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Nobody's Hero

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John isn't surprised at the glares he's getting from Rodney all through the debriefing. He'd done the only thing that he could to ensure the safety of his team, but he knows that Rodney doesn't see it that way. Once they're alone, he's going to be in so much trouble, and strangely enough he's okay with that.

Colonel Carter excuses them, but calls John back at the last moment. Rodney leaves with a meaningful look his direction, one that Carter catches. "He's pretty pissed," she says with no preamble.

"Yeah, I know."

"You need to fix this," she says gesturing towards the open door.

"I will," he says, thinking to himself that Rodney won't give him a choice, and if Carter would just let him go he could be on his way to making up to Rodney right now.

She studies his face for a long moment, and then nods, as if to herself. "Fine. Go take care of it."

He doesn't hesitate, making good his escape from her office. He's already mentally lining up places to look for Rodney when he spots him sitting at one of the consoles. He isn't even pretending to work, looking right at John. When John nods, he stands so fast he nearly knocks over his chair. John has to suppress laughter, but the look on Rodney's face makes that easy.

"A word, Colonel?" Rodney says.

John nods, already knowing where this is headed. "Lead on," is all he says.

He follows Rodney into the transporter, completely unsurprised when Rodney presses the location for the personnel quarters. They go to Rodney's room, the door sliding shut at John's mental command.

As soon as the door is shut, Rodney's in his face. "You stupid flyboy. Just have to risk your life at the slightest possibility. What is this, a deathwish? Are you out to kill yourself?"

"Rodney - "

"No, don't try to soothe me. I want to know what the hell is going on in your head."

"I just - I need to know that you guys are safe."

"We'd be a hell of a lot safer if you'd stop trying to kill yourself every other week!" Rodney looks ready to rip his - or maybe John's - hair out.

"You guys are more important," John says, letting it slip out without thinking, even though he knows that it's going to make Rodney go ballistic, and he isn't wrong.

Rodney opens and closes his mouth a few times; as if he's heard something so stupid he can't argue it. Then, instead of words, he goes after John with his body, backing him into the door and bracketing him with his arms. "I have never heard something so stupid in all my life," he says.

"Rod - "

"No. Shut up. This is not a game where one piece is worth more than another. Period. You are not worth less than we are, and the sooner you get that through your skull, the better off we'll all be."

John wants to argue the point, but he knows from past experience that he and Rodney will never agree about this. It's hardly the first time they've had this argument, after all.

When he doesn't say anything, Rodney leans in closer, using his larger body mass to shove John more firmly against the door. "You make me crazy," he says, and then his hands are in John's hair, turning his head to the perfect angle for Rodney to plunder his mouth.

In between kisses, he's mumbling things about how important John is to the mission, to Atlantis, to Rodney himself, and John can't bear to hear it. His hands come up, wrapping around Rodney's ass and pulling him in flush against him. Hardness rubs against hardness, and John thinks to himself that he's going to be able to get off just like this.

Except that that would obviously be too easy, because Rodney breaks the kiss and pulls away. He sounds satisfyingly breathless when he says, "Take your clothes off."

John hurries to comply, stripping off rapidly, careless of places that are already darkening into deep bruises. He can tell the moment that Rodney spots them, because his mouth goes tight, and he wants to pull his shirt back on, hide them from view. But Rodney is already taking his t-shirt away, tossing it over the chair, and he decides not to argue, stripping out of his pants as well.

Being naked when Rodney is clothed is a bizarre feeling, made more bizarre when Rodney hauls him in to kiss him. Logically, he knows he's taller than Rodney, even if he is thinner, but there's something about his clothed bulk that makes him feel... safe.

He lets Rodney have control of the kiss, moaning softly into his mouth as Rodney's tongue slips in to tease his own. He's vaguely aware that Rodney is backing him towards the bed, and he goes willingly. When the bed hits him in the back of the knees, he stops, only to have Rodney push on his shoulders, so that he sits.

Rodney's hands are busy at his fly, opening it and pulling out his cock. It's flushed and hard, the head shiny and wet. His mouth waters at the scent that rises up, and he leans forward, hands finding their way naturally to Rodney's hips. As he licks over the tip of it, Rodney groans. "Yeah," he says. "Suck it."

John does the best he can to obey, but it's an awkward angle, bent over at the waist to bring his head low enough. Without thinking, he slips off the bed to his knees, looking up when Rodney gasps. Only then does he think about what he must look like, naked and on his knees.

He can't say that it bothers him, because it doesn't. He and Rodney don't play those kinds of games, but that doesn't mean he's never played them. They can be fun in the right mood.

Closing his eyes, he lips at the side of Rodney's dick, working his way up to the head. When he gets there, he opens his mouth and takes him as deep as he can. Rodney gasps again, and his hands move to John's hair, growing tight and bringing pinpricks of tears to his eyes.

He doesn't struggle, doesn't try to get away. Instead, he bobs his head, sucking strongly, wanting to taste Rodney when he comes. "No, John," Rodney mutters, pushing on his head, pushing him away. "You're not getting off that easy."

And maybe John hadn't really thought about it in those terms, but he can see how Rodney got there. "Not trying to make you less upset. Just want to make you feel good," John says, trying to get back to Rodney's dick, but Rodney twists so that he can't reach it.

"Back up on the bed," he says, and denied Rodney's cock, John obeys, scooting to the middle. "Turn over," and now John is reluctant, because he likes being able to see Rodney's face. But his expression tells John that Rodney isn't going to budge until he gets what he wants, so he turns over, burning hot face buried in the blanket and ass high in the air.

He hears Rodney shedding his clothing and then the bed dips and sways under Rodney's weight as he climbs up. John can feel the heat radiating off him as he kneels next to John's leg. He hears the nightstand drawer open, and a click, and then Rodney's wet fingers are running up and down his crack. He moans and pushes his ass back into Rodney's hand, making him chuckle.

He knows that he should be embarrassed by how badly he wants it, but he's not. Instead, he's completely focussed on getting Rodney to fuck him already. As Rodney's fingers slide over his entrance again, he moans. "C'mon, Rodney. Don't tease."

"Maybe that's what I want," Rodney says softly. "Aren't I more important than you?"

And that's a low fucking blow. John clenches his hands into fists and tries to think of an answer, any answer. If he says yes, then Rodney is going to tease the living shit out of him if he's lucky. If he's not, Rodney will just get upset and leave. If he says no, on the other hand, then Rodney will have proven his point. As if Rodney knows the thoughts going through John's head, Rodney's clever fingers pause right over his hole.

He tries shoving back, hoping to take Rodney unawares, but he just moves with John, and says, "I'm waiting for an answer."

"I do what I have to do, Rodney," he grates out. "You know that."

"You don't have to sacrifice yourself for us, John." Rodney's voice is soft, insistent. "That isn't what we want from you. All we want is - " He cuts himself off, and before John can ask him what he wants, Rodney slides his finger in deep and crooks it against that spot that makes John see stars.

His hands clench in the blankets and his hips jerk as he tries to get closer to Rodney, wanting more. But he also wants to know what Rodney's thinking, so he dares a glance back over his shoulder at him. Rodney is biting his lip, eyes soft as he meets John's gaze levelly. John doesn't have any words for what he sees in Rodney's eyes, so he closes his own.

Rodney snorts softly. "One of these days we'll get through to you," he says. John shrugs the best he can, and Rodney sighs.

His hips are moving in time to the finger sliding in and out of his hole, and when it slides all the way out he whimpers. There's the sound of more lube being applied, and then Rodney comes back with two fingers, entering John so very slowly that he has to bite his lip to keep from begging.

This time Rodney ignores his prostate. He's very clearly playing, sometimes sliding his fingers in as deep as they'll go and other times keeping just the tips inside John, and it's driving John absolutely crazy. He can't predict what Rodney's going to do next, and no matter how he moves, he can't make Rodney hurry up.

When Rodney pulls his fingers out, he comes up on his arms in frustration. "I need you," he says, though his throat feels like it's trying to choke away the words.

"I know," and thank christ, there's the sound of a rubber being torn open and the smell of latex is strong in the air. He can feel Rodney's arm move as he unrolls the condom down his dick, and then his whole body is shifting, so that he's kneeling behind John.

The slow press of Rodney's cock into him burns as it stretches, and John has to pant. He loves this part, though he won't say as much to Rodney, because he doesn't want Rodney thinking he's any more warped than he already does. He does push back, though, taking Rodney just a little faster, a little harder.

When Rodney's balls come up against his ass, he groans deeply, a sound that is echoed by John at the sensation of being so full. Rodney pauses, obviously letting John adjust, then reaches down and pulls John up so that he's pretty much kneeling in Rodney's lap. It pushes Rodney even deeper, and John has to clutch as his thighs to keep from coming right then and there.

Rodney's hips start to rock, slowly, and it only takes a moment for John to find and match their rhythm, riding slow and sweet. Rodney buries his face in John's neck, kissing and licking, and John tips his head over, giving Rodney better access as they both continue to move.

It's slow and deep and it gives John a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. He's more used to sex with Rodney being fast and furious, and this is nothing like that. It's almost... gentle.

He tries to speed up a little, only to have Rodney grab his hips and slow him back down while his mouth is busy with John's neck. He tightens his grip on his thighs to keep from grabbing his dick, because he knows that if Rodney won't let him go any faster, he sure as hell isn't going to let John jerk himself off.

One of Rodney's hands shifts from his stomach to his chest, fondling one of John's nipples, making him moan. "Please, Rodney," he begs, no longer caring about dignity as long as he gets to come.

"You're going to come like this," Rodney says, other hand dropping low to roll John's balls in their tight sac. "Nice and slow and deep." He nips at John's neck, and the sudden flare of almost pain makes John gasp.

"I can't." John's never been able to come without some stimulation to his dick, and Rodney knows that. "I need - "

"I know what you need," Rodney says. "And I'm giving it to you my way or not at all." He punctuates the statement with a hard thrust that just nails John's prostate perfectly, and he can't stop the needy sound that breaks loose from his throat.

Rodney's hand tightens on his balls, and his hips start to move just the tiniest bit faster. The head of John's cock is brushing against the inside of Rodney's arm on every stroke, and it's just enough to make John sob in need, but not enough to actually make him come.

Then Rodney lets out a low, breathy moan, and his hips start to jerk wildly. Before John can react, Rodney bites down, hard, on the side of John's neck, and pain tips him over into an orgasm that he wasn't expecting.

He cries out as he's overwhelmed in pleasure so far over the line it's almost pain. Rodney's voice echoes his, and when he finally comes to a shuddering halt, he realizes that Rodney has come as well.

When Rodney pushes him forward, he goes willingly enough, happy to relax onto the bed as Rodney slowly and carefully pulls out. He listens as Rodney pads to the bathroom to get rid of the condom. There are soft sounds of running water, and then Rodney returns with a washcloth that he uses to gently clean John up. John waits until Rodney has tossed the cloth back towards the bathroom before flipping over and reaching up for Rodney.

Not that he'd admit to needing cuddling or anything, but today was rough, and he thinks he's earned a bit of a reward for not dying. Rodney lies down next to him, and wraps his arms around him, and that's so exactly what John needs. Now, if he can keep Rodney from -

"I'd miss you, you know. If you died."

Too late. John sighs. "I'm not trying to die," he says. "I don't have a deathwish. I just..."

"You just what, John?"

John closes his eyes. "I don't think I could bear it if something happened to you and I could have prevented it."

Rodney's arms tighten momentarily, and then he kisses John's temple roughly. "I feel the same way."

There's nothing that John can say to that, so he doesn't. He just lets himself relax into Rodney's embrace.