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Discovery

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Rick can’t believe he’s at a gay bar, of all places.

He’s a little uncomfortable, in all honesty. When he was growing up, being gay was something to be ashamed of – a disease. Parents disowned their gay children all the time. It just wasn’t natural.

On the other hand, however, Rick’s sudden attraction to men just isn’t something he can push down anymore. It had started inconspicuously enough – a one-off thought here or there about a stranger he’d seen in the mall, or a coworker. But it had escalated fast, and he’d realized, after a particularly wet dream about an old best friend that had left him physically shaking when he woke, that it wasn’t just going to be a passing trend, born out of loneliness. So, in desperation, he’d turned to the only gay man he knows: Jesus. And Jesus had advised he try one of the local gay bars, just to see if it cleared anything up.

Which it hasn’t. At all.

He takes another sip of the beer he’s been nursing for the last half hour and glances around the bar again. He’s sure he’s just radiating discomfort; there’s so many half-naked dudes, he thinks he’s seen more dick outlines tonight than his entire high school and college stint put together. He’s not drunk enough to be turned on, but not sober enough to feel dirty; mostly, he just feels out of place. He figures everybody there can probably tell he’s uncertain, and he knows if he wants to actually try anything he’ll have to go get it, but fuck. He hates putting himself out there like that. It just feels sleazy.

Luckily – or maybe unluckily, he can’t quite decide – he doesn’t have to. A guy probably a few years older than himself drops into the seat next to him and flashes a blindingly white grin.

“You look lost,” The guy drawls, leaning on the bar. “You waitin’ on someone, or are you here by yourself?”

Rick stumbles for a second, caught off-guard. “Oh – oh, no, I, um..” He squirms under the other man’s curious hazel gaze. “I’m just.. here. Uh. By myself.”

“Great.” The guy gives another grin, glancing down the bar towards the bartender. “Hey, Dwight. Two vodka martinis.”

“Oh, I’m not..” Rick squirms again, uncertain as to if he should be flattered or freaked out. Flattered, he thinks, but right now he’s a little freaked. “Um. You don’t need to..”

“I’d say I do. You need to relax, little man.”

Rick’s cheeks flare with heat and he drops his gaze to the bar, taking another drink from the beer to try and cover his embarrassment. He hadn’t realized he was that obvious. The man chuckles, nudging his arm lightly.

“Don’t take that the wrong way. Let me guess: this is your first time in a bar like this, huh? Probably never been around people quite this.. flamboyant, I’ll bet. Am I right?”

Rick nods silently, watching the bartender slide the martinis their way before turning to the next customers. God, he wishes he could just be swallowed up in a hole right about now. The guy softens a little.

“Hey, it’s alright. We get newcomers all the time. Listen. I’m Negan. I kinda make it my mission to look after all the newbies here, right? Make sure nobody gets hurt, goes home with somebody they shouldn’t, whatever. Trust me, you might be nervous, but you aren’t even the worst case we’ve had this week. You just need to loosen up a little.”

“I’m Rick,” Rick says, without really meaning to, and he flushes a little more. “What do you mean, ‘the worst case’?”

Negan barks a laugh and downs the martini in one go before answering. “Had a kid come in here a day or two ago.. he got so freaked out when he thought I was coming onto him that he ran out of here crying. Not actually sure he was old enough to be in here, but eh.. security here’s not that great.” Negan grins, shaking his head. “Truth be told, Rick, you seem to be takin’ this whole experience pretty fuckin’ well.”

“It wasn’t really my idea to come here,” Rick mumbles, exchanging the beer for the martini and giving it a tentative sip. “My friend.. he, um, recommended this place.”

“Best place in town,” Negan confirms, signaling Dwight for another drink. “Not that that’s sayin’ much, but whatever. So what’s it with you? An identity crisis, I’m assuming. Maybe you saw a hot dude, got a little bothered, so you’re here to tell yourself you’re not attracted to guys.. although you didn’t run away screaming when I came up to you, so maybe you’re a little more certain?”

“Something like that.” Rick shifts in his seat. His ears are burning. “I, uh.. it’s kinda been an on-going thing. I’m just here to.. see what happens.”

“Mm, interesting.” Negan gives him a curious once-over. “Well, don’t be shy, alright, Rick? We get all types in here, I’m sure there’s somebody that can catch your interest for a night.”

Rick just nods. He hadn’t really come here looking for a hook-up – but then, he thinks, what the hell else do people go to bars for?

They drink in silence for a little while after that; when Rick finishes the first martini, Negan orders him another. The more he drinks the easier it becomes to drink, but he’s never really been a big drinker, so it’s not long before he knows he should stop. When Negan moves to order him another drink – they’ve moved on from martinis now, although Rick doesn’t know to what – he places a hand on Negan’s arm, shaking his head and trying not to lose his mind completely.

He moves to stand and immediately sways, stumbling directly into the bar. Negan catches his arm and he leans into Negan’s touch, clutches at the lapels of Negan’s leather jacket. His legs are shaking and his head’s spinning and he staggers, vision blinking out momentarily, and the only thing he can hear for a second is Negan’s voice in his ear, soft and soothing.

“I need a.. a b’throom,” He mumbles into Negan’s shoulder, and Negan hums, rubbing his back.

“Okay, hon. Come on, let’s go.”

Rick stumbles along beside Negan to the bathroom of the bar; and he thinks himself lucky that he makes it to the stall before his legs give out and Negan’s forced to half-dump him on the floor. He tilts his head back against the wall and grins lazily, eyes closing.

“Sit here, okay?” Negan murmurs, brushing a curl behind his ear. “I’m gonna get you some water.”

Rick nods, this time prepared for the rush of dizziness that makes him sway. Negan just chuckles and backs out, leaving Rick on his own. Alone, he thinks about the night so far. He’d come here looking for a.. a friend, maybe. Maybe a one night stand, a lover, something. And now he’s sitting in the bathroom, on the floor, drunk off his ass and having only met one person. For some reason, this thought is funny, and he laughs to himself, burying his face in his arms.

“Fuck, you lightweight,” Negan says upon return, and Rick looks up, still smiling. “Here. You need to drink this.”

Rick accepts the glass of water and gulps it down as Negan sits next to him. He leans into Negan’s side, melting a little bit in the warmth.

“So.. you don’t, um.. y’don’t work here?” Rick says after a pause, eyes closed. Negan hums, pushing Rick’s curls back again.

“Nope,” Negan responds, popping the p. Rick shifts a little, turning closer to Negan.

“So you just.. look out fer people? Out of the goodness of your heart?” Rick’s breath is warm on Negan’s throat, and Negan tries not to shiver.

“Somethin’ like that. I guess it’s just.. I think people should be lookin’ out for others, especially those who can’t look after themselves, you know?”

Rick nods. “That’s really sweet of you. I like that.” He nuzzles against Negan’s jaw, resting one hand on Negan’s chest. Negan takes a deep breath.

“I mean, it probably helps I usually get laid.” He says, trying to redirect the conversation and maybe get Rick off of him – because Rick’s drunk, probably isn’t even aware of his own actions, and he can’t in good moral standing let Rick seduce him right now – but Rick just giggles softly, a charming little sound that makes Negan feel weak.

“Do you want to get laid tonight?” Rick breathes against Negan’s skin. He’s not sure why he suddenly thinks this is a good idea, but he’s horny and needy and Negan’s definitely not pulling away. He doesn’t much care right now that Negan’s got a dick; in fact, his dream from the week previous returns to him, and fuck, it only makes him want it more.

“Rick, I don’t think..” Negan takes a deep breath as Rick’s fingers slide down his chest to the waistband of his jeans. “You’re drunk.”

“And?” Rick murmurs. “I came here to get laid, an’ you’ve been drinkin’, too.”

“Yeah, but..” Negan hisses as Rick’s hand drifts down over the rapidly growing bulge in his jeans. “God damn it, Rick. Are you sure?”

“Uh-huh.” Rick’s eyelashes flutter against Negan’s neck, letting the heel of his hand slide up the length of Negan’s cock through the jeans. “You should get up,” He adds breathlessly, and Negan swallows.

“Okay,” Negan says, and he staggers to his feet. Rick hums, nuzzling against his thigh and peering up at him, and oh, fuck, Rick’s pretty – blue eyes blown wide, plump pink lips parted a little, down on his knees.

“I wanna suck your dick,” Rick says bluntly, still palming over the bulge he’s just about pressing his face against. “Can I?”

“God, yes, you can.” Negan fumbles with his jeans for a second, somehow managing to get them undone despite the trembling of his fingers. He pulls his cock out and Rick stutters on a whine, lips falling open needily.

“Negan,” Rick says, almost whimpering, and Negan purrs shakily.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m right here. You know what to do, don’t you?”

Rick nods. He’s familiar with the motions, but actually doing it.. he shivers, pawing at Negan’s thighs, and Negan gives his curls a soft little pull of encouragement. He leans forward and tentatively nuzzles against the base, letting his tongue run up along the side, and Negan makes a breathy sound of pleasure.

He mouths back down to Negan’s hips and drags his tongue back up the underside, licking over the tip to collect the salty precum there. Negan’s cock is warm and heavy against his lips, and he manages a shaky little moan, eyes slipping shut.

“Come on, baby boy,” Negan rasps, pulling his hair again, “You wanted to blow me so bad, then blow me.”

Rick whines, peeking up at Negan for a moment. He’s got his tongue caught between his teeth, brows furrowed, hazel eyes dark and trained on Rick’s face. Fuck. He’s kind of ruggedly handsome, Rick thinks; a strong jaw, with a light dusting of gray stubble that would probably feel amazing on Rick’s inner thighs..

Slowly Rick wraps his mouth around the head of Negan’s cock, still looking up at Negan from under his eyelashes. Negan grits his teeth and takes a shaky breath at the warmth. Rick’s a little clumsy at first, a combination of intoxication and virginity and nerves, but after a moment to get acquainted – along with a few guiding touches to his jaw and cheek – he falls into a rhythm, sweet, slow bobs of his head, carefully mapping out every inch of Negan’s length.

“Such a good boy,” Negan says breathlessly, tearing his gaze away from Rick in favor of leaning his head back against the wall. “That’s a good boy, Rick, fuck.”

Rick makes a pleased little sound in the back of his throat, and the vibrations nearly make Negan buck. Instead he forces himself to hold still, fist curling tight into Rick’s hair. Rick shudders at the thrill of pain, whining low in his chest.

“So good,” Negan mumbles, guiding Rick’s mouth further down. “So good, honeybee..”

Rick swallows down as much as he can, until he gags and coughs and chokes a little, tears stinging the corners of his eyes. Negan’s breath stutters momentarily, both hands resting against the back of Rick’s head to keep him down, and it takes every scrap of effort to let Rick pull off. Rick’s panting and shaking, pupils blown so wide there’s almost no blue left.

After a few moments he guides Rick’s mouth back down around his dick, sighing with pleasure. Rick trails his tongue up and down along the underside, over the tip with each pull back. Negan’s cock throbs against his tongue, and he keens pitifully, eyes slipping shut. He wonders if Negan has any intentions of coming in his mouth; the thought makes him shudder and he swallows involuntarily, and Negan pulls him away without warning.

“Come here,” Negan growls, and Rick stumbles to his feet, clinging to Negan’s jacket. Negan kisses him, hard, hands roaming down the back of his jeans, and he keens pitifully, half-grinding against Negan’s thigh.

“Negan,” He whines, suddenly overwhelmed, hands forgoing Negan’s jacket to wind through the other’s dark hair. “Negan, please, I need it.”

“I know, baby, I know.” Negan lets his mouth wander down Rick’s neck, leaving hickies on the pale skin. “Fuck. Tell me I can take you home, Rick.”

“Where else am I gonna go?” Rick mumbles, head tilting back to expose more of his throat. “I’d just be blue ballin’ myself.”

Negan huffs a laugh against his shoulder, shifting so he’s up against the wall, both legs wrapped around Negan’s waist. “That’s true,” Negan murmurs, fingers creeping under the band of his jeans again. “I think we’d both rather you come home with me where I can fuck you like you need.”

Rick just nods, blue eyes glassy, and Negan drags him down by the back of his neck for another slow kiss. Rick makes a pitiful sound, fingers running through Negan’s dark hair. After a moment of making out Negan lets him down, and he staggers a little at first, head spinning with exhilaration and alcohol; he sways against the wall, only caught by Negan grabbing his upper arm. He grins a little, clutching at Negan’s jacket.

“Christ, you’re drunk,” Negan remarks, half-carrying him out of the bathroom. “You even gonna make it to my house, man?”

“Yeah.” Rick hiccups, then gives his head a shake and smiles, real fucking pretty, up at Negan. Negan forces himself to look away; Rick’s gorgeous, and it would be so damn easy to take him out and put him up against the wall-

“You gonna call a cab?” Rick murmurs against Negan’s ear, and Negan blinks a few times. After a pause Rick watches him step down to the street and signal for a taxi. The cool air, bordering on cold, is somewhat sobering; at least enough for Rick to know that neither of them should be driving home. God, Rick’s needy – it’s been forever since he’s gotten off, even longer since he’s gotten off with somebody else. His dick aches. For once, though, he doesn’t want to be on top; he’s determined to try something new, and being fucked in the ass sure counts.

When the taxi pulls up, Negan allows Rick to get in first, then slides in beside him. He presses close to Negan’s side, fingers curled into Negan’s white shirt, and Negan’s left arm slides around him, massaging his thigh to keep him placated. He’s well aware they’re making the driver uncomfortable, but he knows if he’d only had a couple more drinks he’d be in Negan’s lap, decency be damned.

Negan all but throws the cash at their poor driver, drags Rick out of the car and pulls Rick against his chest. Rick melts, especially as Negan’s knee slides between his thighs, and he pushes down helplessly into the warmth.

“Inside,” Rick pants, clawing at Negan’s coat, and Negan just nods, backing away to his door. Rick staggers after him, only barely managing to get inside for Negan to shut the door before Negan’s on him, shoving him up against the wall. He can’t keep down the moan Negan drags out of him, kissing and biting at his exposed throat, and Negan growls in response, hands creeping up under his shirt.

“Fuck,” Negan grunts, pulling Rick’s shirt off and kissing down to his chest. “So fucking gorgeous, baby.”

Rick throws his head back against the wall as Negan’s mouth closes around one nipple, wrapping one leg helplessly around Negan’s waist, but Negan only sucks on the sensitive skin for a moment before trailing warm, open-mouthed kisses down his belly. He’s shaking, bad; Negan keeps his hips pressed to the wall so he doesn’t buck. Fuck, he needs it, he thinks he might just die if Negan keeps teasing – lips brushing just above the waistband of his jeans, thumbs stroking his inner thighs as if to relax him. Pah.

“Negan,” He begs, and God, he sounds wrecked. “Negan, please, I can’t-”

“Shh,” Negan soothes, glancing up at him. “Shh, honey, let me take care of you.”

Rick almost sobs. He can feel Negan’s warm breath on his dick, just barely ghosting over it as Negan pays attention to other parts of his body. He knows, too, that Negan knows just how much it’s driving him crazy; there’s a certainness in the way Negan touches him, deliberately passing over where he really needs it.

“Negan,” He pleads again, fisting one hand in Negan’s hair. “Please. I’m begging you, Negan, I need it, please.”

Negan kisses back up Rick’s stomach instead, the tip of his tongue trailing lightly over Rick’s exposed skin. Rick shudders, tries not to let a whine of desperation slip through, but he needs to be touched. Sure, the warmth of Negan’s hands and mouth is nice on his thighs, his sides and stomach and chest, but it would be so much better elsewhere.

“Alright, hon, I got you,” Negan murmurs, voice soft and husky, against his shoulder. “Let’s go upstairs, huh?”

Rick makes a breathless sound and nods. His legs are shaking and he’s having a real fun time trying to walk straight – he’s drunk and needy and desperate and for one wild moment he considers just begging Negan to fuck him on the stairs.

“I can’t,” He whines, swaying against the wall and sliding down to his knees. “Negan, I can’t.”

Negan returns to him from the top of the stairs, kneeling to cup his face. “Easy, there, Rick. You can do this, baby.”

“I can’t,” Rick repeats, leaning into Negan’s touch. “I can’t. I need you now.”

“Do I need to carry you?” Negan purrs, brushing a kiss to his forehead. “Cause I am not fucking you right here, Rick. You would hate me in the morning.”

Rick just keens, unable to form coherent sentences. Negan slides both hands down to his thighs, and he throws his arms around Negan’s shoulders, fists curling into Negan’s coat. He’s overly warm, feels like he’s burning alive, and Negan’s got a firm grip on his ass, and for a second he thinks he might just come right there against Negan’s stomach.

“I’m not gonna,” Rick breaks off with a stifled whimper, shoulders hunching a little, and Negan coos soothingly against his ear, kicking open the door to the bedroom with one boot. “Negan, can’t, I can’t do it, I can’t-”

He rocks against Negan’s warmth, burying his face in Negan’s shoulder. His legs are shaking and his hands are shaking and he’s going to die, he’s going to suffocate-

“Shh, shh, Rick, honey,” Negan murmurs, laying him out on the bed, thumbing over his cheekbones. “Breathe, baby boy, you’re alright..”

Rick can’t even think of anything sentient to say. He’s dimly aware of the warmth spreading across the front of his jeans and realizes belatedly Negan’s brought him to orgasm without taking off anything below the waist. Fuck. Breathing is hard, his chest’s heaving, and he can’t feel his legs anymore. A half-sob rises in his throat and he fights to keep it down, tilting his head back into the pillows.

“Easy,” Negan murmurs again, kissing soft against his jaw, hands stroking his sides. “You’re okay. I’m right here, Rick.”

Rick takes one deep breath, then another. His heart is roaring loud in his ears, and for a moment he lays still, letting Negan’s touch and voice soothe him. Then he stirs again, blue eyes drifting back open. Negan is staring at him with an indescribable level of softness, propped up on one elbow, free hand rubbing circles in his upper arm, and after a moment he turns onto his side and nuzzles in against Negan’s chest.

“Sorry,” He mumbles, fingers splaying out across Negan’s broad chest. Negan hums.

“What for?”

“I already..” He breaks off, sucking his lower lip between his teeth, and Negan laughs, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. The hand on his arm slips between his legs, cupping the damp spot, and he makes a breathy sort of sound.

“It don’t matter, Rick,” Negan rumbles softly. “I’m not exactly a one-and-done guy, you know? I don’t care if you came once or ten times, I’m still makin’ love to you tonight.”

Rick flushes a little and presses closer into Negan’s arms. Negan’s warm and strong and sweet, so awfully sweet.

“I don’t know if I can..” Rick hesitates again, squirming under Negan’s hand, which has now slid down his jeans. “Not.. not so fast..”

“That’s alright. We don’t need to rush it, right?” Negan turns Rick back onto his back, leaning down to kiss him sweet and soft. “We have all night. Okay?”

Rick just nods. Slowly Negan coaxes him out of his jeans and boxers, carefully discarding them over the edge of the bed, and then leans to kiss against the sides of his throat, leaving light bruises and hickies. The intoxication is starting to wear off now; he’s not so drunk anymore, instead somewhat buzzed.

“Stay here, alright?” Negan murmurs. “I’ll be right back.”

Rick nods again, and Negan slides out of bed and leaves the room. Christ, Negan’s mattress is soft. The longer he lays still the sleepier he gets, and he lets his eyes slip shut for a moment.

“Rick, honey,” Negan says softly, and Rick startles a little, blinking a couple of times. He doesn’t think he’s been out for very long; he hasn’t moved position at all, and he doesn’t feel any less drunk. Negan’s grinning at him in amusement, setting a box on the desk, and he flushes a little.

“Sorry,” He mumbles, his cheeks feeling warm. Negan chuckles.

“It’s alright, don’t apologize. I can’t say I blame you.” Negan turns to him with a towel-wrapped pillow and kneels on the bed next to him. “Lift your hips for me?”

Rick obeys, raising off the bed so Negan can slide the pillow under his ass. The towel is soft on his skin, and he frowns curiously up at Negan. Negan hums, retrieving a few more things out of the box; lube, another towel, condoms, and.. a dildo? One of the extremely fancy ones. Heat flares in his cheeks and he shifts a little, trying to find a more comfortable position. This is his last chance to back out, he knows.

“You feelin’ alright, honey?” Negan remarks lightly, casting a glance at him, and he nods.

“Nervous,” He admits. It must sound ridiculous, he thinks – he’s almost forty, he shouldn’t be nervous about his bed partners. But he is and he kind of hates it.

“I get that,” Negan says, instead of something teasing like Rick had been expecting, as he drapes his leather jacket over the back of his desk chair. “First time with a man.. hell, if you weren’t nervous, I’d think you were either lying to me or fucking crazy.”

“It’s just.. I haven’t really..” Rick lets out an embarrassed breath, folding his hands behind his head. “I haven’t really been with anyone in a while. I started to think I forgot how this whole thing works.”

Negan barks a laugh, shaking his head. “Well, I can make this real easy for you. You lay there and let me pleasure the hell out of you. Trust me, I get off gettin’ you off.”

“That does sound nice,” Rick murmurs. “God knows I could use someone takin’ care of me, for once.”

Negan frowns, his curiosity piqued. “What do you mean?”

“I’m a dad. And I-I mean.. I feel like an awful parent for dumpin’ my kids on a.. a babysitter, so I could go out and get laid.”

“I don’t think that makes you a bad parent,” Negan says after a moment. “Everybody needs at least one night a year to themselves, right? I mean, there are parents out there who leave their kids with a sitter every night to go party and whatever. I don’t think one night makes you a shitty parent.”

“I guess so.” Rick exhales, long and slow, and Negan returns to sit by his feet. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything.”

“You’ll figure it out. You’re a smart man, Rick.” Negan lays out beside him, resting one hand on his cheek, and he turns his head into the caress. “Your children won’t blame you for taking me-time sometimes. In fact, later on, they may even beg you to take me-time, eh?”

Rick cracks a begrudging smile and laughs softly against Negan’s thumb, which is trailing his lips. “I’m sure. Once they hit teenager years it’ll be temporarily over for Father-Kid bonding.”

“Mhm. But you can’t smother ‘em, Rick, they won’t thank you. It’s okay to get away every once in a while.”

“You’re right.” Rick chuckles, giving his head a little shake. “God. I just met you and I’m pourin’ my life problems all over you.”

“I don’t mind.” Negan tilts his head a little. He seems unable to tear his gaze away from Rick’s mouth for more than a few seconds, but every now and again his hazel eyes flick up to meet Rick’s blue ones. “You’re somethin’ else, Rick,” He adds softly after a moment. “I feel damn special I get to be the first guy to take you to bed. If, uh.. if you still want that. Are you ready to go?”

“As I’ll ever be.” Rick nods shortly, adjusting his hips on the pillow. “What do you want me to..?”

“Just lay still. Pull your legs up a little bit. That’s it – looks good, hon.”

Rick swallows. He feels on display, like an object. He jumps a little when Negan presses a kiss to his inner thigh, and Negan glances up at him to check that he’s alright. He gives another little nod. Slowly Negan continues brushing kisses down his thigh to his hips, one hand moving to stroke his dick. His hips jerk a little at the shock the touch sends through him, and he takes a shaky breath.

“You,” Negan begins softly, and Rick chokes on a whimper at the warmth that ghosts over his entrance, “are gorgeous, Rick.”

Slowly, carefully, Negan presses a soft kiss to his hole. He makes a sound that’s half-sigh, half-whine; the contact sends a jolt up his spine, and he reaches down to wind a hand through Negan’s hair. After a few cautious licks, and more kisses, all of which get positive reactions, Negan nudges his legs closer together and settles more comfortably into the position.

Negan’s talented with his mouth, that’s for sure. Rick can’t tell if it’s the aftermath of the alcohol or what, but Negan’s got him all wound up after only a few minutes, shaking and whimpering and completely helpless to the tongue dipping in and out of him. It’s oddly intimate, in a way a hook up shouldn’t be, but hell, they’d passed hook up four stops ago.

Rick’s high on the pleasure, blissed out enough that it takes him a second to notice when Negan pulls away. He’s got one hand resting haphazardly on the back of Negan’s head, the other twisted into the sheets so hard his knuckles ache, and when Negan sits up he halfway lifts his head, blue eyes glazed.

Negan growls, real soft, moving up to kiss him again. He hooks one leg around Negan’s waist, whining into the kiss, and pulls at Negan’s shirt. Negan lets him pull it off, discarding it to wherever the hell his pants had gone, and he takes a moment to run his fingers over the muscles of Negan’s arms and chest. Negan’s older, maybe, but he’s strong, and knowing he could break Rick over one knee is more of a turn-on than it should be.

Rick inhales sharply, drawn out of his thoughts, when Negan bites down on the side of his neck. He arches up with a shaky keen, gripping pitifully at Negan’s dark hair. Negan’s mouth is warm on his skin, sucking and kissing and licking, and the sensations send tingles down Rick’s body, all the way to his toes.

“Negan,” He whines, although it’s more of a moan that is only somewhat intelligible. “Negan, Negan..”

“I know,” Negan murmurs. “I know, honey, I’m right here.”

Negan carefully pops the cap of the lube bottle and spills some onto his fingers. Rick shudders – he can feel the chill it gives off as Negan’s hand dips between his thighs – and almost at once makes a pitiful sort of sound as Negan works a finger into him. His toes curl, legs pulling up a little, all of their own accord, and Negan coos softly against his temple.

“Easy,” Negan breathes, kissing against Rick’s hairline, “Easy, Rick. Relax. It’s only gonna be more difficult if you’re all tense.”

Rick takes a few deep breaths, forcing his muscles to relax. It burns, just a little; enough to make his hips shift, automatically recoiling. Negan hums softly to soothe him, carefully quirking the digit inside him, and he stutters on a whimper, sucking his lower lip between his teeth. It’s weird – he feels almost violated, and as of now it’s.. not all that impressive. Not nearly as good as Negan’s mouth. The only pleasure he’s deriving is from the alcohol.

“It’ll get better,” Negan rumbles softly with a touch of amusement, as if he can sense Rick’s thoughts. “Especially when I get my cock in you. For now, we gotta get you stretched out to take me, okay?”

Rick nods uncertainly. After a pause Negan slips in the second finger, and Rick hisses through his teeth as the breach, resisting the urge to sit up and pull away. Negan kisses against his neck and shoulder, humming lightly, and carefully begins to work the digits in and out. Rick can’t deny he’s shivering; there’s some sort of friction inside him, but his body’s confused, unable to tell if it’s good or bad.

Negan feels against his insides, and for a moment he’s not sure what Negan’s looking for – at least until a spark runs up his spine and he gasps sharply, throwing one hand up to grasp at Negan’s back. Negan chuckles against his jaw, and from then on out he brushes the spot with each and every move of his fingers. Rick throws his head back against the pillows, lips falling open with ragged gasps and whines. Negan’s settling into an easy rhythm, crooking and scissoring his fingers with even flicks of his wrists, and he’s careful to tease Rick’s walls, and fuck, Rick sees the appeal now.

“Negan,” He keens, feet pressing into the mattress. “Negan, oh..”

“I got you, baby,” Negan croons. “I’m right here. Hold on to me, baby, I got you.”

Rick bites his lower lip hard enough to bruise, leaving crescent marks in Negan’s shoulder. Every touch to his prostate makes his hips jerk a little, and he takes a half-hiccuping breath.

“Think you can take a little more?” Negan says gently against his neck, and he nods. Negan eases the two fingers out of him and he whimpers involuntarily, free hand curling into the sheets. “Alright, honey,” Negan adds, real soft. “Sit up for me, babe.”

Rick obeys and sits up on the pillow. Negan slips behind him, arms wrapping around his torso and kissing sweetly along the curve of his shoulder. He leans into Negan’s warm chest, head tilting back, and Negan’s lips trail up the side of his throat. The scratch of stubble is nice, and while it feels odd, it’s comforting. Negan reaches to the side, grabbing the dildo, and layers a coat of lube onto the toy.

“Y’can’t just fuck me?” Rick mumbles, head lolling to the side to give Negan access to more skin. Negan chuckles softly.

“I would, but.. gotta take the stretching slow. I don’t wanna hurt you.”

Rick just nods, taking a deep breath. For a few moments Negan teases his entrance with the tip of the toy, turning it in small circles, until he rocks his hips a little, sighing with want.

“I know I’m sayin’ it a lot, but fuck, you’re so pretty,” Negan says softly into his shoulder. Rick’s cheeks flush and he shifts a little. Slowly Negan eases the head of the toy into him; he jolts a little, hissing through his teeth, and Negan murmurs an apology into the connect of his jaw.

Negan,” He manages in a strangled whisper, mouth falling open in a wordless moan. “Oh, Christ.”

“Does it hurt?” Negan murmurs. He shakes his head pitifully, easing his legs open a little more. He can’t tell why – if he’s just that turned on, or if it’s the alcohol, or what, but it doesn’t hurt. It’s just good.

It takes a minute or two for Negan to push the toy in the entire way. It’s textured, ridged, and it’s rubbing so damn good on his insides as Negan slowly begins to work it in and out – his legs are shaking already, and he lets the pleasure take him over for a second.

“Hope this one’s good for you,” Negan purrs against his neck. “Thought about one of the vibrating ones, but.. didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

Rick’s tongue feels like lead, and it takes him a long moment to be able to speak. “S-so – do y-you just – have a bunch of these lyin’ around?” Negan laughs softly, kissing his lightly freckled shoulder.

“Not lyin’ around,” Negan teases softly. “I take care of ‘em. Never know what you’re going to need, right? Yeah.. I got all kinds. Thought this would feel best for you.”

Rick just nods, panting as he rocks into the movements. He doesn’t want to talk right now – he just wants Negan to fuck him, wants the aching pleasure to last forever. Negan chuckles softly, kissing along the shell of his ear.

“Such a good boy,” Negan coos. “So good, Rick. Look at you, takin’ a thick toy like this. That’s it, honey.. you’re so good, Rick.”

Rick whimpers, biting his lower lip. Negan’s voice is like syrup in his ears, making him feel sluggish and dazed; not all of the words make sense, but he can grasp the meaning well enough, and the praise makes him shudder.

“Oh, Rick,” Negan continues breathlessly, increasing how roughly he’s fucking the toy into Rick’s body. “Oh, Christ, there’s so much resistance in you, baby. You’re so fucking tight. Bet you’re gonna feel so good riding my cock, squeezing me – fuck – you’re gonna feel so good, baby, I’m gonna fuck you so good..”

Rick keens pitifully, back arching, and he clutches at Negan’s wrists and chokes out a sob. His dick aches between his legs, throbbing in the cool air, precum rolling down the underside. He wants Negan inside him, bad. Negan slows the pace a little, tongue trailing along the ridge of his jugular vein.

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t wanna wait any longer,” Negan growls softly. He nods shakily. Slowly Negan pulls the toy out – Rick makes the most pathetic sound he thinks he’s ever made – and turns him onto his belly, with Negan’s weight pressing down onto his back. He finds he likes this position very much. There’s a pause, filled only with the sound of Negan shedding his jeans and boxers, and then Negan’s leaning on top of him, kissing his shoulder and neck.

“You ready, Rick?” Negan prompts, reaching for the lube bottle, and Rick nods again. Negan drips some lube on his dick and then, on a second thought, over Rick’s ass – Rick squeaks in surprise at the chill, and Negan chuckles lowly against his shoulder.

“Hope you’re ready,” Negan breathes, carefully aligning himself with Rick’s hole. Slowly, cautiously, he pushes in; Rick buries his face in the pillows to stifle the half-sob, half-cry he lets out. Negan hadn’t been shitting him. It’s thick, stretching him more than he thought he’d ever be, and he thinks he might break right in two.

“Fuck,” He whimpers, fists curling into the pillows under his head. “Fuck, fuck, Negan-”

“So tight,” Negan mutters into the back of his neck. “God, yes, Rick. You’re so fucking tight, Rick.”

Rick arches his back involuntarily, torn between pushing back and pulling away, and Negan grabs his hips to hold him still. It feels so good, feels like he’s going to die, he needs Negan so bad, and it feels like an eternity before Negan bottoms out.

“Oh, God,” He sobs helplessly. “Shit. I can’t, I can’t.”

“Easy,” Negan says. “Easy, easy.. breathe, Rick.. you’re alright, hon, come on..”

Rick wishes he could stop shaking, or at least relax. Negan’s kissing soft over his shoulder, murmuring sweet nothings against the back of his neck, and he tries to let it soothe him. It takes a few moments, but eventually he leans back against Negan’s hips. Negan lets out a breath against his shoulderblade.

“Tell me when, honey,” Negan breathes. “Take your time..”

“Move,” Rick gasps. “Fuck me.”

Slowly Negan pulls back, pushes back in slow. Rick whines, gritting his teeth, and Negan leans to twine their hands together on the pillow. He feels like he’s going to break. Negan settles into a rhythm, for a moment, giving slow, shallow rolls of his hips until Rick relaxes again.

Then he ups the pace a little. He pulls out further with each thrust, and every inward movement gets rougher, and it’s not long before Rick finds it in himself to push back. Negan groans appreciatively, arms wrapping around his waist.

“So good,” Negan mutters, tugging lightly on Rick’s earlobe with his teeth. “So fucking good, baby. Takin’ me like this.”

“Feels good,” Rick whimpers, and Christ, he sounds wrecked. “Good, it’s so good, don’t stop. Y’re – y’re hittin’ my sp-spot, fuck..”

“Yeah?” Negan purrs, one hand sliding between his legs to stroke his cock, angling to hit his prostate with each thrust. “You mean like that?”

Rick nods wordlessly, moaning into the pillow. He’s rocking helplessly into Negan’s movements, which are deep and even and quick – rough enough to jerk him forward with every thrust in. He feels stretched, broken on the inside, and his stomach and back ache, but it’s good, it’s so good, his head is spinning. His muscles burn, and every hit of Negan’s hips against his own sends a burning spark up his spine.

“More,” He manages, although his Southern accent is coming out so thick he’s not even sure it’s understandable. “More, more, Negan.”

“That’s it,” Negan says huskily, sucking a mark into the side of his throat. “That’s a good boy, Rick. Fuck, honey, you’re so fucking tight, gonna make me come.”

Rick makes a sound that’s half a sob. Negan’s slamming his spot, over and over, hard and fast, and he’s going to die if it keeps on, he just knows it. Negan’s thumb passes over the tip of his dick and his hips jerk involuntarily, all but impaling himself on Negan inside him.

“Please,” He slurs, unsure as to what he’s begging for. “Please, please.”

“I got you, honey.” Negan’s free hand runs over his belly soothingly, helping him stay up. “I’m right here, baby, just relax. Just breathe. I got you, you’re okay.”

“I can’t,” Rick’s shoulders shake; his mind is going blank, he can’t think, he can’t breathe, “I can’t, Negan, please-”

“Let go.” Negan murmurs, nipping at the back of his neck. “Let go for me, honey, I’m here. Don’t hold it. It’s okay.”

Rick’s toes curl of their own volition as he comes, his whole body stiffening up, and he thinks he cries out – he can’t exactly tell. Negan doesn’t stop, instead fucking into him harder. The sensations are overwhelming, he’s going to die, he’s going to die,

“You’re mine,” Negan pants, face buried against his curls. “Mine, Rick, you’re fucking mine, you understand? You belong to me, you’re mine. Nobody else is gonna fuck you like this – just me.”

Rick sobs, gripping Negan’s hand. Negan’s thrusts are stuttering a little, slowing down but fucking in harder, so it’s no surprise when Negan spills into him. He pushes back, making a pitifully raspy keening sound.

Negan’s breathing hard, holding Rick’s hip, and after a pause he pulls out. Rick sinks onto the mattress at once, shaking – his cheeks are damp and he realizes he’s crying. He’s split and sore and aches, bad, and after a moment Negan lays beside him, one arm slung around his waist.

“Easy,” Negan whispers softly. “Easy, Rick. Breathe, honey, you’re okay.”

Rick hiccups, turning to curl into Negan’s chest. Negan presses a soft, gentle kiss to the top of his head, rubbing his back, and he clutches at Negan’s arms desperately. Negan murmurs sweet little nothings into his curls, fingers massaging circles into the small of his back.

“I’m here, baby,” Negan murmurs. “I’m right here, you’re alright.”

Rick takes a few deep, shaky breaths. Negan’s warm, holding him firm, and it only takes a few minutes for him to calm down. He sinks into Negan’s grip, tucking himself close against Negan’s chest.

“I know I said I’m not a one-and-done dude,” Negan says, after a few moments. “But I think it’s best if you get some rest. Okay?”

Rick nods. “You’re.. you’re gonna stay, right?” Rick mumbles, with a shy sort of glance up through his eyelashes, and Negan chuckles softly, kissing his forehead.

“Course I am, baby. Now sleep. You need it.”

Rick sighs, relaxing, and lets his eyes slip shut. He’s warm and comfortable and tired, and he realizes vaguely that the alcohol seemed to have work itself out of his system. Mostly. Maybe. He yawns, tucking his head under Negan’s chin, and Negan hums him to sleep.


 

When he wakes up again Negan’s still curled around him. He blinks a few times; the room is dark, the thick curtains drawn tight and every lamp off. Negan hums, brushing one stray curl out of his face, and he turns onto his back to peer sleepily at the older man.

“Good morning,” Negan murmurs, voice raspy with sleep. “Sleep well?”

“Like the dead,” Rick agrees. “How long ‘ve you been up?”

“Not long. Ten minutes, maybe.” Negan tilts his head a little, hazel eyes examining Rick’s face. “Do you.. remember last night?”

“Yeah.” Rick lets out a soft breath, reaching up to tangle his fingers with Negan’s, and Negan lets him. “I still don’t know.. what I am. But I’m glad I got to spend a night with you.”

“You could spend another night,” Negan offers, but Rick offers a wry smile.

“No. I gotta get my kids.. take ‘em home.”

Negan dips his head to catch Rick’s lips, sweet and soft, and Rick sighs contentedly. “I could take you on a date sometime, then,” Negan murmurs into the kiss, thumb running over Rick’s knuckles. “Go out to dinner, or something.”

“I think that’d be nice.” Rick lets his eyes close, leaning his forehead against Negan’s. “But not tonight.”

“No.” Negan hums. “Maybe next weekend, huh?”

Rick nods, dipping his head to bury his face in Negan’s shoulder. “Next weekend.. sounds good. I’ll give you my number. We can set somethin’ up.”

“Mm.” Negan sighs softly, his breath warm against Rick’s temple. “I don’t want you to go.”

“You sure do get attached easy, huh?” Rick murmurs, and Negan chuckles. “I’d stay here ‘n sleep all day if I could, but.. I should be going. Can’t ask Shane to watch the kids all day..”

“Text me,” Negan mumbles into his shoulder, and he murmurs agreement as he slips out of bed. His clothes are folded on the desk; they’d obviously been washed overnight. Rick wonders just how long Negan had stayed up. He pulls them on and casts a glance at Negan, who’s already out like a light, face buried in the pillow. He’s careful to be quiet as he squeezes out of the room, trying not to wake Negan again.

He jots down his number on a notepad next to the front door before stepping outside into the cool air. He really, really wishes he could stay, curled in Negan’s warm embrace, he thinks as he shoves his hands in his pockets. A brush of paper on the tips of his fingers alerts him and he pulls out a folded piece of printer paper. He unfolds it, and finds himself grinning like an idiot at the words scrawled in big, looping text. It’s Negan’s number, and underneath-

You bet your pretty ass I’ll see you again, Rick. Call me.