Chapter 1: It's like kissing your sister
Sombra doodles her younger sister Hana in her notebook while the teacher drones on about dividing rational functions. The past few pages are filled with similar drawings. When questioned, she explains that her adopted sister is one of the few people with an Asian complexion for her to practice, but in reality she just loves looking at and thinking about her face. She doesn’t remember when her parents adopted her sister, she was only two and a half at the time, but she remembers playing with her in the backyard, hiding out in their room when their parents fought, tutoring her, calming her down when she freaked out about her first period…
She focuses on the time their parents had a particularly bad fight so she stole a couple bucks from her mom’s purse and took her out for ice cream. She draws the warm smile on her face when she tasted the rare treat.
“Sombra, are you paying attention?” Mr. Goodman asks.
“Yeah, of course,” she answers without looking up. She repeats back the rule he spent most of the class trying to explain, so he gives her a final distrusting glance and turns back to the whiteboard.
“Your father and I are leaving now,” Angela says to her daughters.
“Sure you don’t need anything?” Jack asks.
“Nope,” Sombra answers.
“You’ll be fine until tonight alone?”
“Reinhardt would be—”
“ Yes .” She rolls her eyes. Hana’s to engrossed in her game to care.
“Alright. We’ll be home tomorrow afternoon. Should be plenty of food in the fridge.”
“There’s money on the dresser to order if you need to.”
“Do you think you’ll need more?”
“Nope, should be good.”
“You sure? It’s not a problem.”
“Jack, let’s go!” Angela says.
“Have a good time. Don’t burn down the house,” their dad says.
“You too.” she says. Hana waves as they leave.
Once an hour and a half passes and Sombra’s sure that they won’t be coming back because they forgot something, she turns to her little sister. “Do you have a girlfriend yet?”
She lifts one of the headphones off her ear. “Hm?”
“Have a girlfriend yet?”
“Never made out with anyone?”
She stops her mouse a couple inches from the “find game” button. “Why?”
“You wanna learn how?”
Her face tints pink. “What?”
“We have the house to ourselves and you’re a few months into high school. It’s the perfect time to learn. I’m pretty good at it, I can teach you.”
Hana contemplates asking what she means, but she thinks she knows already. Her face burns a little deeper. “I’m your little sister, is that even allowed?” she stammers out.
“Who’s gonna stop us? Besides, we’re not related.”
“But we grew up together. You’re not related to mom, you wouldn’t—”
“Do not finish that sentence. Besides, it’s completely different. She raised us, that changes the whole thing.”
“Back to the matter at hand…” she pauses and waits for an answer.
She closes her laptop, falters for a second, then opens her mouth. “Okay.”
“Yeah. Teach me.”
“Alright. Come over here.”
She positions her on the couch next to her. They face each other, knees touching. Hana’s clearly nervous, but Sombra’s much more confident. “Alright. You’ve been dating the hottest girl in school for a few weeks and she took you back to her house and you’re in her room.”
She slowly touches their foreheads together. She looks into her sister’s eyes, wide and innocent. “Okay. Start simple. Mouth closed, just lips touching. When you’re ready, touch my lips with your tongue.”
She moves in, both of their eyes closing. She shivers at the electricity that always accompanies the kiss, and waits for the signal.
After a second, she feels her soft tongue tease against her lips. She parts them slightly, and Hana opens hers.
Sombra pulls away suddenly. “Alright, you just put a bunch of spit in my mouth.”
“It’s all good. That’s why you’re practicing. Alright, now let’s say you wanna go straight into the makeout. Move in with your lips parted a little bit, but don’t have your mouth wide open. That’s just weird. Then sort of try to do what I do. If something feels good, go with that.”
The girls approach each other again. Sombra slides her tongue into her mouth, and Hana meets her with hers. Excitement and the sparks of arousal flare up in the two of them. Neither act on it yet, both content for the moment to just play in the cavern their mouths form.
After about a minute, Hana pulls apart, face flushed and gasping for air. “Gotta take breathing breaks, hon. Good job though, you’re getting the hang of it. Ready for the next step?”
“Of course. You don’t get into it if you keep your hands neatly folded in your lap. When making out with a girl, there are a few places you want your hand. Hair, back, and waist are all pretty safe. Ready for round three?”
Hana takes a deep breath, then moves in again. Sombra places her right hand on her lower back and her left hand in her hair. Hana puts one hand on her hip and the other on her neck. Sombra pulls her a little closer, tangling her fingers in her soft auburn hair.
They practice for over half an hour, Sombra teaching her sister breathing techniques so she doesn’t have to completely pull away every minute or two. By the time they’re done, Sombra’s pulled Hana onto her lap and she’s leaning against the back of the couch. Both their faces are flushed with excitement. At this point, there’s only one thing on Sombra’s mind. She knows it’s wrong, but can’t stop herself.
“Now do you want to learn what happens after making out?”
Hana’s face briefly twists in confusion, then her eyes widen. Did her older sister just ask to have sex with her? And… does she want to? She’s suddenly aware that her panties have gotten fairly damp, and her stomach flutters from the proposition.
“W-what do you mean?” she asks.
“I’ll just walk you through how to go through the bases. If we go as far as you’d like you just tell me to stop. That’s what you do with actual partners too.”
“Excellent! Alright, I’ve never gone all the way with a girl before, but I have some experience and a rough idea. So first base is ‘French’, we just covered that. Second base is ‘feel’. When you’re making out with a girl and you wanna move it forwards… well, I’ll show you.”
The two girls slide into each others mouths once more, and Sombra feels her sister’s breathing hitch as she slides her hand under her shirt. She shivers as her nails graze her sides and dance up her ribs. Her fingers glide over the underside of her bra, and then her hands slide under. Hana gasps as her sister squeezes her developing breasts, as the pads of her thumb pass over her nipples, as she gently pinches and pulls at them.
She slides her hands out and pulls away. “Now you try. You don’t have to do exactly what I did, but it’s a good guideline to follow.”
Hana tries to breathe out a response, then Sombra kisses her once again. Her fingers brush the hem of her shirt, then slide over her smooth stomach. Her hands tremble slightly as they glide over her bra, then trace along the band. Her tongue slows a bit when she tries to work up the nerve to touch her breasts, eventually almost completely stopping.
Sombra pulls away. “Can’t stop your tongue like that. Usually kills the move.”
“Sorry,” she breathes, incapable of speaking over a whisper.
“Try again?” Hana nods, so she approaches her and slides her tongue into her mouth. Once again, she finds the hem of her shirt and reaches up. She goes a little faster this time, it only takes two seconds to get to Sombra’s bra. Her fingers shake again, but she gets under her bra and her hands close over her breasts. She kneads them softly, then pulls away.
“S-sorry, my hands are shaking.”
“Do you want to take a break? We can pick this up later.”
“No!” she says, a little too loud. “No, I… it’ll just take me a little bit.”
She nods. “I was a mess my first time too. It’s why I’m helping you out. Again.”
This time she does better. She works up the courage to get to her breasts faster and brush over her her nipples. She kneads them softly for a few seconds, then they pull away.
“Awesome, you’re getting good at this. Want to stop here or move onto base three?”
“What’s base three?”
“The third ‘f’. Finger.”
She pales a little bit, but agrees.
“You sure? Don’t want to push you into anything.”
“You’re not. I-- I like it.”
“Ooh, you like making out with me?”
Her face goes deep red. “A lot.”
“We could make this a regular thing. Mom always says we should find more common interests.”
“Let’s move on. So you’ve gotten to second base with your girl a couple times, you wanna go further. I’ll demonstrate again.”
She pulls Hana in again, and slides her hand up her shirt. Her other hand slides down to her butt, gently squeezing. Hana sucks in a breath when she feels Sombra undo her bra.
“You’re fine with this, right?”
“Yeah… do it.”
Hana cooperates to pull her bra off her shoulders and down from under her shirt. Her nipples become hard when Sombra takes them between her fingers and lightly twists. Hana purrs into her mouth. One hand stays on her breast, but the other lightly dances down her stomach. Goose bumps raise on her skin as her sister approaches her panties.
Her fingers push past the band of her panties and into her nether regions. She brushes the partially grown pubes, feeling how soft they are. She plunges deeper, and her knuckles feel the wet stain on her panties.
“My my, you’re quite turned on, aren’t you?”
She can’t think to do anything but squeak out “mm-hmm”.
“You want to take a break? Just for a couple minutes?”
She shakes her head almost violently. Sombra pulls her close and cups her vulva with her fingers. Her index finger teases around her entrance, and Hana’s eyes widen. She doesn’t go in, instead opting to tease up her damp slit. Hana whimpers into her neck, her hand tightening around her shoulder. Sombra slides gently up and down her slit, getting a little closer to her clitoris each time. She shivers when her breath hits her neck, hot and fast.
She grazes her clit with her thumb, and she feels her entire body tense up with a gasp. She slowly deflates when Sombra uses her other hand to rub her back.
“You done this before? To yourself?”
“A few… sometimes.”
She gently pets her as she speaks.
“Every couple weeks,” she whispers, looking downwards.
“Aw, it’s cute when you’re embarrassed. When did you start?”
“Earlier this year.”
“You don’t have to be ashamed about this, Hana.” She kisses her softly. “I started when I was twelve.”
“How often do you do it?” Her teasing is clearly getting to her, her breathing is quick and her voice low.
“Anywhere from once or twice a week to once or twice a day.”
“Th-that’s a lot.”
She pulls her fingers out of her panties and slowly slides her index finger into her mouth. Hana watches, eyes wide, both observant and a little surprised. She turns her hand around and offers Hana her middle finger, gently pushing it towards her mouth. She opens her mouth and takes the finger.
“Lick it off.”
She swirls her tongue around her finger, sucking lightly as Sombra pulls it away.
“Wow, very good! You done that before?”
She chuckles. “Don’t blame you. You taste wonderful. Do you want to try me?”
She slides hand into the waistband of her sweats and panties, eyes transfixed on her crotch. She reaches to find her pubes, and her eyes widen as her fingers only hit soft skin. She explores her crotch, playing with her outer lips and inner thigh. She finds her slit and her hand automatically goes downwards to her vagina.
She suddenly pulls her hand away.
“What counts as sex?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like between boys and girls, sex is when the guy puts it in her, but what about between two girls.” She her voice catches and she whispers the last part. “Are we having sex?”
“Hmm… I think with girls sex is sort of what they decide it is. Personally I’d say sex is maybe eating out or scissoring, not just touching. So no, I don’t think we’re having sex.” She’s tempted to say “yet” at the end, but decides against it.
She whispers something Sombra can’t hear.
“What was that?”
She kisses her forehead. “Of course we can.”
Sombra leads her sister by the hand and takes her up to her room. She locks the door behind them and closes the curtains. Within seconds, she’s lying on the bed with Hana on top of her, tongues interlocked once more.
“Do you want to undress me?” Sombra asks.
Hana nods, and Sombra twists them so she’s sitting up and Hana’s sitting on her lap. Hana takes the hem of her shirt and Sombra lifts her arms so she can take it off.
“Clasp’s in the front.”
She fumbles with the clasp because her hands are shaking, but eventually gets it off. The bra falls to the floor, and she pauses to admire her breasts.
“Nice, aren’t they?”
She nods and gently cups them, squeezing gently. Sombra grabs the bottom of Hana’s shirt and starts to lift it, and Hana moves her arms so she can get it off.
“Ooh, wonderful,” she says. She still has some developing to do, but her breasts look amazing even now. Sombra kisses her neck, and Hana moans when her lips brush against the sensitive skin. She sucks very lightly as she makes her way down her neck and chest. She feels the rise and fall of her chest, her breath heavy with anticipation. Her lips touch her breast, and after a couple seconds she’s at her nipple. Hana gasps when she takes her nipple in her mouth and drags her tongue around the areola.
This alone gets Hana gasping and moaning, so she slides her fingers down her sides and down to her sweatpants. She takes the waistband of her sweats and panties in her fingers and slowly pulls downwards. Hana bends her knees to help get them off, and Sombra pushes her so she’s laying down on the bed. She squeezes her ass and starts to kiss down her stomach. She feels her abs tighten when she passes over them, and she starts to get a little giddy herself when she approaches her sister’s vulva.
Hana feels like butterflies with wings of white fire have moved into her body, and she never wants them to go away. Her sister makes her feel so good, she’s so glad she offered to do this, it’s barely started and she just wants to do it over and over.
Light explodes in her when her soft tongue brushes her clit. She moans and tenses up, then relaxes again. She gladly submits when a pair of hands push her thighs further apart. She feels her heart pounding in her chest as her tongue glides circles around her, and she moans when she hits the right angle.
She can’t help but whine a little when she pulls away, and Sombra smirks. She drops her sweats and panties and climbs back on top of her. She puts her right leg over her left and her left under her right, sliding closer to her.
“Alright, just match my rhythm and it’ll feel great.”
She starts grinding against her, and both girls feel an amazing warmth where they’re touching. Their slick pussies glide against each other, sending a jolt through them when their clits touch. Hana’s breathing takes on a mutedly excited waver that Sombra finds adorable.
It doesn’t take Hana too long to find the rhythm, and soon enough they’re in perfect sync. She feels a sickeningly sweet fire start to burn in the pit of her stomach, and it slowly spreads throughout her body. Sombra smiles at her and her heart melts. She’s so beautiful, and she’s making her feel so good…
She moans freely, exceedingly higher pitched cries of pleasure singing from her mouth. Sombra can’t help but smile, partially out of satisfaction and partially out of adoration. She repositions herself so she’s on top of her, doing her best to keep the rhythm the same. Hana’s gasps become even stronger as she feels the pressure building up within her.
Sombra brushes her sister’s hair out of her face and kisses her forehead, her nose, her cheeks, her lips. She makes Hana smile giddily, and she can’t help but beam down at her.
“Hana… I love you…”
“I— agh— love you… too!” the last word is punctuated with a wail of pleasure as she breaks, explodes, bursts with pleasure she’d never felt before. Pride surges within Sombra, she’s so happy she could make her sister feel this good.
She notes how beautiful Hana looks like this, coming down from orgasm. Her face is flushed and sweaty, and her eyes shine with afterglow. Sombra kisses her again.
“You don’t mind if I keep going, do you?”
She keeps grinding against her, groaning with pleasure. Hana starts moaning again soon enough, and the pressure starts to build up in her again.
Sombra’s orgasm is a bit quieter than Hana’s, but not much less powerful. She feels the familiar fire start to burn within her and moans with pleasure when it’s quenched. Hana flushes again as her sister cums, her mind scrambled.
“Want me to keep going?” she asks once she catches her breath.
“Yes!” is all she manages.
She’s more than happy to oblige, and resumes her previous pace. “You’re so beautiful, Hana. I’m so glad you let me deflower you.”
Sombra feels her sister’s legs start to twitch, a signal that she’s getting close. Her breathing hitches and she starts to moan louder. “Come for me again, Hana. Harder! Show me how much you love me!”
Hana bucks her hips and thrusts against her, white knuckling the bedpost as she moans ecstatically. “Scream for me. Scream my name.”
She feels her sister start to get pushed over the edge, sees her face contort beautifully, and she melts when she hears her scream “SOMBRA!”
Hana couldn’t imagine screaming anything else when the dam breaks again. Waves of pleasure and ecstasy course through her and stars fill her eyes. Sombra gently climbs off of her, and flops down next to her. She gently kisses her cheek and waits for her to recover.
“So how was I?” she asks.
“Incredible,” Hana answers.
“Best you’ve ever had?”
They both giggle. “Hey, you just lost your virginity! High five!”
Hana giggles again and slaps her palm.
“So do you want to make this a regular thing?”
Hope you enjoyed! Comments and Kudos are always appreciated! Next chapter might be up soon! See you there!
Chapter 3: Maybe we shouldn't
Just realized I don't think I ever revealed their ages. I wonder if this'll put it more in the "creepy" area or if you assumed it was something like this.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The next day at school, Sombra’s all Hana can think about. She spaces out in history and thinks about how she felt lying under her, all the stress forced out of her mind. She snaps back to reality and realizes her panties are a little damp, and she tries not to blush. She spends the whole day drifting between fantasy and reality, remembering what happened the day before and fantasizing about what could happen later. Her math teacher assigns her homework, and all she can think about is how much that will delay her getting to fuck Sombra.
That changes at lunch. She sits at her normal table with a bunch of other freshman. Orisa seems to be leading the conversation, discussing her weekend date with Bastion, a junior.
“He took me to a scary movie, probably hoping I’d do the thing where I get scared and cuddle up with him or something,” she says, “and Efi told me to play along, so I did, and I guess it worked.”
“You guess?” Lena asks.
She shifts, a little uncomfortable. “Yeah, he took me back to his place and we hung out a while, but then it got late and he wanted to” she lowers her voice to an uncomfortable whisper “have sex.” She resumes normal tone. “So I left.”
“Yeah, I think we’re a bit too young to be doing that, maybe in a year or two,” Lena says.
“I don’t even think it’s about being too young,” Fareeha says. “Fourteen year olds and sixteen year olds shouldn’t be having sex, it’s way too creepy.”
Hana’s immediately burned with shame and embarrassment, but fortunately no one notices. Lena and Orisa both agree, and change the subject once they see the boys starting to head over to sit with them.
Her post-lunch thoughts are very different than before. She keeps hearing “it’s way too creepy” over and over in her head, each time her voice becomes more judgemental and Fareeha stares harder and harder at her. Her English teacher thinks she’s sick and offers to let her go to the nurse.
Hana: I don’t think we should do this anymore
Sombra: Talk to me at home
She sighs. One more thing to dread. She zombie shuffles through the rest of the day, and then goes home.
She goes inside and greets her dad when she sees him sitting on the couch. He mumbles a “hello” in return. Maybe five, six years ago he would’ve noticed something was up and asked her why she was upset. Recently that duty fell to Sombra. Sombra, who she may never feel comfortable looking in the eye again. She wants to cry.
She waits an agonizing hour for Sombra to finish whatever club she’s in at the moment, hoping she’ll get there soon and it’ll all be over with. When she hears her arrive, she wishes she took longer. An all-too familiar pit in her stomach appears, and it feels like locusts flood her body when someone knocks on her door.
She opens it. “Hey. Can I come in?”
Hana nods, and she shuts the door behind her. “What’s wrong?”
Everything floods out. “We were talking at lunch today about how Orisa’s date wanted to have sex with her even though he was 16 and she was 14 and everyone brought up how gross that is and I just feel so dirty and wrong.” Tears well up in her eyes, and that alone embarrasses her. It shouldn’t, she’s cried in front of Sombra many times in the past, but it does all the same.
“Hana, it’s so different! Orisa’s date was some perv who wanted to get in a girl’s pants. We love each other, Hana. I’ve known you for your entire life and you’ve known me for most of mine. We—”
“Stop,” she whispers.
Sombra nods and feels guilty.
“I just… it feels so dirty .”
“Can I hug you?”
Hana nods, and is comforted by her sister’s arms wrapped around her… but a little disgusted too. Last week it would’ve reminded her of when Sombra was always there to console her when she was sad or upset, but now it just reminds her of… yesterday.
“Hana, if you want, we never have to do it again and we can forget all about it. I hope you change your mind, because I enjoyed it and I know you did, but we don’t have to do anything that you don’t want.” She gives her a final squeeze, and goes back to her room.
They both sit on their beds and stare at the wall feeling miserable.
Monday and Tuesday, Hana goes to bed feeling gross.
Wednesday, she tries to sleep, but her mind teases her with images of Sombra’s breasts. Her vagina wets against her will and she hates it. After lying awake with her panties burning with desire, she touches herself to thoughts of her sister, and goes to bed feeling gross.
Thursday, she wakes up after a dream of her and Sombra getting a hotel room and fucking all night. Disappointed by how lackluster masturbating felt after the real thing, she becomes painfully aware that her sister’s in another room.
No! She thinks. I’ll find another girl someday, I can just wait until then.
Friday morning, she realizes I don’t want another girl. She leaves for school before Sombra and spends the whole day thinking about her.
Friday night, her parents leave for some work event. After arguing for a while and asking Sombra the same question over and over “just to make sure you’re sure”, they leave.
Hana reaffirms that this is what she really wants, and knocks on her sister’s door.
“Hi. I was just gonna take a shower, I was wondering if you wanted to join me?”
Sorry to leave you here... no I'm not. Hopefully I can get the next chapter out quick.
Sombra happily follows her sister to the bathroom. “Sure you want to do this?”
“What changed your mind?”
“I realized that what some people say doesn’t matter, the only girl I’d ever want is you.”
She almost squeals when she hears that, and Hana opens the door and turns on the shower. The two girls quickly strip, excited to see each other naked again.
“Wow, you’ve got a sweet ass, Hana,” Sombra says. “Didn’t get to see it that much last time. Wish I did.” She cups it and squeezes firmly.
“So, uh, I know I’m the one who suggested it, but I’m not exactly sure how shower sex works,” Hana admits.
“Well, although the idea of shower sex is awesome, from what I’ve read online it’s better to do foreplay in the shower and save actual sex for afterwards. But let’s give it a try.” She opens the door to the stall-style shower, giving her ass a little shake before Hana goes in.
“Wish we had a bigger shower,” she says. “Oh well. Water’s good?”
“Yeah,” Hana answers.
“Good.” With little warning, Sombra pushes her sister against the wall and crushes their lips together. Hana’s surprised at first, but quickly melts into her. Their tongues dance around each other, and Hana wishes she hadn’t made them lose the week. Sombra reaches around and squeezes Hana’s ass, gently kneading it.
Hana reaches up to squeeze her breasts, gently pinching her nipples and running her thumb around her areolae. “You can play a little rougher than that, come on.”
She pinches and pulls on her, then leans down to put her mouth around them. She takes one of her nipples in her mouth and gently takes it in her teeth. “Excellent!”
A couple seconds later, there’s a knock on the door. Both girls freeze and stare at each other with shocked expressions.
“Yeah?” Sombra answers.
“Sombra? Have you seen Hana anywhere?” their dad shouts through the door.
“Uh… I think she went out for pizza or something.”
“Alright. Tell her to text me when she gets back. We’re leaving again now.”
They stand silently until they think it’s safe.
“Well, that was kind of a mood-killer,” Hana says.
“What? Come on, almost getting caught like that is a turn on.”
“Are you crazy?”
“A little bit.”
“Can you imagine having to explain what we were doing?”
“Can you imagine the look on his face?”
“You are crazy.”
“Hey man, some people like the idea of getting caught.”
“People! It’s a fetish, some people like it, some people don’t. Anyway, we were in the middle of something.”
Tuesday after school, Sombra knocks on Hana’s door. “Hey. Done with homework?”
“Yeah, just finished.”
“Good.” She locks the door behind her. “Take your pants off.”
“Sombra, mom’s home!”
“I know, so be quiet.”
“We can wait until later.”
“Remember when I told you how hot getting caught is?”
“Remember when I disagreed?”
“Don’t go into things with a closed mind, Hana. This could be really fucking hot.” Hana looks at her skeptically. “Come on, you don’t have to do anything to me. Just let me eat you out and try not to moan.”
The prospect is tantalizing, and getting off seems appealing at the moment. “Okay. I’ll try it.”
Hana peels off her jeans and panties, arousal starting to slowly cook within her. She lays down on her bed, and Sombra positions herself between her legs. She gently drags her nails over her inner thighs, sending a shiver through her. Her hot breath sweeps over her vulva, arousing her further. She kisses up her inner thigh, and once she gets to her prize she drags her tongue up to her mound and then back down the other side. Hana silently endures the teasing, despite frustrated moans pressing against her lips.
Finally, Sombra’s tongue touches her entrance, lightly licking over it, tasting her juices. She glacially drags her tongue upwards, gently parting her slit, getting turned on herself by Hana’s muffled squeaks.
Just before getting to her clit, Sombra pulls away. “Try biting a pillow, you can be a lot quieter that way.”
“Just get back in there,” Hana orders.
“Ooh, bossy. I think I like it.”
Hana gets a pillow ready just in case and Sombra dives back into her. Hana exhales sharply as her tongue sweeps up her sex and makes contact with her clit. Sombra traces circles around it with her tongue and hears her breathing quicken.
Soon enough, the pillow is crammed into her mouth and her face is contorted with the effort of staying silent. Her back arches with pleasure, and Sombra has to grab her ass so she doesn’t get bucked off. Sombra feels her body twisting with ecstasy as it nears the edge. She does her best to get her there quickly. Hana finds her hand cupped around her breast, and wishes she’d undressed fully.
Stars break in her eyes and she strains to not scream in ecstasy. Her whole body writhes as she gets off, and Sombra pulls away with one last kiss to her lower lips.
She looks at Hana, breathing heavily with eyes wide open and pillow still in mouth. “So, how was it?”
Hana gives her a thumbs up. Sombra sits next to her, gently rubbing her thigh. “What'd you think?”
“Alright, I’ll admit it was better than I was expecting.”
“Do it again soon?”
Not sure why this chapter took me a while to write, I just kept putting it off for some reason. Hope you enjoyed it, and as usual comments are always appreciated, positive or negative.
Chapter 5: Relaxation
Short chapter here, just wanted to bang this one out. Next one will be longer as soon as I figure out what it's going to be.
Five fifty in the morning, and Sombra sneaks into Hana’s room. She notes how beautiful she looks when she’s asleep, then gently positions herself into her bed behind her.
“Hana,” she whispers, trying not to jolt her awake. “Hana,” she tries again, a little louder this time.
She groans a little. “What?” She’s not awake enough to speak louder than a whisper.
“You got that big test today, right?”
“Want me to help you destress?”
“Okay. Just relax, baby. I’ll take care of you.” The words flow softly out of her mouth.
Her fingers find the waistband of her panties and slide in, gently sweeping over her pubes and her sex, and she whispers sweetly as she fucks her.
“I know you’ll do fine… it’s just a stupid test…” and later “you’re so beautiful… I love you so much…” until she gets off, quietly soaking her panties and her sister’s hand. Hana wishes she could relax in that moment forever, with one of Sombra’s hands in her panties and the other wrapped lovingly around her, cozy in her bedroom, with rain pounding against the windows.
Unfortunately, she has to go to school.
“Shit, that test was brutal,” Orisa says.
“Actually kill me,” Jesse says.
Hana shrugs. “It was alright.”
“You’ve been weirdly calm lately,” Orisa notes.
Hana shrugs. “I guess.”
Fareeha abruptly interrupts. “Hana, can I talk to you alone for a minute?”
She becomes unnecessarily paranoid that Fareeha had somehow guessed what she was doing with her sister. “Uh… sure.” She leads her to the corner of the cafeteria by the broken vending machine and pulls out her phone.
“You’re not gonna like this… but look.”
She pulls out a picture of her mother Ana and Hana’s dad enjoying each other’s company a bit too much.
“Oh my God…” Hana manages. She feels like her knees are going to give out and blood drains from her face.
“Just thought you should know.”
“Can you… send that to me? I need to show Sombra.”
Fareeha nods and Hana feels like she’s about to throw up.
Hana runs to her sister’s room after school. “Hey! Here to return the favor?” Sombra asks.
“Not right now.” She pulls out her phone and shows her the picture Fareeha sent her.
“Oh, jesus.” Her world isn’t as devastated as Hana’s, but she’s clearly a bit shocked. She sighs. “I guess it’s not that surprising. Mom and dad don’t really love each other, of course they’re going to start looking elsewhere.”
“One second. I have just the thing we need right now.”
She opens her desk drawer, shifts some random crap around, and takes out a plastic bag. She tosses it on her desk and rifles through some other drawers.
Hana’s eyes widen. “Is that…”
“Mary Jane, my first love.”
After a couple minutes, Sombra has a blunt rolled with experience Hana didn’t exactly expect from her. She lights it and inhales deeply, then passes it to her sister. She reaches for it, pauses to reconsider, then takes it. She inhales lightly, then passes it back.
“What were you saying?” Sombra asks.
“Uh…” she pauses to try to remember. “Oh. Mom and dad are still married, it’s not right. I know they barely even like each other, but you’re supposed to at least separate before looking somewhere else.”
“What’s it matter? Marriage is a joke anyway.”
“What do you mean? You don’t want to get married someday?”
“As much as I like the idea of being that committed to someone, I don’t think you need to be married to do it. Besides, the way humans are, mating for life is a fucking joke.”
What are we doing then? She wants to ask. You said you loved me. Don’t you? She half wishes Sombra could see the expression on her face, and is half glad she doesn’t. An emptiness gnaws inside of her, and she fills it with smoke.
Late that night, she sits up in her room surrounded by some notebooks she dug up. She was never as good of an artist as Sombra, but she tried to learn after her sister did. The notebooks contain sketches of herself in a wedding dress, in her earlier drawings from when she was a kid she’d be standing across from some faceless man, but as she got older they became more detailed women.
She flips through the notebook she carried with her through all of eighth grade. In the back is a wedding playlist she added to whenever she heard a song she liked. In retrospect, some of them were absolutely terrible choices, but some of them brought up the image of her dancing with a beautiful girl she loved with all her heart on the happiest day of their lives.
She puts the notebooks away and tries to go to sleep, but she can’t stop thinking about what Sombra said. As much as I like the idea of being committed to someone… mating for life is a fucking joke. She tries to focus on the first half, but she just keeps hearing that one of her deepest desires is “a fucking joke”.
So? a voice in her head says. What did you have with her anyway? You had sex a few times, that’s it.
She tries to argue back. But we said we loved each other.
You don’t know what love even is. Love is supposed to be a fiery passion for another human that consumes your very soul. That’s what you’ve always romanticized it as, isn’t it? But neither of you actually love each other. You just want to get in each other’s pants.
She tries to think of a justification. I can’t stop thinking about her.
You can’t stop thinking about her breasts.
Trying to tune out the voice she grabs her headphones and tries to sleep with music blasting. Eventually, it works, but she only gets a couple hours of restless slumber.
Despite this, she feels a little better in the morning. She tries to have a rational conversation with herself on the way to school. She looks up the definition of love on her phone: “(n) an intense feeling of deep affection.” Alright, maybe the intensity isn’t quite there yet. There’s still deep affection.
She scrolls down a bit. “(v) feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).” There we go.
Not good enough, her subconscious replies.
She spends the rest of the day trying to ignore herself. Halfway through the day, she realizes that she was so caught up in trying to convince herself that she was in love that she forgot about the main problem: “mating for life is a fucking joke.”
Hana: did you really mean that?
Hana: “mating for life is a fucking joke”?
Sombra: look at our parents
Hana: Look at other people’s parents!
Sombra: Like your friend Fareeha’s?
Hana: What about us??
Sombra: We really shouldn’t be texting about us.
Sombra: Delete the messages and we’ll talk at home.
Hana sighs and obeys. The day falls into the now too-familiar doublethink of passing way to quickly and dragging on far too long. Both girls arrive home at about the same time, and Sombra brings Hana into her room.
“Sombra… you love me, right?”
“What kind of love?”
“What do you mean?”
“Do you love me like a sister? Best friend? Girlfriend? Soul mate?”
“I don’t believe in soul mates.” Hana looks at her silently, waiting for an actual answer. Sombra sighs. “I don’t know. Everything’s just blending together. It’s just like this… this… there’s something within me that flares up when I think of you and even more when I see you and I just never want it to go away.”
“Ever? For the rest of your life?” The same feeling Sombra just described starts building up in Hana’s head, chest, and stomach.
“I don’t think you can blame me for thinking everlasting love is hard to come by,” she says. “But I want to try. With you.”
A feeling Hana can’t describe but is definitely love blooms within her. Sombra kisses her softly and it gets even stronger. “Alright, finish your homework and I’ll take you out to dinner later.”
“Like a date?”
“If you want,” she says.
She took them out of town so no one would recognize them, and after burgers and ice cream they sit on the hood of her car and stare up at the stars like it’s the 70s or 80s. Sombra has one arm tightly wrapped around Hana, who’s snuggled up close to her. She’s never had a healthy view of love before. First was her parents, who actively disliked each other. Sophomore year was full of people who just wanted to date her for sex, people who she just wanted to date for sex, and getting cheated on a lot. And abandonment. A lot of abandonment.
She looks to her side. She knows Hana’s pure. Hana would never abandon her, and she’d never abandon Hana. She kisses her on her head and whispers that she loves her.
Gonna be a quite a bit of smut coming soon before things get shitty again
Chapter 7: Smut and fluff
Enjoy the fluffy smut while it lasts, there's only this and one more chapter before it all goes to shit again.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Every couple Sundays, Jack and Angela drag their daughters to the mall. Unfortunately, this is one of those Sundays, so they waste the day following their parents through the mall. Fortunately, today’s one of their “silent days”, it’s mortifying to be with them when they’re arguing nonstop, but both girls can feel the tension building, just waiting for something to push them over the edge.
“Can we go to GameStop?” Hana asks.
“Later,” Jack says.
“I can take her, we’ll meet you back here in a few minutes,” Sombra offers.
“No, we can be a family today,” Angela says.
We really fucking can’t , Sombra thinks. She considers sneaking off anyway, she doubts either of them would notice if they left, but doesn’t want to risk it. Besides, if they bought anything there it would be obvious that they left. Hana gets a couple texts in a group chat asking if anyone wants to hang out. She sighs and has to ignore it.
A feeling of dread overcomes them as they walk into their mother’s favorite clothing store. It’ll be dark by the time they get out of there, and they’ll still have half the mall to go. Jack follows her quietly throughout the store as Sombra and Hana get more and more restless.
Sombra pulls on Hana’s sleeve and leads her away from their parents. “Where are we going?” Hana asks.
Sombra giggles. “Oh, sweet, innocent Hana.” She looks around to make sure no one’s watching, then pulls her into one of the stalls and locks the door.
“What are you—”
“Shh… be very quiet. And get naked.”
“Oh my god, are we actually—” Hana whispers.
“Quieter,” Sombra breathes, starting to undress. Fortunately, the stall door goes all the way to the ground, so they don’t have to worry about people seeing two pairs of feet.
Soon enough, both girls are naked, and Sombra covers the bench with their clothes. “We’re actually doing this?” Hana asks.
“Yes. Be perfectly silent.” Sombra sits down on her shirt, and gestures for Hana to join her. She really wants to kiss her, but knows even that will make too much noise. Instead, she goes directly to third base and runs her fingers up and down her slit. Hana shivers with anticipation, and gasps slightly when she touches her clit.
Sombra presses a finger to her lips, and Hana nods. She spreads her legs a little, and gestures for Hana to play with her. Hana nods and extends her hand, brushing against her fingers against her vulva. She slides her fingers into her, feeling her hot, wet walls press against her, and curls her fingers the way she taught her to, finding her g-spot. Sombra’s body shudders, but she doesn’t make a sound.
A couple muffled whimpers from Hana later, and Sombra realizes she has to do something about her. She has her lie down on the bench, and moves so she’s above her, almost as if she’s about to fuck her missionary style. She keeps her right hand between her legs and uses her left to cover her mouth.
“This good?” she breathes. Hana nods. Sombra takes a second to admire her, how hot it is to see her naked beneath her, her mouth covered but her eyes begging for her. She slides her fingers into her and draws circles around her with her thumb.
Hana finger fucks her for a while, until she leans down and whispers “clit”. She slides her fingers out and drags her juices along her, finding the requested area and gently rubbing it. Sombra exhales slowly, controlling her volume. She’s not sure how much longer she can, though, she taught her sister well and she’s gotten quite good at fingerbanging her.
Within six or seven minutes, Hana’s clutching her breast and half-silenced moans are leaking out from behind Sombra’s hand. She bucks her hips violently, but Sombra lets it happen because it’s not making a terrible amount of noise and it’s pretty hot to watch.
All the noise that should be coming out of her mouth instead spills from her vagina, joining the heat of her regular orgasm. Sombra almost melts watching, she can’t scream but she can see the orgasm in her eyes, fuck, she’s so beautiful. She pulls her fingers out of her, slick with her juices, and sucks on them. How the hell does she taste so good?
She feels her thighs start to tense up as the heat’s ready to rush out of her too. Another minute, and her face contorts with silent pleasure as she comes. Hana removes herself from her and licks her fingers clean. Sombra isn’t as sweet as she is, but she enjoys it nonetheless.
Legs shaky, Sombra lowers herself back onto the floor and helps Hana to her feet. They start to get dressed again, and Sombra notices that most of their fluids ended up on her shirt.
“Oops,” Hana whispers.
“It’s dark, no one will notice,” she shrugs, slipping it back on. It’s fairly noticeable, but she could probably play it off as having spilled something on herself. They check to see if the coast is clear, and sneak back into the store. Both their parents are still there, and if they noticed their absence, they didn’t say anything about it.
It’s the Friday before memorial day weekend, the day before the town pool opens. With Jack and Angela gone, Sombra sees it fit to give Hana a private show as she figures out which swimsuits fit and which don’t.
“You have Wilhelm for history, right?” Sombra asks as she starts to strip out of her normal clothes.
“Yep,” Hana says, taking off her shorts and panties to she can fully enjoy the show.
“So this is around when he assigns that end of year project,” she says, taking off her bra.
“Yeah, he assigned the groups on Thursday.” She focuses on her breasts and starts rubbing her crotch.
“Who’s in your group?”
“It’s me, Jesse, and Amelie.”
“Ooh, the hot French one? She’s a sophomore, right?” She slides off her panties, and poses briefly to give Hana a good look at her.
“Yeah, that’s her.”
“What’s your topic?” She picks up a one piece and starts putting it on.
“American frontier, at Jesse’s insistence.”
“Jesse’s the one obsessed with cowboys, right?”
Sombra finishes donning the swimsuit. It doesn’t fit right, and crushes her breasts almost to the point of forcing them out.
“Gotta say, I really like that one,” Hana says, her arousal flaring.
“Can’t really agree with you on that one.” She starts stripping it off, and Hana rubs herself a little bit faster.
“So how’s school been for you?”
“AP tests are over, so we’re not really doing much. So pretty great.” She puts on the top of a bikini, and reaches for the other half.
“No, keep it just like that.”
“Damn, you’re pervier than I thought.”
“Only for you.” She moans as Sombra turns around and shakes her butt at her before putting on the rest of the swimsuit.
“Hey, mom and dad are gonna be gone tomorrow night until Sunday afternoon. How do you feel about watching some porn together and then sleeping in the same bed?”
“I would love that.”
After a couple minutes of Sombra’s modeling show, she brings herself to a soft, moaning orgasm. It’s not as powerful as the ones she has with Sombra, but sometimes it’s all she needs. Besides, there’s plenty of time for those tomorrow.
Don't have sex in a changing room. Just don't.
As soon as Jack and Angela are out of the house, Hana and Sombra have the computer open and on xvideos. “Lesbian?” Sombra asks.
Hana starts to undress as Sombra pulls up a video that looks good. As it loads, Sombra takes her pants off, but prefers to rub herself through her panties. They gently rub themselves for a few minutes, moaning softly.
“Oh jesus, look how long her nails are,” Sombra says. Hana winces just thinking about it. They soldier on for another few minutes, until both girls in the video are making some of the least sexy fake noises they’ve ver heard.
“Okay, moving on,” Sombra says, clicking out of the video. She finds another one. “Oooh, a strap-on. We should get one of those.”
The first couple minutes are decent foreplay, but it goes to hell after that. “Oh my god, why the hell is she sucking the strap on.”
Sombra sighs. “Third time’s the charm, I hope.”
The third time was not the charm. Nor was the fourth, fifth, or eighth.
“This is why I usually just watch softcore,” Hana says.
“Alright then, you find something.”
Hana switches sites. “You kinda got me into watching more public videos,” she says. She pulls up a video of a busty girl masturbating in a pool changing room.
A couple minutes through the video, Hana sucks in a breath as Sombra reaches over to graze her inner thigh. Her pinky slowly creeps over to the edge of her vulva, the other fingers slowly following. Hana hasn’t quite mastered the subtelty yet, so when she wants to return the gesture her fingers immediately meet Sombra’s hand. Sombra starts removing her panties, and as her right hand is a bit preoccupied with teasing, Hana helps her take them off.
Neither girl gets off from the video, but they’re both sufficiently aroused and ready to go. Sombra suggests they move to the bed, and Hana happily agrees. “We’ve never done a 69, have we?” Sombra asks.
“No, but I want to.”
Sombra crashes onto the bed and lies on her back. “Get on top.”
Hana eagerly positions herself on top of her, and excitement flows through her when Sombra grabs her ass and positions her properly. She moans as Sombra licks her eager pussy, and starts to return the favor. She’s not used to the angle, but works with it, and soon enough gets into a good rhythm. She feels her sister moan into her, sending tingles through her pelvis and abdomen. Loving the feeling, she moans into Sombra as well.
With all the teasing earlier, it doesn’t take Hana long to get off, stars bursting in her eyes, and she delivers a long moan into Sombra’s crotch.
Sombra’s not done yet, though, and keeps licking, loving the soft, wet skin.
They stay like this for over half an hour, pleasure flowing endlessly through each other. Eventually, they’ve both had enough, and Hana rolls off of her.
“That was… so good…” Hana pants.
“Definitely need to do that again soon,” Sombra agrees. She starts to get up. “Follow me.”
Hana quickly puts on a shirt and panties, and follows her out of the room. Sombra, not as concerned with modesty, didn’t bother getting dressed. It doesn’t matter much, in their quest to remove all joy from the house, Jack and Angela keep most windows covered by thick curtains that are rarely open. She pours them both a glass of water. “Gotta rehydrate after that.” Hana thanks her and downs the drink.
“Now…” Sombra says, pulling out two wine glasses and setting them on the counter. She also finds a half empty bottle of red wine. She pours herself a glass, then offers it to Hana.
“I’m fourteen,” she reminds her.
“So was I when I first tried it. Just a little bit?”
“Yeah, why not.” She pours a couple teaspoons worth into the cup and hands it to her.
She takes a tentative sip and grimaces. “This is vile.”
“Yeah, I thought so to. You get used to it.”
“I don’t think I will,” she says, pushing it away.
Sombra shrugs and finishes her glass, rinses them out, and puts them back.
“Alright, I’m going to bed. Feel free to join me when you want.”
“Now sounds good,” she says. Both girls go back up to Sombra’s room. Sombra lays down on one side, giving Hana about half the bed. Hana strips back down and lays next to her.
“Good night, beautiful,” Sombra says, kissing her forehead.
“Good night. I love you.”
Sombra’s quick to drift off to sleep, but Hana lies awake a little longer. She feels the body heat radiating off of her, looks at the soft contours of her face, and feels perfectly content. She kisses her forehead softly and closes her eyes. She feels safe, protected next to her.
Sombra didn’t expect either of them to be able to sleep, assuming one of them would wake the other by accident at some point, but she wakes up at ten the next morning surprisingly well rested.
“Morning,” Hana says.
“Hey. Sleep well?”
Hana smiles and looks up at the ceiling. “When we’re older and move out we can do this every night.”
“I’d love that."
Well, that was nice. Too bad it's over. Time for everything to get fucked up. Such is life.
The next Friday, Hana has Amelie and Jesse over to work on their project. As Hana’s predicted, Jesse’s already loaded with knowledge on the subject, so the girls mostly work as scribes.
Amelie notices her collection of game consoles (that her parents tried to buy her love with). “Oh yeah, you’re the gamer one, right?”
“Yep, that’s me.”
“You got Halo?”
“All of them.”
“Maybe when we’re done the three of us could play a few rounds.”
“Didn’t know you were into games, Amelie,” Jesse says.
“Oh, I’m very good.”
Not as good as Hana, it turns out. All three of them are surprisingly adept, though, and spend a couple hours dominating in multiplayer.
Doomfist: Hello there
Doomfist: Motherfucker I forgot this was my nickname
Akande removed his nickname
Akande: You there
Sombra: Yep. What’s up?
Akande: I’m back in town for the day
Akande: With some VERY good weed, I might add
Akande: You doing anything today?
Sombra: Actually wanted to get out of the house, sister has a bunch of friends over so I was looking for something to do.
Akande: Someone, perhaps?
Sombra: Hahaha nope
Sombra: Have a girlfriend.
Akande: Well, if you still want to join me, let me know.
Within a couple minutes, she’s outside her old friend’s house. It already smells pretty strongly of weed, and when she walks inside she sees him sitting on his couch with a blunt in hand.
“Sombra! Looking beautiful as always.”
“You’re even more stoned than I thought,” she jokes. He’s not looking that bad either. She hasn’t seen him in two years, and by the looks of it he’s spent most of that time working out.
“Want a hit?”
They spend most of the morning catching up and getting incredibly blazed. They don’t stop until one of his neighbors bangs on his door to complain about the smell.
“Remember last year when we used to fuck?” Akande asks.
Sombra giggles softly. “Of course. That was fun .”
“Sure was. Remember that night we did it three times?”
“Remember when we tried for the fourth and you could hardly get it up?”
He chuckles. “Good times. Remember the first time we got high and did it?”
“Just a sec, it’s a bit warm in here, I hope you don’t mind.” he strips off his shirt. Sombra’s temporarily stunned when she sees his muscular torso. “What were you saying?”
“I…” she starts laughing hysterically. “I don’t remember.”
He joins in laughing.
“Hey, you know I’m all for equality. Want to join me?” He gestures to his bare torso.
“Oh, hell yeah,” she says. She strips off her shirt and bra.
“Even better than I remembered,” he smiles.
“Probably are better, grew quite a bit in the last year.”
“Oh, so have I,” he says.
She giggles. “Alright buddy, keep it in your pants.”
“Hey, it’s my house, it goes wherever it wants.” He spaces out for a second, then quickly comes back. “Hey, come here a second.”
“Okay.” She sits next to him.
“You have an Ogundimu on your face.”
“A wha—” he suddenly kisses her. She’s surprised for a second, but quickly embraces the familiarity of his kiss and mindlessly indulges in him.
Taking this as an invitation, he starts pushing her onto her back, ending up on top of her. Not one for foreplay, he gives her breasts an obligatory kneading for a few seconds, then slides his hands down to her shorts. He unbuttons them while she feels up his muscular torso and back.
She helps him slide off her shorts and panties, and he undoes his pants. In a couple seconds, they’re both naked, and he slides his erect penis down her slit and penetrates her.
She moans with pleasure shortly after he starts thrusting into her. One of her hands grabs her breast and the other finds her clit and she starts playing with herself.
Sex is so much better while stoned, she thinks. I’ll have to try this with Hana.
Oh god, Hana.
“Wait, stop!” she yells. He does.
“What’s the matter? Doesn’t hurt, does it?”
She pushes him out of her and gets out from under him. “I…” tears start to fill her eyes when she gets dressed. “I have a girlfriend. I’m sorry, I… I need to go.”
She finishes getting dressed and runs outside.
When she’s back home, Hana’s friends are already gone.
“Jeez, Sombra, how much have you been smoking?”
I should wait to sober up, maybe tell her in the morning… she cuts off that train of thought quickly. She needs to tell her now.
She can see Hana’s heart shatter when she confesses her sin. Her face goes pale, then red, then pale again. The shocked expression on her face hurts the most, it makes her feel like she just waterboarded a puppy.
“But… how… you said you loved me.”
“I did. I do.”
“No! You lied to me!” her voice breaks. “You used me!” she starts crying. “You’re worse than dad!”
That one hurts the most, because it’s true.
“No!” she sprints out of the living room, out of the house, through the spring evening, trying to suppress the tears until she can find somewhere to let it out. She ends up in the park, and finds a bathroom to lock herself in. It looks almost as disgusting as she feels. She closes herself in and starts bawling.
Sombra too goes to their bathroom. She looks into the mirror and sees a red-eyed demon glaring back at her. She’s done the worst thing she could possibly do, betrayed her sister the same way she’d been betrayed countless times. I hate you, she whispers to herself.
She finds a razor, and for a second she’s struck with a desire to bring it to her neck and destroy herself. No, she deserves worse. And she could still protect Hana in some way, at least try.
Her arms are her next choice, but it’s too obvious. Someone would notice. Instead, she takes her shirt and bra off and lifts her breast. She cries out as she slashes the skin underneath it, blood starting to flow down her stomach. She takes a washcloth and starts to wipe herself off, taking it to her room so she can clean herself as needed. She stops in the kitchen to take a bottle of wine to her room.
When Hana drags herself home a few hours later, red eyed and broken, Sombra’s hiding in her room, drunk. She winces as she hears Hana go back into her room, throw something, and start sobbing once again. She’s tempted to put on headphones and block it out, but she deserves to have to hear it.
She’s tearing up the notebooks with drawings and wedding plans in them. Sombra confirmed what her parents made her believe. There’s no such thing as love.
Man, how'd I get here? This started just as "ooh, underage adopted sisters are fucking, look how naughty this is" and now we're here. Hopefully I can figure out how to fix this so I can write more fluff smut. This is seriously starting to depress me.
Human Aimbot: Alright, Jesse and I have been wondering about this for a while, so I’m just going to ask.
Human Aimbot: You don’t hate us, do you?
TANKTANKTANK: Of course not
TANKTANKTANK: Why would I?
Cowboy: Well, admittedly we didn’t know you too well before, but you got really spacey and upset around the same time we started hanging out.
Human Aimbot: IIRC, the monday after we all came over every single one of your teachers offered to send you to the nurse or to the teen center.
Human Aimbot: We wanted to make sure we didn’t do anything
TANKTANKTANK: No, it wasn’t you guys
TANKTANKTANK: I like you guys a lot!
TANKTANKTANK: Just… I don’t want to go into the details (with ANYONE) but my sister really upset me that weekend and it’s been hard to recover.
Cowboy: My sister can be a piece of work a lot of the time, it’s just your sister, nbd
TANKTANKTANK: It’s not like that
TANKTANKTANK: You guys notice how you’ve never met my parents despite spending hours at my house?
TANKTANKTANK: It’s pretty much always been like that, so Sombra’s pretty much taken care of me.
TANKTANKTANK: She was my best friend
TANKTANKTANK: And now she’s not.
Jesse and Amelie send obligatory sympathies. Over the past few weeks, thinking about what happened made want to cry, punch, or curl up in a ball in a dirty restroom and never get up again. Now she just feels insufferably empty, her whole body devoid of emotion except for a simmering negativity.
She’s actually really thankful to Jesse and Amelie. Sombra was mostly her only companion, but she’s only seen her a few times since the incident. She’d taken the opportunity to tell her she hates her, and all she did was nod somberly and say she hates herself too. While she couldn’t rely on Jesse and Amelie as much as she could rely on Sombra, they’ve still been a huge comfort.
Soon enough, it’s the first day of summer break. Hana promises herself she’ll get out of the house and do something. She doesn’t. She promises herself she’ll do it tomorrow. She doesn’t. It takes a week of half self-loathing, but she finally goes outside into the summer air.
She walks around for a while with no destination, and eventually finds herself in a coffeehouse. Amelie’s there, sitting next to Lena, apparently. She didn’t know they were friends. Or more than friends , she thinks, noticing how they’re cuddled up to each other and possibly holding hands.
She plans on maybe waving at them, getting a drink, and leaving, but Amelie waves her over. She sits down across from them.
“Promise it wasn’t me who made you feel bad?” she asks.
“Yeah, of course. It was all Sombra, you’ve actually been a huge help.”
“Your sister?” Lena asks. “What did she do?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. Ever. Basically I trusted her and she betrayed me.”
“Yeah, we’ve been there,” Lena sighs.
“Sorry, are you two together?” Hana asks.
“Yep! For a couple months now.”
“Why didn’t I know about this?”
“We kept it a secret because…” Lena starts, then falters.
“We can trust her,” Amelie says. “Just don’t tell anyone. We were actually poly with another girl, but she cheated on us.”
“Wait if you were, uh, poly—”
“The three of us were just supposed to be exclusive to each other. Like a regular couple, but with three people,” Lena explains. “She had other plans, I guess.”
“Now that it’s just the two of us, there’s no reason to hide it,” Amelie says. “Unless we find another third we know we can trust. Maybe a girl our age who knows what betrayal feels like and wouldn’t ever dream of making someone feel the way she did.”
“I’m starting to get the feeling you have someone in mind,” Hana says, trying not to blush. She looks over at Lena. She seems fairly enthusiastic about this, despite the fact that Hana for some reason had the idea she didn’t like her much. Looking back, there was no reason for her to think this, it was probably just self esteem issues.
“If you’re interested,” Amelie says. “If you want, summer could just be a test run for us, then if you decide poly isn’t for you, we break it off, no hard feelings.”
She has some doubts, but just a test run couldn’t be too bad, right?
“When did you guys break up with her?”
“About a month and a half ago,” Lena says. A little before Hana broke up with Sombra.
“Alright, I’ll try it.”
Both girls smile at her. “You’re going to love it,” Amelie says.
It’s almost the end of July. Sombra goes into the bathroom for her daily cutting. There are dark circles under her eyes from lack of sleep, with very little life behind them. She’s going pale due to barely leaving her room. Her chosen spot under her breast has gotten too scarred, so she instead cuts across her ribs, which she can see a little too prominently because she hasn’t been eating much. She slices, winces, bleeds, wipes herself down, and goes back to her room. She takes the bottle of wine from under her bed and drinks deeply, finishing it off. She tosses it in the recycling and goes down to get another.
There are more bottles, apparently Angela replenished her stash. She must be getting suspicious by how quickly they’re running out, but she hasn’t said anything yet. Sombra doubts she will. She brings it back into her room and hides it under her bed, and then sits down on top of it. Her room smells and so does she, but since she barely leaves she sees now point in showering anyway. There’s no one she wants to present herself to.
Meanwhile, across town, Hana and her new girlfriends lay happily in Amelie’s room. Amelie takes her bed, Hana sits in the cozy papasan chair, and Lena insists that she’s comfortable on the floor. Rock music flows from her speakers, and Hana’s finally content. Just like when she was with Sombra.
No. No. Don’t think about her.
Amelie’s parents pull out of the driveway, and Amelie quickly pulls something out from under her bed. Lena sits up excitedly. “Hana, do you smoke?”
“Once,” she says. She’s not sure if she wants to do it again, last time she got really upset afterwards.
Because of Sombra , she reminds herself. Amelie rolls the joint and pulls out a lighter. “Want to try again?”
Half an hour later and she’s breathing pure bliss. The music carries her up to heaven with the other girls, talking and laughing and just generally enjoying each other. Some sane, sober part of her mind draws comparisons to hanging out with Sombra, but it’s clouded out with bliss.
It's substance abuse time! It gets even more fucked when you remember that Hana, Lena, and Amelie are all freshmen who are dating 2 girls at once and getting stoned with them.
It’s the end of summer, and once again Hana’s trying to figure out what love is. She keeps the possibility that it doesn’t actually exist in the back of her mind, but doesn’t let it get in the way of her internal philosophical wanderings.
She goes into the unpleasant realm of her time with Sombra. Her body was filled with a hot desire that she hastily classifies as lust. She wanted to believe it was love at the time, but she refuses to accept that now.
She does not love Amelie and Lena. Yet. That’s important to remember, she could grow to like them. There’s definitely an affection there that she wants to hold on to.
Her body, though, still feels empty. The lava that consumed her when she was with Sombra is gone leaves an empty hole. Her feelings, whatever they may be, for the two girls feel like a tarp of warm contentedness covering the hole. The hole’s still there, but she can ignore it.
Amelie and Lena ask for her decision. She says she wants to stay with them. They hide their relationship again, not wanting to explain how three people date each other. They pretend to be friends in public, or at each other’s houses when their parents are home. In private, they hug and kiss and cuddle, delighted to be around each other in either case.
Sombra hears them regularly. Hana says she doesn’t know where she is most of the time, but she’s pretty sure she’s locked herself in her room. She doesn’t care, deep down she wants Sombra to hear, to force her to suffer silently for hurting her. Sombra sits on her bed, listening to the happiness of the girls downstairs, drinking or smoking whatever she could get her hands on that day.
For a while, Hana’s happy. Time goes by and she thinks less and less about what Sombra did to her. She can focus on her girls instead of just seething over her sister. Days go by where she doesn’t think about it at all. Before she knows it, it’s early November.
On the first Friday of the month, the fourth, she and Lena get a text from Amelie.
Amelie: You girls doing anything tonight?
Hana: I’m free
Lena: Why, did you want to grab dinner?
Amelie: Yes, dinner’s a good idea
Amelie: I was more thinking of something later though
Amelie: Something fun
Hana’s face flushes. Oh. Oh. Ok. Breathe, Hana. You don’t know what she’s talking about yet, it could be anything. Lots of things are fun.
Oh. My. God. Okay. Cool down, Hana, you’ve done this before. Nope, that just makes it worse. She can’t tell them that. How should she act? Like she knows what she’s doing or should she pretend to be completely clueless?
Amelie: Hana, are your parents going to be home tonight?
She checks her phone, half hoping they will and half hoping they won’t. According to the last convo she had with her mom earlier that week, they’d be leaving that evening and wouldn’t be back until Saturday night.
Amelie: How about your sister?
Hana: She shouldn’t be either.
Amelie: Empty house, perfect.
Lena: Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?
She was, indeed, suggesting what she thought she was suggesting. That evening, when Jack and Angela leave the the house and Sombra locked herself in her room with a case of beer, Hana leads her girlfriends into her room.
“You girls both sure you want to do this?” Amelie asks.
“Of course,” Hana says.
“You are too, right?” Lena asks.
“Sure am. Hm… how should we do this…” she looks between the girls and the bed. “Alright, Hana just had her birthday and mine’s not till spring, so… Lena! Lie down in the middle of the bed.”
“Alright,” she obliges.
“Why?” Hana asks.
“As far as I can tell, for foreplay at least, we’ll have to have two people focusing on one person, so I had to decide who it would be.” Amelie gets on the bed, and gestures for Hana to join her.
A couple minutes later, Hana and Lena are locked by their tongues and Amelie is kissing down the side of her neck. Hana can feel her soft moans against her lips, which stirs in her a desire to hear her moan louder and louder, to scream for her and Amelie.
Amelie’s hand sneaks up Lena’s shirt and up her flat stomach. She squeezes her breast over the bra, then lifts her shirt up to above her breasts. Hana can feel the excitement welling up in the other girl as Amelie deftly unclasps her bra.
“Oh, Lena, they’re beautiful!” she exclaims. Hana pulls away and Lena turns the pale red of excited embarrassment. “And look, Hana,” she smirks. “One for each of us.” She immediately starts kissing down her chest until she reaches her breast. Hana takes a second to admire Lena’s face. She’s clearly embarrassed, but she’s enjoying every second of it.
“You’re cute,” Hana says. She smiles at her and kisses her before dipping down and taking her breast in her mouth. She moans from the stimulation, feeling blossoms of pleasure rise through her chest. Amelie, insatiable, only spends a couple seconds on her breast, and starts leaving a trail of kisses down her stomach. Hana takes the neglected breast in her other hand and traces her fingers around her areola.
Amelie unbuttons Lena’s jeans and grabs them by the waist, pulling them down her legs, kissing her thighs and calves on the way down. Amelie can’t help but develop a devilish grin as she slides her fingers into the waistband of her panties.
“Wait, this isn’t fair,” Lena says, a little short on breath. “You’re both fully clothed.”
Amelie looks up and grins. “Yeah, Hana, you wanna fix that?”
She pulls herself away from her breast. “Glad to.” She stands up and pulls her shirt off, exposing her slim frame and narrow shoulders, then goes for her pants. Both girls look on, excited, Amelie a bit cooler than Lena. She unclasps her bra and holds it in place, slowly lowering it down her modest bust. It eventually falls away to cheers from her girlfriends.
“Your turn, Amelie.” She sits down next to Lena and kisses her on the cheek.
“Excellent.” She starts with her pants, showing off her long, toned legs. She starts to lift up her shirt, but quickly drops it back down and instead takes off her panties. Hana and Lena’s eyes widen and Amelie smirks and frames her shaved crotch with her fingers, thrusting it out slightly. “Wanna touch it? Go ahead.”
Hana lifts her arm and extends her fingers, grazing over the wet skin. Amelie steps closer to Hana, allowing her a better angle. Hana’s fingers dance cautiously around her entrance as she removes her shirt and bra.
“Okay, I think I’ve got a plan. Hana, you know what scissoring is, right?”
“Perfect. You and I can do that and I’ll eat out Lena, that way we’re all getting pleasured. Sound good?”
She lays down on the bed as Lena takes off her panties. She reaches up to give her butt a tight squeeze, then helps position her so she’s sitting on her face. Hana also takes off her panties, then climbs onto Amelie. She slides one leg under hers and the other one over, then slowly starts grinding against her. She looks up at Lena, who’s breathing heavily and starting to moan. She reaches over and puts one arm on her shoulder to steady herself, then presses their lips together before sliding her tongue into hers.
Against the adjoining wall, Sombra sits on her bed, eyes bloodshot and puffy. The noises, hearing other people pleasure the girl she loves, bother her greatly, but she can’t summon the energy to retrieve a pair of headphones. She sits almost perfectly still, cradling an almost empty bottle of the worst wine she’s ever tasted, listening to the results of her greatest fuckup, wishing it were her instead of them.
“That was perfect,” Lena says, smiling at the ceiling. Hana ended up between the two girls and she’s loving it, both of their arms around her, both of their bodies radiating their warmth and afterglow onto her. She kisses both of them.
“We can stay the night, right? Your parents won’t be home?” Lena asks.
“Not until tomorrow,” she smiles. “We don’t have to leave the bed for hours.”
“Man, not having your parents around is awesome,” Amelie says. Hana wants to correct her, but at the moment she has to agree.
It’s January. Sombra’s spending yet another Saturday moping in her room with her mother’s alcohol, when she hears a knocking at her door. Before she can hide the drink, it opens, and Angela walks in. Sombra can barely manage to look worried.
“What are you doing with this?”
“Took you long enough to notice,” she grumbles, handing the bottle to her and awaiting some kind of punishment or yelling.
She takes back the bottle. “I didn’t ask how long it’s been going on, although it’s been since late spring, if my memory serves. I asked what you were doing with it.”
“A bottle every week and a half for months?”
“Something like that.”
She’s tempted to lie, but can’t. “I hurt Hana.”
“I wondered why you weren’t talking. What happened?”
Sombra’s caught off guard. She’s not used to her mom being… a mom. “I… can’t talk about it. If you knew I was doing this since May, why did it take you this long to do anything about it?”
She sighs. “I didn’t know what to do. I was afraid to.”
“Afraid of what?”
Her eyes become misty and faraway. “We both adopted you, both when I was… very young, and when you were babies your father did most of the work raising you, and we both thought of you more as his than ours,” she says, starting to choke up. She sniffles. “He really started to get that idea, and didn’t like it when I took charge with anything involving you two, he’d get mad when I did—”
“He didn’t hurt you, did he??”
“No, no, never that… God, I can’t get into this with you. Look at you, you’re drinking , you won’t eat, I’ve been worried sick for months and I’ve been too scared to do anything until now!”
“Mom… you know dad’s cheating on you, right?”
She nods distantly. “Yes. I know.” Suddenly, she comes to, shaking her head. “No. No, I need to focus on getting you better. Come on, get dressed. You need to eat something.”
“Where are we going?”
“Wherever you want, we need to get you out of the house and fed. I’ve been the worst parent for years—”
“Dad’s been the worst parent.”
“And it’s time to fix that. I can’t undo what I’ve done but I can try to make it up to you. Come on.”
Well, that took entirely too long. Worth it? Probably not, I still wrote most of it in like two nights, but I hope you enjoyed regardless. Especially now that it's going to be a lot happier (probably...) from here on out!
Chapter 12: The apart, part 3
Well, this took entirely too long, but I hope it's worth it.
Removed chapter 12 "restart or nah"
On that chapter everyone recommended rewriting the end of the last chapter, so that section is removed entirely and expanded on in this chapter
Nothing's been added to the last chapter, so if you read it before I edited it there's no need to go back
Hope you enjoy
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It’s still January, less than a week later. Angela’s been doing her best to keep Sombra fed and to make sure she goes outside at least once per day. She’s also been making sure she’s drinking less each day, she’s not happy about it but she doesn’t want any risk of her going into withdrawal.
Of course, Angela can’t help what she doesn’t know about, so Sombra still scars herself daily, ruining herself so no one will even want to look at her with her shirt off. She no longer tells herself it’s for penance or forgiveness, she’s long past that. She has to ruin herself like she ruined Hana.
She jumps as the door opens suddenly one day during her mutilation. She turns to see Hana standing in the doorway with shock frozen on her face. They stare at each other, both too afraid to speak.
“W-what the hell are you doing?” Hana demands.
“But… what?” The image of the blood dripping down her sister’s concave stomach burns into her mind.
“You know what.”
“I… I don’t…”
“Yell at me.”
“There are so many things I wish I could say to the people who cheated on me. Now’s your chance. Let me have it.” She doesn’t say anything, just stands there, half frozen. “Anything. Just scream and vent at me. There’s no way you don’t want to.”
Hana’s suddenly aware that she’s starting to cry. She sniffles. “You said you loved me.”
She shakes her head. “You can’t have. You lied to me, used me—”
“I never used you.”
“Yes you did! For months!” Tears flow freely now. Sombra shakes her head. “Stop! You did! You said you loved me,” she sobs, “you made me think I loved you , and once you were done with me you just went to someone else!”
“That’s not how—”
She takes a deep breath. “I went to his house… we got high… he made a move on me, and it was familiar, so… I went with it for a couple minutes, then came to my senses.”
“You wouldn’t do that to me if you loved me.”
“But I do.”
“Stop it! You don’t! And if this is just some sick, twisted way of trying to prove it, then stop !!!” She’s wailing at this point, tears and mucus spilling onto her bright red face.
“I told you. It’s for punishment. I needed to hurt myself as badly as I hurt you.”
“Because I lo—”
“YOU DON’T!!” She shrieks, running away from the bathroom. Sombra’s heart breaks again, and she feels like she’s about to cry herself.
“You alright, Hana?” Lena asks.
“You’ve seemed really out of it all day, we wanted to make sure you’re alright,” Amelie says.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I just haven’t been sleeping.” That’s not technically false, she didn’t manage to get to sleep last night after her confrontation with Sombra. Both girls, though, know she’s not telling them everything.
“Come on Hana, you know you can tell us everything.”
She shakes her head. The emotions from yesterday bubble under the surface and threaten to spill over.
“Hana, you’re clearly upset. I hate seeing you like this,” Amelie says. “Who’s doing this to you?”
“Sombra,” she whispers.
“Still? You’ve been mad at her since the summer,” Lena says. “She didn’t do something else, did she?”
She nods, tears threatening to spill over. Concern immediately creases her girlfriends’ faces. “Come here,” Lena says. Hana sits on her lap and Amelie lets her rest her feet on her legs. “It’s okay.” Lena rubs her back and Amelie runs her fingers through her hair.
“I know you don’t want to talk about it,” Amelie says. “But you always can.”
Hana feels terrible almost bawling in front of them, but they make her feel a little better. “It’ll be okay, love. Whatever happened, I’m sure it’ll be over soon.”
Hana shakes her head into her shoulder, but doesn’t say anything.
Next Monday, Lena sees Sombra in the library. She sits with a hood pulled over her, staring at the ground, almost comatose. I shouldn’t go over there , she thinks to herself. She starts going over there. I should turn into this aisle instead . She doesn’t turn.
I really shouldn’t talk to her. “Hey.”
She looks up, slightly dazed. It doesn’t occur to her to say anything.
“Are you drunk?” she whispers, although she fails to fully grasp the concept of a whisper.
“Whatever. Look, I don’t know what you did to Hana, but she’s been upset for months , and it has to be bad because she won’t tell us.”
“You know ?”
“Of course. I live with her. I know how badly I hurt her, but there’s nothing I can do to make it up to her. I’m just staying out of her way until I can go to college. Then she never has to see me again if she wants.”
Lena’s at a total loss for words. She expected her to defend herself or try to justify whatever she did, but she’s shockingly serious and pensive.
“You can yell at me if you want.”
How the fuck is this happening? She came over to get mad at her but now she just feels bad for her. Without saying anything else, she turns around and walks away.
Lena: I might have done a bad thing
Amelie: What happened?
Lena: I saw Sombra in the library this morning and for some reason I went to go talk to her
Amelie: What did you say??
Lena: I told her that Hana was really upset and I felt like I was about to start ranting
Lena: But then she said she knew and she seemed to really regret it
Lena: She even said that once she graduates Hana never has to see her again if she wants
Lena: And also she was hungover
Amelie: Let’s talk during precalc
The three girls sit in Hana’s bed, leaning against the wall she shares with Sombra. Sombra leans against the same wall, her fingers twitching for the bottle of rum stashed under her bed, but she resists the urge. She promised her mom and herself she wouldn’t drink unless she felt like she was about to go into withdrawal.
“Ok, if you want to stop talking about this, just tell us to stop and we won’t bring it up again,” Amelie says. Hana looks at her with a little trepidation. “But we think it’s important so we wanted to bring it up.”
“If you never ever want to tell us what Sombra did to you, that’s fine. You don’t have to,” Lena says. Under the blanket, Hana clenches her fists and her arms tense out of frustration. “But she’s your sister and you’ve been mad at her for over half a year at this point. My brothers can be shitheads sometimes, but I can’t imagine not speaking to them for that long.”
Hana doesn’t say anything. She stares unmovingly at the wall. “Okay, can I just make a suggestion?” Amelie asks. She doesn’t answer. She’s too busy remembering walking in on her bloodied in the bathroom. “Try writing a letter to her. Don’t actually give it to her, don’t show it to anyone, just write it and then throw it away.”
Again, she doesn’t respond. Lena and Amelie silently agree to leave the matter alone, and she starts to open up when they change the topic.
I shouldn’t go down here , Sombra thinks to herself as she walks down the stairs. I should just go back upstairs and sleep. She keeps walking down the stairs. It’s probably not even here, anyway. She squints through the darkness as she looks at the pile of recycling. See? Not here. She probably tore it up, if she did it at all. She digs through the pile of recycling. She finds the letter. I should really tear this thing up. She turns the light on and reads it.
I hate you. I hate you so much. For fourteen years I looked up to you and trusted you. I can’t forgive you for this. You were the one person I thought could never hurt me like this. Now it feels like there’s nowhere safe. You were my only shelter, and you used the opportunity to destroy me.
I guess I should thank you, though, for teaching me that love isn’t real. At least I won’t believe in it and get hurt again, not that it could get worse than this. You taught me that whatever I do or will feel for Amelie and Lena won’t be love. At least I won’t hurt them and they won’t hurt me by believing.
I can’t wait until you go to college, and I bet you can’t either. You can fuck all the old boyfriends you want there, and I’ll be all the way back here, out of sight, out of mind. So go fucking crazy. Back an entire frat house for all I care. The next sentence is crossed out.
And stop cutting yourself, freak. It won’t make me forgive you. Nothing will. I won’t forgive you when you fucking die, so just hide out in your room until you can leave forever.
She crumples up the letter. The same emptiness she felt for months consumes her again. She opens the cabinet and finds the first drink she can get her hands on, a bottle of old scotch. She opens it and starts drinking, ignoring the burning in her throat.
Angela sits up in bed when she hears glass breaking downstairs. She’s alone, Jack’s more than likely at the Amari residence, and she sprints downstairs to find her daughter passed out on the floor, convulsing slightly, her face and arms cut by pieces of a shattered bottle of scotch that lies on the floor next to her. She feels her skin, it’s cold. Sombra coughs up vomit as her mother calls an ambulance.
When it arrives, she wakes up Hana. “Hana, come. Sombra hurt herself, we’re going to the emergency room.”
She hops out of bed and goes downstairs. She sees paramedics carrying her sister out of the house. Her sister, who made her feel safe when her parents fought. Her sister, who cheered her up whenever she failed a test. Her sister, who taught her how to love.
She freezes. “I won’t forgive you when you fucking die” echoes in her head. I didn’t mean it! she wails internally, feeling like she’s about to cry. She jogs after her mother to the car. Please, I didn’t mean it!
Chapter 13: Hospitalized
“I shouldn’t have let this go on so long,” Angela says. Hana wants to tell her that it’s not her fault, and in a way it isn’t, but in a way it is.
Of course, she blames herself too. Although she has no way of knowing, she’s certain that Sombra read her note right before getting drunk again. That was the eye opener she needed. She couldn’t be mad at her anymore. A couple hours before, she truly thought that she wouldn’t ever forgive her, but if she died in the hospital without her ever getting to talk to her again… she doesn’t want to think about that. Can’t think about that.
She follows her mother into the hospital room and freezes at the sight. Her eyes are closed and she’s barely moving, and for a second she’s certain she’s dead. Then she sees her shallow breathing slightly shifting the blanket, and feels just a little bit better, but not much. Sombra’s skin is pale and her lips are blue, and she’s hooked up to an IV machine.
When they approach her, her eyes open a little and she looks at them. “Hey,” she breathes.
“Sombra—” Hana starts.
“Mrs. Morrison, can we talk now or would you like a minute?” A doctor asks.
“I’ll leave you girls alone,” she says, and follows him outside.
“I’m so sorry!” Hana blurts, feeling herself about to cry again.
“Hey, hey, don’t cry. I’m the fuckup here. You didn’t do anything.”
“You read the letter, didn’t you?” she sniffles.
“Yeah. I shouldn’t have, I just couldn’t help myself.”
“That’s not— it’s not— I thought I felt that way but I don’t, I’m so sorry, if you… if you…”
“Come here,” she pulls her into an awkward one-armed hug as she sobs into her. “You have nothing to apologize for. Me, on the other hand…” she takes a deep breath as Hana pulls away. “I’m sorry I talked you into this in the first place. I’m sorry I cheated on you. I’m sorry I didn’t try to reach out to you all those months. I’m sorry you saw me cutting. I’m sorry I read the letter. And I’m sorry we’re here now.”
“I forgive you,” she says almost immediately.
“You don’t have to.”
“No, I do, I do, I don’t want to hate you anymore. I want to be your sister again.” Sombra pulls her back into a hug, rubbing her back. She holds her for a few seconds, listening to her breathing interrupted by sniffling. “Just… promise me you won’t cut or drink anymore.”
“Never again. I don’t have to.”
“And, um… don’t be sorry for talking me into anything. When it worked, I was really happy then.”
“I was too.”
“Because I…” before she can finish, they hear yelling and stomping from outside. “Oh no,” Hana says. The door bursts open.
“You!” Jack Morrison shouts at his daughter. “I cannot believe you did this? What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how much trouble you’re in? God, I leave the house for—”
“Oh my God, shut up !” Hana interrupts. She’s suddenly terrified when she realizes that she said that out loud. Sombra turns to her in disbelief, as does her father.
“I said shut up ! This has been going on for months, you only care now because now it’s costing you money!”
“How dare —”
“Whatever, dad, just go back to your girlfriend’s house. Mom’s got it taken care of.”
“Your mother?? Your mother can’t take care of anything! She practically begged me to come over here and get this taken care of for her. You’d better fix your attitude quick, you wouldn’t even be here now if it weren’t for me—”
“Yeah, if we had a healthy father-daughter relationship with you, we wouldn’t be in a hospital for alcohol troubles. We’d probably be hanging out having game night or something.”
“You don’t ever talk to me like that. When did this start?”
“I dunno, maybe if you were around more you’d have been keeping track.”
“Young lady, that was—”
“Hey, dad?” Sombra says. “Sorry to interrupt, but mom’s been standing behind you for the past two minutes or so.”
Both Hana and her dad’s faces develop two very different “oh shit” expressions. Hana couldn’t see her mom behind Jack, until he turns around and she’s staring up almost insolently at him.
“If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to talk to my daughters.”
“Yeah, fuck off, Jack.”
“Hana,” her mom warns.
“Just go back to Mrs. Amari’s. I’m sure she’s missing you,” Sombra says.
His face goes red, then pale, then purple, then he storms out. Angela watches him go.
“Hana, that was awesome,” Sombra says.
“That was the scariest thing I’ve ever done,” she manages, her voice shaky.
“I really missed you,” Sombra says.
“You too,” she replies.
Chapter 14: Discovered
TW: Homophobic language, racial slurs, misogynistic comments. Man, that character's a DICK.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
The day Sombra gets out of the hospital, Hana doesn’t leave her side. She tells her about her girlfriends (and swears her to secrecy) and about the new games they’re playing and about every little thing that’s been happening. Sombra enjoys every minute. It’s the first time in months she’s been happy, and the first time Hana hasn’t had seeds of a grudge eating away at her. The sunlight seems brighter and the air fresher.
That night, Sombra gets off for the first time in months. She remembers her first time with Hana, teaching her how to kiss, touching her breasts, undressing her, the electricity, deflowering her. She focuses on how beautiful she looked, tries to remember how she sounded. She softly rubs between her legs, feeling the long-lost heat finally return to its rightful place. Hana can’t be with her anymore, but there’s no shame in a little fantasy.
The image of her beautiful sister after they’d first had sex, flush-faced, sweaty, and glowing, is burned into her mind. She calls it up, remembering the heat and love radiating from her. She can’t hold in her moans as the long-closed floodgates burst open and lost pleasure consumes her.
She lies on her bed for a couple seconds, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling. After a minute, she dives back in.
Hana lies in her bed, listening to her suppressed moans. She smiles a little, briefly debates playing with herself as well, but decides just to go to sleep.
It’s a Saturday in late February. Snow gently powders the roof outside Lena’s bedroom, where three girls kiss and cuddle, innocent pecks on the lips leading to hungrier open-mouth kisses. Lena sits between her girlfriends, tongue entwined with Hana’s as Amelie kisses down her neck and shoulder. She giggles into her mouth as fingers dance up her stomach to reach her bra. Another pair of hands reach around to cup her ass.
Another hand reaches around the doorknob. Thomas Oxton arrives to investigate the noise coming from his daughter’s room.
The girls freeze when the door swings open. Their faces retract from each other, but their hands remain in a very compromising position.
“GOD ALMIGHTY!” he roars. “Lena Oxton, I thought we raised you better than this! I cannot believe that such a horrible display of faggotry ” Hana flinches “is happening in my own house! What do you have to say for yourselves? All of you!”
“You girls had best get out of my sight immediately. Lena, there’s only one thing I can think to do with you. Come with me.”
Color drains from her face. Before she knows it, Hana grabs her hand and sprints towards the door. Amelie’s close in tow.
“Hey! Get back here! NOW !” He roars. As if in a trance, Lena stumbles out the door and into the snow. Hana drags her all the way to main street, Amelie running after them. The cold air and snow bites at them, and their faces are bright read by the time Hana manages to lead them into the same cafe she’d seen them in over the summer.
As soon as they’re sure they’re safe, Lena bursts into tears. Amelie and Hana take her to a side table where they’ll be ignored. Hana justs holds her hand tightly while Amelie rubs her back.
“I can’t go back,” she whispers. “Even if he lets me back in, I won’t… he’ll.”
“Shh,” Hana whispers. “Don’t worry about it now. He’s not chasing us, let’s just crash at my place for a little while and we can figure out what to do.”
Lena sniffles. “Okay.”
A couple minutes later, Sombra’s there to pick them up. They pile in her car and she takes them back. She has enough sense not to ask what happens, so she drives them back in near silence. She and Hana exchange worried glances at stop signs and red lights.
“Cocoa?” she asks.
“Oh God, please,” Hana answers.
“Damn, one family issue goes away and another one shows up,” Amelie says.
“Oh shit…” Lena whispers. “You guys came out to your parents right?”
“Couple months ago.”
“Yeah, why?” Hana asks.
Lena goes pale again as the phone starts to ring. “Well, if you didn’t, you’d have about five seconds to.”
The ringing stops as Angela picks up the phone upstairs. The house falls dead silent as the four girls try to listen. “Hello? I’m sorry, who is this? I have no idea… excuse me ? NO, YOU LISTEN! DO NOT TALK ABOUT MY DAUGHTERS THAT WAY, EVER ! I DON’T CARE WHAT— IF YOU DO NOT HANG UP RIGHT NOW— WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?! ”
“Holy shit,” Lena whispers. They hear a slam, and then twelve stomps as Angela storms down the stairs.
“Mom?” Hana asks. She pays no attention and stalks through the living room, slamming the door behind her. They watch in shock as the car screeches out of the driveway.
Sombra appears with two mugs of hot chocolate, which she hands to Hana and Lena. “Okay, what the fuck happened?”
“Um…” Hana starts. Sombra leaves and returns with a cup for her and one for Amelie. The girls look around at each other, trying to figure out what to say.
“Okay, I’ll go upstairs for a minute so you can talk amongst yourselves,” Sombra says. She retreats up the stairs.
“We can tell her, if you guys want,” Hana says, pretending she doesn’t already know they’re a triad.
“It’s not like we can really hide anymore,” Lena mumbles.
“I’m fine with it if you are, but two weeks ago you weren’t even speaking, now you want to share this big a secret?”
She shrugs. “It’s a sisters thing, I guess. Let’s go for it. Sombra!”
She jogs back down the stairs. “Yes?”
“Okay, so I’ve, uh, been dating Amelie and Lena here for a couple months—”
“Like, both of them?”
“So we were all hanging in Lena’s room when her dad came in, and it turns out that’s a terrible way to get out of the closet, because he got mad and started screaming, so we ran away.”
“Do you think that was him on the phone with mom?”
“What do you think he said?”
“Probably called me some pretty terrible things and… oh god, probably told her the three of us were together.”
“Just drink your chocolate. All three of you. Can’t do anything about it now.”
Angela can’t remember the last time she’s been this angry. Not when her father refused to pay for her to go to college to get a PhD, not when she’d found out Jack was cheating on her. Even when she’d had suspicions about Sombra and her drinking, she wasn’t as angry as she was scared.
Hello, is this the mother of the girl who defiled my daughter? She has to slam on the breaks to stop from running a red light. That spic you adopted’s a whore, and I’m sure she corrupted the other one. When she parks outside the store, she slams the door shut. She can barely manage to be polite to the cashier who rings her up. You should be ashamed , she squeals out of the parking lot to have raised a pair of faggots like that. She’s overcome with the temptation to hit his mailbox, but stops herself.
She pounds on his door. He opens it.
“Oh, it’s you. What do you want?”
“I was just driving by. Noticed this is quite a big house you’ve got here.”
“Yes, I suppose it is.”
“It makes sense, I guess, that a pharmacist could afford such a big house. But those cars? And the beach house too? All while raising a child by yourself?”
“Make your point.”
“I will. Putting up posters about the opioid epidemic doesn’t come close to all you’re doing to contribute to it.”
“ Don’t touch me,” she warns. “If you don’t want this to go public, you won’t call my house, you will not call the LaCroix house, you will not talk to Hana or Amelie. And I swear to God, if a hear a whisper about anything happening to your daughter…”
“What? You’ll do what? No one’s going to believe you.”
“I suppose not,” she says. She pulls her purchase out of her coat pocket: a small microphone connected to a recorder. “But they’ll believe you. Have a good night, Mister Oxton.” She turns away and walks back to her car.
Hana, Lena, and Amelie share one of the chairs, while Sombra sits in the other. They sip the dregs of their cocoa while watching whatever cheesy movie they could find on Netflix. They all jolt when Angela opens the door.
“Where’d you go?” Hana asks.
“Just had some business to attend to, don’t worry. Lena, would you like to spend the night?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t worry too much about your father, though, but you can stay here for a little if you’re worried.”
“Mom, what did you do?” Sombra asks.
“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Text me a list of what you all want from the Chinese place and I’ll order it.” She walks upstairs.
“Hana, can your mom adopt me?” Lena asks.
“Eww, then you couldn’t date anymore,” Amelie says, smiling.
“I mean, we could ,” Lena says.
“Let’s just stop,” Hana says.
Hours later, Hana and Lena sleep in Hana’s bed, snuggled under the covers, hands clasped together, their warmth protecting each other from the cold night.
Man Lena's dad is a D I C K
The next morning, Hana and Lena eat breakfast in the living room, cuddled up under a thick blanket. Hana wishes they could lay like that forever. Lena wishes Amelie was there.
“You were awesome yesterday,” Lena says.
“Amelie and I were just frozen, you dragged us out of there. It was awesome.”
She kisses the top of her head. “Can’t imagine what would’ve happened if I didn’t.”
Lena shakes her head. “God… I never came out to him because I knew he wouldn’t like it, I never imagined he would be that angry about it…”
“It might’ve had something to do with how he found out.”
A couple minutes later, there’s a hard knocking on the door. The girls look sadly at it, knowing exactly who it is. Hana wraps her arms protectively around her girlfriend, who snuggles closer into her.
Angela stalks to the door, opening it to reveal Thomas Oxton. “I’m here for my daughter,” he says.
Angela turns to her, wordlessly asking if she wants to go. Hana and Lena are chilled by the hateful glare boring into them. Hana’s arms are wrapped tightly around her under the blanket, but they fall away as Lena pushes herself up and stands.
“Take my sweatshirt,” Hana says, pointing to it. She’d run from her house in a t-shirt and jeans, leaving her own in her room.
“Thanks.” She puts on the pink hoodie. It smells like Hana.
“It was nice having you, Lena,” Angela says. “You’re welcome back anytime.”
“I wouldn’t count on it,” Thomas growls.
“ If anything happens, tell me, Hana, or Sombra ,” Angela whispers. Lena nods slightly, then marches outside with her father. Hana goes to the window and watches nervously as the car pulls away. Her mother places her hand gently on her shoulder.
“Is- is she gonna be ok?” Hana asks.
“We can only hope.”
“No. He won’t do anything. I made sure of it.”
Neither Hana or Amelie hear from Lena all weekend, and when they see her on Monday she looks like a zombie. They run over to make sure she’s ok.
“I-- I’m moving,” she says, talking as if she’s still in disbelief.
“What?” Amelie asks.
“Dad’s making us move to Alabama.”
“Uh-huh,” she says, starting to tear up. “I can’t— I can’t— I’ve lived here forever, I can’t just…”
The girls embrace her. “When?” Hana asks.
“ This Friday?”
The bell to signify the start of classes rings. The girls sadly pull apart from each other and go to their respective classes. After school, when they’re planning on going to Amelie’s house, Lena’s dad drives by, glares at them, and picks his daughter up to drive her home. Hana still goes to Amelie’s house, but both girls wish Lena could be there.
It’s Friday morning, and Angela’s once again alone in the house. Her husband’s been home a few times since Sombra’s been hospitalized, mostly to pick up a few things and once to try to talk to the girls, but at the moment they’re informally separated. That’s fine with Angela. In the process of loading up her computer for the online business course she’s taking, she gets a text from her daughter.
Hana: Lena just texted “I’m running” and won’t reply to Amelie and I
Hana: She’s not in school either
Hana: Can you call her and make sure she’s ok? Her number’s 524-2016
Angela: On it.
“Lena? It’s Hana’s mom. Hana gave me your number, I hope you don’t mind.”
“Nope, it’s fine.”
“She wanted me to call because you’re not replying her and she’s worried.”
“She shouldn’t be. I’m fine.”
“Where are you going?”
“A couple miles north.”
“Lena, you’ll freeze!”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Just come here, I’ll drive you.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. I can’t let you walk over there alone.”
A couple minutes later, she sees Lena going up the front walk. She runs to open the door for her.
“Thank you.” Her cheeks and nose are already red.
“Need anything before we leave?”
She wants to see Hana and Amelie one more time, but she knows her dad’s already gotten the call that she’s not in school, and she’s sure he’ll look for her here.
She gives her the address. “I’m ready to go.”
Lena: I’m running
Hana: Are you running away?
Hana: You’re not here
Amelie: Oh my god, you’re running away
Amelie: Where are you?
Hana: I’m having my mom call you if you don’t answer
Hana: She’s calling
Lena: Sorry about that
Lena: Your mom’s giving me a ride
Amelie: Don’t do this to us, Lena! We were worried!
Hana: Where are you going?
Lena: Up to my mom’s parents house
Lena: It’s still a couple miles away, but it’s better than Alabama
Hana: You’re… already leaving?
Lena: Didn’t have a choice. It was either leave now or risk Alabama
Lena: I know
Lena: I’ll make sure to get down soon to have a formal goodbye
It’s mid-March, and Lena hasn’t been able to come down and visit them yet. They text a lot, but words on a screen can’t fill the hole she left. Amelie’s just upset, but Hana’s resorted to blaming Lena’s dad and hating him. She wants to go down and throw rocks at his empty house.
Amelie and Hana have been talking less and less. They’ve only gone on two dates in the weeks that Lena’s been gone, both filled with swathes of awkward silence. They haven’t had sex once. Hana longs for Lena to come back, but she never does.
Further north, Lena continues to wear Hana’s sweatshirt, even when it’s warm out. She laments that it doesn’t smell like her any more.
It’s the beginning of April, and on the way to bed, Sombra hears muffled crying from Hana’s room. She knocks softly, then opens the door. “Hana?”
She’s lying on the bed, computer open next to her, face buried in a pillow. She shakes arrhythmically with her sobs, which she can hear despite the cloth covering her face.
“Hana, what’s wrong?” She sits next to her on the bed and places a gentle hand on her back, moving it in slow circles. Hana looks up for a second, revealing her tear streaked red face, and points in the general direction of her computer. Sombra looks through the messenger window open on her computer.
3/22, 12 AM
Amelie: Haha yeah
Amelie: Fuck, it’s midnight already?
Lena: Looks like it
Lena: Pretty sure Hana already passed out lol
Amelie: Probably lol
Amelie: I should go to bed soon, talk to you later
4/2, 10:11 PM
Amelie: Shit, it’s been like two weeks since we’ve all talked
Hana: Guess so :/
Amelie: Fuck, I didn’t want to do this
Lena: Jesus, she’s been typing for like five minutes
Hana: Are you ok?
Amelie: Trying to figure out how to word this
Amelie: Give me a second
Lena: It’s a bee lol
Lena: Damn, still typing?
Amelie: It hasn’t been the same since Lena left. I know it’s not your fault, you had no choice, but not having you here just sucks for all of us. I don’t know about you two, but for me our relationship isn’t “fun” anymore. It was when we could see each other every day and spend every free minute together, and even when we can all talk together it’s not nearly as happy as it was back when we were all together. The closeness just isn’t there. Even Hana seems more distant, and I know it isn’t your fault, but again, the closeness just isn’t there anymore. I don’t think I can do this any longer.
Amelie: I’m sorry.
Amelie has left group Two Fae and a Unicorn
Lena: I don’t even
Lena: We should talk
Hana: Later, definitely
Hana: I think I just need to cry for a little bit right now
Lena: I understand
Lena: Talk to me once you’re feeling up to it
She also has a few DMs from Amelie, but she decides not to check those.
“Hana… I’m so sorry. Can I do anything?”
“Just… stay with me. I need someone here.” She wishes Lena could be here, but her sister’s more than suitable at the moment. Sombra closes her laptop and crawls under the covers with her.
“Cuddle?” Hana nods. Sombra wraps an arm around her and pulls her close.
Fuck, I made her feel this way once , she realizes, and immediately feels like shit. Probably worse. “I’m sorry,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry. For everything.”
“It’s… it’s my fault,” Hana manages in a croaky, tear-stained voice. “I wasn’t going out with her enough, I didn’t—”
“No. Don’t think like that. You did what you could and it didn’t work. It’s her loss, no one should leave a wonderful girl like you.”
Ouch. It takes her a second to recover from that. “So I know better than anyone. Biggest mistake of my life.” She’s quiet for a second. “Sure you don’t want to be alone?”
“Please stay. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t—”
“Hey, I’m not leaving you again unless you want me to. No need to apologize.”
It’s quiet for a couple seconds, but suddenly Hana bursts into tears. Sombra knows the cycle all too well, a few seconds of empty nothingness punctuated by pain. She holds her tight until she finally cries herself to sleep.
Hmm... next chapter happens next day, or skip a few months into the future? Decisions, decisions.
Lena: Afternoon, actually
Hana: Shit I have a dozen messages from Amelie
Hana: I just can’t right now
Lena: She messaged me a couple times too.
Lena: One sec
Lena sent a screenshot
Amelie: You’re not mad, are you?
Amelie: Please tell me you’re not mad
Lena: Don’t know yet
Amelie: I really didn’t want to hurt you
Amelie: Either of you
Amelie: I just couldn’t do it anymore
4/3, 12:22 AM
Lena: I just don’t even know how I feel atm
Lena: I need to see you.
Hana: I want to see you too
Hana: We’re still together, right?
Lena: Of course we are!
Lena: I think we need each other more than ever right now
Hana: I really need to see you soon
Hana: Okay, I’m gonna check the messages from Amelie now
She switches windows.
Amelie: You’re not mad, are you?
Amelie: Please tell me you’re not mad
Amelie: Are you there?
Amelie: Please, I need to know you’re ok
She wishes she’d been there to tell her off. Of course she wasn’t ok. The last year’s been simultaneously the best and worst in her life. No one would be ok being picked up and dropped like that.
Amelie: You’re not crying, are you?
Amelie: Fuck, it always hurt when you cried
Amelie: Please tell me I didn’t make you cry
Fuck off Amelie, of course she was crying.
4/3, 12:22 AM
Amelie: I really hope you don’t hate me
Amelie: If you do, I understand
Amelie: But I really hope you don’t
Her fingers rest on the keyboard, but a response doesn’t come. She closes her computer and walks downstairs. There’s a note on the table in messy purple handwiritng.
Hey! Hope you’re feeling a little better. I wanted to stay until you woke up, but I was getting kinda restless, you were sleeping kinda late. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I totally get it, but I had to get up. Try again tonight/tomorrow, maybe?
Alright, back now. Looks like you’re still asleep :/ Anyway, I ran and got a bunch of stuff for you. It’s in that box over there —>. Check it out!
Did you like it? I’ll be home soon and once I’m back we can do whatever you want or need!
She opens the box. On top is a plain white container. When she opens it, it’s full of chocolate covered graham crackers and pretzels. There’s also an index card with the purple scrawl on it. I remember these were always your favorite back before the chocolate shop moved out of town. If they’re not what you remember I’ll go out and find another one.
Despite her nonexistent appetite, she bites into one of the pretzels. She remembers seven years ago on a warm summer’s day sitting outside the chocolate shop happily stuffing her face with chocolate outside the old shop. She puts the lid back on to save them for later. Below the chocolates is a coloring book.
I don’t know if you’re into this kind of thing, but apparently it’s a good way to destress and kind of… lose yourself, I guess. Worth a shot probably. Next to the coloring book is a box of colored pencils. You thought I’d forget these, didn’t you? (I totally forgot these. Had to run back and get them.)
Next up is a box of tissues. Hate to see you cry, but there’s nothing I can do to stop it, so this is the next best thing, I guess. After the tissues is a piece of paper. The text on this is printed, but still purple. Made you a mixtape. But we life in the 21st century, so it’s a QR code that takes you to spotify.
She peeks into the box one last time. “No way…” It’s a pink and purple stuffed bunny, one of the original eyes replaced by a button after it fell and with a sizable grass stain on its back. Look who I found!
She holds the bunny up to her face. It smells like the basement, but the fur is still soft. She can’t help but smile. She takes the box into the living room, and curls up under a blanket.
When Sombra comes home half an hour later, Hana’s sitting on the couch with the bunny in her lap and the coloring book on her knees.
“I love it. Thank you so much.”
“Anything to make you feel better.”
“Sit with me?” Hana offers.
“Course. Just a second.”
She retreats into the kitchen and returns with a quart of Ben and Jerry’s and two spoons. “Picked this up too, didn’t want it melting in the box though.”
“I love you.”
She crawls under the blanket with Hana, and licks the ice cream off the bottom of the lid while Hana attacks it with a spoon. “Need anything else?”
“Nope, you got everything covered.”
“Okay, just let me know.”
Sombra turns on Netflix and flicks on a dumb early-00s sitcom. The two girls cuddle up to each other and the tub of ice cream. They don’t talk, but their presence is enough to comfort each other. Hana entwines her legs around Sombra’s keeping them both locked in place. Sombra has no issues with that, she doesn’t want to get up anyway.
It’s the middle of April. Amelie’s tried to reach out to Hana a few times, but she avoids her. They keep their distance during school, doing their best not to acknowledge each other. Hana longs for Lena more than ever. Her time at school is spent anxiously waiting to go home, and her time at home is spent rushing through homework or talking to Lena.
On the last day of school before spring break, Sombra signs herself out an hour early and runs home. When school lets out, she’s already waiting outside with the car. Confused, Hana comes to investigate.
“Got any plans tonight?” Sombra asks.
“Good, get in.”
She obliges. “Where are we going?”
“Strip club. Need something to cheer you up.”
“I’m joking, silly. You’re going to see your girlfriend.”
“Really?” Sombra smiles when she hears the lightness in her voice.
“Yep. I found her on facebook and set it up, we wanted to surprise you.”
“Oh my God, I love you.”
“Anything for you, kiddo.” The “I love you” stung because she knows it’s not the same love she feels, but it feels better than it hurts.
Hana realizes they’ve been driving for half an hour. “She wanted to walk this far?”
“Yeah, she said ‘I’m running’, and I guess was planning on walking until I asked mom to give her a ride.
“Well, we’re almost there. Just a few more minutes.”
Sombra pulls up in front of the house. Recognizing the car. Lena bursts out the door and sprints across the lawn. Hana steps out and happily embraces her, squeezing her tightly.
Sombra rolls down the window. “Alright, I’m gonna find somewhere to eat. Hana, text me when you need me to pick you up, or if you decide you’re staying over.”
“Have a good time. Use protection!” she shouts as she drives off. Hana rolls her eyes.
“Oh, I missed you so much,” Hana says.
“You too! School sucks without you.”
“I’m not doing so great either.”
“Yeah, what’re you doing about the whole Amelie thing?”
“Avoiding her. Can we just… not mention her?”
“Course we can. Hungry?”
“Starving. Don’t get lunch on half days.”
Hours pass and it’s the evening. Hana’s already texted Sombra to tell her that she’s staying over, and the two girls sit in Lena’s room watching a movie.
“So… do your grandparents get out much?” Hana asks.
“Not really, they stay in most nights.”
“That… kinda sucks,” Hana says. Her hand was resting against Lena’s leg, and she shifts it upwards to rest on top of it.
“O-oh,” she suddenly realizes why she was asking. “Well… they’re kind of old and can’t hear that well.”
“Oh really?” Her fingers now brush a region that can only be classified as ‘inner thigh’.
“Yeah, for them to hear I’d have to… be screaming at the top of my lungs.”
“I can arrange that.”
“Oh, what, you want to get caught?”
“It’s a tantalizing concept.”
“Well, let’s see where it goes.”
“Okay, I don’t know about you, but while I’m a big fan of the foreplay it’s been long enough that I don’t think I’m gonna need it.”
“I’ve been pent up for a month.”
“That’s too long. Get naked and fuck me.”
Hana hurriedly pulls off her t-shirt, and Lena follows suit. She undoes her bra and Hana goes for her pants. Hana moans. “Fuck, I forgot how beautiful your tits are.”
Within a minute, they’re naked and Lena’s on top of her. Their tongues dance around each other, lifting their souls up. Hana’s hands explore down Lena’s back, eventually finding her ass. She gives it a tight squeeze, then untangles her legs from her partner’s. One goes over, one goes under, and she pushes her down onto her.
Every hair on their body stands up with the electricity that sparks when their clits graze against each other. Their bodies burn with passion, and Hana squeaks out a few loving expletives as a plume of flame spreads through her pelvis.
She tangles her hand in her hair and pulls her in for a kiss, keeping the other hand firmly on her ass. Electricity courses through the circuit they create, elevating every sensation. When Lena pulls away for air, Hana melts when she sees her sex-flushed face.
“Gotta taste you… one sec,” Hana pants, and pulls her away from her. Lena grips the headboard for balance as Hana presses her lower lips to her mouth. She lets out a staccato “ahh” of pleasure as she circles her clit with her tongue, drifting away every few seconds to lap up her juices.
Lenas moans become more and more frenzied and incomprehensible as her thighs turn to butter. Her legs threaten to give out, driving Hana’s head deeper and deeper into the pillow. Hana takes no issue with the predicament, and keeps her tempo steady.
She guides her over the edge and her eyes fill with stars. She arcs her back and silently screams, only a few sighs escaping her mouth. Hana gently licks up and down her slit to savor her juices, each stroke making her shudder. Once she gets her breath back, she climbs off her girlfriend and kisses her hungrily, tasting herself in her mouth.
“Your turn!” Lena says, and crawls to the other end of the bed. Hana’s inner thighs are streaked with her fluid, which she laps up, feeling her shudder as she teases around her vulva. When she touches her clit her tongue is electric, sending a wave of pleasure through her body. She wraps her legs around her head, locking her in place. She wraps her mouth around her clit and lightly sucks on it, and feels satisfied when she screams through her teeth.
Between the scissoring and touching herself while eating out Lena, Hana’s not too far from the edge. Lena feels her thighs tighten against the sides of her head, and licks over her with long, slow sweeps.
“Fuck, Lena, I—” ‘love’ gets stuck in her throat. “I—” a loud moan overtakes it this time. “I—” third time isn’t the charm, instead of the impossible task of proclaiming love, she announces that she’s about to cum.
And cum she does, gasping and screaming. Everything in her tightens before releasing as powerful waves overcome her, wiping everything in her mind. Lena crawls back up to lie next to her. Their lips gently touch, then they pull apart and smile at each other.
“I—” love you “missed you so much,” Hana says.
It has been WAY TOO LONG since we had a good sex scene here. Hopefully this makes up for it at least a little bit.
Chapter 17: Everything is Terrible
Exactly what the chapter title says
Lena stands in her school’s gymnasium, leaning against the bleachers as most of the other kids play basketball or just toss the balls around. It’s loud, and she has to have her music pump through her earbuds at almost 90% volume to hear it fully. She checks her phone every few minutes, hoping for both a message from Hana and for the clock to magically jump forty minutes forward and transfer her to the end of class.
A cute redheaded girl approaches her. “Hey.”
She pulls out one of her earbuds. “Hm?”
“I said hey. I can’t help but notice you’ve been here for a good two months now and you haven’t really made friends with anyone.”
“Yeah, I guess not. Thanks.”
“Sorry, I guess that sounded a bit rude. So, why’d you end up in a new school right in the middle of the year.”
“I’m sure you don’t want to hear it.”
“Of course I do. I asked, didn’t I.”
“Alright, then I’m sure I don’t want to tell it.”
“Kind of. Sorry, I’m kind of moody right now.”
“All good. So, what kind of things do you like doing?”
“Well, I was on the track team at my old school, and I was in choir, but of course you can’t just join in all that in the middle of the year.”
“Guess not. So what was your plan, treat this year as a loss and try to join in next year?”
She shrugs. “Don’t really have a plan.”
“Well, take that one, there aren’t really too many others. There are some clubs that you can hop in and out of whenever, though.”
“Agreed, just thought I’d offer. Chess and gaming club.”
“Your loss. GSA?”
“Could you tell?”
“Little bit. To be honest it gets kinda circlejerk-y a lot, but there’s some pretty cool people there. Good place to make friends, assuming you’re looking.”
“When do they meet?”
“Tomorrow after school and every Wednesday until the end of the year.”
“Maybe I’ll see you there.”
Hana sighs as she looks through her message histories with Lena and Amelie. After Lena left, she talked to Lena twice as much as Amelie. She tries to justify it to herself, Lena was gone so she had to talk to her more over her computer. But no, even though she’d seen her in school and took her on dates, she’d had a lot longer, arguably more meaningful conversations with Lena.
She thinks back to when they’d first gotten together. Amelie and Lena had lost their partner, and still stuck together. Lena wasn’t even out of the relationship, but Hana, in her eyes, had failed to keep Amelie around.
The knowledge makes her feel empty, not the wet empty that usually accompanies tears, but the cold empty that makes her want to hide under a blanket forever. She places her computer gently on her nightstand and buries herself under her blanket.
After a few minutes, she pokes her head out and knocks on the wall. Sombra hops out of bed and peeks in. “What’s up?”
“Lay with me.”
“Gladly.” She lifts the blanket and they snuggle up to each other. “What’s wrong?”
“I fucked everything up, Amelie left because of me.”
“No she didn’t.”
“She and Lena stayed together back when their third left them, I couldn’t keep her around when it was just the two of us.”
“That’s her problem. She left you and Lena, you still have her.”
“But it’s my fault they couldn’t stay together! They’d probably still be together if it wasn’t for me.”
“How? Logic it out, Hana, you’re not making sense.”
“They were fine together on their own before I got there.”
“You were all fine together before Lena’s dad ruined everything. His fault, Hana. Not yours.”
“I guess.” On some plane she knows she’s right, but her mind is consumed with the cold emptiness. The all-too familiar emptiness that makes her want to cry for no reason and just hide in her room with a blanket and never get up until she rots.
“I can tell you don’t believe me.”
She groans. “I just can’t! It’s like… It’s like…”
“I know you’re right when you say the words, but when I put it in my head I know you’re wrong.”
“Just try, honey.”
“I am.” Her voice takes on the watery quality that it usually does before she sheds silent tears.
Sombra starts to rub her back. “Don’t cry, honey, what’s the problem?”
“I… I’m just so alone. Amelie’s here but she’s not, and Lena’s all the way over there, and whenever I’m at school it’s like I’m in this box and it’s so cold and… and…” she pauses to whine from her throat and try to keep the mucus in her nose. “I don’t even want to get out of bed,” she confesses.
“I’ve been there before.”
“And then… and… you’re gonna go to college!” A sob bursts out at the realization. “You can’t leave me here, there’s no one… I can’t… why…”
Sombra squeezes her tight. She doesn’t say anything, her only options are blatantly lying or just making her feel worse.
“I don’t want to be alone!”
Fuck, she’s about to make Sombra start crying too.
“Everything’s just falling apart and I can’t… please don’t leave me.”
“I’m here now.”
“But you’re leaving in September!”
“That’s September, baby. It’s not now, it’s way in the future.”
“Plenty of time for things to get better.”
“Don’t think like that, baby. Come on, you’re in a bad place right now, but it’s just that, a place. You’ll find a way out and you’ll leave it.”
Hana opens her eyes and looks up at her sister. She gave her the greatest highs and worst lows of her life. Right now, she’s the oasis in an endless Tundra of nothingness, the one person she can touch, the one person who can hold her and tell her everything will be alright.
She kisses her, pressing their lips together. Old emotions flare up in Sombra, the dust that covered them clouding her mind. She never wants this to end, just spend an eternity with her sister in her arms, locked in a permanent embrace even as the universe dies around them. She wants to spend every night with her, hold hands with her, kiss her every day, tell her she loves her at every hello and every goodbye and a couple of times in between…
“No.” She pushes her away. Hana feels like an icicle snapped off her brain and plunged into her heart, pushing it into her stomach.
“Hana…” she doesn’t let her say she loves her, stopping the words before they can come spilling out. “We can’t. You’re with Lena. You can’t hurt her the way I hurt you.”
The way I hurt you
Everything piles on top of her. Sombra’s betrayal, Lena’s forced exile, Amelie’s abandonment, the rejection, and now the realization of what she just tried to do crashes around her. All the bones in her soul seem to break, and the pain won’t let her stop crying. Sombra patiently, loyally holds her until she finally exhausts herself and sobs her last, fading into slumber.
I literally just wrote this to be edgy pseudo-incestuous fetish porn how the fuck did it come to this
Chapter 18: Selbstverachtung
Did you know that the time between chapter uploads is inversely proportional to the length of the chapter? I don't have any math to back it up, but it sure seems that way sometimes.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Hana wakes up before Sombra after five hours of restless sleep. She remembers trying to kiss her, and the urge to disappear under her blanket forever emerges. She feels utterly, completely alone, left out to freeze in the cold. She grabs the comforter and pulls it over her head. She enjoys what she assumes are her last few warm moments near her sister before she leaves her forever.
The sun slowly breaks over the horizon, signaling that it’s almost time to wake up. She can’t stand the idea of getting up and walking to school alone, where she’ll sit through classes alone, and go back home and talk to someone behind a screen, and go to bed alone, only to wake up alone—
“Hey,” Sombra says, gently lifting the blanket to see her sister’s face. “You ok?”
She shakes her head.
“Want me to tell mom you’re too sick to go to school? You won’t have to see anyone, you can just stay in bed and play games all day.”
She doesn’t really want to play games, but doing nothing is far more appealing than doing anything. She nods.
“Ok. You just stay here, I’ll come right back after school. Sound good?”
“Thank you.” The cold sunlight shines in her face, and she can’t bring herself to get up and close the window. It feels like her blanket weighs a million pounds and she can’t bring herself to get up. She rolls over, twisting herself into the bed, and tries to ignore the light.
Angela opens the door. Hana doesn’t react. “Hana? Honey?”
“Sombra tells you’re sick?”
She feels her cool fingers press against her forehead. “Well, you’re not warm…”
No no no no no please don’t make me get up
“But that’s alright. You haven’t missed a day this year, you can take one or two to rest if you want.”
“Thanks,” she whispers.
“Need something to eat?”
She shakes her head.
“Okay. Just let me know.”
Sombra uses the walk to school to clear her head. Her sister, who may very well be clinically depressed from what she saw, tried to kiss her last night. As much as she wanted it to happen, she stopped it. She’s convinced that was the right thing to do, even though not so deep down she wishes she let it happen.
Of course, nothing good could’ve resulted from letting it happen. As soon as Hana saw something to remind her of Lena, she’d immediately feel terrible. Furthermore, a kiss like that could never lead to the two girls getting back together (which she hates to but has to admit she wants in the not-so-deep down), it was prompted by sadness and loneliness instead of true feelings.
It was the right thing to do. It was the right thing to do. No, how must Hana have felt when you pushed her away when she needed you most? She was feeling so alone, she just needed someone to touch, and you couldn’t even give her that.
There’s that voice again. The one that hates her. She rolls her eyes and tries to ignore it. It controlled her for almost a year, she’s back in control now. She spends first period thinking up ways to make her feel better. She’s already doing as much as she can, being there to comfort her and helping her skip school, but there has to be something more.
Oh! She could take her to see Lena again! She whips out her phone and texts her.
Sombra: Hey! Can I take Hana to see you again this weekend?
She gets an answer at the beginning of second period.
Lena: Fuck, I wish I could.
Lena: School stuff
Lena: I really want to though! I’ll keep next weekend open.
Sombra: Alright, I’ll get that figured out
Sombra: She’s been really down lately
Sombra: Give her a call when you can, I’m sure hearing your voice will cheer her up.
Of course, just hearing someone’s voice won’t cure depression, but it’ll surely make her feel better, right?
Second period she tries to analyze exactly what’s putting her in a bad mood. Obviously depression is depression (if that is what she has) and doesn’t go away easy, but getting rid off everything upsetting her has gotta help at least a little right?
Yeah, it’ll help you get back in her pants.
She rolls her eyes. Shut the fuck up . Ok, girlfriend broke up with her and she’s convinced that it’s her fault. That… she can’t really do much about. She can tell her it was Amelie’s fault until the Earth stops spinning, but unfounded guilt is a hell of a drug. A five page essay on why Amelie leaving her was entirely Amelie’s fault probably couldn’t convince her, and she’ll just have to realize it on her own.
Other girlfriend lives halfway across the state? Ok, she tried for that, and hopefully she can get them together next weekend.
But of course that won’t happen. You won’t let it. Because you want Hana all to yourself.
Okay, what else…
The root of all her problems, of course, is that someone she trusted took advantage of her, left her, traumatized her, and is now buttering her up so she can sleep with her again.
She clenches and unclenches her fist under the table.
Think about it. Hana’s been unstable since you ruined her. If she hadn’t been so hurt, she wouldn’t have sought out the companionship of two women—
Now, that’s not—
If she wasn’t with Lena and Amelie in the first place, Lena’s dad wouldn’t have threatened Lena with Alabama, and Lena wouldn’t have run away. If Lena didn’t run away, Amelie wouldn’t have left. Everything would’ve been just fine if you didn’t seduce your sister (you depraved freak).
You want Hana to feel better? Just leave her alone. She’d be just fine without you.
Her eyes start to sting. She thinks the voice that hates her might have a point. If Hana asks her for something, fine, if not she’ll just stay in her room.
She starts to feel sick. Unfounded guilt is a hell of a drug.
1) Does anyone know a fancy (possibly German, they have a word for everything) word for self-loathing? That would probably be a much better chapter title.
Edit: chapter name is now "Selbstverachtung" or "self-contempt" (thanks BlueShell, you're the real MVP)
2) School is kicking my ass. Fortunately, Thanksgiving break is soon, and what better way to spend it than writing porn in my childhood bedroom?
3) I keep describing this as porn but there's a severe lack of porn sometimes...