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A Lunarian's Guide To Teaching (As Provided By Her Shady Youkai)

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Nightfall had covered Gensokyo and the sleepy human settlement closed its doors and businesses for the day finally.

All but one building that was; the school.

That detail however wasn't unusual as Keine was known to hold after school lessons for both adult humans and youkai alike to help them attain some core skills to aid them in their day to day lives, along with steadying the bonds between the two.

A lesser known fact was that Eirin, the resident doctor had a knack for teaching, well, at least the humans were not aware of such a detail anyway. Little did they know of the lifelong lessons that were given to the likes of the cunning princess, the bright moon rabbit and the powerful lunarian sisters that were currently leading Luna just to name a few that the brain of the moon has mentored.

So when she was confronted by Keine and Kaguya to teach a lesson, they knew she wouldn't say no. They knew the lunarian was a firm believer of spreading knowledge and wisdom, lest it improves the community around her.

Even more so of a reason that she wouldn't decline was because it was Yukari who suggested it.

The Yukari that Eirin couldn't deny since their entertaining encounters and war games ceased and vice versa for the youkai. The Yukari that had become a staple in her life on a romantic level. The Yukari who had her wrapped around her thumb with little resistance from the lunarian herself.

It was a first in terms of unexpected relationships being established, the second spot going to Keine and Kaguya respectively.


"The History Of Electron Bonding?" Eirin asked whilst they walked through the village as she read from the booklet in her hands, "Yukari was sure that individuals were interested in learning about this?".

Kaguya swung Keine's hand as the two walked with the doctor and the latter answering, "Yes, she asked around and was just as surprised to hear how popular of a topic that was".

"If Gensokyo isn't the strangest place, Eirin, then I do not know what is" the princess chuckled and snuggled up to Keine who smiled back.

"That'd be a word to describe it" Eirin agreed whilst reading the notes Yukari left for the lesson, "When did she even have time to do this?".

"It wouldn't be difficult with her means of traveling and transport" Kaguya answered.

"True enough, she has been busy lately with dealing with Kasen, Okina and the recent incident".

They approached the school building and she held the door open for Kaguya and Keine to go in first as she thought through this strange and random task that her lover had given her. Eirin was more than used to Yukari's spontaneity but teaching a class full of youkai about the origins of electron formation?. That topped the unusual scale.

She had barely had a chance to see the blonde as of late and was slightly dejected that she could not have mentioned this to her in person, or half person sticking out of a gap tunnel.

"Eirin, you are not nervous are you?" Kaguya questioned teasingly.

"Don't be ridiculous now. I'm merely dumbfounded at the lesson notes she has prepared. Not only that but I am wondering just exactly who has turned up".

Keine and Kaguya exchanged a knowing smirk, "You'd be surprised. You will do wonderfully, if there is anyone who is qualified to instil knowledge into individuals then it is you, Eirin".

"And you, teach" the princess added towards Keine as the trio stepped in front of the door to the classroom.

"Well, you are a hit with the children so I guess it is safe to say that maybe teaching is a knack for lunarians" Keine smiled and kissed Kaguya's nose, making the woman curl up into her shoulder to cover up the blush she was experiencing.

She mumbled something into Keine's neck that Eirin couldn't quite make out but it made Keine grin and run her hand down the dark hair in comfort.

The historian certainly had her way with the princess Eirin thought with amusement.

"You know you both do not have to accompany me, I am sure there are better things that you would rather be doing" Eirin said as nonchalantly as she could knowing that it'll flustered Kaguya up that much further.

"No no, we will be happy to join in" Keine answered when Kaguya moved off her and was back to her coy self and smiled in a way that Eirin knew could never be a good thing.

"Exactly. Besides, we promised Yukari we would be on stand by just in case your students become a handful".

"I can't imagine there will be that many here to begin with but as you wish. Shall we?".

Keine nodded and entered the classroom with the lunarians following her.


Eirin was made to eat her words as she saw the numbers of just how many actually turned up as her blue eyes ran around the room. She had a response itching to be spoken but the amount of faces that were waiting for her was rather unsuspecting.

Not only how many but whom.

Remilia was sat in the middle, legs crossed over the other and her wings casually fluttering slowly as she tried to keep a neutral gaze that didn't say that it was about time Eirin showed up to deliver the lesson.

Seiga was sat at the front, her signature smirk on her face whilst leaning back on her chair, cigarette in hand. Eirin wondered if she knew it was a no smoking zone though even Keine hadn't said anything yet.

Then there was Youmu, a definite unusual case as being a half ghost didn't really do much in terms of knowing just how electrons bonded with other chemicals yet she looked ready as ever to learn.

Even the celestial, Iku was there and smiled at Eirin when their eyes met. Actually, Iku's presence was probably the least shocking so far as Eirin recalled just what her powers and spell cards consisted of so maybe she wanted a refresher.

Yuuka, Eirin wasn't sure as to her need for the knowledge. The flower master nodded politely and she was sat next to Iku too which made the doctor wonder if had they come together. On a date perhaps. Though she heard rumours about Tenshi's interest in Yuuka so maybe that wasn't the case.

Still scanning the group, Eirin was anxious as to what could bring Byakuren to this study session, the priestess looking as calm as ever if not slightly too rigid and she knew why when she glanced over to the other side of the room.

Out of all people, Miko was sat there, side eyeing the Buddhist but not in the way Eirin had normally seen her do; with an air of obnoxious authority and pride. She also seemed rather flustered and fidgety in her seat when she nodded her acknowledgement that Eirin was watching her.

The list of unsuspecting attendees increased with Hatate, Yuugi, Alice and Kanako being there.

"Kanako? What brings her here? She should know all about the advances and creation of electrons. I wonder if Yukari knows she is here".

Eirin glanced back towards Keine and Kaguya, the latter giving her a look that said, "Told ya" with a wink.

"Good evening all, I hadn't realised so many of you were interested in this topic" Eirin said as she faced her 'students' again.

"Well, Lady Yukari did say you were the most knowledgeable in the subject therefore I couldn't pass up the opportunity to attend this impromptu lesson" Youmu commented, "Lady Yuyuko insisted I attend".

Eirin was flattered at how highly her companion thought of her despite Yukari's sometimes childish and irritating attitude.

"Indeed" Iku replied with a slight blush on her face, "The heavens do not delegate time to such matters like this that I feel would benefit Ten- uh all celestials".

"Is that so, I would've imagined you would be familiar with the more technical side of this, Iku".

The celestial cleared her throat as Yuugi pat her back after giving her a thumbs up and a few of the other's grinned at her appraisingly.

"Ah well, I am little dusty you see. It isn't often I get to partake in such activities these days" she answered.

"As expected of someone who has to constantly keep an eye on a curious celestial like Tenshi" Eirin thought.

"Even you, Kanako? I would have imagined that this is your forte if anything".

The goddess chuckled and shrugged Eirin's words away, "You are too kind, even I need a refresher once in a while. You and I both know that knowledge is endless, even in matters like this".

"That is indeed so" the lunarian agreed, "Well, I am more than thrilled to be here and to help you gain any insight that will help better your innovative research or general thirst to learn".

Eirin smiled and felt her pride swell at knowing individuals wanted to learn, to use their time wisely to better themselves and the lives they lived.

Even more so was just how supportive Yukari was to go out of her way to prepare this for her with the help of Keine and Kaguya, who admittedly, were rather giggly than usual as Keine passed the doctor some notes and whispered, "Yukari said these would help to kick the lesson off" before winking and being dragged by Kaguya to the side of the room.

"Thank you" she said and faced the women again and took a light breath in, "I appreciate you all coming here to venture out into a world that is both fascinating, riveting & invigorating; I do hope you enjoy it".

A chorus of approval, nods and thank you's ran around the room as all eyes focused on her.

Kaguya and Keine took a seat near the door of the room where they could see Eirin's face, both huddled together as they tried to prepare themselves for the lunarian's lesson.


"Let's begin. The subject that I shall discuss in a thorough and precise manner revolves around the world of.." Eirin started as an introduction whilst she read out the title on the first page, "The History of Lesbianism".

Her face paled as soon as the words slipped out of her mouth and she did a double take to hope that she had mistaken what she had read but to her horror, the topic was indeed; all that one could know about lesbians.

The students in the room became even more alert as they anticipated the lesson ahead such as Remilia trying and failing to look as disinterested as possible, Seiga leaning forward to get the doctor's attention, Youmu preparing to take notes and Alice blushing to the base of her neck as she sat up. Kanako bit her lip and smirked at Eirin in such a way that could qualify as a blatant come on.

Eirin wondered how Yukari would feel about that.

Though speaking of said incorrigible gap youkai.

It made complete sense now to Eirin why all the women seemed a bit too flustered and overtly timid compared to their usual personalities if Yukari had told them about the true nature of subject.

The way she was describing it at the beginning thinking she was talking about electrons probably got them all encouraged too.

After all, nobody got that excited over electrons, not even the kappa.

"Yukari...Yakumo.." she grit out between her teeth till the sounds of held back laughter came from the side of the room.

Keine and Kaguya were trying their hardest to keep a straight face as their hands squeezed each other's to help ease the bubbling giggles from erupting. Eirin's death gaze did nothing to calm the two down and their fake light coughs to conceal the hilarity increased. Of course Eirin would kill them for helping Yukari troll her but they deemed it worth it just to see how the level headed doctor would play along with this.

At that point, the lunarian wasn't quite sure whether Kaguya was a bad influence on Keine or whether it was Yukari who was the influence on both the younger women.

"Three guess which" she internally scoffed.

But Eirin was a professional regardless of what it was, she would handle it in an orderly fashion and organised a list in her head.

Teach first.
Kill her gap youkai.
Kill the moon princess.
Kill the hakutaku.

So she took a deep breath, plastered a smile onto her face, glared at the teetering duo and then started her lesson.

"So, contrary to the stereotypes imposed upon us from the heteronormative world, the origins and existence of lesbians and other sexualities span from well before the modern age or aspects such as religion existed... "




50 minutes later...

Eirin had to hand it to Yukari, the lesson planning was as thorough and precise as could be. It covered everything needed to know about relationships between two women.

From the dating to the sex, the history to break up's to marriage, it was safe to say that things were definitely learned. She herself had picked up a few things and that was saying something what with being a sage. It was evident that Yukari was certainly a more refined sage when it came to females, "How else did I end up with her?" she joked to herself.

Everyone was engaging and sharing details and stories so things were learnt on a peer to peer basis too. It was nice to see that despite their differences, the act of love and loving did bring people together. More so that Gensokyo provided a much more safer haven for these women to be themselves and that was including the abilities they had. Not that they couldn't swiftly deal with homophobic behaviour that was. It was an eye opener to see how each individual viewed their sexuality and how they embraced it and Eirin was more than appreciative of them sharing their thoughts.

She was still going to kill Yukari of course.

The last few minutes were spent on heated debates and an onslaught of questions that made Eirin wish she could teleport it out of there before it turned to questions about her and Yukari's sex life. They were certainly an inquisitive bunch which was a great attribute to have though Eirin wouldn't have minded it not to revolve around her so she was grateful when Hatate had brought up the safer subject of kissing.

Or so she thought.

"Woah woah wait a sec, so lemme get this straight, you can get a woman off just by kissing her?" Yuugi exclaimed as she leaned over her desk to where the tengu was.

"Well it definitely works for Sanae" she grinned but suddenly shrunk back a tad when she saw the look Kanako was giving her, "Hey, she knows what she likes, you can't get mad at me for that!".

"Don't worry, me and Suwako get to hear that often enough" the goddess flatly replied.

Eirin had already untied the top few strings on her dress to cool off as the group had shared some more than intimate moments with their other half's. She wasn't the only one as she noticed Youmu's buttons undone, Alice's neck tie on her desk as well as Iku's hat off.

In the hour, the doctor had learned of all the on goings of the sexual lives of most of Gensokyo, including those that were not present and she wasn't entirely sure what to make of it though it looked like the other two culprits were clearly having a field day.

Keine and Kaguya simply looked on with feigned innocence though the Princess had taken initiative in dishing out their own on goings much to Keine's embarrassment.

Seiga's hand went up to get Eirin's attention, "Can you and me try out that theory?".

"I have a feeling you'll end up getting a taste of Yukari's parasol if you keep hitting on her" Remilia quipped, not that the hermit seemed deterred by it.

Eirin coughed lightly and continued on, "That is correct, Yuugi. Hatate's rather descriptive details of the affects of kissing with Sanae are quite common. For women, sensual and soft tends to be a great start".

"That's crazy. Something new to try on Parsee I guess but we oni are a bit more rougher ya know?".

"Well Eirin did go through tips on how to do it more gently but effectively" Remilia stated as a matter of fact, "If you date a human or a species as delicate as your bridge princess, you have to be softer or else you'll break and hurt them".

Eirin wanted to die, kill Yukari first and then die as she tried to conceal the blush on her face at what Remilia was obviously hinting about Sakuya.

"Is that a tried and tested means, Miss Scarlet?" Miko asked casually, "And does that apply to human turned magicians?".

"Why would you need to know that?" Byakuren questioned with a raised eyebrow.

The Taoist quickly averted the piercing gaze thought it was rather obvious to everyone why she wanted to know.

"Between yourself and Alice, it is a wonder" Kanako laughed.

The puppeteer turned seven shades pink whilst Byakuren's response dwindled down when she saw Miko busy herself with something quite fascinating on her bracelet.

"I don't know about Miko but I would definitely love to be between Alice and Byakuren".

The duo glared at Seiga who blew out a trail of smoke towards the two women and when she spoke their names with a sultry tinge.

"Hey speaking of Alice, who'd you need the tips for? Isn't Yuuka satisfying you right?".

The blonde was mortified at Yuugi's not so casual question.

"Excuse me?!".

"Miss Hoshiguma, I don't believe Miss Margatroid would be one to reveal such details" Youmu piped up without taking her eyes off the notebook she was writing on. The gardener had barely stopped writing the moment Eirin had started to speak and Byakuren was sure she saw smoke being emitted with how fervently Youmu was jotting notes down, "It's not very lady like".

"Ha, Yuyuko loves talking about what you both do over a nice meal and I bet with all the things you've learnt, she's going to be reeling with new stories. You're very dexterous aren't you, Yuyuko appreciates that very much" Kaguya pitched in and saw the woman give her a hard stare.

"Kaguya, please" Eirin said in a bid to calm the smirking princess down.

"To answer Yuugi's question" Yuuka interjected and locked eyes with Alice, "I regret to inform you that I'm not bedding Alice though I would certainly be up for that task".

"Yuuka!" Alice balked within a stutter, "The feeling isn't mutual so it's not your business. If you must know, Patchouli and I..".

"Are getting cosy between the books" Remilia offered with a teasing wink.

"Ooh the librarian!" Yuugi repeated, "The quiet ones are the rowdy ones! Nice goin!".

"Huh, so she is strictly clitly" Seiga added for good measure.

"Kill me now" Alice muttered.

"Me too, Alice, me too" Eirin internally thought and shook her head whilst reinstating how badly she was going to kill Yukari.

"That aside, what would be the best way to set the mood in order to try out these techniques you have so graciously shared with us?" Iku questioned before Byakuren ditched her calm and composed nature and beat the ever loving hell out of Seiga as she continued to tease her much to Miko's annoyance..and jealousy.

"It is important to make sure that you are both on the same page firstly. I believe in terms of Tenshi, you can take her on a date somewhere she'd get fully interested in since I hear she likes adventure, something to get her blood pumping".

"You mean like running through my garden? I can tell you she gets riled up when I chase her, Iku. Perhaps you should try that" Yuuka suggested and gauged the celestial's reaction.

She was no stranger to Yuuka's previous relationship with Tenshi and Eirin could've sworn she saw the well mannered woman mutter a profanity before thanking Yuuka for her advice as sarcastically as possible.

The last thing the lunarian needed was ex's using Keine's classroom as a place to settle who was better.

Though at that point, Keine would slightly deserve it Eirin concurred.

"Only you will know your spouse well enough to derive what they would like to do in any of these situations. Sometimes spontaneous sessions can be a great way to liven things up" Eirin added and tucked away the booklet and then smiled unnervingly at the wind goddess, "Kanako, do not hesitate to talk to Suwako about what you would also like to try in the bedroom, even goddesses can become slightly tiresome of routine which I am sure you know all about".

"Damn" Yuugi and Kaguya said simultaneously as Keine covered her mouth to conceal a laugh at how proud Eirin looked, it was endearing.

Hatate chuckled as she saw Kanako lose her laid back stance for a second before her smile returned.

"Oh we already have thank you, she was more than content with the idea of you joining us for a night. Or if you'd like, just you and me as there are a few things I would revel in making you feel. I'm sure Yukari won't mind".

The room erupted into whistles from the more boisterous individuals, the odd impressed eyebrow raise coming from Miko, Youmu and Yuuka instead

"Why, Eirin, I do believe you are being courted" Keine said dramatically as Kaguya clung onto her with the giggles again.

She rolled her eyes and gave Kanako a playful scowl, impressed by her quick retort before turning her attention to everyone else.

"I believe that is all we have time for today. It is getting late and some of you have travelled a distance" she said, a dejected batch of groans going around.

She could still appreciate their willing attitude to learn even if electrons couldn't be further on their minds.

"When's the next lesson?" Seiga asked as she floated up off her chair, "Maybe we can discuss the results of your teachings. I'd be more than happy to demonstrate..".

"Practical learning is more efficient I hear" Remilia added for the sake of it when she saw Eirin search for words at Seiga's flirting again.

"I'm sure Yukari will let you know" came her reply that was laced with a tone that said she was slightly pissed with the blonde.

"Well I certainly look forward to it".

"I'm with Lady Kanako on that one" Hatate piped in as they all made their way out of the class.

"Thanks for help doc" Yuugi grinned.

"Thank you for your time" Alice added with a smirking Yuuka behind her.

"My pleasure, please give my regards to Patchouli" the lunarian smiled.

"I bet she will".

"Shut up, Yuuka!".

"Make me" she teased as the two left with their bickering continuing.

"Indeed, your guidance has been fruitful" Iku bowed before leaving with the oni and Remilia.

"Ah, you are all welcome, thank you for dropping by and have a safe journey home" Eirin replied politely as the last of the group left the room and closed the door.




As soon as she heard the group leave the grounds, Eirin took in a deep breath and then turned around to see Kaguya & Keine preparing themselves as they paced back.

"Soo.." Kaguya forced a smile at the unamused look Eirin was giving them, "That was fun right?".

The doctor just sighed again, "I'm not going to kill you so you can stop cowering behind Keine, who I also have to add should also receive my wrath".

"Ah, I'm sorry Eirin, Yukari is incredibly persuasive as you know" the historian replied and wrapped an arm around Kaguya when she stepped out from behind her.

"Besides, you enjoyed that" Kaguya grinned and pointed at her.

Eirin shrugged and walked forward to take a seat at Keine's desk, "It was quite the experience I'll give you that".

"I've never seen a more engaged group of youkai prior to this".

"You have a lot to learn about the joys of discussing women, Kaguya".

The voice came from behind Keine and Kaguya with Eirin already on her feet when she saw the gap appearing.


Yukari had the right sense to step back with her hands up as Eirin approached her. The other lunarian moved Keine near the door, she didn't really want Keine to be drenched in Yukari tears and leftovers after Eirin was done with her.

"I missed you too darling" she innocently said as she continued stepping back, "How was class? I'm so sorry that I couldn't join you, Okina is such a pain".

"Must be a youkai sage trait, darling. You are incorrigible" Eirin said but just looking at the coy and stunning face was wreaking her resolve to present Keine's class with a new skeleton model, courtesy of the blonde.

Yukari lowered a hand and stopped, "Me? Never. Though from the looks of it, you completely turned my little game around. There were a lot of content individuals leaving the building from what I saw" she praised, "Nothing less from you of course".

"If you think sweet talking me is going to get you out of this, you're wrong" Eirin replied and folded her arms across her chest in a bid to look annoyed but Yukari thought it was the cutest.

She walked towards the doctor and placed her hands around her waist, "How about sweet kisses?".

"Smooth" Kaguya quietly marvelled at the way Yukari was able to calm the doctor down.

"I'm not pleased with you still" Eirin said between Yukari's lips but was failing in holding back after not having had seen the blonde in ages, "You're still a pain".

"One that you love obviously" the youkai smirked and opened a gap behind Eirin, leading her slowly to it", "Now, why don't we head back where I can give you a few lessons, hm? Would you like that?" she suggested between kissing down Eirin's neck.

"H-hey I am not done telling any of you off yet" Eirin gasped out and pushed Yukari back gently, "You're still in trouble".

Yukari produced another gap behind herself instead just as Eirin reached for her again and she disappeared through it walking backwards with a smirk at the other two women, "Well, you'll have to catch me in that case, Eirin".

The doctor stopped part way from going into the tunnel and faced Kaguya and Keine, a finger pointing from one to the other.

"I shall deal with you both later".

Yukari popped back & pulled the doctor towards the gap by her collar and the other two women had noticed that the youkai's dress was already unlaced, ready to take off which left them rather impressed at the seconds that it took.

"Deal with me first doc" she smiled flirtatiously and dragged them both into the gap with a panicked Eirin sighing Yukari's name.

Silence filled the room up until Kaguya giggled and watched the violet line disappear, her excitement for the evening sated at seeing her old mentor succumb to her lover's interesting sense of humour.

"We really must do that again sometime, don't you think Keine?".

The click of the lock closing got the giddy Princess to face Keine who was leaning back against the door.


She had a very readable look on her face, one that Kaguya had become familiar with since they'd started dating. Only this time, the smouldering gaze in her eyes was enough to make the lunarian falter a bit due to the weakness attacking her knees at the moment.

"As much as you were engaging in the lesson, Princess, I did us both the favour of paying attention to the notes".

"Is that so?" Kaguya replied, her throat drying as she watching the teacher pulling the red necktie out of its knot slowly and letting it flutter to the floor.

"I believe it is so" Keine smiled as Kaguya got closer, "Though, actions are louder than words".

"That they are" the lunarian said above a whisper as Keine pulled her into her arms and engaged in some Hatate style making out.

As both were avid believers of learning to teach and teaching to learn, Kaguya and Keine proceeded to recreate the ways of their mentors in a staff only study session.

What better way to learn than a hands on approach after all.