After that interesting conversation Yami avoided both Bakura and Marik as well as the now public threesome of Yugi, Ryou, and Mokuba as much as possible and thus bizarrely found himself spending more and more time with Kaiba, who was outraged that Mokuba was together with Ryou and Yugi. For one thing, as he frequently told Yami, he was together with boys (could Yami possibly imagine the effect on the public image of Kaiba Corp?), for another, he was together with two boys (again, think of the public image, Yami!), and, most outrageously, he was together with Kaiba's most hated rival. Privately Yami thought Kaiba's rage at the whole thing might have had something to do with the fact that he had found out about it last.
Yugi was just glad that Yami was finally getting on with somebody, at least, though he felt sorry for Mokuba for having to put up with the ire of Kaiba. He did not say anything to Yami, however – he knew Yami needed some time to wrap his mind around the mind-blowing concept of his innocent little hikari being together with not one, but two boys, one of them being the younger brother of Kaiba himself. He never suspected that Yami's strange behaviour might have another source.
Three weeks after "The Incident," the class went on the long-awaited (at least by some) six-day trip to a farm-turned-hostel somewhere in the middle of nowhere. It had originally been a planned as a week long, but their math teacher had decided to schedule a huge test that very Monday, so they had had to shorten the trip by a day. Needless to say, the math teacher would never get back into their good graces as far as the class was concerned.
The day of the departure started out rather promising for Yami. The sun was shining brightly from the clear blue sky, the birds were singing, and – okay, admittedly the real reason Yami was in such a good mood was because he had got to sleep an extra hour. Whatever the cause ultimately was, Yami was in high spirits as he walked to school with Yugi. He could barely restrain himself from skipping – a five thousand-year-old pharaoh did not skip.
To his surprise, the bus that would take them to their destination was already waiting in front of the school. It was a small bus, with rows of three seats next to each other and not the usual two-and-two. Yugi immediately sat down next to Ryou and began chatting avidly with him. Yami hesitated a moment, then quickly sat down in the middle seat in the row farthest back, glad to be so far away from the watchful eyes of the teacher. This way, he might even get away with playing Duel Monsters on his gameboy instead of "socializing," especially if he managed to keep others from sitting next to him. To this end, he set his backpack down on the seat next to the aisle and leant back onto it, laying his feet up onto the remaining seat. He closed his eyes and let himself relax, tuning out the noise of the other students arriving and settling down in the seats.
He was rudely jolted out of his contentment with a tap to his shoulder and a "Move over, Yami, others need the space, you know?"
Yami scowled as his good mood mysteriously evaporated. He opened his eyes and glared at the two… shall we say troublemakers that were standing in front of him, waiting for him to move. Reluctantly, but mindful of the looks the teacher was sending his way, he put his backpack under his feet and sat up. He wasn't about to make anything easier for the two by moving over to the window seat and so he remained stubbornly seated in the middle.
This turned out to be a bad move as Bakura simply clambered over the back of the seats in front if them and plopped down on Yami's left. Now Yami found himself wedged between the two fiends. Why did this always happen to him?
"So, how's it hanging, Yami?" Bakura asked brightly.
What in the name of Osiris does that even mean? Yami wondered.
"Yeah, you seem to have been avoiding us lately," Marik added, mock concern lacing his voice. "What's wrong? Haven't we always been the best of friends to you?"
"If trying to kill each other repeatedly constitutes a good friendship, then yes, I would have to say that you've been very good friends indeed," Yami said moodily.
"Aw, he admitted it!" Marik said chirpily. His supposed concern had suddenly vanished, Yami noted dully. He felt like a coat of lead had settled around his body. There was no escape.
"OH YEAH! I WON! I BEAT THE PHARAOH!" Bakura shouted as he jumped up onto his seat and broke into song and dance. "I rock, I rule, uh-huh, uh-huh!"
By now everyone had turned around towards the three in the back row. "I'm glad your so happy, Bakura," the teacher said with a smile, "but please quiet down. We wouldn't want to distract Mr. Wrode from the road, now would we?"
Everyone ignored her.
"You're loosing your touch, Yami," Marik drawled slyly. "Weren't you the King of Games? Doesn't that mean that Bakura is the King now?"
Yami glared. "We were playing Scrabble, not Duel Monsters," he ground out. "That title refers only to card games."
"Aw, he's getting defensive!" Bakura winked at Yami. Up at the front, Ryou turned around to look at them and then whispered something in Yugi's ear. Both giggled. Yami glared futilely at the back of their heads. That was it; everyone had ganged up on him.
"I wanna beat Yami too!" Marik whined.
"Don't worry, you'll get your chance," Bakura said, leering at Yami, "we both will."
"You already beat me!" Yami growled exasperatedly. "What more do you want?"
"/Oh but you know what we want, o great pharaoh./"
Uh-oh. Bakura had switched to Ancient Egyptian, a language only the three of them understood. This did not bode well for Yami. Where were those near-death experiences when you needed them?
Bakura inched closer to Yami and breathed into his ear, "/We want you./"
"/And we won't rest until we have you, body, mind, and soul,/" Marik added.
Yami felt like a deer caught in the headlights. To his left was Bakura, and to his right was Marik, and – Oh Ra, please get me out of here, Yami thought frantically, staring wildly at the two fiends grinning lecherously at him. "Would you – please – just – leave me alone?" Yami managed to whisper.
Bakura and Marik cackled in unison. "/Oh would you look at that, the pharaoh is scared of us!/" Bakura crowed.
Marik winked at Bakura. "/So much for all-powerful god, no?/"
"/Yes. It seems demons are more powerful than gods after all…/" Bakura leaned over Yami to get to Marik and Yami finally cracked. "WOULD THE BOTH OF YOU JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE?"
"Yami! That is quite enough from you!" the teacher barked, hurrying towards the trio. "I was hoping you had stopped acting so childish around Marik and Bakura, but apparently that was not the case!" She stopped and took a steadying breath. "Right. It seems I need to be a little harsher in this case. For the duration of this trip, you will share a room with Marik and Bakura, and should you have time for – how do you young people call it? Ah yes – chilling, I expect you to spend that time with your roommates." With a last stern look at Yami, she turned on her heel and marched back to the front of the bus. Yami only dimly heard the snickering of the class as he drowned in his own little well of blackest despair. Oh Ra, Horus, Osiris, Isis, Bastet, Hathor, Anubis, Seth; all ye gods of Egypt, which one of you did I anger so to deserve such a punishment?
Bakura and Marik looked as if Christmas had come early and someone had just told them of a one-million inheritance each from some obscure uncle nobody had ever heard of. Then they looked at the frozen Yami and, as one, licked their lips suggestively.
Do they share a brain or something? Yami thought while wishing for a convenient God Card to knock him out until this whole farce was over and he could go home and crawl into his own bed in his private room with no-one else there. Or maybe Shadi could randomly appear and send him back to Ancient Egypt… the Bakura of that time only wanted to kill him, after all…
For the rest of the bus ride, Yami remained uncharacteristically quiet, stuck in his own little cloud of doom. Neither of the other two bothered to rouse him from his near-cataleptic state.
Finally the bus pulled into a courtyard enclosed on two sides by a large farmhouse with annexed barn and a pasture on another. The horses, sheep, and cows grazing on said pasture did not seem too bothered by the noisy bus, but the chickens and geese fluttered around the courtyard squawking wildly.
Yami looked at the plethora of farm animals in horror. He was a Pharaoh, for Ra's sake! Well – he had been a pharaoh, but once a pharaoh, always a pharaoh, no matter the circumstances!
The rest of the class seemed less fazed by the feathered monsters as they fought to get out of the bus first, glad to be out of the stifling air and into the fresh countryside breeze. Complete with the wonderfully refreshing aroma of fertilized earth - fertilized with manure, naturally.
The teacher vanished into the house, reappearing moments later, triumphantly waving a piece of paper at the students milling about. "Quiet!" she called over the chattering students. When that proved ineffective, she called, "If you don't stop chatting right now, you can sleep in the pigsty!"
The sudden silence was practically tangible.
"Good," the teacher said in a satisfied tone. "Now, I have here a list of the rooms we have. They have one room of two, two rooms of three, two rooms of four, and one room of five available. Girls and boys separately, of course," she admonished, "and now please, no quarreling, I want to know your rooms." She glanced at the two yamis and Marik. "I will have a room reserved just for you."
Bakura and Marik tried not to look too gleeful while Yami tried not to look like he was walking towards his execution. All three failed miserably.
Ryou glanced at them in amusement before turning to the teacher and announcing in a quiet voice, "Me and Yugi would like to share a room."
"That would be the room for two then –" she paused as she scribbled something on her sheet of paper. "Those of you who have told me their rooms can go unpack!" she called.
Ryou and Yugi wandered off towards the farmhouse, pulling their luggage behind them. Yami felt both his arms grabbed – he didn't need to look to know who it was – and was practically dragged to the farmhouse by two overenthusiastic psychos. He mentally tried to prepare himself for five very long days.