"Dean, it's evil. You have to get rid of it." Sam kept his eyes averted from the horrible little creature as he spoke, afraid that it would somehow sense that he was talking about it.
"What the hell are you babbling about?" Dean sat on the bed with his weapons laid out neatly, munching on peanut M&M's as he worked on routine weapons maintenance. The creature was perched on the bedspread near him, occasionally swiping lazily at Dean's hand with a set of razor-sharp talons.
"You know what I'm talking about." Sam sighed. "Listen, I understand that it's enthralled you somehow--"
"Enthralled me? You pulling out the big college boy words on me now, Sammy?" Dean winked, then tossed an M&M in the air and caught it in his mouth. The little monster watched him the whole time with unblinking, slit-pupilled eyes. Sam shivered. That was the look of pure evil, right there.
"It destroyed my copy of Tobin's Spirit Guide, Dean. It knew exactly which one of my books would be the most difficult to replace." Sam leaned forward, trying to convince Dean by the power of his sheer earnestness. "I think it may be being controlled by a malevolent intelligence. Now, I've run a few tests for demonic influence--"
"Dude, seriously. Did you add crack to your coffee this morning or something? I think we need to start switching you to the decaf."
"Dean, listen to me. That creature--"
"What?" Sam shook his head in disbelief. "You named it?"
"Yeah, but I'm not sure if that really fits her. Whattaya think, Sammy, is she more of a prog-rock kind of girl?" Dean tipped his head to the side consideringly. "I guess King Crimson doesn't really work as a girl name, though, does it."
Sam took a deep breath, held it for a second, then let it out slowly. "As usual, I have no idea what you're talking about. And you're getting off-topic. Please, just listen to me. We have to get rid of it before it destroys anything else."
"Awww, c'mon, Sammy, your book's just a little gnawed on, that's all. Besides, we can't just kick her out. It's like ten degrees below zero out there! Have a heart, man." Dean shook his head, looking dismayed by Sam's lack of compassion.
"I'm serious, Dean. And this morning-- I think it may have been trying to smother you in your sleep. I got it away from you before it could do any damage, but--"
"Is that what all the yelling and swearing was about? Oh, for fuck's sake, Sam, she was just being affectionate! Isn't that right, Hettie," Dean crooned, scratching the creature under its chin. Sam could swear the damn thing smiled at him. Creepy.
"Sammy." Sam shut his mouth. Dean was giving him the Concerned Older Brother look, which always made Sam feel an uncomfortable mixture of guilt, resentment, and more guilt, with a fine veneer of frustration over the top of it. "Do you have any idea how crazy you sound right now? Listen, man, you need to relax a little, unwind your springs some, or you're just gonna go nuts. And then where the hell am I going to come up with a new sidekick?"
Sam rolled his eyes. Dean smirked, then continued, "Seriously, though, take a break, go out and get a couple beers. Or, I dunno, go hang out at a bookstore or whatever it is that geeks do for fun. I'll watch the critter and make sure she doesn't open up a portal to hell or something before you get back, 'kay?"
"Sam, I mean it. Go. Now. Have fun." Dean gave him the look of Older Brother Who Is Contemplating Kicking Sam's Ass For His Own Good, and Sam folded.
"All right," Sam said reluctantly. He gathered up his jacket and laptop, shooting the creature a warning look while Dean wasn't looking.
The creature met his gaze with a look of smug superiority. It yawned, displaying a maw full of needle-sharp fangs, then bumped Dean's knee with its head, purring loudly.
Sam narrowed his eyes, scowling. Oh yeah. It might look like a small, adorable tabby cat, but Sam wasn't buying its cute and helpless act for a second. That little monster was pure evil.