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Boku no Kitchen Academia

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Midoriya couldn’t believe he’d gotten himself into this. What’s worse is that he couldn’t believe he’d gotten Bakugou into this. Bakugou, the professional cook that used his explosion quirk to create perfectly seared dishes. Bakugou could sear anything and make it good. Steaks, tuna, vegetables…

Midoriya, quirkless Midoriya, should never have told Bakugou he was auditioning for Cutthroat Kitchen. Because now there they were, with two other cooks: someone who oddly looked like a snowcone that was never finished and a girl who Midoriya both admired and was terrified of at the same time. He’d heard she could float knives. Multiple knives.

He gulped.

“Deku, not getting nervous, are you?” Bakugou teased. The four of them were backstage, waiting to be introduced, cameras ready and audiences watching.

“Some would say he has an explosive personality,” the host Present Mic begins.

Bakugou shoots Midoriya one of his threatening grins. “Break a leg, Deku,” he says, and prepares to walk out.

On the other side, Present Mic is continuing, being overly enthusiastic as always. Midoriya would be lying if he said it didn’t help his nerves at least a little bit.

“—but I just think he drops f-bombs a lot for a ridiculous amount of fun and to make our editors miserable! Everyone, it’s the man who curses at his vegetables, Chef Bakugou Katsuki!”

Midoriya smiles weakly at the other two that stand with him. The girl smiles back, and the boy stares passively in Midoriya’s direction, but is clearly staring right through him and choosing to not acknowledge Midoriya’s existence.

“It’s clear that his father, the number two cook Endeavor forced him to be on the showwwwwww!” Present Mic introduces. Izuku hears Todoroki’s sigh just barely. “Rumours say his ice and fire quirks make him a human kitchen! It’s Chef Todoroki Shouto!”

Todoroki glanced at Izuku. Not the girl. Izuku.

“I will beat you,” he said, and walked away.

God, Midoriya was so screwed. How did he get himself into this?

His mother. Yes. He blamed his mother.

~~~~~~~~

“Now, Izuku, you want to chop the vegetables like this,” Midoriya Inko told her son right before a knife flew into her hands at a ridiculous speed, the handle making contact and not the blade. She did this at the same time as she drew a red bell pepper towards her other hand.

She clearly wasn’t satisfied with that knife because she set it down and let another fly to her fingertips.

Midoriya had seen this countless times but he’d never gotten used to it. Not once. His mother and flying knives made Midoriya avoid cooking with her for… obvious reasons.

She grabbed another one that flew through the air and handed it to Izuku handle first.

“Thanks,” Izuku said when he grabbed the handle firmly. Inko nodded and let go, and Izuku moved to his cutting board where a pepper lay in wait.

“You want to bend your fingers and hold the vegetable in a way that minimizes the risk of being cut,” his mother demonstrated, her fingernails slightly digging into the pepper’s skin. “Then you want to move the knife up and down using the front point as the pivot point. Like this.”

She demonstrated the chopping, and she went so fast Izuku could hardly see her hands.

He gulped.

“Uhhh, okay! I’ll do my best!” Midoriya said when she looked at him expectantly.

In the beginning, Midoriya was very bad at dicing peppers.

By the end of the year, he could keep up with Inko and if he was in a good mood, chop faster than her by a long shot.

~~~~~~~~

“—she’s the professional baker that owns a successful muffin shop in Tokyo and is always on cloud nine, it’s Chef Uraraka Ochako!” Present Mic yells loud enough to snap Midoriya out of his haze and he realizes that he’s the only one left.

“Now, we have the first quirkless person on the show! He’s an old friend of Bakugou’s—”

“—we are not friends! F***!” Bakugou interrupts. His voice doesn’t have a mic, so Izuku can hardly hear it, but he still hears it.  

Present Mic smiles and continues. “—and uses actual cooking utensils for all of his cooking! It’s Chef Midoriya Izuku!”

Midoriya walks out and takes his place at his workstation on the end, next to Uraraka. Bakugou is opposite to him—which is probably for the best—and Todoroki is in between Bakugou and Uraraka. All four stand at attention, every one of them nervous except for Todoroki.

Heeyyyyyyyyyyyy!” Present Mic yells, and the rest of them wonder if he ever doesn’t. “Welcome to Cutthroat Kitchen !” A nondescript crew member slides a fancy metal case across the front table, and then Mic tells everyone what they already know.

“Inside this case is not ten, not twenty, but one! Hundred! Thousand! dollars!”

Mic had changed positions four times while he had revealed the amount of cash in the box.

He opens it with flair. “Now, since there are four of you, you each get twenty-five thousand!” He points to each chef, and begins handing out stacks of cash. Bakugou goes first and sniffs it like it’s his favorite kind of flower. Todoroki goes last, seemingly not caring and passive as what Izuku really hopes to be not always.

Izuku merely wishes he had his notebooks with him, with notes and recipes and information on how nearly everything reacts under what conditions. Midoriya Izuku knew enough about flavors to create some of the most insane dishes imaginable. But here, on Cutthroat Kitchen he had to keep it simple. Always simple.

“Seems like you four are getting acquainted! Sounds like it’s time for me to start the first challenge! I want you….” Mic draws it out. Todoroki still looks bored and Bakugou’s impatience. Uraraka and Midoriya exchange nervous glances. “…to make rice!”

“…Rice?” Bakugou immediately says. “You want us to f****** make rice?

“Kacchan, just do it,” Midoriya says, attempting to appease him so that the show can go on.

Todoroki nonchalantly lights up his fire side and sighs. “My old man is going to enjoy this one.”

“You could just use a f****** stove!” Bakugou starts. “No, no, use your f****** quirk! I’m going to beat you anyway!”

Todoroki just gives him the death glare.

~~~~~~~~~~

Chef Snowcone thinks he’s so f****** cool with his fancy fire and ice quirks,” Bakugou mocks to the camera. “If I used my quirk on him, I could defeat him so quickly he’d pass out before I could even get to him. F******* weak.” Bakugou puts his fist to his palm in front of him, igniting a small firecracker-like explosion while he does so. “That candy-cane mother***** is going down.”’

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alright!!!!!!!” Present Mic brings the show back to himself, and Yamada is starting to realize that Nedzu put one hell of a cast under his jurisdiction today. “Everyone, you have sixty seconds to grab everything you need from this pantry. Ready…. Set…..” Everyone prepares to grab their baskets. “…GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!”

Midoriya shoots across the floor, barely beating Bakugou from the pantry. Bakugou steals the bag of rice Izuku was going for, and then does the same again. When he tries to do it a third time, Izuku feints grabbing one back and grabs another. Bakugou couldn’t touch it once it was in his cart.

Bakugou growls when he grabs the salt.

Todoroki grabs sushi rice, because f*** regular rice. And, because it’s Todoroki, some red food coloring might do the trick. On second thought, he grabs some black rice instead, because he realizes the judge might not want to eat blood red rice.

He nearly forgets the salt.

Uraraka doesn’t even need a basket. She steps in the door, touches what she wants, and then as she leaves the room with forty seconds to spare, all of her groceries come floating into her basket.

Mic eyeballs the action, and she all but skips back to her workstation.

Todoroki leaves next, and—

“Ten!” Mic shouts, preparing to slam the door. “Nine! Eight! Seven! Six! Five!” Midoriya and Kacchan are fighting over a bag of rice, and when Midoriya hears how close he is to losing, he settles for brown rice and makes a run for the door. “Four! Three! Two! One! EEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHH!” Mic closes the door dramatically, and Bakugou shoots Midoriya a death glare from the other side of the table.

“Well,” Mic says, voice calmer. “That was… interesting. Either way, it’s time for the sabotages!”

Mic knocks on a dumbwaiter and down comes a single card.

“This could be considered useless to some, but it’s an all time favorite and… let’s watch some of you fight!”

“Well, what the f***  is it?” Bakugou says.

“Two of you will have to cook rice this round…. Without a quirk!”

There were gasps all around and Uraraka looks like she’s going to be sick.

~~~~~~

Uraraka looks into the camera, worried. “I knew I could make rice without my quirk, it’s just rice, but it’s been so long since I’ve cooked without it that I don’t know what I’d do. I just have to make sure this one doesn’t go on me. I’m going to win that money and take it back to my parents, and then they can live at least for a little while without worry.”

~~~~~~

Meanwhile Midoriya stands back, feeling as if it will be better to bid on something else.

~~~~~~~

Midoriya smiles. “For once in my life it seems being quirkless could prove to be an advantage,” he places a hand under his chin, and his eyes shift to the ground. “I’m guessing Kacchan will go for this one, seeing how quickly he took to hatingtodoroki-kunwhichwouldleavemeintheclearforthis…

The camera abruptly cuts away from Midoriya before any more of his mumbling can take up screen time.

~~~~~~~

“We’ll start the bidding at five hundred!” Mic asks.

Hardly before he’s done speaking, Bakugou shouts, “Eight thousand!”

Mic takes a mental step back because he can’t believe what he just heard. “Anyone for above eight thousand?”

No one even tried to contest it. Not in the first round .

“Alright then, Chef Bakugou, I’ll be needing some of that Cold! Hard! Cash! you’ve got there.”

Bakugou readily gives up the eight thousand and looks right at Todoroki. “You, this is going towards you, you f******* snowcone .”

Todoroki sighs at the prospect of having to use actual kitchen appliances.

~~~~~~~~

“Chef Bakugou is an idiot if he thinks making me temporarily quirkless will make him any stronger in this kitchen. Sure, my quirk helps regulate the temperature of foods so that nothing gets too hot or too cold, but you know what else does? Actual kitchen supplies . Which as of now, I still have,” Todoroki leans back—he’d moved closer to the camera during his speech—and gazes off somewhere else. “He’s in for a real surprise.”

Todoroki suddenly turns back to the camera and cocks a wicked grin that could probably roast a steak if Todoroki stared at it long enough.

~~~~~~~~~~

After Bakugou tries to futilely screw over Todoroki, he makes a point of skipping over Midoriya, and then looks at Uraraka. “Well, Round face is the only eligible person for it, so I guess she has to be quirkless too. It would be f******* stupid of me to make quirkless Deku even more quirkless. Sorry not sorry, Uraraka!”

Uraraka groans.

~~~~~~~~~~

“See, if Deku hadn’t been here, then I wouldn’t have been sabotaged! I should have gone for that one, I should have thought through it harder. And now not having bid on it might have cost me everything,” Uraraka lets out another groan of annoyance, and then quiets.

~~~~~~~~~~

“And the second sabotage is appropriate to this challenge! Bring it out boys!”

The aforementioned boys bring out a giant bowl and a pair of chopsticks.

There are collective groans from the cast.

~~~~~~~~

“You have got to be f****** kidding me? A f****** bowl? With f****** chopsticks?” Bakugou says. “This is f****** ridiculous and perfect for Deku. Speaking of… Deku!” Bakugou calls. “Where the f*** are you, you little s***!” He stands up and walks out of frame with no warning whatsoever.

The camera pans to Todoroki who can’t stop laughing. He clearly had just come in after Bakugou had left the interviewee seat.

“I—I’m fine,” Todoroki manages. “This show just… it’s as ridiculous as I thought it would be,” He devolves into another bout of laughter and the camera cuts back to the main show.

~~~~~~~~~

“With this, your opponent will have their prep station replaced with this giant bowl, and the only utensils they have will be chopsticks!”

Okay, Midoriya definitely doesn’t need that.

“Kacchan…” Midoriya warns when Bakugou shoots him a look.

“Five hundred anyone?” Present Mic began.

“Six hundred!” Midoriya shouted. If Bakugou had blown eight thousand on screwing over Todoroki and Uraraka, then that meant Midoriya could outbid him.

But he also wants to walk away with some cash. This had been his idea after all.

“Five thousand!” Bakugou calls.

Midoriya looks over at him, and Bakugou gives him his best eat-s***-and-die look. He’s perfected it well over the years because Midoriya suddenly doesn’t want to be here anymore.

But that’s what he wants.

“Kacchan!” he whispers, nearly hissing. “Don’t blow your money on the first round! We still have two to go!”

“I wasn’t going to blow it all, I’m playing the f****** game and I’m going to f****** win and beat your a** ,” Bakugou says back.

Midoriya took in a shaky breath. “Five thousand, one hundred, please.”

 

CUTTHROAT KITCHEN WILL RETURN AFTER THESE SHORT MESSAGES