Chapter 1: Infliction
"Fuck no! As tempting as it is, a baby would ruin everything! You'd get all fat and ugly, too, Bum. I don't want a mate who's fat and ugly." Bum remembered Sangwoo's harsh words as the third test revealed the third set of pink, vertical lines. Worry and panic filled his torso, two unsettling feelings he knew all too well living with Sangwoo. Bum calmed himself, taking a deep breath, and gathering his thoughts to think of a solution.
Abortion? Suicide? Sangwoo?
The first option would require pills or pain or both. How would he know if the abortion was a success? With the second option in mind, he directed his gaze away from the test trembling in his hand, to his left wrist. His previous attempts mocking him in the form of stigmatizing scars. Would he fail this time, too? The third option, tell Sangwoo and suffer the consequences. What would Sangwoo do to him...to the baby?
Bum snapped back to reality. He needed to focus his mind on discarding the tests, all three of them. His urine seasoned them, the pungent smell was too prominent to be masked. Bum bundled the tests together with a toilet paper covering, and carefully hid them in the bottom of the trash. After tidying up the sink and counter a bit, he returned to the kitchen table, plopping down in the nearest chair. Bum crossed his arms on the table and rested his head there. Silence rang in his ears, with the faint ticking of the grandfather clock in the background. He shifted his body slightly, allowing his fingers access to his nape. His fingers caressed the tender area Sangwoo had sunk his teeth into. The bite mark that claimed Bum as his mate, as his property.
The fetid smoke of cigarettes woke Bum. He drowsily looked around, only capable of moving his eyes. When did I fall asleep? Instead of being at the table, he was lying on a futon. He couldn't make out his surroundings, everything was hazy. Confusion urged him to call out for Sangwoo, but his mouth only uttered a wheezing sound. Before he had a chance to lift himself, he felt a sweaty palm slither up his thigh. A harsh, neon red darkened the already dim room.
Bum's eyes dilated with horror, his complexion turned a ghostly pale as the bloodcurdling voice echoed around the room. His muscles tensed, beads of sweat fell from the hovering figure onto his face. A colossal grip on Bum's waist harshly flipped him on his side. Pants of breath heated his nape. Slimy thrusts slipped in between his thighs.
"Unc-" Bum's plea was cut short.
"Bum! Wake up, goddamnit!"
A dream, no, a nightmare...no, a memory.
Chapter 2: Disposable
Bum leaned over the bathroom sink, inches away from his reflection in the mirror. He imagined himself shattering it, glass shards glistening like snow, his fist bruised and bloody. Bum straightened himself, his fist slowly raised and softly pressed against the mirror. He smiled at his silly defeat.
Yesterday was Hell. Discovering his condition, having—remembering that time. Sangwoo found him flailing around on the kitchen floor, screaming at the top of his lungs. He was pretty upset about Bum falling asleep when dinner hadn’t been prepared yet.
“If you would’ve been making dinner like you were supposed to, you wouldn’t have had a bad dream, Bum.”
Bum swallowed, the sharp, shiny instruments he’d collected from used razors sparkled beneath him. Four blades, two wrists, one chance. The “dream” from last night tipped the scale. Bum officially decided on suicide. He gently picked up a blade, pinching it in between his fingers. The blade hovered over his scars, first horizontally, then vertically. He was going to end this, he had to. A sudden hesitation. Images of Sangwoo dumping his corpse in a hole, while chomping on an apple, flashed in his head. Buried next to Jieun, up in those mountains...forever.
“Bum? Why’d you lock the door?” Sangwoo asked, first with a knock, then with a shaking of the doorknob.
Bum jumped. “Ah, I—I’m sorry! One second!” In a panic, he scooped up the blades and tossed them in the trash. One, two, three, fou— No fourth blade in the trash.
“Open this goddamn door, Bum! Now!” Sangwoo roared, violently shaking the doorknob. Bum frantically searched the floor and dug through the trash. Sangwoo rammed into the door.
“If I bust this door down, you’re fucking dead, Bum!”
Bum stopped looking and cautiously unlocked the door. The door swung open, slamming Bum back and onto the ground...knocking over the trash can. Sangwoo stood in the doorway, breathing heavily like a bull as he glared at the omega.
“Since we just played your little game, now we’re gonna play one of mine…in the basement.”
Tears cascaded from Bum’s eyes, “Pl-Please, no! I-I can’t take any-more.” He hiccuped. Bum’s words trailed off, not because of his crying, but because he couldn’t make sense of it. His words jumbled together as if he could “speak” dyslexic. His vision was tunneling, and his body went numb. He suddenly felt very sleepy.
Sangwoo sighed upon seeing Bum faint. He stepped in the bathroom and picked up Bum’s limp body. While carrying him, Sangwoo accidentally stepped on something. He peered down, raising his foot, revealing a pregnancy test.
Chapter 3: Blue
A dream chapter. “Filler” of sorts. Doesn’t have any effect on the story. I wrote this when I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do. Sorry for any confusion.
A nightmare Bum has after fainting. (You can skip this if you want.) I thought it would be obvious that he’s having a dream but I guess not. (-｡-;
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
A monochromatic house of blues, all different shades and tints. The sun’s rays were beaming through the windows, making the surfaces of the house look like a shimmering seafloor. A melodic tune could be heard throughout the house, as if someone had wound up a music box in every room. Bum felt at ease in the calm atmosphere. He fluttered around, practically dancing until he succumbed to dizziness. He rested on the floor, giggling and catching his breath, and then he looked up. The music came to abrupt end and the house fell silent. The door of the darkest shade of blue, almost black, waited at the end of a long, narrow hallway.
In a blink, blinds covered the windows, only open a sliver; sharp lines of light struck the floor. Bum hurried down the ominous hallway, crawling until he could get to his feet. The instant he reached the halfway point, the hall began to stretch. The wooden boards behind and underneath him started to split, the blue paint peeled off the walls into spirals, exposing an underlying red. Bum ran as fast as he could, reaching his arms out. He crashed straight into the door and desperately twisted the knob. Locked. Banging with all his might, tears of frustration trickled down his cheeks. He slumped to the floor and looked at his splintered hands. He didn’t want to die.
A warm, bright light blanketed Bum. Squinting his eyes, he gazed up at the figure surrounded by light.
“With all that banging, you’ll scare the baby, Bumi.” Sangwoo said softly, almost chuckling.
Bum quickly crawled through the doorway and looked around. This room was also blue. Bum walked to the corner of the room, bewildered by quite the sight. A mobile of knives dangled above a white crib, which looked like the rib cage of a large animal. Well, that’s because it was.
“You like it? I made them myself.” Sangwoo said, spinning the mobile so that the knives would clink together.
“The had to trim the bones of the rib cage so the baby could fit. It still looks good though.”
Bum nodded with an appreciative smile, he knew Sangwoo was trying his best.
“Um, Sangwoo, where is the...the baby?”
“Hmm? Oh, in the oven.”
Sangwoo pressed his hand against Bum’s belly.
“In the oven, Bumi.” Sangwoo smiled.
A mobile is the spinning thingy above cribs. Look it up for more info. d(￣ ￣) Also, when Sangwoo said in the oven, he was referring to "a bun in the oven."
Sangwoo placed a pail underneath the faucet of the kitchen sink. He often used this pail to clean up certain messes. He turned the knob. A cascade of cold, crystal clear water filled the pail. Bubbles rose to the surface, popping and quickly being replaced. He turned the water off after the pail was halfway full. Sangwoo paused before picking it up, examining himself in the water. Sangwoo knew he was devilishly handsome, but if he looked at his reflection for too long, he’d begin to see similarities between himself and his father. He thought dying his hair would change that but he still had the same features. If he was going to be stuck with his face, he’d be damned if he shared the same mind.
Sangwoo lifted the pail out of the sink with ease. He walked to the middle room where Bum lie sleeping on a futon. He glared down at the unconscious omega.
“Bum.” He intentionally whispered from the doorway. “Bum, wake up or else.” He waited in silence for a response, turning his head and cupping his ear in Bum’s direction.
He shrugged. “I warned you.”
Sangwoo swung the pail back and then flung it forward.
A smacking stretch of water engulfed Bum as a tsunami would a small island.
Bum released a sharp gasp and instantly sat up, drenched. He started coughing up the water that had plunged down his nose. Soaking wet, Bum held himself tightly, shivering, teeth chattering. Sangwoo dropped the pail, frightening the omega with the loud thud.
“Clean this mess up.” Sangwoo commanded before leaving to the laundry room.
Bum crawled out of the squishy futon and slipped on the surrounding puddle of water. He raised himself, sniffling to hold back tears. He felt sick and defeated as even his own friction couldn’t rid him of the goosebumps covering his body.
Without warning, Sangwoo hurled a balled up towel at Bum, nearly knocking the unsuspecting omega over. Bum glanced at Sangwoo standing in the doorway, leaning his shoulder on the frame with his arms crossed. Afraid of further upsetting the seemingly annoyed alpha, Bum spread the towel over the puddle of water. Splotches of water soaked through and darkened the towel. Just as Bum began to wipe, Sangwoo clicked his tongue, catching the omegas attention.
“That towel was for you, moron.”
Sangwoo’s eyes narrowed as Bum’s widened, surprised that Sangwoo would be so kind. He picked the towel up off the floor and wrapped it around himself, trying his best to please the alpha. Sangwoo huffed with irritation and marched towards Bum. The omega flinched, cowering down as the towel was ripped off of him.
Bum looked up at the alpha with pleading eyes.
“Too fucking stubborn, huh? Or are you just dumb?” Sangwoo harshly stood Bum up, yanking him by his arm, and started undressing him in a violent manner. Bum closed his eyes, whimpering, mentally preparing himself for whatever unfavorable act Sangwoo had in mind. His fear turned to confusion when Sangwoo unexpectedly swept him up and carried him in a bridal fashion. Bum’s cheeks blossomed into a rosy red. He used his hand to shield his unclothed lap as best he could.
Sangwoo sat Bum down on the bathroom rug and drew a bath. Bum noticed that the bathroom had been cleaned since the last time he occupied it.
“Wash yourself. 5 minutes.” Sangwoo ordered, leaving to the bedroom.
Bum eased himself into the tub, adjusting to the lukewarm temperature, slightly disappointed the water wasn’t boiling. He did as he was told and quickly finished. Bum stood outside the tub, unsure of what to do next. After waiting a few more seconds, which felt like minutes, Bum thought maybe he was supposed to be helping Sangwoo clean the bedroom. Panicking, he scurried to exit the bathroom when he ran straight into a familiar chest. Sangwoo, looming over Bum, backed him back into the bathroom.
“I-I’m done.” Bum stuttered, unable to meet Sangwoo’s intimidating gaze.
A whoosh startled the omega, until he felt the warmth that accompanied it. Sangwoo had wrapped a towel around Bum and started drying him off. The gentle rubbing and nudging, rare of Sangwoo’s touch, felt like a dream. Bum closed his eyes, letting himself get lost in the blissful sensation.
Sangwoo, without saying a word, dressed Bum in clean clothes, fresh out of the dryer. The warmth and flowery scent of his oversized white t-shirt and faded navy blue shorts, made Bum feel cozy and loved. Sangwoo had replaced the dampened futon with a spare one. The new futon was neatly made with clean, comfy sheets. Bum plopped down on the cushiony nest and snuggled under the blankets.
Bum dozed off several times while waiting for Sangwoo. He wanted to tell him. Sangwoo was being so nice, he deserved to know.
He’s the father...and my alpha. Whatever he wants to do, I’ll do it.
Sangwoo entered the bedroom yawning. He was wearing Bum’s favorite: a sleeveless t-shirt and short shorts, both exposing his muscle-ripped body. Sangwoo turned off the lights and laid down. Bum stared at Sangwoo’s back, trying to muster up some courage.
“S-Sangwoo?” Bum quavered nervously. “I-I have to tell you something. Um, please don’t be angry.” Bum paused, his anxiety overwhelming him.
“I know. ...Don’t remind me.”
This was my attempt at writing a “lengthy” chapter. Thanks for all the comments! (^○^)
Ever since Sangwoo “acknowledged” the baby’s existence, there’s been a thick bitterness plaguing the air. Only quick glances and short sentences have been shared between the two. This asphyxiating atmosphere has been unbearable for the expecting Bum.
At first, Bum kept count of the days using his fingers, then, out of the blue, Sangwoo bought a calendar.
“Here. You look like a kindergartener always counting on your fingers. It’s annoying.”
“Ah, I-I’m sorry… Thank you, Sangwoo…” Bum stood up from his chair and walked over to Sangwoo, timidly placing himself in front of the burly alpha. Shakily, Bum raised himself on his tippy toes, pressing against Sangwoo’s chest for support. Then, hesitantly, he leaned closer to Sangwoo’s lips. What did they taste like? Bum couldn’t remember. He wanted so badly to bite, suck, lick, anything to extract a flavor of Sangwoo’s. Be it saliva, semen, or blood… Bum’s lips were shyly puckered and near their destination, when Sangwoo suddenly turned his head, forcing Bum’s lips to land on the stubble of his prickly, unshaven jawline.
“Fix supper. I’m hungry.” Sangwoo walked out of the kitchen, separating himself from Bum, who slumped to the ground and watched as he exited. The following weeks, Sangwoo remained cold and distant, rejecting any and all of Bum’s advances.
It had been eight weeks from his last heat and his...insemination. That was his first heat with Sangwoo, and his first ever breeding with a mate. Breeding is a term strictly for an alpha and omega pair who have unprotected sex, usually for the purpose of reproduction. Living with a potent alpha without heat suppressants or birth control, Bum’s pregnancy was undeniably inevitable.
Despite supposedly being eight weeks pregnant, Bum didn’t feel any different, which worried him that it was all just a mistake. The thought of not actually being pregnant but still having to suffer Sangwoo’s neglect, ate at him to his core. He didn’t want to suffer if he didn’t have to… Even though Sangwoo was unapproachable, more so now than ever before, Bum needed to make certain he was carrying. For himself, but more importantly, for the sake of his developing baby that may or may not be present.
“S-Sangwoo, can you take me to the doctor?” Bum asked nervously, clutching his chest.
“...No. Why would you even ask that?” Sangwoo glared.
“W-Well, I’m just...worried is all. I haven’t gotten much bigger and...I can’t feel anything.” Bum rubbed his abdomen.
Sangwoo sighed. “Fine, I’ll take you. Get dressed.”
“If something’s wrong, we need to find out as soon as possible, right?” Sangwoo said, sounding irritated.
Sorry for my absence. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. ( ◠‿◠ )
Chapter 6: Prey
MERRY CHRISTMAS OR HAPPY HANUKKAH OR HAPPY KWANZA! ETC.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
At the clinic
Bum lay on an exam table, wearing nothing on the lower half of his body. A paper sheet draped over his lap keeps him from being exposed. Sangwoo, standing next to the table with his arms comfortably crossed, was at first mistaken as Bum’s bodyguard…
Previously, in the waiting room...
After learning the two to be mates, the pretty lady at the front desk compared Sangwoo to a lion and Bum to a ra—, she hesitated, mouse. For a reason Bum didn’t know, Sangwoo said something awfully strange about the lady while they waited in the waiting room.
“Hey, Bumi,” Sangwoo said, staring at the lady as if he were prowling. “If I’m a lion, then she should be a zebra.”
“Cause she’s pretty?” Bum asked, jealousy hidden in his tone.
“...No, because if she’s a zebra, then as a lion, I get to rip flesh off of her carcass after mauling her. Predator,” Sangwoo happily pointed to himself with his trademark smile. “...and prey.” He grabbed Bum’s jaw, squeezing his lips in between his cheeks, directing his sight toward the lady.
Bum jerked his head out of Sangwoo’s grasp. “...Why does she get to be the zebra? It’s not fair, Sangwoo! I’m your mate! Shouldn’t I be your prey, the one you watch from afar, the one you chase after, the one you devour?!”
Sangwoo grabbed Bum’s arm and lifted him out of his seat onto his lap.
“Th-That hurt, Sang—”
“You need a timeout.” Sangwoo wrapped his arms around Bum and squeezed him to himself.
Ugh, he’s not like a lion! He’s like a snake!
Bum wiggled and squirmed, but Sangwoo never loosened. He couldn’t let Bum see the irritating pinkness he caused to blight his face.
Back in the ultrasound room...
“Well, Yoon Bum, it looks like you’re eating for two!” The ultrasound technician said enthusiastically, smearing clear, light blue gel around on Bum’s belly.
Relief overcame Bum as he saw the little white blob on the monitor.
“You know, at eight weeks you might be able to hear the baby’s heartbeat. Would you like to try?”
Bum rapidly nodded his head with a cheery smile.
“Okay, ready? Listen.”
Bum could no longer only express his happiness in the form of a smile, tears of pure joy escaped from his eyes. Though his sight was blurry, Bum could see that Sangwoo’s face curved a little before he covered his mouth with his hand.
Sangwoo started the car. Bum sat in the passenger seat, sniffling as he gazed at his baby.
“It looks like a gummy bear.” Bum said softly, slightly turning his head in Sangwoo’s direction, but never taking his eyes off the sonogram. Bum angled the picture so Sangwoo could see. Sangwoo leaned over and grabbed Bum’s hand, bringing the sonogram closer to his face.
After observing for a moment, Sangwoo said, “No, it looks like a peanut.”
“...Let’s eat somewhere.”
“What, you don’t want to celebrate with me?”
“No! I do! I do…”
Sangwoo sighed. “Jeez, why do you have to complicate things?”
He said celebrate. Sangwoo actually said celebrate. So, could that mean, maybe even just a little, he’s happy about starting a family?
In case you didn’t understand, the desk lady was gonna call Bumi a rat at first. Bum didn’t notice, but Sangwoo certainly did. *evil grin*
During the slow drive to wherever Sangwoo planned to eat, Bum held the sonogram up, using the orange glow of the sun as it melted into the horizon, to see his baby once more. After Sangwoo arrived at their destination and parked, he paused before getting out and looked over at Bum, who was still admiring the sonogram.
“I’m so happy the doctor gave me this.” Bum spoke softly, gently kissing the sonogram.
Sangwoo unpleasantly tapped the picture with his finger, “I did that, not that lousy doctor. Understand?”
Bum nodded, quickly but carefully tucking the sonogram into his pocket. “I-I understand.”
“Good. Now get out.”
The restaurant was dimly lit. Candelabra and vases that held only a single rose were neatly arranged on every table. Growing up as a poverty-stricken omega, Bum felt out of place, instinctively thinking that he should just head straight to the kitchen and start washing dishes. While they were waiting to be seated, Sangwoo narrowed his eyes at Bum.
“What are you doing? Do you have fleas or something?” Sangwoo asked, glaring at the omega as he brushed out the tangles in his hair with his fingers.
“N-No, I’m trying to fix my hair. I didn’t know we’d be coming to such a fancy place…”
Sangwoo paused, looking at the omega as he continued to frantically tidy himself up. “...Well, of course it’d be fancy. We’re celebrating after all.” Sangwoo lied.
He knew that the restaurant was anything but fancy: the paint was peeling, the tablecloths had various stains, no dish was sparkling or spotless. Even so, he spared the omega’s feelings, knowing that Bum had probably never been treated to a meal, and even though it wasn’t exactly ‘wining and dining’, it was just as special to him.
Sangwoo cut Bum’s steak into small cube-shaped bites. His slicing was clean and precise, almost an art. Bum knew how he acquired such skill, and it wasn’t from watching cooking shows.
“S-Sangwoo, is it supposed to be that red?”
“What?” Sangwoo asked, sounding and looking irritated.
“N-No, never mind, it’s nothing…”
Sangwoo sighed and examined the steak closer, seeing the red, squishy meat beneath his knife. A fuse had been lit within him, the same annoying itch he felt when Bum told him that his uncle had raped him. An itch that made him want to punch a wall to the point that his knuckles bleed. An itch that felt like bugs crawling underneath his skin. An itch to kill.
“Oh, well, I’ll just order another one, o-okay?” Bum said shakily, nervously resting his hand on top of Sangwoo’s fist that gripped the knife, trying to subtly calm him.
“Okay? What the fuck do you mean ‘okay’? Do you even care about our baby?!”
“Agh, Sangwoo, o-of course I care… W-Why would you say t-that?” Bum’s voice trailed off, tears filling his eyes. He didn’t know why, but his emotions were getting the better of him. He could usually withstand Sangwoo’s harsh words. Bum hid his face in the palms of his hands, he felt weak and small and stupid.
“Hey,” Sangwoo started, but Bum shook his head, unable to speak, unable to tolerate anymore. “Don’t cry. I’m…” Sangwoo sighed, “I’m sorry, okay? Stop crying.”
Bum uncovered his face and looked up at Sangwoo, shock, confusion, and a light blush fell upon his face. But, before he could even wipe his eyes, a beta waiter approached their table.
“Is everything okay, sir?” The beta asked, placing his hand on Bum’s back to comfort him.
“D-Don’t touch me!” Bum demanded, slapping his hand away. In his sensitive state, he only wanted tenderness from his alpha, otherwise it was repulsive.
I hope you enjoyed! I broke this up into two parts as a reward for your patience! Thank you for reading!