//11 Months Later; December 17//
"Niall? Where are you going?" Harry asks as he enters their room and stops when he sees the blonde packing his clothes. "Are you leaving for work?"
"I'm leaving, but I'm not coming back," Niall replies in a hoarse voice, not even bothering to look over at Harry who swallowed the lump in his throat.
"W-Why? Niall, I know we've been having problems but is this necessary? W-We've been trying to work things out, I know we can do go back to how we were!" Harry asked as he crossed the room and grabbed Niall's wrist, preventing him from shoving more things into his suitcase. "Niall, babe-"
"Don't call me that!" Niall screamed angrily as he glared up at Harry with red watery eyes and Harry's eyes widened at Niall's outburst. He'd never seen Niall this angry and honestly? It was a bit frightening.
"Niall, what's wrong?"
"What's wrong?" Niall chuckled bitterly, a tear rolling down his cheek as he grabbed his phone and searched for something. "This is wrong."
Harry looked down at the screen when Niall shoved the phone to his face and he gasped. It was a picture of him and Kendall making out at a party from two weeks ago. Niall changed the picture and there was a fifteen second video of Kendall and him dancing and kissing, her arms around Harry's neck and his hands close to her ass.
"H-How'd you get those?" Harry stuttered out as Niall turned his phone off and went back to packing his things.
"I got them via an email from a stranger," Niall mumbled, closing the bag and zipping it up before moving to the next one. "No wonder you never kissed me or touched me anymore. All that guilt must be eating at you."
"Niall, I-I swear I didn't mean to," Harry tried, wanting to stop Niall from leaving but he knew the blonde was going to do so anyways. They'd been having problems for awhile now, the song Spaces being a product of Harry's insecurities during everything.
"I'm done, Harry. I'm so unhappy here because of that, because of what happened between you and Kendall and because of our relationship. I can't take it anymore. We sleep in the same bed, but it feels like we're just best friends living together. I need to start thinking about myself and being here with you isn't helping me," Niall cried, the tears rolling down faster now. "I'm not okay, Harry."
Harry's tears began to cloud his vision because Niall was right. He wasn't okay and Harry hadn't done a damn thing to make sure he was. He'd ignored the fact that Niall had drowned himself in school work and traveling for photo shoots. He'd ignored the fact that Niall had lost a significant amount of weight and he ignored the fact that sometimes Niall stayed up until really late tossing and turning unable to find sleep. His guilt had prevented him from seeing everything. From doing something.
"I'm so sorry," Harry choked out, a tear rolling down his cheek as he wrapped his arms around Niall's waist from behind and buried his face into Niall's back. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
Niall shook his head and bit his bottom lip, continuing to pack his things angrily. Trixie walked in just as Niall zipped up his last bag and she nudged her nose against his legs.
"Ni, please baby," Harry begged, watching his boyfriend drag his things towards the door.
"No, Harry. I'm done with you. Go be with Kendall if you want, but it's time I think about myself for once," Niall said as he looked at Harry sadly before going up to him. "I love you, I do, but I can't do this anymore. What we currently have is not healthy and you know it."
Harry cupped Niall's face in his hands and pressed his lips against the blonde's in one final kiss. Niall wrapped his arms around Harry's neck and closed his eyes as he savored Harry's lips for the last time.
Harry never thought Niall and him would part ways like this. He never thought they'd get to this situation and it's all his fault. He hadn't been trying hard enough and the arguments increased the more work they head and the more time they preferred to be away from one another.
They pulled away and Niall shook his head sadly before walking out of Harry's reach, his heart broken into a million little pieces as he began to walk away from the best thing that's ever happened to him. Away from the one guy who's shown him what true love is like and that Niall didn't need to fear it. Away from the guy who always treated him like a prince.
"W-Where are you going to go?" Harry asked worriedly as he watched Niall put on his coat and shoes.
"Hotel. Leaving for Ireland in the morning and when I get back I'll just find an apartment," Niall replied in a monotone voice as he avoided Harry's gaze, lips still tingling with their last kiss and his body yearning to feel Harry wrapped around him. "Bye Harry."
And Niall was gone. Out of his life and out of what used to be their home. He was gone and there was nothing else Harry could do because he'd messed it all up on his own.
~ ~ ~ */YOU/* ~ ~ ~
"Niall Horan returns to social media after his break up with Harry Styles"
'The Irish model closed down his Instagram and Twitter accounts shortly before Christmas and remained MIA for over a month. Niall made his return to social media this morning where he has since unfollowed Harry Styles along with his bandmates and deleted pictures with the singer. The two called it quits back in December claiming that they'd grown apart and that it was friendly break up. Since then, Horan has remained absent from social media and was last seen publicly heading into Heathrow. A friend close to the model told us, "Niall wanted to get away from it all. He's very heartbroken over his break up and can't believe they ever got to a point where they behaved more like friends..."
Niall Horan @NiallOfficial: One step at a time...
Niall Horan @NiallOfficial: Hoping that this year treats me better
Niall Horan @NiallOfficial: No I'm not changing my username back so please stop asking :)
Niall News @NiallNews: Niall returned to social media and changed his Twitter username
Narry Updates @NarryUpdates: Niall has now unfollowed Harry and the rest of the guys from FOUR from Twitter and Instagram :(
Narry Updates @NarryUpdates: Harry's unfollowed Niall from his social media as well
Jess @Jesssssy_16: why do I get the feeling that we're gonna get Narry drama soon? It's too quiet in the fandom
~ ~ ~ */NIALL/* ~ ~ ~
Niall wasn't sure how he'd gone through a whole month without Harry. He's been numb and only cried the first two days. The rest has been a haze of anger and disappointment. So much of those two Niall hadn't been able to function properly. He barely slept and ate. He had no idea how he was even alive at this point.
After leaving what had been his home, he flew to Ireland where he spent the last month in hiding. He spent that month spending time with his family where he also found out that Louis, Liam and Zayn knew that Harry had been cheating on him with Kendall since they were in LA for the AMAs back in November. Niall hadn’t been able to attend because of his own work and he’d even kissed Harry goodbye, the two having had spent the night before together trying to solve their problems. Niall had been happy and thought that things would be alright, but then Harry returned from LA and he couldn’t even look Niall in the eye and now the blonde knew why.
Then Niall got the pictures of Harry and Kendall at a party there in London and Niall had connected the dots. When the statement came out, Niall had said that things had ended in a friendly note between them and had stated as them having grown apart, but really, Niall had been so angry at the moment that all he wanted was to destroy Harry and tell the truth. But that wasn’t Niall and he knew he would regret it later on.
And now a month later, Niall was living alone in an apartment he wasn’t sure he could ever call home.
“Yes Shawn,” Niall sighed into his phone as he got his school things ready for his first day back from the holidays tomorrow.
“You know if you need me, just say so and I’ll gladly fly over, Nialler,” Shawn reminded the blonde in a worried tone.
“I’m fine mom, really. Besides, school’s starting again and that’ll keep me plenty busy. Aren’t you busy with writing for your new album and stuff?”
“No I’m actually not, but either way, I’m heading to London sometime in the beginning of February since I’m recording some songs up there and it’s a great excuse to go visit you and knock some sense into you if I have to.”
Niall chuckled softly and shook his head fondly at his best friend. Shawn now lived in Canada, much closer to his family and Niall was happy for him, he really was, but some days Niall just really needed him and wished they still lived together. Today was one of those days, but Niall wasn’t going to admit that. He’d already taken Shawn from his family for too long and now that the lad was finally back in his hometown, Niall wasn’t going to take that away from him again simply because he had a broken heart.
“Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t sound too like yourself,” Shawn asks for the third time in a soft gentle tone to not upset the blonde who bites his bottom lip and sits on his bed and stares down at his lap.
“I was wearing his hoodie that day I confronted him about the cheating and I ended up taking it with me to Ireland and I’m still wearing it. I reckon I should probably get rid of it so I can move on, but I honestly can’t,” Niall confesses in a broken voice and teary eyes as he lays back into his pillows, the same ones he was laying on the first time he and Harry made love nearly two years ago. “I’ve got a box in my closet with junk of his I keep finding in my drawers or cute notes he’d leave me in the pocket of my jeans. They’re all still there. His number is still in my phone and the worst thing is that if he decided to call and apologize right now, I’d forgive him because I miss him and I feel so fucking empty without him, Shawn. So so empty.”
“Oh Ni,” Shawn says softly and the blonde covers his mouth with the sleeve of his hoodie as he chokes back a sob. “Hey, no don’t cry. I know- I know this is fucking awful and all, but you’re strong and I’m very confident that you’ll feel better soon.”
“I-I know it’s just, I’ve spent this last month feeling so fucking angry and- and sometimes I don’t know what the hell I’m doing!”
Shawn stayed quiet on the other end as he let Niall cry his heart out, wishing they weren’t in different countries so he could just hug him until he’s not so broken anymore.
“I-I’m sorry,” Niall apologizes to him with a weak chuckle as he wipes away his tears though more keep coming.
“Don’t apologize, yeah? I’d be more worried if you didn’t cry and pretended that you were okay. Now, I know it’s late over there and you have classes tomorrow, so I’m gonna let you get some rest. But if you need to talk to me or something, just call me or something, I don’t care what time it is yeah? I’ll always be here for you,” Shawn told Niall sternly.
“Alright, thank you.”
“It’s no problem, yeah? Night, Nialler.”
“Night Shawn,” Niall said softly and hung up his phone before letting out a long tired shaky sigh.
Niall was bound for another sleepless night.
Niall was running a bit late for his seven thirty lecture, so he just made his coffee to go and grabbed a protein bar before racing out the door with his coat unbuttoned and scarf hanging around his neck. The only thing getting him through uni anymore was the idea of finally graduating next year. He was tired of seeing the same assholes everyday. Especially Mitch, his one night stand from before Harry.
"Yo blondie!" Someone shouted as Niall was halfway to the front door of the large school building.
He turned around and groaned when he saw it was Adam. He's from Ohio and arrived a few months ago and so far, he follows Niall around like a lost puppy. Harry always hated it and Niall loved to tease him about his jealousy.
"Yes Adam?" Niall asked as he turned around to stare at the taller lad whose cheeks and tip of his nose were bright pink from the winter air.
“Hi, it’s just- kinda missed you over the holidays,” Adam says shyly and Niall gives him a soft small smile.
Niall sees Adam in the hallways between classes and always sees him as loud when being around his friends, but the poor guy always gets all shy and quiet around Niall which is quite amusing to the Irish lad. As annoying Adam can be, Niall likes him though.
“Yeah? Did you have a nice time?” Niall asks him as he hooks his arm around Adam’s and the two begin to head towards the building to get away from the cold.
“Definitely! I got to go back home and see my family. Did you have a good time? I mean, I’m not trying to pry or anything, but I hope you did. You deserve it.”
The halls are crowded and Niall walks close to Adam to avoid bumping into his peers.
“Um yeah, it was okay. Could have been better,” Niall tells Adam honestly and the taller boy nods in understanding.
They split up after that and Niall heads to the third floor for his first class. The room is still sort of empty when he walks in, but he sits at the back like usual and waits for the professor to start the lecture.
"Alright class, settle down!" The professor called and the talking came to a complete stop. “I hope you all had a lovely holiday, but it’s time to get back to work. Today we're going to talk about your next big assignment-”
Niall sighed quietly and the professor went on and on about what's to come in the next four and a half months. He grabbed his phone and realized he had a text from Louis. Niall hesitated. His heart raced and he unlocked his phone to read the message.
Louis: I know I promised to give you time and all, but I really am sorry and I miss you so much, Neil. We honestly didn't mean to keep it from you but you gotta understand that we couldn't exactly tell you.
Niall took in a deep breath and then let out a shaky sigh. He understood why they wouldn't tell him, but doesn't mean it doesn't hurt that they all knew way before him. And now that he can remember, no wonder they sometimes looked at him with pitying looks.
Louis: we really are sorry Ni. We all feel so fucking guilty and I feel like I let you down. But I felt trapped. You're both my best friends and I didn't want to hurt you and I didn't want to hurt him either. He promised he would tell you and I should have known better
Niall felt himself tearing up a bit. He read over that same message trying to come up with a response, but he honestly couldn't. He wasn't as mad with the boys anymore, and he wanted to keep being their friend, but he wasn't sure what was getting in the way of forgiving them completely.
Louis: I just really hope you can forgive us soon, we really miss you. If you need more time than I understand and this time I'll wait until you give the first step.
And before Niall could text back, the girl sitting next to him nudged Niall who looked up in confusion only to find that the board in front of them was full of notes. The nearly brunette lad sighed and put his phone away to concentrate on his school work.
~ ~ ~ */HARRY/* ~ ~ ~
"I miss him," Harry whines as he sits on Liam's couch with a beer bottle in his hand and a sad tired look on his face.
"And whose fault was it," Zayn asks rhetorically as he looks up at Harry with an unamused expression.
Harry scowls and takes a large gulp of his drink. Liam only sighs and shakes his head at the younger lad in front of him.
"How long do you reckon I should wait before I try to talk to him again?" Harry asks them awhile later and they'd all thought they were done with that conversation.
"Honestly? A century. You know how much Niall hates Kendall and you sleeping with his enemy really erased you from his good books," Zayn answers him honestly and Harry groans as he runs a hand through his long messy hair. "Look, I know you're anxious to talk to him and apologize and beg for forgiveness on your knees, but don't torment the lad. Put yourself in his shoes, how do you think he feels? I say wait and give it all some time. He's a good kid and he can't hold grudges and we all know that. Just let him be for now."
"That and if Shawn's in town, I don't think he'd let you get to close without punching you," Liam added with a smirk and Zayn snickered while Harry rolled his eyes. "Kid's been packing some muscle lately."
"Yeah he has," Harry pouts. "Where's Louis? You two are always attached at the hip."
"He left this morning to go visit his family. He's still pretty upset over what happened. Especially with Niall ignoring us and all," Zayn explains to Harry who only feels a lot worse.
He knows Louis was really close to Niall and he can't even begin to imagine how awful Louis must feel.
Harry went to his house after that. As he entered his home though, he couldn't help but feel sadness wash over him. Trixie walked over to him and made a sad little noise as Harry crouched down to pet her.
"Oh Trix, if only I'd have known how to value the most important person in my life. Least you'll still get to see your mommy," Harry says as he hugs his dog tightly, closing his eyes as flashbacks of him and Niall playing with her flashed through his eyes. "Oh Ni, I'm so sorry bunny. So so sorry."
He never realized how empty his life is without Niall. The blonde was his everything, still is his everything but he let a stupid mistake ruin it all. He let Kendall in and now he can't shake her off and in the process he lost the love of his life.
Before Niall, Harry had known something was missing but he didn't know what. Then Niall appeared out of mistake and he suddenly felt complete, even when at first they only texted and didn't even know each other in person, Niall had been someone he could just tell anything to and not expect a sassy reply, or moody response. Niall had quickly become his best friend and it was refreshing to talk to someone who wasn't in his band. Someone who wasn't in the media, because even though Niall didn't understand, he still somehow knew the right thing to say. He knew how to make Harry okay after a long day of writing or rehearsing.
And now Harry's life was back to being empty. Back to being how it was even though he no longer knew how to live like that anymore. He didn't know how to breath without his Niall.
As he sat on his couch, he half expected Niall to walk in through the front door yelling for him and with a large grin on his face. As he stared towards the stairs, he thought about the countless times Niall ran down them and nearly tripped which would then make Harry scold him. He remembered all the times he'd walk in and would find Niall on the living room floor playing with Trixie.
He chuckled sadly to himself and wiped away his tears. Oh how did he want Niall back in his arms.