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Kiss Me Like You Wanna Be Loved

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Hinata had always loved kisses. One of his favorite childhood memories was of his mom tucking him in. He would lie in his bed and she would come to his room and gently pull the covers over him. She would then sing him a lullaby and he would close his eyes and let her sweet voice guide him to sleep. Right before he slipped away to dreamland he would feel the gentle press of her lips against his forehead. Hinata would relax completely at that and his breath would even out.


**

When Natsu was born he was delighted to find out she was a touchy-feely child, much like himself. They would often cuddle when watching movies and whenever he played dolls with her she would hug him tight and kiss his cheek. He absolutely loved the open-mouthed kisses she pressed against his cheek while she was still trying to learn how to do it. Hinata was always gentle with her, even as the hyperactive child he was. He would help his mom tucking her in and follow her gesture of leaning down and ever so gently pressing his lips to her forehead.


**

When Hinata went to school he was seen as quite the odd kid. He kissed his friends hello and goodbye because that was what they did at home. One day his mother was called to the school and Hinata was puzzled because he hadn't done anything wrong. He stayed alone in the hallway as the teacher talked to his mom. When she came out her face was red, her eyes were glassed over and her mouth was pressed into a thin line. She managed to give him a smile and offered him her hand. He clung to it like it was his lifeline and asked his mom what was wrong. She told him not to worry, that they would talk at home.  

When they got home she made them both some tea and sat with him in the living room. She told Natsu to go play so it was just the two of them.

"Shouyou, you can't kiss your friends," she said, sipping on her tea.

Hinata frowned and tilted his head to the side. "Why?"

"Kisses are only for people you are close to," she smiled fondly at her beautiful boy.

"But I'm close to my friends..." Hinata whispered.

"Closer than that, Shou," she chuckled and placed a hand on his cheek. "Kisses are only for people you love very much," she caressed his cheek.

Hinata's frown eased at her touch and he leaned into it. "Okay, okaa-san," he said and closed his eyes.

After that day the only people Hinata kissed for a long time were his mother and sister.


**


Hinata was in middle school when he learned what mouth to mouth kisses were. He was having lunch with Izumi and Kouji when the subject of girls was brought up.

"You got another confession?" Izumi asked Kouji in disbelief.

"What? You're always in such a bad mood!" Hinata pointed out, shoving more food into his mouth.

Kouji clicked his tongue and looked away, a light blush rising to his cheeks. "You're just jealous you don't get any confessions."

"What? No way!" Hinata squealed, his mouth full of food.

Izumi shrugged and ate some more.

"Yes, way! You both want a girlfriend so you're jealous I'll get one soon!" Kouji smirked.

Hinata shook his head and swallowed his food. "That's not true. The girls are nice, they even help me practice volleyball, but I don't wanna date them." Hinata scrunched up his face at the thought.  

Izumi laughed at that and shook his head. "You'll date someone eventually, Shou-can!"

"What do you even do when you're dating, anyway?" Hinata asked and stuffed his mouth with more food.

Izumi and Kouji looked at each other before bursting into laughter. Hinata choked and spluttered indignantly.

"What?" he demanded, several grains of rice flying from his mouth.

"You're so naive, Shou-can," Izumi said with a grin.

"If you're so mature then tell me! What do people do when they date?" Hinata raised an eyebrow and put his bentou down to cross his arms over his chest.

"You talk," Kouji started.

"Hold hands," Izumi followed.

"Kiss," Kouji added.

"Wait," Hinata raised his hand. "Kiss? I already do that," he said and tilted his head to the side.

"Not like your mom, idiot," Kouji said and shook his head.

"You kiss their mouth," Izumi explained.

Hinata's eyes widened and his hand shot up to his mouth, his fingertips very carefully touching his lips. He dropped his hands and looked at them, frowning.

"Their mouth?" he asked. They nodded and watched him. "Is it... does it feel nice?"

"I wouldn't know. I haven't kissed anyone yet," Kouji shrugged and took another bit of his food.

"I think it looks a bit gross," Izumi said.

Hinata hummed in thought and let the subject die. He really wanted to kiss someone on the mouth.


**


Hinata's first kiss didn't happen until his third year in Middle School. It was a month before their graduation and Izumi was over at his house. They were watching a random movie with lots of fighting and superpowers but neither was paying much attention.

"Kouji sucks," Hinata mumbled, pouting from his side of the couch.

Izumi frowned and turned around to look at him. "Why?"

"Because he ditched us to stay with his girlfriend." Hinata grabbed a pillow and hugged it to his chest.

Izumi's expression softened and he chuckled. "Can you really blame him?"

"Is she really that good of a kisser?" he asked.

"I wouldn't know but she must be if Kouji would rather snog her than watch a movie with us," he laughed and Hinata threw the pillow at him.

"Stop joking. This is serious," Hinata sat up on his knees, facing Izumi.

"What is?" he asked.

"Kisses. It's a serious thing," Hinata crossed his arms over his chest.

"You think so?" Izumi tilted his head to the side and watched Hinata.

"Yes! I mean, maybe not to you and Kouji because you've had your first kiss. But to me it is! I haven't kissed anyone yet," he mumbled and pouted again.

Izumi shook his head. "You're wrong," he said and Hinata's pout faded.

"About what?"

"I haven't had my first kiss," Izumi said, looking away.

Hinata's mouth fell open. "UWAAA?! But you said you had kissed Kadowaki-san from 2-B!" He yelled.

"Hush! My parents will hear it, idiot!" Izumi hissed and threw the pillow back at Hinata, hitting him square in the face. "I lied so Kouji would stop pestering me about it!"

"So you haven't kissed yet! I'm not the last!" Hinata squealed and started jumping up and down on the couch.

"Shouyou... Shou-chan, get down!" Izumi grabbed his arm and pulled him down so they were sitting next to each other. Hinata turned to him and laughed.

"I'm glad you haven't had your first kiss either," he said. "Means we are like the same!" Hinata beamed.

Izumi shook his head and smiled. "Whatever," he shook his head and turned back to the movie.

Hinata did the same and leaned his head against Izumi's shoulder. A few minutes passed when Hinata asked.

"Do you think it feels good?"

Izumi looked down at him. "They say the more you like the person the better it is," he said.

Hinata was quiet for a little longer before he pulled away with a gasp. "I have an idea!" He announced and Izumi eyed him suspiciously.

"What?"

"You haven't had your first kiss. I haven't had mine. Maybe we could have ours together! Just to get it out of the way and know what it's like. I mean, you're my best friend and I like you so it will probably be good, right?" Hinata rambled.

Izumi was about to laugh it off but saw that Hinata was serious. "Really?" he asked. Hinata nodded eagerly. "I guess... I don't see why not."

"How do we do it then?" Hinata asked, calming himself down and crawling closer to Izumi.

"I don't know. I've never done it before," Izumi whispered and Hinata felt his breath against his lips.

"Okay... Let's just..." he closed his eyes and leaned in. Izumi did the same and their lips pressed together.

There was no spark, no great revelation, no flood of heat burning every inch of his body. It was a kiss. It was just a kiss.

They pulled away and opened their eyes, looking at each other for a brief moment before turning away and sitting down side by side.

"That was..." Izumi started.

"Okay?" Hinata offered and looked at him.

Izumi smiled and nodded. "Yeah. It was okay," he said.

Hinata smiled at him and leaned his head on his shoulder. "Finally we got that out of the way! Maturity, here we go!" He squealed before bursting into laughter along with his best friend.


**


Hinata's second kiss was a total accident. He hadn't thought about girls or kissing since that night with Izumi. He sometimes thought something was wrong with him but when he met Kenma his worries were assuaged. If Kenma didn't need a girlfriend neither did Hinata. He never thought about anything except for volleyball, so it came as a shock to him when it happened in an afternoon during his first year of high school.

He was running with Kageyama as per usual. Both were running full speed, trying to beat their rival. They had the habit of stopping at intersections and waiting for cars to pass before taking off again. It had been a long day and Hinata was tired and all he wanted was to beat Kageyama and go home. As they reached an intersection Hinata forgot to stop and continued on full speed.

Kageyama was about to complain when he saw a car coming. Without even thinking he grabbed a pole with his right hand and Hinata's wrist with his left. He pulled Hinata back and swung him forward so that they rotated around the pole. The harsh movement causes them to fall just as the car drove full speed past the spit Hinata had been a second before.

Hinata's eyes opened and then widened as he saw Kageyama's eyes directly before his. More than that he felt a soft press against his lips. He blinked rapidly and pulled away immediately when he realized him and Kageyama were kissing. What had just happened? One moment he was running and the next he was on the ground, lips pressed to Kageyama's. He was still trying to process everything that had happened when Kageyama started shouting at him. Hinata his face in his hands, blushing in embarrassment. He thought Kageyama was yelling in disgust but then he realized what he was truly saying.

"YOU COULD HAVE DIED, YOU DUMBASS! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT CAR WOULD HAVE DONE TO YOU?! ARE YOU STUPID ENOUGH TO THINK THAT A DUMB COMPETITION IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WATCHING OUT FOR YOURSELF? IF YOU DIE YOU CAN'T BEAT ME, YOU IDIOT! WE AGREED TO STOP AT INTERSECTIONS FOR A REASON!" Kageyama continued yelling.

Hinata dropped his hands and looked up at Kageyama only to be greeted with pain on the left side of his face. He groaned and cupped his left cheek with both hands, blinking away the black spots clouding his vision. Once he regained focus he looked at Kageyama.  The boy was shaking, his face was red and his fists were balled up at his sides.

"D-Did you... Did you just... punch me?" Hinata asked, letting one of his hands drop.

"You. Almost. Died," Kageyama growled, pronouncing each word with unsettling clarity.

"What are you talking about?" Hinata asked, still unsure of what had happened.

"The car, Hinata!" Kageyama yelled. "You were running and a car was coming your way. You didn't even fucking see it! If I hadn't pulled you back you'd be dead right now! DEAD!" Kageyama pulled his arm back and Hinata braced himself for another punch but it never came.

Kageyama had buried his face into his hands and was breathing heavily. Hinata reached for him very slowly and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"K-Ka-Kageyama?" He asked.

Kageyama's head snapped up and Hinata leaned back, eyes wide. Kageyama's face was still red and he was glaring at Hinata but there were tear stains on his cheek.

"A-Are you... Are you crying?" He croaked out.

"You scared me, idiot! What would I do without you? What would we do without you?" Kageyama glared at him.

Hinata didn't know what pushed him to do it, but he threw his arms around Kageyama's shoulders and hugged him tightly, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. Thank you for saving my life," he whispered.

Kageyama's shaking subsided bit by bit and he wrapped his arms around Hinata, hugging him close as if he might disappear.

"Never pull this shit on me again," he growled and Hinata chuckled, nodding against his neck.

They stayed for a while, embracing in the middle of the sidewalk. The sun was setting when they pulled away. Hinata gave Kageyama a smile and stood up, offering him his hand. Kageyama grabbed it and stood up.

"Maybe we should walk the rest of the way home?" Hinata chuckled and Kageyama punched his side, way lighter than the face punch.

"Dumbass," he mumbled as they grabbed their bags from the ground before walking home in a comfortable silence.


**


Hinata's first real kiss - with tongue and everything - was at the end of his first year. The path to the Nationals had been long and arduous. Hinata gave all he had in their last game, the finals of the Nationals. When it was match-point and Kageyama sent him the last toss he slammed it down, past the blockers and straight to the end of the court. When the whistle sounded and their point was confirmed he froze. It was quiet for a few moments before the stadium erupted into noise. Hinata turned it out and turned to Kageyama, who was already facing him.

Without saying a word Hinata ran towards him and threw himself into his arms. Kageyama was already expecting him and caught him with ease, hand under Hinata's thighs. No words were needed as Hinata leaned in and pressed their lips together in a demanding kiss. Kageyama opened his mouth almost as if on cue and slid his tongue into Hinata's mouth. The older boy made a sound of approval and rubbed his tongue against Kageyama's. He had never French kissed before but with Kageyama it was natural. His body craved him more than anything.

A slap on his back awakened him to the time and place. He pushed himself away from Kageyama and fell to the ground with no grace. He looked up at his teammates, eyes wide.

“I’m sorry!” he yelled and though he was surely going to be scolded later the team broke into laughter and pulling him up.

They all crushed each other in an incredibly tight bear hug. As they all laughed and cried with happiness Hinata’s eyes caught Kageyama’s. And in that moment he was sure his heart was going to explode.

 

**

 

After the Nationals Finals Hinata and Kageyama became official. It wasn’t like it came without consequences, after all, they outed themselves on live television to the entirety of their country. Sure, there was a lot of hate directed towards them, but they were too busy with volleyball to notice. Besides, the people who mattered, such as their friends and family, were all supportive of them. They were also punished by the school - with one detention - and coach Ukai made sure they knew how disappointed he was with their behavior.

When the heat of the Nationals passed, however, the trophy won by the Volleyball Team was still the talk of the school, while Hinata and Kageyama were not. This was great for the couple who now got a little bit more privacy. The best part about finally dating Kageyama was that now they could do Hinata's favorite thing: kiss.

At first, the kisses were awkward, a lot of teeth clanking and noisy lip smacks (not to mention that time Hinata burped in Kageyama’s mouth and was banned from kisses for a weekday). Through practice, however, they slowly got the hang of it, progressing to more passionate kisses with more tongue and more touching. Hinata’s favorite kisses were body ones. He loved the gentleness of Kageyama’s lips, trailing open-mouthed kisses down his jaw, neck, collarbone, chest, stomach, reaching his navel before making his way back up. Those kisses left him a moaning mess. Hinata also loved kissing Kageyama, trailing his jaw up to the sweet spot right below his earlobe where he would suck a mark before leaving more kisses, and then down to his chest, paying special attention to his incredibly sensitive nipples. They explored every corner of each other’s bodies with their mouths, mapping it in their heads to keep it forever.

 

**

 

Hinata learned eventually that kisses could be sad. He first discovered it the year after he and Kageyama graduated from the same college. They joined different teams and Kageyama’s team was traveling abroad for a training camp. Hinata had been preparing himself for months for the day Kageyama left for the camp, but he was nowhere near ready when it came.

The whole team was at the airport and Hinata was accompanying them. He was in his usual bright mood, talking to everyone and joking around. He helped Kageyama check in his bags and they all went to have lunch. He was having a great time until the time came for Kageyama to walk into the terminal. The team walked in first and gave the two privacy to say their goodbyes.

Kageyama looked down at his boyfriend and gave him a sad smile. “I’m sorry I have to leave,” he whispered.

“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault.,” Hinata assured him, reaching up and cupping his cheek.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” Kageyama took a shaky breath and wrapped his arms tightly around Hinata, pulling him close.

Hinata chuckled and hugged him back for a bit. When he tried to pull away Kageyama only held him closer. Hinata could feel the dread start to set in. He didn’t Kageyama to see him crying. It was stronger than him, though, and he lost it. At first, it was a couple of tears but then he was bawling into Kageyama’s chest, tiny body rocking with sobs. Kageyama held him tighter, running his fingers through his hair. Hinata leaned into the touch but it didn't soothe his tears.

They had never been apart for so long. Those two months away from Kageyama were surely going to kill him. Ever since they got together they became one, intertwined so perfectly together that being apart was painful. Hinata knew, however, this training camp would be a turning point in Kageyama’s career. He also knew if he asked Kageyama to stay he would.

Hinata used all the strength he had and pushed away from Kageyama, smiling through his tears. “Have the time of your life,” he choked out.

“That’s not possible without you,” Kageyama said, not one hint of a joke on his face.

Hinata blushed and shook his head, letting out a weak laugh. "When did you become such a sap?" He asked, reaching up and cupping Kageyama's cheek.

"When I fell in love with you," he said, leaning down and pressing their lips together.

Hinata wrapped his arms around Kageyama's neck, pulling him closer. He licked into Kageyama's open mouth, rubbing their tongues together. It was a slow dance, and the music was the beach of their aching hearts. The kiss turned salty when Hinata's tears slid into his mouth. Kageyama didn't mind, he wanted Hinata close regardless.

They pulled away when the boarding for Kageyama's plane was announced.  Hinata wiped his tears on his sleeve and smiled up at Kageyama. "Go, or you'll miss your flight, Bakageyama," Hinata chuckled.

"I love you, dumbass," Kageyama said and took a step back.

"I love you, too," Hinata said.

Kageyama took a couple more steps back. He wrenched his eyes from Hinata and turned around fully, walking to the entrance of customs. He gave Hinata one last look before disappearing behind the doors.

Hinata waited at the airport until the plane had departed and then went home. He didn't cry on the drive home, he didn't cry in the shower. As soon as he laid his head down on his pillow Kageyama's scent overwhelmed him and he broke down. These two months were going to be hell.

**

It was hard to decide which kisses had been his favorite. On the list was the kiss they shared after their ‘I do.’ It was the kiss that officially bound them for eternity. He loved the kiss they shared when their first adoption permission came in the mail. Another one was the kiss they shared on their 50th anniversary. The kiss itself was not special, but the occasion made it exceptional. Hinata’s last kiss with the love of his life was the saddest though still comforting. Kageyama leaned down and pressed their lips together as Hinata closed his eyes and slept.