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Mission: Ichijou

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A girl with blue hair was holding a camcorder.  She held it up and faced her, all nervous-like.  She turned it on, as the video camera played.  She was young, with blue Nekomimi hair, with cat ears sticking out, and is wearing a black shirt and pants, with a protective vest, she made herself.  She was also holding a gold championship belt, with the letters “2-D” in red, white and blue.

She was obviously impersonating WWE Superstar, The Shield’s Dean Ambrose.

She then spoke, “Serizawa’s log…  Class 2-D, day: Friday, weather: sunny; I came in to tell you to believe in Akane… Believe NOT in Ichijou… Believe the Shield.
Anyway, I could not hold it in, any longer, on Ichijou, a while back, involving her and her true form…   I’m hiding here, until this goes away.  If someone gets this, tell them that I miss you so, everyone.  Huh?  You want to know why I am hiding?
Well, it all started, last month… when we would show our summer reports to the class.  And Miss Ichijou, Class Rep of 2-C, invited me in, as a play for being her robot… which I used my robot costume.”

She walked robotically to 2-C, as she beeped, “I am a robot built by Miss Ichijou!  PEEKO!”

Rebecca Miyamoto huffed, “Nice try, Serizawa.  Now would you PLEASE go back to your classroom?”

Minutes later, They were both out in the hallway.  Serizawa sighed, in her robot costume, “I thought it would work.”

Ichijou, a girl with a blue cardigan and yellow uniform, said, “I’m sorry.”

Her stomach growled, as she added, “Please excuse me.  I must be hungry.”


She opened her uniform, revealing a chrome exterior of her chest and abdomen.  She placed a small crystal in the middle of her body and started to glow.  She moved again, as Serizawa cried, “I-I-I-Ichijou!  YOU’RE THE REAL DEAL???”

Ichijou asked her, “Do you want some?”

Serizawa stammered, as Ichijou offered some to her.

She sobbed, “I can’t take it.  It has been months since I saw it…  I never knew Ichijou would be weird… but… I don’t trust her.  She’s a scary woman!  No…  She’s a robot!  And I was the only one!  Damn her!”

She sniffled and said, “But…  That wasn’t the end of it.  Ichijou, the class rep, was more than just a robot…  But it is a terrible story.  Thanks to my covert tactics, as a spy, since I look bitching in Kevlar, I wanted to find out.  But…  I’ll have to start at the beginning…”

She adjusted the camera, as she said, “Well…  It all started, last week… when I couldn’t stand it, anymore…”

Enter, if you will, Akane Serizawa, a sophomore girl from the Drama Club in Momotsuki Academy High School, in the midst of a horrible freak-out, by her schoolmate, Ichijou.  A cosplayer wanting to play numerous roles, and a small slip-up exposed her of seeing the most shocking moment of her fellow student.  Serizawa has entered a road of the most bizarre student in Momotsuki Academy and is concerned over the girl, who is more bizarre than she ever is.  See, Serizawa believes that Ichijou is an android, built to be a perfect student… but is it paranoia, mistaken identity, or simply a figment of her imagination?
Akane Serizawa, Cosplayer extraordinaire, has stumbled onto The Ichijou Zone… otherwise known as… a Tale of the Bizarre

“Tales of the Bizarre” in:
Mission: Ichijou

Days ago, Akane, in her pink cardigan and yellow school uniform, was shivering, as she was still remembering the image of Ichijou’s bare chrome exterior.  She then said, “I can’t take it…  Someone’s got to know.”

She narrated, “After weeks passed, I had to tell my classmates in 2-D, even though they don’t believe me, the truth.”

She approached a boy with glasses and white hair, as she was nervous.  He turned to her and asked, “Yes?  What do you want, Serizawa?”

She asked, “Hey, you want to know a secret?”

He said, “I wish…  If this school has secrets, I’d be in a bit of a pickle.  But then again, this place has no secrets… since it’s nuts.”

Serizawa pleaded, “I have to tell you!  It’s about Ichijou in Miss Miyamoto’s class!”

He sighed, “Don’t care.”

Akira Miyata, a girl with short red hair, asked, “Huh?  What is it about Ichijou?”

She shook in fear, as she stepped forward.  But then, she fell on her face, on the floor.  Serizawa said, “Okay…  Promise that you won’t breathe a word to anyone.”

Tsurugi Inugami griped, “IS THIS ABOUT ICHIJOU?  You’re obviously stating the facts, already!”

Serizawa hissed, “I’m trying to confess about this woman!  She’s no ordinary 16-year old girl…  She’s…  She’s…”

She whistled, as she tried to speak.  She confessed, “I THINK ICHIJOU IS A ROBOT!!!”

Inugami sighed, as he sat up, “That’s it.  I’m out.”

He walked off, as she pleaded, “NO! NO! NO!  Don’t walk away!  It’s not what you think!”

Inugami asked, “And what makes you so sure about that?  Do you have any idea what kind of ridiculous nonsense you made?”

Serizawa sobbed, “No fair…”

She wept, “I swear I saw her, as a robot.”

Akira said, as she was rubbing her head, “Now that you say that, I think there is something weird about Ichijou.  It’s no wonder she pesters at Miss Watanuki.”

Akane asked, “Does she know?”

Akira said, “Sorry.  I guess it is not proven…”

Serizawa sighed, as she sat down, in disappointment.  Inugami suggested, “How about this?  Why don’t you wear your robot costume in class, tomorrow, and see if Ichijou will communicate with you.”

Akane said, “I think so.  She did recruit me, as a robot for her.  But… I don’t know…  Me, having to be a robot, all day long…  Will it work?  Maybe I should ask her a question about myself, asking her…”

Inugami said, “She obviously knows all of us, through disguises, but it’s worth a shot.”

Media, a girl with long lime green hair and a maid outfit, listened on, as she said, “This sounds mysterious.  Maybe I can find out why Serizawa is frantic over Ichijou.”

Akane argued, “Well, I think maybe she’s trying to keep me from sparing her secret!  If you recall, she spared my life, after foiling Becky’s Kick the Can challenge, stopping me from remedial exams.  Doesn’t that sound weird?”

He said, “She just wanted to kick it…”


She growled, “I’m going to find out, soon enough.”


“And you guys will help me.”


He left to the study hall, as he said, “Later.”

She shouted, “LISTEN TO ME, DAMN IT!”

Akira said, “Calm down, Serizawa…”

Serizawa growled, “Fine.  I don’t need your help!”

She marched off, as she went to the Drama Club.  Media, smirking as usual, decided to help out.  But she needed one more person to help.  She approached a girl with black hair and glasses and said, “Behoimi, Serizawa needs our help!”

Behoimi was snoozing on her desk.  She muttered, “What is it, Media?”

Media explained, “Serizawa thinks that the Ichijou girl in Miss Miyamoto’s class is a super-powerful, state-of-the-art cyborg, built to destroy Japan… or something.  We need to help out, so I figured that we should bring out the Magical Girl, Behoimi!”

Behoimi groaned, “No.”

She went back to sleep, as Media grabbed her glasses and said, “You have to transform, Soothing Magical Girl!!!”

Behoimi cried out, as she tried to reach for her glasses, “HEY!  Give them back!”

She chased her off, as Media ran around the classroom, holding her glasses.


Moments later, at 2-C, Serizawa was on the ceiling, as the girls in 2-C were writing down the notes on the chalkboard.  She viewed Ichijou, from above, and whispered, “There she is…”

She was camouflaged in white, matching the ceiling, as she viewed a camera at her.  All Ichijou was doing is sitting in the desk, motionless and not moving.  She then thought, “Hmm…  She must be low on her battery.  Well, don’t think you can become a doll, Ichijou…  I’ll expose you as the robot girl you are.”

She then looked down and gasped, seeing a plug in her skirt, dangling over her feet.  She whispered, “A plug?  I knew it…”

Rebecca Miyamoto, a little girl with blonde hair, announced to her class, “Just to be sure, make sure to memorize the study notes for the exams, Friday.”

Serizawa shook a bit and yelped, “AH!  Almost…”

A girl with long black hair and glasses, with a white shirt and huge breasts, raised her hand, “Becky, I think there’s someone here, spying on us.”

Akane gasped, “ACK!”

Becky asked, “I don’t see anyone.”

Mesousa, a white bunny, saw Serizawa, and gasped, “OHHHH!  Hey…  Is that Miss Serizawa?”

He was about to call for Becky, as a figure in a bright cyan hue halted him, from under the desk.  He said, “Be quiet, meow.”

Mesousa whispered, “What are you doing here?”

“Body heat, meow…” a cat with ears and a huge body said.

He disappeared, with his huge eyes and smile visible… and then vanished.  Mesousa shivered, as Becky asked, “Does anyone have seen hallucinations?  Ichijou?”

Serizawa smirked, “Poor android girl.  Too bad your battery is--.”

Ichijou said, “No, I do not.  I don’t see any visions.”

Serizawa thought, as she was shocked, “NO WAY!  She can still move?”

Ichijou stood up and said, “I stood up.”

Becky huffed, “You sure did.”

Ichijou asked, “May I use the restroom, Ma’am?”

Becky said, “Hurry back.”

She walked off, as Serizawa snarled, “Damn!  I want to see her, so badly…  Maybe I should examine the girl’s bathroom and see for myself.”

Miyako, a girl with a green sweater and glasses, called out, “Ma’am…  Now I think I hear voices…  Sounds like someone I know.”

Rei said, “Oh, please.  Like you’d hear her voice, you bookworm.”

Miyako barked, “I swear I hear someone, damn it!  Grr…”

Becky asked, “Who do you think?”

Serizawa cried, “NO!!!”

She dove into the ceiling and disappeared into the darkness.  Miyako replied, “Oh, I don’t know.  Probably that Hibiki Watanuki again.”

Becky said, “I swear, Mister Saotome has to keep her in line.  Okay, Miyako, take your seat.”

Rei whispered to her, “Hey, worm…  That wasn’t Watanuki…”

“I know,” Miyako replied, “What is Serizawa doing, anyway?  I better find out.”

She whispered to a girl with brown hair, and is transparent, “Hey, Kurumi…  You mind if we talk, after class?”

Kurumi asked, “Oh, what for?”

Rei cried, “You’re asking her to help?”

Becky called out, “Kurumi!  Rei!  Miyako!  PIPE DOWN!”

They said, “Yes, Ma’am…”


At the girl’s bathroom, Ichijou went inside, as Serizawa snuck in, in stealth.  She walked into the stalls, as Ichijou stepped inside a bathroom stall.  She locked the door, as Akane whispered, “Crafty.  Maybe I can find a way to get in.  She’s next door…”

Ichijou whispered in a fast-motion, as Serizawa was in astonishment.  She whispered, “Alien language?”

She stepped out and went to the stall that Ichijou stepped in.  She opened the door and saw… nothing.  Just a toilet and tile flooring.

“She…  She’s gone?”  She thought, “Ew!  And she didn’t wash her hands…”

She said, “Nice one, robo-Ichijou…  But it won’t work on me.”

She looked down and saw a black battery with an Alien’s head on the label.  It was a small AA battery.  She cringed, “No way…  Another clue…  But how could she be a robot?  This is not right…  She goes to the bathroom, and vanishes, she has a plug on her, and she runs on batteries.”

She heard a faint voice, “My name is Ichijou, the class rep.  My name is Ichijou, the class rep.”

She heard it, through the wall and said, “Is that her?  The only side on this area is… the boys’ bathroom.”

She shuddered, “No.  I can’t go in there.  No, I just couldn’t.  But I want to know!”

She said, “Maybe I should ask her teacher.”

She walked back to her classroom, as she pondered, “This is too bizarre.”


One hour later, Serizawa, in a black suit and a Kevlar vest, saluted to Becky, who was in her break room.  She said, “Ma’am.  Crisis is happening in 2-C, Ma’am!”

Becky glared, “Go away, Serizawa.”

Serizawa asked, “But, Ma’am, it’s about Ichijou, the class rep-bot!”

“Rep-Bot?” Becky asked her, “Tell me, was she trying on your Roboko costume?”

“No…  It’s just…”

“And why the get-up?  You’re not in the Secret Service.  Granted you’re not in the mafia.”

“Well…  I wanted to meet her, face-to-face, wanting to learn more about her.  She acts weird, but she’s the definition of crazy.  And well…  Remember when Ichijou introduced me to you?”

“Yeah, I remember…”

“After that…”

Serizawa then bit the bullet and told her about Ichijou the robot.  She then said, “After she offered me to have some of her power core, I ran away, in fear.  I cannot take it!  WHAT IS SHE???”

Becky asked, “Tell me, were you curious about her, Serizawa?”

She glared, “…and so much that you had to spy on her, in my class?”

Akane bowed and apologized, “Forgive me…  It just made me so concerned.”

Becky said, “You’re obviously paranoid.  Why don’t you take a walk and think about it.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“By the way, lose the vest.”

Akane walked away and said, “Yes, Ma’am.”


Serizawa was sitting in a bench, still thinking.  She said, “It’s just so odd.  I mean, all the clues…  It’s like my hunch is correct, after all.”

She sat up and looked at the clear sky.  She said, “Well, as long as I am right, I’ll try Inugami’s idea.  Roboko will ask her.  And maybe I’ll spill the beans on her.”

She got up, as Ichijou walked past her.  She stopped for a moment and said, “Here.  Feel my heart.”

Akane gasped, “WHAT?”

Ichijou said, “Feel my heart.  Promise.”

She said, “Oh, okay.  I’ll try…”

She placed her ear on her chest and suddenly heard a ticking sound.  Ichijou whispered, as she bowed forward, “Are you interested about me, Miss Serizawa?”

Akane was frozen in fear, as she asked, “I knew it…  You’re the real deal…  YOU’RE A ROBOT!”

Ichijou asked, “Huh?  What are you talking about, Miss Serizawa?  I am Ichijou, the class rep.”

She reached for her chest, as Serizawa cried, “CRAP!  A GUN!”

She dashed off, “YOU STAY FAR AWAY FROM ME!!!”

She disappeared, as Ichijou pulled out a pocket watch.  She said, “It’s almost 15 after 1.”

She walked away, as Ichijou was concerned, “Serizawa needs to relax.  I wonder why she asked me.”

Serizawa was by a wall, panting and shivering, while weeping.  “Why?  Why did I know about her?  I was right…  Ichijou is a robot…  And I know of her, only…  What’ll I do?”

She wept, as the sky was growing dark.

Meanwhile, Mesousa was at the vending machine, trying to order a can of juice.  He was nervous, as Lord Cat, the cyan cat, appeared by the machine.  Mesousa asked, “Huh?  What are you doing, outside?”

Lord Cat said, “It’s my day off, meow.  I needed to have a rest, after being cooped up inside, meow.”

He added, as he glared, “Tell me, bunny…  Would you be a suitable substitute for me, meow?”

Mesousa asked calmly, “But who’s replacing you?”

The vending machine opened, showing a blue-green salamander.  “It’s warm from body heat, kero!”

Mesousa groaned, “It’s not the same…”

The next day, Serizawa walked to her classroom, wearing her Roboko costume, which is a pink uniform with a metal box for a head and two metal pincers, still contemplating over her discovery, yesterday.  She thought, “Ichijou will be excited to see me, in this disguise.”

She sat down, as she was shaking a bit.  She spoke in a robot voice, “PEEKO!  PEEKO!  I am Roboko!”

Inugami asked, “Taking my advice, huh?”

Akane said, “Yes, I figured it’ll work.”

She whispered, “I’ll explain later… after class.”

He sighed, as he was upset, “I was just joking…  She’s obviously going through with it?”

Hours had passed, as Roboko was studying and writing.  She waited until the right moment, as the chimes rang.  She got up and said, “Wish me luck!”

She walked off, as Inugami smirked, “She’s screwed.”

At 2-C, Rei was reading a book, as Roboko approached her. She spoke, “Rei.  Rei.  A moment of your time. PEEKO.”

Rei asked, “What do you want, Serizawa?”

Akane opened her face panel, showing her face, said to her, “Well, if it is okay, can I talk to Ichijou?”

Rei asked, “Is it about Robot Ichijou?”

“How did you know?”

“Himeko heard it from Becky.  And she blabbed it to the entire class.”

“Aw, how stupid!  Can I still talk to her?  I mean, if Himeko told her, too…”

Rei pointed at Ichijou and said to Akane, “Well… Ichijou wasn’t told about it.  Of course, she hasn’t moved, since we finished our History lessons.”

Ichijou was still sitting, as Roboko walked to her, “Thanks.”

Rei smiled, “Oh, she’s such a crazy girl.”

Roboko asked her, “Ichijou.  I would like a moment of your time, Ichijou.  PEEKO!”

Ichijou turned to her and said, “Hello.  I am Ichijou, the class rep.”

Roboko beeped, “I am Roboko!  I am sure you recognize me.”

Ichijou turned away, in blank eyes, and said, “You’re so advanced for a robot, Roboko.  How would you like to speak, after school?”

Roboko said, “I’ll be available, as my programming can hold out.”

Ichijou smiled, “Okay.  How’s lunchtime?”

“Roboko accepts your offer, PEEKO!”

She walked away, as she said, “Until lunchtime, Ichijou.  Farewell!”

Serizawa said, as she went back to her class, “At last…  This nightmare is over.  I can finally rest easily.”


At lunchtime, Serizawa, in her robot outfit, waited for Ichijou, out in the courtyard.  She suddenly felt tired.

“Man, when’s Ichijou coming?”  She said, “It’s almost hot out, and I cannot take it.  Knowing how bright it is, my costume is making me sweat.”

She cried, as she sat up, “I SWEAR!  I’LL FIND THE TRUTH!  ICHIJOU!  If she is a robot, then Miss Miyamoto has a humanoid model in her classroom…  But then again…”

She imagined some of her students as robots, in her own unique imagination.

“Still…  If the others were robots, too, which they are not, then there are certain faults to each member…”

Himeko, a girl with short hair and a cowlick, was in her thought bubble, speaking the words “MAHO”, continuously, marching like a doll, with a key on her back.
“There’s Katagiri, for example, who says the same thing, again and again…  And she is often a broken record.”

Miyako, in her green cardigan, started to roar, as she was smoking profusely, about to explode.
“Then there’s Uehara.  If she were a robot, what are the odds that her temper would make her explode?”

Miyako Robot shouted, “DO NOT CALL ME WORM, DAMN IT!!!  DANGER! DANGER!”

Miyako exploded into pieces of metal.

Serizawa gasped in fright, “NO!  That would be too much anger!”

She thought, “Of course, Kurumi Momose isn’t the brightest of androids… If she were, she’d be ignored, like some outdated car.”

Kurumi Robot was on the ground, curled up in sadness, with a sign that says “Outdated Machinery”

She sobbed, “La La Lu~…  La La Lu~…”

Serizawa said, “And then there’s #6…”

Sayaka, a girl with blue hair in pigtails, and with a big blue bow on her uniform, kept saying sentences, with “…of the year” in the end.

#6 said, “It’s nice weather of the year.  Becky’s the teacher to stand to of the year.  This of the year.  That of the year.  This of the year.  …of the year.  …of the year.”

She kept speaking, in a loop, as Serizawa shook in disgust.

“Is that like her catchphrase?”  She thought sarcastically.

She then said, “Now I know Tachibana is not a robot…  I mean, with those gonzo boobs and her evil glare, she’d be a mechanical witch.  But…  I’m surprised that she easily scared Miss Miyamoto.  Maybe…”

Rei Robot stands up and holds her arm out to Becky, who was angry.

“BAD ANDROID!”  Becky shouted, “I’m your teacher!”

Rei Robot yelled, holding her arm out, opening her hand, “ACTIVATING BECKY REPELLANT!”

“Becky Repellant?!”  Becky asked.

Her hand produced a huge eye in her palm and fired a red laser shot.  Becky screamed, as she dodged out of the blast.  Minutes later, Becky was hiding in the curtain, completely scared.

“Hau, hau, hau…” she sobbed, “Hau, hau, hau…”

Serizawa stood up and barked, “There’s no doubt.  I doubt that Ichijou’s classmates are robots.  She’s the only one!  And I don’t care if I have to wait, and see if she comes!”

She then said, as she sat down, “Meh.  I can wait a while longer.  Class won’t start, until thirty minutes.  And I skipped lunch, just to be sure.”

She yawned, “AAAh…  Boy, this day sure gets weirder and weirder, by the minute.  What am I saying?  Ichijou a robot…  Like hell.”

She lied down on the bench and moaned, visibly tired, “Aahh…  Roboko needs to recharge, Peeko.”

Serizawa clicked off her eye on her costume and went into sleep mode.  Inside her costume, she fell asleep.

“Ichijou…  Robot…  Ridiculous… Zzz…”

As she slept, the sky began to produce clouds, as it blocked the sun, for a moment.

It was night time, and Serizawa was still sleeping.  The sky grew black, with stars shining out.  Serizawa powered on, as she sat up.

“Peeko!  Roboko reactivated!”  She said, robotically.

Akane cried, “HUH?  Aw, man!  I overslept!  I hope the others didn’t forget about me.  But I didn’t know!  What time is it?”

She got up, as she entered the school building, with some of the lights on.  She went to the first floor and looked around, as it was dark.  The windows let out a bright moonlight, as Serizawa kept walking the dark hallway.

“Hello?  Misao?  Inugami?  Media?  Behoimi?  Akira?”  She called, “Anyone?”

She continued to walk, as she headed to Class 2-C.  She looked up and said, “Huh.  Becky’s class.”

She entered the classroom, as it was clean and sterile, with the desks still in place.  No one was seated, except for Lord Cat and Mesousa, who was sitting by the window.  She then thought, “Maybe there’s something about Ichijou, inside her desk.”

She approached her desk and opened it.  Inside, she saw a four-legged creature, made of small pencils and a soda can.  Serizawa sighed, “Phew.  And here I thought she has WMD oil or silicon chips.  This is normal, I guess…”

Mesousa shivered, “Not normal for me…”

Lord Cat said to him, “You hate being missed, meow.”

“I do…  But I’m glad Ichijou isn’t here.  But why is Serizawa still here?”

“Not my problem, meow.”

He gave him a can of warm soda and said, “Here.  I saved you can, on the house, after my day off, meow.”

Mesousa said, “Thanks.”

Serizawa left 2-C, ignoring Mesousa.  She then entered her homeroom, 2-D.  She then saw a figure with long brown hair and a blue cardigan.  She shivered, “Who’s she?  And why is she in my classroom?”

She snuck in, as the girl was standing by the window, looking up to the night sky.  She had brown eyes and a small smile.  She was motionless, as she was still looking up.

“She looked familiar.  It can’t be her…  I’ve never seen her in her long hair, since the pool.”  She said, “Ichijou?  Is that you?”

She thought, as she crept slowly, “It’s her.  I recognize her cardigan, anywhere.  No one wears blue, other than Ichijou.”

She asked, “Hey, Ichijou, or whoever you are?”

She held her shoulder, as Ichijou started to move, grabbing her left hand.  Serizawa gasped, as Ichijou turned around, “Hello, Roboko.”

Serizawa gasped, “Miss Ichijou!”

She still held her wrist, as she said, “I’m surprised that you came to see me.  In fact, I am going to enjoy assimilating you, so you won’t know my secret.”

“Secret?  Assimilating?  Surprised?!”

“Come with me.”

Akane yelled, “LIKE HELL I WILL!”

She broke free, as she ran off.  Ichijou said, “There’s no need to run.”

She went to the doorway and opened the door.  But when she opened it, the entire background was completely black, with flying can monsters, floating in the abyss.


Ichijou said, “You knew about me, too much, Serizawa…  You saw me, after I offered you a taste of my core.  I wanted to refuel and offer you some, but you ran away, after that.”

Serizawa was completely nervous, as her knees shook in a metallic rattle, and her heart beating rapidly.

“I figured that you wanted to keep it a secret, but I guess it was too much of a burden…”

“Please don’t hurt me, Miss Ichijou!  I didn’t know!  Why would an android of you be here?”

“I am Ichijou, the class rep.”  She brushed her long brown hair and said, “And what I say… goes…”

She then said, as a huge spaceship arrived, outside the building, “You must come with me.  You’re the first person that knew of my secret.  And now, you must become a part of me.”

She went closer, as Serizawa was by the edge of the room, still terrified.

“How were you created, Ichijou?”

“Simple. I was created to observe life, including Miss Miyamoto.  It was a swell plan that lasted over a year ago, to learn of the little kid teacher.  But it seems you jeopardized the mission, when you found out about me.  For that, you must come with me.  The rest is classified.  You will understand, once we arrive at the ship.”

“But… You showed yourself to me.”

“Yes, but you, as a robot, in cosplay, seemed tacky.  We can make you into a robotic slave to us.”


Ichijou extended her hand to her, as Akane shivered, “NO!  NEVER!  I won’t tell!  I won’t tell!  Let me go!  Don’t make me into you!”

“You must come with me.”  Ichijou grabbed her arm, forcefully, as Serizawa screamed, “NO!  I won’t join you!”

Ichijou kept pulling, as Serizawa kept pleading to her to let go.

Akane screamed, as she tried to pull away, “NO!  NO!  I won’t join you!  I won’t!  NO!  I won’t!”

Akane was sleeping in the courtyard, moaning and crying, “No.  No… I won’t join you…  No!  No, no…”

She sat up and screamed, “AAH!”

She panted in fear, as she removed her robot head.  She breathed heavily, as she was frightened, with sweat dripping from her head.

“Man, what a nightmare…” she said, “And… Ichijou…”

She thought, as she looked at the clear sky, “It’s still day.  Was I imagining things?”

She cried, “I have to find Ichijou!”


Ichijou appeared, in her uniform, with her hair braided.  Serizawa screamed, “AAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

She bowed to her and pleaded, “PLEASE DON’T BE MAD AT ME, KNOWING YOU ARE A ROBOT?”


“Please don’t make me one of your alien androids!  I swear!  I didn’t mean to tell Becky!  I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!”

She sobbed and wept, as Ichijou asked, “Is that all?”

She replied, “I’m not a robot.  I am Ichijou, the class rep.”

Serizawa blubbered, “But…  It’s true!”

Ichijou said, “Serizawa, you need some bed rest.  Becky told Himeko, who told everyone, about your discovery.  I should tell you that I am not a robot.  You are.”

Serizawa gasped, “Huh?”

Ichijou winked, “Right, Roboko?”

Serizawa asked, “Is this a trick?”

“No, it’s not.  Becky was worried about you.  You’re not your usual self, today.  In fact…  We need to reprogram you back to this world.”

Ichijou approached her body and said, “Trust me…  I can understand if you wanted to know about me… But like I said… You’re the robot, Miss Serizawa.”



She opened her Roboko costume and showed a control panel with LED lights, gears, and wires.  Serizawa was shocked, as she thought that they were for show.  Ichijou said that they weren’t.

Serizawa gasped, “What are you doing?”

Ichijou fiddled into her circuitry and pressed a blue button.  Akane shook, as her body started to freeze.

Memory erased…  Running default programming… PEEKO!

She closed her eyes, and then opened them again.  She looked around and asked, “Huh?  Miss Ichijou?  Where am I?”

Ichijou said, “Class is about to start.  You should go, too.”

“You’re right!”  Akane said, “I have to change out of this robot costume.  See you later!”

She dashed off, as Ichijou bowed and stood in place.  She then said, “Works every time…”

She walked away, as Akane smiled on, as she was feeling better.  Or so she thought…


“WHAAAAAAAAAAAT???”  Akane shrieked, “Ichijou’s a robot?”

Ichijou, in her usual behavior, somehow erased the part of her, being a robot, from Serizawa.

Media pleaded, “We’re so sorry we doubted you.  Everyone in the school was shocked by her discovery…”

Inugami said, “Maybe it’s because the teachers don’t know it, yet.”

Akira said, “Miss Watanuki is on the case, right now!  I’m going to see her, after school, and start the discovery!  Somehow, she was energetic!”

Serizawa shook and trembled, as she was in a shocked look.  “W-W-who told you it?”

Media smiled, “Becky did.  She told it to her classmates; in which Himeko told me, Behoimi, and Misao, and Misao told it to Shiratori, who told it to Otome.  Rei told it to Kurusu, while Kurumi told it to Shu, #6 told it to Miss Igarashi, who told it to Old Geezer, who told it to Akira.  And soon, it was a huge epidemic of Ichijou Robot gossip, as everybody knew!  And we were all right, since we met her.”

Serizawa couldn’t speak.  Her voice croaked a bit.

Akira said, as the chimes rang, “Well, I better head to 2-B.”

Inugami walked past her and said, “I should go to study hall.”

Akira walked past Serizawa, but stumbled down, again.  She said, “I’ll never doubt you, again, Miss Serizawa.”

She got back up and walked out of the classroom.  Media laughed, as she pranced off, with Behoimi’s glasses, while Behoimi, blinded a bit, chased after her.  Akane was still stiff as a board, completely shocked.

“Wait…  Why didn’t I remember this?”  She shivered, as she started to whimper.

She held her head and was completely horrified.  She let out a huge shriek and said, “WHHHHHHHHHHHY???”

She ran off, running to the Drama Club room, and locked the door.

In the undisclosed area, Serizawa, in her protective vest and attire, whispered to the camera, as she was scared, “Well… That’s pretty much it.  It’s a true story… but I never thought it would happen to me…  I mean, Ichijou is a robot.  Plus, I don’t remember how I knew, only to learn that it was from after summer break.  I just wish… I remember… what happened, fully.”

She turned away and said, “I knew she was a robot.  And days past, and I suddenly remembered how Ichijou came to pass.  But…  One thing she said to me… and that’s…  Reprogramming me…  It can’t be true.  I mean, I’m not a robot.  The Roboko costume was for show and play!  So how did she fiddle with my costume?  I made it, myself, as a first draft!”

She then said, “Anyway, lots of you believe me… but… I never thought that the day ended… with me… being right… somehow…  Signing off.”

She threw the camcorder down and walked off.  She then sat down on a chair and said, “I knew it…  I knew it…”

She held her head and placed her head on a table.  She moaned, “Still…  Why didn’t I remember a thing?”

As she was on the table, moping, her neck showed a flashing LED light, blinking in red, on and off.  She moaned, as her light started to fade out.  She fell asleep and said, “Good night… Peeko…”


Meanwhile, up in space, a spaceship was orbiting over the Earth.  Three aliens were watching on, witnessing Serizawa’s video log.  They were black aliens with red, blue, and yellow trim.  The leader had a horn on its head, as he said, “Good.  This mission seemed successful.”

The blue alien asked, while viewing the control panel, “Captain!  The mission was a failure!  We sent down our drone to observe and learn of Rebecca Miyamoto.  And so far, nothing!”

The yellow one said, “It’s a possibility, sir.  Our Nekomimi Drone was to observe, but she malfunctioned into a mess, leaving her sentient.  Nekomimi-1 was brought here, disguise as a high school student, in order to observe Earth High School.”

The blue one added, “We managed to retrieve the video data from Nekomimi-1.  She seemed very tense about keeping a secret.”

The captain, in his chair, said to them, “Indeed.  But we learn of our mistakes.  Nekomimi-1 was our brightest project, impersonating a young girl with such talent.  How easy it was for her to break down and feel pain, over another of our creations. That is why we sent our clone of one of Miyamoto’s students, while she was sick, to reprogram Nekomimi-1.  She won’t suspect a thing, knowing that she was simply following orders, to observe this planet.  We’re only observing Rebecca Miyamoto.”

The blue alien gasped, “Is that even right?”

“Yes.  And I had our drone made to resemble one of them… in order to grow close to Nekomimi-1.”

Ichijou arrived in the deck, as she sat by the captain.  She kneeled down and responded, “Mission complete.  Our Nekomimi-1 is currently stable and fully operational, after her sudden breakdown.  Ichijou-san will recover in 0800 hours, tomorrow.”

The alien captain blushed, as he held her, “You’re so cute, when you succeed in your mission.”

He gave her a kiss, as Ichijou blushed, “Yes, sir.”

The blue alien huffed, “My captain has a fetish for this thing…”

The yellow alien whispered, “Don’t make him mad, now.  He created her in the same design as Nekomimi-1.”

The alien captain called out, “Well, for now, let’s go home and try again, tomorrow.  Have Ichijou Drone reprogrammed and into my quarters.  Her mission is complete.  We’ll have Nekomimi-1 observed, under probation, in our watchful eyes.”

The blue alien said, “Yes, sir.”

He sighed, “Why me?”

He left to his quarters, as the Ichijou Drone sat down in his chair.  She said, “I sat down.”

The blue alien said, “You sure did.”

The ship flew off, leaving Earth.

Exit Akane Serizawa – A robot girl who came from space, and who knew too much of her fellow classmate-slash-experimental human, in order to learn of the planet Earth.
While her robotic capabilities were flawless, her acts of human kind were roughly useless, in which she almost discovered a cold truth.  Because, there is an old saying you have heard, time and time again: “Don’t believe anything you hear…”
Especially in… a Tale of the Bizarre