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Phenomenon of Sheer Energy

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Being the new superhero on the block sucks.

No, I'm serious. Look, every time I save some kid, I can see it in his eyes: jealousy that I get to have the cool armor and weapons and stuff. And I want to sit him down and say that it's not all that great. (Um, sometimes I see something else in his eyes and I want to point out I have a girlfriend, but dude, whatever floats his boat, y'know?)

I mean, the worst thing most kids have to worry about is whether there's gang activity in their neighborhood. Me? I have to worry about whether Superman gets possessed by some alien and tries to rip the scarab out of my body bare-handed.

Anyway, being new sucks for a lot of reasons, mostly connected to having no fu-- darn idea what I'm doing most of the time. Somehow I feel like this sort of stuff never happens to Robin. Or if it does, he has some secret Bat-method of ensuring nobody ever teases him about it. Maybe he wipes their memories, for all I know.

What sort of stuff? Oh no, I don't want to talk about it. It was really stupid. Nothing in particular, just...

No, I didn't start talking to you because I wanted to tell you about it. I just talk too much. That's what Peacemaker always says, at least.

I'm not trying to distract you, I just don't really want to complain about it.

Okay, yes, I'm trying to distract you, because it was stupid. I don't want to--hey! Hey, no tickling! Pare eso! No fair tickling to...okay, okay, I'll tell you.

Jeez, a guy doesn't get any privacy around Titans Tower, huh? Yo, I said I'd tell you, now back off!

Hmmph. Okay, so it really wasn't anything important. I was on a street corner in the middle of town, fighting this majorly lame one-armed supervillain, and I guess I wasn't taking him all that seriously, but how seriously can you take a guy who calls himself Slipknot?

I'm getting there, all right? So, I'm putting the smackdown on Rope Guy and mostly thinking about whether I finished my book report on Of Mice and Men, when this dude hits me with some magic snake gizmo he said he got from Kobra, I guess because his powers were so lame. The scarab gave me a whole report later on exactly why this thing caused it to momentarily lose control, but...

Fine. For about five seconds, I was standing in the middle of El Paso stark naked. Happy now?

Okay, Rose, you can stop laughing now. Really. Any minute now. It wasn't that funny. I mean it. Don't make me break out the noogies, 'cause the scarab gets a little out of hand.

Dude. Being the new superhero on the block sucks, y'know?