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Screams rouse you from your uneasy sleep, and you bolt upright, heart pounding. The door to your room bursts open and John stands there, breathing heavily. His sleeves are rolled past his elbows and the dark circles under his eyes lets you know he hasn’t gotten any rest. When he says your name it’s sharp and commanding.

“Rise and shine, love,” he pants. “We need your talents.”

Shit, you were afraid of this.

Unable to answer, you swallow thickly and nod, shoving your twisted comforter away. By the time you climb out of the oversized bed, John’s disappeared and you’re left alone again.

When John told you it was time to test yourself in the field, you should have argued. You should have fought him back, snapped at him. But you didn’t. You agreed, though with much hesitancy. And why?

You know exactly why, you scold yourself, pulling on a pair of jeans.

Of course he thought you were ready, he’s already done what you can do, in a sense. He’s exorcised demons before. Granted, your abilities come naturally while he had to work hard at his, but still. Despite all his knowledge and skill, he hasn’t been able to control demons.

You can. The lesser ones, at least.

Hair tousled from sleep and heart still racing, you quickly leave the room. The mansion you’re staying in belongs to some rich person, whose name you never caught. Actually, they never showed themselves. Zed and John dealt mostly with their lawyers, as they wanted to keep everything going on hush-hush. Once it was agreed your friends would take the job, you, John, Zed, and Chas were whisked away to a home bigger than all of your previous homes combined. After being shoved into a private wing, you were left to deal with the “problem”, as they called it.

John and the others had gotten to work immediately, but you had been told to get some sleep. They didn’t want to bring you in unless they absolutely had to, which seems like that’s currently the case.

At the end of the hall, a door sits open ominously and you push down your nerves as you walk towards it. This power inside you, the one you’re going to use in a short time, comes with drawbacks. It’s not controlling the demon or the dark magic that’s the issue, it’s controlling yourself once it takes hold. You’ve had a lot of practice, but that’s all been on smaller things. This is much bigger, and you are starting to doubt you can handle it.

Inside the room, the most hideous noises make you want to turn and bolt. You left that life for a reason. Despite being born into it, you never really did have the stomach for this kind of thing. A fact you recall as said stomach twists unpleasantly. Various objects fly by the doorway and John’s chanting is nearly drowned out by a bone-chilling laugh. You stop in your tracks, shutting your eyes and covering your ears. But you still hear the thing's voice, echoing in your mind.

“Your words mean nothing to me, John Constantine!” the voice snarls. “ This boy summoned me! His soul and life will be mine!”

“John, we need her!” Chas bellows.

“Zed! Go find out what’s bloody taking her so long!” John snaps.

There’s scuffling and then footsteps come your way. You can't move, paralyzed with fear.

Zed calls your name, but you ignore her. “Honey, we need you.” Her voice is firm, but kind. You sense her come to a stop right in front of you. “It’s time to show that bastard what you got.”

You’re shaking your head before she even finishes, chest heaving as you stumble backwards to lean against the nearest wall for support. “I-I can’t do this, Zed,” you stutter. “I can’t, I can’t!”

“Hey, hey,” she says, voice softening. She pries your hands away from your ears. “Look at me.” You force your eyes open, looking into her sympathetic ones. “You can do this. I know you can. I’ve seen it.”

Your heart skips a bit and a sliver of hope sparks in your chest. “You have?” you ask.

Zed smiles, nodding. “I know you’re scared. I’m terrified. We all are. But there’s a young man who needs our help. You’re going to get in there and force that demon out of him, or he dies. Got it?”

That certainly puts things into perspective, and you nod, albeit it’s forced. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right,” you say, taking a deep breath.

There’s a sudden loud crash and John’s voice echoes down the hall. “Oi! A LITTLE HELP HERE WOULD BE BLOODY NICE!”

Snapping out of your panic, you look at the door with determination, push off the wall and square your shoulders. With Zed by your side, you march down the rest of the hall and cross the threshold.

The room is a mess. Broken glass and furniture litter the floor, the curtains from the shattered windows whipping around by the force of the supernatural wind. A teenage boy lays strapped to his bed, eyes red as smoke and flames billow out of them. John stands at the foot of the bed, hand outstretched and body tight in a defensive stance, while Chas stands off to the side, clutching a crucifix.

The demon sees you and immediately begins to chuckle. “ Another whore! You shouldn’t have, Constantine. Surprised you haven’t fucked this one too like to do to all the others--” it snarls, but before it can continue, John hits it with more holy water. You didn’t even see the bottle in his other hand.

The demon screeches in pain, tugging on it’s bindings.

Just the thought of holy water touching your own skin is enough to make you almost bolt again, but Zed’s pep talk is still ringing in your ears and instead, you clench your teeth, moving towards John.

“P-P-Please stop,” the boy’s voice is now that of a teenager, meek and scared. “Please, you’re hurting me! Where are my parents? Please!”

Your heart twists, but you know it’s a trick. There’s no way the demon retreated that easily. You steel your nerves and move to stand to John’s right, while Zed takes her place on the side of the bed Chas isn’t currently covering. She clutches the crucifix around her neck, praying under her breath before picking up a larger cross off the end table.

“Nice of you to join us,” John grumbles.

“You want me help or not?” you snap at him.

He’s surprised by your response, not use to you talking back. But rather than be angry, he smirks and nods towards the bed. “Shall we?” he asks.

The laughing starts again as John continues his chanting. You stare at the pitiful creature before you, hands twitching as your body adjusts to the dark energy in the room.

This is your plan, Constantine?” the demon sneers. “ Drag some poor idiotic soul in here just to watch me destroy the boy? And they say I'm the demon!”

Its red eyes focus on yours suddenly. “ And you! Letting this man drag you to hell because you love him! Letting him take advantage just because you want his--”

“You're done talking now!” you command. But your voice is no longer your own. It's deeper than it has any right to be, and as you speak, tendrils of dark energy pour out of your mouth. They wrap around your body, like smokey armor, and you feel them traveling down your arms towards your hands. “ And why would he drag me to hell, when he’s the one who pulled me from it?”

The demon’s eyes grow wide and it hisses, fighting its bindings harder. However, it can no longer speak and you can't help the pleased smile that crosses your face. Without warning you reach toward the thing on the bed, and it shrieks in pain.

You can feel it writhing inside the boy, trying to burrow deeper to escape your hold, but it can’t.

You can keep chanting now ,” you tell John.

He listens, and you hold the demon in place, feeling it slowly lose its grip the more John continues the exorcism. Your body is humming at the use of such potent demonic magic, the familiar feeling so very welcomed after such a long time. It’s like a fix of the best drug you’ve ever sampled, only amplified times a thousand.

However, the fire in the demon’s eyes is starting to lick at the boy's face and his screams mix with the entity’s.

“John, it's burning him!” Chas yells.

“Do now!” John commands.

Gritting your teeth, you close your hand into a fist and yank the demon out of the teen. It appears suspended above the bed, a mass of screaming flames. But without a vessel, you can't hold it for long and when your eyes fall on Chas, an idea strikes you.

Chas realizes what you’re going to do a second before it happens, and he drops the crucifix in resignation. You direct the demon into him, the force of which nearly makes you collapse.

John's hands catch you instantly, but you shrug him off. “ I’m fine, keep going, ” you order. The darkness is still swirling around your body in excitement, and your heart is beating rapidly.

“I can't hold him...for long…” Chas barely manages to say.

Fists and teeth clenched, Chas is using all his willpower to not let the thing get control of him. It’s weak, exceptionally weak, however it won’t go down without a fight. Already Chas’s skin is burning and John rushes to him, placing a hand on his forehead while he finishes the chant. The demon and Chas scream, and suddenly his body is enveloped in flames.

John jumps back and Zed screams. With the last of your energy, you direct the dark energy at Chas’s chest, shoving the evil out of him and back to hell, leaving a burn mark on the wall behind him.

You both collapse on the ground, though Chas is a burning corpse. Fuck.

You don't realize you're hyperventilating until Zed is wrapping her arms around you saying, “He'll come back, it's okay he can come back!”

John is too busy examining Chas. He bends down to gingerly check his pulse before sighing. “Another one off the list,” he says. “How many is he at now?”

“Mid-twenties,” Zed answers.

“The boy,” you whisper, drained. “Is he--?”

Zed scrambles to her feet to check. John watches you for a moment before crawling over. “C’mere.”

You allow him to cup your face as he draws closer. For a brief moment you think he's going to kiss you on the lips, but instead he plants one on your forehead. “You did good,” he assures you.

“I killed Chas,” you say, dead-panned.

John shrugs. “It happens,” he says.

“The boy's alive,” Zed announces.

You sag against John in relief, letting out a bark of laughter. John pulls you into a tight hug, burying his face in your hair. It takes a few times, but with John’s help you’re able to get to your feet to see for yourself. The teenager looks to have passed out from exhaustion, and though there are first degree burns around his eyes, he looks relatively unharmed. His chest is rising and falling steadily and the color is returning to his cheeks.

“Good,” you say. “I’m going to pass out now.”

And you do.

When you come to later, you’re back in the guest room, tucked into bed with John at your side. At first he doesn’t notice you’re awake, since he’s more preoccupied with fishing out the last cigarette from a crumpled carton. You take mental stock of the state of your body. Nothing hurts and the dark energy has long since dissipated, however you are pantless and you briefly wonder if John undressed you or Zed. Not that you care either way.

“I feel like hell,” you grumble.

John smirks, lighting the cigarette perched between his lips. “Isn’t that how you feel every day?” he teases. With a flick, he snaps the lighter closed and shoves it into his pocket.

“Haha, I always forget how funny you think you are,” you mumble, rubbing your tired eyes.

John pulls his chair forward. “Come on, a demon saying she feels like hell? As if I could pass of the chance to have a go,” he says.

“Former-demon,” you correct.

John takes a drag, exhaling smoke through his nostrils before he reaches forward and pushes the hair back from your face. “All is well,” he says. “Chas is in his room recovering.”

“Where’s Zed?”

“Talking to the kid,” John says. “I think. At least that’s where I left her after we put you to bed. That was some time ago. Didn’t want you to wake up alone.”

You curse yourself for blushing, but John doesn’t call attention to it, even though he looks amused. “I’m sorry I froze,” you say, changing the subject. “It’s just, I’m always afraid to use that side of me because…”

You let the thought hang there, knowing you don’t have to finish.

“You can control it now,” John says. “And you did good, love. That kid is alive because of you.” He takes another drag, letting the ash fall onto the expensive carpet.

“Why did you help me get out of hell?” you ask him. “You didn’t have to. You could have easily just left me there.”

“Why didn’t you tell me to bugger off even though you didn’t think you were ready for this job?” John counters, eyebrow raised in challenge.

You avoid his gaze, instead looking out the window, where the stars twinkle brightly against the dark blue sky. The silence falls over you both, as neither one of you can muster up the nerve to say what you really want to say.

John evidently gets over it. “How long are we not going to address the elephant in the room?” he asks.

You ponder his inquiry, unsure of how to answer. “You know, if this were a sitcom, there would be a literal elephant in the room,” you joke, weakly.

John cracks a smile, rolling his eyes. “Aye, but this isn’t a sitcom,” he points out.

“No. No it’s not.” You fiddle with the comforter, needing to do something with your hands. “I don’t know what you want from me, John.”

John is silent, taking a long drag before he answers. “Nothing you’re not willing to give,” he eventually says.

So the choice is up to you? You want to, fuck you want to go for it so bad. But this darkness in you, this demonic nature, you don’t know what would happen should you go through with your lust. It already takes hold when you’re angry, you have no idea how it’ll react during the throes of passion.

“You should get some sleep,” you finally conclude. “You’ve been awake for nearly twenty-four hours. We can talk about this later. Promise.”

John stares at you for a moment, probably trying to determine if this is a rejection. He seems to decide it’s not because he smiles softly. “Yeah, alright,” he agrees, popping the cigarette back into his mouth. He reaches out to stroke your hair, before heaving himself out of his seat. “Goodnight, love. Enjoy your rest. You’ve earned it.”

“You have too.”

John smiles, down at you. “I’m the prat who said some funny words,” he says. “You’re the one who sent that nasty bugger back to where he crawled from.”

“And I made him shut up,” you remind him.

John chuckles, shoving his hands into his pockets. “That you did, love,” he says. With a smile and a wink, he leaves you to rest.

Part of you wants to call out after him, to ask him to stay, but your anxiety holds you back. You watch him go, longingly, smiling as he pauses at the door to look back. He stares for a moment, before he shuts off the lights. You don’t look away until the door closes and you hear his footsteps retreat down the hall.

Only then do you curl on your side and fall back into a dreamless sleep.

Hours later, your eyes slide open to find the room dark, and everything silent. It’s the dead of night, the light from the moon filtering in through the open windows. The soft creaking of your bedroom door makes you slowly turn to look. At first you think you must be dreaming, because John is creeping into your room, silently closing the door behind him. He’s nude, which means he must have woken up and come straight to you, since he typically sleeps without a stitch of clothing.

John walks to the other side of the bed, and pauses for a second as if quietly asking for your permission. Your heart is pounding in your chest at the vision he presents, naked and bathed in moonlight. You draw the blanket back for him. John smiles and slides in next to you.

As he shifts closer, you can’t help but follow suit. Neither of you say anything and without waiting for him to make the first move, you sit up to remove the oversized t-shirt you’re wearing, letting it fall to the floor.

John pulls you on top of him, pushing your underwear down in the process. You kick out of them impatiently, before allowing your bodies to slide together. It feels amazing and electric, and you bask in the new sensations while John runs his hands up your back. His other hand finds it way into your hair, and then he’s yanking you into a kiss, slow and sensuous.

Gasping in surprise, you don’t move at first, too stunned by what’s happening. Any lingering thoughts that this could be a dream are instantly swept away. John laps at your lips eagerly, grunting in the back of his throat. The sound awakens something in you, and spurs you into action. You kiss him back feverishly, sliding your arms around his neck while he crushes you to his chest.

All the power and demonic magic can never give you a big a rush as kissing John does. It goes beyond physical you conclude, even as John’s tongue finds yours. It stirs something primal, which instantly sends a wave of anxiety through you.

You jerk back with a gasp.

“W’as wrong, love?” John pants softly, breath mingling with yours.

“Afraid of losing control,” you whisper.

John smirks, reaching down to grab your backside as he thrusts upward. The distinct feeling of his cock slides between your legs and it sends a stab of desire straight through your heart. “Do it, love,” he urges. “Lose control with Johnny.”

Growling, you attack his mouth in a vicious kiss, shoving your tongue as far in as you can go. Hands roam your body, mapping every curve and dip, while your tongue explores John’s mouth. He tastes slightly of sleep, but mostly of what you assume is himself. His cock starts to swell with each thrust up, and soon you’re slick against him. You rut against one another for some time, growing accustomed to each other’s touch and kiss.

After knowing one another for so many years, wanting this for such a long time, you can’t get enough and you briefly wonder how you will manage to get anything else done in the future. If it’s always going to be like this, you may just give up fighting demons all together just so you can spend your time sucking John’s tongue into your mouth.

John gives your ass another squeeze before reaching between your legs to touch you, and the quick stroke is enough to make you moan. You draw back, sucking in great gulps of air, but he cups the back of your head to keep you in place, eyes locked on yours so he can see how you look when he slides his fingers in. It’s brief, just enough to make sure you’re ready for him, before they’re gone and he reaches down to take hold of himself.

With a grunt and a short thrust up, the head of his cock is pushing in and you moan louder than before, sinking onto him. You almost forget to breathe, so entranced by the slow stretch and sensation of being filled. No matter how much you’ve read about this exact moment, nothing compares to experiencing it in real life. You’ve experimented on your own of course, yet no toy or your own fingers can fill you the way John is. Nothing makes up for the warmth of another body pressed against yours, another heartbeat drumming in tandem with yours, another mouth tasting yours. It feels like it takes forever until he’s fully sheathed, but once he is, you never want to let him go.

And then he starts to move.

Slowly, almost tentative, he starts to thrust in and out of you, as if he’s trying to give you time to adjust to the intrusion. While you appreciate the gesture, you find it unnecessary and meet his thrusts each time, already wanting more. You want all of him. You want him buried to the hilt while you rock on his lap, nails digging into his flesh, teeth biting his shoulder, blood pouring from his throat…

You instantly freeze at the thought, and John does too when he feels you tense.

“Does it hurt?” he asks breathlessly.

You shake your head, whimpering as you feel him throb. Your walls clench instinctively and he lets out a low grunt.

“No, it feels wonderful,” you assure him. “It’s just...my nature is...making itself known.”

John considers your words for a moment, before wrapping an arm around your waist and sitting up. You cling to him in surprise as he moves backwards to sit against the headboard, still keeping you firmly on his lap. Once he’s settled, he draws the blankets around the two of you to ward off the chill of the room.

“You aren’t going to hurt me,” he says, placing a hand on your cheek. “Take it slow, love. Stay focused on me, on us. On this .” He grinds up against you and the head of his cock brushes past something that makes you nearly forget your own name.

It’s easy to do what he says when he looks so eager, pupils blown wide with desire as you start to grind against his lap. Instantly his eyelids droop and a lazy smile crosses his face, both hands falling to grip your waist.

“That’s it, love,” he coos. “Jus’ like that...ohhh…”

You brace one hand against the elaborate headboard, the other sliding around the back of John’s neck to tangle in the hair there. Now that you have better leverage, you grind down hard and his head falls back with a dull thud, tongue swiping at his dry lips. The urge to kiss him is fierce so you don’t hold back, dragging him forward and colliding your mouth with his painfully. That dark part of you starts to recede just a bit, and you continue to roll your hips, grinding against him each time you take him all the way down to the base.

John groans into your mouth, tongue pushing past your lips. You can feel the pleasure coursing through your body continually now, each shockwave urging you to go faster, grind harder. But you force yourself to keep the steady pace, and soon John is meeting your movements with thrusts of his own.

“John,” you gasp softly, breaking the kiss to throw your head back. The headboard cracks under your hand as your fingers dig into the wood.

John whispers your name, burying his face in your throat, kissing and nipping any bit of flesh in front of him. He’s thrusting up harder now, and though your knees are cramping you don’t want to stop because you can feel the pressure inside of you building. Without warning, you’re slammed with a wave of pleasure you can’t contain, and you practically bounce on John while you chase the feeling, never wanting it to end.

Both hands are on the headboard now, you rip it in half, sending both pieces onto the floor. It’s not until you’re body starts shaking that you realize you came for the first time. Pleasuring yourself never resulted in anything closely resembling what just happened, which only makes you want to keep going.

John is close himself, taking you as hard as he can between sloppy kisses and loud moans, his arms holding you up. He comes inside of you, his warm seed spilling down your thighs in the process. But you keep moving, still wanting more even as he finishes. He stops you with a kiss and a squeeze to the hips.

Trembling and satisfied, you allow him to lay you on your side, moaning with sadness as his softening cock slips out of you. John swallows the sound with a deep kiss. Sated, you both withdraw and try to catch your breath while staring at each other, unable to look anywhere else. John pulls you close, your limbs tangling together in a tired heap, before he rests his forehead against yours.

“Glad you decided to leave hell,” he says, voice slurred from a mix of tiredness and pure satisfaction.

“Glad you helped me,” you add.

John smiles and pulls you into another kiss.