. “...I want you to come, too. There’s a matter I want to discuss. Your friends from yesterday are here, aren’t they? Can you bring them too?”

All at once, it hit her.

“Did you set this up?” Makoto hissed. Something was wrong. She knew something had been very wrong.

He smirked. “We only have ten minutes, you know.”

Makoto mentally cursed herself. She should have known. Something had been very wrong, and yet she didn’t act.

Something was wrong.

Akechi, it seemed, had discovered the identity of the Phantom Thieves.

Chapter Text

October 26th 2017

4:32 pm


For someone who had almost died via spicy takoyaki the day before, Akira could wholeheartedly say that Goro Akechi was one of the most intimidating people he had ever met. Friendly, yes. However, at the same time, he could be excruciatingly threatening when he wanted to be, all masked behind a warm smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes, almost as if he knew something the others did not. Well, obviously he did, otherwise he wouldn’t have called out the Phantom Thieves. A bold move on Akechi’s part, Akira had to admit. It definitely got his point across, and was only able to really signal to the Phantom Thieves, like some secret code. During the few conversations Akira had had with Akechi, he had been, for lack of a better term, kind to Akira. Something about that piercing stare, though, sent ice crawling down Akira’s back. That stare, with those flaming irises.

Makoto had a permanent scowl on her face, that had been resting there since the panel was cut off. “What do you want to talk about?” It came out as a throaty growl.

Akechi fished something out of his coat and pressed them to the table. Akira stepped forward and examined it. Photographs? Of what..?

Of… Oh.

Pictures of the Phantom Thieves disappearing were portrayed across a series of five photographs. They must have been taken while they were entering the Metaverse. That, in itself, raised a lot of questions.

Haru gasped. “No…” Her voice shook with defeat and shock.

“T-that’s gotta be photoshopped.” Ryuji sputtered. The fact that he was tripping over words gave everything away, though. Ryuji might have been impressive in a fight, but he was a terrible liar.

A daunting smirk played at the corner of Akechi’s mouth. “I have video footage too.” He replied coolly.

Cocky bastard. Akira thought. Then again, the same thing could be said about him.

“Please, let’s not feign ignorance. All of you can go into that other world too, yes?” Akechi’s gaze could have bored a hole into Akira’s soul if Akira had one.

Other world? So Akechi knew about the Metaverse too. It made sense, especially given their introduction to each other, but Akira couldn’t help but do a double take on the statement.

Akira set his jaw and put on his best poker face. He prided himself on that, given all the bullshit he’d been put through. “‘Other world?’ You care to elaborate on that?”

“Wouldn’t you know about it more than me?” Akechi offered. While the statement was said as a question, it came off as more of a mocking fact. He continued on, most likely getting lost in the sound of his own voice and deductions. “I also know that when you traverse over there, your appearance changes as well. It’s because of those mysterious powers, isn’t it?”


Akechi, it seemed, has a persona as well. Who’d have thought that Mister Detective Prince had a rebellious spirit inside him all along?

He fished his phone out of his jacket pocket. “I found out about that world around a month ago. This had been installed onto my phone without my knowledge.” Akechi turned his phone screen to face the Phantom Thieves. In the midst of all his other apps sat the Metanav.

“When the app activated on its own, the scenery around me suddenly changed. Quite frankly, I still can’t believe it myself.” Akechi went on. This guy really loved hearing himself talk, didn’t he? “From the look of these photos, you all seem quite used to it.”

Ryuji snarled. “We’ve been listenin’ to you blab on for a while now, so cut the delusional --”

Akechi cut him off. “All of you are acting as Phantom Thieves in the Metaverse.” Once again, not a question but a fact. “I can say so with conviction because I have the same power as you.”

Akira elected to say nothing. Akechi had them backed into a corner; denying it would only make the situation worse. Saying nothing was all the confirmation Akechi needed, anyways. Perhaps Akechi would take it as shame or something, but in all actuality it was more that Akira didn’t care enough to verbally confirm it. All the proof was there, anyways.

Akechi seemed to catch on. “I’ll take your silence as confirmation.”

If Akira remembered correctly, Makoto had said something along those lines when she had figured them out as Phantom Thieves. Ryuji, too, when asking about Akira’s type in Hawaii.

Akechi pressed a gloved finger to his chin thoughtfully. “In all honesty, I’ve been curious about you since the time of the Madarame case, but to think it would end up like this...”

Without thinking, Akira casted a glance towards Yusuke. Yusuke had no identifiable reaction, except maybe annoyance from this entire situation. Not that anyone could really blame him.

Haru balled her hands into fists. She stepped forward. “We didn’t kill anyone.” She insisted.

“I believe that as well.” Akechi moved his hand away from his face and instead pressed his arms by his side.

“How can you be so sure?” Makoto inquired.

“Because I saw another: the real culprit.”

It took a moment for Akechi’s words to fully set in. There was no denying the wave of consternation that washed over everyone.

Ann was the first to react. She stamped her foot against the ground and stepped forward. “Well? Who was it?”

Akechi pressed a hand to his head, out of disappointment or exhaustion, Akira couldn’t tell. “I couldn’t identify his face. He had a mask on, after all. Actually, when I took these photos,” With his other hand, he vaguely gestured to the photographs on the table. “I entered ‘that world,’ too. That’s when I saw someone else moving about. Someone unlike the rest of you. He shot at me the moment he noticed me.”

Yusuke crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow in skepticism. “That’s who killed President Okumura?” It never failed to amaze Akira just how calm Yusuke remained in troublesome situations. Admittedly, the Phantom Thieves got wrapped up in more troublesome situations than they probably should have.

Akechi nodded, moving his hand away from his head. “Most likely. At the very least, I was almost killed by him.”

Morgana peeked out from behind a stack of boxes on the table, right by the photos. “Akechi has a persona too?” He asked. It was the first thing he had said since being called to the PE Faculty lounge.

Akechi jolted up and whirled around to look at Morgana. “This cat… it talked?”

Akira couldn’t help the somewhat satisfied smirk. Part of him was tempted to tell Akechi that no, Morgana was only his pet cat and that the detective was hallucinating. At the very least, it would have been entertaining. Judging by the venomous glare Makoto was shooting him, as if she already knew what he was thinking, doing so would have been a bad idea. Makoto’s look was clear, and read only one thing:

Don’t even think about it.

Akira may have been an asshole. He did stupid things sometimes, sure, like asking shadows if he could eat their ass as a joke or t-pose Mishima into a corner, but he wasn’t crazy enough to act against Makoto. She was one of the most hardcore and threatening people Akira had ever met. If Akechi was intimidating, Makoto was straight up terrifying.

Ann beat Akira to the punch. “Morgana,” She explained. “He’s our teammate who taught us about the Metaverse.”

“Really?” Akechi stifled a dry, self assuring chuckle. “This is unbelievable. Say, Morgana,” He turned to the cat on the table. “Were you the one who instructed them on how to change people’s hearts? I’ve experienced that world, too, and I have yet to solve that mystery.”

Morgana hopped up onto the box on the table. He puffed out his chest out of pride. Or, well, as much as one could in the body of a cat. It was honestly adorable in a funny way. Had the situation been different, Akira probably would have pet Morgana, only to ultimately have his hand bit by the human kin cat. Morgana, as obnoxious as he could be sometimes, was hands down the most adorable of the Phantom Thieves.

“We go into the Metaverse to what we call Palaces, to steal the core of their desires: their Treasure,” Morgana explained. His tail swished back and forth. “Those whose Treasure has been stolen then undergo a change of heart.”

Akechi nodded. “I see… Well, there’s certainly no way someone could figure out such an MO.”

“MO? What’s that?” Ryuji stage whispered, if one could even call it a whisper.

“MO. It stands for ‘modus operandi.’ It basically means the way someone goes about doing something.” Akira explained. He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose, just for added effect. Maybe he was a little extra. Just maybe.

Ryuji considered this a moment before shaking his head. “Anyways. Back to what you were talkin’ about, Mister Detective,” His words were sharp and venomous, like the fangs of a King Cobra Snake. “Are we in this mess ‘cause of that guy?!”

‘That guy.’ Meaning… President Okumura.

“All you do is reform people. I may not completely understand your method, but someone else is behind the murders,” Akechi theorized. His eyebrows knit together and all his focus appeared to be on the true perpetrator of the murders. Akira recognized that look. That same, acute, razor-like look he got whenever considering the possibilities and narrowing his options. “However, the police seem to be thoroughly convinced the Phantom Thieves did it. A bit reckless, if you ask me, but they’ve made up their minds. At this rate, they’ll have you all arrested.” Something else, something vaguely familiar to Joker teased behind Akechi’s words. A warm shiver crawled up Akira’s spine.

Haru gasped. “T-they’re going to treat me as my father’s murderer?” Distress radiated off of her. Distress that none of them had ever seen before. At least, not from Haru.

“If the police have their way, yes. I can’t look over such a grave mistake, which is precisely why I want to strike a deal. I may be able to save you from this situation.”

Of course. It clicked, just where Akechi was going with this. After all, Akira was extremely familiar with this position. Lord only knew just how many times he had said the words “I want to strike a deal.” He was fairly certain he had said those exact words to each of the Phantom Thieves at one point or another.

“Okay,” Akira crossed his arms. “What are your conditions?”

It was all a game, really. You set out your proposal and waited for the other party to take the bait. The question was, did Akechi know how to play?

“I would like you to cooperate with me on investigating  the truth.” Akechi spoke slowly.

“And if we decline?” Yusuke suggested.

Smugness painted every inch of Akechi’s face. “Then I think I’ll have to inform the police about all of you, along that video I mentioned.”

Any stance Akira had above Akechi was kicked out from under him.

Well, Akira decided. Akechi was apparently very good at this game. Almost too good. Perhaps Akira had finally found a worthy opponent. Who would come out with the crown, Akira wondered. If he played his cards right…

“This ain’t no deal, it’s blackmail!” Ryuji cried.

Akechi waved him off with a hand. “Call it whatever you want. This is the method I believe to be correct. The justice I uphold will not tolerate criminals who kill people at their leisure,” Something sinister lingered behind Akechi’s piercing gaze. He turned to Akira. “You’ve heard that Sae-san is the one leading the Phantom Thief investigation, correct? The higher ups are concerned only with settling the case. They want to capture the culprits behind the mental shutdowns and psychotic breakdown incidents to end the commotion. Those are the ones putting pressure on Sae-san. You can imagine her impatience. It seems that they’re going to try to pin it on the Phantom Thieves.”

Yusuke sighed and ran a hand through his bangs. His frustrations were beginning to peek through a bit. Knowing him, it was most likely due to the passing time spent with Akechi as well as the information being provided. “What evidence do they have that we did it? How do they intend on proving it?”

“Even if there’s no objective explanation to the method, it’s over once causality is established,” Akechi clarified. “Sae-san can’t make rational judgements at the moment. If she were to be cornered, well, she might even make up a confession.”

Makoto visibly tensed. “Make it up…? Where are you going with this?”

“You’ll be found guilty if you’re caught. It will be treated as a very serious crime. Unfortunately, there’s nothing I can do alone to stop the flow of things.”

“And that’s why you want our cooperation?” Makoto concluded.

Akechi nodded once more. “Yes. In return, I’ll turn a blind eye to what you’ve done. Those are my conditions. That said, after this I ask that you disband the Phantom Thieves.” It didn’t have to be stated that if they didn’t, Akechi would turn them in. The implication already hung heavy in the air. “What do you say?”

Akira considered this. The proposal was risky. There had to be an ulterior motive somewhere, right? But where? Either way, if they went through and nothing went wrong, everything the Phantom Thieves had worked so hard for would be shut down. Did they have another choice, though? If they didn’t accept, Akechi would turn them in. If they didn’t accept, somehow they’d be pinned for murder, as well as the psychotic breakdowns. Either way, it seemed Akechi would be the only clear winner here.


Akira knew this game like the back of his hand. Akechi was trying to corner him. However, there was always a way around that. Akira would just need to climb up. It would be tricky and require a lot of thought, but it was possible. It had to be.

“You’re demanding quite a lot, don’t you think? I don’t suppose these terms are at all negotiable?” When trapped, try to talk your way out of it. That’s what Akira had learned, being a Phantom Thief. If his silver tongue couldn’t get them out of trouble, the next best option would be to stab them with his knife or shoot them in the face. He briefly considered that as an option.

“Unfortunately, no. This is my only offer. Take it or leave it.”

Akechi was showing him his hand, another bold move. Typically, that could be considered a distraction or a brag. Where was the ace up his sleeve? Akira would just have to out-play him.

“I’ll consider your offer,” Akira decided. He needed more time to think. “We need some more time to think on it.”

Akechi shrugged effortlessly. “That’s fine. You don’t have to decide at the moment,” He snatched the pictures off the table and shove them back into his coat. “I trust you’ll make the right choice. About that…. I’m sorry. Niijima-san, would it be acceptable if we ended the panel here? The reason you called for me in the first place was for intel, correct? You got what you wanted. My business is concluded as well.”

“I’ll deal with it somehow.” Makoto stated.

Akechi offered a polite, but somewhat unsettling smile before walking towards the door. Without saying another word he left the room.


October 26th 2017

4:43 pm


“Hey, Joker…”

The other thieves had left the room, leaving only Akira and Morgana.

Morgana looked up at Akira with an intensity that only he could muster. “So you noticed it too, huh?”

Akira nodded. “He’s lying.”

“It was our conversation about pancakes, way back at the TV station. Remember?” Morgana sat down. “He couldn’t have reacted the way he did back there had he not heard me.”

“He was lying to us,” Akira concluded. “Had he said nothing to us at the TV station, we never would have known. His poker face is incredible.”

Fatal mistake, Akechi. One small miscalculation.

Akira would just have to play along, act like he didn’t notice. Perhaps Akechi wasn’t the only one hiding his cards up his sleeves.

Game over.


October 26th 2017

7:12 pm


The school festival was okay. It was loud and crowded, and a bit overwhelming. On the bright side, Futaba had flooded Akira’s dms with pictures and videos of Akechi basically dying from the other day, and that was something to laugh at. He was almost tempted to change the background on his phone to that. Almost. Then that would mean removing the picture of himself and Yusuke from Hawaii, and honestly it just wasn’t worth it.

Yusuke had left about half an hour ago, leaving Akira stuck at the “after party” or whatever it was with Makoto and Haru.

Not that he had a problem with Makoto and Haru. It was quite the opposite, really.

Makoto was brilliant. She managed to keep everyone on the right path, was quick to pick up on signals or important information, stayed on task and in general she was just an amazing addition to the team. She was incredible in every way. Akira truly valued her as both a teammate, and a friend.

Haru, on the other hand, was incredible in her own way. She was as sweet as candy and somehow always remained optimistic. Akira believed everyone on the team was strong in their own way, but Haru was perhaps one of the strongest, physically and mentally. Somehow she was always composed, even given everything that had happened. She was always so unbelievably positive. In the Metaverse, however, she could only be described as ruthless. She may have been an amateur, but she was terrifying when given an axe. Her attacks were clean and sadistic; carefully planned around the enemy’s weak point. For someone so physically soft, Haru was absolutely brutal in combat.

The festival MC, some kid in the newspaper club Akira thought, talked loudly into a microphone up on stage. Or maybe he was on the debate team? Did Shujin even have a debate team? Makoto tucked a strand of hair behind one ear. “My apologies for being distracted. I can’t stop thinking about what Akechi-kun said earlier.” She sighed sadly.

Haru placed her hand comfortingly in Makoto’s arm, causing Makoto to turn about twenty shades of pink. “It’s okay, Mako-chan. We’re all thinking about it.”

God, their pining was going to be the death of Akira. Was this what Makoto and the others had to experience? If he had known waiting for two people to get together would have been this awkward, Akira would have asked out Yusuke a long time ago. Or maybe Yusuke asked him out? It didn’t matter. Fuck the emotional bullshit, right? Who needed feelings?

“I know, but, are we really no match for him?” Makoto asked. She bit her lip and gazed at the ground, her eyes glossy. Haru wrapped her arm around Makoto and rubbed comforting circles onto her back.

Akira had to resist the urge to tell them that they were actually one step ahead. Obviously they needed time to figure out what to do in this situation, but Akira just knew that they had a chance. A skilled player needed to plan out their moves, right? It was way too early to slip his own cards into the pile. He needed to be patient.

Instead, Akira shoved his hands into his pockets. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about it for now though, okay?”

Makoto sighed somberly. “Right. My apologies.” She lifted her head up and raised an eyebrow at Akira. “Where’s your artist?”

Akira shrugged. “He had to leave. Something about train fares, I think.”

“You miss him already, don’t you?”

“Makoto I always miss him. You underestimate my emotional capacity.”

“Don’t you only have like three emotions?”

“Yes. Those emotions are love for Yusuke, longing because I miss Yusuke and that strange thrill you get when knocking down enemies in the Metaverse.”

Haru giggled. “Oh, I know that feeling. It’s exciting, isn’t it? All the control is suddenly in your hands.”

Makoto looked back and forth between the Haru and Akira in sheer horror. “My God. The two of you are a lot to handle.”

Akira shrugged once more. “So I’ve been told.”

At that point, the conversation was cut off by the festival MC. “And now, it’s time for your favorite Shujin tradition: the Shujin Sharing Special.”

“What’s that?” Akira’s eyebrows knit together in confusion. ‘Shujin sharing special?’ What kind of name was that?

Makoto pinched the bridge of her nose while Haru tried to actively avert her gaze from the stage.

“Shujin does this thing every year where they have students go up on stage, in front of everyone, and has to admit something about themselves.” Makoto rolled her eyes.

Haru gripped her forearm nervously. “Understandably, the students don’t like this one much. The staff, though…”

“The older teachers adore this event. Every year, we still have this, no matter how much we hate it.”

Akira wrinkled his nose in disgust. “That’s invasive. In some way, shape or form that can’t be legal.”

“You’d think, right?”

“Alright, who has something to say! Anyone?” The MC asked cheerfully. There was no reaction. “No one? Alright guess I’ll have to pick someone! Hmm…”

Something about this guy’s voice bothered Akira. He was like a cartoon character, really. A cartoon character that overreacted to everything.

“Hmm, how about the fluffy haired girl over there! I choose you!”

Haru jumped. Shock and fear crossed her face. “Wh-what?!”

“Well come on up!”

Somehow, Haru was ushered to the stage.

Makoto stared out wistfully. “Oh no… Haru….”

“Come on, Niijima. Let’s go see how this turns out.” Akira pressed his hand against Makoto’s back, right between her shoulder blades and pushed her forward, lightly. “We have a gardner to save.”

Akira guided Makoto to the front row and took a seat. He gave Haru a reassuring thumbs up, hoping she could see him. Judging by the stage lights, probably not. This entire thing was being treated like a performance, but much worse.

“And your name is?” The MC asked, shoving the microphone into Haru’s face. “Wait, are you Okumura-san…?!”

Haru exhaled audibly into the microphone. “Um… yes.”

“O-oh, well, uh… my condolences. I’m sure you’re, um, still grieving…”

“Please don’t worry.” Haru held her hands up in surrender and waved him off.

The MC paused awkwardly. “So, uh… Do you have anything you’d like to share with us?”

Haru shook her head, her discomfort written all over her posture. She moved one arm to clasp at the sleeve of her sweater. Her knees were turned slightly, as if getting ready to take off. Her teeth sunk into her bottom lip. It was hard to not notice how uneasiness.

“Err… here, then, let me give you a question. Do you think the Phantom Thieves are really Shujin students?”

“Huh?!” Haru gasped. She moved her arms protectively in front of her face and made soft, sputtering sounds.

Uh oh.

Makoto widened her eyes. “How could he ask her a question like that?” She hissed.

It’s not like the school knew Haru was a Phantom Thief… It was probably best to avoid saying so, just in case someone were to overhear.

It was time to change the subject. Akira sighed and stood up. “Hey! Haru Okumura!”

Makoto tugged at the bottom of his jacket. “What are you doing?! Sit down.”

He ignored her. Hey, maybe it was time to kill two birds with one stone. “Okumura-san. Do you have a boyfriend?” He spared a glance at Makoto out of the corner of his eye. “My friend here has a crush on you.”

“Akira!” Makoto elbowed his leg. Even in the limited lighting, the red glow on her cheeks was visible.

“What?!” Haru squeaked. Her face turned nearly the color of Makoto’s eyes. “I-I-, what?”

“Akira! Sit down. Right now.” Makoto made strange, frantic motions with her hands. “Please, for the love of God, sit down or I will hit you with your chair.”

He shrugged. “Haru, my friend really likes you. Since they won’t ask you, I will. Will you go out with them?” Akira signalled to Makoto. “They have short brown hair and is really responsible. They’re also telling me to sit down or else they’ll hit me with a chair, in which case you get to see a chair thrown at me. Please go out with them?”

Haru fanned her face with her hand while the MC made comments that Akira barely paid attention to.

“U-um… Maybe after this, if your friend wants to get coffee or something… I wouldn’t mind.” She turned her head away, but the crimson blush staining her pretty pale skin was visible from space.

Akira nudged Makoto lightly. “You’re welcome.”

“Akira Kurusu, you are on extremely thin ice.” Makoto growled.

He shrugged. “Well, I’m going to head home. Good luck on your date.” He waved a hand at her and stalked off. God, he needed a shower. Or Yusuke. Or both.

Both sounded good.


October 27th 2017

12:04 am


Makoto Niijima → Akira Kurusu


MN: Akira you better have a good explanation for what happened at the festival tonight.

AK: Yeah. Your pining was getting to be insane. You’re welcome.

MN: That was completely uncalled for, you know.

AK: Why? It changed the subject so Haru didn’t have to answer a question about the Phantom Thieves and potentially reveal that she’s a Phantom Thief, and you got to go on a date with a cute girl.

MN: It wasn’t a date! We just got coffee, and talked…

AK: Oh yeah? About what?

MN: About what happened with Akechi-kun today, of course.

AK: Uh huh.

MN: ...And, your little “stunt” a bit…

AK: Okay.

AK: And?

MN: And… tomorrow we’re going to go to Dome Town together…

AK: You mean like a date?

MN: ...Maybe…

AK: Hey nice job! So does this mean you have a soft, pastel gardener girlfriend who’s also apparently a sadist?

MN: Well… not quite.

MN: That’s besides the point. You didn’t have to announce it in front of everyone like that. That was beyond extra.

AK: Makoto you know I am nothing if not extra. I have to make a little show of everything, you know? At least you got a date out of it.

MN: Fine. But I’m still annoyed with you.

AK: That’s fair. One day you’ll look back and laugh on this moment, while sipping coffee and allowing your future wife to tie you up with leather rope.

MN: Akira!


October 27th 2017

9:10 am


Fuck Akechi


Panther: so are we going to talk about what happened yesterday?

Skull: yea akechi is fukin blackmailin us

Panther: ugh what are we going to do

Joker: Well, it seems to me that he wants us to do something in the Metaverse, so that we can discover the true killer. Only question is what exactly does he want?

Panther: maybe he wants us to change someones heart? wouldn’t be the first time we got requested to change someone else’s heart

Joker: That is true, but we can’t confirm that. We’ll have to agree to his conditions first.

Joker: Not that we really have a choice…

Skull: fucking dammit this is such bullshiut

Panther: bullshiut

Joker: bullshiut

Skull: fuck

Skull: watever doesnt matter

Skull: were being fucking blackmailed

Joker: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say “fuck” this many times.

Joker: Rip.

Panther: ugh

Joker: In other news, apparently phallic objects represent power.



Panther: why are you telling us this

Panther: are you going to say some shit like “haha no wonder i’m the leader it’s because of my dick lol xD”

Joker: Okay 1.) I would never use “lol xD”

Skull: thank god

Joker: I would use “lmao X3”

Skull: FFS

Joker: 2.) No. You think so lowly of me, Ann.

Joker: I just thought it was slightly amusing that apparently dicks mean power.

Joker: Think of what we can do with this information now.

Panther: it’s slightly sexist :\

Joker: If it means anything, you have bigger dick energy than Ryuji and I combined.

Skull: i mean,,,id deny it but its tru

Panther: who has the biggest dick energy?

Joker: Makoto.

Skull: makoto

Panther: That’s...true.

Joker: In order from biggest dick energy to smallest dick energy: Makoto, Yusuke, Ann, myself, Ryuji, Futaba.

Joker: Not including Morgana because he’s a cat.

Panther: why does yusuke have such big dick energy?

Joker: Have you met him? He has huge dick energy.

Joker: This isn’t just me being thirsty either.

Skull: dude

Panther: i hate that you’re right akira



Oracle: except makoto but no one has bigger dick energy than makoto

Joker: Futaba has small dick energy





Skull: dead meme

Panther: absolutlt

Skull: stop

Joker: Hey I have a question.

Panther: yea?

Joker: When Morgana turns into a bus, and we...enter the Mona bus…

Panther: don’t phrase it like that!!

Joker: Are we…

Joker: Are we getting vored by Morgana?

Skull: DUDE



Oracle: yes

Joker: Fuck.

Skull: no wtf

Fox: I picked the wrong time to open the chat.

Joker: Yusuke we’re getting vored by Morgana.

Fox: I’m not participating in this conversation.

Oracle: bitch you drew freddy fazbear mpreg art you have no right to act disgusted

Panther: i’m sorry yusuke did what

Fox: It’s not what you think.

Oracle: fuckuinari.img

Oracle: :3c

Skull: yusuke r u sure it aint a kink

Fox: Ryuji I am completely positive it’s not a kink.

Panther: i have so many questions

Joker: Uh same?

Joker: Forget the vore, Yusuke why did you draw that.

Panther: no wonder akira and yusuke go so well together

Skull: christ

Fox: It was a commission and I needed the money.

Oracle: ^

Oracle: its currently framed and hung up on my bedroom wall i love it

Oracle: yo inari if i paid you would you write the words “fuck off cocksucker” in perfect calligraphy for me

Joker: Oh my God.

Fox: Why not.

Fox: You wouldn’t have to pay me for that one, to be perfectly honest.

Oracle: :\

Oracle: dont you only have like 5 yen


Joker: Yusuke, can I get that in calligraphy too?

Skull: same

Panther: same

Fox: Okay.

Joker: We can be matchy.

Joker: Also you’re getting paid for it fuck you.

Fox: That’s not necessary.

Joker: No fuck you you’re getting paid and you better spend that money on food.


Chapter Text

October 27th 2017

10:12 pm


Fuck Akechi


Joker: @Everyone get your asses online we have news.

Skull: wats up?

Panther: yea?

Fox: Is something wrong?

Queen: Yes, Akira?

Oracle: yo

Noir: Yes?

Joker: Damn that was fast.

Joker: Okay here’s the deal

Joker: So Akechi wants to meet up with us tomorrow to go over some shit. We still need to talk about what happened.

Panther: yeah what are we going to do??

Joker: We’re going to do the only thing we can do: accept his offer.

Skull: im sorry were doin wat

Joker: You heard me. We’re accepting his offer. It’s the only thing we can do.

Joker: Besides, something tells me he’s not going to tell us his full plan until we agree to work with him. We still don’t entirely know what he plans once he has us on his side. However…

Queen: How can we be sure he’s telling us the truth?

Joker: We can’t. Don’t ask why, but something tells me he is lying to us, or at the very least isn’t telling the full truth. I can’t say how much was the truth, how much he was lying about, or how much he is/isn’t telling us, but there’s something very wrong with his statement, and I’m determined to find out what.

Fox: How can you be so sure?

Joker: I guess you can say it’s just a hunch.

Joker: Either way, Morgana, Futaba and I have talked about it. Futaba is building something to help us out.

Oracle: yup its almost done

Joker: You’re amazing for a gremlin.

Oracle: >:3

Joker: Anyways yeah tomorrow night we’re meeting at the hideout to talk with Akechi.

Queen: Wait a second Akira, aren’t we moving a little too fast here? How can you be so sure he’s lying? What evidence do you have to back it up?

Joker: Makoto I get your concern but for right now you just need to trust me, okay? I’ll explain everything later but right now just trust me.

Noir: I trust you akira-kun. Please do your best. You’ll explain everything when the time is right.

Queen: Okay. I trust you.

Joker: It will all be explained soon. Just wait it out a little, alright? I promise.

Panther: we trust you akira


October 28th 2017

12:19 am


Fuck Akechi


Oracle: so i have made a very important decision

Oracle: i no longer want a throne of bones

Oracle: well i do but it can wait

Fox: Any particular reason for the sudden change?

Oracle: im glad you asked inari

Fox: Oh no.

Oracle: instead of turning the bones collected into a throne

Oracle: im going to vore them

Fox: I’m sorry what.

Oracle: you heard me

Fox: I wish I hadn’t.

Oracle: vore your bones

Fox: Don’t do that.

Oracle: bone vore

Fox: No.

Joker: Hey question why the fuck does this chat always manage to get more cursed than it already is.

Oracle: ill vore your bones

Fox: Futaba why are you like this.

Oracle: furry

Fox: Gremlin.


Oracle: ok coming from you that hurts

Oracle: you know what inari im just gonna vore your entire fucking skull

Fox: Do not.

Joker: Don’t vore bones.

Oracle: akira im voring your boyfs bones

Joker: No only I can vore his bones.

Fox: Stop.

Joker: Specifically one bone. That’s not a bone. And I’m not really voring it.

Joker: … I’m saying I want to suck your dick Yusuke.

Fox: I got that part. No you cannot.

Joker: Damn.

Fox: Don’t vore bones either.


Oracle: hearing inari say it is so fucking surreal

Oracle: or type it

Oracle: bitch i know youre going to fucking correct me dont you dare

Joker: Holy fucking shit I am so gay what the hell.

Oracle: we know akira

Oracle: he said vore once

Oracle: you dont have to nut 8 times in a row and then furiously jack off to his picture jfc

Fox: Unless you are actually interested in vore, in which case get help.




Oracle: i take back everything i previously said

Oracle: inari is now my new favorite

Fox: I would say it’s an honor but it really is not.

Oracle: :\

Oracle: nvm im voring your fucking teeth

Fox: Teeth are not bones.

Joker: Wait what.

Fox: bones.img

Fox: They aren’t bones.




Joker: Yiff bitch im,,,





Fox: Akira why are you so thirsty please calm down.

Oracle: HA


Joker: ..

Joker: I take it back you’re both fucking demons. Ryuji is the only one I need in my life. The rest of you are monsters.

Joker: @Skull Congratulations you’re my favorite.

Skull: aw yis

Skull: yusuke im stealin ur man

Fox: Take him.

Joker: Wow rude love you too

Oracle: ryuji im going to vore your bones

Skull: hey uh

Skull: dont do that tf

Joker: Now you see why I no longer want this gremlin in my life.

Skull: yea thts fair

Oracle: >:(

Oracle: rude

Oracle: hey akira

Oracle: now that ryujis your favorite are you gonna try to vore his bone too

Skull: wh

Skull: u say that like i only have 1 bone

Oracle: akira knows what im talking about

Joker: No that’s cheating. I might be thirsty but I’m not a cheater.

Oracle: its not cheating if he knows and is ok with it

Skull: the hell r u referring to

Fox: At this point I have already acknowledged the fact that Akira is a rather… promiscuous person.

Oracle: youre fine with that?

Fox: I don’t care as long as he’s not seeing anyone without my knowledge.


Joker: In that case…

Joker: Ryuji I’m going to fuck you.



Fox: Is it too late to change my mind about that last part?

Oracle: yup

Fox: I have made a mistake.

Skull: yusuke u can have ur man back

Fox: Thanks, but I don’t want him.

Skull: come get ur man i cant keep him

Fox: Fine.

Joker: You make it sound like I’m a pet what the hell guys.

Oracle: i mean you are inaris bitch



Fox: I have no comment.

Oracle: hey akira

Oracle: are you a furry

Joker: Uh what

Oracle: youre dating group furry #1

Oracle: that makes you a furry by default

Oracle: group furry #3

Skull: whos 2

Oracle: ann

Skull: makes sense


Joker: You know what yes I am a furry.

Skull: qwaesrdfgh

Oracle: knew it

Oracle: fuckin furry

Joker: Thanks I didn’t ask for this.

Skull: yea u did

Oracle: yes you did

Fox: You sort of did.

Joker: Fucc


October 28th 2017

8:10 pm


Fuck Akechi


Joker: So I guess this is where we’re at, huh…

Noir: He really did want us to change a heart after all

Joker: How’s Makoto holding up?

Noir: She’s ok. I’m making us some tea right now. She doesn’t seem to want to talk about what happened, at least not yet.

Joker: That’s fine. We won’t press her to talk about it right now but..we do have to talk about it now. She doesn’t have to contribute to the discussion but as long as she reads these messages later.

Noir: Got it. I’ll make sure she reads everything.

Joker: So. Sae has a palace.

Noir: Apparently so…

Joker: Have you ever met Makoto’s sister, Haru?

Noir: No. I’ve heard about her and maybe one day i can meet her though.

Joker: Well, the way it looks, we have to change Sae’s heart so you’re going to get to meet her real soon.

Skull: woulda been nice 2 kno before that sae has a palace

Joker: Yeah well…

Joker: It would have, given that she’s been on our ass since probably Kaneshiro, but what can you really do. Makoto didn’t think it was important until now.

Skull: so what do you think leader? we doin this?

Joker: We have no choice.

Noir: Something has been bothering me about akechi-kun…

Skull: wdym

Noir: Something just doesn’t seem right. He seems so intent on finding the true culprit, and he thinks that he truly is doing the right thing, yet from the beginning he’s thought us guilty…

Joker: That’s true. Shortly after Madarame, Akechi announced on live TV that he believes we’re criminals, yet now he wants us to work with him?

Skull: its such bullshit obviously we aint the ones who believe in “false justice” or w/e the fuck hes been spouting on about

Joker: You can’t sat we’re “false justice” but at the same time… It’s really morally gray. We are doing some good in the world but in a way that’s kind of sketchy. Yes, we are saving people. Look at Yusuke and Futaba and Haru. We saved all three of them from horrible people, but the way we went about it, we went behind the target’s back and forced them to confess. It really is a gray area, and the police seem to think we lean more towards evil than good.

Joker: I do see where you’re coming from. Everyone on this team has been saved from some corrupt adult.

Skull: yea exactly

Skull: if the media knew we were actually savin people who needed it they would see things from our view right?

Joker: It’s possible. Still, do you really want to be the one to come forward and say “The Phantom Thieves saved me from Asshole Squidward.” They probably wouldn’t believe you and it would paint a bright red target on you.

Joker: Hell, half of us are already considered suspicious due to our ties with previous targets.

Noir: It’s true. Me, ryuji-kun, ann-chan and yusuke-kun are probably the most suspicious given how obvious our ties are to some of the previous targets. Keeping our heads down has been difficult.

Joker: Yeah. It’s no wonder we were caught. Our little band of misfits is completely suspicious.

Joker: In our group we have the criminal transfer student who carries around a cat, the delinquent who was kicked off the track team for assault, Kamoshida’s girl, Madarame’s ex-pupil, the student council president, a random girl that no one has ever seen before, and Okumura’s daughter. With the exception of Futaba, Makoto and myself, we all have clear traces to some of the previous targets.

Skull: wat r u sayin akira

Joker: I’m saying it’s no wonder we got caught. If we don’t act soon, more people are going to catch on. Either we get caught or some innocent person gets framed by the police for our behavior. Sae is corrupt and if we don’t change her heart than who knows who will get hurt.

Noir: He’s right. I don’t like what akechi-kun is doing but we have to do this.

Skull: this just dont sit right with me

Joker: It doesn’t sit right with any of us.

Joker: I have to talk to Futaba about something. The rest of you, try to get some rest. We’ll talk about it more tomorrow morning, okay?

Skull: gotcha

Noir: Good luck akira-kun.

Joker: Thank you. I promise we’re going to get some answers very soon.


October 28th 2017

8:15 pm


Akira Kurusu → Futaba Sakura


AK: How’s it going,

FS: just about done

FS: give me about an hour

FS: i need to finish troubleshooting

FS: i think i see the problem though

FS: yeah give me an hour

FS: ill head over when im done

AK: You’re doing great. Thank you little gremlin.

FS: (σ゚∀゚)σ


October 28th 2017

9:40 pm


Approximately twenty minutes after arriving at Leblanc, Futaba showed off her newest creation and then passed out on the couch in Akira’s attic.

Morgana’s tail swished back and forth as he eyed her sleeping form from the other side of the room. Who was to say how long she’d be out. She may have been obnoxious and annoying sometimes, but he had to admit that she had done some great things for the team.

Akira shoved his hands in his jean pockets. Anxiety was written all over his face, in a way that wouldn’t have been obvious to anyone else. Had Morgana not spent so much time around the guy, he never would have been able to pick up on it.

“You think it’ll work?” Akira asked. His voice was quiet, and flat, as per usual.

Morgana nodded once. It had to work. Futaba was an expert, and it was the only shot they had. “We won’t know until we try.”

Akira jerked his head in Futaba’s direction. “What about…”

“Let her sleep. She’s been up for days working on it.” Morgana padded across the table he stood on.

“You’re right.” Akira ran a hand through his messy hair. “What do you think Akechi might be planning?”

“Who can say. Either way, he’s definitely lying about something.” Morgana considered. Mentally, he went over all the information Akechi had provided them.

  • Akechi had a persona
  • Apparently he had seen the true culprit
  • He claimed to have only entered the Metaverse a month ago
  • He wanted to change Sae’s heart
  • Sae had a palace
  • He wanted the help of the Phantom Thieves
  • The Phantom Thieves were unjust
  • The Phantom Thieves were to disband after changing Sae’s heart
  • If the Phantom Thieves didn’t cooperate, Akechi would reveal their identities and have them arrested
  • If the Phantom Thieves didn’t cooperate, then someone else was likely to be framed for their crimes

Just thinking about it left a bitter taste in Morgana’s mouth.

Akechi had heard him talking. He had heard the pancake conversation at the TV station.

The part about only having entered the Metaverse a month ago was a clear lie. It had been much longer than a single month.

In the words of Akira, Akechi fucked up. He fucked up and had no idea they fucked up. In a sense, that meant the Phantom Thieves were ahead of him, if by a small amount. How long until they had definite answers was only a matter of time. They would just have to wait until Futaba’s application was installed into Akechi’s phone. From there, they’d have all they needed.

Then, it was game over.

Akira smirked. “We’ll just have to wait and see.”


October 29th 2017

9:18 pm


Fuck Akechi


Queen: Akira, I know we already added him to the main Phantom Thief group chat but should we add Akechi to this chat as well?

Skull: nooo dont do that

Panther: half the reason this chat was created was to shit on akechi why would we add him

Queen: So he doesn’t get suspicious of our activity and feels included in the team?

Oracle: thats dumb we dont need him

Fox: Why do we feel the need to include him, we’re being blackmailed. That doesn’t sound like a “teammate” to me.

Skull: ^

Panther: ^

Oracle: ^

Queen: It’s to avoid raising suspicion.

Queen: Either way, I wasn’t asking you four. I was asking Akira.

Skull: @joker

Skull: ya got to @ the boy makoto

Fox: I’ll tell him to answer his phone.

Queen: Thank you, Yusuke.

Panther: gay

Fox: Your point, Ann?

Joker: Hhh what do you want

Panther: are we adding akechi to this group chat?

Joker: hhhhhhhhhhhhh hold on

Joker: Hey Futaba you want to delete the chat history so he can’t scroll through and find the part where we called him a twink as well as other things.

Panther: you mean the part where you said you would fuck him?


Joker: I didn’t say that shut up.

Panther: yes you did stop trying to deny it

Oracle: done

Joker: i never said that you have no proof

Queen: Um what about the chat name.


Joker: Hold on I’m coming up with a good name.

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Bible Study ~

Panther: AKIRA

Oracle: PFFFT

Skull: dude

Fox: This group is the furthest thing from “bible study” but okay.

Joker: At least it’s not Fuck Akechi anymore.

Fox: “Bible Study” just raises more questions.

Joker: We’re a bible study group now accept it.

Joker: Besides you made me t-pose in a church.

Fox: You were the one who offered to take your clothes off in a church.

Joker: You would have let me had we not been in a church.

Oracle: guys stop fucking in a church thats disprespectful

Fox: We’re not?

Joker: If I were given the okay I would fuck anywhere.

Skull: dude

Panther: hey akira?

Joker: Yeah?

Panther: thot.jpg

Joker: Thanks Ann.

Queen: If you’re all done, then I’ll add Akechi to the group.

Joker: Thanks Makoto.

~ Queen has added Goro Akechi to the chat~

~ Queen has changed Goro Akechi’s name to Crow ~

Joker: Makoto this is exactly why I made you mod.

Joker: Hey Akechi.

Crow: Oh, hello. What is this?

Fox: A group chat, can’t you tell.

Oracle: no shit inari

Crow: I’m aware of that much, haha. I mean what is this chat?

Joker: We’re trying to keep the main group chat clutter free so we basically just screw around here.

Crow: I see.

Oracle: wait

Oracle: now that akechi is in the chat

Oracle: initiation

Crow: Initiation?

Oracle: ant tamogatchi and ryobi socialmotorboat

Oracle: are you ready

Joker: Oh no..

Panther: always

Skull: hell yes

Joker: You guys just won’t let this joke die will you

Oracle: everyone else already has a fucky version of their names

Oracle: crow deserves one now

Crow: What?

Oracle: >:3

Panther: what are you thinking fruity squirrel

Oracle: hmm

Oracle: gore sketchy

Crow: Excuse me?

Panther: its perfect

Skull: i love it

Joker: Ignore them. They’re just being assholes.

Joker: Let the joke die you heathens.

Oracle: never

Panther: accept it africa

Joker: Stop it

Oracle: itll never stop

Joker: Jesus christ you’re all gremlins

Crow: I must say, I was not aware you were all religious.

Skull: uh wat

Crow: “Bible study.”

Panther: oh yeah hahaha

Panther: we looove jesus and all that hahah!! welcome to bible study!!

Skull: hail satan




Oracle: biblestudy.gif


Fox: Praise Muhammad.

Panther: YUSUKE NO


Joker: Holy shit that is the man I want to marry what the fuck.

Queen: Can you five please try to be mature for once in your lives.

Joker: Nah.

Queen: No, we are not a bible study, I don’t know why the group name is “Bible Study.” The chat name changes rather frequently, so give it a few days.

Joker: Praise Allah?

Queen: No.


October 29th 2017

10:01 pm


~ Akira Kurusu has added Ryuji Sakamoto to the chat~

~ Akira Kurusu has changed their name to Joker ~

~ Joker has added Ann Takamaki to the chat~

~ Joker has added Yusuke Kitagawa to the chat~

~ Joker has added Makoto Niijima to the chat~

~ Joker has added Futaba Sakura to the chat~

~ Joker has added Haru Okumura to the chat~

~ Joker has changed Ryuji Sakamoto’s name to Skull ~

~ Joker has changed Ann Takamaki’s name to Panther ~

~ Joker has changed Yusuke Kitagawa’s name to Fox ~

~ Joker has changed Makoto Niijima’s name to Queen ~

~ Joker has changed Futaba Sakura’s name to Oracle ~

~ Joker has changed Haru Okumura’s name to Noir ~

~ Joker has changed the name of the chat to Talk Shit Get Hit ~

~ Joker has promoted Queen to Moderator ~

Joker: There we go.

Panther: uhh akira? what is this?

Joker: Another group chat. Akechi is in our other chat so we can’t shit talk him there.

Joker: Also… there’s a reason I told Futaba to delete that shit earlier.

Noir: What’s going on akira-kun?

Joker:’s time we provided you guys with some answers.

Joker: Morgana and I noticed something, when we were talking to Akechi in the faculty lounge. Ann and Ryuji might recall this.

Joker: Do you guys remember the trip to the TV station, and how Akechi approached us before filming started?

Panther: yeah why?

Ryuji: yup. wat about it?

Joker: Remember when we were talking about Dome Town?

Panther: yeah…?

Skull: where r u goin with this

Joker: Morgana described it as “the pancake looking building.”

Joker: Akechi heard Morgana say that. He even asked us about pancakes while we were talking to him.

Panther: oh…

Skull: ...shit

Queen: ..Oh my God.

Noir: No…

Joker: No one can hear Morgana unless they’ve been in the Metaverse.

Joker: Akechi lied to us. Morgana was the only one talking about pancakes, and Akechi heard it.

Skull: that bastard

Oracle: thats not all

Joker: Morgana and I approached Futaba with this, and asked her to make something for us.

Oracle: some of my best work if you ask me

Joker: She developed a program that was unknowingly installed into Akechi’s phone. It allows us to overhear and record his phone conversations and some of the contents of his phone.

Panther: well?? have you gotten anything worth wild yet??

Oracle: not yet

Oracle: unless you count his depressing search history

Oracle: also if anyone is interested i can probably dig up his porn preferences

Skull: thats..ok futaba

Panther: we don’t need to know that

Queen: Your efforts are appreciated but we don’t need..that.

Oracle: you sure? while i was at it i was also able to dig up saes cup size >:3

Queen: Futaba!

Panther: that’s impressive if not slightly invasive

Joker: What’s on Pancake Boy’s search history?

Oracle: its really depressing actually

Oracle: “how to pretend to be happy”

Oracle: “what do you do when the person you like is in a relationship”

Oracle: “healthy methods for coping with daddy issues”

Oracle: damn no wonder he fits in with the team so well

Oracle: and i thought i had problems

Oracle: oh and then theres this gem

Oracle: “how to avoid punching idiots in the face”

Oracle: same akechi

Oracle: what a fucking mood

Queen: Okay Futaba, we’ve seen enough. Let’s focus on finding out what he’s planning.

Panther: why would akechi lie to us?

Joker: To trick us into going along with whatever he’s plotting.

Fox: Only question is what is he plotting…

Joker: That’s what we’re trying to figure out.

Joker: All we can do is wait, I suppose. See if we can find what we need.


October 30th 2017

8:46 pm


Bible Study


Joker: Good work today, guys. Sae’s palace is the most difficult one we have yet to face, but if we keep going at this rate we should find her treasure in no time.

Queen: Compliments aren’t going to get you anywhere, Akira.

Joker: Oh come on. I wasn’t the only one, everyone else was checking her out.

Queen: Maybe so but you were the only one to verbalize it. You’re lucky you’re not dead where you stand.

Joker: My face and heart still hurt what’s your point.

Queen: My point is don’t call my sister’s shadow attractive or I will break your limbs.

Crow: Niijima-san, I get that you’re upset about this, as you have every right to be, but please calm down. Hopefully our leader will keep his comments to himself from now on. Right, Kurusu?


Joker: Fine but only because Yusuke is pissed at me.

Skull: y is yusuke pissed at u


Joker: You know I didn’t realize my boyfriend was the jealous type until now.

Skull: wat did u do holy shit


Joker: Remember when we came face to face with shadow Sae for the first time?

Skull: yea nd u said “fuckin nice” like a moron

Queen: Don’t remind me, Ryuji. You’re lucky you weren’t thrown out the second story window.


Queen: You did nothing to hide your obvious staring, either.



Joker: When I said that Yusuke heard me and now he won’t talk to me.

Skull: @fox talk to ur man he wont stop pouting

Fox: I’m sorry, you appear to be mistaken. I’m single.

Skull: PFFT


Fox: Hmm I can’t read that.



Queen: Akira you may want to watch your phrasing :)

Skull: dangerous smiley...

Fox: Still can’t read, that’s strange.

Skull: he says shadow sae is hot but ur his one and only

Skull: also he wants u to talk to him

Fox: Tell him I’ll consider it.

Skull: akira he said hell consider talking to u again

Joker: Fuck.

Crow: I never realized just how lively this bunch would be.

Skull: surprise

Joker: Here we have relationship drama, cursed art, and dumb microwave shenanigans

Skull: nd we fuck with peoples names

Joker: No we do not shut the fuck up.

Skull: africa kangaroo

Queen: I still don’t understand that joke…

Skull: mascara nimrod

Queen: Exactly.

Skull: gore sketchy

Crow: That’s not my name...

Skull: yugio kitwater

Fox: Makoto at this point I find it best to stop asking those kind of questions.

Queen: That’s… a fair point.

Queen: I don’t get this group sometimes.

Joker: I don’t get why Yusuke still isn’t talking to me come on I’m sorry.

Queen: Akira you are on very thin ice with both of us right now. If I were you I would suggest just staying quiet.

Joker: :(

Joker: Wait shit. I just got to Leblanc with Futaba and Sojiro looks pissed. Uhh better deal with this be back later.


October 30th 2017

8:54 pm


As soon as they stepped through the door, Akira knew something was wrong.

The atmosphere was heavy, like someone had put a gun to his back, or Akechi had just walked in in the middle of a conversation about him. Already, Akira didn’t know if he could breathe properly.

Futaba, apparently, who had decided to tag along and walk to Leblanc with Akira, didn’t notice. “We’re home.” She announced joyfully.

Sojiro sat at one of the barstools, not even batting an eyelash in their direction. He said nothing.

“Sojiro…?” Futaba questioned. She instinctively moved her hands by her face, like a dog begging for food.

Instead of responding, however, Sojiro swept something off the counter and held it up for her and Akira to see.

Oh shit…

A familiar, black and red colored index card was forcefully shoved into the faces of Akira and Futaba. A calling card… Had Futaba kept her calling card?!

“I was cleaning up, and I found this,” Sojiro spoke slowly and timidly. The calm before the storm, Akira though. Immediately he knew everything was going to go very wrong, very fast.

Futaba jumped, followed by a soft gasp.

“This is a calling card, right? I read about them online.” Sojiro set the card down on the counter.

“Y-you went through my stuff without permission?!” Futaba growled.

Mentally, Akira cursed. He hated it when people argued in front of him. For the most part, he liked to consider himself a grounded person but… Arguing and yelling always got to him. It probably had something to do with his childhood, and his actual parents. Maybe he could defuse the bomb before it inevitably exploded.

“Hey, Futaba, that’s not what’s important right now. Uh…” Akira approached Futaba. She waved him off.

“No, you don’t understand. That was behind the picture Inari drew for me. Remember? I framed it and put it on my wall? And it’s a huge invasion of my privacy, I...” She clenched her fists and turned back to Sojiro. “Why would you go through my stuff like that?”

Akira bit his lip. Dammit…

“I’ll apologize as much as you want later,” Sojiro lifted up the card once more. For the first time that night, he turned to look Futaba in the eye. “So, you want to explain this to me?”

“That’s…” Futaba folded her hands behind her back and aimed her gaze awkwardly at the ground. Her voice shook; the beginning of an anxiety attack, Akira suspected.

“Is it something to get flustered over?” Sojiro grunted. “I knew it. This isn’t just some ‘game’ you’re playing.”

Futaba remained silent. Her gaze was still aimed at the ground. Her legs began to shake.

“Why aren’t you saying anything?”

Morgana poked his head out from Akira’s bag. “Why did you keep it?!” He hissed. Akira shoved his head back into his bag before he made matters worse.

Futaba shook her head. “I mean… It was memorable…” She whispered. Her voice rose and dropped several octaves.

Sojiro slammed the calling card back onto the counter. “Explain.”

Futaba hugged her arms to her chest and made a noise like a whimper in response. Her breathing suddenly became more shallow.

Sojiro raised an eyebrow in skepticism. “What? Is it something you can’t explain?”

Futaba made a few more strangled, panicked noises. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes.

Akira stepped forward, guarding her protectively. “Listen, I’ll explain everything. Don’t blame Futaba for this.”

Futaba grabbed hold of his uniform jacket and clutched it like her life depended on it.

“Oh? Well then I’ll get right to the point,” Sojiro growled. His face was pure stone; as cold as pure ice. “Is this a ‘real’ calling card? Was a ‘change of heart’ triggered in you, Futaba?”

She buried her face in her hands and a few ragged sobs escaped from her. Her entire body shook.

Apparently, that was enough of an answer. “How ‘bout it…” Sojiro sighed in exasperation.

Futaba sniffled. Somehow, she managed to pull her hands away from her face and stammer out a semi-coherent sentence. “Ever since… Mom died… there was… no escape. I-I was..trapped. In my own h-heart, and..” Her voice cracked violently. “I..I had to leave it but..I couldn’t do it by m-myself…” She choked out another sob.

Sojiro pinched the bridge of his nose. “Here, sit down.” Concern somehow wedged its way into his otherwise embittered words. “I can at least listen to what you have to say.”

She nodded and slid into one of the booths, pulling Akira along with her. She tugged at one of Akira’s sleeves. He got the message and put an arm around her in comfort. Sojiro slid into the seat across from them, and the calling card was placed in the center of the table.

Futaba wiped at her eyes. They waited a few moments for her to calm down. At some point, a glass of water was set in front of her.

“T-the Phantom Thieves… they saved me… They stole… my messed up heart. I-it’s the same as Mom’s research, they changed my cognition.” Her voice cracked once again. She pressed her face into Akira’s side. He held her there, softly rubbing comforting patterns into her back. Sometimes she was a gremlin, but at the end of the day, Futaba was still part of the team. She was probably closer to Akira than anyone else, even Ryuji who he had known from day one. In every way except biologically, Akira considered her his younger sister.

Sojiro closed his eyes. Under his breath he muttered a frustrated “seriously” and sighed once more. “Wakaba’s research about altering one’s cognition… I wondered about it myself, too, but still…

Akira swallowed. “When did you notice Futaba’s change of heart?” He managed to ask.

“When she said she was going to the beach out of nowhere. Even the doctors had thrown in the towel. At first, I just chalked it up as as other kids being better support for you than any other adult,” The last part was aimed at Futaba. “But as I kept watching the tabloid shows here day in and day out, a thought crossed my mind. I thought… your case was similar to that of what the Phantom Thieves had been doing.”

Futaba pulled her face away from Akira’s chest, but still kept his arm around her, similar to that of a security blanket. “...Wow.”

“I’m still your guardian, you know. I’d never overlook such a drastic change in your behavior. But to think that Wakaba’s research and the Phantom Thieves changing hearts were about the same thing…” Sojiro rubbed the back of his neck. He shook his head. “Back in the day, I used to be a government official. My job was to be the bridge between the country and the lab that Wakaba worked at. That’s how I got to know her. One night, we went out drinking and she said something… odd. She said that she might die soon, in a strange way. I just laughed it off, and took it as a joke, but it happened exactly as she said. If anything were to happen to you, Futaba, I’d feel like I let her down.” He turned his attention to Akira. “Hey, there’s something I want to ask you, Akira.”

Akira nodded. “Okay.”

“Judging from your attitude, you knew about this calling card, didn’t you?”

Akira’s heart fell into the pit of his stomach.

Sojiro continued on. “You should have known that Futaba had a change of heart through the Phantom Thieves as well,” His eyebrows furrowed. “Is there a connection between you and them?”


“The first incident of a change of heart was a teacher at your school.”

Shit fuck.

“One of your friends was the pupil of that artist who had a change of heart. And then, there’s Futaba…”

Shit shit shit shit fuck fuck fuck.

“These scandals always seem to find a way around you. What do you have to say?”


Akira bit harshly on his tongue, aggressively racking his brain for the right words. Internally, the only words coming to mind were different variations of fuck shit son of a bitch I am so fucking screwed what the hell.  Akira considered slamming his hands on the table, screaming the words “I PLEAD THE FIFTH” and sprinting out of there as fast as he could possibly run. Funny enough, “plead the fifth” wasn’t even a thing in Japan. He wasn’t entirely sure where he got that from. Sojiro wouldn’t appreciate it, anyways. At that point, Akira would probably just be kicked out. If it hadn’t worked for Makoto, it sure as hell wasn’t going to work for Sojiro.

Instead, Akira exhaled through his nose. “You’re sharp.”

“You think this is a game?” Sojiro scolded.

Wrong answer.

“These people are called criminals by the general public. You, of all people, should know that, Akira.”

Ouch. Below the belt, Sojiro. Below the belt.

“Why did you introduce such dangerous people to Futaba?” Sojiro growled.

A dark shadow overcame Akira, swarming his mind like a wasps nest. Something ached in the back of his head but he couldn’t be sure what.

“T-that’s not true!” Futaba yelped. “I asked them to help me! That’s why Akira saved me! He stole my heart.”

Akira shook his head. They didn’t steal her heart. Futaba was the treasure herself, and she was never stolen.

Sojiro widened his eyes. “... ‘Asked?’ ‘Stole?’”

Futaba clamped a hand over her mouth, realizing just what she said.

“Wait, are you saying he’s the one that stole your heart?” Sojiro barked out. “Are you saying he’s not connected to the Phantom Thieves, but he is one himself? You’re pulling my leg, aren’t you?”

Akira chewed on his lip in anxiety. How did he answer this? There really was no getting around it…

Anxiously he tugged at a lock of his hair. “...I’m a Phantom Thief.”

“...Are you serious? You really are a Phantom Thief? For crying out loud,” Sojiro pressed a hand over his head, like the mere thought was giving him a headache. “Jesus, kid, I told you not to get into any trouble while you were here. These past six months I’ve been sheltering a Phantom Thief? And on top of that, Futaba’s involved, too? What the hell…”

“...If it means anything, we never ‘stole’ Futaba’s heart. We helped her to take back her own heart. There was nothing for us to steal. She stole back what was hers, and we just helped her… find her way.” Akira began to trail off towards the end. Sojiro didn’t know how they went about stealing hearts, so whatever Akira had just explained wouldn’t make much sense.

“I want to find the culprit who killed my mom.” Futaba demanded.

“‘Killed?’” Sojiro sputtered.

“She suffered a mental shutdown,” Akira explained. “The process of that is… similar to stealing a heart.”

Futaba nodded in confirmation. “She was killed. I remember it now.”

“Stop this nonsense!” Sojiro bellowed.

Futaba curled her hands into fists. “Why won’t you believe me?! Are you the same as everybody else?!” More tears gathered at the corners of her eyes, threatening to spill down. “Didn’t you know already?! The way mom died wasn’t normal!” Her voice gradually rose in frustration. “Didn’t you notice that her research was stolen by someone?!”

No one said anything for a few beats. The only noise in the cafe came from Futaba’s ragged breathing. If someone were to drop a pin, it would be heard.

Finally, Sojiro sighed once more. “When she passed away, I did think it was odd. Something was wrong about it, but what could I do? All I was able to do was run from it all. And the outcome of that was… this. The reason I took you into custody was me trying to selfishly atone for what happened to Wakaba. It’s my fault that you got burdened with all this crap, and I’m sorry.”

Futaba shook her head. “It’s not your fault, Sojiro.”

“I acted all big. Lectured, even yelled at you kids, and in the end I’m the one being consoled. I’m a hopeless laughing stalk, aren’t I.” Sojiro exhaled. “I won’t tell anyone that you’re a Phantom Thief, Akira. You can use this place to gather if you need. Just say the words, and I can close up shop early. Besides, not like we’re getting many customers anyway.”

Akira let out a breath of air he hadn’t been aware he was holding. “..Thank you.”

“By the way, Futaba, I have… a question for you.”

Futaba looked up, adjusting her headphones slightly. “Yeah?”

Sojiro stood up and pulled something from out behind the counter. “That calling card… It was behind a very ‘strange’ drawing in your room,” Sojiro pointedly avoided her gaze and set the framed drawing on the table. “Uh… I don’t really know how to put this but…”

Akira leaned over to peak at it and nearly choked. A very detailed Freddy Fazbear from Five Nights at Freddy’s was perfectly sketched with a visibly large belly. The rabbit animatronic, Bonnie, maybe, held a hand over Freddy’s stomach. Akira physically cringed. Yusuke, why.

Futaba giggled. “Inari drew that for me. I hung it up in my room to punish people who went looking through my stuff without my permission.”

“‘Inari?’ You mean…”

“The weird artist who hangs around here a lot,” She shared a look with Akira and snickered, then lightly elbowed him in the side. “Great taste in boys you got there, Akira. You can even see his signature, right by Freddy’s baby bump. ‘Fox,’ see?”

Akira shook his head. “Okay but you asked him to draw it for you. You even paid him.”

“I didn’t tell him to include Bonnie in it, either. That’s your boyfriend, Akira.”

“Okay, listen--”

“It’s the new ‘Sayuri,’” She giggled again. There was the gremlin Akira knew so well.

Sojiro raised an eyebrow in concern. “Akira, are you sure you fully changed her heart? I’m… pretty sure that’s not something someone without some form of distortion would ask for. Or, hell, maybe you should change the artist’s heart.”

Akira inhaled through his teeth. “We didn’t even steal her heart, we healed her heart. In retrospect, maybe we should have stolen it,” He turned to Futaba. “Gremlin.”

“Futaba… maybe you shouldn’t put that for other people to see.” Sojiro couldn’t look at her straight.

She laughed deviously. “You can’t kinkshame me, I’m ace. Like I said, it was to punish people who went looking through my stuff.”

“Still, you spent your allowance on that… Futaba, that’s for things you need.”

“I needed mpreg Freddy Fazbear art. Besides, Akira is the one dating the boy who drew this. Akira’s a furry.”

Akira threw his hands up in exasperation. Classic gremlin. “I am not a furry, it was a joke. Don’t drag me into your weird gross animatronic shit.”

“Maybe not a furry but I have a lot more I can shame you for.”

“Hey Futaba?”


“Shut up.”


Sojiro pinched the bridge of his nose. “Okay, I don’t want to know. We’re stopping this conversation.” He shook his head. “Damn, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at that kid the same way… Akira, please tell your… boyfriend, apparently, to stop drawing weird stuff like that.”

The careless use of the word “boyfriend” was a bit of a shock. Then again, Sojiro never really seemed to care much. As long as no one was dead, dying or arrested, he didn’t seem to care what Akira was doing or who he was seeing. He shrugged once more. “If it means anything, Yusuke regrets it more than the rest of us.”

“ ...Right.”


October 30th 2017

11:10 pm


Bible Study


Joker: So…. Sojiro found Futaba’s calling card. He knows we’re Phantom Thieves.

Skull: for real?!

Skull: dude y did u keep it

Oracle: it was a memoir

Oracle: dont yell at me

Joker: Yeah lay off that… There was a lot of yelling, and scolding, and some tears… It’s been a long night.

Fox: Futaba, are you okay?

Oracle: ill be fine

Oracle: just tired

Oracle: also he found the mpreg freddy fazbear


Fox: Please tell me you’re joking.

Oracle: nope

Joker: She’s not. I wish she was, but she’s not. I saw the drawing with my own eyes and wish I hadn’t.

Joker: Yusuke why the fuck did you draw that.

Fox: I am a broke artist. I needed the money.

Joker: Honey what the fuck surely you could have drawn something less cursed.

Crow: I’m sorry the what now?

Oracle: inari drew me pregnant freddy fazbear art

Crow: I have several questions.

Fox: Before you say a word, no it is not a fetish, it was a commission during a really stressful time. Futaba needed a distraction, I needed money, it was a decent outcome for the both of us. At least it was until Ryuji saw me drawing it, and between him and Futaba neither of them could stop talking about it and now the entire group is convinced that I’m a furry.

Skull: we already thought u were a furry dude

Fox: Ryuji stop talking.

Panther: hey uh… sorry to bring down the mood like this again but

Panther: sojiro isn’t the only one who knows we’re phantom thieves

Panther: well… specifically she knows i’m a phantom thief

Joker: Ann what happened.

Panther: ...shiho knows

Joker: Ann what the fuck how did she find out.

Panther: she’s observant. i don’t know how she found out, but she did. she confronted me about it today and i couldn’t lie to her.

Panther: she doesn’t think we’re murderers if it means anything. she’s fully on our side and won’t say a word to anyone.

Crow: Aside from you, who else does she know that’s a Phantom Thief.

Panther: well… she figured out that ryuji and akira were also phantom thieves, and then asked me who the rest were. i didn’t give her everyone’s name but i said madarame’s ex pupil (sorry yusuke), the student council president, and okumura’s daughter. i left out futaba and morgana and you, akechi.

Panther: i’m sorry guys

Skull: dude for real...

Joker: No, it’s okay. I trust Shiho.

Joker: We’ve only spoken a couple times but I would trust her with my life if it came down to it.

Joker: Ann, be careful. Do not explain to her the Metaverse or how we go about stealing a heart, don’t tell her about cognitive psience or how we all became Phantom Thieves, why the calling cards are necessary, don’t tell her about treasure and palaces, and most of all do not tell her about our Personas. Got it?

Panther: i know i know, i won’t.

Panther: but… she really wants to see me in my panther outfit

Crow: How does she know about that?

Panther: i mentioned that we all have special outfits and mine is a latex body suit…

Panther: she knows i hate the outfit but wants to see it anyway

Panther: hey, yusuke? if i agreed to model for you could you draw me as panther?

Fox: I don’t see why not.

Panther: thank you!!

Joker: Sigh…

Joker: Alright, well let’s just do what we can about Sae first. We’ll worry about Shiho and Panther drawings later.

Chapter Text

October 31st 2017

6:09 am


Bible Study


Joker: Happy fucking halloween thots and Yusuke


Queen: Akira it is six in the morning. Please wait until at least after school before you start doing that.

Joker: Sorry Makoto but it’s fucking halloween.

Joker: Break back out the punishment cop outfit you dressed me in because I am going on a trip to Shinjuku tonight fuck yeah.

Crow: Oh? Aren’t we going into the palace today? We only have so much time, you know.


Joker: Fuck you’re right.

Joker: Fine palace today. I’m still going to shove a jack-o-lantern up my ass.

Queen: Akira.

Oracle: hell yes

Oracle: shove that goddamn jack-o-lantern up your ass and light the fucking candles

Joker: See? Futaba gets it.

Crow: Kurusu I would advise against doing that.

Queen: Akira please try to take this seriously. We only have so much time.

Joker: You guys are no fun.

Joker: @Fox I’m going to shove a pumpkin up my ass.

Fox: Why do you feel the need to tell me this?

Joker: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Fox: I didn’t need to know that.

Joker: (✿ ♥‿♥)


Joker: :(

Oracle: pffft rip in pieces akira joker kurusu

Joker: :’(


October 31st 2017

6:40 am


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: (✿ ♥‿♥)

AK: !!!!

AK: <3

YK: No.

AK: :(


YK: … <3

AK: !!!!!! <33

AK: (~˘▾˘)~

YK: Okay, no.

AK: Fine.

AK: I’ll get you to do use emojis one day ★~(◡△◕✿)

YK: Maybe one day.


October 31st 2017

9:17 pm


Bible Study


Panther: hey uhh joker are you ok?

Joker: Of :) course :) I’m :) okay :) why :) wouldn’t :) I :) be :))

Noir: It’s okay akira-kun, it was a simple mistake

Joker: It’s like Kaneshiro but somehow more idiotic and obvious I’m going to pitch myself off the roof.

Panther: akira really it’s fine this shit happens sometimes

Joker: Ann. The door was right there.

Joker: Right fucking there.

Joker: We ran past it like twelve times.

Joker: Akechi had to point out to me that maybe we should go through the door. You know, the one fucking door we had yet to open.

Joker: Those big ass glittering ass colorful double doors that are about twice the size of Leblanc’s attic. Those fucking doors.

Joker: Somehow my dumbass didn’t notice the goddamn obvious doors right at the end of the hallway.

Joker: Palace cancelled, the casino is no longer actually kind of cool.

Panther: no palace not cancelled

Noir: Akira-kun, it’s okay, really. Mistakes happen. We still have a job to do, yeah? We shouldn’t let this hold us back.

Panther: at least it didn’t take us this long to figure it out. an hour and a half is a major improvement from two days.

Joker: Thanks. You really have a way with words Ann. That makes me feel so much better.

Panther: ok you want to not be an asshole we’re not the ones who couldn’t figure out how to go through a door

Noir: At least now we can move on with the palace!

Joker: That’s true…

Joker: Haru has anyone ever told you that you’re an actual ray of sunshine?

Joker: Because you are. You really are.

Panther: seriously

Noir: Haha, thank you! <3

Joker: In other news, how’s Makoto?

Noir: Mako-chan is doing well! I think the palace may be stressing her out a bit, not that anyone can really blame her, but she’s managing. She’s really strong isn’t she.

Joker: Yeah, she really is.

Panther: makoto is amazing

Joker: Haru so are you guys dating or?

Noir: Something like that. It’s complicated right now but hopefully when things become a little less messy we can properly figure it out.

Joker: Ah, the weird in between “what are we” phase. I know that phase.

Panther: yeah because you were stuck there for at least a month because neither one of you would approach the issue

Joker: Ann shut. You and Shiho were there at one point.

Panther: wrong. i got over myself and asked her out directly. we skipped that phase.

Joker: That’s gay.

Panther: you’re gay

Joker: No u

Panther: no u

Joker: no-u.png

Panther: well damn guess i am gay

Joker: finger-guns-kiddo.jpg

Noir: I suppose we’re at that phase. It’s ok though eventually we’ll figure things out, but for now we have a lot to deal with.

Joker: Take your time. You guys do whatever you need and we’ll be here to support you.

Panther: exactly. it’s your relationship so you can take it in whatever direction you want. we’re your friends and we’ll still be here for support.

Noir: Thank you both!

Joker: Hey is Makoto still mad at me from the school festival?

Panther: what happened at the school festival akira?

Noir: I don’t know. She hasn’t said anything so i would assume not. You can understand why she would be mad though, right?

Joker: Yeah I get it. Maybe it was a little out of line but it changed the subject didn’t it?

Noir: That is true. It did get us out of trouble, as well as other things. You helped us out a lot akira-kun, and i appreciate what you did, even if at the time i was fairly flustered.

Joker: I was just trying to help out a bit. Sorry for putting you on the spot like that but it had to be done.

Panther: seriously what happened at the festival?

Joker: You know the post festival party shit? I went to that with Haru and Makoto and they picked Haru for that happy share time bs.

Joker: They asked her about the Phantom Thieves so to change the subject I asked Haru if she was single and that “my friend” (Makoto) really liked her.

Joker: Makoto threatened to yeet a chair at me, her and Haru abandoned me to get coffee and I got to walk home alone. It was fun though.

Joker: Hope you guys had fun on your coffee adventure. Either way, my job was done. I don’t appreciate third wheeling.

Panther: akira literally all ryuji and i have been doing since summer is third wheel around you and yusuke my god you have no room to talk

Joker: Shush.

Noir: I apologize if we made you uncomfortable akira-kun!

Joker: Not uncomfortable. Just on the verge of exploding.

Joker: If I had to see one more lovesick glance or hear one more longing sigh I was going to lock the two of you in a fucking closet.

Panther: akira you really have no room to talk when it comes to pining you’re an absolute disaster

Joker: We don’t talk about that Ann.

Panther: uh yes we absolutely do talk about that you’re a bi disaster who is completely whipped for yusuke kitagawa

Joker: shhhhhhuut.png


November 1st 2017

8:14 am


Akira Kurusu → Yusuke Kitagawa


AK: Hey

AK: I miss you.

YK: You just saw me yesterday, and we’re meeting after school again today.

AK: Well, yeah, but these palace explorations are different.

AK: I see you but I don’t really get to see you, you know?

AK: I know you’re there but so isn’t the rest of the team, and we have other things we have to prioritize.

AK: I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with you lately, and I miss you.

YK: Well, there’s still time before classes start for the day, so for now hopefully this will do.

YK: Perhaps at some point, if we just so happen to stumble across a safe room in the palace we might be able to take a few moments for ourselves.

AK: Are you suggesting we make out in a safe room.

YK: I wouldn’t use those words specifically.

AK: Okay let me rephrase:

AK: Are you suggesting that Akira and Yusuke, not Joker and Fox but actually us, take a few moments to be ultra gay in the safe rooms of Sae’s palace.

YK: You said it, not me.


AK: You realize if Makoto catches us she is going to beat the ever loving shit out of me right? She’s still a little salty about the whole “Shadow Sae” thing, so last thing she really needs is to catch me corrupting the pretty artist boy in a room inside her sister’s heart.

YK: What Makoto doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

AK: You’re right. I’m down.

AK: Well, other than that, how’s Kosei?

YK: The only two people I choose to actively talk to outside the Phantom Thieves are not here, and I’ve nearly filled up my sketchbook.

AK: Yikes that sucks. Where are they?

YK: Togo-san said she was out sick, so she has a valid excuse. As for Makigami-san, I have no idea where he currently is.

AK: “Makigami-san?”

YK: Naoya Makigami. You remember that one Mementos request we got, about someone who was physically abusing his brother?

AK: Yeah, I think so. Kazuya, right?

YK: Yes. Remember how Kazuya’s shadow asked us to give something to his brother?

AK: Yep. You were the one to give it to the brother. He goes to Kosei, yeah?

YK: Mhm. Makigami-san is the younger brother of Kazuya Makigami. After that whole incident with his brother, we began talking more. I guess I could consider him somewhat of a friend.

AK: How’s he doing? Physical abuse isn’t an easy thing to cope with after all is said and done.

YK: He’s doing alright. He doesn’t like talking about it, and I see no reason to ask him questions about it. For the most part, he seems to be trying his best.

AK: That’s good, I think. If he needed help, he would reach out for it, right? That’s why he turned to the phan-site, isn’t it?

YK: I believe so.

YK: Somehow my day has just instantly gotten worse.

AK: What?! What happened??

YK: I just spotted Akechi walking past the courtyard.

YK: I wasn’t even aware he went to school here.

AK: Pffft oh my god.

AK: Sorry it’s not funny.

AK: Maybe a little funny.

AK: Did he say anything to you?

YK: Nothing particularly interesting. He just said “good morning” and continued with his business. He looked as if he wanted to say more, though.

AK: That’s strange…

AK: Goro Akechi, apparently goes to the same school as my boyfriend. Should I be worried?

YK: No. God no.

YK: My tastes might be questionable, but it’s not that questionable.

YK: Besides, he’s a year ahead of me. It’s not very likely I’ll encounter him during class time.

AK: I’ll fight him.

YK: Akira it’s fine. You don’t have to fight him.

AK: Tell him to square up.

YK: He hasn’t done anything just yet, you can calm down.

AK: (ง'̀-'́)ง

YK: You don’t have to fight him right now.

AK: Tell him to meet me behind Big Bang Burger for a 1v1 knife fight (ง'̀-'́)ง

YK: Akira.

AK: I’ll take care of Akechi and then we can go to some high class restaurant.

AK: Well… “high class” meaning uhh. Fast food. We can get some food from Big Bang Burger. I just spent a shit ton of money on weapons for us so we’re going to have to wait until my next paycheck until we can go to the goddamn Wilton Buffet.

YK: That’s really not necessary.

AK: Only the best for my babe <3

AK: Best, that I can actually afford. Weapons aren’t cheap.

YK: We could always try to help out with the weapons.

AK: Yusuke honey you are literally always broke. If you did that you wouldn’t have a full weapon nor would you have any food.

AK: Besides, it’s my job to keep on top of things like weapons and healing supplies.

AK: Anyways, not the point. Point is, I’m going to throw down with Goro Akechi.

YK: Akira, Akechi has not done any wrong that we don’t know of. All he did was greet me. It’s not the end of the world.

AK: Fine, I won’t fight him.

AK: At the very least let me buy you food?

AK: After the palace tonight we can stop by Big Bang Burger or some shit, get some food and just hang out?

YK: You really don’t have to buy me any food but I suppose I can’t stop you.

AK: Hell yes.

AK: Fast food date after palace exploration.


November 2nd 2017

10:10 pm


Talk Shit Get Hit


Oracle: goro-akechi.mp3

Joker: Well… now we know what we need to plan around.

Panther: what the hell?!



Queen: That is.. Disturbing.

Noir: He almost doesn’t sound human…

Joker: This is what we need to avoid. You see why we bugged Akechi’s phone now?

Queen: Yes but how to we go about this?

Joker: Futaba, Morgana and I have been talking but so far we don’t have an exact plan. We should all meet at the hideout and talk about it.

Joker: Obviously we’re going to have to plan accordingly, and we can’t let him know that we know what he’s going to do.

Noir: So... plan around a plan?

Joker: Exactly.

Panther: this is so messed up

Oracle: no shit

Skull: wat the hell is wrong with akechi y cant he see that were not wrong

Queen: Something about that phone conversation is unsettling…

Joker: You mean besides the fact that he’s talking about killing me?

Queen: Well, that, and… Who is he talking to? Is someone else pulling the strings here, or has it been Akechi all along.

Joker: It’s hard to say. We can confirm that at the very least it’s not just Akechi. However it’s unknown whether he’s the mastermind behind everything or if he’s just being controlled by someone else. Or maybe he’s had a partner to all of this.

Oracle: either way we cant let him kill joker

Oracle: ill keep listening to see if i can find anything else but for now this is all we got

Fox: In short, Akechi plans to betray us and then murder our leader, and somehow we’re supposed to stop him from doing so?

Joker: Yup.

Queen: You’re awfully calm about this, Akira.

Joker: I mean… screaming and crying isn’t going to help solve shit so might as well stay calm, you know?

Joker: Either way, we need to figure this shit out. Tomorrow how about we all meet for discussion?

Queen: Before or after palace exploration?

Joker: After. That way we’ll have more time.

Queen: Understood.


November 2nd 2017

10:16 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: I take back what I said.

YK: Feel free to fight Akechi behind Big Bang Burger.

YK: On second thought, let me do it.

AK: sakjfhdkjg

AK: Sorry that’s not funny.

AK: If I could I would let you beat the shit out of him behind Big Bang Burger, but unfortunately I can’t do that. We need him to think we’re on his side.

YK: I’m aware of that.

AK: You’re thinking about what bullshit it all is too?

YK: Yes.

AK: Can’t argue with you there… It really is bullshit, but if we don’t act then I could uhhh die.

YK: Please don’t make jokes about that. We’re all aware you could and very well might die if we don’t do something, but what can we do?

AK: Right. Sorry, too soon.

AK: We’ll figure something out, okay? We’ve been in tough situations before and always manage to come out of them.

AK: Remember Medjed? That was one of the most stressful times of our lives but we still made it through, didn’t we?

AK: Well, “Medjed.”

YK: During the time with Medjed we didn’t know what to do until Futaba contacted us. Before that, we were all panicking and had she not contacted us when she did we would have been unable to actually deal with them.

YK: Not to mention, none of us were going to wind up dead.

AK: We might not have been dead, but there was the threat of “the Cleanse.” We never did figure out what that meant…

YK: Does it matter?

AK: I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.

AK: Point is, we’ve been in shitty situations before, we can manage this.

YK: Are you seriously not worried about this in the slightest?

AK: No. Obviously I’m worried, yeah, but we’ll figure it out. We always figure something out.

YK: How do you know we’ll get through this? There’s so much we don’t know, so many things that could go wrong, worst case scenario you die.

AK: Aren’t you usually the one who’s telling everyone else to calm down in these types of situations? Kind of funny that you’re the one freaking out, isn’t it?

YK: In those other situations, my boyfriend wasn’t about to die. Forgive me for being a little on edge, but I just found out a murderous psychopath tends to kill my boyfriend and make his death look like a suicide.

AK: I get it. I know, it’s stressful, but we have time, don’t we? It’s not happening for another few weeks. Futaba is trying to gather all the information she can, not to mention we have some stuff we can work with. We can get through this.

AK: … I can see you’re online. Respond to me.

YK: I have no idea what else to say to you right now.

AK: It’s all bullshit, huh. Emotional bullshit, physical bullshit, more of life’s bullshit…

AK: It’s bullshit but so isn’t reality. The situation sucks but what can we really do except try to work around it.


November 3rd 2017

12:40 pm


Bible Study


Panther: ryujigoddammit.img


Crow: Shouldn’t one of you help him?

Panther: wait there’s more

Panther: vending-machine.img

Panther: akira-ryuji.img

Fox: What is happening over there…

Joker: Ryuji got his arm stuck in a vending machine this is the best moment of my life

Skull: some1 tell thes asshikes ri stop taki g pictures nd help me

Oracle: wow didnt think your spelling could get any worse ryuji

Skull: tyoing 1 hsnded other is in vrnding machine

Noir: Where are you right now? I’ll try to go down there and help you ryuji-kun.

Panther: first floor class building, end of the hallway right by the entrance to the courtyard

Noir: I’ll be down in a moment

Panther: you guys want a picture of akira mocking ryuji

Oracle: UH YES

Fox: Why not.

Crow: That doesn’t seem appropriate given the situation.

Oracle: shut up bottom its funny

Crow: Excuse me?


Oracle: :3c

Panther: akirano.img

Fox: Ryuji how did you even manage to get your arm stuck in a vending machine?

Skull: i paid 4 my soda nd i better damn well get it

Skull: the machube wouldnt give it to me o i took matters into my own hands

Fox: And… got your arm stuck.

Skull: ye

Oracle: ooo minimal typos this time

Panther: update: haru is down here now. she’s trying to help ryuji pull his arm out without hurting him.

Queen: I’m sorry but would someone care to explain to me exactly what is going on?

Joker: OH SHIT

Panther: oh shit

Skull: o shit

Oracle: you all done fucked up

Joker: Uhhh hey Makoto everything is fine don’t worry about it.

Panther: haha everything is sooo okay makoto don’t even worry about it

Joker: We have it all under control.

Queen: I can read, you know.

Joker: Abort mission abort mission.

Queen: The three of you are so irresponsible. This includes you too, Ryuji.

Skull: wat did i do tf

Queen: Why would you ever believe it is a good idea to stick your arm inside a vending machine. Don’t you know how dangerous that is? In the event the machine doesn’t give you the item you purchased you ask for help.

Queen: As for you, Akira and Ann, I am severely disappointed in the both of you.

Queen: Actually I’m beyond disappointed. I’m furious with you two.

Queen: During an event like this, how about instead of taking pictures and laughing at your friend’s expense you help him. His arm is stuck in a vending machine, so help him. Taking pictures and mocking him isn’t going to solve any problems.

Joker: ...Sorry Makoto.

Panther: sorry makoto…

Oracle: oof rip

Oracle: cant believe ann and akira just got fucking destroyed by makoto niijima

Skull: so can i hqve help getting mt arm out if here

Queen: I’m coming down there.

Skull: thanks

Chapter Text

November 5th 2017

11:18 pm


Talk Shit Get Hit


Queen: Okay everyone, so we know the plan?

Joker: (☞゚ヮ゚)☞

Fox: Akira you really have been spending too much time around Futaba.

Oracle: yea even i have to admit it

Queen: Focus.

Joker: Yeah yeah. We know the plan.

Panther: are you sure it will work?

Noir: So much could go wrong though…

Skull: i dont like this plan

Fox: I have to agree with Ryuji.

Joker: It’s not like we can come up with any other ideas…

Panther: i’m sure we can think of something else right?

Fox: There’s so many places that could result in several different outcomes. How can you be sure that this will work?

Oracle: its very risky

Noir: Should we go over the plan one more time?

Joker: Yes. Alright guys, what do we do first?

Panther: first we need to enter the palace without akechi and plant a fake item to be used as the treasure

Oracle: a briefcase

Queen: While this is happening, a group of us need to make sure Cognitive Akechi is out of the way.

Joker: Right. Panther, Noir and Oracle, what’s your job?

Noir: Panther and i are tasked with locating and lowering cognitive akechi to fox and queen

Oracle: im supposed to locate and watch over ann and haru to make sure they find cognitive akechi and that hes actively following them

Oracle: i also need to signal to queen and fox when cognitive akechi is approaching

Panther: it’s almost like our heist from madarame’s palace, isn’t it?

Fox: I was thinking the same thing.

Oracle: cognitive akechi is such a bitch tbfh

Panther: well… you have a point

Queen: It makes sense that sis would see Akechi that way, but…

Queen: Anyways, Yusuke and I are then going to have to ambush and lock Cognitive Akechi in a closet so that he is out of the way. If sis or, God forbid, actual Akechi were to come face to face with Cognitive Akechi then that would completely destroy our plan.

Joker: Exactly. Skull, Mona and I are to place the fake treasure elsewhere for Skull and Fox to retrieve later.

Joker: Okay, so later we enter the palace with Akechi, we fight Shadow Sae, and then we go to retrieve her treasure. It’s around this point that Akechi will have unknowingly lead police officers into the palace and I get arrested. How’s this part going to work.

Fox: Ryuji and I will retrieve the fake treasure, and then we split up. One of us will hand the briefcase to you to distract the police officers while the rest of us escape.

Joker: Hell yes. Now time for the fun part.

Fox: I wouldn’t refer to this part as “fun.”

Joker: Mmmaybe so.

Joker: I get arrested, they take me to an underground room for interrogation, all while in the Metaverse still, Sae interrogates me, I make sure she takes my phone and shows it to Akechi and then Futaba… what do you do?

Oracle: heheheh >:3c i get to manipulate sae niijima into joining the dark side

Joker: Not quite but good enough.

Joker: Akechi unknowingly enters the Metaverse, he shoots the cognitive version of me, and I get off scot free. It’s foolproof.

Queen: I wouldn’t call it “foolproof” but it’s the best we have right now…

Panther: still it’s incredibly risky. are we really going to go through with this?

Joker: We don’t have a choice.

Joker: All of this is going down November 19th. We have just over two weeks.

Fox: I don’t like this…

Joker Neither do the rest of us but it’s really all we got.

Fox: How can you be sure Sae will be able to show Akechi your phone?

Joker: I can be very convincing when need be.

Oracle: akira were going to be relying heavily on you for the last part of the plan

Oracle: are you sure you can do it

Joker: I can’t be completely positive but I can damn well try. Besides, I’ve been arrested once already. It wasn’t that bad. Even got a sweet ass knife, team of criminals  and adorable boyfriend out of it. How bad can interrogation be?

Queen: It’s late. Everyone should try to get some rest. We have school in the morning.

Joker: Yes Morgana.

Queen: Goodnight, everyone.

Joker: Night Makoto.

Skull: gn makoto

Panther: goodnight!


November 6th 2017

9:02 pm


Bible Study


Joker: Hey uh can we talk about that goddamn arena battle because fuck what a ride that was.

Oracle: that was so cool!!!

Oracle: you had to go up against several enemies much stronger than you

Oracle: and you just went woosh and fwaaa

Oracle: those guys didnt stand a chance

Oracle: youre so op akira

Joker: That was so fun holy hell. I hardly remember what happened, all I know is I felt this strange rush of adrenaline or something. It’s like…

Joker: Like that first fight after awakening to your persona.

Joker: Wait.

Oracle: my awakening wasnt like anyone elses >:(

Joker: Right. You didn’t have to rip your fucking face off.

Oracle: (☞゚∀゚)☞

Fox: I must say, the arena fight was very inspiring. Witnessing you in battle is always an experience, Akira.

Oracle: inari thats gay

Joker: No it’s art please keep talking.

Oracle: no

Crow: He’s right. I’ve never seen anything quite like it, Akira.

Crow: You are truly amazing.

Joker: Thanks. You’re not too bad yourself.

Joker: If the circumstances were different, you’d be an amazing permanent asset to the team.

Crow: Maybe so, but we do have a deal. Remember?

Joker: I couldn’t forget even if I wanted to.


Oracle: >:\


November 7th 2017

10:12 pm


A lot of shitty things  had happened since Yusuke had joined the Phantom Thieves. They had nearly started a cyber war with a fake anonymous hacker group, Makoto was almost sold as a sex slave, they had all almost been expelled or arrested several times, and even had been accused of murder.

But the worst thing, in Yusuke’s opinion, was the blackmail and infiltration that had come from Goro Akechi.

To say Yusuke hated Akechi was an understatement. At one point, maybe he would have considered Akechi somewhat of a friend. He was pleasant, friendly, easy to carry a conversation with, not to mention incredibly skilled in battle. Perhaps, in different circumstances, they could have gotten along. Given the fact that Akechi was plotting the death of Akira, and that wasn’t even mentioning the blackmail that got them into this situation to begin with, it was safe to say that Yusuke didn’t appreciate Akechi very much.

They had successfully secured a route to the treasure. Akechi had suggested they wait until last minute before sending the calling card for some ungodly reason. He had given some half assed bullshit excuse that apparently made some sort of sense, but Yusuke hadn’t been listening in the slightest. These days, it seemed any time Akechi opened his mouth all Yusuke could hear was a loud ringing and a constant headache that faded in and out.

Akira had proposed everyone hang around Leblanc for a few hours to relax, almost as a celebration party. Except this one was not quite as elaborate, or cheerful as usual. Yusuke couldn’t help but wonder if it would be the last celebration party they ever had with the entire team.

Akechi sat in one booth with Akira on the other side of him. Two cups of coffee were located on the table in front of them. Akechi laughed at something Akira had said, and suddenly all Yusuke could see was red.

A knife twisted in Yusuke’s heart every single time Akechi reached over to tap Akira’s hand gently, or every time Akechi made some playful side remark that was intended to be friendly, but even a blind man could see that it not just friendly banter. All of Crow’s cries of “Joker” in battle and the way he would turn to Joker for approval made Yusuke sick to his stomach.

The others were strewn throughout Leblanc, all immersed  in their own conversations. Futaba and Ryuji were seated across from each other in the booth behind them, both of them holding a Nintendo DS and making side comments towards each other. Makoto, Ann, and Morgana were stood in front of the bar. Makoto crossed her legs elegantly and nursed a coffee cup, while Ann openly talked about God knew what. Most likely Shiho. Morgana listened intently.

Somehow, Yusuke found himself third wheeling in a conversation between Akira, his boyfriend Yusuke reminded himself, and Goro Akechi, the team traitor. The sound of Akechi’s voice made Yusuke want to run him through with his katana. Yusuke prided himself on having a lot of self control. Typically, he was the one to remain calm in dire situations (and they managed to get caught in a lot of dire situations), he was patient and knew how to bide his time accordingly. Akechi, however, managed to get on every one of Yusuke’s nerves. It took every ounce of self control to stop himself from decking Akechi square in the jaw.

Yusuke balled his hands into fists. Akechi offered Akira a polite smile and molten anger of bright green and crimson red swirled within Yusuke. Mentally everything screamed in agony. His nails harshly dug into the soft flesh of his palms.

He had to get out of there. Sticking around any longer would result in an outburst that Yusuke would much rather avoid. Besides, Akechi still thought they trusted him. Yusuke couldn’t let it slip that he knew what Akechi was plotting.

Yusuke slid out of the booth and stood to make his way towards the door.

“Huh? Where are you going?” Akira grabbed Yusuke’s wrist gently. His touch burned Yusuke’s skin.

Yusuke tugged his hand away and muttered some bullshit excuse that he couldn’t completely process. Akira let his hand fall to the table, and Yusuke fled from the cafe.

The cold, unforgiving winter air bit at Yusuke’s exposed skin. His breath was visible upon exhale. Ann had once pointed out to him that sometimes his breath was visible in the Metaverse, even if it wasn’t cold. Then again, Ann wasn’t much better. It seemed sometimes she was able to exhale smoke and ash.

Something soft echoed against the biting wind. Soft, to the point where Yusuke almost thought he’d imagined it.

He stepped away from the stairs and examined his surroundings.

With her back pressed against the brick wall, Haru sat on the frozen ground with her head buried in her knees. Her shoulders shook roughly.


She jumped at the sound of her name. “O-oh, Yusuke-kun. My apologies.” She wiped at her eyes with the heel of her hand and stood abruptly. Her eyes were red, and puffy. Any makeup she had been wearing had been wiped away. Shadows of smeared mascara gathered under her eyelids.

Yusuke shook his head. Had she been crying…? “What are you doing out here?” He approached her gently, like approaching a startled animal. Any anger he had within him momentarily dispersed. Haru seemed more important. After all, she was his teammate. His real teammate. He’d like to think she was also his friend.

Haru fondled a lock of fluffy hair. “O-oh, um. Just needed some air.” She tried for a reassuring smile, but it turned into more of a wry twitch. The happiness didn’t meet her eyes.

“Are you okay?” He asked gently.

“Yes, I’m fine,” She averted his gaze. “Really. Everything is okay. Don’t worry about me.”

Silence fell between the two of them. If one were to drop a pin, they likely would have heard it.

She tried for another smile. Her bottom lip quivered.

Yusuke took another step towards her. Tears slipped down her face, and she quickly brushed  them away.

“I’m okay.” Her voice cracked.

Yusuke sighed, He wrapped an arm around her protectively. A piece of his heart chipped off.

Haru buried her face in his chest. She tensed under his grip and shook violently. Sobs ripped free from her throat, and her tears stained his white uniform shirt. He wrapped his other arm around her and traced small patterns in her back. Even Haru, it seemed, could only remain unbroken for so long.

Everyone had a breaking point. Just what had happened to where Haru discovered hers, Yusuke couldn’t be too sure. If anything, he was honestly impressed that she had kept her head up high for so long, after everything that she had been put through. She truly was amazing sometimes.

They remained like that for a while. Her breaths eventually evened out, and the shaking stopped. She moved her head away, pushing away one of his arms, and sat back down against the wall. He took a seat next to her.

Haru sniffled and scrubbed at her eyes once more. “My apologies. That was… unbecoming of me.” She spoke formally.

He shrugged. “Don’t apologize. You did nothing wrong.”

She rested her head against his shoulder. “I know, but, it still feels like I should apologize. You didn’t have to do that. You don’t have to sit with me if you don’t want to.”

“I’m aware that I don’t have to. Maybe I’m doing this because I care about you,” Yusuke said. “Is everything alright?”

“Well, not exactly,” She sighed. “Between the blackmail, and Akechi-kun betraying us, and everything with my father’s company… There’s just so much that requires my attention, and I…” Her voice cracked once more. She audibly swallowed. “There’s just so much going on and I don’t know how to deal with all of it. That and everything with Akechi, I,” She paused and took a few deep breaths. “I’m supposed to just sit here and let it all happen? I haven’t even had the proper time to mourn my father.  Everything is happening so quickly, all at once.”

Haru huddled closer to Yusuke.

She was, by no means, weak. Haru was fierce and brave and everything Yusuke wished he could have been when looking fear in the face. It seemed that everyone just so happened to need a shoulder to cry on sometimes, figuratively and literally. Yusuke may not have been able to comprehend the different emotions she was forced to face, but he could at least try to offer some support.

Haru took a few ragged breaths. “Sorry. You didn’t ask to hear about all my problems.” She plucked at some of the fuzzy fibers on her pink sweater.

“Nonsense. I may not be able to respond or offer sound advice, but I can at least listen. You can keep venting if you’d like.”

“...Thank you, Yusuke-kun,” Haru crossed her ankles delicately and lifted her legs to her chest. She sighed once more. “I think I said everything I had to say. It feels nice to finally get it all off my chest.” She once again tried for a smile, this one tired but genuine. Haru sniffled and giggled, exasperated. “You’re cold, Yusuke-kun.”

“Excuse me?” Yusuke raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Oh! Not cold as in rude or anything, but cold as in you’re physically cold. It’s no wonder you’re strong to ice.” She giggled once more, then let out a soft yawn. “My apologies. Last time I was this tired, I think, was when I awakened to my persona.”

Yusuke nodded in acknowledgment. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond to a situation like this.

“That’s enough about my problems though. What about you?” Haru looked up at him with large doe eyes. “You seem upset by something.”

“‘Upset’?” Yusuke tested out the word. “It’s not important.” Right. After all was said and done, he’d still have to deal with Akechi. He’d still have to face the facts that Goro Akechi was doing his damndest to cozy up to Akira Kurusu, all with the intent to eventually murder him in cold blood. Just thinking about it lit a match somewhere within Yusuke, a fire growing more and more intense with each passing moment. Yusuke wasn’t sure just how long he could keep it actively contained.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but you seemed really bothered by something earlier. That’s why you came out here, isn’t it?” Haru asked politely.

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk about it…

“It’s nothing,” Yusuke said. The words slipped off  his tongue, robotic and stiff.

Haru made a low hum noise. “It’s Akechi-kun, isn’t it.”

Apparently they were talking about it regardless.

“...How did you know?”

“It wasn’t difficult to guess. You’ve been the most vocal about your dislike for Akechi. I’ve noticed the way you look at him, almost like he’s a nuisance or an annoyance,” She spoke slowly, rattling off the various contributing pieces as if they were facts she had known all her life. “You’ve admitted your dislike of our, er, ‘plan’ several times. With everything Akechi is doing, and our retaliation, it only makes sense that you wouldn’t like it.” She tilted her head to the side like a confused dog. “Is everything okay?”

“You mean aside from the fact that in about fourteen days my boyfriend is going to be killed by a murderous traitor?” Yusuke’s words were drenched in sarcasm. “Everything is perfectly fine.”

Maybe the sarcasm was a bit uncalled for. If Haru took offense to it, she didn’t show it. Instead, she placed her hand on his arm in reassurance. “Akira-kun is strong. He’s been through a lot of situations and has always come out unscathed. If anyone can survive this, it’s him.”

“I know, it’s just,” Yusuke hesitated a moment in attempt to collect his thoughts. All of his emotions buzzed internally, colliding and clapping together with the momentum of a high speed car crash. Something dull ached in the back of his head. Soft crescent shapes were carved into his palms by his nails. He inhaled slowly in an attempt at self composition. “Akira is strong, but there’s so many unpredictable factors. I’m aware it’s the only chance we have, but there’s still so much out of our control. And Akechi,” He couldn’t help the disgusted grimace that crossed his face. “Akechi is the most vile part of all of this. He acts all high and mighty, like he is the pure embodiment of justice. He gets all close and friendly with Akira, acts like he is completely right, only to turn around and try to kill him later? Who does he think he is?”

Haru considered this. “It sounds like you’re jealous.”

“What reason do I have to be ‘jealous’ of Akechi.” Yusuke scoffed. That word had been used to describe him on multiple occasions, none of which he completely understood.

Ryuji had deemed Yusuke ‘jealous’ of Akira’s friend Mishima. Yusuke had only spoken to Mishima on a few separate occasions, never for very long, but everything about him completely clashed with everything about Yusuke. He may have been an avid Phantom Thief supporter, and the admin for the phan-site, but that didn’t mean Yusuke had to like him. Aside from his obnoxious personality, Yusuke disliked how close he was to Akira. Mishima had this tendency to get physically close to Akira, almost touching him. He was always so energetic to hear what Akira had to say and eager to impress him. All of it left a very sour taste in Yusuke’s mouth.

Akira had described Yusuke as ‘jealous’ after the incident with Shadow Sae. Upon first encounter with Sae Niijima’s shadow, collectively half the group had stopped. Ryuji had been clearly staring at her, practically drooling and tripping over himself, Ann had gone red in the face and had to avert her gaze, Haru had attempted to fan herself with her hand and avoid direct eye contact, and even Akechi hadn’t been able to look at her properly. Akira, on the other hand, had openly ogled her and even threw in a soft “fucking nice” under his breath. Yusuke had no problems with Akira admiring the beauty in others. There were at least nine million people on Tokyo alone, of course there’d be plenty of people to be considered “attractive” or “alluring.” Yusuke wasn’t sure what it was about that situation in particular that had rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was the fact that shadow Sae was just eating up all the attention, or that Akira had vocally expressed his interest in the way he did.

According to Haru, apparently, Yusuke was now ‘jealous’ of Akechi. Of all people to be ‘jealous’ of, apparently it was Akechi.

Haru shot Yusuke a sympathetic look. “You don’t necessarily need a reason to be jealous of someone. Maybe it’s the way Akechi-kun acts around Akira-kun. It seems to me that Akechi-kun is just trying to impressive him. He’s trying to get Akira-kun’s attention and find some form of reaction. He’s doing this to your significant other. If it were Mako-chan that Akechi-kun were trying to get close to, I know I would be jealous.” She fluffed the ends of her sweater.

Yusuke considered this a moment. Was ‘jealousy’ what that ugly, bitter green fury that he had been feeling when even in Akechi’s general vicinity since they first entered Sae’s palace? If that’s what it was, then why…?

“Perhaps I am feeling some form of ‘jealousy,’” The word was slimy. “Is there something I should do about it?”

“Talk to Akira-kun. He’ll understand. He cares about you a lot, you know.” Haru spoke the words as if they were the easiest thing in the world. Yusuke only wished it could be that easy.

Yusuke wasn’t sure how long the two of them remained outside. At some point, they had stopped talking about their problems and the conversation had become more domestic. Haru had talked about gardening a  bit, and how well the vegetables she had grown had come out. Yusuke talked a bit about his newest piece and how it was almost complete. Time passed, they still sat against the wall outside of Leblanc.

Eventually the door opened, and the others came outside, most likely leaving for the night. Makoto was the first to spot them.

“Haru? Yusuke? What are you doing out here?” She pulled her peacoat tighter around her body and shivered. “Are you two okay?”

Haru waved a hand. “We’re fine, Mako-chan. We just needed some air.” She moved Yusuke’s arm away from her and stood. “Is everyone going home?”

Ann pressed one hand to her hip and nodded. “Yeah. It’s getting pretty late and the trains are going to stop running soon.”

Yusuke stood and brushed himself off. He had hardly considered the time.

Haru turned to him. “Thank you for everything,” She said. “Goodnight everyone.” The last part was directed to the entire group. One by one, they all began to leave, until eventually it was just Futaba, Akira and Yusuke.

“Right, well, I’m going to go… inside. It’s freezing out here.” Futaba stammered awkwardly. Her gaze shifted from Akira to Yusuke. “So… have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” She waved her hands at them before bolting back into the cafe. What was that gremlin planning?

Akira rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “You and Haru were gone for a while.”

“We were just outside.” Yusuke shrugged. Part of him thought back on how close Akira and Akechi were getting. That part of him was almost surprised that Akira had noticed how long Yusuke had been gone. The other part knew better, and he mentally kicked himself for it. Emotions were disgusting, sometimes.

“I know. It was still a while though,” Akira took a step forward. “I missed you.” He reached for Yusuke’s hand, and Yusuke brushed Akira’s grip away.

Akechi’s pleasant smile was burned into Yusuke’s mind, almost taunting him. Yusuke tried to push the thought away.

Yusuke bit back a harsh comment. What came out, instead, was completely different. “I’m fine, Akira.”

Akira focused his gaze on Yusuke with an intensity that made him squirm. Sometimes Yusuke thought that look could kill someone. When Akira was serious, he was intimidating. Just his resting face was enough to stow fear in the hearts of many.

“...Something’s bothering you,” Akira observed. It wasn’t a question or an inquiry, but a fact. Just how he was able to tell after a few short words and a one sided staring contest, Yusuke didn’t know. There were many things about Akira that he didn’t think he’d ever be able to understand. There was silence for a moment, before Akira followed it up with “It’s Akechi, isn’t it?”

“What about Akechi?” Yusuke crossed his arms over his chest protectively.

“You tell me.” Akira’s gaze could bore holes into anyones soul. If he stared long enough, maybe he’d fine some of Yusuke’s darkest secrets, as well as where his heterosexuality had disappeared to.

Yusuke bit his bottom lip. For basically his entire life he had always been taught “honesty was the best policy.” Yet, somehow, when he had met the Phantom Thieves any sense of honesty he carried, Madarame carried, Akira and Ryuji and Ann had carried had gone directly out the window. Somehow, Yusuke had adjusted to the constant need to lie. Between lying about being a Phantom Thief, lying about his involvement with the Madarame case, lying about not knowing how the Phantom Thieves changed hearts, lying to Akechi’s face, lying about his own emotions, he had adjusted to it in ways that, less than a year ago, he would have thought deplorable. Then again, the Yusuke from back then was still a liar, he just wasn’t aware of it.

“I don’t like the way Akechi looks at you,” Yusuke finally admitted. The words practically burned. “I don’t like how he treats you, and how close he’s been getting to you.”

The corner of Akira’s mouth twitched into a cocky, Joker-like smirk. “You’re jealous of Akechi? That’s actually kind of adorable,” Akira snickered to himself. “You really are the jealous type.”

“It’s not funny.”

“I know it’s not funny, I’m just,” His smirk turned into a grin that he failed to hide behind his hand. “I’m flattered. You know that, no matter what, I would never go for Akechi, right? You’re the only one I have feelings for.”

Yusuke rolled his eyes. “I’m aware. That doesn’t change the fact that Akechi seems to think you’re his. Didn’t anyone tell him not to touch things that don’t belong to you?”

“Aww, honey, are you saying that I’m yours?” Akira cooed.

“Not exactly. You are your own person,” Akira tried to grab Yusuke’s hand again, and this time Yusuke didn’t bother stopping him. “In a way, though, I suppose the answer is yes. You're not 'mine', exactly, but you are 'my' partner. Does that make any sense?”

Akira pressed a soft kiss to Yusuke’s cheek, then the other one, until finally their lips met.

This kiss was different from the one at Destinyland. That kiss had been all sparks, and desire, testing each other’s boundaries. That kiss had been an experiment and the start and end of an incredible chapter.

This one was gentle, forgiving. It was full of reassurance. Akira’s thumb caressed Yusuke’s cheek. Yusuke’s heart fluttered with the same delicacy of a butterfly. After all this time, he hadn’t realized just how much he ached for Akira’s touch. Even now, it still surprised himself just how much he wanted him. It was a strange, yet curious sensation. Akira didn’t seem to mind too much.

Eventually, Akira drew away. “I might make jokes sometimes, but I promise you’re the only one for me. Okay?” His steel eyes were wide with certainty. “I don’t like Akechi that way. I will never like Akechi that way. As long as we’re together, I’ll never like anyone else that way. I l-” Akira stopped mid-sentence, before quickly backtracking. “...I care about you.”

Yusuke nodded once. He could be absolutely certain there was one thing he had that Akechi didn’t.

Akira drew Yusuke in for another kiss.

Yusuke had Akira Kurusu. Akechi did not.

Just how long Yusuke would have Akira, though, was unknown. It all depended on the plan.


November 8th 2017

12:43 pm


Bible Study


Oracle: yo akira

Oracle: we should make a playlist for mementos

Joker: We can’t use technology in the Metaverse.

Oracle: you might not be able to

Oracle: but i can

Oracle: if you guys pick the music i can play it from necronomicon

Joker: If we do that you’re just going to play Africa by Toto and Running in the 90s on repeat.

Oracle: nooo

Oracle: ok how about we all pick some songs and ill play them

Oracle: promise it wont just be my music

Joker: God I hope not. “Your music” just consists of the Windows XP startup sound earrape.

Oracle: >:(


Joker: Yeah I guess so.

Joker: How about we all pick 5 songs and send them to you, not telling you what they are, and you add them to a playlist for the Metaverse.

Oracle: done

Oracle: whens the next time were going to mementos >:3

Joker: I mean… Mishima did send me some requests we got. We can probably go tomorrow if you’re all available.

Oracle: yeet

Joker: @Everyone Mementos tomorrow. Each of you send 5 songs to Futaba so she can put them in a playlist for us.

Joker: Futaba make sure you mix them up and don’t put them strictly in the order in which we send them to you.

Oracle: (☞゚ヮ゚)☞

Panther: oh that sounds like fun! i have some songs i’d like to listen to in mementos!

Oracle: dm me the link

Skull: oh hell yes i got some great songs

Oracle: (☞ຈل͜ຈ)☞

Oracle: you know what to do

Noir: That sounds lovely! I have a few songs as well~

Oracle: (☞⌒▽⌒)☞

Oracle: send them to me haru

Noir: Of course~

Joker: Yeah, I think I have a few ideas.

Oracle: (☞ $ ل͜ $ )☞


November 9th 2017

11:18 pm


Bible Study


Queen: No more Mementos playlists. At least not before we see just what it is we’re listening to.

Queen: And Akira is no longer allowed to drive while we’re listening to a Mementos playlist.


Joker: Listen. It was all in good fun.

Panther: yusuke didn’t look too good after “last surprise”

Panther: which one of you even added that song?

Joker: Guilty.

Panther: of course it was you…

Skull: as fun as that was maybe next time u shouldnt floor it during the chorus

Queen: Akira you could have flipped the car over with how sharp those turns were.

Noir: Please be careful in the future, akira-kun.

Panther: which one of you thought “slob on my knob” was a good mementos song?!

Oracle: it was ryuji

Skull: dammit futaba dont out me lik tht

Oracle: learn to spell and then ill consider it >:3

Panther: why am i not surprised

Panther: ryuji do you actually listen to that song?

Skull: NO WTF

Noir: Don’t you like rap ryuji-kun?

Skull: yea i like rap but that song is just bad

Skull: i dont think i ever heard past the first part until today

Joker: Slob on my knob

Joker: Like corn on the cob

Skull: stop that

Joker: Check in with me.

Joker: And do your job.

Skull: dude for real

Joker: Lay on the bed.

Joker: And give me head.

Joker: Don’t have to ask.

Joker: Don’t have to beg.

Skull: do u actually like that song dude

Joker: No.

Joker: Juicy is my name.

Joker: Sex is my game

Panther: akira

Joker: Fine fine I’ll stop.

Skull: for real tho which one of u chose hatsune miku

Oracle: the world is mine is a valid song

Oracle: dont make me 1v1 you in overwatch

Skull: was it ur song?

Oracle: no

Joker: Also guilty.

Skull: dude wtf

Joker: I thought it would be funny to randomly throw in a vocaloid song and it was the only one I could think of at the time.

Joker: Okay but Futaba goddammit I thought I made it clear that I never wanted to hear that goddamn cow song ever again.

Oracle: >:3c

Oracle: hand slipped

Joker: You fucking gremlin.

Panther: which one of you added what’s new pussycat 10 times

Panther: we skipped it after maybe the 4th time

Joker: In all fairness “It’s Not Unusual” was also in there.

Joker: And one of them accidentally rickrolled us. I was not aware that it would do that.

Skull: it was u wasnt it

Joker: Mayhaps.

Noir: Maybe we should reveal which songs were ours?

Joker: Last Surprise was all me. I take pride in that one.

Panther: you almost killed your boyfriend

Joker: He was okay. Mostly.

Panther: he actually vomited when we got out of the car

Joker: That happens with motion sickness sometimes.

Queen: Akira, he then proceeded to lay on the floor for at least ten minutes. Don’t press all the way down on the gas pedal so suddenly.

Joker: It was all in good fun.

Oracle: i dont think ive ever seen inari so pale

Oracle: and he is really pale

Noir: I hope he’s okay.

Joker: He’s fine now. Motion sickness.

Joker: Usually after getting out of the moving object the nausea caused from the motion sickness subsides.

Oracle: fair

Joker: Okay but which one of you fuckers thought bass boosted crying was a good idea.

Panther: oh my god that was awful

Joker: That caught me so off guard. I would have rather fought the Reaper instead of listen to that shit again. That was awful.

Oracle: ryuji looked like he was about to piss himself he was just so scared by it



Queen: The “bass boosted crying” was a shock to all of us.

Panther: ryuji actually almost shocked me so yeah literally

Skull: sorry bout that

Skull: u almost burned me tho

Noir: Are you okay ann-chan?

Panther: yeah i’m fine

Oracle: >:3 heheheh

Joker: Jesus Christ of course it was you, gremlin.

Oracle: akechi was right next to me and he looked about ready to die

Oracle: he was just so startled

Oracle: he also screamed

Crow: I did not scream, I was merely taken aback by the sudden sound.

Oracle: sure jan

Queen: Okay no more bass boosted crying, no more Last Surprise, no more nearly killing Yusuke or Akechi, and no more letting Akira drive while listening to any Mementos playlists.

Oracle: >:(

Joker: Yes Mom.

Panther: can we just ban anything bass boosted? i did not need bass boosted “boom boom boom boom” or bass boosted all star in my life

Skull: bass boosted allstar was a blesisn

Joker: “Blesisn”

Panther: “blesisn”

Oracle: “blesisn”

Skull: SHUT

Joker: Also Haru no longer gets to pick songs. Haru I did not need “Bodies” or “Sleepwalking” today yet somehow here we are.

Joker: I thought I left my emo phase back in middle school do not remind me of that time of my life.

Noir: Not all of my choices were screamo~

Joker: What else did you pick?

Noir: I chose the spooky scary skeletons remix! That song is so cute and the video along with it is absolutely charming!

Joker: Okay, good pick. What else?

Noir: Toxic and dancing queen were also my choices.


Joker: Okay no more screamo songs. Or if there is screamo, then let us know in advance so I don’t nearly crash the car.

Noir: Will do!

Joker: Did you pick Dancing Queen because of Makoto?

Noir: Hmm mayhaps

Panther: DGFHJK

Skull: holy shit


Noir: Mayhaps ;)

Oracle: i am so proud

Joker: She’s learning...

Queen: Haru please…

Noir: <3

Joker: Collectively half the team just went “Hey Queen it’s you!” when Dancing Queen came on.

Panther: we know. we were there akira

Joker: >:(

Oracle: i didnt get songs from inari akechi mona or makoto

Oracle: the rest of you are sinners

Oracle: also you sent more than 5 songs akira

Joker: What’s New Pussycat is only one song though.

Oracle: not when its added 10 times

Joker: Whoops.

Chapter Text

November 10th 2017

7:18 pm


Haru Okumura → Makoto Niijima


HO: Hi mako-chan. Sorry to disturb you but i was wondering if i could get your opinion on something?

MN: Of course. Is everything okay?

HO: Oh, yes, everything is fine.

HO: I just need your opinion on some pictures if it’s not too much trouble.

MN: I can do that. Send them whenever you’re ready.

HO: Okay.

HO: im-letting-my-guinea-pig-pick-the-file-names.img

HO: V C.img

HO: g'5/vdxxxxxx.img

HO: well-said-piper.img

HO: Well??

MN: Those pictures are um

MN: Very nice.

MN: I don’t know what to say that could improve the pictures if that’s what you’re looking for.

HO: Oh no that’s not what i need. If you want to offer constructive criticism for future reference then that’d be okay too!

MN: I don’t know what kind of constructive criticism to give. They look fine the way they are.

MN: Um… are they intended for someone?

HO: No. I’m not a model like ann-chan so i just wanted to know if these were any good.

MN: I see

MN: I think they’re perfect the way they are

MN: But why ask for my opinion?

HO: Because i value your opinion and want to hear what you have to say!

MN: That’s so sweet. Thank you, Haru.

HO: <3


November 10th 2017

7:20 pm


Makoto Niijima → Ann Takamaki


MN: Ann, I have a question.

MN: If you don’t mind, of course.

AT: are akira and ryuji t-posing at mishima again?

MN: Not that I know of.

AT: are their personas t-posing?

MN: I don’t believe so, but you never know with those two.

AT: it would be interesting seeing a t-posing boat. i’m surprised ryuji hasn’t already done that.

AT: is futaba t-posing?

MN: I hope not.

AT: is yusuke vandalizing public property “for art”?

MN: He better not be.

AT: ok

AT: so if it’s not t-posing or vandalization, what’s up? what’s your question?

MN: Um… Sorry, it’s a little embarrassing.

AT: you don’t have to apologize for that

AT: whatever it is i won’t judge you for it. we still have akira on the team and one of his personas is an actual screaming dick. can’t get any worse than that right?

MN: Well, that’s true…

MN: Okay so.

MN: Is it... gay when a girl sends you pictures of herself in just her undergarments and asks for your opinion on them?

MN: Does it mean something or am I just overthinking it?

AT: you mean like

AT: her bra and panties?

MN: Yes, that.

AT: it really depends on which girl. sometimes a girl might want advice on it to send to her boyfriend or something, and depending on the relationship you have with this girl it could either be purely platonic or she’s flirting with you.

MN: She said it wasn’t intended for anyone and she just wanted my opinion.

AT: can i ask who this girl is?

MN: Um.

AT: do i know her?

MN: Yes.

MN: It’s Haru.


AT: makoto you useless lesbian

MN: I thought you said you wouldn’t judge me?

AT: that was before i knew that haru was sending you her nudes

AT: haru, the girl who you have already gone on a few dates with, and had her confess to you in front of the entire school. that haru, who very obviously has feelings for you

AT: yes makoto, it is very gay if your not-girlfriend sends you nudes

MN: She wasn’t completely naked…

AT: that still counts as a nude

AT: now go tell your girl she is incredibly attractive and send some titty pictures of your own

MN: Ann!

AT: or just tell her you love her

MN: Ann…

AT: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯


November 11th 2017

8:30 pm


Bible Study


Joker: gay.img

Joker: I blessed.

Oracle: did inari fall asleep on you

Joker: Yep.

Joker: I have been blessed.

Oracle: :\

Oracle: have fun not moving

Joker: My shoulder is already kind of sore but it is completely worth it.

Joker: Yusuke’s hair is… so soft. How much time do you think he spends on it?

Oracle: a lot

Oracle: trust me its a lot

Joker: How do you even know that?

Oracle: >:3

Joker: Do you have his phone tapped too?

Oracle: >;3

Joker: Of course you do.

Oracle: do you really think anyones hair could always be so perfect

Oracle: no

Oracle: its physically impossible

Joker: That makes… a lot of sense actually.

Joker: Hey uh. Was anyone else aware of the scar above Yusuke’s left eyebrow?

Oracle: wh

Oracle: no wh

Oracle: inari always has his hair in front of his fucking face

Oracle: seriously he has to push it out of his eyes like every 2 minutes

Joker: Okay that’s… true. It’s not directly in his face but it does usually cover that part of his eyebrow.

Oracle: akira

Oracle: its in his face

Oracle: he can almost pass as an emo kid

Oracle: if he lets his hair grow out more so that its black and blue he will look emo

Joker: No.

Oracle: dont deny it you thot

Joker: Shush.

Oracle: hey

Oracle: hey akira

Oracle: question for you

Joker: What is it you gremlin.

Oracle: would you still thirst after him if he had scene hair >:3


Oracle: your scene furry artist bf

Oracle: sounds like he would run an active myspace page

Joker: It’s time for you to stop talking.

Oracle: what do you have against scene kids

Joker: You are being stopped.

Joker: Besides, Yusuke actually gives a shit about aesthetics. He would never stoop so low...I hope.

Oracle: rawr xD

Joker: Not allowed.

Oracle: rawr x3

Joker: That’s illegal.

Oracle: Xx_furryfox_xX

Joker: Blocked.

Oracle: =^3^=

~ Joker has removed Oracle from the chat~

Joker: That’s banned.

~ Futaba Sakura has joined the chat~

~ Futaba Sakura has changed her name to Navi ~

Joker: Navi?

Joker: You mean like the annoying ass fairy thing from the Legend of Zelda?

Navi: >:(

Navi: no

Navi: short for navigator

Joker: Yeah uh

~ Joker has demoted Navi ~

~ Joker has changed Navi’s name to Oracle ~

Joker: You can’t randomly change your codename Futaba.

Oracle: >:(

Oracle: not with that attitude you cant >:(


November 12th 2017

1:02 pm


Bible Study



Fox: What is that.

Skull: pole dancing subway rat

Panther: ryuji has been watching rat videos all lunch period so far

Skull: one of these days im going to get a couple of rats i need to kno how to care for em

Panther: then why are you watching a rat pole dance

Skull: if 1 of my rats wants to pole dance i want to suport him

Panther: what if your rat is female

Skull: then i will  support her

Skull: they deserve the best

Joker: Can’t believe Ryuji’s a furry.

Skull: no wtf

Joker: rats.jpg


Joker: It’s a rat.

Skull: its an effn demon spawn is wat it is jfc


Fox: That is the most offensive thing I have ever seen.

Joker: Pff

Skull: is this gonna be another art rant

Panther: oh boy

Skull: yusuke stop typing

Skull: we can see u dont do it

Skull: yusuke stop

Joker: Let him rant.

Skull: in other news uh

Skull: banana.jpg

Skull: look at this lil dude

Skull: even got a harnass

Skull: budies.jpg

Panther: i feel like that’s just akira and ryuji’s bromance right there

Joker: They look like they’re doing that “king of the world” bullshit thing from Titanic. With Jack and Rose.

Joker: Ryuji if we ever somehow wind up on a boat together, promise me we can do the “king of the world” thing.

Skull: hell ya dude

Skull: whos the girl tho

Joker: You.

Skull: uh no

Joker: But you get to be king of the world.

Panther: you realize rose wasn’t in the “i’m king of the world” scene right?

Skull: wut

Panther: what happened was the crew found land and were steering the titanic to new york. one of the crew mates pointed out that they could see the statue of liberty, so jack stood at the end of the ship and yelled “i’m king of the world!”

Panther: the bit with rose came later

Panther: with rose, she said “i’m flying”



Joker: So am I king of the world?

Fox: I have no idea what is happening right now, and quite frankly I don’t know if I want an answer.

Panther: akira and ryuji are being idiots

Fox: So same as usual?

Panther: pretty much

Skull: HEY

Joker: That is so rude

Joker: And so unbelievably true wow.

Skull: wow rude


November 13th 2017

5:04 pm


Bible Study


Joker: Hey uh you guys want to stop drawing on my face when I’m in the velvet room?

Skull: the wut

Joker: ….When I do that thing where I just stare at a wall for long periods of time.

Skull: oh that

Skull: nah dude

Joker: I just walked into Leblanc with “Sojiro Sakura is a dilf” written across my goddamn face.

Skull: pfff

Joker: Which one of you fuckers did this.

Joker: I know it wasn’t Makoto because she would never stoop so low, wasn’t Akechi because his handwriting is very unique and this is not that writing, and it wasn’t Yusuke because he would have either drawn something really detailed, or written it neatly. I swear even his goddamn handwriting looks like a masterpiece.

Queen: I tried to talk them out of it.

Joker: Try harder please. Next time I find a dick on my face I’m going to scream.

Joker: I have never been more offended then when I found a really detailed dick on my face. Which one of you paid Yusuke and for how much.

Skull: that one was all futaba

Oracle: i paid him in ramen cups


Joker: Okay that’s acceptable.

Joker: But Yusuke why…

Fox: It seemed necessary.

Oracle: he got bored

Oracle: and your face is the perfect canvas


Joker: Was this one Ann? This looks like either Ann or Haru’s handwriting.

Joker: Ann I know you’re partially at fault here @Panther

Panther: what??? i would never do that!!!

Joker: Sure you wouldn’t you lying little bitch

Panther: wow ok rude

Panther: where is your proof?


Joker: Morgana just told me it was Futaba’s suggestion and Ann wrote it both of you are fucking gremlins.




Panther: that explains why you went for yusuke at least

Fox: No it doesn’t, I am physically cold at all times.

Panther: … damn ok

Joker: Futaba is actually on the floor she’s laughing so hard.

Panther: what did sojiro say in response to the drawings on your face?

Joker: Given that this happens more often then it should, he just told me to wash my face.

Joker: Stop drawing on my face you damn gremlins. This has been happening since Madarame’s palace for fucks sake.

Joker: How did that even happen?

Skull: r u really askin that

Panther: Akira…

Joker: I realized my error as soon as I sent the message.

Joker: ...God dammit Yusuke.

Fox: Ryuji just asked me for a marker, I was not the one who started drawing on your face.

Joker: No, you just let Ryuji draw a dick on my face.

Joker: This does explain why Akechi couldn’t look at me properly.

Panther: he wanted to tell you but we talked him out of it.

Joker: You’re all demons.

Joker: At least no one drew Shrek this time. Futaba… Ryuji…

Skull: wasnt enough room twinkechi took up the last space

Joker: “Twinkechi?”


Joker: Where the fuck is twinkechi.

Fox: Check under your bangs.

Joker: Okay very funny. Which one of you little monsters wrote “Akechi is a twink” on my forehead.

Joker: Nevermind, I can hear Futaba laughing from here. Of course it was her.

Joker: I hate all of you. Except for Haru, she’s innocent.

Panther: HA

Queen: Sigh…

Fox: Whatever you say, Akira.


Joker: What did Haru do…

Skull: who do u think drew the dick on ur neck

Joker: ...You?

Skull: nope try again


Joker: Nevermind, you’re all dead to me. Phantom Thieves are cancelled, now it’s just me and Morgana.

Queen: No, Phantom Thieves are not cancelled. Wait until after the palace.

Joker: >:(

Joker: Just me, Morgana and Makoto. And Akechi, too, I guess. He didn’t draw on my face unless there’s something y’all aren’t telling me.

Oracle: yall

Joker: @Crow did you draw on my face too or are you innocent here.

Crow: What purpose would that serve? No, I did not draw on your face.

Skull: entertainment

Panther: i can’t believe you spelled that right ryuji

Skull: wats that supposed to mean

Oracle: akechi got really awkward when we called him a twink

Crow: I have no comment.

Joker: Sigh… Please stop drawing on my face.

Skull: na

Oracle: no >:3

Panther: no

Fox: No.

Queen: ...I can’t stop them.

Joker: Why are you all fucking gremlins.


November 13th 2017

5:33 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: Akira, we have to talk.

AK: Uhh sure thing. What’s up?

AK: Everything okay?

YK: Yes, everything is fine.

YK: It’s about one of your personas.

AK: Oh thank God.

AK: I just had a fucking heart attack please don’t start a conversation like that. I thought you were going to break up with me and it hasn’t even been three months.

YK: What? No. It’s nothing like that.

AK: Right. One of my personas.

AK: Which one?

YK: I think you know which one. It has raised a lot of concern throughout the team,

AK: Uhhh

AK: Wait.

AK: ...Describe this persona?

YK: It is phallic and has several tentacles.


AK: More specific?

YK: Akira…

AK: Pls.

YK: It looks like a penis. With tentacles. It rides in a chariot with knives.



YK: Apparently “phallic” wasn’t specific enough. How many personas do you have that are phallic and have tentacles.

AK: There’s a lot of weird ones okay.

AK: Yeah you’re… talking about Mara. What about it?

YK: Akira. Your persona is a penis. I tried to get around this fact but there is no denying what it is.


AK: Okay I hear what you’re saying

AK: It’s not what you think.

YK: Personas typically represent something, or carry some form of symbolism, correct?

AK: Yeah I think you’re right about that one.

AK: Wait shit…

YK: Care to explain?

AK: It’s… not what you think.

YK: Enlighten me, then.

AK: … He’s weak to ice.

YK: That does not help your case in the slightest.

AK: … It really isn’t what you think.

YK: You already said that.



AK: Please believe me.

YK: Akira, a part of yourself is a penis. It’s weak to ice, it goes flaccid after taking a lot of damage… There really is no getting around this.

AK: I’m sorry he goes what

YK: Don’t think I didn’t notice that detail. We all noticed that detail. As hard as I tried to ignore it or see things in a different perspective, I couldn’t. Your persona is a screaming dick with knives and tentacles.


AK: It’s… not what you think…

YK: Try to talk your way out of this one, Joker.

AK: Ouch, okay.

AK: Mara represents desire and the need to break out of confinement.

YK: The confinement of what, exactly? Your jeans?


YK: And desire? Define “desire.”


AK: ….desire

YK: You are aware that you are just making this worse for yourself, right?


AK: Fuck.

AK: Is this technically kinkshaming?

YK: If you’re admitting that it has to do with a fetish, then yes.

AK: I…

AK: Okay.

AK: I never said Mara was purely seuxal desire.

YK: Akira. Just stop.


AK: Ok

AK: Screaming dicks aren’t sexy tho.

AK: You know what is?

YK: I don’t think I want to.

AK: It’s you <3

YK: First of all, that line doesn’t work.

AK: :(

YK: Second of all, you unfortunately are not able to charm your way out of this one, so you can cease your efforts.

AK: :(


Chapter Text

November 14th 2017

3:02 am


Futaba Sakura → Akira Kurusu


FS: hey

FS: hey akira

FS: akira wake up

FS: this is important

FS: i will hack your goddamn phone alarm

FS: akira

FS: you pushed me to this point

AK: Oh my god what do you want you gremlin

AK: I did not ask for the Horsecock Song in my ear at 3 am

FS: you should have woken up :3c

AK: What do you want gremlin.

FS: what happens if someone gets killed during knifeplay

AK: What

FS: idk thats why im asking

FS: is it technically murder?

AK: That would probably be considered involuntary manslaughter, but I’m not sure. You should ask Haru that question, she seems to have all types of weird police information.

AK: Or Makoto. Her sister is a prosecutor.

FS: isnt all manslaughter involuntary :\

AK: Well… yeah, but I think involuntary manslaughter is manslaughter in which you had no intention to kill or maim another person, while manslaughter is acting with malice but no intent to murder. Not too sure about that one though, you’d have to look it up.

FS: huh

FS: akira

FS: akira dont you dare fall asleep again

AK: I’m awake chill

AK: What do you want

FS: what do you call it when you vore something jokingly

AK: What the fuck

FS: to ingest in jest :3

AK: Are you fucking serious

FS: thats all now you can go back to sleep

AK: Jesus christ


November 15th 2017

1:42 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Ann Takamaki


YK: panther.img

YK: How’s this?

AT: that’s perfect!

AT: shiho will love that thank you so much

AT: also here i got a video of akira and ryuji re-enacting that weird piano vine


AT: they were recreating this vine


YK: Where did they even get a piano?

AT: music room

YK: Shujin has that?

AT: apparently they do. i’m just as surprised as you

YK: Since when does Akira know how to play piano?

AT: i think he learned for the joke

AT: i walked into leblanc once to see akira playing trombone for a joke

YK: A man of many strange talents.

AT: i also have a picture somewhere of him in red high heel cowboy boots wearing a rainbow “save a horse ride a cowboy” shirt


AT: yeehaw.png

YK: That is an atrocity. Why would he ever think to do that.

AT: he wanted red cowboy boots

YK: They’re disgusting.

AT: i’m telling akira you said that

YK: Please do. Please burn them while you’re at it.

AT: if i get the chance i will

AT: what about that shirt?

YK: Burn that, too. That is just a monstrosity.

AT: on it

AT: akira gasped all offended like and said that they are a treasure

YK: I don’t even know where to begin with that statement.

AT: don’t yell at me about this, akira is the one with shit fashion choices

YK: I no longer know who Akira is.



November 15th 2017

1:56 pm


Ann Takamaki → Shiho Suzui


AT: panther.img

AT: my artist friend drew a picture of me as panther, since you said you wanted to see it.

SS: You look great! I wish i could see you dressed like that in person.

AT: haha no. if i had the option to change my outfit i would.

AT: the tail also gets in the way a lot of the time. it hurts to sit on…

SS: Yeah i can see how that would be an issue. You still look incredible.

SS: And your friend is a really good artist.

AT: yeah, he is really good. he got a scholarship for this high end art school that he goes to. really impressive

SS: Can you thank him for me?

AT: sure thing. he said he’d give me the drawing next time he sees me so that i can give it to you

SS: Thank you so much!

AT: anything for you <3

SS: <3

AT: the person who drew that is the same person who once drew a lobster in a dress. i have no idea why

SS: Omg are you serious?

AT: yeah. it looked good but… why a lobster in a dress?

SS: Who knows. Maybe it’s symbolic of something.

AT: maybe. either that or he just really likes lobsters.

AT: at the beach over the summer he spent his money on two lobsters. i have no idea if he still has them or not

SS: Why lobsters lol

AT: no idea. something about art i think

AT: i’ll have to ask if he still has the lobsters

SS: Class is starting, i have to go. I’ll call you later okay?

AT: sure thing. love you <3

SS: love you too <3


November 16th 2017

6:30 pm


Bible Study


Joker: Hey uh breaking news Futaba is no longer allowed in Leblanc. Ever.

Oracle: >:\

Oracle: rude

Noir: Oh no! What happened?

Skull: wat did the gremlin do this time

Joker: I just walked upstairs to grab something before heading out, right.

Joker: what-the-fuck.img

Skull: r those condoms

Joker: Yep. All over the floor.

Joker: No explanation as to why or how.

Noir: Well at least now you have them for when you need them.

Joker: Pretty sure they’ll expire before I can even use all of them. No one should ever be using this many condoms.

Joker: Unless you fuck like… seven times a day. That’s a little excessive, even for me.

Oracle: and you have an actual dick persona

Joker: And that. If anyone needs any condoms I have plenty of them.

Joker: Wait it gets better though.

Oracle: heheheh >:3

Joker: Amidst all of these condoms, there’s a package with my name on it. I didn’t order anything recently, which was kind of weird.

Joker: So I opened the package and what is it?

Joker: 420blazeit.img

Noir: Oh my

Skull: dude

Joker: It was a dick shaped bong.

Joker: I don’t even… Where the hell…

Oracle: >:3

Joker: There’s one more thing though.

Skull: oh no

Joker: Inside the box there was a note. You know what that note said?

Noir: What did it say?

Joker: No capitalization, it said “please do not shove this up inari’s ass. you can only get lit on 4/20”

Joker: Futaba I fucking hate you sometimes.

Oracle: >:3c

Joker: How did you even do this? Where did you get so many condoms?

Oracle: >:3c

Joker: Fuck. Do any of you want some condoms?

Skull: dude…

Noir: Akira…

Joker: Fuck it you all get condoms.

Joker: You’re a member of the phantom thieves? Here have a handful of condoms.

Joker: Akechi gets condoms, Ann gets condoms, Makoto gets condoms, Morgana can have some condoms.

Joker: Even Futaba and Yusuke get condoms and they’re ace. Futaba you can make some balloon animals or something.

Joker: Yusuke can use them for art I guess.

Oracle: heck yea

Skull: i thought u were abt to say he could use them on u

Joker: That too, but only if he’s interested.

Skull: kjdsfhkjerhgf

Joker: Haru, do you also want some condoms?

Joker: Have some condoms.

Noir: Hmm… Why not. I’ll take a few condoms.



Joker: You can have all of the condoms if you want.

Noir: No thank you. I don’t need all of the condoms.

Joker: @Everyone You’re all getting free condoms. You can thank Futaba for this. She’s the one who gave me all of these fucking condoms.

Joker: Hope you all need condoms. I have a ton of them.


November 17th 2017

8:43 am


Bible Study


Skull: nice hickey btw

Skull: WAIT SHIT WRONG CHAT that was meant to be a dm

Panther: ryuji!!

Oracle: no keep talking who has a hickey

Skull: ann

Panther: SHUT UP

Oracle: owo

Oracle: guess i should have dumped all those condoms on ann

Panther: shut up it’s not like that i just fell

Skull: u “fell” huh

Panther: yeah

Skull: u fell on ur neck?

Oracle: no she fell into shihos bed

Skull: pfff

Panther: no!!!

Oracle: ann dont even try to deny it

Oracle: weve all seen the rope marks around your wrists


Skull: r we kinkshaming ann now

Oracle: please we all know what youre into ryuji

Oracle: one look at your search history will tell me everything i need to know

Skull: lets not do that im not the one w hickies on my neck rn

Panther: no keep going futaba, let’s kinkshame ryuji

Oracle: “dominatrix puts bratty sub in place”

Oracle: sounds kinky ryuji >:3 i have some good porn recs if youre interested

Panther: oh? so ryuji really is a bottom?



Oracle: just cause you cleared it doesnt  mean i cant still find it

Oracle: also no you didnt

Oracle: use incognito next time dumbass

Panther: wow ryuji. never would have pegged you as the type

Skull: SHUT UP

Oracle: ann was that a fucking pun

Panther: mayhaps ;) 

Skull: gOD

Oracle: i am always ready to kinkshame

Oracle: akira?

Oracle: blue haired twinks. illegal

Skull: dude

Panther: @fox

Skull: ann thats a dangerous game ur playing

Oracle: makoto?

Oracle: bratty sub

Skull: o shit

Panther: never would have pegged her as the type

Oracle: haru?

Oracle: sadist.

Skull: i think we all saw that one comin

Panther: yeah…

Oracle: akechi?

Oracle: hardcore masochist

Oracle: the most bottom of bottoms



Oracle: you think im making this up

Oracle: i can kinkshame all of you

Panther: even yusuke?

Skull: ann no

Panther: i’m just curious! she said all of us but he doesn’t seem like the most sexually driven person

Oracle: ok everyone except inari

Oracle: wait hold on lemme see if i can dig up anything

Oracle: artsexual

Oracle: uhh furry

Oracle: im at a loss here

Oracle: his search history is confusing but nothing i can shame him for


Oracle: mpreg

Oracle: pregnancy

Oracle: uhhh inflation

Panther: inflation?!

Skull: wat the fuck

Oracle: he drew buff sonic the hedgehog

Oracle: i think that counts as inflation

Oracle: like obscenely buff

Oracle: no one should ever be that buff

Skull: dammit… i dont think ill ever b able to look at him the same

Oracle: calm down someone asked him to draw it as a joke

Oracle: as far as i know he isnt actually into inflation

Panther: oh thank god

Skull: for fucks sake futaba

Oracle: hey you asked

Oracle: you asked me to shame and i did

Oracle: ann?

Panther: wait no

Oracle: bondage smh

Panther: i never said i was into bondage!!

Oracle: you dont have to

Oracle: ryuji?

Skull: pls no

Oracle: :)

Fox: Ann and Ryuji, aren’t the two of you in class right now?

Skull: yea…

Panther: yeah..

Fox: Shouldn’t you be paying attention?


Panther: yea…

Oracle: inari read up


Panther: futaba no

Fox: ...I’m ignoring that.

Oracle: >:3

Skull: when did u draw buff sonic and y

Fox: My school is full of enablers with pens. What did you expect.

Skull: yusuke y

Fox: It wasn’t by choice. Someone requested it. In some form, I suppose someone out there enjoys it.

Skull: yusuke

Panther: that’s kind of a nice way of looking at things but

Panther: why


November 17th 2017

9:17 pm


Talk Shit Get Hit


Joker: Tomorrow we send the calling card. Is everything in place?

Fox: Cognitive Akechi is locked in a closet and the fake treasure is in place, yes.

Queen: I still can’t believe you slapped him, Yusuke…

Panther: yusuke did what?!

Queen: He bitch slapped cognitive Akechi.

Fox: It was unintentional.

Queen: How was it unintentional? You were just supposed to push him in the closet and shut the door so that I could padlock it. You slapped him so hard he bashed his head into the closet wall. How did you manage that?

Joker: I am… so proud.

Fox: Unintentional.

Queen: Yusuke…

Skull: cognitive akechi is a bitch he prolly deserved it

Fox: Precisely.

Joker: Anyways, Ryuji you know where the treasure is?

Skull: yup

Joker: So two days from now when we ask you and Yusuke to retrieve it, you know where to go?

Skull: yup

Joker: Got it. I’ll be relying on you guys.

Joker: Tomorrow we’re meeting up at Leblanc and discussing what to do about the calling card. Has it been prepared yet?

Fox: It has.

Queen: It’s ready to be sent out.

Joker: You guys are amazing.

Panther: are you sure we should go through with this?

Joker: Positive. It’s the only shot we have.

Joker: You guys just need to escape. The rest is all on me.

Joker: ...And Futaba, who needs to talk Sae Niijima through the procedure when it comes down to it. But I need to convince her.

Skull: idk dude… r u sure u can handle it

Joker: I’ve been through worse. It’ll be fine.


November 17th 2017

9:19 pm


Yusuke Kitagawa → Akira Kurusu


YK: You can stop doing that.

AK: Doing what?

YK: That. When you pretend everything is okay, and there’s no problems at all.

YK: It’s almost inappropriate to be reacting that way during this situation.

AK: I’m not pretending everything is okay. I just don’t want you guys to worry.

YK: In doing so, you’re just making us worry more. We all know the risks that come with this plan. Of course we’re going to worry about you. You mean a lot to all of us. You mean everything to me. Why wouldn’t we worry about you?

YK: Stop acting like the risks aren’t an issue. They are an issue. This entire plan is an issue.

AK: What do you want me to say? That I’m scared shitless? That in about two days time I could die and the thought of that makes me so anxious I feel like I’m about to puke? Because, guess what, I am.

AK: I am so fucking scared you have no idea. Everything could go horribly wrong and I could wind up dead in a room so far underground no one will ever even know what happened?

AK: Because, yeah, that could happen. And the thought fucking terrifies me. But guess what? I’m the leader. I’m the one they’re after. If I put myself in this position, then that means the rest of you will be safe.

AK: Sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so aggressive there. I’m just… fuck, I don’t know. I’m really scared about all of this, but if I pretend I’m not just maybe I can convince myself that it’s not that bad?

YK: Akira, you can’t just lie to yourself and pretend everything is okay. I’ve been there, and it doesn’t work. It never works. You are a human being with real emotions, just like the rest of us. You have every right to be scared right now.

AK: I know… Sorry, there’s just.

AK: Fuck. I knew doing this shit would be risky but I didn’t realize I would be put in a situation where I might have to die.

AK: But if it means making sure all of you are safe, then shoot me already, you know? I am absolutely willing to put my life on the line, no matter how nerve wracking, if it means all of you are okay.

AK: I think it’s all the anticipation and planning going around this. Could...really deal without all this dumb build up, you know?

AK: Ah well. Guess this is where we are right now.

AK: We’re all scared. Let’s face it, the odds things will go smoothly are about as shitty as they’ve ever been. Fuck, somehow they’re even shittier than they were that time we had to face that cheater douchebag in Mementos, and we couldn’t land a single hit on that dude for the longest time.

AK: But this plan is all we got right now. Yeah, it’s reckless, and dangerous and completely flawed but it’s all we can do. We have to at least try.

AK: It sucks but we all have a part to play.

YK: You’re acting as if it’s not a big deal again.

AK: Sorry.

AK: You’re right. I have to stop doing that. Yeah, I guess it is a big deal. I’m getting arrested again, this time willingly, and Akechi could potentially kill me. I’ll do my best, though. I just have to tell Sae the truth and get her to show Akechi my phone, right?

YK: How are you going to do that?

AK: Wing it? Tell her to shove my phone in Akechi’s face? I don’t know. I’ll figure it out, I guess. It all depends on a variety of factors.

AK: Which, I guess, is why this plan is as risky as it is. It is very dependant on factors we have no control over. If one thing is slightly against us, it could be game over.

AK: And yeah, that’s scary.

AK: Fuck I really don’t know what to say right now. I’m so scared of this entire plan.

YK: Promise me something.

AK: Uhh sure?

YK: Whatever happens, make it out alive, okay?

YK: We need you. I need you.

AK: I’ll do everything I can to stay alive.


November 18th 2017

10:00 pm


Bible Study


Queen: Sis received the calling card.

Joker: Way to go, Queen. How’d she handle it?

Queen: She was… visibly annoyed. The calling card addresses her like she is a criminal. She’s more determined than ever to catch us.

Crow: We’ll just have to change her heart first.

Queen: Yes.

Joker: Alright. After school tomorrow, we do this.

Joker: Final heist. Let’s go out with a bang.


November 18th 2017

10:02 pm


Talk Shit Get Hit


Queen: I confirmed that the interrogation would be taking place in an underground room.

Joker: This room is the same one we confirmed to be unaffected in the Metaverse, yeah?

Queen: Yes. They are identical. You wouldn’t even know you it was in the Metaverse.

Joker: Perfect. You’re amazing, Makoto.

Queen: I’m just trying my best.

Skull: last call. u sure were doin this akira?

Joker: We are going through with this. If I die then I die. The calling card has been sent and the moment we defeat Shadow Sae there will be a shit ton of cops outside the palace, waiting to arrest us. It’s either we do this, I’m the only one to get arrested and the rest of you remain safe and unnamed (and also bust me out of prison) or all of us get arrested.

Skull: wdym if u die u die? do u even kno wat ur saying?

Skull: its like u dont even care

Joker: Of course I care, there’s just other things to be focused on.

Joker: Look. It’s too late to back out now. It’s all or nothing, okay? Somethings are just worth the risk.

Joker: You guys, my team, are worth every risk. If looking death in the face means that the rest of you are okay, then it’s worth everything.

Queen: Akira…

Skull: ur safety means everything to us dude

Joker: I’ll be okay. I promise, I’ll be okay.

Queen: Will you, though?

Joker: I’ll be fine. I really don’t want to talk about it. The plan has been made, everything has been set up, all that’s left is to go out there and play this stupid game.

Skull: dude..

Joker: It’ll be okay.


November 19th 2017

8:18 pm


The reality of the situation hadn’t completely set in until he was forced to it square in it’s stupid fucking face.

One. Since the beginning Yusuke had been against the plan, but it was all they had. Still, somehow it hadn’t fully sunk in until the moment they stepped foot into Sae Niijima’s casino for the last time. His heart pounded anxiously against his chest, like a dog forced into a shallow kennel.

Two. They agreed to consult in the safe room before fighting Sae’s shadow. Every heist, every mission, they consulted at every given moment. Especially now, Yusuke thought, did they truly have to discuss their current situation. If there was one thing Akira was good at, it was addressing the situation.

Three. Akira guided the meeting with a firm grip. His trademark Joker smirk tugged at his lips. If Yusuke didn’t know better, he’d assume Akira had no idea what was about to happen. Akira’s poker face truly was a force to be reckoned with. Joker, in general, was his own type of danger.

Madarame may have been, in Ryuji’s words, a “shitty adult” but living with him did have a few perks. For example, during emotionally distressing situations, such as a situation in which one’s significant other was about to be murdered by a traitor and then made to look like a suicide, Yusuke knew how to keep his emotions inside. No matter how much it hurt, he had to keep it together, just a bit longer.

Four. Akira nodded in agreement at something Crow had said. Yusuke resisted the urge to freeze Akechi where he stood. Just a bit longer. This far in, and Akechi still insisted on acting like he and Joker were business partners. Maybe even friends. Maybe more.

Five. Queen responded to Crow’s statement. Whatever she had said went completely in one ear and out the other. Her jaw was set tight, with an intensity strong enough to break. Queen was just as on edge as the rest of them. Perhaps one day, Yusuke could somehow capture her intensity in one of his pieces. Queen was also her own type of dangerous.

Six. Akira tugged at one of his bright red gloves. His Joker smirk grew wider. Yusuke wasn’t sure he could even count the number of times he had attempted to paint that smirk. Something in the back of his mind reminded him that, whatever happened tonight, there was a high chance it would be the last time he ever got to see that devious Joker smirk.

Somehow, Ann caught Yusuke’s eye. She flashed him a warm, wry smile. Yusuke couldn’t find it within himself to return the gesture. He could only imagine they were thinking the same thing.

Seven. Ann stood and whispered something to Akira. What it was, Yusuke was unable to hear. Yusuke’s stomach continued to eat away at itself in anticipation.

Eight. “Alright. It’s time guys. Let’s keep going.” Akira stated. The other thieves slowly began to disperse.

Yusuke hung back, behind the others. Akira made sure to let everyone else leave before him. Of course. Was Akira trying to catch one more moment alone with Yusuke? He couldn’t tell. Akira was wildly unpredictable. The safe room cleared out. Akira approached Yusuke.

Nine. Akira removed his mask and tossed it on the table. Yusuke followed his example.

“You’re thinking about it too, huh,” Akira muttered. It wasn’t a question, but a statement. An observation, really. A gross mixture of neon yellow and navy blue crawled through Yusuke. Some color combinations worked perfectly. Crimson red and ice blue, for example. Colors of passion and strength, determination and loyalty and honesty. Neon and navy, however, were not one of those combinations. Yellow and blue, while the proper shades and shapes could look flawless, together were colors of anxiety and conflict, sadness and melancholy. Yusuke duly noted the presence of that combination quite a bit recently.

Akira sighed. “Guess this is it. We’re really going through with this,” he chuckled dryly. “I know I don’t look it, but right now I’m terrified.”

Yusuke’s throat was dry. He struggled to find the words to properly convey everything inside.






Love, maybe.

Somewhere, a hint of rose, pastel love. Somewhere, underneath layers and layers of conflicting patterns

None of it made much sense. All the colors blended together, all the different shades just mixed in, inevitably creating a horrid brown. The different themes he had attempted to capture or portray over the years just morphed into one, completely broken theme: Heartbreak.

Akira tapped his fingers against the table. “Listen, I. If I don’t get a chance to say it later, I just--”

“Don’t.” Yusuke cut in. “Whatever it is you’re about to say, save it. You’ll get a chance to say it later.”

Akira widened his eyes in surprise. “Yusuke--”

“No. You’re going to make it out alive. You said you would make it out alive, so I will hear nothing else.” Everything internally protested. In the back of his mind, he knew chances were incredibly slim. That didn’t mean he couldn’t hold onto the small hope that Akira would be okay. The obscenely, next to impossible chances. Perhaps it was just naive optimism. “Here, let me put it in terms familiar to you. How about we strike a deal of sorts?”

Akira’s hand twitched. Something glittered behind silver irises. That same look he had given when striking a deal with Akechi. The same look he had given when approaching Yusuke outside of thief business for the first time. “A deal? What kind of deal?”

“You make it out alive, and you can have whatever it is you want, as well as finish that initial statement.” Surprisingly, Yusuke’s voice was completely steady. He slowly inhaled before continuing. “Whatever you want from me.”

Akira raised an eyebrow. “Anything? What if I all I want is to spend time with you. Just you. No one else.”

“Then you can have it. All you have to do is come back.”

“Simple enough. I accept your conditions,” Akira stepped closer, and suddenly he was in Yusuke’s personal space. He wrapped his arms around Yusuke’s neck, and pressed his lips against Yusuke’s.

Ten. It was a soft, chaste kiss. A quick kiss, to seal the contract.

A kiss to show Yusuke just how stupidly unfair the entire situation really was.


November 19th 2017

8:57 pm


Eleven. Sae’s shadow crumpled to the ground in defeat. Makoto was immediately at her side. Akira placed a comforting hand on her shoulder in support.

Akechi raised an eyebrow. “It’s just a shadow. Why are you so--”

Ann elbowed him in the side and shushed him. He stuttered out an apology.

Twelve. Joker turned to Yusuke and Ryuji. “The two of you, go find the treasure. The rest of us will stay here with Queen for now.” Yusuke’s heart sank, like an anchor.

Ryuji nodded. “Got it.”

Thirteen. Ryuji signalled for Yusuke to follow. The two of them stalked off to find the treasure. Yusuke gnawed on his tongue in attempt to ease the seething shades of watery, tangerine orange that was coursing through him. If this situation was a canvas, it would be, without a doubt the ugliest painting he would ever see. Just a gross mixture of oranges and yellows and greens and blues, all surrounding a large splotch of gray right in the center. Lately, Yusuke had come to associate Akechi with that color. It was drab and untruthful, just like Akechi.

Fourteen. The brief case was just around the corner, right by the actual treasure. Part of Yusuke was tempted to grab that as well, but doing so would only ruin their already flawed plan. Grabbing the real treasure would guarantee failure. Ryuji grabbed the fake treasure, the briefcase they had planted there just a couple of days before.

Fifteen. Ryuji stood still, and turned to face Yusuke. Awkwardly, he tugged at his belt with the hand not gripping the case. “Uh, hey man, listen. I get that you might be nervous ‘bout all of this, but--”

Yusuke rolled his eyes. Instantly, his own poker face, and own walls of ice flew back up. It was practically second nature at this point. Yusuke couldn’t remember the last time he was this cold towards his team. It was unfair, but then again, so wasn’t life. “Stop. We both know what happens from here, and everyone is nervous about it.” Ryuji wouldn’t even be able to begin to understand just how much it was eating Yusuke up inside. Yusuke wasn’t sure he even knew how bad it all was.

The voice in his head, that he kept locked up at all times, was screaming. With each passing moment, it screamed louder and louder. The bars of the cage that held the voice back were beginning to crack. It was getting angry, and the moment it broke free it was going to mercilessly attack Yusuke with everything it had. All he could do was attempt to strengthen the bars.

Ryuji made a face. “I mean, yeah we’re all a bit nervous here, but that’s…” He shook his head. “What I’m tryin’ to say is that Akira is your damn boyfriend. We’re all pretty scared, yeah, but we’re not all dating the dude. All of us care about him, though. And just--” Ryuji stopped himself. He sighed. “Akira is strong, dude. If anyone can make it out of this, he can. He’s going to be okay.”

With the hand not holding the briefcase, Ryuji squeezed Yusuke’s shoulder. The gesture was oddly comforting. Yusuke nodded and mentally thanked Ryuji for the support.

Fifteen. Ryuji and Yusuke walked back, soundlessly to the rest of the group. Each step was another knife in Yusuke’s heart.

Sixteen. Ryuji announced that they found the treasure. At that moment, Futaba made a noise similar to that of a squeak. Yusuke’s breaths became shallow.

“Huh? Enemy readings. When did they…?” She looked around wildly, as if the enemies were in the same room. She pushed her goggles further up her nose. “They’re gathering outside.”

Seventeen. And so it began.

Green text  surrounded Futaba and she began aimlessly tapping away at it. Ryuji tightened his grip on the briefcase. “The hell’s goin’ on?” As if he didn’t already know.

The numbers on screen (was that even the right term if they were in mid air?) began rapidly increasing, going up by hundreds each second. Yusuke inhaled sharply. “Look at those numbers…”

Ann pressed a gloved hand to her mouth. “This doesn’t look good.”

Morgana hopped forward. “We defeated the palace ruler and took the treasure, yet the shadows are still restless. It doesn’t make any sense. What’s going on here?” He demanded.

“There are more coming? This’ll be dangerous if we don’t do something.” Futaba stated. Most of her attention was drawn to the numbers.

Eighteen. One large screen in the middle showed men in black suits slowly surrounding the outside of the casino. Static picked up on Futaba’s end of things. Choppy, robotic voices echoed through the receiver. Morgana shook his head. “This isn’t good. We need to go, now. Those guys in black suits are almost here. We’ll be done for if we get surrounded.”

Makoto, who had at some point stood from her sister’s shadow’s side and rejoined the group, pressed a gloved finger to her bottom lip. “A team this large would be discovered immediately. We had best split up for our escape. Although, we’ll need someone to act as a decoy…”

Yusuke’s heart crawled into his throat.

Akira, as brave and reckless as ever, stepped forward. “I’ll do it. The rest of you, go.”

Makoto widened her eyes, feigning surprise. “Joker?! Are you planning to distract them by yourself?”

Ryuji shook his head. “Let him do it, Queen. He’s quiet but… once his mind is made up, he’s not gonna take no for an answer.”

Nineteen. Ryuji held the briefcase out to Akira, who accepted it wordlessly. “I’m sure you ain’t gonna die. This is you we’re talkin’ about.” Ryuji reassured. The words held a double meaning, similar to the freshly sharpened edges of a double sided sword.

Akira flashed a smug smile. “Of course I won’t die.” Confidence coated his every syllable. Yusuke almost believed the confidence was genuine.

“Even more are coming!” Futaba yelped. “We have to go, now.”

Twenty. The rest of the group began to take off in one direction. Akira reached out and grasped Yusuke’s wrist, holding him back a moment.

Akira tilted his head to the side and quickly their lips met in a rushed goodbye.

For just half a moment, all of Akira’s internal were let down for once. Even to Yusuke, the fear written on his face was completely visible.

As quick as it had come, every defense was back up. Akira’s grip slackened, and Yusuke was entirely breathless.

Without another word, Akira took off in one direction, and Yusuke took off in the other.


November 19th 2017

9:12 pm


Ten. The briefcase sat heavy in Akira’s hand. It was fake, and completely empty, and just another reminder of their failure. The last heist before Akira’s potential demise, and they couldn’t even have stolen a real treasure.

Futaba and Morgana barked commands and directions in Akira’s ear. Before heading into the palace, Futaba had shoved a communicator into the palm of Akira’s hand and demanded he took it. She was their navigator and insisted on guiding him, even if it meant guiding him to near death. Besides, they needed to know of his position if they were going to bust him out of jail later. That was, if he survived.

Nine. Men in black suits entered the casino through the doors in the slots room. Akira weaved in between the lights and banisters, undetected. They’d have to catch him eventually, but he could at least toy with them, right? God, they were lame.

He leapt on top of one of the lights and positioned himself in front of the entire parlor. One of the people, part of Sae’s cognition, Akira presumed, pointed up at him, garnering the attention of the men in black suits.

Shadows and cognitive patrons were shoved out of the way by the agents. Akira couldn’t help the sickly sweet smile that crawled onto his face. “Aww, they’re tripping over each other for me?” Akira cooed. The adrenaline coursed through him. If only there was a chance he could slip away…

“Joker. Keep moving.” Futaba commanded. “Get out of there.”

Ah well. What came next was scary, but he could at least enjoy the fun while it lasted, right? It was almost a breath of fresh air.

He jumped off the light and onto the balcony, and weaved through the shadows to the backrooms.

Eight. Somehow, Joker found himself in one of the obscenely long stairwells. Men in suits maneuvered the halls like cockroaches. Joker rolled his eyes and sprinted upwards.

Men in suits followed. Shit. They must have spotted him.

Seven. Akira rounded a corner. The adrenaline shook through his chest cavity.

A door was located at the end of the hallway. Akira sprinted as quickly as he could and burst through it.

Six. Somehow, he was on the balcony for the front entrance to the casino. The door was so close, but…

“The exit should be just up ahead. Is something wrong?” Futaba stated. Some clicking echoed on her end, most likely her typing rapidly. “Wait. Shit, they have that exit secured. I’m looking for an alternate route, just hang tight. See if you can find a way out.”

Joker dug his gloved fingers into the glossy wood of the railing. Just on the other side of the room was a large stained glass window, presumably leading directly to the outside.

“Through there…”

He could practically hear the smile in Futaba’s voice. “After all commotion, the bottom floor is completely closed off. Can you make it?”

Five. Akira, in turn, swung himself up until he stood directly on the railing. At that moment the door burst open and men in suits gathered along the balcony.

Joker ran across the railing. His blood diverted away from his gut and flew through his muscles. Fight or flight, huh?

Four. From across the way, the men had their guns pointed directly at Akira. That was fine, the window was practically within arm’s reach. His mouth twitched. “See ya.”

Three. He jumped through the window.

Screams echoed throughout the entire casino.

Futaba scoffed. “...What a show off.”

Ann’s voice picked up from somewhere. “You’re so reckless, you know that?”

Two. Akira landed, nearly perfectly on his feet, before falling back, and rolling. Shattered glass came down around him like snowflakes, or maybe cherry blossoms like in those cheesy romance animes that Futaba had him watch with her.

He stood, and bright lights surrounded him. Shit… they had him targeted.

Futaba groaned. “Enemies, here? These readings… it can’t be…”

“What happened?” A male voice. This one, likely Ryuji.

“An ambush?” Futaba.

“Joker, can you handle this?” A feminine voice, neither male or female. Morgana.

“Capture him!” That one was a random cop. It hadn’t even come through the communicator.

Akira huffed. He held out his arm and showed the police officers just one finger, then took off running. There was a ladder somewhere up ahead, perhaps he could climb up that, onto the rooftop and escape by hopping over the roofs of the surrounding buildings--

One. The metal of the ladder rungs were cold. He pushed himself up, bit by bit, clawing at the metal bars, the wind hot against his skin, the noise of his blood flow combined with that of the different alarms and yelling and the police officers. He grinned smugly at the sight of the officers scurrying around underneath him, unable to reach him--

Zero. More officers were waiting for him. The butt of a gun was forcefully bashed against Joker’s face. Pain erupted on contact. Shit, did they just break his nose? His grip on the ladder slackened, and he slipped away.

Impact. More pain shot through his body against the cold concrete floor. Immediately officers and swat team members were all over him. Someone’s knee was against his back, and hands were on his wrists. Someone else firmly dug his face into the cracking concrete, and handcuffs were aggressively placed around his wrists, definitely a bit too tight, and all at once all this pain shot through him. Someone snatched the communicator away from him and someone else stomped it into the ground, completely destroying it. Futaba was going to be upset about that later...

Well. Fun was fun. Onto the less fun part of the plan, he timidly thought against the fading adrenaline. Onto the part where he was killed.

“Didn’t expect to find some kid,” One of the men in black suits approached him. He knelt against the ground and grabbed a fistful of Akira’s hair. “You have your teammate to thank for this. You were sold out”

Akechi… That bastard really did plan to betray them. Akira swallowed harshly.

The man let Akira’s head fall to the ground once more. Roughly his cheek bashed against the pavement. More pain… More hands on him…

“Suspect confirmed. Cuff him.”

Chapter Text

November 20th 2017

11:20 am


A bucket of cold water and a kick to the face was not the ideal way to wake up.

Akira gasped. Icy water droplets dripped down his hair and soaked through the front of his school uniform. Everything was hazy…

What happened…? He remembered getting caught but… everything before and was a blur. Was there something he was supposed to tell somewhat? What was it?

Akira coughed. He went to move his arm, but was abruptly pulled back. Handcuffs… Of course they handcuffed him to a chair. His wrists ached. In any other situation, he may have actually enjoyed being kept in handcuffs and treated with zero respect, but in any other situation he would have had the option to safeword out of there if it got too far. This was beyond that.

He turned his head slightly to the side. Something in one of the upper corners glowed. Was that… a camera…?

A security camera. Whatever the police had done to him was sure to have been filmed, right? Maybe he would get some sort of justice out of this hell.

“No dozing off.”

Some muppet looking douchebag in a black suit stood over Akira intimidatingly. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

Akira growled. Sharp pains crawled up his body. His nerves cried out in agony, but there was nothing he could do to stop the pain. He had to get out of there…

Empty needles littered the floor. What the hell had been in there? Akira’s head swam.

“Give it up.” Douchebag barked. He brought up his leg and angrily kicked Akira, as hard as he could, square in the side.

Akira, chair and all, fell to the floor. His head knocked against the floor, and he grunted out a moan of pain.

“Come on, cooperate.” Douchebag commanded. He placed his foot against Akira’s head and firmly pressed down. “Or what? You want another shot?”

The pain was almost unbearable. Akira hissed through his teeth. The combined pressure of the floor and Douchebag’s foot were making his head want to explode. Any more pressure, and it probably would.

Akira stared up at the security camera once more. Someone would have to see that footage, eventually. When that happened, the events that transpired would show exactly the sort of brutality he was put through.

Douchebag followed Akira’s field of vision. “Huh? What about the camera? Are you thinking it can be used as video evidence?” Douchebag scoffed. He crouched down and yank Akira’s head upwards by his hair.

Akira elected to stay silent and just glare. Asshole…

“I asked you a question, dammit.” Douchebag snarled. He dropped Akira’s head once more, allowing Akira’s cheek to collide with the floor.

Akira had to bite back another noise. That cheek must have been the same one the cops had pressed into the concrete when arresting him, if the recurring pain had something to say about it. Akira suspected there was already a bruise there.

Douchebag stood and brought his leg back once more, before aggressively colliding his foot with Akira’s chest once more.

Akira coughed and groaned once more. He doubled forward as much as he physically could in his restraints.

His chest cavity burned. The sickly metallic taste of blood coated the back of Akira’s throat.

Some other dick in a black suit, Akira hadn’t even noticed him, handed Douchebag a clipboard. Douchebag accepted it and turned back to Akira.

“Let’s see… Obstruction of justice, blackmail, defamation, possession of weapons… Manslaughter too, yeah? Talk about the works,” Douchebag listed. “To think that all those crimes were led by a punk like this. You seemed to be enjoying every second of it, huh.”

I was enjoying it…? Akira wondered. Was he enjoying it? He could believe it. A thick fog had shrouded his mind. Akira was going to have to blindly reach through it to pull out the information needed. Either that, or he’d somehow have to clear it all away… but how?

“You should know your place.” Douchebag growled. He turned to the other dick in a black suit and jerked his head towards Akira. The other dick approached Akira and removed the handcuffs.

Instantly, Akira sat up and cradled his arms against his chest, as if caring for a small animal. Dark ringed bruises went all around his wrists. Yep… definitely not the kinky type of handcuffs. Not kinky at all.

Douchebag thrusted a clipboard into Akira’s face. “Sign here. It’s a confession under your name.”

Akira briefly examined it. With a slight sigh, he took the clipboard and signed his name. Directly underneath, he was tempted to add the words “eat shit.” Somehow, he highly doubted it would be appreciated. If anything, it would likely result in more police brutality.

Douchebag leaned his face close to Akira. “Don’t expect to walk out of here in one piece. We are going to make you understand. One must take full responsibility for their actions.”


November 20th 2017

3:52 pm


Somehow, Akira had been ushered to a table. Interrogation, huh? Well, not like anyone interrogating him would ever believe him.

The door opened. The chair directly in front of him was pulled out, and a rather familiar face took a seat. Akira willed himself to look up. His head throbbed.

The woman in front of him let out a noise like a surprised gasp.

Sae Niijima…

“...I didn’t expect it would be you.” Sae admitted.

Akira willed his mouth into a sideways smirk. “Surprise.”

Sae shook her head. “You’ll be answering my questions this time.” Several used needles sat against the floor of the interrogation room. Needles that had at one point been used against Akira. When or where he was admissioned those shots, or what was in there, he didn’t know. Apparently, though, Sae did. “Those bastards,” She turned towards Akira. “Can you hear me? It seems you’ve been through a lot. Almost anything can happen here, and I can’t stop them. That’s why I need you to answer me honestly. I don’t have much time with you, either. What was your objective? Why did you cause such a major incident?”

Akira slumped forward on the table. Exhaustion covered him like a blanket. Somewhere, he wanted to listen the soft alluring voice, telling him to just give in and sleep. He shrugged. “...Justice.” The word was bitter. Or maybe that was just the blood he had coughed up.

Sae’s eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t think it was a prank from the get-go, but I couldn’t assemble a case for prosecution. It’s because I couldn’t figure out the method behind it.”

Akira shook his head. “Of course you couldn’t... Why do you want to know?”

“This isn’t an issue of whether or not it can be used in court. I need to know. This is my case.” Sae stated. She remained calm and patient with him, but the fact that she was still treating the case like a gamble rubbed Akira the wrong way.

“It seems you’re coherent,” Sae observed. “When and where did you find out about that world? How is it even possible to steal another’s heart? Now, tell me your account of everything. Start from the very beginning.”

Akira sighed once more. “Okay, it’s a long story but... I’ll tell you what I can recall.”



November 20th 2017

4:14 pm


“So you mean to tell me that a castle just appeared at your school? That’s completely ridiculous.”

Akira rested his head against his hand. “Well, that’s what happened. Instead of the school, Skull and I found a gross castle where Kamoshida was the king. While we were in there, I ripped my face off, awakened to my persona, and we met Mona. I think…” He rubbed at his eyes. “It was a good day.” Akira had taken to referring to his teammates by his codenames. He was going to protect them, and their identities, even if it was the last thing he did. Sae had already asked about it, and he had refused to give away their real names. She was just going to have to expect that Ryuji was permanently going to be known as “Skull” during his retelling of the story.

“That is complete nonsense!” Sae huffed in a