Chapter Text
Wrapping up a case had always been the least favourite part of Laura Holt’s job, even less so since her partner Murphy Michaels had left to start his own agency in Denver. At least when he had been there, he could help her share the paper work, unlike Mr. Steele who seemed positively allergic to the concept.
It had been a fairly satisfactory end of a case that had somewhat surprised Laura, though looking back at it she realized she needn’t have been. The fact that things were not all sunshine and roses among the wealthy couples in Rancho Santa Luisa only served to reinforce what Laura had learned from a very young age – that most marriages lacked the foundation of trust necessary to maintain them.
That’s not to say that she was entirely cynical of relationships or the institution of marriage. Hell, the more time she spent with her partner – the man who she affectionately referred to as ‘Mr. Steele’ for want of a better tittle – the more she had begun to slowly begin to trust again. It wasn’t the fact that the couples she had been investigating were unfaithful that surprised Laura, it was the fact that it disappointed her so much to learn they were.
For some reason, since meeting Mr. Steele, she desperately wanted to see evidence that two people could, in fact, make it work. Unfortunately for her, her line of work rarely showed her the sunny side of anything, much less relationships and marriage.
She sighed as she put the finishing touches on the write up of the case in question. She was glad not to have to field anymore obscene phone calls for ‘flaming Emily’ and eager to line up new clients involved in less vulgar exploits.
She placed the folder containing the paper work for the case in the filing cabinet and left her office to pour herself a cup of tea and see what Mildred had scheduled for the day. Mr. Steele had taken the morning off, something he generally did the morning after a case to avoid the aforementioned paper work.
He would show up towards the end of the day (if at all), no doubt with some flimsy excuse for his absence and Laura would pretend to buy it. If Murphy were still here, he would chastise Laura for going soft. He was probably right, but for some reason, Laura no longer cared. She had long since realized that Steele was a grown man and there were certain things about him that were never going to change. She knew how to pick her battles and forcing him into paper work was not a hill she was prepared to die on, especially since things had been so good for them lately in their personal relationship.
“Morning Miss Holt,” Mildred said to her as Laura poured her coffee and grabbed a copy of the morning paper. “The boss called and said he will be late today.”
“What is it now, Mildred? Did he forget to return a video to the rental store?” Laura asked, amusement instead of annoyance in her tone. She had to admit that his excuses were becoming more and more inventive with each case.
“Had to walk his neighbour’s dog,” Mildred supplied, aware this was part of the game that Miss Holt and the boss would play but still rather fuzzy on the rules. “I see you two seemed to have wrapped up the Rancho Santa Luisa case.”
“Caught Tommy and Anne Montague yesterday as they were trying to escape in a helicopter,” Laura confirmed as she took a sip of her coffee. “It was a classic case of an affair gone wrong. You can read the details in the file folder if you want.”
“You and Mr. Steele lead such exciting lives sometimes,” Mildred said wistfully as she tidied up her desk.
“It seems that way, doesn’t it?” Laura said with a small sigh. “Days like this though, when it’s slow and there’s only paperwork to do it doesn’t feel so exciting.”
“Speaking of paperwork,” Mildred said, picking up a clip board with a piece of paper that had caught her attention out of the corner of her eye, “what’s this? Looks like the boss’ handwriting.”
Mildred paused as she read the title and raised a quizzical eyebrow. “‘The Sexual Exploits of An English Nobleman’?”
Laura recognized the clip board as the one Steele had been writing on in the limo on the way to the Love Library and gave a small chuckle.
“I imagine that’s one of the pages of ‘Lord Marchmane’s’ memoirs,” Laura told Mildred. “Mr. Steele assumed the identity to get a list of the advertisers from that porno publisher.”
“Did he actually come up with this himself?” Mildred’s voice was pitched much higher than normal as she read the contents of the clip board.
“Provocative, is it?” Laura asked, amused by the half horrified, half disgusted look on Mildred’s face. She hadn’t bothered to read what Steele had written, but the ease with which he had convinced Mr. Fershuva to give up his client’s information had her curiosity slightly peaked.
“It’s disgusting!” Mildred exclaimed. “Thoroughly and completely disgusting!”
“Come now, Mildred,” Laura said, her tone extremely reasonable, “I’m sure it’s not that bad. A little kinky maybe, but…”
“Kinky is one thing, Miss Holt,” Mildred said. She forcefully set the clip board down as if even so much as touching it was too much for her. “This is…depraved…I mean…can you even do that with a watermelon? Legally, I mean?”
Overcome by her own curiosity, Laura grabbed the clip board and allowed her eyes to skim its contents written in Mr. Steele’s unmistakable hand. Her own eyes grew wide with surprise, then shock, then complete revulsion as she read down to the bottom of the page. Mildred had been right. This was more than just a little kinky. No wonder Fershuva had given up the information so quickly.
“Oh….my…” she said as she sat the clip board back down. “I certainly didn’t expect that,” she admitted.
“Where do you think he came up with that stuff?” Mildred asked voicing a thought that had already managed to worm itself into Laura’s mind. “I know you two are still figuring things out, but has he ever expressed an interest in…”
“No!” Laura exclaimed, possibly much louder and more defensively than she needed to. “We haven’t…gotten to that point yet. And besides, I don’t even like watermelon.”
“Do you think maybe you ought to start?” Mildred wondered. “I mean if this is what the boss is into…”
“He’s not into this,” Laura replied, again on the defensive. “I’m sure I would have noticed if he had expressed an interest in…watermelon. This was simply a prop for the disguise Mr. Steele used to get information for a case. We are detectives, remember? And Mr. Steele is one of the best. Occasionally a case forces us to get a bit….creative.”
“Any more creative and you might end up on the evening news,” Mildred observed. “All I’m saying is that maybe you should have a conversation with him. Make sure the two of you are on the same page. All euphemisms, aside honey, sex is a big deal with someone you care about. If you aren’t physically compatible, it won’t matter how much you care for one another.”
“Voice of experience, Mildred?” Laura guessed. Mildred gave her a pained smile.
“One of the many reasons my marriage bit the dust,” she confirmed with a shrug. “I’m not saying I wanted my ex to like…watermelon, but it wouldn’t have hurt to see him spend some time in the produce aisle, if you get what I mean.”
“I get it,” Laura said holding a hand up to indicate that any further detail would be too much. “But I really don’t think this applies to us. This was all just for a case. Once we go on to the next one it will be long forgotten.”
“If you say so, Miss Holt,” Mildred said, sounding thoroughly unconvinced. “But mark my words, ideas like that don’t just come from nothing.”
“Duly noted,” Laura said wryly. “I’ll be in my office if anybody calls. Oh and make sure you toss out that…filth. Can’t have potential clients reading that.”