change up (13) — 4:53 pm
generic dad™: not to be dramatic here
generic dad™: but i think mingyu is dead
angle: the kid's been dead inside for years tho
hurricane: tell us something new Leader™
softshua: is this about him falling down the stairs
softshua: because i swear i saw wonwoo push him
wonweewoo: don't incriminate me
wonweewoo: it was probably jihoon anyway
snoozi: I may be made of pure anger but I didn't touch the giant.
hand soap: honestly i think it was wonwoo hyung
hand soap: i saw the jealousy in your eyes when he sang in trauma
hand soap: i'm no fool
the maknae™: debatable
hand soap: rude
jejuboo: dude u can't just take out ur äNG(k)st on mingyu just bc u wanna sing
wonweewoo: first of all, i DID NO SUCH T H I N G
wonweewoo: second, fight me boo seungkwan you get a fuck ton of lines
the maknae™: hyung have u ever looked up the word angst in ur phone's dictionary
snoozi: I spend my time doing more productive things, Chan.
hand soap: ouch
hurricane: "origin: 'fear'" bitch me too tf
minghoe: i can't believe our most angsty member didn't even know about this
softshua: honestly jihoon isn't our most angsty member
jejuboo: then whom??
softshua: that should remain a secret for now :)
hand soap: ominous but ok
tol pupper: i still can't believe u tried to off me hyung
wonweewoo: if you keep trying to frame me i just might actually off you
jejuboo: oh shit
tol pupper: suddenly i remember tripping on jun hyung's underwear??
my i supremacist: dude tf
tol pupper: it was u or me man
my i supremacist: it should've been u
jejuboo: OH SHIT
generic dad™: mingyu pls stop making enemies you might really die at this rate
tol pupper: honestly? that's the goal
angle: tbh same
pure one: do u guys need hugs or sth
angle: yes please
pure one: On It
softshua: man i never knew he could run that fast
jejuboo: hugs fuel him
change up (13) — 5:26 pm
hand soap: ok i think it's time to address the elephant in the room
jejuboo: u heard him junhui it's time to expose urself
my i supremacist: what
generic dad™: do i want to know
hurricane: honestly? no
generic dad™: noted
my i supremacist: i don't understand this but i feel as if i'm being m o c k e d
jejuboo: ur always being mocked tho?
angle: yeah this isn't anything new
my i supremacist: tru
generic dad™: wait what was hansol actually trying to talk about though
snoozi: Oh right.
[hand soap has changed the chat name to "trauma"]
hand soap: our time to shine has come
[generic dad™ has changed hand soap's name to "sandsol"]
sandsol: but why
sandsol: ok fine that's fair
sandsol: but can we also
[hansol changed tol pupper's name to "svt's secret vocalist"]
svt's secret vocalist: i'm ok with this title
angle: welcome to the vocal team, kid
angle: a word of advice...don't piss of jihoon
snoozi: Good advice.
svt's secret vocalist: ...was that a threat
snoozi: A lot of the things I say double as threats.
svt's secret vocalist: fair enough
my i supremacist to: hurricane — 7:03 pm
my i supremacist: ok what the hell did you mean earlier
hurricane: ur intense Love™ for minghao???
my i supremacist: wh
hurricane: don't u "wh" me
hurricane: are u seriously trying to tell me that u aren't aware of ur own feelings
my i supremacist: ?????? what feelings???????
hurricane: oh my g o d
hurricane: so u mean to tell me that you aren't at all conscious of the amount of time u spend staring at his ass during practice
my i supremacist: to be fair i stare at everyone's hindquarters
hurricane: h i n d q u a r t e r s
my i supremacist: are u telling me u don't get a kick out of minghao's derrière?
hurricane: STOP IT
my i supremacist: never
my i supremacist: i live off of other people's discomfort
hurricane: ...ok honestly me too
hurricane: not the point tho
hurricane: u stare at the guy 24/7
my i supremacist: pshhh no i don't
hurricane: u dropped all ur laundry in the middle of the hallway earlier bc u were staring at him so intensely
hurricane: ur fixation almost murdered mingyu
hurricane: it's kind of amazing that nobody's noticed tbh
my i supremacist: dude i don't even like guys??
hurricane: DO U REALLY BELIEVE THAT
hurricane: THAT'S HILARIOUS
my i supremacist: B O I
my i supremacist: what would u know about liking guys anyway??
hurricane: another funny question
my i supremacist:
my i supremacist: w8
my i supremacist: WHAT
hurricane: i'm not about to out myself lmao
hurricane: just know i'm about as gay as u seem to be
my i supremacist: well since i clearly don't know anything about that i'll just sit around in the dark for a while
my i supremacist: bye soonyoung thanks for CONFUSING ME
hurricane: anytime man
my i supremacist to: the maknae™ — 7:24 pm
my i supremacist: on a scale of 1-10 how gay do u think i am
the maknae™: like a solid 13
my i supremacist: fucking great
the maknae™: why
my i supremacist: idk soonyoung and i talked earlier and it's got me all messed up
the maknae™: wdym?
my i supremacist: idk i just
my i supremacist: didn't think i liked guys?
my i supremacist: but now that i'm thinking about it
my i supremacist: well
my i supremacist: thinking about minghao
my i supremacist: and i mean like actively thinking about him not like the way he's been occupying my empty head for like three weeks
my i supremacist: it feels different
the maknae™: ...so do u like him?
my i supremacist: FUCK chan i don't know
my i supremacist: i think so???
the maknae™: listen...i get that ur realizing things and that u probably won't come to a complete decision for a while
the maknae™: but if u do like him
the maknae™: i think u've got a pretty good shot with him
the maknae™: and i'll be here to help u with anything u need, ok?
the maknae™: soonyoung hyung too, no matter how much he harasses u
my i supremacist: yeah
my i supremacist: yeah i know
my i supremacist: thanks man
the maknae™: no problem hyung :D
the maknae™: try and get some rest and think it over, k?
my i supremacist: i will
trauma (13) — 8:41 pm
angle: have u seen minghao
softshua: no i've been watching a movie with seokmin
angle: i have to beat him
softshua: i feel like i might regret asking this
softshua: but, again, why?
angle: he taped like 20 pictures of his face all over my bed
angle: and he managed to slip a different picture of himself into every crevice i can see in here
angle: everywhere i go i have to see his f a c e
minghoe: you'll never catch me hyung
minghoe: i have a powerful barrier
generic dad™: is that why you're hiding behind me
angle: GET THE HELL OVER HERE U DEMON CHILD
minghoe: N E V E R
trauma (13) — 8:57 pm
wonweewoo: did anyone else hear that big thump
svt's secret vocalist: that was probably the sound of minghao's life ending
sandsol: finally we're free
jejuboo: damn. stone cold.
sandsol: he hid my shoes last week
sandsol: he's dead to me
the maknae™: i understand
svt's secret vocalist: you would rly throw him away for ur fuckin crocs
generic dad™: your what now
angle: suddenly seventeen only has 12 members?
sandsol: fuck off crocs are comfortable and functional and sofia gave them to me so i love them
snoozi: Does she hate you?
snoozi: Then why would she give you those horrible things?
sandsol: THEY'RE REALLY NOT THAT BAD
the maknae™: yeah u say that but jeonghan hyung seems to be deleting all pictures of u from his phone as we speak
generic dad™: it was nice knowing you hansol
hurricane to: my i supremacist — 9:14 pm
hurricane: u've been staring angrily at ur toast for a good five mins now
hurricane: u good?
my i supremacist: i haven't been ok since Fergie's 2006 release of Fergalicious
hurricane: that's oddly specific but i feel it
hurricane: and i meant the whole minghao thing
hurricane: is it messing with u?
my i supremacist: i mean yeah i'm kind of questioning everything about myself rn
hurricane: well shit
hurricane: i knew i shouldn't have said anything
my i supremacist: nah
my i supremacist: i'm glad that u did
my i supremacist: it's given me a lot to think about
hurricane: the thought of u being introspective terrifies me
my i supremacist: since when do u use the word introspective
hurricane: since wonwoo started making me come to his book club meetings
my i supremacist: ...ur telling me wonwoo has a book club
hurricane: yeah we meet on the first sunday of every month to talk about literature
hurricane: susan always brings snickerdoodles
my i supremacist: what the fuck i want susan's snickerdoodles
hurricane: but do u read
my i supremacist:
my i supremacist: no
my i supremacist: do u????
hurricane: yes i read but i will never tell u my favorite genre
hurricane: there are some things that i'm not willing to admit man
hurricane: and i already have wonwoo sworn to secrecy so don't even try
my i supremacist: should i be concerned
my i supremacist: got it
dance dance (4) — 11:19 pm
hurricane: yes my child
minghoe: why are u looking at me like that
hurricane: none of ur business my child
the maknae™: the real question is
the maknae™: why am i the only one actually practicing the choreography
hurricane: don't act innocent maknae we all know ur just doing it to look hotter than all of us on stage
the maknae™: that i cannot deny
minghoe: too bad it'll never work
the maknae™: b i t c h
minghoe: why has jun been staring at himself in the mirror for so long
hurricane: if i looked like him i’d do the same thing tbh
minghoe: fair enough
the maknae™: wh
minghoe: should i be scared?
the maknae™: definitely
minghoe: time to escape while i can!
jejuboo to: minghoe — 11:43 am
jejuboo: is it just me or has the entire performance team been staring at u for the last 10 mins
minghoe: for once ur right seungkwan
jejuboo: i don't need the sass ok
jejuboo: fr tho wtf is going on here
jejuboo: are they planning to kill u or smth
jejuboo: bc if so
jejuboo: i can't rly blame them
minghoe: and i seriously don't know???
minghoe: u didn't expose me, did u?
jejuboo: if ur asking if i blabbed about ur giant crush jun
jejuboo: aka the guy u regularly tie urself to and call it a dance
jejuboo: then no i didn't
jejuboo: if anything is gonna give it away it's the way u eat him up with ur eyes every time he dances lol
minghoe: don't roast me ok the man is fine
jejuboo: i'm JUST SAYIN. ur kinda obvious. maybe they all just Know.
minghoe: ur not making me feel better
jejuboo: oh did u want support sorry i'm much better at mockery
minghoe: why did i even tell u i like jun
jejuboo: bc i caught u like sobbing over him @ 3 am and u couldn't stop urself from spilling everything to me???
minghoe: bad times
jejuboo: anyway u should rly get chan to stop looking at u like ur an idiot it's starting to piss even me off
minghoe: oh i plan on stopping him
minghoe: i'll just need a sock and some butter
jejuboo: oh that boy is d e a d
the maknae™ to: minghoe — 12:13 am
the maknae™: STOP IT
minghoe: OPEN THE DOOR
the maknae™: NO U HAVE A BUTTER SOCK
the maknae™: I DON'T WANNA DIE TODAY BOI
minghoe: THEN TELL ME WHY THE ENTIRE PERF TEAM HAS BEEN STARING AT ME SINCE PRACTICE
the maknae™: FUCK NO
minghoe: THEN PREPARE FOR DEATH
the maknae™: LKSJDFSDF WHY ARE U SO STRONG
minghoe: I CARRY THE WEIGHT OF MY SINS
minghoe: AND UR ABOUT TO BECOME ONE OF THEM
the maknae™: I DON'T DESERVE THIS
minghoe: DO U REALLY BELIEVE THAT
the maknae™: HONESTLY NO
the maknae™: BUT I'M NOT GOIN DOWN LIKE THIS
minghoe: JUST TELL MEEEEEE
the maknae™: I'M NOT ABOUT TO EXPOSE HIM
minghoe: EXPOSE WHO
the maknae™: FUCK I'VE SAID TOO MUCH
trauma (13) — 12:18 am
wonweewoo: did anyone else just hear chan scream
snoozi: It was kind of hard to miss, yeah.
angle: so we lost 4 members today then??
softshua: seems like it
generic dad™: well now we have to make up a new elaborate explanation for our number of members
snoozi: No one even believes the current one though.
generic dad™: I KNOW
angle: well we're doomed i guess
my i supremacist: i knew someday we'd die out one by one
my i supremacist: this many crazy guys can't live together without some casualties
hurricane: that's dark but ur not wrong
minghoe: i guess since hansol is dead i should bury him with his crocs
sandsol: why r u acting like i really died
sandsol: and why do u require my death to give my crocs back
minghoe: do u hear that? sounds like a ghost
sandsol: i don't deserve to be treated this way
svt's secret vocalist: debatable
minghoe to: jejuboo — 2:49 am
minghoe: i've been thinking about why perf team was staring at me
minghoe: and why soonyoung especially is being really weird about it
jejuboo: what are u getting at here
minghoe: i think
minghoe: i think soonyoung might like me?
jejuboo: wait do u actually
minghoe: i mean not really but?? it's the only reason i can think of
minghoe: if they were gonna do something weird to me it would've happened by now
minghoe: and chan and soonyoung make lots of really dramatic eye contact
minghoe: jun doesn't rly seem to care tho
minghoe: it's fine
minghoe: my feelings about jun aren't important right now
minghoe: i just need to know if soonyoung actually likes me
minghoe: wanna help me figure it out?
jejuboo: oooookayyyy i guess i can try to scout around
minghoe: thanks man
jejuboo: yeah of course
jejuboo to: pure one — 3:10 am
jejuboo: we have An Issue
pure one: why what happened were any puppers injured???
jejuboo: no the puppers are safe thank goodness
pure one: then what's the problem?
jejuboo: have u noticed perf team being weird with minghao all day
pure one: if by "being weird" u mean obsessively watching his every move then yeah
jejuboo: well minghao thinks that soonyoung hyung likes him
pure one: oh no
pure one: do u think he likes minghao?
jejuboo: honestly i have no clue i've been too absorbed in watching jeonghan hyung slowly plot chan's undoing to really notice
pure one: and u call urself a good wingman?
jejuboo: listen jeonghan hyung's plans are actually really interesting he's very thorough
pure one: well we need to figure this out
pure one: if soonyoung likes minghao then what are we gonna do?
jejuboo: ugsdlfkjsdfsdflsdf i KNOW I KNOW WE NEED TO GET THIS SORTED
jejuboo: try investigating k? i'll snoop around too dw
pure one: okkkkkk i'll ask around
pure one: tomorrow tho bc if i ask rn everyone will accuse me of having The Dream again
jejuboo: oh lol right
jejuboo: did the monkey ever kill the president?
pure one: I DON'T KNOW :(
pure one: THE COUNTRY COULD BE IN SHAMBLES FOR ALL I KNOW
jejuboo: i'm sure you'll find out one day
jejuboo: be patient, young one
pure one: i'm trying :c
trauma (13) — 5:03 am
jejuboo: 이제 WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE WAKE UP
snoozi: Oh fuck no.
snoozi: Not again.
jejuboo: this song will always be relevant hyung
jejuboo: fight me
snoozi: Don't test me when I'm tired.
snoozi: My half-conscious body will not hesitate to destroy you.
sandsol: seungkwan maybe u should stop before he decides ending u is the fastest way to go back to sleep
generic dad™: please we can't lose more members
svt's secret vocalist: i'm still not dead but ok
angle: jihoon already fell back asleep we're fine
softshua: according to the time we have left until we're supposed to leave the dorms
softshua: i don't really think we're fine
angle: why can't u just let me have one happy moment
softshua: carats can be your happy moment
softshua: go get dressed now please
angle: yes sir
the maknae™: ok but who stole my socks
wonweewoo: i think we all know who
hurricane: lemme guess
hurricane: Team Dad™?
my i supremacist: bingo
generic dad™: why are all my children against me?
the maknae™: bc u habitually steal our stuff???
generic dad™: well.
generic dad™: i suppose that's true.
generic dad™: yes shua
softshua: get up and get dressed right now
generic dad™: ...yes shua
jejuboo: dad™ is being targeted
jejuboo: i like this
my i supremacist: u just feed off of misery
jejuboo: this is tru
softshua: seungkwan :)
softshua: get ready please :)
pure one: why are ur fists clenched so tight
softshua: no reason :)
jejuboo: SUDDENLY I'M VERY MOTIVATED TO GET READY
the maknae™: joshua hyung is the reason i fear waking up late
snoozi: Guys, the managers are here.
snoozi: We have to go.
sandsol: when did u even get ready??
snoozi: I've trained myself to get ready for the day when I'm still only sort of awake.
minghoe: ...can u teach me how to do that?
snoozi: You have enough pent up rage to learn my technique properly.
hurricane: i can vouch for that
minghoe: i didn't hit u that hard
hurricane: the blow may not have hurt
hurricane: but your w o r d s
hurricane: i have scars, minghao
hurricane: s c a r s
generic dad™: well on that note
generic dad™: COME ON KIDS WE'RE GOIN TO WORK
jejuboo: every day is bring ur kid to work day for u, huh?
generic dad™: YES AND IT'S EXHAUSTING
generic dad™: LEGGO
minghoe: n y o o m