"Dude," Finn drunkenly slurred. "You have a dick and a pussy and an asshole. That's greedy."
Puck let his head roll back against the headboard. "It's not greedy, it's a gift from God so I can have as much sex as humanly possible. He wants me to get laid, I knew it."
Finn took another swallow from his beer. "How did it happen?"
Puck shrugged. His legs were still splayed open and he was absentmindedly fingering himself. "I don't know. Maybe Quinn did it when she was yelling at me while in labor about wanting me to know what it was like to be a girl."
Finn nodded. "Quinn can be mean, sometimes."
They both drank more beer.
"Fuck this," Puck said. "I'm horny, want to fuck?"
Finn tried to think but he was too drunk. "Okay."
Finn thanked the heavens for sweatpants and rushed to crowd Puck against the headboard with his body. He squinted as he grabbed his cock and tried to aim for Puck's hole. "Your dick's in the way, I can't see what I'm doing here, dude."
Puck sighed and squirmed to get his hand in between their bodies. He lifted his erection up to his stomach and tilted his hips up until he could feel the weight of Finn's cock resting against his pussy. "Do it," Puck said.
Finn pushed in and grunted. "You're way tighter than Santana."
Puck laughed. "I'd hope so. Girl's got game, but she needs to do some kegels if she doesn't want her shit to fall out before she hits thirty." He started to lightly stroke his cock as Finn stuttered into him.
"Oh god," Finn said. "Puck, this is awesome."
"Hurry up and start fucking me," Puck said. He shifted his hips as much as he could from where he was crammed against the bed. "I'm not made of glass here."
Finn took a deep breath to center himself and pulled out as much as he dared before sliding back in.
Puck grunted and moved his free hand to grip Finn's ass. "Yeah, do that," he said.
Finn worked hard to thrust into Puck how he wanted it. Puck was wet and slippery making Finn's cock slip out sometimes only for the two of them to scramble to stuff him back inside Puck's pussy. Finn kept one hand on the headboard and the other on the pillow next to Puck's head while he fucked letting Puck's hand on his ass guide him.
Everything changed when Puck shifted and wrapped his legs around Finn's waist, allowing Finn to enter him even deeper than before. "Shit, bro. My balls are starting to hurt. Hey, where are your balls? Where did they go?" Finn asked as he started to thrust even harder into Puck.
Puck shrugged. "Who cares? I've come like four times from my chick bits already and my dick is ready to blow." He was stripping himself hard, his knuckles knocking into Finn's stomach on the upstroke.
"I can't- I can't-" Finn tried to speak but gave up when he felt that familiar tension in his groin. With a moan, he pushed into Puck's pussy deep and started to come. His hips stuttered as he spurted semen deep into Puck's wet hole.
Puck gripped Finn's ass with his fingernails. "Fuck, Finn. I think you just made me a real woman."
Finn awkwardly shuffled backwards on his knees and pulled out. He leaned back and stared, entranced, at how his own semen glistened on Puck's cunt.
Puck was furiously jerking off now, grunting with frustration at his inability to come from his dick. Finn watched in a daze for a minute before leaning in and sticking two fingers into the sticky mess that was Puck's vagina.
"Yes, fuck!" Puck said as he shuddered through his climax, his semen spurting onto his stomach. Finn could feel Puck's body clamp tight onto his fingers. He tentatively spread them out and watched as Puck moaned and spurt more come.
The both of them still breathing hard, they stared down at the mess they had made.
"Thanks, man," Puck said. "I really needed that. Get me another beer?"