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Of Detectives and Divas

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Mello was a unabashed Madonna fan.

Everyone in Wammy knew that.

So when Mello decided than he had to go to Madonna's concert in Winchester, no one was surprised.

No one except L, who was told by Watari to accompany Mello.

"I don't want to." stated L bluntly when Watari had explained to L that Mello needed someone older to accompany him there.

"Mello can take care of himself" No one knew that better than L, if the bruises that Mello gave to the other kids in the orphanage was any evidence

"I know he can but his baby face doesn't fool anyone. he needs an adult to accompany him."

"You and Roger can go.Besides Mello still doesn't know me"

That's the elephant on the room, wasn't it? L had yet to present himself on person to his successors.

"Two elder gentlemen in the concert of a pop star would  look a little too strange, it has to be you. And you aren't going to present to Mello as L, but as Mr Smith, an old student of Roger in Cambridge" explained Watari, with a tone of voice that broke no room for argument.

L stood no chance.


Well, this was awkward.

Watari stated that he needed to dress a little more "normal" for the concert, but L put on his big boy face and stated that if he was being forced to go to a concert, he at least needed to be comfortable, meaning he was going with his uniform of baggy jeans and white T-Shirt. His ID was safe too. Roger had convinced Mello that Mr. Smith was a scholar who had colaborated in the creation of Wammy House's most recent school curriculum. L could tell that Mello didn't truly believe that, but he was willing to play along for the time being.

Now L was waiting in line with his usual clothes, but with big dark sunglasses that make him look "like a rockstar" or so he was told (by Roger, no less). He was uncomfortable waiting here in lines for tickets, specially with the looks people was giving him. Watari was wrong. He told L that with the emotions and mind altering-inducing sustances flowing around, no one was going to pay attention to him. Well, tell him that now, with the weird looks people was giving him. Well, at least some of them. Some complimented him, saying that he had an "original style".

L put his thumb on his lips. He was currently working in the London Strangler case, about some nutjob who believed himself the reircarnation of Jack the Reaper, strangling prostitutes from the most unsavoury parts of town . He was sneaky and was very careful, leaving almost no evidence. He could be currently working on that, instead of being there, between all these noisy and sweaty people.

Mello came not long after that, with two enormous boxes of chocolates for him and for "Mr Smith". Normally Watari would buy this kind of stuff, but he decided that L need more bonding with his successors, so he was left to his own devices with the kid.

The concert was infernal, in L's opinion, but he enjoyed the bright lights. He had a thing for lights. 

On the other hand, Mello was having the time of his life, singing on a terrible off-key tune and dancing like the world was ending and that wasn't even happening yet (L was 67% sure of that)

"You should loosen up, Mr Smith!" .

"In fine, Mr. Manlyfella" said L, stressing Mello's own ridiculous alias. Mello rolled his eyes.

"You look like a little Monster"

Okay, L was accustomed to people looking at him like a freak, but saying it to his face was going too far even for him.

He turned to see the woman who said that to him, fully intending to gave her a piece of his mind. But she was smiling. And not in a mocking way. Just like she was genuinely amused .

"Lady Gaga fan, in a Madonna concert?" she laughed.

" I have no idea you are talking Miss"

"Sure" And she...winked at him?

"Love the eyeshadows, by the way. Makes you look like a Panda"

L had no idea what she was talking about. And that's was so offensive! A panda? He wasn't some cuddly panda! He was L! He was justice!

He couldn't wait until this  thing was over and he could get to his dark room in Wammy's, coddle with his laptop and a delicious plate of desserts, and...

"We need to go backstage" cried Mello. The kid looked drunk and drugged. L was sure that he wasn't, but he really couldn't assure anything about the chocolates' integrity. They may have contained brandy.

"That's not a good idea and you know it, Mello"  L whispered with a pointed look.

"Yeah, because Madonna is going to discover my secrets by just looking at me"

"Better not risk anything."

"Please? I promise to not say something that would compromise anything."

Well, better to humor the kid instead to risk a temper tantrum here. He was L. He could handle this.

After the autographs and the Press' questions were over, the woman was ready to go to her dressing room and have a nice, relaxing shower. She was about to press the lights on when...

"Madonna Louise Ciccone, I presume?" stated a deep voice in the darkness. She yelped and hurredly flipped the switch on.

The blonde singer, better known as Madonna, could only gawk at the weirdo invading her room and sitting on her private chair. Hell, he wasn't even sitting, he was crounching, eating her chocolates and looking at her with the blankest, creepiest look she had ever seen.

Another stalker.

"Security!" she screamed at the top of her lungs to the nano microphone in her jacket, specially designed to call her security.

"Don't bother. I already hacked your system,so they are not gonna listen to you. You can only run to scream but that would take too much time"

Who the hell was this guy?

"I'm warning you, I'm trained in Boxing" she growled trying to intimidate him.

"I myself favor Capoeira. So don't try to attack me. I'm a feminist, you know. I don't have problems hitting women."

She didn't doubt that, not even for a second.

Feeling cornered, she asked him "What do you want from me?" He looked at her in boredom.

"Me? Nothing. I was dragged here by my...foster.. brother. He wants to meet you in person. He is a big fan of your loud, obnoxious music."

She didn't even get mad at his rude opinion of her music, due to sheer relief. So he was only accompanying his brother, who was a fan, and he was not a stalker after all? Thank god.

"You should have just told me that from the very beginning you know. Not need to barge my dressing room without my consent."

"Yeah, I should have." he agreed dispassionately.

As on cue, Mello came in and declared his undying admiration for the diva. L nearly rolled his eyes. She had sell 300 millons of copies? So? He had solved 2500 cases in just 12 years and singlehandlely stopped WWIII. That's was far more interesting that dancing and crucifying yourself in public.

Both the diva and Mello seemed so in tune with each other. After a long conversation, they decided to take a picture of themselves together. L didn't move from his spot in the corner, like a child punished by his mother, sitting in the naughty corner for the bad kids.

"Your brother doesn't want to be in the photo?" she asked Mello, who only looked at him with half pleading, half demanding eyes.

L denied with his head.

"Come on, it just a photo. Oh, are you shy? she teased, apparently forgetting she was about to pummel him with her fists just 25 minutes before.

L mentally calculated the risks. The cameras and system were hacked by L, they were alone, and the room was soundproof. As long as that photo remained as the only copy existent and stayed in Mello's hands, he supposed it was fine.

Okay. he said awkwardly. The diva inmediately thrown her arms on both his and Mello's shoulders, while holding Mello's cellphone in her left hand for the selfie.

Say Cheeeseee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


A loud scream of  YAHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! resonated through Wammy's House.

L lifted his gaze from the paperwork of his current case at the sound of Mello's screams. Watari was smiling.

"What's going on?" he asked slighty miffed at being interrupted. He was busy working and testing how many gummy bears he could fit on his mouth without choking himself to death.

"Look at the screen" Watari exclaimed, pointing to the screen that keep 24/7 vigilancy in Wammy's House.

That's what exactly what L did.

Jump by Madonna (Chorus)
Are you ready to jump
Get ready to jump
Don't ever look back oh baby
Yes, I'm ready to jump
Just take my hand
get ready to jump

He couldn't see anything inusual. Just a ridiculously excited Mello, singing and dancing, at the rhythm of a video of the same blonde singer, who was wearing tight black clothes, a hairdo who looked strangely familiar, and ... wait

"She is dressed as Mello? L asked slighty surprised.

"Yes. You didn't listen to their conversation did you? According to Matt and Roger, he made such an impression on her, that he promised him that she was going to give him a homage of sorts in her next video! And she did it!"

L looked bored as usual. But deep down he was pleased. Mello usually wasn't so excited. Between his and Near's competition to be his heir, he had thrown himself to his training. And even if he never admitted, he could tell that Mello had a huge inferiority complex problem, specially towards Near. Seeing him so happy was good.

L even decided to get "Jump" as his ringtone on his private phone for when Mello called.

Mello woke up with a gasp.

He wasn't fond of reminiscing in the past. But tell that to his subconciousness. He slowly rose from his bed and marched towards his secret stash

There it was. The photo between L, Mello, and Madonna.  Mello looked adorable and flushed, while L was looking at the screen in a blank expression, like a lost dog, and a thumb placed on his mouth.

This was the only photo Mello had of L and him together. After BB ran away, L decided to speak to Wammy's kids just via online, fearing that too much contact with them could only put them in danger.

BB had always argued that L didn't care about his succesors, how he and Watari had used the orphans to made proto "L's" who never came close to being the real deal. How they, L included, were little more than tykebombs. And during a long time, Mello agreed.

But this was proof that L truly cared.

Mello lied about only meeting L once. He met him twice. When he showed to him officially, he punched him at the face, angry at being lied to. L punched him back, and told him that he lied about his real identity for security reasons.

After Mello calmed down, L told him why he never made contact with them directly. He told about BB, about Eraldo Coil and Deneuve,and about the most important day on his life: the day that Watari found him.

Mello told him about his childhood, his mother, about the small town where he lived the first five years of his life. 

Together they even reminisced the concert, much to L's chagrin. Mello still got pathetically excited at the memory.

He gently placed the photo back in his stash, looking to the pile of papers than that Lidner chick  from SPK left him. Looking from the papers to the photo, his resolve only got stronger.

Mello was going to get justice for L.

Even if that cost Mello his own life.

But for now, he decided to just get back to sleep, waiting for pleasants memories of detectives and divas to lull his dreams.