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seventeen shenanigans

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change up (13) — 4:53 pm


generic dad™: not to be dramatic here

generic dad™: but i think mingyu is dead


angle: the kid's been dead inside for years tho


hurricane: tell us something new Leader™


softshua: is this about him falling down the stairs

softshua: because i swear i saw wonwoo push him


wonweewoo: don't incriminate me

wonweewoo: it was probably jihoon anyway


snoozi: I may be made of pure anger but I didn't touch the giant.


hand soap: honestly i think it was wonwoo hyung


wonweewoo: WHY


hand soap: i saw the jealousy in your eyes when he sang in trauma

hand soap: i'm no fool


the maknae™: debatable


hand soap: rude


jejuboo: dude u can't just take out ur äNG(k)st on mingyu just bc u wanna sing


wonweewoo: first of all, i DID NO SUCH T H I N G

wonweewoo: second, fight me boo seungkwan you get a fuck ton of lines


snoozi: ..."äNG(k)st"?


the maknae™: hyung have u ever looked up the word angst in ur phone's dictionary


snoozi: I spend my time doing more productive things, Chan.


hand soap: ouch





hurricane: "origin: 'fear'" bitch me too tf


minghoe: i can't believe our most angsty member didn't even know about this


softshua: honestly jihoon isn't our most angsty member


jejuboo: then whom??


softshua: that should remain a secret for now :)


hand soap: ominous but ok


tol pupper: i still can't believe u tried to off me hyung


wonweewoo: if you keep trying to frame me i just might actually off you


jejuboo: oh shit


tol pupper: suddenly i remember tripping on jun hyung's underwear??


my i supremacist: dude tf


tol pupper: it was u or me man


my i supremacist: it should've been u


jejuboo: OH SHIT


generic dad™: mingyu pls stop making enemies you might really die at this rate


tol pupper: honestly? that's the goal


angle: tbh same


pure one: do u guys need hugs or sth


angle: yes please


pure one: On It


softshua: man i never knew he could run that fast


jejuboo: hugs fuel him


softshua: true




change up (13) — 5:26 pm 


hand soap: ok i think it's time to address the elephant in the room


jejuboo: u heard him junhui it's time to expose urself


my i supremacist: what


generic dad™: do i want to know


hurricane: honestly? no


generic dad™: noted


my i supremacist: i don't understand this but i feel as if i'm being m o c k e d


jejuboo: ur always being mocked tho?


angle: yeah this isn't anything new


my i supremacist: tru


generic dad™: wait what was hansol actually trying to talk about though


snoozi: Oh right.


[hand soap has changed the chat name to "trauma"]


hand soap: our time to shine has come


[generic dad™ has changed hand soap's name to "sandsol"]


sandsol: but why


generic dad™:



sandsol: ok fine that's fair

sandsol: but can we also


[hansol changed tol pupper's name to "svt's secret vocalist"]


svt's secret vocalist: i'm ok with this title


angle: welcome to the vocal team, kid

angle: a word of advice...don't piss of jihoon


snoozi: Good advice.


svt's secret vocalist: ...was that a threat


snoozi: A lot of the things I say double as threats.


svt's secret vocalist: fair enough



my i supremacist to: hurricane — 7:03 pm


my i supremacist: ok what the hell did you mean earlier


hurricane: umm

hurricane: dude

hurricane: ur intense Love™ for minghao???


my i supremacist: wh


hurricane: don't u "wh" me

hurricane: are u seriously trying to tell me that u aren't aware of ur own feelings


my i supremacist: ?????? what feelings???????


hurricane: oh my g o d

hurricane: so u mean to tell me that you aren't at all conscious of the amount of time u spend staring at his ass during practice


my i supremacist: to be fair i stare at everyone's hindquarters


hurricane: h i n d q u a r t e r s


my i supremacist: are u telling me u don't get a kick out of minghao's derrière?


hurricane: STOP IT


my i supremacist: never

my i supremacist: i live off of other people's discomfort


hurricane: ...ok honestly me too

hurricane: not the point tho

hurricane: u stare at the guy 24/7


my i supremacist: pshhh no i don't


hurricane: u dropped all ur laundry in the middle of the hallway earlier bc u were staring at him so intensely

hurricane: ur fixation almost murdered mingyu

hurricane: it's kind of amazing that nobody's noticed tbh


my i supremacist: dude i don't even like guys??






my i supremacist: B O I

my i supremacist: what would u know about liking guys anyway??


hurricane: another funny question


my i supremacist:

my i supremacist: w8

my i supremacist: WHAT


hurricane: i'm not about to out myself lmao

hurricane: just know i'm about as gay as u seem to be


my i supremacist: well since i clearly don't know anything about that i'll just sit around in the dark for a while

my i supremacist: bye soonyoung thanks for CONFUSING ME


hurricane: anytime man




my i supremacist to: the maknae™ — 7:24 pm


my i supremacist: on a scale of 1-10 how gay do u think i am


the maknae™: like a solid 13


my i supremacist: fucking great


the maknae™: why


my i supremacist: idk soonyoung and i talked earlier and it's got me all messed up


the maknae™: wdym?


my i supremacist: idk i just

my i supremacist: didn't think i liked guys?

my i supremacist: but now that i'm thinking about it

my i supremacist: well

my i supremacist: thinking about minghao

my i supremacist: and i mean like actively thinking about him not like the way he's been occupying my empty head for like three weeks

my i supremacist: it feels different


the maknae™: do u like him?


my i supremacist: FUCK chan i don't know

my i supremacist: i think so???


the maknae™: listen...i get that ur realizing things and that u probably won't come to a complete decision for a while

the maknae™: but if u do like him

the maknae™: i think u've got a pretty good shot with him

the maknae™: and i'll be here to help u with anything u need, ok?

the maknae™: soonyoung hyung too, no matter how much he harasses u


my i supremacist: yeah

my i supremacist: yeah i know

my i supremacist: thanks man


the maknae™: no problem hyung :D

the maknae™: try and get some rest and think it over, k?


my i supremacist: i will



trauma (13) — 8:41 pm


angle: shua


softshua: yes?


angle: have u seen minghao


softshua: no i've been watching a movie with seokmin

softshua: why?


angle: i have to beat him


softshua: i feel like i might regret asking this

softshua: but, again, why?


angle: he taped like 20 pictures of his face all over my bed

angle: and he managed to slip a different picture of himself into every crevice i can see in here

angle: everywhere i go i have to see his f a c e


softshua: ...interesting


minghoe: you'll never catch me hyung

minghoe: i have a powerful barrier


generic dad™: is that why you're hiding behind me


minghoe: yes




minghoe: N E V E R



trauma (13) — 8:57 pm


wonweewoo: did anyone else hear that big thump


svt's secret vocalist: that was probably the sound of minghao's life ending


sandsol: finally we're free


jejuboo: damn. stone cold.


sandsol: he hid my shoes last week

sandsol: he's dead to me


the maknae™: i understand


svt's secret vocalist: you would rly throw him away for ur fuckin crocs


generic dad™: your what now


angle: suddenly seventeen only has 12 members?


sandsol: fuck off crocs are comfortable and functional and sofia gave them to me so i love them


snoozi: Does she hate you?


sandsol: NO


snoozi: Then why would she give you those horrible things?




the maknae™: yeah u say that but jeonghan hyung seems to be deleting all pictures of u from his phone as we speak


sandsol: :(


generic dad™: it was nice knowing you hansol



hurricane to: my i supremacist — 9:14 pm


hurricane: u've been staring angrily at ur toast for a good five mins now

hurricane: u good?


my i supremacist: i haven't been ok since Fergie's 2006 release of Fergalicious


hurricane: that's oddly specific but i feel it 

hurricane: and i meant the whole minghao thing

hurricane: is it messing with u?


my i supremacist: i mean yeah i'm kind of questioning everything about myself rn


hurricane: well shit

hurricane: i knew i shouldn't have said anything


my i supremacist: nah

my i supremacist: i'm glad that u did

my i supremacist: it's given me a lot to think about


hurricane: the thought of u being introspective terrifies me


my i supremacist: since when do u use the word introspective


hurricane: since wonwoo started making me come to his book club meetings


my i supremacist: ...ur telling me wonwoo has a book club


hurricane: yeah we meet on the first sunday of every month to talk about literature

hurricane: susan always brings snickerdoodles


my i supremacist: what the fuck i want susan's snickerdoodles


hurricane: but do u read


my i supremacist:

my i supremacist: no


hurricane: exactly


my i supremacist: do u????


hurricane: yes i read but i will never tell u my favorite genre

hurricane: there are some things that i'm not willing to admit man

hurricane: and i already have wonwoo sworn to secrecy so don't even try


my i supremacist: should i be concerned


hurricane: probably


my i supremacist: got it



dance dance (4) — 11:19 pm


minghoe: Leader™


hurricane: yes my child


minghoe: why are u looking at me like that


hurricane: none of ur business my child


minghoe: tf


the maknae™: the real question is

the maknae™: why am i the only one actually practicing the choreography


hurricane: don't act innocent maknae we all know ur just doing it to look hotter than all of us on stage


the maknae™: that i cannot deny


minghoe: too bad it'll never work


the maknae™: b i t c h


minghoe: also

minghoe: why has jun been staring at himself in the mirror for so long


hurricane: if i looked like him i’d do the same thing tbh


minghoe: fair enough


hurricane: :^)


the maknae™: wh


hurricane: :^)))))))))


minghoe: should i be scared?


hurricane: ;^))))))))))))


the maknae™: definitely


minghoe: time to escape while i can!



jejuboo to: minghoe — 11:43 am


jejuboo: is it just me or has the entire performance team been staring at u for the last 10 mins


minghoe: for once ur right seungkwan


jejuboo: i don't need the sass ok

jejuboo: fr tho wtf is going on here

jejuboo: are they planning to kill u or smth

jejuboo: bc if so

jejuboo: i can't rly blame them


minghoe: rude

minghoe: and i seriously don't know???

minghoe: u didn't expose me, did u?


jejuboo: if ur asking if i blabbed about ur giant crush jun

jejuboo: aka the guy u regularly tie urself to and call it a dance

jejuboo: then no i didn't

jejuboo: if anything is gonna give it away it's the way u eat him up with ur eyes every time he dances lol


minghoe: don't roast me ok the man is fine


jejuboo: i'm JUST SAYIN. ur kinda obvious. maybe they all just Know.


minghoe: ur not making me feel better


jejuboo: oh did u want support sorry i'm much better at mockery


minghoe: why did i even tell u i like jun


jejuboo: bc i caught u like sobbing over him @ 3 am and u couldn't stop urself from spilling everything to me???



minghoe: right

minghoe: bad times


jejuboo: mhm

jejuboo: anyway u should rly get chan to stop looking at u like ur an idiot it's starting to piss even me off


minghoe: oh i plan on stopping him

minghoe: i'll just need a sock and some butter


jejuboo: oh that boy is d e a d



the maknae™ to: minghoe — 12:13 am


the maknae™: STOP IT


minghoe: OPEN THE DOOR


the maknae™: NO U HAVE A BUTTER SOCK





the maknae™: FUCK NO









the maknae™: I DON'T DESERVE THIS




the maknae™:

the maknae™: HONESTLY NO







minghoe: EXPOSE WHO


the maknae™: FUCK I'VE SAID TOO MUCH


minghoe: CHANNNNNN



trauma (13) — 12:18 am


wonweewoo: did anyone else just hear chan scream


snoozi: It was kind of hard to miss, yeah.


angle: so we lost 4 members today then??


softshua: seems like it


generic dad™: well now we have to make up a new elaborate explanation for our number of members


snoozi: No one even believes the current one though.


generic dad™: I KNOW


angle: well we're doomed i guess


my i supremacist: i knew someday we'd die out one by one

my i supremacist: this many crazy guys can't live together without some casualties


hurricane: that's dark but ur not wrong


minghoe: i guess since hansol is dead i should bury him with his crocs


sandsol: why r u acting like i really died

sandsol: and why do u require my death to give my crocs back


minghoe: do u hear that? sounds like a ghost


sandsol: i don't deserve to be treated this way


svt's secret vocalist: debatable


sandsol: smh



minghoe to: jejuboo — 2:49 am


minghoe: seungkwan

minghoe: i've been thinking about why perf team was staring at me

minghoe: and why soonyoung especially is being really weird about it


jejuboo: what are u getting at here


minghoe: i think

minghoe: i think soonyoung might like me?



jejuboo: wait do u actually


minghoe: i mean not really but?? it's the only reason i can think of

minghoe: if they were gonna do something weird to me it would've happened by now

minghoe: and chan and soonyoung make lots of really dramatic eye contact

minghoe: jun doesn't rly seem to care tho


jejuboo: ://


minghoe: it's fine

minghoe: my feelings about jun aren't important right now

minghoe: i just need to know if soonyoung actually likes me

minghoe: wanna help me figure it out?


jejuboo: oooookayyyy i guess i can try to scout around


minghoe: thanks man


jejuboo: yeah of course



jejuboo to: pure one — 3:10 am


jejuboo: dude

jejuboo: we have An Issue


pure one: why what happened were any puppers injured???


jejuboo: no the puppers are safe thank goodness


pure one: then what's the problem?


jejuboo: have u noticed perf team being weird with minghao all day


pure one: if by "being weird" u mean obsessively watching his every move then yeah


jejuboo: well minghao thinks that soonyoung hyung likes him


pure one:

pure one: oh no

pure one: do u think he likes minghao?


jejuboo: honestly i have no clue i've been too absorbed in watching jeonghan hyung slowly plot chan's undoing to really notice


pure one: and u call urself a good wingman?


jejuboo: listen jeonghan hyung's plans are actually really interesting he's very thorough


pure one: well we need to figure this out

pure one: if soonyoung likes minghao then what are we gonna do?


jejuboo: ugsdlfkjsdfsdflsdf i KNOW I KNOW WE NEED TO GET THIS SORTED

jejuboo: try investigating k? i'll snoop around too dw


pure one: okkkkkk i'll ask around

pure one: tomorrow tho bc if i ask rn everyone will accuse me of having The Dream again


jejuboo: oh lol right

jejuboo: did the monkey ever kill the president?


pure one: I DON'T KNOW :(



jejuboo: i'm sure you'll find out one day

jejuboo: be patient, young one


pure one: i'm trying :c



trauma (13) — 5:03 am




snoozi: Oh fuck no. 

snoozi: Not again.


jejuboo: this song will always be relevant hyung

jejuboo: fight me


snoozi: Don't test me when I'm tired.

snoozi: My half-conscious body will not hesitate to destroy you.


sandsol: seungkwan maybe u should stop before he decides ending u is the fastest way to go back to sleep


generic dad™: please we can't lose more members


svt's secret vocalist: i'm still not dead but ok


angle: jihoon already fell back asleep we're fine


softshua: according to the time we have left until we're supposed to leave the dorms

softshua: i don't really think we're fine


angle: why can't u just let me have one happy moment


softshua: carats can be your happy moment

softshua: go get dressed now please


angle: yes sir


the maknae™: ok but who stole my socks


wonweewoo: i think we all know who


hurricane: lemme guess

hurricane: Team Dad™?


my i supremacist: bingo


generic dad™: why are all my children against me?


the maknae™: bc u habitually steal our stuff???


generic dad™: well.

generic dad™: i suppose that's true.


softshua: cheol


generic dad™: yes shua


softshua: get up and get dressed right now


generic dad™: ...yes shua


jejuboo: dad™ is being targeted

jejuboo: i like this


my i supremacist: u just feed off of misery


jejuboo: this is tru


softshua: seungkwan :)

softshua: get ready please :)


pure one: why are ur fists clenched so tight


softshua: no reason :)




the maknae™: joshua hyung is the reason i fear waking up late


softshua: good.


snoozi: Guys, the managers are here.

snoozi: We have to go.


sandsol: when did u even get ready??


snoozi: I've trained myself to get ready for the day when I'm still only sort of awake.


minghoe: ...can u teach me how to do that?


snoozi: Yeah.

snoozi: You have enough pent up rage to learn my technique properly.


hurricane: i can vouch for that


minghoe: i didn't hit u that hard


hurricane: the blow may not have hurt

hurricane: but your w o r d s

hurricane: i have scars, minghao

hurricane: s c a r s


generic dad™: well on that note



jejuboo: every day is bring ur kid to work day for u, huh?



generic dad™: LEGGO


minghoe: n y o o m