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if i say jump

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The door to their room is barely closed behind them before Sunggyu feels his control snap. And then his hips are pinning Myungsoo back against the wall and Myungsoo’s face is cradled in his hands, and Sunggyu hadn’t given him any warning, but Myungsoo is already lifting his face for a kiss. Sunggyu doesn’t keep him waiting—he’s been waiting all day himself, and he was pretty sure if he’d had to wait one minute longer, he would have said to hell with it and pulled Myungsoo to him in the van or the elevator, right in front of the other members and the managers. Not that he’d ever do that—he wouldn’t jeopardize Infinite, not even for the warmth of Myungsoo’s skin under his hands or the little helpless sounds Myungsoo makes into a kiss. But fuck: it’s been a long, long day. A long day in a string of long days reaching back to the first day he set foot in Seoul.

Myungsoo’s lips are all warmth and eagerness, his mouth hot and his tongue expectant, and Sunggyu is pretty sure no one in the world enjoys kissing as much as Myungsoo. Which shouldn’t be a surprise, considering how much he enjoys affection of any other kind, but it still makes Sunggyu’s lips curl with amusement against Myungsoo’s, his thumbs caressing Myungsoo’s cheekbones with a fondness Sunggyu doesn’t even try to hide anymore. He used to try to deny to himself just how much he enjoys this, but the lies he told himself were pathetic even at the beginning and they’ve long since faded away now.

Here’s the truth: he likes the taste of Myungsoo’s mouth, the eagerness of Myungsoo’s lips. Likes the scent of Myungsoo and the way Myungsoo’s hands curl into his shirt, clinging but not demanding. Likes the way that Myungsoo lets himself be pushed and manhandled when he’s taller and—probably—stronger than Sunggyu and could break free whenever he wants. Likes the little breathy, “Hyung?” Myungsoo lets out when the kiss breaks and the beauty of Myungsoo’s eyes looking up at him. The adoration there sometimes makes Sunggyu dizzy, but he even likes the dizziness.

“Is that what you were waiting for, Myungsoo?” Sunggyu asks, voice throatier than usual, and that would make him self-conscious except that Sungjong is sprawled out on Howon’s bed in the other room, head bent near Howon’s as they talk, and Sunggyu and Myungsoo are alone. There’s no possible way to feel self-conscious in front of Myungsoo.

“Yes, hyung,” Myungsoo says, and Sunggyu has to kiss him again, feeling the soothing warmth of pure affection and the insistent burn of something darker curl through his body. Myungsoo’s little panted breaths against Sunggyu’s lips when they pull back light sparks along Sunggyu’s shoulders and spine.

“Did you think I was going to kiss you earlier?” Sunggyu can’t keep the humor out of his voice, but he’s pretty sure Myungsoo knows him well enough not to be stung by it. He can’t resist asking, anyway: when Sunggyu had taken his hand during the filming, Myungsoo had followed willingly as he always does, never questioning, and he hadn’t pulled back when Sunggyu took his face in his hands and brought it close to his own. But then when Sunggyu had moved still nearer—just to brush his nose against Myungsoo’s, nothing more—Myungsoo’s lips had parted and his eyes had shone just like they always do when he knows Sunggyu is about to give him a kiss, and well—it’s a good thing Sunggyu’s self-control is constructed out of iron.

Myungsoo’s lips twist a bit sheepishly, but he doesn’t look embarrassed. “I didn’t really think you would.”

Sunggyu hears what Myungsoo doesn’t say, and his own mouth keeps pulling into a smile. “But you wanted me to?”

“Yes, hyung,” Myungsoo answers, and Sunggyu doesn’t think it’s just his imagination telling him that Myungsoo’s eyes are saying, I always want you to.

Sunggyu hums in answer, taking a step back, not far enough to be out of range of Myungsoo’s scent, but far enough that Myungsoo is no longer pinned to the wall. He takes Myungsoo’s hand (bigger, rougher than Sunggyu’s, more masculine maybe, but Myungsoo likes to tell him that Hyung has the most beautiful hands in the world, and Sunggyu can’t say that he minds hearing it) in his and leads them over to his bed, Myungsoo following willingly just as he always does.

“Would you like it if I kissed you on camera? In front of the staff and the writers and everyone who watches the show?” Sunggyu asks as he shucks off his shirt. It’s a ridiculous question; if he kissed Myungsoo without it being written into the script and played for laughs, their careers would be over, and the footage would never be aired.

Myungsoo hasn’t made a move towards his own clothes, waiting for a word or gesture from Sunggyu, and Sunggyu decides he deserves to give himself a reward, so he grabs the hem of Myungsoo’s shirt himself, pulling it up slowly to reveal lightly-defined abs and skin several shades darker than his own. Myungsoo’s eyes burn into his, their intensity broken only when the fabric of the shirt obscures them for a moment. “Yes, hyung,” he says, voice even lower than usual, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat, and Sunggyu feels a bit lightheaded at how intoxicating it is, Myungsoo’s particular blend of innocent boyishness and undeniable masculinity. He usually only shows one or the other at a given moment, and each one is appealing enough on its own, but in those moments, mostly when he’s alone with Sunggyu, that he embodies both, well—he’s completely irresistible.

“You’d let me kiss you in front of the whole world?” Sunggyu asks, pulling off his own pants and nodding for Myungsoo to do the same. Next minute, they’re in their underwear on the bed, Sunggyu hovering over Myungsoo so he can see the confirmation he knows is coming on Myungsoo’s lips.

“Yes, hyung,” Myungsoo breathes, and Sunggyu wonders if it’s really true. Of course Sunggyu would never in any lifetime dream of kissing Myungsoo in public, and Myungsoo knows that. But Sunggyu also knows that Myungsoo is completely unashamed of what they do together, and more than that, he likes to show his affection anywhere and everywhere, even if it’s only the dialed-down kind of fanservice-approved backhugs and shoulder-sniffing. Maybe Myungsoo would like other kinds of public displays of affection, maybe he’d let Sunggyu kiss him and touch him and do whatever he wants with him in front of anyone. Maybe he’d get off on it. The thought alone makes Sunggyu half hard.

Of course he wouldn’t. Myungsoo is polite and respectful and always wants to make his mom proud, and his loyalty to Infinite’s well-being is absolute and unquestioned. But Sunggyu is pretty sure there’s a part of Myungsoo that would want to let Sunggyu do whatever he wants to him in public, and that’s good enough for Sunggyu.

Sunggyu can see in his peripheral vision that Myungsoo’s fingers are twitching, wanting desperately to touch, but Myungsoo always, always waits till he’s given permission.

“You can touch,” Sunggyu says, and then Myungsoo’s arms are looping around his neck, his hands sliding over Sunggyu’s shoulders and back, and, fuck, it’s been a long time since they’ve gotten to do this. He rolls over onto his back and lets Myungsoo follow, hands and mouth eager to explore Sunggyu’s body like they haven’t followed the same paths dozens of times before.

Sunggyu lets out a long sigh, fingers burrowing through Myungsoo’s thick hair; it’s straightened, of course, but underneath the perfectly-smoothed top layer, Sunggyu thinks he can feel some of the kinkier natural texture. “I wanted to,” he says, beginning to pant a bit as Myungsoo’s hand smoothes over the soft skin of his belly and Myungsoo’s mouth licks its way down from his collarbones. Myungsoo makes a curious noise against Sunggyu’s nipple, the vibration of it making Sunggyu’s back arch. “To kiss you then,” Sunggyu clarifies. “I really, really wanted to.”

It had been so hard not to. To have Myungsoo’s lips parted and willing just millimeters from his own, Myungsoo’s body relaxed and waiting like it is when he’s waiting for instructions from Sunggyu when they’re alone somewhere—it had been so tempting. Which was why it was a stupid thing to do in the first place, to pull Myungsoo down onto his knees in front of him, to rub his nose against Myungsoo’s. There was no reason in the world to do it, other than that he wanted to. Myungsoo looked so unfairly good in that suit and Sunggyu hadn’t gotten to reward him for yesterday yet, and so he’d given in to the urge to be near to Myungsoo for just a moment, to feel Myungsoo’s face in his hands and see his eyes bright and waiting.

Thankfully, the writer-noonas and the PD had been delighted at the bit of fanservice and the other members had played it off as just for the show, over-the-top surprised or disgusted reactions. All except for Sungyeol, who had grabbed Sunggyu by the arm the next time the time the PD called cut, and whispered, voice fierce, “That was stupid, hyung. Don’t play with him like that again.”

Sunggyu really hadn’t thought of it as playing with Myungsoo—more playing with fire, flirting with the tantalizing thought of seeing just what Myungsoo would allow him to do while cameras were rolling and there were strange eyes around, to see what it would feel like for everyone to know that Myungsoo belongs to him. But Sungyeol had been right, and Sunggyu had heard the layers of warning in his words as clearly as if Sungyeol had voiced them all: Don’t offer him something he can’t have. Don’t use him to get off in front of other people. And for fuck’s sake, don’t show more than you should and give yourself away. Sungyeol hasn’t liked Sunggyu’s relationship with his best friend from the beginning, though not out of any jealousy: at first he had scowled and made it clear that he expected Sunggyu to break Myungsoo’s heart at any time. Once he stopped worrying about that, Sungyeol was more concerned about them giving themselves away in public. “I don’t give a fuck if you destroy yourself,” Sungyeol had said, which of course wasn’t true: if Sunggyu destroyed himself, it would destroy Infinite, and as much as Sungyeol sometimes seems like he doesn’t care a thing about the group, Sunggyu knows deep down that Sungyeol loves it as much as any of them do. “But if you take him with you, I will end you.” Sungyeol is surprisingly frightening when he’s truly angry, and Sunggyu had been reminded of just why Howon’s always been half-scared of him.

Sunggyu’s pride had made him ask, “What if he’s the one who gives us away?” and Sungyeol’s dirty look made it clear that was a stupid question. “He’ll follow your lead, wherever it goes,” Sungyeol had said. “That’s his nature when it comes to someone he cares about and trusts, as long as he doesn’t think you’re asking him to do something morally wrong. You’re the one who needs to be careful.”

Sunggyu couldn’t take that sort of thing lying down, not from Sungyeol of all people, and the discussion had turned into a spat, but Sunggyu had known even as he was lobbing passive-aggressive insults that Sungyeol was right. Sunggyu would have thought, before this all began, that Myungsoo would be the one to get carried away and do something inappropriate in public. But he knows now that Myungsoo doesn’t even let himself get carried away when they’re alone, not if he doesn’t have permission to do so. Myungsoo waits for approval from Sunggyu for every touch, every kiss. He never initiates, no matter how much he wants it. Watching him hold himself back, hands flexing and eyes burning, every line in his body giving away how much he wants but never, ever making a move until Sunggyu tells him he can: Sunggyu had never realized just how absolutely hot that could be.

He’ll follow your lead, wherever it goes echoes often in Sunggyu’s mind, and the thought of it alone is enough to drive him insane. Enough to drive him to do what he did today. I have to be more careful.

Sunggyu will deal with his own self-control later, redraw the lines he won’t cross, remind himself of his responsibilities to Infinite and the company, remind himself of the precariousness of where they are now and how fucking much he’s sacrificed to get here—later. He isn’t going to make Myungsoo deal with all that, even if Myungsoo doesn’t know he’s dealing with that. It’s his to deal with, not Myungsoo’s. Sunggyu won’t let something like that into bed with them.

“I really wanted to kiss you,” Sunggyu repeats again, and this time Myungsoo raises his head, lips darker pink than usual but a smile spreading them.

“You did, hyung?”

Sunggyu snorts a little, scratching the nails of one hand against Myungsoo’s scalp—Myungsoo arches into the touch like a cat getting its neck scratched—and drawing the fingers of the other over the bump of his Adam’s apple.

“You look good in a suit, Myungsoo-yah,” Sunggyu says, and it’s an understatement in the extreme. But he doesn’t usually praise Myungsoo’s appearance because Myungsoo gets quite enough of that from everyone else in the world and one more compliment on his handsomeness doesn’t make him beam the way being told that he did a good job or worked hard does. It’s one of the first things Sunggyu appreciated about Myungsoo, the way he wanted to earn any praise he got. It’s one of the things Sunggyu most appreciates about him now, even if Myungsoo is now earning that praise in very different ways than he used to.

But maybe because Sunggyu doesn’t often talk about his looks, when he does, Myungsoo seems to like it more than he does when anyone else says similar things. Like now: he flushes a bit, looking pleased. “So do you, hyung.”

Sunggyu almost wants to snort at that, at how ridiculous it is for Myungsoo and his universally-praised handsomeness to be saying that he looks good in a suit, but he’d never reject any sweet words Myungsoo wants to offer. And yeah, there are times when Sunggyu looks in the mirror and his approval of his own appearance skirts dangerously close to arrogance (okay, sometimes it barrels right over the line, too), but there are still other times when he doesn’t have a clue in hell how he ended up in an idol group, especially when he’s looking at the maknae line’s makeup free faces or the angle of Howon’s jawline or Woohyun’s hard-won muscles. Still, he does usually like the results when he puts on a suit, and knowing that Myungsoo appreciates the sight too…

“And I hadn’t rewarded you for yesterday yet,” Sunggyu adds. Myungsoo tilts his head in confusion. “For voting for me to be leader,” Sunggyu explains, finding it endearing that Myungsoo has to be told.

“But, hyung, that was all in the script,” Myungsoo protests. “That all but one would vote for Sungyeol. The writer-noonas figure out all that stuff ahead of time.”

“I know,” Sunggyu says, hands sliding over Myungsoo’s shoulders. He has good shoulders, Myungsoo. He has good everything. “But you were the one who volunteered to vote for me.”

It is all figured by the writer-noonas ahead of time. Sunggyu grew up watching different variety shows and thought he knew how they worked, but one of the most surprising things about becoming an idol was being in them himself and realizing the extent to which every single detail of the show was choreographed by the writers. Sure, the best shows leave just enough room for the idols or MCs or guests or whoever to squeeze in a bit of their own personality. But all the drama is manufactured. Including the results of who votes for who type things and even kaui-baui-bo.

But when the writer-noonas had given them the script and told them that only one person would be voting for Sunggyu, Myungsoo had volunteered immediately. He hadn’t even looked over at Sunggyu like he was trying to be flattering, just volunteered like it was of course what he himself wanted to do. Sunggyu had gone warm all over.

Myungsoo flushes now, his hands loosely grasping Sunggyu’s waist. “Writer-noona said of course it makes sense since Yeol and I are best friends who fight a lot.”

Sunggyu brushes his fingers over Myungsoo’s lips. “Is that why you did it, Myungsoo?”

Myungsoo shivers almost imperceptibly; he’s told Sunggyu before that he likes the way Sunggyu says his name when they’re alone. “No, hyung.”

“I’m always going to be your leader, Myungsoo?”

Another little squirm, and Myungsoo drops his head, resting his cheek against Sunggyu’s belly. “Yes, hyung.”

“You’ve always been my good boy, Myungsoo,” Sunggyu says, and he can feel the heat flooding Myungsoo’s cheeks in the moment before he puts his hand on Myungsoo’s head and pushes him down.

Myungsoo understands, hands trembling with eagerness as they strip off Sunggyu’s underwear. The trembling isn’t only from eagerness, though, Sunggyu knows; it’s mostly from Sunggyu’s words, from being praised like that. Myungsoo hungers for affection the way Sunggyu does for release through music, and Sunggyu has discovered that he more than enjoys giving it to him.

That’s how it started, back right after they debuted: after a long day (or night) of practice during which Myungsoo sweated oceans and didn’t complain once even though Sunggyu often had to correct him far more harshly than he’d have wished, Sunggyu would sling an arm around Myungsoo’s shoulders and tell him that he’d done a good job, ruffle his hair and tell him that he was the only one who listened to his leader. The smiles Myungsoo would give him in return, all quirked lips and shining eyes, even when he was clearly so exhausted he was about to drop, made Sunggyu’s heart tighten even then. It had been easy to write that off to stress and affection mingling in unexpected ways, especially as Sunggyu discovered anew each day that everything about idol life was unexpected mingling of things you never would have thought would go together.

But somewhere along the line, Sunggyu started rewarding him with long hugs, ones he told himself were for Myungsoo’s benefit even though in truth he enjoyed them just as much as Myungsoo did. He liked how hard Myungsoo held on, how his arms clung and his eyes dropped shut, liked to smooth his hand over Myungsoo’s hair and breath in his scent. It was comforting, Sunggyu told himself, a little escape from stress. And he only did it because Myungsoo needed it.

And then there was the day when he whispered, “You’re a good boy,” against Myungsoo’s ear as they hugged, and Myungsoo had shuddered and let out a barely audible whimper, and Sunggyu’s world flipped over. Panting as he jerked himself off in the bathroom as soon as he escaped, Sunggyu had had to admit to himself for the first time how much he enjoyed Myungsoo’s body against his, how he could bask in Myungsoo’s adoring gaze forever, how having Myungsoo look at him like that and say, “Yes, hyung”—about anything, no matter how innocuous—made him feel...things he definitely shouldn’t be feeling.

And that made him feel dirty. Mostly because Myungsoo is a guy, and even though Sunggyu’s been in the industry long enough not to mind when he finds out about other people’s...preferences, it was entirely different when it was his own preferences he was discovering. Or not preferences; Sunggyu is still attracted to women, still wants to get married one day, still doesn’t look at other men the way he does at women. But then there’s Myungsoo, and he’s something else altogether and yet undeniably male, and Sunggyu hadn’t known how to deal with that.

And so he simply hadn’t dealt with it, refusing to think about it anymore and making sure not to touch or praise Myungsoo unless it was absolutely necessary. It wasn’t long before Myungsoo noticed that was something was going on, and then followed several weeks of Myungsoo giving him sad puppy eyes when Sunggyu pulled away from him and Sungyeol watching him with a scowl. Sunggyu had collapsed under the weight of all of it one day when Myungsoo had sidled up to him in their room while Sungjong was out with his friends. “Hyung? Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?”

And fuck it, Sunggyu couldn’t help himself. Knowing that Myungsoo thought it was his own fault—Sunggyu couldn’t let that stand. “You never do anything wrong, Myungsoo,” Sunggyu said with a weary sigh. It wasn’t entirely true; Myungsoo does sometimes get into trouble, especially when he and Sungyeol are fighting. But compared to all the rest of the members, any wrongdoings on Myungsoo’s part are so small as to be microscopic. He’s always given Sunggyu the least amount of problems. And the few problems he does give...those somehow don’t seem to matter so much when Sunggyu looks at Myungsoo’s adorable face.

“But hyung—” Myungsoo started, and then stopped, the hesitant lines of his body finishing the question for him: then why are you being like this?

Sunggyu didn’t let himself think about it, just reached out and pulled Myungsoo against him in a hug. Myungsoo is taller, so it shouldn’t be so easy for Sunggyu to pull him around, but Myungsoo never resists him. And he didn’t then, either, stumbling against Sunggyu and letting him fold his arms around him.

And then—and then Sunggyu couldn’t resist. He’d been trying to convince himself for weeks that he wasn’t obsessing over Myungsoo, wasn’t thinking of him when he jerked off in the bathroom, wasn’t wondering if he’d be so docile and obedient—and yet strangely intense, because he’s Myungsoo—in other activities. He’d been trying to convince himself, but he clearly hadn’t done a good job, because the moment Myungsoo was against him again, heat washed through him and he hazily realized there was no way he was going to walk away from Myungsoo before kissing him.

And so he had. And things just kept intensifying from there.

Maybe it’s the power high, Sunggyu thinks as Myungsoo presses kisses against his thighs. He grips the sheets underneath him as he feels Myungsoo’s warm breath brushing where he’s most sensitive. Maybe he got caught up in the adrenaline-fueled game of ‘how far will Myungsoo let me push him?’ But the fact is, Sunggyu has pushed him all the way, and Myungsoo hasn’t once showed the slightest sliver of hesitance, and now they’re here, and Myungsoo’s mouth is closing around Sunggyu’s dick, and it’s so impossibly warm and wet and good, he’s gotten so good at it now, after all the practice he’s had, and every single time, Myungsoo sucks him off eagerly as though there isn’t anything he’d rather do in the world.

“You’re my good boy,” Sunggyu murmurs again, and he feels Myungsoo’s shiver undulate into his own body and Sunggyu knows Myungsoo isn’t a very good actor—definitely not good enough to pretend to want this, to pretend to be yearning for it, if he doesn’t want it.

Sunggyu had been worried about that, at the beginning. That Myungsoo was only going along with what Sunggyu wanted, whether out of ingrained obedience to authority or a desire to please or fear of making Sunggyu angry or disappointed. He’d reminded himself that even though Myungsoo often seems naive, he is, after all, a grown man, with steel in his spine that Sunggyu has had cause enough to see, even if most people never notice it. Surely if he didn’t want… Sunggyu had thought. Surely he’d just say no.

But Sunggyu hadn’t been sure, no matter how eagerly Myungsoo reciprocated anything Sunggyu started or obeyed anything Sunggyu suggested. And so one night when they were in the bathroom, making out against the wall, Sunggyu had pulled back and whispered, “You want this, right, Myungsoo? If you don’t want it—I don’t want you to—I would hate myself if—I only want to if you—” He’d stumbled over the words in ways he usually doesn’t with the members now, but it was just so big, what he and Myungsoo were doing, and he had to be sure and—

—and Myungsoo had smiled, his wide, crinkly smile and said, “Yes, hyung. I want everything.” And after that Sunggyu hadn’t let himself worry anymore. He was in way over his head, and there was no use denying it.

And Myungsoo’s eagerness hasn’t flagged at all, even though they’ve been doing this for months, Myungsoo learning everything as they go, and—okay, yeah, he can admit it, Sunggyu learning a few things too. Sunggyu had wondered if eventually Myungsoo would have enough and get tired of this, and he’d been sure to make it clear that any time Myungsoo wanted to stop, Sunggyu wanted to stop, too.

But Myungsoo is as intense in his desire as he’s ever been, hands and mouth and cock still ready the moment Sunggyu says it’s time, the sounds he makes still as desperate, his eyes still as worshipful as they stare up the length of Sunggyu’s body as he sucks him off.

Sunggyu can’t help but run his fingers over Myungsoo’s face now, bumping over the ridges of his brows and sliding down the length of his perfect nose. He brushes his fingers against Myungsoo’s lips, too, stretched out and red and swollen, and wishes he could kiss Myungsoo’s cheeks while he does this.

Pleasure is shooting through Sunggyu’s veins, making his neck arch back, but he keeps his eyes slitted open so he can see Myungsoo’s face, see those shining eyes close briefly as if overwhelmed when Sunggyu rasps, “You’re so good at this, Myungsoo. You make me feel so good.” Myungsoo makes a little sound that manages to be both pleased and yearning at the same time, and one of Sunggyu’s hands slips into his hair, grasping it, but not too tight, just tight enough to let them both revel in the connection. Sunggyu would never hurt Myungsoo; Myungsoo just likes knowing Sunggyu is there. “Nobody could make me feel as good as my Myungsoo.”

Myungsoo whines, mouth still working at Sunggyu and his hands helping out too, and Sunggyu sees that he’s pushing his hips down against the bed. Sunggyu hasn’t even really touched him yet, hadn’t kissed him for that long, he still has his underwear on. Sunggyu will never get over how just a few words and being allowed to touch will get Myungsoo this turned on. Sometimes he thinks that Myungsoo would be perfectly happy just to suck him off every single day and never have Sunggyu give him anything in return but a few words of praise.

But of course Sunggyu would never do that. He enjoys making Myungsoo feel good, too, even if he can’t say that he enjoys it the way Myungsoo does. Sunggyu is too selfish to be like that, to only care about someone else’s pleasure. His own desires, his own need—for release, to forget all about idol life, to just be as close to Myungsoo as possible—always shove their way forward no matter how far back he tries to lock them away. But they at least leave room for him to want to take care of Myungsoo, too. Sunggyu is selfish, but he isn’t only selfish.

Sunggyu releases his hold on Myungsoo’s hair and slides his hand down to cup Myungsoo’s cheek. “Stop before it gets too good and I can’t hold it in anymore, okay?”

Myungsoo reluctantly lets Sunggyu’s cock pop out of his mouth, and Sunggyu’s body cringes at the sudden cold and loss of pleasure. He jerks his head over towards the nightstand, and Myungsoo unfolds himself awkwardly out of bed, sliding off his underwear before padding across the room. Sunggyu likes watching his ass—as beautiful as the rest of him—flex as he goes, likes watching his cock—and yeah, it’s beautiful, too—bob as he walks back, condoms and lube in hand. When he gets close, Sunggyu reaches out and runs his hand along the flawless skin of Myungsoo’s ass.

“C’mere,” Sunggyu says, and Myungsoo bends over for another kiss, his lips swollen now and tasting of Sunggyu. “How are you so good at that?” Sunggyu murmurs against Myungsoo’s lips. Even at the beginning, when he’d been sloppy and inexperienced, Myungsoo had still managed to make Sunggyu feel amazing. And he’s only gotten better.

“I like to make you feel good, hyung,” Myungsoo says with a little shrug, but his face is pleased, and, fuck, Sunggyu loves this kid. He isn’t sure if it’s a romantic kind of love, or just his intense but socially acceptable love for his dongsaengs slamming into his unexpected attraction to this dongsaeng in particular. One day, maybe, he’ll figure it out. One day when they’re alone like this, Myungsoo docile and sweet, only speaking to answer Sunggyu’s questions, letting Sunggyu treat him like he’s something young and fragile. Outside, Myungsoo is a sweet guy who can also be a strong man, awkward and hardworking, quick to laugh and also to zone out. A respectful dongsaeng, but a sometimes-rambunctious friend. A better photographer than he is idol, a better person than the industry really allows. But in here, when it’s just the two of them, he’s Sunggyu’s good boy. And impossibly, he’s all Sunggyu needs. All he needs to escape, to forget, to remember, to relax, to feel, to be who he is.

Sunggyu takes the lube and condoms from him and pulls him into bed, pressing his body up against Myungsoo’s warm skin.

“Let’s make each other feel good, okay?”

And Myungsoo’s mouth curves into that Anything to make you happy, hyung smile, his eyes shining with that I’ll follow your lead no matter where it goes light. “Okay, hyung.”