Levi honestly hated publicly parading through the crowds, more like wading at this point, the streets narrow enough as it is without people cluttering it with their gag-worthy personal hygiene and body odor. When they left they'd always send most of his men off to their deaths smiling and cheering like they were going to eradicate the Titans until not a single gender-less giant had a nape intact, but in his own mind he knew they were just happy they weren't in his subordinates places. And when they returned through those damn gates again, there would be no celebrating, no cheers of triumph. It was always the same. What hurt him the most was the loved ones of those who died, the complete denial of their deaths for most, and of others the silent lost glazed eyes reminding him too much of the dumb beasts that caused the tragedies in the first place. Like they didn't believe their brave and terrified sons and daughters who were slaughtered could have really suffered such a fate. The only solace he could give himself was that it was over quickly with most, true MIAs always haunted him though, if they were alive and well, and left behind he would always get the insistent urge to clean. To clean out the terrible guilt gnawing at his heart to such an extent even a Titan would stop chewing on after so long.
It punches him in the gut without warning. sunshine essence in fresh laundry, warm liquid bergomot and clean air. Levi resists the urge to scan the mob of civilians, gritting his teeth in hopes of it staying just a little longer. It's that scent again. So I really wasn't going crazy when we left for this tour. Levi narrows his eyes, examining the mane of his horse for dirt. I can't look, whoever they are, they don't deserve me and my fuckton of problems.
Levi takes a deep breath out, raising his head slowly as he looks straight ahead, right between his horse's ears at the soldier in front of him. Refusing to acknowledge the Alpha instincts in him to track the scent down and make it his.
He ignores the woman that asks where her mate is. Levi can't answer her, simply trotting on. Because the only Moses in his company was eaten, the only remains they could find was a severed arm which one of Moses' childhood friends gave to her in a few moments. Levi clutches his horse's reigns enough to make his pale grip corpse white. The young woman's anguished screams echo down the lane as he hears her crumble to the ground. The now one-sided bond completely gone and leaving the young thing little better of than her mate.
I could never let that happen. Bonds are weakness incarnate. And it would only hurt my mate in the end, I would be like Moses one day. I won't allow that future to come to pass.
>>>>>>>>>>> A few short hours later<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Levi couldn't believe the news spilling in, that a Titan over 50 meters tall existed, that it had peeked over the walls no Titan has ever gotten through like a child peering at a candy case, and had then unleashed hell on earth by kicking Wall Maria's gate clean through.
The scent he had longed for had been just inside that gate when he had paraded through. The reports of survivors from Shinganshina were nothing but depressing, no un-mated had gotten away, their unclaimed scents had drawn the Titans to them faster than flies to a cart full of shit. Couples and children were the only ones that survived, those were few and far between, even rarer was the odd unclaimed guards that flew away rather than becoming a liability to both the citizens and their battalion.
Levi stands from his desk and walks to his personal quarters. Having sent the reports for Hange to handle, the mad scientist Beta was one of the only two he had ever divulged his chance encounter with THE scent to. Hange would understand, she had lost her mate long ago but soul-bonds never healed. They would simply fester and ache. Some people got lucky, found an obsession to take the edge off of the pain. Hange's was studying Titans, the same creatures that stole her mate away from her all those years ago. He couldn't blame her for coping. Levi didn't understand why his heart felt so much worse than it had earlier today. He never bonded them, never met them, hell he didn't have the GUTS to even look up and glance among the crowd where his true mate had been, safe and alive and probably searching for HIM as much as he had been trying to avoid them. He did not sleep that night, nor will he for many years. Regret had taken his guilt's place. Funny, his heart seems to have been swallowed whole. Something he hopes his true-mate did not have to suffer through. Being digested alive...
Levi bolts to the bathroom and dry heaves for several minutes, throat course and raw from the horrid strain.
But still nothing compared to the agony of his soul as righteous fury pumped through his veins in icy rivers. I've lost my friends... my family... and now, my true-mate to those hulking sonova bitches.
"No. This isn't over. I'm gonna put a stop to this. I'll kill them all. EvErY. LaSt. ONE!"